


Can't Help Falling in Love with You

by eternallyunleashed



Series: Can't Help Falling in Love with You [2]
Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: (slight dom/sub), Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Zayn, CEO Liam, Dom/sub, Ex footballer Liam, Fluff, Humour, Intern Zayn, Liam calls Zayn baby boy, Liam is 26 years old, Liam is a cocky shameless flirt, M/M, Niall Horan & Liam Payne Friendship, Protective Liam, Rimming, Sexual Content, Shy Zayn, Smut, Soft zayn, Student Zayn, This is a work of fiction, Top Liam, Zayn Malik & Harry Styles Friendship, Zayn has anxiety, Zayn is going into pre-med, alot of sexual tension, and bambi eyes, and draw/paint, anxious cluess zayn, boss liam, harry is a blogger/youtuber on the side, i dont own zayn or liam or one direction or any of these characters, liam and niall have been friends since their high school days too, loads of fluff, shameless flirt liam, so yes its a slight age gap, the title is inspired by elvis presleys song cant help falling in love, they intern at liams company the summer before they start at NYU, this is set in NYC, will keep updating, zayn and harry are childhood best friends, zayn can sing, zayn is 18 years old
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-18 17:37:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 518,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9395981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eternallyunleashed/pseuds/eternallyunleashed
Summary: In the 18 years he's been alive Zayn has learnt to deal with the insane amounts of anxiety and stress that life threw his way. It was always easy to stay back and pretend he was invisible. After agreeing to Harry's idea of an internship he realizes all his hopes of maintaining a quiet simple life as he works towards Med-school get tossed out the window. Liam Payne enters his life. Zayn can't put a name to all the whirlwind of emotions that threaten to rip his body apart by just being near Liam, but he is certain of one thing. The mere thought or sight of Liam makes him lose the ability to breathe.For Liam his goal is pretty simple. Ever since he laid eyes on Zayn, who looks like sin in human form with eyes that threaten to rip a man's heart out, he knew he had to have the boy. He needs him more than he's wanted anything in his entire life. Otherwise his red hot desire for the boy might just take him to his death.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> (Zayn is an 18 year old just out of high school who is going to start pre-med in NYU in September. Liam is a 26 year old CEO of a major company and also an ex-football player. Their paths cross when Zayn lands an internship at Liam's company thanks to Harry and their lives are completely thrown off balance).
> 
> Here it is! The proper fic now begins. The response to the little teaser I uploaded "I'm So Into You I Can Barely Breathe" was so wonderful and overwhelming it motivated me to get the full fic out as soon as possible. That teaser-drabble was situated at a point in the story that comes many chapters in (when Zayn and Liam finally get together). The proper fic will now start from the beginning of their journey, how they meet and how their lives change and progress from there. This fic in my head is very very long. The story is pretty long and complicated and takes a little time jump later on as well. I don't know if people will want to read everything or if I should chop up a lot and condense it. We'll see how it progresses. Also the story is in both Zayn and Liam's POVS, it switches between them. Hope you enjoy the story :)
> 
> (check the end notes)

_“At the enchanted metropolitan twilight I felt a haunting loneliness sometimes, and felt it in others— poor young clerks who loitered in front of the windows waiting until it was time for a solitary restaurant dinner-- young clerks in the dusk, wasting the most poignant moments of night and life.”_

Zayn traced his finger over the faded highlight running across one of his favourite quotes in the ‘The Great Gatsby’. Fitzgerald had written an all time classic. Even close to a century later after the world had changed so much, people could relate so well to his characters. Zayn closed his worn-out copy of the book and sighed leaning his head back against the bookshelf. He was sat on the floor of the library, leaning back against a bookshelf situated in the back of the room. This spot was his sanctuary when he needed to escape this god-forsaken school or when he just wanted to disappear and breathe for a while. Or try to settle down his anxiety. He turned his head to the right side towards the window and saw the sun beating down, creating unbearable heat. Zayn hated the heat. Another reason why he hid out in here. And today it was so exceptionally quiet in the library with everyone outside soaking up the heat while trying to enjoy the last week of school. Or maybe they just wanted to get a glimpse of the guest of honour arriving today for the school’s assembly.

 

Liam Payne. Zayn remembered the name Harry had told him when he had been rambling on and on a few nights ago while lying across the foot of Zayn’s bed while Zayn tried to focus on studying for their finals, occasionally humming to give Harry the impression that he was listening.

 

_“Can you believe out of every school out there in the city he chose our school? He could have chosen any of those private schools that he himself attended and given those snobs the fame they’re always craving. But he didn’t! He chose our school for his scholarship and internship program! That he means he really is a good person ZayZay and not like the tabloids sometimes make him out to be.” Harry grinned up at Zayn who only shot Harry a small smile while his hand blurred across his notebook taking notes for his Biology final._

_“You will enter the draw for the internship right babe? You promised me.” Harry suddenly sat up and grabbed a hold of Zayn’s wrist to stop him from writing._

_“Haz…. You know I don’t want to…” Zayn started while rubbing his eyes tiredly._

_“Zayn. We’ve already been over this. It’s a paid internship for fuck’s sake. You can make some good money this summer before we start in NYU in September. And yes, I know you said you don’t really care because it’s not related to your field but c’mon babe. Working for the summer at RED will instantly boost your resume up from a 1 to a 10. People with gleaming qualifications find it hard to earn an internship at this place and we have a chance here to get one for free! All we have to do is enter the draw. This opportunity will never come again for us. The fact that Liam Pane is giving our school this opportunity is just mind blowing on its own and imagine if we get chosen babe!” Harry finished his long speech while looking at Zayn with pleading eyes._

_“Haz you’re going into business so it’s good for you. What purpose will I serve when my goals in life are medical school? Also they’re going to choose two names from a draw of like a thousand kids. There’s like one in a million if not at all chance that both of us get selected together. What if I got selected with someone else? You know I get super anxious,” Zayn whispered the last part keeping his eyes downcast._

_“ZayZay I love you, you know I do. But I’m forcing you into this for your own good. You need to get out more babe. Working for one of the biggest management companies in all of New York right now will do you good. And what if you get to see a celebrity client? That will be fun won’t it? Trust me babe you’ll be thanking me for this.” Harry patted Zayn on the leg then fell back against the bed to continue studying for his English final._

Zayn sighed feeling resigned knowing he could never deny Harry anything. Harry had convinced him pretty well that night and earlier this day Zayn had put his name into the draw with a grinning Harry beside him. Whatever happened it was up to fate now. He knew his parents and Harry would be happy if he did this but how could he tell them that being in new strange places with new strange people who wore more accomplished and put together than him made his insides twist in a nasty way?

 

“Please Allah whatever happens don’t let my name get drawn,” Zayn murmured leaning his head back once again.

 

Zayn was so zoned out as he sat there once again picking up his book, he hadn’t noticed the commotion outside when a sleek black SUV had pulled up. He had just gotten to his favourite part where Gatsby dies (a dark part of the book but the shock factor made it his favourite bit) when he heard the door of the library fly open and multiple footsteps accompanied with voices enter. Zayn ignored it assuming some students had entered the library to get away from the heat and cool down in the air-conditioned room. He couldn’t hear what the voices were saying but eventually footsteps were heard again and the door slammed shut, signalling whoever had entered had left. Zayn had just gone back to reading when he heard a phone ring and a deep rich voice start speaking

 

“Babe I’ll call you back I’m a little busy- you’re what?” the voice chuckled. “It’s 11:30 am Alycia… “

 

Zayn could hear a clicking sound as if the owner of the voice was using a lighter.

 

“Mmm aren’t you always? What are you wearing?” the man asked as his voice dropped into a huskier tone.

 

Zayn’s eyebrows shot up not believing that he was listening to some stranger have phone sex in the library before the clock had even hit noon.

 

“Is that the same one you wore when we were in Paris?” the voice was getting closer to the back of the library and Zayn realized to his own horror that this stranger was about to discover that his private phone sex was suddenly not so private. Zayn looked around panicked realizing that there was nowhere for him to hide, or escape the library unseen because there were windows to his right and to his left where the aisle ended was the rest of the library where the man was coming from.

 

“Can you hold off till tonight? I can probably see you then. I’m in a high school library right now baby,” the man was even closer now so Zayn just buried his face into his book praying that maybe his dreams of becoming invisible would really come true.

 

“That turns you on? You’ve got some crazy fetishes baby,” the man laughed and it was at this point that he had turned the corner and walked into the aisle where Zayn was waiting.

 

There are few things in Zayn’s life that he could say have taken his breath away and left him feeling flustered and he could count those things on one hand. The moment where he peeked over the top of his trusted copy of “The Great Gatsby” and saw the man who had intruded into his little corner, Zayn felt like all the air had been knocked out of his lungs. The man was so insanely handsome Zayn felt his toes curl. Tall and well-built with biceps straining against his black suit jacket. His shoulders were broad and his hands looked big and strong. His face was something spectacular with gorgeous brown eyes, plush lips and a well-groomed beautiful scruff. His chestnut brown, slightly curly hair, was in a messy but neatly styled quiff and his sinful lips were wrapped around a cigarette. To complete it all he was dressed in a perfectly tailored suit, and from the looks of it, extremely expensive as well. Zayn would never admit this out loud but men with impeccable dressing turned him on so much. Zayn had been staring at the stranger for so long he hadn’t noticed the smirk forming on the man’s lips as he became aware of Zayn’s staring. It wasn’t until he looked up and saw the man’s eyes glinting that he snapped his head back down his face burning.

 

“I’ll call you later baby. And don’t change out of that. I wanna see you in that tonight when I come over to your place,” he didn’t wait for a reply just shut his phone and leaned his shoulder against the bookshelf and took a drag of his cigarette still studying Zayn.

 

“Hello,” the man said.

 

“Hi,” Zayn replied his voice coming out slightly choked.

 

“Do you hide back here routinely to listen in on stranger’s conversations? Because I must say your hiding spot could be a little more inconspicuous,” the man said while grinning at Zayn.

 

“I-I..” Zayn started feeling embarrassed. “I’m really sorry sir I didn’t mean to. I usually sit here when I want to get some silence for a bit. I didn’t intend on listening to your conversation,” Zayn hurried out as he put his book down uncovering his face which had been half hidden behind the book.

 

As Zayn sat up straight he saw something flash through the man’s eyes. He gazed so intensely at him that Zayn started feeling self-conscious. He thought the man was probably upset at being overheard maybe that’s why he suddenly had this unreadable expression as he took Zayn in quietly. His eyes roamed lazily but deeply assessing over Zayn’s body as if studying him. Then when his gaze came back up to Zayn’s face he grinned.

 

“What’s your name,” the man asked while taking another drag.

 

“Z-Zayn,” Zayn whispered.

 

“That’s a really beautiful name. It suits you,” the man smiled as Zayn felt his body heat up.

 

“What’s your name?” Zayn asked feeling a little brave and he saw confusion pass over the man’s face.

 

“You don’t- you’re a student here right?” the man asked.

 

“Yes,” Zayn answered wondering why the man looked so confused.

 

“But you don’t know. Refreshing I must say,” the man murmured mostly to himself as he started looking at Zayn in that much too intense way again.

 

“I don’t wanna ruin your mood but you um, you’re not allowed to smoke in here,” Zayn gulped and pointed to the ‘No Smoking’ sign.

 

The man grinned again and mumbled something like ‘really fucking cute’ and moved past Zayn towards the window and propped it open. He continued to smoke but blew the smoke out the window.

 

“I’m James, since you were asking,” the main finally said.

 

“Oh um.. hello James,” Zayn said but looked away because the man’s shameless staring coupled with his mind-numbing attractiveness was really doing a number on Zayn’s anxiety and he was having trouble staying calm.

 

“Are you not taking part in today’s event Zayn? Do you not want to try and get the internship?” James asked.

 

“Well um, my friend Harry made me put my name in. He’s really excited for it and wants me to do it too,” Zayn said while drawing little circles into the frayed library carpeting.

 

“Do you not want to?” James asked curiously as he stubbed the last of his cigarette onto the window sill and threw it out.

 

“It’s complicated…. I mean if Harry and me both won together I’d go but not alone. I just- it’s hard. Harry says working for RED would be good for me but I don’t know how working for Liam Payne will possibly help me. I’m going into pre-med in September…. “ Zayn trailed off as he saw James was smirking at him with a glint in his eye.

 

“What?” Zayn asked nervously.

 

“Nothing,” James grinned. “And you’re right. Working for Liam Payne won’t help you much in your field but you should give it a shot anyways who knows what you might find there.”

 

Zayn stared at James unable to understand what the hidden meaning behind his confusing words were. Zayn didn’t even know who he was or what he was even doing here.

 

“May I ask who you are? Like why you’re at our school?” Zayn asked.

 

“I’m here on behalf of RED.” James said.

 

“Oh. Do you work with this Liam Payne person? Everyone in my school has been obsessing over his visit for weeks. Apparently, he used to be a footballer before he took over his family business Payne Corporations or something and created RED.” Zayn informed James who just gave Zayn an amused look.

 

“I know. Although he is a bit of a douchebag,” James said. “If you get the internship stay away from him. He has a weakness for hazel-eyed boys who read Fitzgerald in their down time,” James nodded at Zayn’s book while Zayn felt himself flush again.

 

“I don’t- why would he.. I’m nothing..” Zayn stammered out.

 

James just stared at Zayn with a little smile, that seemed far too fond for someone he had just met, and a small shake of his head.

 

“Maybe if he is a douchebag like you said I shouldn’t do this. But why would he do so much for our school? Does he just want to show off?” Zayn inquired.

 

“People do crazy and spontaneous things Zayn. Sometimes there’s a beautiful reward in return for a kind act. Sometimes it’s just for the feeling of satisfaction from helping others out. In this case, there could be a bit of both,” James said while he tilted his head slightly looking at Zayn in that indecipherable way again.

 

“I-” Zayn started but was interrupted with a loud banging signalling that someone had barged through the doors.

 

“Zayn! Zayn are you in here?! ZayZay!” Harry’s loud voice echoed through the empty library.

 

Zayn scrambled up and hurried down the aisle to see Harry striding towards where he knew Zayn would be hiding out.

 

“Haz I’m here. What are you doing here?” Zayn asked as Harry came over to him.

 

“The assembly is about to start so I came to find you. Liam Payne’s already here! Although we don’t know where he is. They brought him in through the back entrance and hid in some secret room till the assembly starts ‘cus they didn’t want people swarming him,” Harry informed Zayn while grinning. Then his eyes caught something behind Zayn’s head and the smile got wiped off his face and he choked out a surprised sound.

 

“Yeah I hate when that happens,” Zayn hears James say from behind him then he walked out and leaned against the bookshelf opposite Zayn.

 

“Li-Liam? I mean Mr. Payne? Fuck,” Harry choked out with wide eyes and a hand on his heart.

 

Zayn felt like someone had pulled the ground out from beneath his feet because there was no other explanation for the sudden shock that rocked his body so severely and made him feel like he had fallen down, hard.

 

“What?” Zayn could feel his body start to shake. His hands broke out into cold sweats.

 

‘No no no!’ Zayn thought. He had said some ridiculous stuff to someone who was not only the guest of honour at their school today but could also be his future employer.

Zayn felt so ridiculously stupid in that moment. Curse his heart for never being interested enough in football or celebrity gossip to not recognize what Liam Payne looked like. Curse his foolishness to never google what the man who Harry had been rambling non-stop about looked like. The entire student body probably wasn’t this ridiculous. Zayn willed his heart to slow down. This was bad as it was, he didn’t need to have a panic attack.

 

“ZayZay you okay?” Harry put a hand on Zayn’s shoulder and looked at him with concerned eyes.

 

“I-I’m fine,” Zayn mumbled then looked up and met James- no Liam’s eyes. He looked like he was holding back some laughter.

 

“How did you..” Harry left the sentence unfinished obviously wondering how Zayn had gotten himself alone in a room with Liam and then proceeded to make a fool of himself.

 

“I intruded into your friend’s quiet place so it’s mostly my fault. My assistant had the library cleared out for me to hide out in obviously nobody saw Zayn back here but it’s okay I’ve found his company to be quite interesting,” Liam smirked at Zayn.

 

Zayn wanted to die then and there. He didn’t know when God actually planned on his demise but he wanted it to be at that very moment. If he stayed alive another moment, he would have a stroke from embarrassment or burst into tears and he didn’t know which was worse.

 

“I’m Harry Styles,” Harry threw Liam one of his confident grins and stuck his hand forward. Liam smiled and took Harry’s hand.

 

“You’ve obviously met my best friend Zayn Malik. We both entered the draw for the internship and if our names are drawn we’d be honoured to work for you,” Harry announced oblivious to Zayn’s inner turmoil.

 

“Are you sure?” Liam said looking to Zayn who was having a serious staring contest with the ugly blue couch across the library.

 

“We’re very sure,” Harry said looking to Zayn for affirmation and frowning when he saw Zayn looking pale and rigid.

 

“Well I’m rooting for you then. May the odds be in your favour,” Liam said and walked away towards a sofa while pulling out his phone that had started buzzing.

 

“Zayn! My God did that just happen? Do you think I should ask him about the interview for my blog?” Harry said grabbing Zayn’s arm.

 

“Sure,” Zayn mumbled.

 

“Babe you okay? You look really pale. Did you have an anxiety attack?” Harry asked in a concerned tone.

 

“No Haz! I just made an ass of myself in front of an extremely attractive man who could also possibly be my future employer if things go your way!” Zayn whisper-shouted feeling his voice start to shake.

 

“What did you do?” Harry asked with wide eyes.

 

There was no time to answer because the door opened again and a gorgeous brunette woman dressed in a pencil skirt and blouse walked in followed by the school principal.

 

“Liam,” the woman said as she strode over to him.

 

Liam looked up at her and smiled tucking his phone into his pocket.

 

“Meemz,” Liam said in a faux serious tone which earned him a glare from the woman.

 

“They’re almost ready for you. You just have to head backstage now because the students have all taken their seats and it’s about to begin,” She said as she scrolled through a mini iPad in her hand.

 

“Also make sure your speech notes are good to go. First you’ll give the speech where you’ll discuss the scholarships and then they’ll make you draw out the names for the internship. Pretty simple.” She stated.

 

“Sounds good,” Liam said pulling up something on his phone and scrolling through it.

 

“Mr. Styles? Mr. Malik? What are you doing here? The assembly is about to begin, go take your seats!” the principal said suddenly catching sight of the two boys loitering at the back.

 

“Sorry Ms. Jones we’re going,” Harry said hurriedly grabbing a hold of Zayn’s hand and pulling him towards the doors. At the last second Zayn turned around and saw Liam nodding along to whatever the woman called Meemz was saying and just when Zayn was almost out the door Liam looked up catching Zayn’s eye and winked at him. If Zayn wanted to die before this sealed the deal. Zayn flushed and ducked out the door feeling his heart beat rise frantically and hurried after Harry towards the gymnasium.  

 

**

        

 

“People have been asking me for the past few weeks why I chose this school. Usually not wanting to prolong the conversation I answered ‘cus I can do whatever the fuck I want to.”

 

All the students in the crowd chuckled watching Liam as he stood up on the stage giving his speech. It seemed like every kid at this moment was infatuated with him. Whether it was celebrity worship or just kids being in love with the idea of a young millionaire standing before them, teachers and students alike were wearing broad smiles and giving Liam their full attention. It was moments like this that made Liam realize how much power his position held. These kids blindly ate up whatever someone they admired told them. But Liam didn’t want to bullshit with them. When he chose Whitefield Public School it was after endless nights of research. He didn’t want his scholarship program to go to any private school like St. Xaviers where he himself attended. Those kids were privileged enough like he himself had been when growing up to have parents who funded everything. Liam wanted to take his money to a school that really needed it. Then Ameera had told him about Whitefield where she herself had gone as a teenager. A school nestled away in Brooklyn where many students who were in desperate needs of scholarships attended. Liam trusted Ameera and it didn’t take him long to decide he’d come here. Not only would he bring his scholarship program but he wanted to introduce internship opportunities where two kids from the senior year could get the chance to come work for his management company RED for the summer. He was tired of seeing kids looking like they came straight from the sets of ‘Gossip Girl’ take over the internships just because their parents had connections with one of Liam’s subordinates. These kids needed it more.

 

“I’m not gonna bullshit with you guys. I was being pressured into taking this program to some private school where Manhattan’s elites go. ‘It’s good networking they said’ ‘the PR will be good’ ‘my daughter goes there and she adores you, do it for her!’ That’s the kind of shit they were telling me. After nearly giving up I realized fuck this shit I’m the boss I can do whatever the fuck I want and I’m gonna take this where it’s most needed,” Liam grinned at the sea of faces seeing some teachers frown at his swearing. As his eyes roamed over the crowd his eyes landed on him. Fuck. The boy. Sin wrapped in a red henley, black skinny jeans and glasses. Red lips bitten raw, raven locks so tousled and flawless and those eyes. Those fucking hazel eyes that ever since he’d seen them when the boy had lowered his book in the library, Liam had lost his ability to think. His brain shut down and his cock woke up. The boy’s shyness and innocent persona was enough to toss Liam over the edge. He barely knew the boy and already felt so far gone. Zayn. Zayn Malik. This boy would be his untimely death he knew of it.

 

Keeping his eyes on the boy Liam powered through the rest of his speech. His years spent in the media’s eye had trained him on how to keep his face neutral and keep his mouth moving professionally, while his brain went on over drive. Zayn still had a flush on his cheeks and was biting his lip raw. Liam knew that maybe teasing the boy in the library by not letting him know who he was, was wrong, but it was worth it. The boy’s innocence was a treasure. How he so casually talked to Liam thinking he was James and later his face of complete shock when that Harry kid had given him way was amusing to say the least. At one point when Zayn stopped flitting his eyes around and looked Liam in the eye, Liam gave him a quick wink and smirk knowing that someone else might notice but he didn’t really care (he never really did). Zayn’s eyes widened and he flushed again. His friend Harry looked from Liam to Zayn confused.

 

“And so all I can say is that the only requirement this program has from you is that you keep you GPA at the required level and our scholarship will be granted to you. Full ride to college, everything covered for four years.” Liam announced to a crowd that broke out cheering.

 

“This program will be implemented next year, so seniors my deepest apologies that it will be too late for you but for everyone else this is something you can look forward to for next year. Other than that funding towards the school to bring in better equipment and renovate the building were started a few weeks ago and will continue next year as well. Now that the boring stuff has been covered let’s get to what most of you are excited for. Seniors let’s talk about my internship program. Your school has covered the basics of what it entails and you have all entered your name am I correct? So, I’m going to pick 2 names randomly out of this ballot box and the chosen two will be working a fully-paid internship with RED for 2 months this summer. Not to sound like a sales-man or anything but the experience will be amazing I can assure you. You won’t be the mailroom boy or girl but will be working really close to our higher-ups who handle executive management and PR for our top clients,” Liam smiled out at the crowd who were whispering excitedly and practically vibrating in their seats. He could see Harry nudging Zayn who smiled weakly at his friend.

 

“Who knows you might even end up working with someone who manages any one of our celebrity clients? Anyways the details of everything will be covered later. I believe your principal wants me to do the honours of pulling out the names now seeing as I’ve taken up a big chunk of your time already,” Liam turned to where a teacher was rolling over the ballot box. She sent Liam a too wide smile then walked away. Liam looked out at the crowd where most of the kids were leaning forward in their seats some with fingers crossed hoping to be chosen. He looked towards Zayn again and seeing the boy looking down at the floor looking sick with nerves, Liam felt this urge to hold the boy. He also suddenly realized he might never see him again. This endearing boy who couldn’t even tell that he was being flirted might never come into Liam’s life again. But Liam knew he couldn’t let him go just yet. No fucking way. Niall always said whenever Liam became infatuated with someone he was relentless, like a wolf hunting his prey. But Liam didn’t care. He just knew he couldn’t lose those pretty hazel eyes just yet. As his hand ruffled through the papers Liam remembered Zayn’s words from the library and how he was afraid to do this alone. It was then that Liam came to a decision. His hand pulled out two random pieces of paper and after opening them up and giving a cursory glance to the names (without taking in or caring for whose name they actually read) Liam looked up.

 

“Zayn Malik and Harry Styles.” Liam grinned as some students yelled out in dismay and the rest of them clapped for the winners, teachers included. Liam looked at the winners and saw a ghostly looking Zayn being pulled up by a shocked and excited Harry. A teacher was waving them down to come on to the stage. Zayn looked frozen in disbelief but Harry was pulling him to the stage as other kids clapped and some even whistled for them. Harry walked onto the stage first, followed by Zayn. Liam shook Harry’s hand and patted him on the back then as he shook Zayn’s hand he held it for a beat too long then murmured in a low voice so only Zayn could hear,

 

“You’ll be fine babe. Just watch out for that Liam Payne he has a thing for pretty hazel eyed boys who read Fitzgerald in their down time,” Liam smirked repeating his earlier words and Zayn’s eyes widened as he turned a deep crimson colour.

 

**

 

“Zayn we fucking did it! I’m so fucking surprised, like how did both of us win? Like there was one in a million chance of both of us getting it together fuck! The universe loves us I’m telling you.” Harry was barely able to hold still ever since they had gone through the motions of being congratulated and the principal giving a speech. Afterwards both of them had pictures taken with Liam then they had been let go while Liam had gone down to the gymnasium to take pictures with the other students who were lining up to take selfies or get autographs.

 

Zayn watched as Liam was grinning and giving a girl a hug who seemed to be giggling a little more than normal and flipping her blonde hair more than normal. Zayn rolled his eyes. He was so done with his fame thirsty and constantly horny classmates. One more week then he was free of this place. But that was the least of his worries. Everything right now seemed surreal. He had been praying that he wouldn’t win but now not only had he won but Harry had won too and he would force Zayn to go through with it. As if the anxiety of working in a new and massively well-known place wasn’t bad enough, he couldn’t even be around his future boss for more than a second before turning into a quivering bumbling mess. Liam Payne with his smirk and God-sent good looks and his confusing words spoken in that deep voice which had the potential to ruin Zayn. Yeah, there was no way Zayn was going to survive this summer.

 

“He’s about to leave Zayn, I’m gonna go talk to him about my interview. I hope he agrees to it because I’ve already gotten my followers excited and I don’t wanna seem like a flake. Come with me babe,” Harry grabbed Zayn’s hand and started pushing through the crowd where Liam had started towards the exit followed by Ameera, his assistant. By the time they had gotten outside Zayn saw Ms. Jones talking to Ameera on one side and Liam was leaning against an SUV smoking while typing away at his phone.

 

“Mr. Payne?” Harry said taking a tentative step forward.

 

Liam looked up briefly but seeing Zayn and Harry he looked up again and smiled.

 

“Harry right? And please call me Liam.” Liam said as he finished typing on his phone and pocketed it. He had taken off the suit jacket and his tie, and rolled up the sleeves to his white shirt. His tattoos were on full display and his biceps were straining against his shirt. Zayn bit his lip and looked away.

 

“Ummm this may sound random but I was wondering if I could conduct a short interview with you?” Harry asked suddenly seeming nervous. Liam raised an eyebrow at Harry.

 

“It’s not that extensive or probing. See I run a blog. It’s mostly about health and fitness but seeing as I’m going to be studying business at NYU in September I also talk about my entrepreneurial goals sometimes and how I want to make a business out of my passion for healthy living one day. I told my followers that you would be visiting and that I would try to get an interview seeing as you’re one of the youngest and richest CEO’s in the world right now. I mean you were in Forbes 30 under 30. I just really admire you and gosh I’m rambling but I’ve been waiting for this day for weeks and I really really won’t take much of your time. It’ll be short and we can do it whenever you want really.” Harry finished off and took a deep breath. He was fiddling with his necklaces and Zayn knew Harry did that when he was nervous. Liam stared at him for a beat taking another drag of his cigarette then gave a smile.

 

“You argue a good case Styles,” Liam said then stubbed out his cigarette with his foot. “What are you doing right now?” Liam asked.

 

“Now? Oh wow fuck um nothing really this is the last week of school there’s not much going on plus me and Zayn usually have this last period free so I’m totally available,” Harry grinned at Liam.

 

“Good. Meemz,” Liam turned to Ameera who was talking to someone on the phone but looked over at Liam at the mention of her name.

 

“Push back my afternoon meetings and tell Niall I won’t be meeting him for lunch. I’m gonna be spending the next hour or so doing an interview with Mr. Styles here. Okay?” Ameera pursed her lips and looked at Liam for a few seconds like she wanted to deny him but Liam gave her a look and she sighed.

 

“Of course boss,” She said and turned away to make a few phone calls.

 

“Alright. Let’s go. Know any good coffee shops around here where we can do this?” Liam asked and opened the car door.

 

“My parents own a café actually! It’s called ‘Styles Bakes’ it’s just a few blocks away. It’s usually empty at this time.” Harry smiled and stepped forward towards the car. Then remembering Zayn he turned back and looked to him.

 

“Zayn are you gonna stay at school or come with?” Harry asked.

 

“Are you not coming Zayn?” Liam asked looking at Zayn.

 

Zayn gulped unable to look Liam in the eye. He didn’t know if he could survive another hour or so around Liam and his burning gaze and his stress-inducing smirks. Zayn would be a puddle of wild emotions by the end for sure. Harry was looking back and forth between Liam and Zayn, and seeing Liam’s scrutinizing glance at Zayn he thought maybe it would be best if Zayn came. Seemed like Liam wanted him there.

 

“He is coming.” Harry yanked Zayn forward and when Zayn stumbled at the unexpected force Liam quickly stabilized Zayn with a hand to his hip. Zayn let out a small gasp feeling Liam’s strong grip on his hip. He looked up and was met with Liam’s sparkling brown eyes only a few centimetres from his own. This up close Zayn could see a dusting of freckles across Liam’s nose.

 

“Careful bambi eyes don’t want you to hurt yourself,” Liam murmured. Then with a hand to Zayn’s lower back he helped him into the car after Harry, then got in himself. Liam sat himself across from Zayn and Harry and Ameera climbed in last shutting the door. As Harry instructed the driver how to get to his parent’s café Zayn turned his gaze to look out the window. Listening to Harry laugh and joke with Liam and Ameera on the way to the café, Zayn decided then and there that he hated his stupid curly haired best friend. Because truly this was all his damn fault.

 

 

**

 

“So when was it that you decided you wanted to quit the NFL for good and take on your family’s business. I mean that’s a massive decision it couldn’t have been made overnight?” Liam took a sip of his coffee and looked at Harry who was patiently waiting for his answer. Harry had his phone set out to record an audio of the interview and was also jotting down notes in a small notebook. Zayn sat beside Harry looking a little distressed but giving Harry small encouraging smiles whenever he looked at him. Ameera had taken her cup of coffee and sat at a different table while finishing up some work on her iPad.

 

“I retired what like a year and a half ago? So, I had been thinking about it for a good year before that. My dad had been really sick and it was getting worse. His heart attack had been the final sign for me and family to realize he wasn’t fit to run the company anymore. It’s our family business and I always had plans to take over. I mean I studied business at NYU for a reason you know. Coupled with some personal reasons I decided it was finally time to leave the game. I had five really good years. Made a shit ton of money, got an insane amount of fame and I felt satisfied with that part of my life. I realized it was time for the next chapter.” Liam answered.

 

Harry hummed and started scribbling in his notebook. Liam picked up his coffee to take a sip and looked around the coffee shop thinking it was a pretty inviting and comfortable place. It had a sort of ‘Central Perk’ from FRIENDS vibe with the comfy couches and window seats and brightly coloured large mugs. While scanning the place Liam found his eyes falling on Zayn again, and saw that Zayn had been looking at him. Realizing that Liam had caught him the boy flushed deeply and looked away shakily taking a sip of his latte. Liam grinned and leaning forward he watched the boy unabashedly. Fuck he was beautiful. His eyes were made to die for. A gradient of hazel, caramel and gold they were framed by long lashes that swept along his sharp cheekbones every time he looked down. Liam realized that he had a pulsing desire to see the boy’s eyes roll back into his head as he fucked into him roughly at first and then sweet and slow. Zayn looked like he would let out the most beautiful moans while being fucked slow.

 

“So um, after taking over Payne Corporations what made you start RED? You already had the stress of your family business of nightclubs and destination hotels but you decided to start a management company too. Why?” Harry asked completely oblivious to what was happening with his best friend and his interviewee.

 

“Payne Corporations was doing pretty well and after I joined we revamped a lot of the ideas and gave the company a new look which made it more successful. But I was feeling restless because I still had my other dream. To start a management and PR firm. I had been a victim of bad management and PR myself when I was playing football and I wanted to change things for other people. When I started the company, I didn’t expect it to do so well so fast. But my old colleagues, friends of mine and so many people out there left their management to be represented by mine. They liked what I stood for.” Liam said with a shrug.

 

“Right. And if you don’t mind me asking, by bad management did you mean the NFL trying to cover up that you’re bisexual?” Harry asked a little nervously.

 

“You’ve come prepared,” Liam smiled at Harry. “Kind of I guess. From the start I never hid my sexuality. My parents have known since I was 14 and so have all my friends. My NYU football team knew it too and had no problem. But when I got with the NFL the problems started. I was always open about it and not many people cared but there were still some who saw it as an issue. It was mostly my management who wanted me to be seen as completely straight because it ‘sells better’. If I was dating a girl they were over the moon. But if a few months later I was dating a guy they had problems. It was relentless. So when my father first started suggesting it was time I took over the family business I started thinking it would be a good idea with all the stuff going on at that time. And everything worked out for the best. I have no one telling me to do this or that now. I’m my own boss. And with RED, I’m giving athletes and other celebrities the kind of representation I always wanted but never got.”

 

Harry was nodding along while scribbling furiously in his notebook. Liam looked at Zayn who gave Liam a first smile in a long time. Liam felt a little breathless at the boy’s smile and he grinned back at him. He felt dizzy and drunk from this boy’s smile alone. He hadn’t felt like this in a long time and it was electrifying.

 

“What’s the meaning behind the name RED? Does the colour RED signify something important to you?” Harry asked.

 

“Very simple really. Red had always been my favourite colour. Red is the colour of want, need, desire, anger, life, love, courageousness and new beginnings. Think about it. When you think of any of those emotions or feelings you see the colour red. That’s why I also named my new nightclub Red. That club is my baby just like my management company.” Liam drained the rest of his coffee as he answered Harry.

 

“You said ‘had always been my favourite colour’. You used past tense. Is it not your favourite colour anymore?” Harry asked jokingly.

 

“I think not. I think my new favourite colour is Hazel.” Liam looked up and right into Zayn’s eyes who inhaled deeply.

 

“Hazel like expensive scotch with swirls of caramel and flecks of gold and green. The kind that takes your breath away.” Liam said seriously while looking dead straight into Zayn’s eyes who sat absolutely still looking shocked. Zayn slowly turned and looked behind himself as if he was checking to see who Liam was gazing so intensely at. Then realizing that yet again it was him, he blushed and lowered his eyes biting his lip nervously while twisting his fingers in his lap.

 

At this point Harry was slowly turning his head back and forth between Zayn and Liam and seeing how Liam was looking at Zayn like he wanted to eat him, and Zayn looking like he might pass out, he finally realized what was happening. Harry bit back a grin and cleared his throat.

 

“It’s been serious questions for so long can I ask you something fun?” Harry gave Liam a cheeky grin.

 

“I’m always up for that,” Liam smirked back at Harry.

 

“What are you like as a boyfriend? You’ve been famous for dating so many Victoria Secret’s models, that one Italian actress Felicite or something, that French male model Adrian and so many beautiful people. You always make these gorgeous power couples that the media eats up but what are you like behind closed doors? Are you sweet and romantic or are you about playing out the playboy image you’ve conceived? What are you like in bed?” Harry leaned forward resting his chin on his hands. Zayn looked at Harry shocked and pinched his thigh. Harry only swatted Zayn’s hand away.

 

“Not holding back are you huh?” Liam chuckled. Harry shook his head and Liam ran his hand through his hair. Liam wasn’t sure what to say. It was true that he always went all out with whoever he was dating. Keeping the romance sky-high and the sex mind-blowing, consistent and destructive till he got bored of his partners. Then it was someone new and the rush would start fresh until it died out again. But that wasn’t a pleasing answer because saying that would prove Ameera’s notion of him being ‘a bit of a man-slut.’

 

“I’m probably an all-rounder in every category but you’d have to experience it to know wouldn’t you,” Liam winked at Harry then gave Zayn a wolfish smile who looked taken aback.

 

“Oh come on that’s not an answer! You’re always seen with these different people and most of them seem completely infatuated with you. You must be doing something right in the bedroom? Can you at least tell me if you have any kinks or if your ex’s had any kinks? My blog readers would love to know. A lot of them think you might have a daddy kink,” Harry said with a smirk and Liam burst out laughing.

 

Zayn choked on his latte and ended up spilling it on the table and his lap. He jumped up coughing as Liam and Harry both stopped laughing to look at him.

 

“ZayZay! You okay? Did you burn yourself?” Harry asked jumping up.

 

“N-no.. I fuck I didn’t I have to- bathroom.” Zayn stammered out and ran off towards where the bathroom probably was without looking back.

 

“Is he okay?” Liam asked amused looking after where Zayn had gone.

 

“He’ll be okay. ZayZay’s innocent ears were probably not expecting my daddy kink question.” Harry chuckled.

 

“ZayZay. That’s cute.” Liam said as Harry started to wipe up Zayn’s spilled latte with napkins.

 

“Oh that. Yeah that started when we were like babies. Me and Zayn have known each other since we were in our mother’s stomachs. Our families have been friends for ages, they’ve lived here in Brooklyn for so long. So when I first started talking, being a weirdo, I couldn’t pronounce Zayn properly. My ‘n’ would get fucked and I just called him Zay which became ZayZay and it’s stuck since then.” Harry tossed the napkins and fell back into his seat.

 

“Are you two..” Liam asked because even though he was sure they were nothing but friends he had to ask before some unnamed jealousy took form.

 

Harry laughed. “Believe me we get asked that by a lot of people since we both are gay and extremely close. Apparently, people don’t get that two gay guys can be just platonic friends. In fact me and Zayn are brothers. We’ve known each other since birth and it would be like incest if something happened. The idea of something between us cracks me up, seriously.” Harry finished.

 

Liam hummed as he tapped his foot idly on the floor.

 

“I just have to use the bathroom. I’ll be back.” Liam said getting up. Harry had gone back to writing in his notebook and only nodded at Liam.

 

Liam walked towards where he had seen Zayn disappear to. Coming up to the Men’s washroom he pushed the door open and stepped in. Looking over to the sinks he stopped. Zayn was holding his shirt over the sink and furiously wiping at the stain the coffee had left on his shirt. It was clearly doing him no good he was just creating an even bigger wet patch on the front but he seemed a little lost in his thoughts with his brow furrowed and his shaking hands rubbing at his shirt. Liam smiled and shook his head then walked over to the boy and stopped behind him.

 

“You know babe there’s no point in all that. That stain won’t leave till you actually wash your shirt out.” Liam said as he put a hand over Zayn’s to stop his furious scrubbing.

 

Zayn stilled and slowly looked up meeting Liam’s eyes in the mirror. Liam took the wet paper towels out of Zayn’s hands and tossed them in the direction of the garbage can where they landed perfectly. Zayn was still stood frozen in front of him. Liam ripped out some paper towels from the dispenser and reaching his hand around Zayn he patted his wet shirt to get it dry. He kept his eyes locked with Zayn in the mirror. He watched Zayn slowly swallow. After what seemed like the longest stretch of time, but had only been a few seconds, Zayn slowly stopped Liam’s hand. Liam could feel electricity run through his body from the point of contact where their skin touched.

 

“I can do it,” Zayn whispered trying to take the paper towel from Liam with shaking hands. Liam gently gripped Zayn’s shoulders and turned him around. Without replying Liam continued drying Zayn off and tilted his head down to look him in the eyes. Zayn’s eyelashes fluttered uncontrollably as he looked back at Liam nervously.

 

“You have the most beautiful fucking eyes. They were made to kill on sight and bring any man down to his knees. If you blinked those eyes at anyone and asked them for the world you’d get it before you finished speaking. I know I would. And probably more,” Liam murmured.  

 

“Y-you.. I… no that’s not true, they’re not that special” Zayn whispered and closed his eyes.

 

“You have no fucking idea how destructible you and those eyes are do you? That’s what’s so fucking endearing,” Liam smiled and finally stepped a little back. He tossed the paper towels away and Zayn opened his eyes.

 

“I don’t think we were able to save your shirt. And you will be wet now. Not that I’m complaining.” Liam winked and started walking towards the door.

 

“Do you speak completely in innuendos,” Zayn asked with a small smile as he turned back to wash his hands.

 

“Religiously. And Harry was right. I do have a kink. I have a kink for pretty hazel eyed boys who read Fitzgerald in their down time,” Liam said and once again Zayn was not prepared and ended up squirting his shirt with soap. He stared at Liam in the mirror looking completely flabbergasted with his mouth hanging open as Liam started laughing and walked out the door.

 

**

 

“Fuck everything.” Zayn muttered as the washroom door shut behind Liam and he looked down at his now soap covered shirt. Zayn was so beyond fucked and not even just at this moment where he stood with a soapy and wet shirt in a public bathroom. He was fucked in general. He was fucked ever since Liam rounded the corner in the library. He was fucked ever since Harry made him put his name down. He was fucked ever since Liam looked him in the eyes outside and said hazel was his favourite colour. Zayn wanted to die. His emotions were completely out of his control and latched onto the idea of Liam. He barely had known him for a few hours and he was crushing so damn hard on this man. This was worse than his short-lived crush on that asshole Drew from the school’s basketball team. Although Zayn realized he had a type for crushing on cocky, self-assured jock guys. But whatever this was, whatever this rush of feelings for Liam was. It was stronger than anything. These dizzying emotions were battling with his anxiety to become the number one thing consuming his mind and body. Zayn ran a hand down his face and let out a long sigh.

 

“This test was not needed Allah. I was doing just fine. I was dealing with life. Why drop this into my life? I can’t handle my emotions running so high. I can’t even respond to this man’s comments which I’m assuming are all flirtatious. What will I do?” Zayn whispered.

 

When Zayn had calmed his breathing, and fixed his appearance to the best of his ability he walked back out to where Liam and Harry were deep in conversation.

 

“…. and a lot of people love to tell me it’s stupid and that running a blog and YouTube channel is just dumb and won’t last long but I don’t see it that way. My YouTube channel has one million subscribers and my blog has close to a million readers too. I’ve worked hard on these two things for four years and I’m proud of them. Most people find them silly but I don’t. These things will benefit me in the future when I try to build a business. And as my mom says it’s very entrepreneurial. I earn good enough money from these two sources that I don’t need a part time job.” Zayn sat himself down beside Harry as he finished talking. Zayn knew Harry got a lot of shit from people at school for being a YouTuber and blogger but he was proud of his friend. Harry had made it big enough to be earning good money from it and he had amassed a dedicated following. Zayn knew Harry was proud of his accomplishments and he was proud of him for it. He squeezed Harry’s hand and smiled at him.

 

“That’s honestly amazing Harry. And you should be proud of yourself. You’ve done something a lot of these people would never be able to accomplish. Your success alone is a big fuck you to whoever doubted you. NYU will love it. That plus your internship with us will look brilliant on your resume. You’re an extremely intelligent kid. You’ll be going places.” Liam smiled at Harry and patted his hand.

 

“Thank you,” Harry blushed. “That means the world coming from you. You’re like my idol. Your success is what I look up to.”

 

“Don’t say that. You’re your own person and you’re going to do brilliantly as yourself. Trust me I have a feeling.” Liam grinned.

 

Zayn saw Ameera approach their table with an apologetic smile.

 

“Sorry boys but Liam has to get going if he wants to make it to his meeting. I pushed it back as much as I could but now we have to go,” She apologized.

 

“No that’s alright I’ve gotten so much material. This is good. Honestly I can’t thank you enough for taking time out of your day to do this for me,” Harry said as he packed his stuff.

 

“No worries. And here’s my card. It has my work email, and my work number if you have any more questions.” Liam slipped Harry a card and got up.

 

“You’ve probably been told this already but someone from human resources will be in touch with you guys about your internship details. Like when you start, where you’ll be working, who your supervisor will be, what your job entails etcetera so don’t sweat it.” Liam said looking directly at Zayn.

 

Zayn gave him a timid smile even though his brain was running a marathon of stress fueled negative thoughts.

 

“I’ll see you guys in two weeks then okay?” Liam said as he walked around the table. He shook Harry’s hand first and Zayn watched them panicking realizing he would have to do the same.

 

“Tell your mom thank you for the free coffee. She seems really lovely from what I saw of her,” Liam said.

 

“Thank you I raised her myself,” Harry replied cheekily which earned him a light punch on the arm from a laughing Liam.

 

“Zayn,” Liam said his words gliding around Zayn’s name like velvet. Like he was whispering some precious secret. He took Zayn’s hand and held it firmly. Noticing that Harry and Ameera were preoccupied he quickly leaned in towards Zayn’s ear and whispered,

 

“Don’t go about killing any people with those heart-breaking eyes of yours, keep that saved for only me baby,” Liam whispered into Zayn’s ear. Zayn thought he felt a touch of lips below his ear but Liam had already pulled back. Zayn realized he had been holding his breath for the past minute. Oxygen just wasn’t a welcome guest in his body.

 

“I’ll see you when I see you bambi eyes,” Liam winked at Zayn one last time then walked out the door to where his car was waiting. Ameera gave Zayn a nod and smile and followed Liam out.

 

“What was that about? Jesus Christ I could cut the sexual tension in here with a knife,” Harry said grinning.

 

Zayn whirled around and smacked Harry on the chest.

 

“This is all your fucking fault!” Zayn accused him.

 

“OW! How is it my fault?” Harry asked confused.

 

“You were born that’s how it’s your fault!” Zayn hissed at him “I should have just become best friends with Melissa DeBartolo in kindergarten when she tried to force me to, at least I wouldn’t be here!” Zayn cried out.

 

“First of all if you did become friends with her you would currently be a member of her Sci-Fi Fantasy BDSM club… and seriously ZayZay what the fuck? Are you okay?” Harry looked at the frazzled state Zayn was in feeling concerned.

 

“I-I’m” Zayn could feel the anxiety kicking in.

 

Harry quickly sat down on a chair and pulled Zayn down into his lap. Zayn tucked his face into Harry’s neck who hugged Zayn tightly.

 

“Remember to breathe babe. Like the counsellor taught you yeah?” Harry said soothingly as he rubbed Zayn’s back. Zayn nodded but stayed with his face tucked in to Harry’s chest.

 

“Harry…” Zayn whispered.

 

“Yeah babe,” Harry asked.

 

“He makes me feel some type of way. Everything he says or does or the way he looks at me makes me feel like I’m on fire. I don’t even really know him but I’m pretty sure this is how I die.” Zayn groaned and hid his face further in Harry’s chest.

 

“You might actually die. I mean considering the fact that he looks at you like he wants to devour you, he might actually fuck you to death. Well, that is if your virgin ass ever decides to get that far,” Harry grinned down at Zayn.

 

“Shut up! God I fucking hate you!” Zayn groaned and getting up he stormed out of the coffee shop.

 

“Text me Zaynie! We have to make plans for Graduation day!” Harry yelled after Zayn.

 

Zayn walked the few blocks from the café to his house barely keeping himself together. When he crossed through the front door and hurried towards the stairs he heard his name being called.

 

“Zayn! Beta what are you doing home so early I thought you had plans with Harry?” his mom asked from where her and Zayn’s dad were having tea while watching TV.

 

“Nothing. I just realized I hate Harry,” Zayn frowned.

 

His dad chuckled and set his cup down. “So will you two be fighting for one hour or one week this time?”

 

Zayn glared at his parents and ran up the stairs to his room and threw himself face first onto his bed. He groaned and thumped his head multiple times on the bed. He felt his phone buzz and pulled it out to see a text from Harry. What he saw when he opened it made him choke on his own breath and hit his head on the headboard. Zayn sat up rubbing his head while he started helplessly at the image of Liam in nothing but white Calvin Klein briefs sprawled across a bed covered in black sheets with his thumb hooked into the band of the briefs pulling them down to show his v-line and the trail of hair disappearing down. The picture was professional so it had to be a photo shoot. Scrolling down Zayn saw the accompanying text from Harry.

 

‘If your cute ass ever decides to throw out your virginity pact and get under this fine ass man PLEASE call him daddy in bed and see how he responds because my research was left incomplete.’ The text was followed by the tongue, three water drops and eggplant emojis.

 

Zayn groaned feeling himself start to get aroused. He threw away his phone and fell back onto his bed. Staring up at his white ceiling he let out a deep sigh,

 

“I’m so beyond fucked.”

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I know it might have seemed really wordy but it is the first and introductory chapter. I wanted to get alot of things out of the way. It is my first fic and I am a little scared but please let me know what you thought in the comments. Or if you like you can drop by my tumblr or twitter to ask any questions or leave me your thoughts:
> 
> Tumblr: http://zaynsbambieyes.tumblr.com/
> 
> Twitter: @cartierandroses


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all :) Here's the second chapter. It was originally going to be two separate chapters but I finished it so quickly I decided to upload it as one long chapter. Thank you all so so SO much for leaving kudos and such sweet comments on the first chapter. It blows my mind reading such kind words. This chapter is mostly Zayn's POV it only switches to Liam's twice just because a lot of the incidents were centred around Zayn's emotions. Also despite editing it multiple times sometimes I don't see a tiny spelling error so don't mind those. Also when I describe the club you may notice it sounds similar to the drabble but that's because this is where the club is actually introduced and the description in the drabble was taken from here to give you all an idea. I hope you enjoy it! :) 
> 
> P.S. I do throw in a couple words in urdu which I will translate in the end notes and the upcoming chapters might have even more words which I will always translate. Being Pakistani myself I really wanted to bring in that aspect of Zayn's character since he is Pakistani himself. So any references to urdu words or culture/religion will always be translated in the end notes. 
> 
> ENJOY :)

“Yaser!! Yaser stop you’re going to ruin the eggs that way! They’re going to be burnt to a crisp if you keep doing that.”

 

Zayn blinked his eyes open, awakening to the sounds of his mom laughing and yelling at his dad downstairs in the kitchen.

 

“Jaan I’m only trying to help you out a little! Just go sit down and I’ll take care of this. Your back was acting up last night and I don’t want you to strain yourself…” Yaser’s voice trailed off and Zayn could hear the tinkle of his mom’s soft laughter. His daadi always said Zayn got his laugh from his mom and that made him feel warm and happy because in his opinion his mom’s laugh was the most beautiful sound in this world. Zayn’s phone buzzed and he rolled over and picked it up from his night stand.

 

From HazzleDazzle: It’s D-Day baby!!!!

 

Zayn sighed and pulled his pillow over his head. Last night he had dreamt that everything that happened two weeks ago was just a silly dream and he had never run into Liam Payne in the library or gone to the café with him. Zayn dreamt he never met him and that his summer was spent as he originally planned it with re-watching Game of Thrones, learning to read Urdu books with his dad and trying to spend as much time as possible with his niece and nephew till he went off to NYU and was swept away into the life of a busy college student. But no. The universe apparently wanted to test out how malleable his anxiety levels were.

 

Blinking one eye open at to peek at his phone Zayn saw it was 6:45 a.m. His alarm had been set for 7 a.m. but as usual the Malik household commotion acted as pre-alarm alarm to wake him up. He realized he had an hour to get his shit together physically and mentally because they had to be at the new job by 9 a.m. sharp as the (frankly rude sounding) man who was their new supervisor had told him over the phone. As Zayn lay in bed thinking if it was plausible to call in sick on his first day, his phone started ringing. He picked it up and seeing Harry’s contact picture (a picture of Harry and him striking the titanic pose on their old high school’s roof because ‘it’s cute Zayn!’) he pressed the answer button.

 

“Morning Haz,” Zayn yawned and sat up trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

 

“You could at least reply to my text. I was thinking you might have skipped town just to avoid the job,” Harry said.  Zayn could hear Fifth Harmony playing in the back. Harry didn’t let a day go by where he didn’t listen to ‘Worth It’ as he got ready in the morning because he believed it got him into an ‘energized, self-loving, positive, and ready to fuck shit up’ mood which helped power him through the day.

 

Sometimes Zayn couldn’t believe the boy was real.

 

“As if Baba would let me do that. He was so happy with this internship I think I saw tears in his eyes as he hugged me. I’d rather die than disappoint him,” Zayn said as he dragged his feet over to his closet.

 

“You’ve got a good heart ZayZay. Just keep your parents in mind and maybe it’ll reduce all your anxiousness.” Harry said.

 

“Well the only two things in my mind are not letting down my parents and then trying not to push you into oncoming traffic for getting me into this mess,” Zayn grumbled.

 

“Mmmm yeah baby talk murder to me, it turns me on,” Harry said in a fake seductive voice.

 

“Tell me Harry, when Robert took your virginity did he also take away all semblance of normal human conversation and behaviour from you as well?” Zayn asked.

 

“It was Rick you little shit head,” Harry said.

 

“Oh whatever. All white boy names sound similar,” Zayn said as he tried pulling out a shirt and ended up pulling out half of his closet, landing underneath a pile of clothes.

 

“And for your information he took my entire soul with the way he fucked me. College boys are another level Zayn. I can’t wait till September. You should try it,” Harry sighed blissfully.

 

“No thanks I’m good,” Zayn said pulling out a navy-blue sweater from the pile.

 

“I know you’re waiting to have sex with the person you fall in love with and all that but maybe try having some fun this summer? There’s no harm in it. In fact, there is one person who looks like he’s very interested in fucking your intelligent little brain out,” Harry said slyly.

 

“Haz,” Zayn said warningly.

 

“What? I’m just saying. You have this insanely sexy, older, confident and might I say experienced man flirting with you. Are you not going to try and take advantage of this situation? If I were you I would have dropped to my knees and sucked his soul out in the café bathroom.” Harry said.

 

“Haz how many times do I have to tell you? He’s not actually interested in me. He’s just- just like teasing me or something, I dunno. Maybe he is flirting, maybe he wants to sleep with me once and then dispose of me but I- I can’t do that. I’m not gonna sleep with somebody for the first time just for fun and then possibly be disregarded after. I want the person to genuinely like me.” Zayn felt a tugging in his heart. Liam was- well perfect. And Zayn felt below average on most days. He didn’t have a shot with Liam and he didn’t want to kid himself. The man may have been relentlessly flirting with Zayn but he would never feel anything further or want a committed relationship like Zayn dreamed of having with someone. Zayn was already crushing so hard and he did not want to get his hopes up by any means.

 

“And besides Haz, he’s the CEO of this company. He’s our boss’s boss. Like top of the food chain. It’s unprofessional to be involved in any way with your boss,” Zayn stated.

 

“You’re so boring babe! If I were you I would get him to fuck me in his office, spread across his desk,” Harry chuckled.

 

Zayn’s cheeks instantly heated up. Imagining himself spread across an expensive wooden desk, breathing shallowly, Liam above him leaning down with his hands pressed to the desk on either side of Zayn. With that damn smirk of his. Running his hand up Zayn’s thigh slowly, inching up…

 

“ZAYN!” Harry yelled from the other end of the phone.

 

“Wh-what? I’m here,” Zayn said shakily.

 

“Imagining him, aren’t you?” Harry giggled. “Sorry all jokes aside babe. I was saying that I’m just teasing you. I respect every decision of yours and whatever you want to do. I’m only kidding. I love you and if anyone not even just Liam fucks with your feelings I’ll cut their dick off.” Harry announced seriously.

 

“Thanks Hazzle. I love you so much,” Zayn grinned.

 

“Always sweet cheeks. I have to finish getting ready and I’ll be at your place in about an hour and we can catch the subway together. I know you probably need someone with you,” Harry said.

 

Zayn smiled. Sometimes without even having to say anything Harry knew exactly what he needed. His anxiety could get the best of him sometimes but Harry was always there to hold his hand through it all.

 

“See you Haz. I love you.”

 

“Love you ZayZay.”

 

Zayn put his phone down and took a deep breath. He needed to start getting ready if he wanted to be there on time. And on time for Zayn was at least 15 minutes early so he could avoid awkward run ins that occurred with being late. He looked down at the pile of clothes and groaned.

 

_“You can wear anything as long as it’s formal or semi-formal. This is a professional environment and we want you to dress professionally.”_

_Zayn listened to the instructions his new boss (more like supervisor) was telling him. The man seemed extremely uptight and strict. Just listening to him list off the do’s and don’ts of the job made Zayn uneasy. This Mr. Duvall seemed like he ran a tight ship and Zayn sensed he wouldn’t take any kind of bullshit._

_“And Mr. Malik I know you high school kids don’t care much for punctuality but If I don’t see you 9 am sharp every day I will not hesitate in removing you from the internship. I only give you one freebie as things can go wrong sometimes but that is it. Nothing more than that.”_

_“Understood,” Zayn had said already worrying when nothing had happened yet._

Understandably Zayn would go out of his way to get there early to avoid giving that arrogant sounding man a chance to hate him or throw him out of the job. Not wanting to waste any more precious time Zayn found himself a decent enough semi-formal outfit and rushed out of his room to shower and change.

 

After Zayn had finished showering and getting ready, which involved ten minutes of fussing his hair into place and then seven minutes of a panic induced search looking for his glasses which then to his annoyance he found sitting under his bed, he ran down the stairs to the kitchen. He walked in on his mom siting on the kitchen table with a mug of tea in her hand and his dad beside her leaning over to look at something she was holding.

 

“Beta you’re awake,” Tricia smiled at Zayn as he walked in.

 

“Morning,” Zayn said and kissed both his parents on the cheek then walked over to the fridge to pull out orange juice.

 

“I printed off some of the pictures from your graduation and I was just showing your dad. Look how cute you look!” Tricia was smiling fondly at the pictures.

 

Zayn walked over to his mom and leaning over her shoulder he looked at the pictures she held. Admittedly it was a cute picture. It was after Zayn had walked off the stage with his diploma and both his parents had wrapped him in a hug with tears of joy and his sister Doniya had captured the moment. The day turned out to be one of the best days of his life. He survived without having any panic attacks and he had managed to walk across the stage without tripping over which he counted as a plus. When his principal had said his name amongst the few who had graduated with honours, he had seen his Mom wipe a tear and that had made him realize how these past four years had all been worth it. Later when he had found Harry, they had hugged for five minutes straight just repeating ‘we did it’ back and forth between each other.

 

“Put this one over on the fireplace I really love it,” Yaser smiled at the picture.

 

“You sure you want to do that? Waliyha already thinks you love me and Doniya more than her and putting a picture of me over the fireplace will only increase her annoyance.” Zayn smiled and sat down to eat some toast.

 

“She’s just being silly. Most of the pictures up around the house are of her. The girl doesn’t see how spoiled she is by your Baba,” Tricia got up to bring over some eggs to Zayn who quickly waved them away.

 

“No Maa I can’t. I’m very jittery. I can’t eat too much. This is enough.” Zayn pointed to his sad piece of toast.

 

“Did you take your medication?” Yaser asked seriously.

 

“Yes Baba,” Zayn mumbled feeling embarrassed whenever his parents babied him to take his anxiety medication.

 

“Don’t be nervous meri jaan _._ You’re going to do wonderful at this job and your new boss will be thanking his lucky stars that they hired you,” Tricia said as she stroked his hair.

 

“You’re an intelligent and very capable boy Zayn. Everyone over there will see that soon enough. Just remember to take deep breaths if you feel anxious and as soon as you feel overwhelmed stop what you’re doing and take a moment to calm yourself down okay?” Yaser said as he patted Zayn’s hand.

 

“Thanks Baba. Thanks Maa. I hope the universe is on my side today. I mean I wore my lucky sweater and everything,” Zayn joked as he bit into his toast.

 

“I thought your lucky sweater was the blue one I gave you for your birthday 2 years ago?” Tricia cocked her head looking at Zayn’s red sweater. “This one is red.”  
  
Zayn’s eyes widened and he felt a slight blush arise to his cheeks. He stuffed his mouth with the bread hoping his mom would see he had his mouth full and not demand an answer. But Tricia just stood there with her hand on her hip waiting for Zayn to finish swallowing.

 

“I- yeah I mean that one is lucky for me. But red is my favourite colour so I thought I would channel some luck by wearing this.” Zayn stammered his way through his response.

 

“Your favourite colour is green.” Yaser said matter-of-factly.  

 

The next few seconds of silence were one of the longest and most torturous moments of Zayn’s life. When he heard the doorbell ring he bolted up and ran to the front door relieved at the interruption.

 

“ZayZay!” Harry greeted cheerily. He was wearing a black and white striped button down with black pants and of course, since he was Harry after all, he had completed the look with a purple hat and sunglasses.

 

“You look good Hazzle,” Zayn smiled at his friend letting him in.

 

“Thanks boo you look cute yourself,” Harry pinched Zayn’s cheek then walked into the kitchen.

 

“Morning!” Harry yelled going into the kitchen as Zayn followed him.

 

“Good morning honey. Look at you all ready for the first day on the job,” Tricia smiled at Harry.

 

“Dressed to impress as always you know me Tricia,” Harry grinned and pecked Tricia’s cheek and grabbed an apple from the fruit basket.

 

“Your charm alone can win the hearts of millions Harry. What’s a few office folk?” Yaser chuckled.

 

“Thanks papa bear,” Harry smiled and hugged Yaser from behind who reached up and patted Harry’s cheek.

 

“Okay Harry we really have to go,” Zayn said glancing at the clock and seeing they were five minutes behind the schedule he had set out in his mind. If they were delayed at all and had to walk in late, Zayn knew his mind would crumble.

 

“We have time,” Harry said as he picked up the graduation pictures from where Tricia had left them and started flipping through them.

 

“No Haz. Please. I’m five minutes behind,” Zayn said in a pleading tone as he rushed towards the door to look for his shoes.

 

Zayn could hear silence from the kitchen and he knew his parents and Harry were having a silent conversation. He sighed. He hated how concerned they got whenever he got a little anxious. He didn’t want to be a burden on them and cause them undue stress when they had so many of their own things to be concerned about. But with his parents and Harry acting as his third parent, all three of them babied Zayn sometimes. He loved them for it but it just made him feel incompetent and foolish.

 

“Of course babe. We can go now,” Harry came out of the kitchen smiling, followed by Zayn’s parents.  

 

“Jaan remember what we said in the kitchen and also don’t forget to eat lunch.” Tricia sent him a warning look.

 

“Yes Maa,” Zayn said absently as he grabbed his messenger bag from the hallway table and checked to make sure he had everything he needed.

 

“We love you Zayn and we’re so proud of you for going through with this,” Yaser said.

 

Zayn turned around and smiled at his parents. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have such unconditional love and support from his family. The fact that they understood how his mind worked sometimes and supported every decision he made was overwhelming. It humbled him and made him thank Allah in every prayer for giving him such a loving family.

 

“Khuda Hafiz Maa Baba.” Zayn leaned up and kissed their cheeks.

 

“Khuda Hafiz beta.” They said in turn.

 

Zayn turned and walked out the door followed by Harry. Taking a deep breath he started down the street.

 

“We’re in this together Zayn. I’m gonna be here every step of the way.” Harry said as he squeezed Zayn’s hand.

 

“I know Haz. Let’s just hope it all goes well.” Zayn said giving Harry a nervous smile.

 

It doesn’t.

 

**

 

“You said it was the right subway!” Zayn said hysterically as he and Harry ran down the busy Manhattan streets. It was 9:15 a.m. and they were late and so screwed.

 

“No I said I THINK it’s the right subway. I wasn’t sure,” Harry panted beside Zayn.

 

“God oh God. Oh God. Ya Allah. We’re dead.” Zayn said panicking. “Mr. Duvall made a big deal about punctuality on the phone Harry. He said he would throw us out if we were late and now, now we have to walk in late in front of everyone and they’ll all stare at us and judge us and-“ Zayn was already picturing it. There was no way to come back from this. This was a scathing and failed situation.

 

“Well it’s the first day and shit happens. He needs to understand that. I’ll deal with him if he tries to create problems Zayn. And if he still acts like an ass we’ll find your man and see what he can do for us. He is after all the CEO and owns Duvall’s ass.”

 

Zayn stopped in the middle of the street and pulled Harry to a stop while staring at him incredulously.

 

“Are you for real Harry? We’re about to be fired on the first day and that’s all you can think of?” Zayn said glaring at Harry.

 

“Yes. Always. And don’t think I didn’t notice your sly ass wearing a red sweater.” Harry grinned and started sprinting again as Zayn stared open mouthed then ran after Harry.

 

 

 

“I think this is it,” Zayn panted looking up at 50 story high building they had stopped in front of.

 

“No shit Sherlock,” Harry pointed up at the ‘PAYNE CORPORATION’ and ‘RED’ signs.

 

Zayn shoved Harry then ran into the lobby. He came to a stop in front of the security barriers where he saw people tapping their access cards to be let through. They had been mailed their access cards a week ago along with other necessary paperwork.

 

“RED headquarters are on the 45th floor.” Harry came to a stop behind Zayn brandishing his access card.

 

“Right,” Zayn said and fumbled in his bag for his card. After locating it he pulled it out and tapped it on the card reader. Harry did the same and they both ran over to the elevators.

 

Zayn tapped his foot anxiously as they stood amongst a group of people waiting or the elevators. Glancing at his old and trustworthy watch that his dad had given to him, Zayn saw it was 9:25 a.m. He could feel bile rise up in his throat. This was the nightmare he had been hoping to avoid the past two weeks. He had planned today out perfectly hoping to get here early and not end up on his new boss’ bad side. But of course, his entire life was one big joke. His tombstone would one day read ‘Here lies Zayn Malik a victim of life’s endless pranks that were in no way humorous but in fact deadly.’ Hearing the elevator ping he looked up and saw people start to enter. Feeling a tug on his hand he let Harry lead him in.

 

“Breathe babe. Breathe,” Harry whispered from beside him.

 

Zayn nodded quickly but blinked back tears and bit his lip to stop the quivering. He could eventually cope with every symptom of anxiety but he could never handle it when he got to the verge of crying. That just meant he was hitting a low he wouldn’t be able to get up from easily. He was having an outer body moment of trying to search for his long lost will to stay calm, when he felt the elevator stop. Looking up he saw they had reached the 45th floor. Taking a deep breath, he walked out on shaky legs.  

 

They had walked out into a gleaming and pristine office that was all sleek blacks and whites with a big sign reading RED situated right above a receptionist’s desk.

 

“Hi, we’re the new interns,” Harry had walked over to the receptionist’s desk and greeted her. “I’m so sorry that we’re a little late but where should we go?” Harry asked.

 

The woman glanced at the two of them taking in their slightly rumpled state and heavy breathing and frowned a little.

 

“Names?” she asked as she began to click away on her computer.

 

“Harry Styles and Zayn Malik,” Harry informed her as Zayn came to stand beside him.

 

“You’re a half hour late. Mr. Duvall won’t be too pleased,” She said tight-lipped although there was a hint of sympathy in her eyes.

 

“We’re so so sorry. We got on the wrong subway and-“ Harry began but her phone rang and she picked it up signalling Harry to wait. After murmuring on the phone, she looked back up at them and lowered the phone.

 

“You can head in. Go straight down and you should see a couple of conference rooms. Go into conference room one, Mr. Duvall is there having the welcome meeting with the other interns,” she said then went back to her phone call.

 

“Come on ZayZay,” Harry said and turned to walk past the receptionist towards where the rest of the office probably was. Zayn followed him robotically feeling a little detached because of his increased heart rate and light headedness.

 

They came to a stop in front of conference room one and stood still for a few moments. Zayn looked around nervously and could see a few people scattered around the office looking their way. As if they could sense the amount of fuck-up radiating off his body.

 

“Okay?” Harry asked while squeezing Zayn’s hand.

 

Zayn just nodded and squeezed Harry’s hand back. Harry knocked on the door then pushed it open. Stepping in they saw a man, who was standing at the front of the room, stop mid-speech to turn around and look at them. He regarded them with pursed lips and cold eyes.

 

“Ah. Mr. Malik and Mr. Styles I presume?” He asked.

 

“Yes we’re really sorry, we got on the wrong subway you see-” Harry was once again stopped mid-sentence by the man raising his hand.

 

“I don’t care. You’ve already wasted my time with this dramatic late entry. You should be aware that I told you about one late freebie being allowed and this was yours. Now take a seat.” He gestured towards the empty seats around the large table in the room.

 

Zayn could feel his hands start to tremble but he followed Harry on shaking legs as they sat down in two vacant chairs beside three other people already there.

 

“As I was saying before I was interrupted,” Mr. Duvall glanced at Zayn and Harry, “Your daily tasks may vary depending on whatever I need you to be working on but to give you a brief, I am the head of management for our level three clients which means they are our top priority or you can say ‘VIP’ clients. I have people working under me who handle each individual client but I oversee everything and then my job is to report back to my boss Mr. Payne. I usually supervise our interns every work term and I might ask you to assist one of my subordinates or carry out some tasks for me. But you all will get a variety of experience. Now can I ask you all to introduce yourselves a little,” He nodded his head at the boy nearest to him.

 

“My name’s Damian. I’m going into my second year at Columbia in September. I’m studying marketing and belong to the Beta Theta Pi fraternity. This is my second time applying for the internship here only to finally be accepted.” Damian had sandy-brown hair and blue eyes and his entire aura seemed to project the over-confident frat boy personality. Zayn caught his eye and looked away when the boy smiled at him.

 

“My name’s Serayah. I’m studying media and communications at NYU. I play on the women’s basketball team. This is my second summer interning here and I hope to come back here to work full time one day.” Serayah had a stunning smile and her relaxed posture showed how experienced and confident she was with this job. She tucked a strand of her curly black hair behind her ear and looked to the girl beside her.

 

“My name is Amanda. I just graduated high school a few weeks ago. I’m going to Columbia Business School in September. My dad is the senior lawyer for RED and I’ve always wanted to work here after hearing so much about it from him.” Amanda’s words and tone conveyed that she had probably acquired this job thanks to her dad and her too sweet smile seemed fake. She was twisting a strand of her blond hair around her finger as she gave Mr. Duvall an overly eager grin.

 

“Ahem. Next,” Mr. Duvall frowned at Amanda then turned to Harry.

 

“Harry Styles. Pleasure to meet you all. Going to NYU for business this coming September. I hail from Brooklyn and I got this internship when Mr. Payne came to my school to announce his new scholarship program and gave our school the chance to enter a draw for the internship. Oh, and I run a blog and YouTube channel.” Harry grinned at the others in the room not caring about the fact that Damian and Amanda were looking at him with scrunched brows after hearing of his ‘free internship.’ Serayah was the only one who smiled back encouragingly. Zayn was so engrossed in preparing himself for his turn he hadn’t realized every person in the room had turned to him. Harry nudged Zayn and he jolted up.

 

“Oh um. Zayn Malik. I- I’m going to NYU as well in September for pre-med. I got this internship the same way Harry did. We both won the draw.” Zayn hurried out while keeping his fists clenched. He did not like all this unwanted attention.

 

“Yay for NYU,” Serayah whispered from across the table and smiled at Zayn who returned it shyly.

 

“Thank you everyone,” Mr. Duvall said. “OK it is your first day and before I get into details of the job and what I expect you to do, I’m going to give you a little tour so you can get a feel for the office and see where everything is. Follow me.” He got up and pulled open the door. Amanda was on his heels following him out and asking Mr. Duvall pointless questions.

 

“Don’t mind him guys. He’s just very... particular about stuff. It’s your first day and being late on the first day should be okay. This is Manhattan, shit happens.” Serayah gave Zayn and Harry a kind smile and walked out the door as well.

 

“Thanks!” Harry said as he followed her out.

 

Zayn was the second last one to leave as Damian held the door open for him and flashed him a smile. Zayn gave a small smile back and followed everyone out the door. Mr. Duvall stood outside looking annoyed by Amanda’s chatter and when he saw everyone had arrived he raised a hand to quiet her.

 

“Ok so this way,” He walked past the other conference rooms and into the open space where multiple cubicles were scattered around and offices closed off by glass doors lined the walls.

 

“This is the main space where everyone works. RED is only situated on this floor as the rest of the building is different subdivisions of PAYNE CORPORATIONS. My office is this one,” He pointed at an office they had paused in front of that read ‘John Duvall.’

 

“This right here is where the interns work,” He walked into a large open room that had a long table in the middle surrounded by chairs. Floor to ceiling windows lined the opposite wall and filing cabinets ran along the sides. Every spot on the table was set up with a MacBook and stationery that said RED. Low dividers separated every seat on the table to give people privacy while working.

 

“This is where you guys will do all your work and will be spending most of the day unless I need you elsewhere,” Mr. Duvall waved a hand at the room looking slightly bored.

 

“The next room is our copy and printing room,” He lead all five of them to the next room where multiple printers and scanners were located.

 

“Then next we have the kitchen and break room,” He motioned to the next room but didn’t lead them in.

 

“Does he hate his job or is he just annoyed with us?” Harry whispered to Serayah who stood beside him and Zayn.

 

“He loves his job trust me. He’s just a little too obsessed and serious about it though. Everyone in this office is pretty relaxed but lucky us our supervisor is the only grouchy person on this floor,” Serayah whispered back. “Just do as he says and you’ll be fine. I’ve found it best not to argue with him.”

 

“And this is Mr. Payne’s office.“ Mr. Duvall was saying as they reached the end and were in front of frosted glass doors that read “Liam Payne. CEO.”

 

Amanda squealed. “Is he in there!” She tried to peak in through the windows.

 

“You’ve got competition ZayZay,” Harry snickered and Zayn pinched his arm.

 

“No he’s not in there. He doesn’t use this office much. His office is on the 50th floor since he is the CEO of RED and PAYNE COPORATIONS both, he resides on the top most floor. Occasionally when he comes down he sits in here.” Mr. Duvall was giving Amanda a sour look obviously displeased with her hyper attitude.

 

“Oh,” Amanda pouted. “Will we ever meet him?” She asked.

 

“Probably not. Mr. Payne is a very busy man young lady. Anyways now that you’ve seen all this let’s head back to the intern’s room. I have first day work for you all.” He spun on his heel and walked off expecting them all to follow.

 

“He’s so rude my god. I really do hope we see Liam Payne though otherwise most of this is pointless.” Amanda rolled her eyes and walked off.

 

“God who hired Serena Van der Woodsen,” Damian snorted. Zayn let out a giggle and Damian grinned at him. They followed everyone else back towards the intern’s room.

 

 

**

 

 

“No fuck no! Not Vegas again! It’s become boring and cliché! Find something better.”

 

Liam watched with an amused expression as his two best friends argued over the best place to have a bachelor party. Niall was looking frustrated as he tried to argue on Vegas being the best option while Tom counter-argued.

 

“Why not? Vegas is the official party city and Josh lives and breathes for that place. He’s celebrated his birthday over there for two years straight and he would be more than happy to see that we’ve set up a bachelor weekend for him there. Back me up Li.” Niall looked over at Liam.

 

Liam leaned back in his chair and sighed as he looked at the two other boys watching him patiently. He had come into work slightly hungover and wishing for a cup of coffee to magically appear when Niall and Tom had walked into his office arguing over the details of their friend Josh’s upcoming bachelor party. Liam loved these two idiots, despite their bickering, and that’s why after taking over the company he got his two best friends to come work for him. Niall was the head of marketing and PR for their international hotels and clubs while Tom was a junior lawyer on Liam’s legal team. Josh was the only one who didn’t work under the same roof as he had been Liam’s physiotherapist during his days of playing football and he still carried on with the same job.

 

“Sorry to rain on your parade Niall, but I’m with Tom. Vegas is so been there done that. If Josh is sacrificing himself to the dark side, we should give him a proper send off.” Liam said looking at Niall. He gave Liam a hurt look and Tom looked victorious.

 

“And what do you suggest? To go to Amsterdam and creep in the red-light district again? May I remind you how disastrous that was last time?” Niall asked.

 

“Please Niall. Who do you think I am?” Liam said. “I thought we could go to Ibiza.” Liam grinned at his friends and saw how they both sat up straight and Tom’s whole face lit up.

 

“Liam you fucking genius! Ibiza! Yes! Ibiza in the summer! It’s going to be epic. Josh will shit himself.” Tom launched himself out of his chair and came and wrapped his arms around Liam.

 

“Niall?” Liam asked.

 

Niall’s face broke out into a grin. “How could I ever doubt you Li? You know where to party and how to party.” Niall leaned over the table and gave Liam a fist bump.

 

“Now if you dickheads could fuck off and do your jobs I’ve got some shit to deal with. I’ll talk to you about the details tonight.” Liam said.

 

“Meet at the club at 7?” Niall asked on his way to the door.

 

“Sure Ni.” Liam waved him off and pressed his intercom to call his secretary.

 

“Yes Mr. Payne?” Rosie’s sweet voice came through.

 

“Rosie can you bring me a coffee and if you see Ameera in her office tell her to bring me the Herschel contract.” Liam said rubbing at his temples.

 

“Sure Mr. Payne. Anything to eat?” Rosie asked.

 

“No thank you and get Ameera please.” Liam said.

 

“Ms. Khan is actually not in her office. She had to go down to the 15th floor but when she comes back up I’ll let her know.” Rosie said.

 

“It’s fine Rosie I’ll just call her cell phone. Please bring me the coffee.” Liam leaned back picking his phone up and called Ameera.

 

“Yes Liam?” Ameera picked up on the first ring.

 

“Meemz when are you getting back? I need the Herschel contract. I have a meeting in an hour and I need to change a few things on it.” Liam said.

 

“I gave it back to you yesterday Liam.” Ameera said confused.

 

“No you didn’t.” Liam frowned.

 

“Yes I did. You were on your way down to RED for a meeting and I handed you the Herschel contract on your way.” Ameera reminded him.

 

“Ah Fuck. Yeah I remember now. I was in a hurry and left it in my office in RED right before the meeting and forgot to grab it on my way back.” Liam groaned. “Can you grab it on your way back up?”

 

“Sorry Li I’m deep in some mess down here. I won’t be leaving this room for like an hour. Can you get Rosie or Lesley to grab it?” Ameera asked apologetically.

 

“No the office is locked downstairs only you and I have the access code. It’s fine. I guess I’ll go grab it.” Liam sighed and got up.

 

Ameera laughed. “You act as if you have to walk a hundred miles to go grab it. The elevator will physically take your highness’ ass down.”

 

Liam grinned. “Shut up Meemz. I’m just a little hungover and tired. Alycia was back in town and we were out till 3 a.m. last night.”

 

“First of all, I do not need to hear about your romps with that airhead. And secondly she’s a socialite Liam. She doesn’t know what work nights are and that people actually get up before noon to make a living.” Ameera scoffed.

 

“It was worth it though.” Liam grinned thinking back to how Alycia had asked his driver to drive around the city for a half hour while she blew him in the back seat of his limo.

 

“Don’t want to know.” Ameera made a retching sound.

 

“When you’re done down there can you come straight to my office. I need to move around a few of my meetings next week because I might be going to Chicago to check out the progress on the new club.” Liam said as he opened his door and practically ran into Rosie who was holding his coffee.

 

“Sure. See ya in a bit.” Ameera shut the phone.

 

“Your coffee,” Rosie looked up at him with wide green eyes.

 

“Thanks Rosie but I’m actually heading down to RED to grab something just leave it on my desk I’ll drink it when I return.” Liam said.

 

Rosie nodded and entered his office to set the coffee down while Liam walked over to the elevators. When the elevator arrived, he entered and hit the button for the 45th floor and leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes for the short ride. When the elevator pinged arriving at the 45th floor he stepped out and was immediately greeted with the sound of phones ringing, people laughing and talking and laptops clicking. He secretly loved this floor the most. The 50th floor was always so quiet as it only housed his office, his secretaries manning their station and Ameera who had her office off to the side of Liam’s as she was his personal assistant. The rest was just an open lounge space and an unnecessarily large kitchen. There were 3 conference rooms up there as well that were used only during meetings he himself held, otherwise the rest happened on their respective floors. The floor for RED was a lively space and Liam felt his mood brighten whenever he was down here because in one year his small management company had grown so much and he was so proud of it.

 

“Mr. Payne!” the receptionist had noticed him and was looking at him with wide eyes. “Are you here for a meeting or to see Mr. Duvall or...” she trailed off while hovering her hand over the phone just waiting to see what Liam needed her to do.

 

“No none of that. I just forgot some contracts in my office down here and I’ve just come to collect them.” Liam gave her a smile which she returned and he walked down the hall towards the offices.

 

As Liam walked into the open room a couple of people noticed his arrival and immediately stopped what they were doing to look at him.

 

“Good morning Mr. Payne!” A chirpy red-head said as she grinned at him.

 

“Morning everyone please don’t mind me I’m just passing through to collect some stuff.” Liam said and carried on towards his office all the while receiving ‘good mornings’ and smiles from people.

 

Liam entered his office and went over to his desk. He started flipping through the minimal amount of files on his desk looking for his contract and finally found it underneath everything. He stood there flipping through it and when he briefly raised his head, his eyes glanced out the one-way window in his office, and he saw a flash of red that made his body freeze and his heart stop beating.  It was him. The sole visitor of his hazy dreams in the past two weeks, the owner of the hazel eyes that had been haunting him and distracting him for the past two weeks, the fuel to his fiery arousal these past two weeks.

 

“Bambi eyes,” Liam murmured as a grin spread on his face. Liam had forgotten today was the day Zayn would be starting his internship here. How the fuck could he have forgotten when he had been waiting so impatiently for this day? The minute he had driven away from the café two weeks ago he had started missing the boy, craving more of him.

 

_“You are so predictable and so obvious.” Ameera had smirked at him from across the back seat of the car._

_“Can you blame me?” Liam asked as if it was so obvious._

_“Not really. I mean the boy’s face is just unfair. Anyone who looks at him would feel like they’ve been done dirty by the universe. God put a lot of time and effort into creating that face,” She laughed._

_Liam grinned and thought about what hidden beauty could possibly lay under Zayn’s clothes. If his face was that painfully beautiful the rest of his body would simply be art. God, he wanted that boy._

_“But in two weeks time he’s going to be working for the company. So keep it in your pants because acting on all the desire I can see written over you face would be unprofessional.” Ameera reminded him._

_“Uh huh. And when have I ever listened to you?” Liam smirked at her._

_Ameera just shook her head at him and smacked him on the shoulder._

Nothing had changed. One look at the boy two weeks later and Liam felt like a dying man in the desert seeing an oasis. He grabbed his contract and exited his office walking over to where he had seen Zayn. Liam stopped at the doorway to what he realized was the office kitchen and saw Zayn was the only one inside with his back to Liam. Liam just leaned against the doorframe and admired the boy from behind. His lithe form was dressed in a blood-red sweater with the collar of a white shirt peeking out from underneath and black form fitting jeans. Liam’s eyes roamed down his body taking him in with unhidden desire. The boy’s legs were lean and looked exquisite in his skinny jeans. And his ass was small but wonderful. Liam had a throbbing want to rip the boy’s clothes off and explore his body with his tongue. It was at that point Zayn turned around in the middle of drinking from a water bottle and spotted Liam. His eyes widened comically as his mouth fell open and some of the water he was in the middle of drinking spilled onto the front of his sweater. Zayn spluttered looking at Liam and down at his sweater as his face turned a beautiful red and he stood there frozen.

 

“Is your automatic reaction upon seeing me to get yourself wet? ‘Cus I kind of like it.” Liam smirked and moved into the room towards Zayn.

 

“Is yours to throw out sexual innuendos.” Zayn blurted then clamped a hand over his mouth. “Shit no sorry! I- I didn’t mean that Liam no I mean Mr. Liam fuck sorry! Payne, Mr. Payne.” Zayn was stammering as he walked backwards feeling embarrassed.

 

Liam could see the boy was having a little bit of a freak-out as his body shook slightly and he held onto the counter behind him looking at Liam with wide eyes.

 

“Liam is fine Zayn.” Liam said and stopped in front of him.

 

Zayn’s glasses were a little crooked so Liam moved forward and slowly slid them off Zayn’s face. He looked into those deadly eyes again as Zayn bit his lip and gazed back at Liam looking unsure. Liam reached his hand up and stroked a fallen strand of Zayn’s hair off his face. Zayn’s eyes closed at the contact and as Liam lowered his hand he traced the back of his finger along Zayn’s soft cheek. Zayn’s eyelashes stated fluttering across his cheekbones at the unexpected gentle touch. Liam glanced down at the boy’s invitingly red lips and felt an aching urge to lick into the boy’s mouth and see if he tasted as sweet as he looked. Liam smiled and brought the glasses back up and slid them onto Zayn’s face properly. Zayn opened his eyes again and leaned up to touch his glasses self-consciously.

 

“They’re cute.” Liam grinned at Zayn who reddened but had a small smile on his face.

 

“I’m all wet again and Mr. Duval will probably get mad if I walk back into the office like this,” Zayn whispered glancing down at his sweater.

 

“You have a shirt underneath don’t you. That one is probably fine.” Liam said without taking his eyes off of Zayn’s face. Although it had only been two weeks, it felt like centuries had passed since he had last gazed into these golden eyes.

 

“I- I guess.” Zayn said then looked at Liam for a few seconds. Sensing that Liam wasn’t about to budge, Zayn took of his glasses and put them aside, then reached down and grabbed the hem of his sweater and pulled it up. When he had pulled the sweater off, his hair had gotten a little fucked up and he quickly reached up to fix it.

 

Liam felt an unhealthy amount of fond rush through his body. As Zayn patted his hair and gave Liam a timid smile with pink cheeks, Liam swore he felt like his heart would burst.

 

“Do I look crazy?” Zayn asked worriedly.

 

“The complete opposite. You look-“ Liam stopped. What he wanted to say was that Zayn looked like a mixture of freshly-fucked out and utterly adorable but he didn’t want to give the boy a stroke. “Perfect.” Liam finished and grinned at Zayn.

 

“Mr. Malik you have been gone for over- Mr. Payne!” Mr. Duvall looked a little stunned as he came into the kitchen and stopped.

 

Liam felt irate at the interruption but turned back and gave the man a brief smile.

 

“John.”

 

Truth be told Liam really disliked the man. He was way too serious and anal about the little things and seemed to take the little bit of authority he held to his head. But Liam could see that Duvall had put every bit of his soul into RED and worked tirelessly to keep everything in order, so he put up with the man.

 

“I didn’t know you would be coming in today. Did you come down to see me?” Mr. Duvall asked then frowned at Zayn who stood frozen behind Liam with his eyes fixed to the ground.

 

“No I just came to grab something from my office.” Liam picked up the papers he had set down.

 

“Ok. I hope Mr. Malik isn’t bothering you. Some of these interns have a bit of celebrity worship for you-“

 

“He’s not bothering me, I’m the one that approached him.” Liam said in a steely tone practically glaring at Duvall.

 

“Oh.” Duvall looked at a loss of words as he probably tried to figure out why Liam would possibly seek Zayn out.

 

“Ok well. When you’re done with whatever you needed him for could you send him back to the office? I’ve got to appoint him his work.” Duvall said still looking a little suspicious.

 

“Will do John.” Liam said and rolled his eyes as Duvall slowly backed out.

 

“That uptight fuck needs a good lay.” Liam muttered then turned back to Zayn who looked horrified.

 

“H-he already has problems with me because me and Harry got here late, and now he thinks I’m seeking you out to bother you. I-I “ Zayn voice was a little panicked and he had his fists clenched tightly into where he gripped his red sweater.

 

“Zayn.” Liam took both of Zayn’s smaller hands into his bigger one. “He can’t do anything to you. You hear me? He may act like he runs this place but it’s my company. I’m his boss. If he starts any shit with you or tries to give you grief let me know. I’ll fire him faster than he realizes what hit him.” Liam gazed at Zayn’s face and saw shock cross over the boy’s face.

 

“You wouldn’t…. He’s worked here for years… I’m just…” Zayn was speechless.

 

“You have no idea.” Liam kept staring at Zayn brazenly as Zayn ducked his head. “You’re unreal. The things you do to me…” Liam sighed and touched Zayn’s face gently then he smiled and backed away.

 

“I think I’ll let you get back to work. I have to get going as well as much I hate to leave. But Zayn?”  Zayn looked at Liam.

 

“When you’re done for the day come up to my office. Bring Harry too. I have something for you.” Liam grinned at Zayn’s confused face and started towards the door.

 

“I’m on the 50th floor just tell my secretary your name and that I called you up. Alright?” Liam stopped at the door and Zayn nodded.

 

“See you bambi eyes. Oh and I love the red.” Liam smirked at Zayn and walked away just as he saw the boy turn an even deeper crimson colour.

 

**

 

Zayn walked back into the office in a hazy state, unsure of what had just happened. His body was tingling at every spot Liam had touched him and his heart was thudding uncontrollably. The first time he’d met Liam the man had thrown his world off balance and left Zayn with confusing and overwhelming emotions. After seeing him for the second time today Zayn felt like calling his feelings a crush was doing them injustice. This was more than that. He felt like he was free falling into a pit of ecstasy.

 

“Thank you for finding the time to join us again Mr. Malik,” Mr. Duvall’s bitter tone broke through Zayn’s stream of thoughts.

 

Zayn felt a rush of embarrassment as everyone else in the room glanced up at him.

 

“I’m sorry.” Zayn said in a small voice and hurried back to his spot beside Harry.

 

Harry sent Zayn a look that read ‘you okay?’ to which Zayn nodded.

 

“Are you ready to work now?” Duvall looked at Zayn with a cold expression.

 

“Yes of course. I’m sorry.” Zayn said.

 

“Alright. Well since today is your first day and I have a lot of work to get back to, I am going to leave you all here with these.” He pulled open a couple of drawers filled with an insane amount of files and papers.

 

“Organize all these files into their respective categories making sure everything is alphabetized.” He pointed at the filing cabinets lining the walls. “I am going back to my office to take care of some things but I will be back to check up on you soon. For your first day that should be a pretty mellow job and starting tomorrow you will start getting very specific and more difficult tasks. Good Luck.” He walked out of the intern’s room and everyone let out a collective breath.

 

“God what a tight ass.” Damian said.

 

“He’s always like that. It never gets better,” Serayah let out a laugh.

 

“Where did you disappear to ZayZay?” Harry asked Zayn in a low voice while everyone else moved over to the files and started pulling them out.  

 

“While I was getting a drink of water Liam came into the kitchen.” Zayn whispered.

 

Harry gasped so loudly the other three looked at them suspiciously. Zayn quickly pulled Harry back giving him a look.

 

“What happened?” Harry asked excitedly.

 

“He got me wet again,” Zayn whispered.

 

“I bet he did.” Harry smirked.

 

“Shut up! Not like that you perv. He surprised me and I spilled water on myself.” Zayn said reliving the embarrassing moment in his head.

 

“You’re a class act Zaynie. You manage to screw up every time he’s around.” Harry giggled. “Did he pat you dry again?” Harry wiggled his eyebrows.

 

“Why do I tell you anything? And no, he didn’t. But he did say that after we finish here today, me and you should go up to his office because he has something for us.” Zayn said confused.

 

“What could it be? I mean for me, because we all know for you it’s his dick.” Harry teased.

 

Zayn smacked Harry so hard the others in the room turned around again looking at them with strange expressions.

 

“Are you Brooklyn boys going to whisper in the corner all day or are you going to help out?” Amanda asked with one eyebrow raised.

 

“Sorry.” Zayn hurried over to help them out followed by a giggling Harry.

 

**

 

It was around five p.m. when they had finally finished for the day, and Mr. Duvall had given them all another lecture about punctuality and proper work ethics, that they were free to leave.

 

“I feel like we’ve been here for so long that the outside world doesn’t exist anymore. We might be walking out into a wasteland.” Damian joked.

 

“Do you guys want to go grab drinks?” Serayah asked them all.

 

“I’m up for it.” Amanda said.

 

“And I’m assuming you have a fake I.D.?” Serayah asked to which Amanda grinned and nodded.

 

“Let’s go to Red. In honour of starting our first day here at RED we should go to Liam Payne’s new nightclub, the other Red.” Damian said.

 

“The lines are always so damn long,” Serayah said. “But if we go now maybe we could get in. Zayn, Harry you guys coming?” She asked looking over to the two boys.

 

“Ahh sure. We’d love to. But can we meet you guys there? Me and Zayn have to pick something up first.” Harry said.

 

“Sure. You have our numbers, hit any one of us up when you reach there.”

 

In the midst of talking, they had all reached the elevators and one had just opened up.

 

“Uh you guys take this one me and Harry will grab the next one.” Zayn pulled Harry back and the other three looked at them confused.

 

“Why are you not going down as well?” Amanda asked suspiciously.

 

“No I just forgot I have to use the bathroom first so you go ahead.” Zayn hurried out hoping they would buy it while Harry just looked at him confused.

 

“Ok.. well, see you at the club.” Serayah said as the doors slid shut.

 

“Why are you acting like a crazy person?” Harry inquired.

 

“I don’t want them to know we’re going to the 50th floor. People start asking questions and then I would have to explain how we know Liam and it’s all a bit too much.” Zayn said as he hit the up button.

 

“You worry too much babe. You really need to stop giving two fucks about others.” Harry said pulling Zayn into a hug.

 

“I can only hope.” Zayn said.

 

 

When they got to the top floor and walked out, Zayn let out an involuntary gasp at how beautiful it was. Expensive looking grey and white marbled floors, extremely high ceilings with white beams running across giving it a sleek and contemporary look. Everything was pristinely white. All around the top floor were floor to ceiling windows letting in natural light. There was nobody around as Zayn took a quick look.

 

“I think it’s this way.” Harry led the way turning and walking around a wall where they entered an open space. Selections of sofas were scattered on one side and a long sleek white counter ran along the other side behind which two women sat typing away on their computers. Hearing footsteps, the green-eyed brunette woman looked up at them.

 

“May I help you?” She asked in a sweet voice.

 

“Um. Li- Mr. Payne told us to come meet him in his office. He said he would be expecting us? My name is Zayn Malik.” Zayn said hesitantly.

 

A flash of recognition flashed through the woman’s eyes and she smiled at them.

 

“Of course. Mr. Payne told me. Unfortunately, he had to leave as an urgent matter came up but he told me to give you his deepest apologies.” The woman smiled at them apologetically.

 

“Oh.” Zayn said deflating. Despite the amount of nervousness he felt around Liam he had secretly been looking forward to seeing him again.

 

“But he left something for you.” She picked up something from her desk and put it on top of the counter. Zayn walked forward and tenderly picked up the item. It was a black matte card that read VVIP in gold letters and a smaller inscription of ‘Red’ written at the bottom in the colour red.

 

“What are these?” Harry asked turning his card over in his hand.

 

The brunette woman looked at him in shock and the other blond haired woman also paused her typing to give them a weird look.

 

“This is a VVIP membership card to Mr. Payne’s nightclub ‘Red.’ There’s a VIP card and then there’s this, the VVIP. This one is the gold membership where you can skip the lines and go directly in, you have access to the second VIP floor of the club, you have a reserved booth at any time you please and your drinks are all free. There’s only about fifty of these that Mr. Payne has given out.” The woman said while looking them over wondering how they had gotten one.

 

Zayn and Harry were both left speechless and they just looked at each other in shock.

 

“And Mr. Payne also requested that if possible, you were to meet him at the club around 7 p.m.” She said.

 

“How… why?” Were the only words Zayn was able to get out.

 

“Don’t ask questions sweetheart. Just accept it. People would kill to have that card. The VIP card alone is so hard to get and this VVIP one is impossible. Mr. Payne only gives it to family members and his closest friends.” The blond woman said.

 

“Jesus Christ the man is so gone for you.” Harry mumbled.

 

Zayn sucked in a breath and felt his body freeze up. Was that true? Liam was actually attracted to him and thus had given them this card? What other reason would there be? But no. That was ridiculous. Why would Liam be that into him? What did Zayn even do to deserve all this attention. Nothing made sense. 

 

“Thank you very much. We’ll be sure to thank Mr. Payne for this wonderful gesture.” Harry smiled and took a hold of Zayn’s hand to back away.

 

“Have fun boys. Oh and with that card no one even checks your ID to see if you’re ‘legal.’ Just don’t abuse this privilege and give it to other people to use because the club will catch on and they will revoke your membership. Also, don’t try making copies for your friends. There’s a hidden code written at the back that can’t be copied so it won’t work.” The woman grinned at them then went back to her work.

 

When they were safely in the elevators Zayn and Harry locked eyes.

 

“Oh my god. I’m literally speechless.” Harry fell back against the wall.

 

“What’s going on Harry? Why do you think he’s doing all this?” Zayn asked as butterflies raced through his stomach and he started to feel light headed.

 

“Sweetheart……. that man wants to fuck you real bad. There’s no other explanation.” Harry let out a laugh and Zayn felt too stunned to even hit Harry or try to tell him he was wrong. Zayn felt so utterly confused and shaken up, he had no idea how he was supposed to face Liam later on.

 

 

**

 

“Yes Maa. It was fine. I’m fine.” Zayn was on the phone with his mom to let her know he would be home late because now he and Harry were sitting in a cab on their way to the club. But of course, his mom being the concerned soul she was had to launch into a series of questions to ask how his day had been.

 

“And you had something to eat at lunch right?” Tricia asked.

 

“Yes Maa I had lunch. And now me and Harry are joining our co-workers at this restaurant to get dinner and celebrate our first day.” Zayn bit his lip hoping his mom wouldn’t realize he was lying.

 

“Ok Jaan just be careful and don’t be home too late okay? Yes Safaa hold on! I have to go beta. I love you, be safe. Khuda Hafiz.” Tricia shut the phone and Zayn let out a groan.

 

“I can’t believe I lied to my mom,” Zayn mumbled into his hands as he held his face.

 

“Yes but all for a good cause. When there’s dick involved, lying is alright.” Harry grinned at Zayn.

 

“Whose dick?” Zayn asked.

 

“Liam’s dick. Inside you. Thrusting in and out.” Harry waggled his eyebrows.

 

“Shut up!” Zayn hissed glancing at the driver who had obviously heard everything and was glancing at them in the rear-view mirror.

 

“There’s no dicks going in anything Harry. He probably doesn’t even like me that way. Who knows why this is all happening, maybe this is some joke. And yes yes I know- even if there’s a slight chance that he does want me, I’m not going to just sleep with him. I have my rules.” Zayn said and shrunk back into his seat.

 

“I really wish you didn’t doubt yourself so much.” Harry frowned at Zayn. “You’re gorgeous and intelligent and he seems extremely attracted to you from what I saw two weeks ago. And him giving you this card just shows how much he wants you. Even if you don’t sleep with him Zayn that’s fine. Stop doubting that the man could seriously be into you. You’re a catch babe please stop doubting yourself.” Harry squeezed Zayn’s hand.

 

Zayn nodded and glanced out the window at the passing city lights. Maybe Harry was right and Liam really did want him. For god knows whatever reason, maybe just maybe Liam was into him. Zayn touched his cheek remembering where Liam had traced his face earlier. At that moment Zayn had felt electricity run through him. His skin had tingled even after Liam had walked away. If one gentle touch did this to him what would happen if he did something more? What would happen if Liam kissed him? If he ran his tongue alongside Zayn’s own? What would happen if Liam ran his hands across Zayn’s body? What would happen if he started to undress Zayn and got him naked? What would happen if he put his mouth and hands across Zayn’s bare skin? Would he be all gentle caresses and sweet words? Or would he be all rough hands and filthy words whispered into Zayn’s ear? Zayn gulped and felt his cock twitch in his jeans. Arousal was pooling in his stomach thinking about all of this. And Zayn would never tell Harry, but for the first time in his life, he really wanted to find out what it would all be like.

 

“We’re here.” Harry announced as the cab pulled to a stop. After Zayn and Harry pooled together money to pay the cab driver they both stepped out and looked around. The club was in the posh part of the city where high end shops and restaurants were all lined up. The club itself was a tall black building with what seemed like a large globe like structure at the top completely made of glass. The words ‘Red’ glowed across the structure and lights flashed into the sky. Serayah had been right. The line was extremely long. The club had been open only an hour and the line was stretching down the street. The ground was practically vibrating from the music coming from inside and Zayn could feel it crawl up his skin and nestle into his heart where it joined with his heartbeat and created an unsteady and fast rhythm.

 

“Well the woman did say no waiting in lines so let’s test these bad boys out.” Harry pulled out his card and marched confidently to the front while Zayn followed him acutely aware of the stares they got from everyone in the line they were passing. They got to the front of the line and stopped in front of the bouncer guarding the entrance. The man was well over six feet tall and had arms thicker than both of Zayn’s and Harry’s arms combined. He gave them a quick glance.

 

“Back of the line boys.” He said.

 

“Well kind sir we have these.” Harry took Zayn’s card from him and presented both of the cards to the man.

 

Seeing the VVIP the man was visibly shocked and looked closely at Zayn and Harry. He inspected it for a few minutes too long and then ran his hand along the back and realizing the authenticity he handed the cards back.

 

“Well it’s real.” The man said a little confused.

 

“So…. Can we?” Harry pointed at the door.

 

“I guess so….” The man untied the velvet cord and let them through to the shock of the people waiting in the front of the line who started asking the bouncer how ‘the two dumb kids’ had gotten in.

 

“That felt so good!” Harry squealed and practically skipped down the dimly lit hallway towards where a set of elevators stood.

 

“I really wish we had gone home to change.” Zayn pulled at his white button down that he’d been wearing all day after he took the top sweater off.

 

“Well if we had gone all the way to Brooklyn just to change we would never have gotten here by 7 p.m. and your man said 7 p.m.” Zayn was about to argue with Harry about the ‘your man’ part but Harry covered Zayn’s mouth.

 

“But you do look like a librarian ZayZay and we have to fix that.” Harry glanced at the elevator that had opened to let a group of people out and instead of entering it he grabbed Zayn’s hand and turned around.

 

“Let me work some magic on you.” Zayn groaned as Harry dragged him by the hand towards where the washrooms were. They entered inside to find it empty much to Zayn’s happiness and Harry set his bag down.

 

“Let me see,” Harry said and began digging through his bag.

 

“Take your time Mary Poppins.” Zayn smiled and leaned back against the sinks.

 

“Cute,” Harry twisted Zayn’s nipple who shouted in pain.

 

“Okay, take off your shirt. I have a black t-shirt you can wear.” Harry pulled out a shirt from his bag.

 

“You really are always prepared.” Zayn said amused and began to unbutton his shirt.

 

“You never know when you might need to make a quick change so I like to be prepared.” Harry tossed Zayn the black t-shirt then began changing his own shirt into a loose-fitting floral print.

 

“Thank Haz,” Zayn said slipping into the black t shirt.

 

“You’re welcome boo. I have to look out for the both of us.” Harry finished buttoning up his shirt then began rummaging through his bag and pulled out hair wax.

 

“Com here,” Harry instructed Zayn.

 

Zayn came to stand in front of Harry who took some wax into his hands and started running it through Zayn’s thick black hair to push it up into a quiff. After a few minutes of fussing with it Harry seemed satisfied and pulled back.

 

“You look hot.” Harry grinned at Zayn and kissed his cheek.

 

Zayn bit his lip and looked into the mirror. He didn’t know if he looked hot like Harry said, but he looked more put together than before. He slipped his glasses off and tucked them into his bag. Pulling out a mini size bottle of his cologne, Zayn put a few spritz on himself then took a deep breath and turned towards Harry.

 

“Okay?” Zayn asked nervously.

 

“You look bomb babe. Liam will take one look at you and want to bend you over the nearest table right then and there.” Harry smirked.

 

“Oh for the love of God Harry.” Zayn glared at him.

 

Harry laughed and finished fixing his own hair then seemingly satisfied he put his stuff away.

 

“Let’s go.”

 

 

Once they had gone back to where the elevators were, they got into one of the lifts. There was only one button in the elevator with no number beside it so they pressed it and went upwards. Zayn focused on calming his erratic breathing the whole time while he rubbed his palms on his jeans as they broke out into sweats. Moments like this is where he felt his anxiety heighten. It felt like there was a drumroll happening leading up to the make it or break it moment. Where either something good was about to happen or he was about to fuck up and ruin everything. Zayn took a couple of deep breaths like he had been taught and said a silent prayer in his heart. The elevator came to a stop and they both walked out.

 

“Wow.” Harry said and it was ‘wow’ indeed. The elevators had dropped them off into a passageway that was dark and completely lined with mirrors on both sides. Dim lights lit up the walkway with a soft glow. As they walked down the tunnel-like hallway they both admired just how beautiful it was. Occasionally catching sight of his face in the mirrors lining the walls Zayn could how flushed he looked. He hated how his anxiety couldn’t just stay an internal thing but had to manifest itself onto his physical body screaming out ‘look how nervous and scared I look!’ A few girls were stumbling down the passageway laughing and obviously wasted. As they got closer and closer to the end of the passageway the music was growing louder and Zayn couldn’t hear his own thoughts anymore with the deafening volume of the music.  As they finally entered the club Zayn’s mouth dropped open. It was spectacular. The globe-shaped glass structure he had seen from outside was the actual club. The main floor was where the dance floor was centered with booths running on either side of the room and a long bar ran end from end at the opposite side. The place was almost completely dark with only flashing lights from above occasionally lighting up the faces. People were dancing and completely lost in the moment, their bodies moving in a unified and unique way. To the side of the entrance was a bag and coat check station where they dropped off their bags first. As Zayn and Harry slowly moved their way through the people Zayn looked up and saw a second floor. That was probably the VIP floor Liam’s secretary had been talking about. People up there were standing along the railing curving around the floor with drinks in their hands either laughing and talking amongst themselves or watching the people on the dance floor. Zayn couldn’t see what was beyond the railing on the VIP floor. But he knew Liam was up there. Fuck. Zayn would have to face him now with all these realizations of his feelings running around in his mind. He was about to come face to face for the third time with the man he was massively crushing on. To the man who had kept him up every night these past two weeks and who had managed to put his whole body at unrest.

 

“We have to go up there!” Harry shouted into Zayn’s ear as he pointed up at the VIP floor. Zayn nodded and followed Harry closely. They climbed up the stairs and stopped in front of another bouncer.

 

“Cards?” The man asked with a bored expression.

 

Zayn and Harry both handed over their VVIP cards which the man did a double take at just like the bouncer outside. He looked at them suspiciously as he handed their cards back.

 

“Do you know where Mr. Payne, Liam Payne, is?” Harry shouted to be heard over the music.

 

“He’s all the way at the back in private room. There’s red doors that block it off from the rest of the floor. You’ll know when you see it.” The man said to them.

 

Harry nodded then tapped Zayn on the shoulder to get his attention and they both started walking towards the back of the floor. The VIP floor seemed more relaxed with people just sitting in their booths talking and sipping at their drinks. All the energy was downstairs where the dance floor was. Zayn side-stepped a waitress as they finally arrived at the red doors. He realized his whole body was trembling in fear and anticipation so he grabbed Harry’s shoulder to stop him.

 

“Wait! Give me a second Haz.” Zayn let out shakily. Harry turned to Zayn nodding and took a hold of his hand.

 

“Just breathe ZayZay. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I’m right here okay?” Harry reassured Zayn and pulled him into a quick hug. Zayn breathed in Harry’s familiar scent and took a few deep breaths. Then he moved back and gave Harry a short nod.

 

Harry knocked on the door and after a few moments of waiting the door was pulled open and loud laughter spilled out. The blond blue-eyed man who had opened the door smiled at them.

 

“Can I help you?” He asked.

 

“I’m Harry, this is Zayn. Umm, Liam invited us?” Harry said sounding a little unsure.

 

Zayn saw a knowing smile spread across the man’s face as he shot Zayn an especially large grin.

 

“Yeah! Of course, come on in.” the man moved aside to let them enter.

 

The first thing Zayn noticed when he entered was that the room was thick with smoke. There were about ten or twelve people spread across the room sitting on the sofas or just standing around. They all mostly had drinks in their hands and a few of them were smoking which was the obvious reason behind all the smoke. Everyone seemed to be chatting away and hadn’t noticed Zayn and Harry enter. As Zayn’s eyes were flitting across the room he finally spotted Liam and his heart skipped a beat. God, he looked so good. The last two times Zayn had seen him he had been in suits. But right now he was in black jeans, a white t-shirt with a design on the front that was too hard to see from where Zayn stood, and a snapback set backwards on his head. Zayn couldn’t decide if he liked this casual Liam more, or the one in expensive and fitted suits. Zayn was so engrossed in taking in Liam’s appearance that he failed to notice the one other thing. And when he did he felt like someone had stabbed him in his heart. Sat in Liam’s lap was a young man who looked to be about 21 or 22 years old. He had black hair and grey eyes with one singular tattoo on his upper arm. He looked extremely familiar, like maybe Zayn had seen him in one of the fashion magazines Waliyha had in her room. Of course he would be a model why would Liam settle for any less. The guy was whispering something in Liam’s ear while Liam smirked and ran his lips along the guy’s neck. Liam took a drag from his spliff and then handed it to the guy who chose not to take a drag of his own, but instead brought his mouth close to Liam’s and inhaled the smoke he let out. He pressed a kiss to Liam’s jaw and then reclined back against the arm of the couch slowly breathing out the smoke.

 

Zayn felt like he was being punched in the gut repeatedly and simultaneously felt like he was going to be sick. His mind was screaming at the universe asking ‘why him, why did he always end up in these awful situations?’ but his body was numb. Cold and numb and hurting. Zayn felt someone grab his hand and knew Harry had seen the same thing he was seeing.

 

“Zayn do you want to..” but Zayn never heard the rest of that sentence because at that moment Liam lazily lifted his head from the other guy’s neck and saw Zayn. His eyes sparkled and a slow smirk spread across his face.

 

“Harry you can stay here if you like I’ll just- I have to bathroom.” Zayn rushed out the words then spun on his heel and rushed out of the room. His eyes were blurred with tears and his heart was racing but he ran down the stairs and came to a stop at the bottom floor. He was at the edge of the dancefloor and felt completely lost. It felt like the music and movement of the bodies around him was all in slow motion. He didn’t want to go towards the bar because he didn’t really drink. But he couldn’t just stand here looking like a fool. He was contemplating hiding out in the bathroom when he felt someone grab his arm. He turned around thinking it was Harry but came to face Damian.

 

“Zayn! You’re here! Why didn’t you or Harry text us that you had arrived?” He shouted into Zayn’s ear.

 

Zayn had lost the ability to speak and just slowly shook his head.

 

“You good?” Damian asked. His words were slightly slurred and the redness of his cheeks and glint in his eyes told Zayn he was drunk.

 

“Yeah I’m just gonna…” Zayn made to move back but Damian gripped his arm.

 

“No no! Come dance with me it’ll be fun. I don’t know anyone here!” Zayn shook his head slightly but Damian still pulled Zayn onto the dancefloor.

 

Zayn was in such a state of numbness and overdrive from anxiety he couldn’t register what was happening and let himself be dragged by Damian into the middle of the dancefloor. Damian had pulled Zayn close to himself and grabbed onto Zayn’s hips in a tight grip that was borderline uncomfortable for most people, but in Zayn’s current state it made him extremely uncomfortable and slightly suffocated. He didn’t know this guy. And suddenly he had been pulled into dancing with him? Zayn wanted to throw up. Damian was looking at him with dark eyes that dropped to Zayn’s lips.

 

“You’re really fucking hot Zayn. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since you ran into the conference room late this morning.” Damian said. Then he suddenly leaned forward. Zayn felt paralyzed in shock. Right before Damian’s lips landed on his, Zayn found his strength and shoved him away.

 

“N-No Damian. I don’t like you like that. I don’t even know you.” Zayn said then slowly started backing away. Damian looked confused then angry and started forward to grab Zayn’s arm. But he stopped suddenly when he saw something behind Zayn that made him freeze. Zayn was still backing away when his back hit something hard. He spun around ready to apologize but his words died out on his lips when he looked up into angry brown eyes.

 

**

Liam watched as Zayn raced out of the room. He frowned and sat up wondering why Zayn had run away when he had just arrived. Harry was looking at Liam with a hard expression on his face and then at the person sprawled across Liam’s lap.

 

“Adrian.” Liam lifted Adrian’s legs out of his lap and got up from the sofa.

 

“Liaaammmm. I was comfortable.” Adrian groaned out.

 

Liam ignore him and started towards the door. As he passed by Harry, the boy placed a hand on Liam’s arm to stop him.

 

“Don’t fuck with him. Please for the love of God don’t fuck with Zayn. The boy has a heart of gold and he can be a little naïve sometimes. But his gentle heart and emotions are the greatest part about him and if you’re going to hurt him I…. you’re a good guy Liam. Please be careful with my best friend’s heart.”

 

Liam patted Harry on the shoulder and walked out of the room. He had a feeling Zayn had fled after seeing Adrian in his lap. But the thing was, Liam wasn’t sure if Zayn even felt anything for him at all. The boy just always seemed so nervous and scared around him. Liam knew of his raging desire for the boy but he didn’t know where the boy himself stood. Of the two encounters they had, Liam got the sense that Zayn was most likely attracted to him but he didn’t want to pounce on the boy while he still seemed so shy around Liam. He wasn’t like any of Liam’s other partners. Zayn’s innocence caused Liam to ache and he wanted to treat the boy with the utmost and gentle care. And right now he had to find him because Zayn’s expression after seeing Adrian had been so utterly confused and broken. He couldn’t lose the boy. He just couldn’t.

 

As Liam descended the stairs he glanced around wondering where Zayn could have gone. He was about to ask the bouncer if he had seen the boy when his eyes landed on Zayn. He was talking to another boy who seemed to be gripping onto Zayn’s arm a little too tightly and leaning too closely into Zayn’s personal space. Liam frowned as he felt a spark of annoyance course through his blood. He didn’t have any right over Zayn he knew that, but seeing some other boy stand so intimately with him made Liam’s jaw clench and jealously spark his veins. He then saw the boy lead, more like drag, Zayn onto the dancefloor. Zayn had an uncomfortable expression on his face and he looked a little panicked. Liam couldn’t stand by anymore. He walked down the rest of the stairs and into the throng of bodies towards where he could see Zayn. The fucker had pulled Zayn into his body and was holding tightly onto his hips. Suddenly Liam saw the other guy lean down to kiss Zayn and Zayn bolted back shoving the boy away. Liam moved forward with anger running hot through his blood. The boy was about to grab Zayn again when Liam came to a stop behind Zayn. Liam shot the guy such a cold murderous look that he shrunk back frightened. Zayn walked right back into Liam’s chest and spun around. Seeing it was Liam his eyes widened in shock. Liam didn’t look down at Zayn yet but kept his eyes locked with the asshole in front of him.

 

“You better get the fuck out of my club before I toss you out myself. If you touch him again without his permission I will not hesitate to break your face.” Liam saw recognition and then fear run through the boy’s eyes and he quickly nodded then scampered back and ran off through the crowd. Liam then looked down at Zayn who was visibly shaking and had his eyes trained across the room.

 

“Zayn,” Liam said softly and tilted the boy’s chin up to look at Liam. He had unshed tears clouding his beautiful eyes and Liam felt his heart ache. He wanted to run after the jackass that had caused this and give him the black eye he deserved.

 

“You okay baby?” Liam asked and cupped Zayn’s face.

 

Zayn hurriedly nodded and kept his eyes downcast. Liam took Zayn’s hand gently and took him over to the side of the room where there was an empty stool at the long bar.  With a hand to Zayn’s shoulders Liam made him sit on the bar stool then stood in front of him and studied his face.

 

“Zayn,” Liam said again and gently wrapped a hand around Zayn’s slim wrist. He rubbed his thumb across Zayn’s pulse point and waited for the boy to come back to him.

 

“I-I d-didn’t want to dance with him. I said no and he still pulled me along. Th-then he tried to kiss me I didn’t want that either. He-he made me feel suffocated. I didn’t like being near him at all.” Liam listened to Zayn quietly, trying not to let the rage running through his mind at the piece of shit who had dared to make Zayn feel this way overrun his mind. 

 

“I was just trying to leave since I was upset and he just grabbed me.” Zayn looked so panicked that Liam cradled his face and stroked his cheekbone with his thumb.

 

“Why were you upset?” Liam asked gently.

 

Zayn stayed silent. He stared intently at where Liam still held his hand but didn’t meet his eyes.

 

“Zayn?” Liam asked again.

 

“Is he- is the guy upstairs... is he your boyfriend?” Zayn had asked in such a quiet voice that Liam would have missed it if he wasn’t listening so intently.

 

“Adrian? No he’s not my boyfriend. We dated for some time last year but just grew apart because of the distance. He’s got his modelling and I have my job and our schedules never matched. It was a friendly breakup which is why we’re still friends and meet up whenever we’re in the same city.” Liam explained to Zayn.

 

“But why was he…” Zayn looked up at Liam with such wide doe eyes Liam felt like his heart skipped multiple beats.

 

“We still flirt here and there and sometimes we fall into an old pattern for a day or two. But it doesn’t mean anything. He doesn’t make me feel the things you do baby.” Liam leaned impossibly close to Zayn and rested his arms on the bar behind him. Liam could see Zayn inhale deeply.

 

“Since the first day I saw you I’ve lost my damn mind. You’re all I think about.” Liam traced his finger under Zayn’s eye, “These eyes are all I think about day and night.” He looked down at Zayn’s lips and traced them with his thumb, “These sinful lips are all I dream of tasting.” Liam leaned a little back and let his eyes drink in Zayn’s face.

 

“You baby boy. You are all I think about these days. You’re all I crave so madly these days.”

 

Zayn’s breath hitched and he clenched his fists tighter into where he was gripping Liam’s shirt.

 

“A-are you going to kiss me?” Zayn asked sounding hopeful as Liam stroked his face standing less than a centimetre of distance away from Zayn.

 

“I want to. Really fucking badly. Do you want me to kiss you?” Liam watched Zayn’s face and saw a series of emotions flash over it. From hope and desire, to nervousness and hesitation to finally panic and something unreadable.

 

“I can’t… I’m not… you wouldn’t.” Zayn stammered out then suddenly he jumped from the bar stool as if he was on fire.

 

Liam watched in confusion as the boy stared at him for a couple of seconds then his lip started to tremble a little.

 

“I should go.” Zayn let out shakily.

 

“Zayn-“ Liam started but Zayn was running away for the second time that night and Liam saw him disappear into the crowd.

 

Liam had no idea what had just happened because one second Zayn had been looking at Liam with wide eyes full of unhidden desire asking if was going to kiss him, then the next second he looked like he was having a full on panic attack and running out of the place. This boy was the sweetest mystery that Liam wished to unravel with tender touches and kisses. The need and want rushing through his veins grew hotter and Liam knew the only way to calm all of this was to have Zayn in his arms. But to accomplish all that he had to first find a way to understand what was going on in that gentle heart belonging to that soft hazel eyed-boy.

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jaan- literally meaning soul, loosely also means life. used as an endearment for someone you love. You're basically calling them your soul/love/life. And 'meri jaan' would be 'my jaan'
> 
> Daadi- paternal grandmother
> 
> Baba- father
> 
> Maa- mother (but that word isn't just urdu lol)
> 
> Khuda Hafiz- 'God protect you' it's the way we say goodbye
> 
> Ya Allah- 'Oh Allah' or 'Oh God'
> 
> \--
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading I hope you liked it!! Let me know know what you thought in the comments. Also my tumblr and twitter are:
> 
> Tumblr: http://zaynsbambieyes.tumblr.com/
> 
> Twitter: @cartierandroses


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :) Another really long chapter completed. To be honest this may have taken me longer but I ended up finding some available time this weekend to finish it up quickly. And honestly when I start writing I seriously can't stop and the chapters end up being really long so I'm really sorry if you don't like lengthy chapters :( And again thank you so so SO much to everyone who left such mind-blowing and kind comments on the previous chapter. Your words honestly make me emotional. And right now when I came to add the third chapter I saw that I've reached 100 kudos and just WOW holy shit thank you to everyone who read this and liked it I'm just so overwhelmed.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter! :)
> 
> P.S. Once again all the words and dialogues in urdu will be translated at the end.

Zayn cried on the way home. He felt angry and upset. Angry that once again his mind succumbed to all his insecurities and anxiety, and upset that he couldn’t hold it back long enough to see what would have happened with Liam. After he had run out of the club he had grabbed the first cab he came across and gave the driver his home address. On his way back to Brooklyn he texted Harry he was going home then shut off his phone. Harry would understand. The entire ride home he kept his fists clenched with his fingernails biting into his palm to hold back the trembling. He didn’t know when he finally reached home and the cab driver had to turn around and tap Zayn’s knee to get his attention. Zayn snapped out of his trance and paid the cab driver before quickly hurrying into his house. When he got in he tried to be as quiet as possible as he slipped off his shoes and tried to move past the living room towards the stairs.

 

“Zayn?”

 

Zayn stopped in his tracks and turned towards the living room where he saw his dad reclined on the sofa watching TV and his mom on the other side of the sofa with Safaa in her lap as she braided her hair.

 

“Asalamualaikum,” Zayn mumbled and tried to move forward again.

 

“Beta! Hold on!” Tricia called and Zayn paused in his steps again keeping his face turned away because with one look at him his mom would know something was up.

 

“How was your day pumpkin? Come here and talk to us.” Tricia gave him a warm smile.

 

“I- I’m just really exhausted if it’s okay I just want to sleep I have to be up super early again tomorrow.” Zayn said while nervously running his hand through his hair.

 

“Did something happen Zayn?” Yaser lowered the volume of the TV and leaned forward looking at Zayn.

 

“N- No everything is fine. I’m fine. I just want to sleep. I already ate so don’t worry about me, I just need to rest.” Zayn hurried out then ran up the stairs at the speed of lightning.

 

When he got to his room he quickly closed the door then leaned back against it in the dark taking in big gulps of air. He hated himself. He hated how his mind and heart were too weak sometimes and how his body acted out of his control.

 

“Fuck everything,” Zayn whispered rubbing furiously at his eyes.

 

He threw aside his bag and fell onto his bed. He pulled his sheets over his body and head and buried his face in his pillow. Then the tears returned. Everything that had happened tonight was one colossal fuck up. Seeing that Adrian person with Liam had felt so painful and it made Zayn realize that he’d been a fool for getting his hopes up and thinking Liam would want him. Liam had much better options. Why would he want a blubbering idiot who couldn’t even stay calm for two minutes around him? But then at the bar. Liam had been so gentle and kind and the way he touched him had him feel warm and electrified. The things he said made Zayn feel like he drowning, in the best kind of way. But then Zayn had to fuck that up too. His mind questioning why Liam could possibly want him coupled with the anxiety driven by his magnified want for the man made him panic. He’d acted so stupidly and now Liam would never want him. Who would? Zayn was a mess and no one would want to deal with that. He hated himself. Zayn was so busy letting his tears soak his pillow and his anxiety overrun his body to exhaustion that he hadn’t heard the door creak open.

 

“Bhaiya?” A small voice asked from the door.

 

“Yeah Safoo?” Zayn asked trying to keep his voice calm.

 

“Are you okay?” Safaa padded in slowly and stopped beside Zayn’s bed.

 

“Yeah buttercup I’m okay.” Zayn lied, trying sound like he was actually okay.

 

Safaa stood in the dark beside his bed for a few seconds then slowly pulled herself onto the bed. She crawled her way into the sheets and shuffled over till she was able to wrap her arms around Zayn. She hugged him and kept her cheek pressed to his chest with her small feet pressing against his legs.

 

“Mama said to leave you alone but I was worried. You had that sad look on your face you have whenever you’re having a bad day. I know you told me sometimes your-your head gets full of stuff and that you get sad. And when you get sad you start to cry even when you don’t want to… is that what’s happening right now?” She whispered while peeking up at his face.

 

Zayn felt his heart clench. At seven years old his little sister was so intelligent and attuned to others people’s emotions. She could tell whenever someone was upset or feeling down. She wasn’t even old enough to understand how anxiety or panic attacks worked but she always knew when Zayn was going through one and would give him a hug or kiss or just cuddle with him wanting to see her older brother feel better. She, like his entire family, was his biggest blessing.

 

“I am a little sad buttercup. Sometimes… things happen with adults that we wish we could have avoided.” Zayn sighed and started stroking her hair as she listened to him silently. “Things our heart control, things Allah puts in our path unexpectedly, things that overwhelm us. Life is hard Saf. You should be happy you’re still so young.” Zayn let out a shaky chuckle.

 

“I don’t want you to be sad.” Safaa sounded a little upset. “I’ll help you fix whatever happened Bhaiya just be happy please.” She put her hand on Zayn’s face and rubbed his tears away.

 

“Oh meri jaan you’re a little angel did you know?” Zayn hugged her to his chest tightly and buried his face in her soft hair. It smelt like her strawberry shampoo and instantly made Zayn feel calmer.

 

“I love you bhaiya. I’m gonna make dua to Allah that you feel happier. And that you never have to feel that.. that anxsy stuff.” She looked up at him worriedly.

 

“Thank you Safoo. You’re the best little sister a guy could ask for. When I get my first paycheque I’m gonna take you shopping and you can buy whatever you want.” Zayn said softly stroking her hair. He knew she was getting drowsy as it was way past her bed time anyways.

 

“Hmm but don’t take Waliyha. She’s always mean to me.” Safaa mumbled as she buried her face further into Zayn’s chest and yawned.

 

“Of course buttercup. Good night.” Zayn kissed her head.

 

“Night bhaiya. I hope who or what- whatever made you sad doesn’t anymore.” She sighed and started snoring afterwards.

 

Zayn smiled and squeezed her tightly and dropped a couple of kisses to her head.

 

“Me too babe, me too.” Zayn sighed and closed his eyes.

 

Anxiety attacks always took such a toll on his body and made him feel like he had just run a marathon. He could feel the exhaustion of the day take over his mind and he eventually drifted off into sleep.

 

 

**

“And then I pushed him into the mud after he made her cry, and he ran away after that like a ‘fraidy cat!”

 

Zayn was walking down the stairs the next morning and could hear Safaa telling one of her stories in an excited voice. Zayn had felt her get up at 6 a.m. and she had kissed his cheek then left his room to probably wander off downstairs.

 

“Wow Saf I’m impressed! You’re like supergirl. You should never ever let mean boys bully you. Give them a taste of their own medicine.” That was Harry. Zayn walked into the kitchen confused and saw Safaa sitting in Harry’s lap at the table as she told him her story. Waliyha sat on the other side eating her cereal and rolling her eyes.

 

“She was being violent and you’re encouraging her?” Waliyha asked.

 

“She was giving that little devil boy what he deserved Wali. You’re a girl yourself you should be supporting this.” Harry flung a piece of cereal at her head.

 

Safaa giggled at Waliyha’s annoyed expression then she spotted Zayn and smiled.

 

“Bhaiya!”

 

They all looked towards Zayn, including his mom who had been standing at the stove.

 

“ZayZay,” Harry said with a gentle smile but his eyes were full of concern.

 

“Hi Haz,” Zayn croaked out. “Ready to leave?”

 

“Zayn are you not going to eat anything?” Tricia asked with a frown.

 

“I’m just gonna take something to go Maa. We were awfully late yesterday and I don’t want to repeat that nightmare.” Zayn picked up a banana then turned to leave but Tricia grabbed his arm.

 

“Jaan. Are you sure you’re okay? Last night-“ Tricia started but Zayn squeezed his mom’s hand.

 

“I’m positive Maa. I was just tired and being late yesterday gave me some anxiety that lasted the whole day but I’m okay.” Zayn gave her a little smile.

 

“Well if you’re sure. Just try to stay relaxed today okay?” Tricia looked at him with concern.

 

“I’ll try Maa. Haz?” Zayn cocked his head to the front door.

 

“Yeah, yeah let’s go. Have fun swimming Saf and have fun with the dance classes Wali.” Harry called out behind himself as he walked towards the front door.

 

“Khuda Hafiz Maa. Have fun guys.” Zayn said pressing kisses to his Mom and sisters’ cheeks then followed Harry out.

 

“Khuda Hafiz Beta! Your Baba had to leave early for work but he told me tell you to take it easy!” Tricia called after him.

 

“I’ll try.” Zayn said and slipped on his shoes. He walked out the front door where Harry was waiting on the sidewalk.

 

“Before you start Haz. I really, really don’t want to talk about it. It took hours to calm myself down and I just can’t start again.” Zayn gripped onto his bag and looked at Harry.

 

Harry just quietly moved forward and wrapped Zayn into a tight hug.

 

“I know you’ll talk when you’re ready babe. I just want you to know that I love you. And that I’m always here. Okay?” Harry moved back and rubbed Zayn’s arms. Zayn nodded and Harry kissed his forehead.

 

“Good. Now let’s go we don’t wanna grab the wrong subway again.” Harry grinned.

 

Zayn smiled back at him and they started off down the sidewalk.  

 

**

 

“Look at that baby! 8:45 a.m. and we made it! I kind of want to go up there and shove my watch up Duvall’s ass.” Harry said as he and Zayn walked into the lobby of PAYNE CORPORATIONS.

 

“Knowing him he won’t appreciate our being early but would rather choose to pick up on other mistakes we might make throughout the day.” Zayn said as he rummaged through his bag looking for his access card.

 

“He can suck my dick for all I care. I don’t put up with shit from anyone let alone a grouchy little man who thinks his job at a management firm makes him next to God or something.” Harry scoffed.

 

Zayn was smiling at Harry’s rambling when from the corner of his eye he saw some hurried movement at the front door. Walking in through the revolving doors were Liam, Ameera and the blond-haired guy who opened the door to the private room last night. They were laughing about something and all holding coffees as they came in. The couple of people who were in the lobby shot smiles to them and said ‘good morning.’ Zayn quickly jumped behind a pillar a dragged Harry with him.

 

“What in God’s name Zayn.” Harry yelped and Zayn clamped a hand over his mouth.

 

“L-Liam just came in. I- I can’t face him just yet.” Zayn said feeling a little panicked. He peeked out from behind the pillar and saw them waiting in front of the elevators. Liam was wearing a grey suit with a crisp white dress shirt and black tie. His hair and beard looked impeccable as always and Zayn felt his body physically ache.

 

“Zayn I know you don’t want to talk about it but between seeing that Adrian dude with Liam and you running away and Liam finding you, did something happen? When Liam came back up all he said was that you had left and then I got your text.” Harry looked at Zayn worried.

 

“Well… when I left the room and went down to the main floor I ran into Damian the guy who works with us upstairs. And he was drunk or whatever and he – he um, he forced himself on me kind of-“

“What?!?” Harry shouted interrupting Zayn.

 

“Shh! Don’t, please don’t make a big deal out of it Harry I’m already embarrassed-“

 

“Zayn you crazy fool! Why the fuck are _you_ embarrassed? That motherfucker should be embarrassed! Oh my God I’m going to kill him when I see him today!” Harry angrily ran a hand through his hair.

 

“No! Harry no! Don’t create a scene because of me, you know I hate that kind of attention, please Haz!” Zayn’s pleading eyes softened Harry who gripped both of Zayn’s hands and pressed a kiss to his knuckles.

 

“Okay babe. I won’t. I promise.” Harry ran soothing hands up and down Zayn’s arms.

 

“Liam actually came at the right moment and scared him away. He looked so furious Harry I’ve never seen so much anger in someone’s eyes. He might have hit him if I wasn’t physically in between them. And Damian ran away right then.” Zayn sighed.

 

“Well that bastard might have deserved a punch or two.” Harry clenched his jaw.

 

“Then Liam kind of calmed me down and things were getting weird again and I… well I ran away then.” Zayn ran a hand through his hair.

 

“It’s okay Zayn. Knowing you, you’re probably beating yourself up over everything that happened despite the fact that none of it was your fault. And don’t start doubting yourself again babe. That road is just dark and painful.” Harry squeezed Zayn’s shoulders.

 

“I- never mind. Let’s go up before we’re late again.” Zayn turned towards the elevators and Harry followed him with a sad shake of his head.

 

 

**

 

Liam was sat in the midst of a meeting while his mind was completely elsewhere. At the front of the room one of the architects was detailing the plans for their newest hotel in Spain but Liam had barely listened to a single word. His mind was stuck on a certain raven haired, hazel-eyed boy. Zayn was an enigma. Never had Liam felt so mind-fucked over someone before. He’d consumed every single one of Liam’s thoughts every second of the day. He had also taken over Liam’s mind last as he took Adrian back to his penthouse and fucked him. Probably not his most sensible decision since they hadn’t been together for months, and then there was Zayn. But Liam had no idea where Zayn stood in regards to him since he had run away last night right when Liam might have kissed him. And when Adrian had straddled Liam and whispered into his ear how he missed the way Liam fucked him so roughly, Liam was too buzzed from the alcohol and weed and ended up taking Adrian home. They both knew where they stood and didn’t want a relationship again, just sex. When he had Adrian pinned to his mattress he saw hazel eyes instead of Adrian’s grey ones, and imagined Zayn whimpering softly instead of Adrian’s loud pants. Zayn had invaded every corner of his brain and Liam was losing himself completely.

 

“Does that sound good Mr. Payne?” Liam snapped out of his thoughts to see all his employees surrounding the conference room table were looking towards him.

 

“I’m sorry. Yes, it all seems to be going well Mr. Welsh. You have my okay to send forward the final plans to the contractors in Spain.” Liam asked

 

“Will do. Thank you, Mr. Payne.” The architect, Mr. Welsh, smiled and everyone else clapped for him and started to gather their stuff.

 

“Nice little save Li. You were so out of it I thought you would have no idea what the man had been talking about.” Niall murmured from beside him.

 

“I may seem out of it but I’m always on top of my shit Ni.” Liam grinned.

 

“Heading up?” Niall asked as they walked over to the elevators together.

 

“Where else would I go?” Liam asked.

 

“I dunno. The 45th floor maybe where your current obsession probably is.” Niall smirked.

 

“Haha.” Liam replied deadpan as they got into the elevator and Liam hit the 50th floor button for himself and 49th for Niall.

 

“Nah I’m coming up to your floor.” Niall said.

 

“Why?” Liam asked suspiciously.

 

“Just to hang.” Niall replied while avoiding eye contact.

 

“Oh really? Hang with me or to act like a puppy around Ameera?” Liam smirked.

 

“Fuck off.” Niall said.

 

“Get your shit together Ni. You’ve been in love with her for a year now. Either grow a pair and ask her out or stop acting like an idiot around her because the second-hand embarrassment I have to deal with is too much.” Liam said.

 

“Oh suck my dick Liam. I don’t act like an idiot around her. She’s just pretty much perfect and never seems interested in men at all, or women for that matter. I don’t think she wants to date honestly.” Niall sighed.

 

“Well she is perfect. Confident, beautiful, intelligent, independent and so so _so_ out of your league.” Liam grinned.

 

“Haha. Very funny. Pick at my wound why don’t you?” Niall smacked Liam’s arm as they arrived at the 50th floor.

 

 

“So since you went home with Adrian last night are you two going to start up your on and off thing again?” Niall asked as they walked towards Liam’s office.

 

“Nah. That was just sex. We have one offs all the time Niall you know that. But we don’t want anything more.” Liam sighed as they entered his office and he fell down on the sofa.

 

“Right because you’re in love with that Zayn kid.” Niall grinned.

“I’m not in love you jackass. He’s just… he’s something else. He’s killing me slowly and agonizingly.” Liam ran his hand through his hair and closed his eyes as Zayn’s face flashed into his mind. Soft hazel eyes looking up at him with desire and nervousness mixed, pretty pink lips trembling, sharp cheekbones hidden behind soft skin and the silkiest locks of dark hair. His scent so subtle but sweet and overwhelming. Fuck.

 

“Are you like mentally fucking the boy? You have that look.” Niall threw a magazine at Liam.

 

“Fuck off Horan.” Liam groaned.

 

The door opened and Ameera walked in and raised her eyebrow at Niall then walked over to Liam and tapped his head with a file.

 

“Leems you have two different lunch meetings today. The first with GQ about your new campaign and the second with the French contractors.” Ameera announced and dropped the file into his lap.

 

“And these need to be signed.” She sat down on the sofa and pulled open her iPad.

 

“Plus this bachelor trip you’re planning- “

 

“Ibiza baby!” Niall exclaimed.

 

“Charming.” Ameera gave Niall an unamused look and he grinned at her.

 

“This bachelor party you’re planning it’s this upcoming weekend right? So you leave tomorrow night on Friday right?” She asked.

 

“Yes Meemz.” Liam said.

 

“Alright, I’ll delay a couple of your meetings and keep your weekend free. You guys will be taking the jet?”

 

“Obviously,” Liam said.

 

“Ok and I’ve got your memo on the hotel you want booked and I’ll finalize the other details and let you know.” Ameera said.

 

“You’re the best Meemz, I love you.” Liam threw his arm around her and pulled her into a hug.

 

“Yeah you’d be incompetent without me.” She pinched Liam’s arm.

 

“Yes I’m very grateful for the day you tracked me down at CeCe’s burlesque club and forced me to hire you as my PA. Your long speech still rings in my mind.” Liam laughs.

 

“What can I say, if I want something bad enough I hunt it down and get it. Kind of like you and your sexual conquests. Speaking of, how’s Zayn?” Ameera grinned at Liam.

 

“Oh you think you’re cute huh?” Liam pinched her arm.

 

“Has the poor boy died of a stroke yet. You should see him Niall, he’s so sweet and oblivious and Mr. Shameless here almost gave the poor boy a heart attack.” Ameera laughed.

 

“I saw him last night.” Niall said.

 

“As much as I’m enjoying this,” Liam said sarcastically, “You both need to leave so I can take care of some work before I have to leave for my lunch meetings. Go gossip somewhere else.”

 

“Alright Mr. Sunshine go ahead. Although talking of sexual conquests, Gisele called a few times asking if she’s still your date for Josh and Bianca’s wedding?”

 

Liam rolled his eyes.

 

“God. I mentioned it to her as a joke and she can’t let it go. I’ll take care of it. Thanks Meemz.”

 

“No problem Li. Don’t you have work to do Horan?” Ameera asked Niall as she left the room.

 

Niall sighed looking after her and exited the room as well.

 

 

**

 

“Does anyone know why Damian is not here.”

 

Zayn’s head shot up from his desk and he looked at here Mr. Duvall stood with a frown at the door way to the intern’s room.

 

“He said he would be a little late.” Amanda said.

 

“So he tells you, but he doesn’t have the courtesy and call in to let me, his boss, know?” Mr. Duvall was starting to sound angry. Everyone just glanced at him silently.

 

“I hope he gets runs over on his way here,” Harry muttered as he tapped away on his laptop. Zayn sent him a look signalling him to stay quiet.

 

“Anyways, just to let you guys know, it’s Raj’s birthday today. If you don’t know him he’s one of our senior managers for our Athletes division. Anyways we have a tradition in this office to get a birthday cake as a surprise for whoever’s birthday it is and we have one for Raj. After everyone returns from their lunch break we’re going to bring it out for him and you all should participate too. For now carry on with your work.” Mr. Duvall disappeared once again.

 

“Wow he even makes birthdays seem depressing.” Harry snorted.

 

“Pretty much,” Serayah laughed. “Raj is sweet though he’ll be so touched by the surprise.”

 

“So Serayah you’ve worked here for 2 summers now. Have you ever met Mr. Payne?” Amanda asked curiously.

 

Zayn felt annoyance spark through his body at her words. Why was this girl so obsessed with Liam? She needed to focus her attention elsewhere.

 

“Yes I have. In fact, last summer I was doing really well and I was kind of promoted to go work directly for Mr. Payne. I was like his assistant’s assistant because she was overloaded with work. So I ran into him a lot.” Serayah grinned.

 

“Really?! You’re so fucking lucky. I saw him from far away at a company dinner my dad brought me too and god he was so fucking hot. But I never got close enough to introduce myself.” Amanda pouted.

 

“What a shame,” Harry said sarcastically and Zayn and Serayah both bit back laughter while Amanda frowned at Harry.

 

“Well honestly he’s as fucking charming and wonderful as he is attractive. I’m not gonna lie, even I developed a little crush on him while I worked up there. It’s impossible not to. He’s like the perfect mix of sexy and classy.” Serayah sighed.

 

“So imagine my little heartbreak when like a complete idiot I walked into his office without knocking and found him attached at the lips with a pretty well-known blond model, I won’t say who though. She was straddling him in his chair with her dress pushed a little too far up. It was a sight to behold.” Serayah laughed.   

 

“Wow. I would kill to be her.” Amanda murmured.

 

“Honey it sounds like you’re here for the opportunity to upgrade your sex life, and not your resume.” Harry said.

 

“I can do both.” Amanda said haughtily.

 

“Right. And the other party needs to hold interest in you first, which frankly I doubt will ever occur.” Harry said and Zayn and Serayah laughed while Amanda looked a little confused.

 

**

 

 

“Yeah they had to cancel. Apparently their flight from LA got delayed so they won’t be here till tomorrow now. Just squeeze the meeting in sometime tomorrow afternoon not the evening.” Liam was sat in the back of his car having a smoke as he returned back to the office after his lunch meeting with GQ. His second meeting had gotten cancelled last second as the French contractors it was with, were stuck in LA and the flight they were supposed to be on a few hours ago was delayed.

 

“Sounds good. Are you heading back here now?” Ameera asked from the other end. “I’m going to lunch with Niall, Katie and Tom. Care to join?”

 

“Nah. I just had lunch with the GQ people. I’m just gonna come back and stay at the office, clear up some of the work from my neglected pile. I have dinner plans later so I want to leave the office early.” Liam said.

 

“Ok cool. See you after lunch Li.” Ameera said.

 

“See ya Meemz.” Liam shut his phone just as the car pulled up outside the office building.

 

“Thanks Patrick. I’ll just need you to pick me up at 4 today.” Liam said as he started to get out of the car.

 

“I’ll be here Liam.”

 

Patrick had been his driver for two years now and no matter where Liam went he never sought out other private drivers. He trusted Patrick to get him wherever he needed, wherever he needed. Coupled with the fact he was married to Liam’s cook and sort of housekeeper, Mary, made things easier. They lived a few floors below his penthouse in his building and were always readily available.

 

As Liam walked back into the lobby and headed towards the elevators his mind drifted to Zayn again. It wasn’t even just his infatuation that kept bringing his thoughts back to the boy. He was concerned for Zayn. The way he had looked so panicked and fled from the club had been so strange. He looked to be on the verge of tears and that had made Liam’s heart ache. He needed to find out why Zayn went from looking so open and hopeful to looking spooked. When Liam got in the elevator, he hit the button for the 45th floor instead of the 50th. Zayn would most likely be in the office and Liam didn’t give a fuck about what people would think of him being there so randomly, he just needed to see Zayn.

 

Entering the 45th floor, he saw it was mostly empty. At first Liam was confused and then he realized it was lunch hour and everyone had most likely left the office to go get lunch in the food court downstairs or the multitude of restaurants down the road. He realized it might have been pointless to come all the way here since Zayn was most likely gone to take his lunch break as well. But a quick look wouldn’t hurt. Liam crossed through the large office space towards where he knew the intern’s room was. He passed by only two people in the entire office who were having lunch at their desks and looked shocked and confused to see Liam. He grinned at them and they smiled back and murmured ‘good afternoon.’ Liam strode over to his destination and paused at the doorway. Before he even saw anyone, he heard soft humming. Liam looked inside and saw the familiar head of thick black hair bent over the table. Zayn once again had his back to Liam as he sat at the table, his hand moving over a piece of paper as if he was doodling. He was totally lost in his own world as he softly hummed a sweet melody that was unfamiliar to Liam. Liam felt a smile spread over his face and he leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed as he just took Zayn in. The boy looked so relaxed and absorbed in his own world that it was truly so endearing. Then to Liam’s surprise, Zayn started singing in a soft voice. His voice was – fucking beautiful. Like melted gold spilling from those lips and creating a soft and sweet tune. Liam felt floored. Zayn was singing in another language that sounded like Urdu from what Liam heard Ameera speak sometimes. Liam just stood there in awe as Zayn sang oblivious to Liam’s presence

 

_“yeh raatein abh nahi dhadakti din bhi saansein nahi lete, ab to, aa jao mere soniya, baatein reh gayin adhoori mere labon peh zaroori, aake sun jao mere soniya,_

_tere bin nahi laage jiya, tere bin, ab toh aa jao piya, tere bin nahi laage jiyaa……”_

Zayn had drifted off and stopped singing. He was now looking up and out the window across from him with his chin resting on his palm. Liam had stood frozen for the entirety of Zayn singing those few lines. He had no idea what they meant but he felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and laid to rest in his palms. This boy…

 

Liam moved forward slowly towards Zayn and stopped behind him. The boy was still completely lost and hadn’t noticed Liam behind him.

 

“You really are something else…” Liam said in a soft voice.

 

Zayn whipped around spinning around in his desk chair and Liam gripped the back of the chair to stop it from spinning uncontrollably on it’s wheels. Zayn looked up at Liam shocked out of his mind.

 

“Y-you heard me singing?” Zayn croaked out.

 

“What did it mean?” Liam asked instead.

 

“I- it’s nothing. It’s a Bollywood song you wouldn’t-  I was just in my thoughts.” Zayn said while nervously twirling his pen in his hand.

 

“I noticed. I seem to always catch you by surprise don’t I?” Liam smiled and sat down in the chair next to Zayn. He watched Zayn curiously, taking him in head to toe as always, as Zayn just squirmed under his gaze with a blush painting his cheeks.

 

“Did you not go to eat lunch?” Liam inquired.

 

“The others went to the burger place down the street but I um… I had to do my afternoon prayers so I stayed back and just got a salad from downstairs.” Zayn stuttered out.

 

“Of course. Zuhur prayer right? The second one out of your five prayers?” Liam asked.

 

Zayn looked so stunned for a moment he just gaped at Liam.

 

“How do- how do you know?” Zayn asked sounding slightly shocked.

 

“Well for one my assistant and close friend Ameera is Pakistani and Muslim. And secondly I’m not dense bambi eyes,” Liam smiled at him.

 

Zayn blushed impossibly hard and stared down at his notebook while a heart-crushing smile over took his face.

 

“My death...” Liam murmured gazing at him.

 

“Sorry?” Zayn asked.

 

“Nothing babe. I actually came down here to see how you were doing. After everything that happened last night? You ran out of there so panicked and I was really worried. You’re good right?” Liam leaned forward and gently collected Zayn’s hands into his own.

 

Zayn’s facial expression changed into one of unease and anxiousness.

 

“I-I’m sorry Liam. I’m just so- I always get really- I just overreact and you probably think I’m stupid-“ Zayn blurted out nonsensically.

 

Liam grabbed the edges of Zayn’s desk chair and rolled him forward till they were impossibly close with absolutely no distance left. Zayn looked up at Liam from under his lashes and Liam grinned at him. Taking a hold of Zayn’s hands again Liam squeezed them.

 

“You are the furthest thing from stupid baby.” Liam said. “You’re a riddle I’m dying to solve. To find out what’s going on in here,” Liam stroked his fingers across from Zayn’s temple to his forehead, “And here,” he pressed the tips of his fingers over Zayn’s heart and it was beating so rapidly Liam could feel it against his fingertips.

 

Zayn gave Liam a small smile and was about to open his mouth to say something when Liam’s phone started ringing. Zayn started to withdraw his hand but Liam kept holding onto it with one hand and picked up his phone with his other hand.

 

“Yeah?” Liam asked in a clipped tone. Trust some idiot to interrupt him right now.

 

“Liam are you not in your office? I’ve been calling the office number for 15 minutes straight and then I had to call reception and Lesley told me you hadn’t returned?” Ameera’s voice came from the other end.

 

“Yes well I had other matters to take care of,” Liam answered while stroking Zayn’s knuckles gently with his thumb.

 

“Like? You know what never mind. You know the French contractor Marcel? His secretary Gina got back to me and said they’re flying straight back to Paris and won’t be coming to the meeting tomorrow. They won’t be back for two more weeks and we need the orders completed by one week. What do I do?” Ameera asked worried.

 

“Fuck,” Liam muttered. He glanced over at Zayn who was biting his lip and keeping his eyes trained around the room to politely avoid listening in on Liam’s conversation.

 

“Give me a minute baby,” Liam lifted Zayn’s hand and pressed a small kiss to the back of it then got up and walked across the room to take care of matters with Ameera.

 

“Did they absolutely refuse to make a trip out in the next week or so?” Liam asked Ameera.

 

“Yes they said it’s not plausible for them to return. I’m looking at your calendar for next week Liam and if you want this done fast you can make a quick trip out to Paris next week and hold a meeting with them there and get it done. You can be back in time to go to Chicago to look at the club as well.” Ameera said.

 

Liam ran a hand through his hair sighing and mentally jogged through his calendar. With the bachelor party this weekend and the Chicago trip next week, could he squeeze in a meeting in Paris? But he needed to meet with these people fast to be able to put the plans for the expansion of the Paris nightclub through.

 

“Okay do it. Call them up and schedule a meeting in Paris. I’ll make a one night trip there to sort this out.” Liam said. He was so absorbed in hearing Ameera list out some details that he vaguely noticed someone enter the intern’s room. The guy looked familiar but he couldn’t place him. He was probably just another one of the hundreds of employees who worked here. Zayn was standing up and making a stack of files and hadn’t noticed the other person enter either. Then the boy opened his mouth,

 

“Zayn I-”

 

Zayn’s head shot up towards the guy and seeing him he jerked back so suddenly he dropped the papers he was holding and stumbled over the leg of the chair behind him.

 

“Zayn please let me just explain,” The brown-haired boy moved forward and grabbed Zayn’s hand.

 

Then it hit Liam all at once. It was the son of a bitch from last night. Liam’s next movements happened so quickly it was all one blur of anger. He shut his phone while Ameera was mid speech and he took two quick strides towards the guy and gave him a hard shove away from Zayn.

 

“Did I fucking stutter last night when I said I would break your face if you touched him again?” Liam said in a voice dripping with venom.

 

The boy had stumbled back from Liam’s push and looked completely shocked as he just now took in Liam’s presence.

 

“I- I just wanted to apologize to Zayn. I was drunk and let my feelings take control-“ the boy started.

 

“Oh you think your weak ass words of apology mean anything? Where was this fucking logic last night? Or was your tiny excuse of a dick thinking for you in place of your non-existent brain making you act like a low-life fuck?” Liam started towards him angrily and grabbed the front of the boy’s shirt as he hit the wall behind him with his hands up.

 

“Liam no- Damian just leave!” Zayn sounded panicked.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.” The Damian boy said practically cowering.

 

“What the fuck are you even doing in my office? Who the fuck let you through?” Liam asked completely pissed off.

 

“Liam he works here.” Zayn came and stood in front of him. He looked up at Liam with pleading eyes. Why Zayn was trying to save this asshole from any hell Liam was about to let loose on him was a mystery. The boy just saw the good in everyone. Liam moved back away from Damian a little.

 

“I think the fuck not. Pack up and leave. I don’t need people with mentalities like you working here. So get the fuck out before I throw you out.” Liam said viciously.

 

“No- No please don’t throw him out of his job. It’s whatever. I don’t care. Damian just leave for now and come back tomorrow or something.” Zayn said.

 

Damian just stared at them and then was about to leave when he moved towards Zayn again and grabbed his arm.

 

“Zayn I just wanted to say –“

 

“Are you fucking-“ Liam yelled angrily and not being able to hold back anymore he punched Damian who reeled back holding his nose. Zayn stood there in shock staring at them.

 

“How fucking dense are you that you can’t seem to understand three simple words: don’t – touch –him. Can you not tell when your touch is making someone uncomfortable? There’s more where that came from if you don’t get the fuck out of here in exactly two seconds.” Liam stood in between Zayn and Damian.

 

“Ok, Ok fuck. I’ll go. I’m sorry Zayn. I’m sorry Mr. Payne.” He was holding his nose looking shocked and afraid as he turned and ran out of the office.

 

“Zayn,” Liam turned around and touched Zayn’s face. “You okay?” Liam ran his hand down Zayn’s face and arm and gripped his hand.

 

“I- I’m okay. It’s fine. You don’t have to worry about me. He’s just- I’m sure he really is sorry and realizes he made a mistake. You didn’t have to punch him for me.” Zayn said in a small voice but Liam could see he was deeply affected.

 

“Zayn he kept touching you repeatedly after being told not to and despite you looking extremely uncomfortable. I think he deserved it and probably more.” Liam was cradling Zayn’s jaw and stroking his chin with his thumb. Liam could see Zayn was having some sort of internal battle with himself as he kept his gaze down with worry gleaming across his face.

 

Before he could pull Zayn into his arms, loud chatter came from outside the office and Zayn stepped away rubbing at his face. Liam was still looking at Zayn when voices entered the room.

 

“ZayZay I brought you a brownie I know you’re a slut for all things chocolatey- Oh. Hi Liam.” It was Harry. He looked at Liam a little confused then to Zayn who was still turned away. There were two girls behind Harry looking a little shocked too. Liam knew one of them- Serayah he remembered- she had worked upstairs for him last summer. The other blond one, currently flashing him heart eyes, he did not know.

 

“Hey Harry. All good?” Liam asked giving him a small pat on the shoulder.

 

“Most definitely.” Harry smiled then looked at Zayn with a concerned expression. Zayn was just picking up the dropped files ignoring everyone in the room.

 

“It’s time to surprise Raj with his cake!” Duvall and another woman entered the room.

 

“Mr. Payne what a nice surprise.” Duvall looked at him more so confused than shocked.

 

“Well I’m glad my visit to my own office can be viewed as a nice surprise,” Liam said jokingly.

 

“Oh no it always is! Would you like to stay for the cake as well? We’re about to surprise Raj for his birthday with a cake and it would be nice to have you there too.” Duvall said with a smile looking a little hopeful.

 

Liam looked back at Zayn who was doing his best, as humanly possible as it was, to act invisible.

 

“Sure, why not.” Liam said.

 

“Wonderful! If everyone can go to conference room two that’s where we’ll be doing it. Raj is going to come there in about five minutes so one of you…. Ah, Zayn, yes you bring the cake from the fridge. It’s not heavy or anything so you’ll be fine. It’s in a white box, lift it out and very carefully bring it over to the conference room. And the rest of you hurry up we have to get back to work afterwards too.” Duvall then turned on his heel and left.

 

“Who says he’s all work and no play?” Liam said dryly.

 

Everyone else in the room chuckled and slowly filed out. Harry waited a few seconds giving a quick glance to Liam and then Zayn. Then realizing he had probably intruded earlier as well, he walked out too. When they were left alone again Liam walked over to stand behind Zayn and squeezed his arm gently.

 

“You good?” Liam asked softly. Zayn nodded slowly.

 

“Okay. Then I’ll see you in a few bambi eyes.” Liam whispered and before Zayn could react, he pressed a quick kiss to the tip of Zayn’s flaming red ear and walked away.

 

**

 

Already nervous and a little strung-out from Liam surprising him yet again, the encounter with Damian triggered another mini-anxiety attack in Zayn. He needed to get to a quiet room fast and do a few breathing exercises to calm himself otherwise this would spin out of control. He was in the kitchen carefully pulling the white box out of the fridge. He removed the chocolate cake that had “Happy Birthday Raj” written on it. Lifting it up carefully, he started towards the conference room.

 

Later when he would think back on this incident he would realize that many things could have been done to avoid what was about to happen. But at that moment as Zayn walked into the conference carrying the cake, whilst battling a mini-anxiety attack, he didn’t know what he could have done differently. He was balancing the cake on shaking hands as he walked into the conference room where mostly everyone from the office was crammed. Zayn spotted Liam leaning against the table with his arms crossed as he talked to two people who worked somewhere on this floor. Harry was off to the side conversing with Serayah. Pretty much everyone’s attention was diverted elsewhere as Zayn walked in holding the cake. Zayn’s mind was so overpowered with wave after wave of anxious thoughts and his body was feeling the effects too. He had a tight grip on the cake but he didn’t see the chair that had been pulled out in front of him. He was walking forward towards the table to set it down when his foot hit the leg of the withdrawn chair. At that moment, it all seemed to be happening in slow motion. When his foot hit the leg of the chair Zayn felt a shock of panic. Then he felt himself stumble forward and after that everything slowed down into a small horror film he watched play out with his own eyes. He flew forward and landed on the ground, the cake smashed to the floor, and Zayn’s shirt and hands were covered in it too from where it had initially hit his chest. As he stared down in gut-wrenching horror he realized he had also landed the cake on someone’s shoes. Panic filled tears filled his eyes as his heart seized up. He shakily looked up and met Liam’s eyes. Of course. Why wouldn’t it be Liam? Since Liam had entered his life everything had been playing out like one long episode of Punk’d and this was the epic final episode. There was no coming back. Liam was looking down at Zayn in a bit of a shock then he quickly leaned down to grip Zayn’s shoulders to help him up. At this point Zayn noticed the entire room was pin-drop silent.

 

“What did you do? You absolute foolish incompetent worthless boy!” Mr. Duvall yelled furiously as he stormed forward and looked at the smashed cake then at Zayn’s face.

 

“Hey! It was an honest mistake!” Harry said as he quickly came forward and pulled Zayn into his side.

 

Zayn was mortified. He couldn’t dare lift his eyes from the floor. Even if he could there was no point because they were brimming with tears, clouding his vision. His body was cold and trembling like a leaf. He begged Allah to kill him right then and there because he didn’t want to live for a single second more.

 

“Mistake? What mistake? He couldn’t carry out a task as simple as bringing in a cake and setting it down! He’s fucking useless that’s what he is! How did such a stupid and inept human being get hired to work here?” Duvall yelled looking at Zayn.

 

“Jesus fucking Christ John, shut the fuck up or so help me God!” Liam’s angry voice boomed through the room.

 

Duvall along with everyone in the room fell more silent than they had been before as they all slowly turned to look at Liam. Zayn couldn’t tear his eyes from the floor but he could feel anger radiating off from Liam’s body in vicious waves.    

 

“Mr. Payne he-“ Duvall started.

 

“I don’t fucking care John!” Liam snapped. “I’ve put up with your shit long enough, but you bitching about a dropped cake right now is below even your standards.”

 

“But he- he dropped the entire cake,” Duvall started pathetically, “Even your shoes are ruined. The boy destroyed-”

 

“Either you shut the fuck up right this second, or you pack up your shit and leave this office. Up to you.” Liam’s voice was laced with so much venom Zayn shuddered. He could practically hear everyone in the room gulp.

 

“Your issue seems to be less with a cake and more with forcing your tiny bit of authority onto everyone under you. I’ve had enough. Any more bullshit I hear from you, I won’t blink before I get you replaced. Trust me, it won’t be hard.” Liam bit out. Duvall was mute at this point, probably with shock.

 

“And if it’s a fucking 30$ cake you’re whining about, then here.” Liam tossed a few 50$ dollar bills onto the table beside where he and Duvall stood. “Buy yourself as many cakes as you want as long as it gets you to shut your fucking mouth.”

 

Everyone in the room stood wide-eyed and frozen. They didn’t dare speak or move in case Liam’s anger got involuntarily thrown their way. Zayn himself was glued to Harry’s side as he stood rooted to his spot wishing himself to disappear as he held back his tears as much as he could. He didn’t notice Liam had moved over to him till he felt Liam take his hand pulling him from Harry’s side.

 

“Come with me,” Liam murmured, voice back to its normal tone.

 

Zayn didn’t dare question Liam, he just let him lead him from the room. Behind him he could still hear pin-drop silence as no one seemed to have recovered from the shocking turn of events. People had been expecting cake and laughs not the verbal shit-storm that had just gone down. Zayn blindly followed along as Liam led him over to the elevators and punched the button to go up. Zayn stood rigidly beside him still in his panic-induced state. Liam was silent too. As the elevator arrived Liam gently tugged Zayn’s arm to pull him into the elevator. Zayn didn’t notice which button Liam pressed all he knew was that after a couple of seconds they seemed to arrive on the 50th floor. Zayn recognized it from yesterday when he and Harry had been up here. Only one day had passed and Zayn had been through more anxiety, tears and anger then he had in the past year. The universe was having a go at his life for laughs most likely. Liam, still gripping Zayn’s hand, led him through the open lobby area of the floor towards the other side that Zayn hadn’t seen yesterday.

 

“Mr. Payne you-“ one of the secretaries started and stopped, most likely seeing Liam leading a cake-covered Zayn along.

 

“Don’t let anyone into my office Rosie. Nobody at all.” Liam said in a stern voice then led Zayn over to where there were two massive grey doors.

 

Liam pulled open the door and led Zayn in then shut the door behind him. Still silent he took Zayn over to where there was a door in the corner of the room. Zayn wasn’t looking up or around. He wasn’t taking in his surroundings as he was just in a battle against himself to try and hold back a full blown panic attack. Liam had opened the second door and lead Zayn into what turned out to be a bathroom. It was gleaming in silver, whites and blacks and was complete with a toilet, double sink and even a shower room. It was at this point that Liam let go of Zayn’s hand and reached over to pull a towel of off the rod beside the sink.

 

“Zayn,” Liam started gently. He touched Zayn’s cheek with one hand as he lifted the towel to clean up some of the cake from Zayn’s shirt.

 

Then it just hit him. Zayn took a ragged breath that sounded more like his lungs were shattering and choked out a cry. He lifted his hands to his face, covering it, as the tears unleashed all at once. Everything that had started off the moment Damian had entered the intern’s room, to the mortifying incident in the conference room just now, all let loose at once. Sobs wracked his body as he shook uncontrollably and cried into the hands covering his face.

 

“Zayn! Fuck,” Liam quickly grabbed a hold of Zayn and helped him sit down onto the closed lid of the toilet. Liam kneeled in front of Zayn and wrapped his hands gently around Zayn’s wrists rubbing them gently. Zayn refused to move his face from his hands as he continued to cry. Great. As if he hadn’t embarrassed himself enough in front of Liam, now he was crying too. Zayn wanted to disappear into the floor and never return.

 

“Baby…” Liam said soothingly as he rubbed his hands up and down Zayn’s arms. “Duvall is a piece of shit. None of that was your fault. Mistakes happen, he just doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up. Please don’t cry sweetheart.” Liam continued to rub Zayn’s arms waiting for him to collect himself.

 

Zayn slowly lowered his hands and took a shaky breath. He knew his face was probably covered in tear tracks and his eyes red. He looked at Liam who was watching him concerned. Liam cradled Zayn’s face and wiped away his tears with his thumbs. Then he leaned forward and kissed Zayn’s forehead. He kept his lips pressed to Zayn’s forehead for a few moments as his hands still cradled his jaw. Zayn felt his heart lurch at the unexpected sweet kiss to his forehead. Liam continued to surprise him with these gentle gestures and Zayn felt his already weak heart might burst.

 

“I should have thrown him out then and there. Who the fuck does he think he is saying that shit to you? He made you cry and I want to fucking...” Liam sounded furious again.

 

“But he’s right!” Zayn let out hysterically. “I’m useless, w-worthless, I- I’m incompetent. I’m just so stupid! Everyone knows it!” Zayn cried out. Everything Duvall had said rang true to him. This is what his anxiety fuelled mind whispered to him on his bad nights, and hearing Duvall say it out loud confirmed everything.

 

“No.” Liam said sternly. “Not a single thing that asshole said is true. You’re fucking brilliant Zayn. You’re intelligent, kind, talented, and so so beautiful. Inside and out. You can’t say that around me Zayn. I won’t take any of that. His audacity to even say all that to you? I could punch him. You need to know that you’re incredible. Fucking incredible baby.” Liam said while looking straight into his eyes.

 

Zayn’s eyes welled up again and he started crying silently and this time Liam just gathered him in his arms and hugged him tightly to his chest. Zayn felt- protected. Warm and secure and protected. Liam hugged him so tightly and Zayn just took advantage of the opportunity, knowing it might never return, and he buried his face in Liam’s chest closing his eyes. His hands clutched weakly at the front of Liam’s shirt.

 

“H-how do you… why do you care so much about me… I don’t understand.” Zayn mumbled into Liam’s chest sniffling.

 

“Because you’re you. You’re Zayn. Zayn who’s taken control of my heart and mind with every smile, every word, every look. The fact that you blow me away every time we meet should be enough to show you how incredible you are. How much power you,” Liam slowly pulled back and tapped his finger between Zayn’s eyes, “And these eyes hold over me. You’re brilliant Zayn Malik.” Liam whispered the last bit and Zayn looked back at him silently.

 

 

Zayn realized that he had stopped crying and his body stopped trembling. He was sat here with Liam’s arms wrapped around him, as he kneeled in front of him looking Zayn dead in the eyes with assurance.

 

“I haven’t even done anything. All I do is embarrass myself. H-How is that brilliant.” Zayn looked down at where his hands were clenched around Liam’s shirt. Underneath his hands Zayn could feel how rock hard and defined Liam’s chest was. With the distressed emotions running through his mind right now he didn’t need to go _there_ as well. Not now.

 

“You don’t even know baby. You don’t even know what you do to me.” Liam sounded fond as he took a hold of Zayn’s hands and brought them to his lips kissing them delicately.

 

Zayn blushed and noticed he was still covered in cake and had transferred it onto Liam as well.

 

“I ruined your clothes. I’m so sorry, God-“ Zayn’s voice trembled as he tried to futilely rub away the icing on Liam’s, most likely extremely expensive, dress shirt.

 

Liam chuckled. “You’re adorable,” he said full of fond, then he got up and walked over to the other side of the bathroom. He pulled open a hidden wardrobe and Zayn wondered what other things could possibly be hidden around here.

 

“I can give you something to change into as well because your shirt is ruined,” Liam gazed at Zayn.

 

“N-no that’s okay Liam I’ll be fine.” Zayn said as he tugged at his shirt feeling extremely uncomfortable but he couldn’t just take Liam’s clothes from him.

 

“Zayn. You need to change. I keep a few things in here in case of emergencies. There’s not many options. I doubt you’ll want a dress shirt,” Liam smiled at him. “Take this though.” Liam walked over to Zayn and handed him a red and black blocky plaid shirt.

 

“It might be big on you, but you should be fine till you can go home and change.”  
  
Zayn silently took the shirt and stood up awkwardly wondering if Liam planned on staying in here as he changed.

 

Liam, sensing his awkwardness, laughed. “Don’t worry bambi eyes you can change and wash up in here I’m going to use the washroom outside my office. When you’re done just come out into my office okay?” Zayn nodded and Liam smiled at him then slipped out of the bathroom.

 

When the door was shut, Zayn let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. What was even going on? What the fuck was his life these days?

 

“Please Allah. I can’t handle any more fuck ups and embarrassment. I feel like I might die.” Zayn could feel tears welling up in his eyes again so he quickly pushed his thoughts away trying not to dwell on the horror of today. He pulled off his ruined shirt putting it aside, and cleaned off his body with some water and a towel. He then pulled on Liam’s plaid shirt. The first thing that hit him was the fact that he could smell Liam’s cologne on it. The very cologne that invaded his senses whenever he was near Liam and made him lose his ability to think. It was so intoxicating. Zayn lifted the sleeve and inhaled a little bit. Realizing he was acting like a creep, he felt his cheeks heat up and he quickly did up the buttons haphazardly. He then splashed some water on his red and tear stained cheeks to bring some normalcy black and ran his hand through his hair fixing it up. He looked at himself in the mirror and realized just how big Liam’s shirt was on him. It was swallowing him whole. He rolled the sleeves up a couple times to prevent them from hanging over his hands. Zayn realized to his own embarrassment that wearing Liam’s shirt made a rush of arousal and happiness run through him.

 

“Stop getting ahead of yourself again.” Zayn muttered to himself.

 

Taking a few deep breaths he walked out of the bathroom. Now that he was coherent he took in Liam’s office properly. It was massive. The grey and white marbled floors continued in here as well and the walls were all white. One side of the room had a massive wooden desk with a chair behind it. There were steps that led up to that part and behind it the wall was completely made of floor to ceiling glass windows. The rest of the office was on the other side. One side had leather sofas centered around a coffee table and a TV mounted on the wall. The other side had a small bar behind which was a mini fridge and some cupboards. Everything was in black, whites and greys. All very sleek and classy. Like Liam himself, Zayn thought. Zayn heard the door open and looked up to see Liam enter the office from the massive doors. He had changed into a different white shirt and had also changed the shoes Zayn had destroyed. Zayn realized Liam had stopped suddenly in his tracks. Looking him in the eyes, Zayn realized that Liam was staring at his shirt on Zayn’s body. He had a dark look in his eyes and his body seemed frozen. He then looked up and met Zayn’s eyes.

 

“You look…. My clothes look good on you. You keep killing me baby.” He shook his head murmuring and came over to Zayn.

 

Zayn bit his lip unsure of how to reply. Liam came right up to Zayn and tugged on the hem of the shirt.

 

“Although you didn’t quite button it right,” Liam chuckled.

 

“Oh,” Zayn said embarrassed staring down at the shirt and realizing he had done up all the buttons wrong.

 

“You’re all right babe.” Liam fondly swept his knuckles under Zayn’s chin who smiled shyly back at him.

 

“Do you want something to drink?” Liam asked and walked behind the mini bar.

 

“Oh um. Water I guess.” Zayn replied and crossed over to stand on the other side of the bar across from Liam.

 

Liam smiled at Zayn and handed him a bottle of water. Zayn reached over and picked up the bottle of water and took a tentative sip. He was well aware of the fact that he had just had a massive panic attack in front of Liam and he wasn’t sure if Liam would ask him about it or just forget it happened. Zayn wasn’t sure which option he was more afraid of.

 

“You don’t have to talk about anything if you don’t want to Zayn.” Liam leaned over the bar resting his arms against it.

 

“Don’t feel like you have to explain anything to me. I just hope that you’re okay now.” Liam rested his hand over Zayn’s and gently squeezed it.

 

Zayn nodded and put aside the water bottle. He realized that he wasn’t exactly ready to explain to Liam how his mind was a victim to anxiety and constant panic attacks. He knew if he started now it would turn into word-vomit and he didn’t want to embarrass himself any more for today. That quota had been filled.

 

“You can stay up here for the rest of the day or you can go home if you want. I’ll get my driver to take you back to Brooklyn. You’ve had a long day.” Liam said gently stroking the back of Zayn’s hand.

 

“I’m used to it by now.” Zayn mumbled.

 

Liam just watched him silently. Zayn knew Liam wasn’t prodding any further respecting Zayn’s decision to not talk about it anymore. But why he looked so concerned for Zayn’s well being continued to baffle him.

 

“And um, I should probably go back to the office. If I went home or stayed up here Mr. Duvall would just need even more of a reason to hate me or fire me.” Zayn said feeling a little scared for what would happen when he returned.

 

“He can’t do anything. He literally has no power to do anything to you. He’s on thin ice after how he behaved with you, and if he gives you any more shit I will literally fire him. No more chances for him.” Liam said seriously.

 

“I just don’t get it,” Zayn felt utterly confused. “Why would you do that for me? I’m a mess. Why do you even…” Zayn sighed and looked down at where Liam’s hand still covered his. Liam’s hand was warm and bigger than his and that thought alone stimulated a shock of arousal in his body.

 

“Maybe soon enough you will,” Liam was watching him with that intense probing stare again as if he was planning or thinking of something.

 

“I’m going to Ibiza tomorrow for the weekend. I’m throwing one of my best friends a bachelor party there. I probably won’t see you again till Monday because I won’t be in the office tomorrow morning either. But I’m going to worried about you Zayn. I’m going to be thinking about you every second. You should give me your number so I can check up on you.” Liam said seriously then pulled his iPhone from his pocket.

 

Zayn felt a little stunned. Why would Liam want his number? Why would he be so worried about Zayn that he would want to check up on him? Zayn felt his heart start to race. Liam’s devotion to Zayn was confusing the fuck out of him because it made the part of Zayn that was crushing hard on Liam scream with happiness. But the part of Zayn that was imprisoned in a cage of anxiety was scared and confused. It kept reminding him that Liam could never want someone as foolish as him. He would get annoyed or bored of Zayn really fast. What did he have to offer?

 

“Zayn.” Liam wrapped his hand around Zayn’s arm below his elbow. “Can I have your number?”

 

Zayn made a choked sound. “Why Liam?” he asked in a small voice. “I’m not-“

 

“Zayn,” Liam tugged Zayn closer over the bar by his arm. “Can I have your number?” Liam asked again in a low murmur.

 

“I don’t know, why would you...” Zayn’s eyes flitted confused over Liam’s face, watching as the man stared back at him seriously.  Liam then smiled at him and tugged him even more closer till their faces were less than a centimetre apart. Liam’s unabashed grin made Zayn lower his face. Liam tilted his face up with a finger under his chin.

 

“Can I _please_ have your number cutie?” Liam was grinning at Zayn as his finger was still placed under Zayn’s chin holding it up.

 

Zayn blushed deeply and lowered his eyes again as his voice started to stutter. Fuck. Liam and his damn ability to turn Zayn to complete mush, that rendered his voice completely useless. And all these little pet-names like cutie, baby, bambi eyes and baby boy (fuck especially that one) were going to give him a stroke.

 

“W-why...” Zayn stammered out.

 

Liam pulled Zayn even more close so the remaining bit of space was gone too. Liam’s face was right beside Zayn’s ear and Zayn’s eyes closed automatically as he felt Liam’s warm breath tickle his ear and cheek.

 

“Baby,” Liam’s sexy and slow drawl stirred something deep inside Zayn. “Can I please have your number?” Liam ran his lips softly along the shell of Zayn’s ear.

 

Zayn’s breath quickened. Since when did he become so responsive and sensitive to such small touches? Not that he had anything to compare it too. But fuck everything. Liam was going to kill him. Murder him with his heart-wrenching gestures, soft yet electrifying touches and the mind-numbing things he said in that insanely sultry voice.

 

“Okay,” Zayn whispered his insecurities and confusion melting away in that moment.

 

“Thank you,” Liam murmured and pressed the softest kiss below Zayn’s ear.

 

The way Zayn’s insides screamed and released metaphorical confetti, made his skin alight with goosebumps in response. He couldn’t help the blush and smile that broke out across his face.

 

“You’re too fucking beautiful when you blush and smile like that. You’re gonna give me a heart attack baby boy.” Liam said and moved back. When Zayn blushed even more deeply, Liam smirked and ran his fingers down Zayn’s jaw.

 

“You’ll be okay though?” Liam asked.

 

Zayn nodded and gave Liam a small smile to reassure him. He then took Liam’s phone from his hand and shakily entered his number then returned it back to Liam, who smiled at Zayn and tapped away at his phone probably entering a contact name.

 

“I- I should probably return downstairs.” Zayn said.

 

“Okay,” Liam watched him carefully. “Just let me know if Duvall tries anything. Don’t feel afraid to let me know Zayn. I mean I have other ways of finding out too but I’d prefer it if you yourself let me know if Duvall or anyone else makes you uncomfortable. They’ll have some serious shit coming their way.” Liam said sounding slightly threatening.

 

Zayn just nodded again not knowing how to respond to Liam’s seriousness feeling a little dumbfounded himself. Zayn then slowly drew his hand away from Liam and turned away to leave his office and go back down. He stopped a few steps later and turned back to see Liam watching him with a series of different emotions on his face.

 

“Thank you Liam. You know for- everything.” Zayn said while fiddling with the hem of Liam’s oversized shirt on his body.

 

“Anything for you bambi eyes.” Liam said with a grin. “I’ll see you soon.”

 

Zayn gave Liam a smile then hurried out before the dancing neurons in his body exploded outside with uncontained joy and nervous excitement.

 

**

 

Zayn had been smiling the entire ride back down in the elevator. He touched the spot behind his ear where Liam had pressed his lips and left his burning trace behind. Zayn felt himself falling further and further into the pool of ‘head-over-heels-gone-for-you’ emotions. There was no coming back. His mind, body and soul had all sat down together and decided to name themselves over to Liam Payne and Zayn was far past the line of no return.

 

When he walked back onto his floor everyone had gone back to their work. But when he walked into the main office space it was like every eye in the room turned towards him. Zayn burned with embarrassment. A few hours ago he was the nameless intern that no knew or cared for. Now he was the face no one on this floor would ever forget. Zayn could feel his heart quickening again so he quickly hurried along towards the intern’s room. When he entered, he saw Harry, Amanda and Serayah all huddled together talking. They stopped immediately when he entered. Harry bolted up and ran over to Zayn and pulled him into a hug.

 

“ZayZay. God babe are you okay? Did you have a panic attack? I’m so fucking pissed at that asshole but fuck babe are you all right?” Harry’s face was painted in so much concern that Zayn felt himself melt with love for his best friend.

 

“I’m okay Harry.” Zayn said softly and hugged Harry back tightly.

 

“Duvall is an asshole Zayn,” Serayah said. “Everyone in the office is on your side. They all know he acted like a complete dick and people were so happy Mr. Payne told him off. Some people can’t contain their excitement over it honestly.” Serayah smiled at Zayn as she came over to him and gently squeezed his shoulder.

 

“I agree. When Mr. Payne was screaming, everybody was like ‘woah holy fucking shit’ but when you left Duvall stormed out of there embarrassed and people were honestly laughing at him.” Amanda grinned at Zayn. “Plus an angry Mr. Payne was fucking hot to experience.” She smirked as the other two groaned at her and Zayn felt a pulsing irritation at the girl.

 

“Put some ice on it girl.” Serayah rolled her eyes.

 

At that point Duvall walked into the room and they all stopped laughing suddenly. Zayn felt his body freeze up as he saw Duvall give him the most iciest hateful glare Zayn had ever seen.

 

“That first time I saw Mr. Payne with you in the kitchen I was honestly a little confused as to why you two seemed to be behaving with this familiarity when it was just your first day. But after what happened today my suspicions were confirmed.” Duvall sneered.

 

“What are you implying?” Harry bit out sounding angry.

 

“I’m not stupid. But know this for sure boy,” Duvall came closer to Zayn. “Spreading your legs for Mr. Payne won’t bring you anything.”

 

Zayn felt the ground get pulled from below his feet. Was that what this man honestly thought was going on? Zayn wanted to puke.

 

“Excuse me?” Harry asked incredulously.

 

“Pipe down kid. Your friend here was clearly able to fuck his way into getting this internship but it won’t last. You should know something Zayn, Mr. Payne tires of his meaningless fucks really fast. You may be his boy toy of the month and can get everyone in this building to bow down for you but in a few weeks or less he’ll toss you away and then you’ll have nothing. This internship will be the most you’ll ever accomplish.” Duvall bit out angrily.

 

“You better shut the fuck up you old bastard. Zayn is not sleeping with Mr. Payne and he earned this internship fair and square. You might want to watch yourself though, keep talking out of your ass and you might find yourself on the street as promised by your boss.” Harry was red with anger as Zayn stood there once again feeling like a statue in front of this man.

 

Duvall laughed sardonically. “Your petty threats mean nothing. I’m not going anywhere. And I don’t give a fuck about what you might run and tell Mr. Payne. I’m not going to fire you or anything because I don’t need to deal with the wrath of a man whose obsession with a boy controls his anger. Just know that it won’t last. And that in a few weeks, you’ll be nowhere. Now get back to work because I’m still your boss and you will do as I say.” Duvall gave one last hateful look to Zayn then left.

 

“What a fucking- you should tell Liam, Zayn. Get this fucker fired. An asshole like him shouldn’t be allowed to work here,” Harry gripped Zayn’s arms.

 

“No Harry. You know I hate confrontation. And I don’t want to ruin the man’s career. Just forget it happened and don’t tell Liam. Please Harry.” Zayn looked at Harry pleadingly. Harry just sighed and hugged Zayn tightly and kissed the crown of his head.

 

“He’s a little bitch Zayn. He’s just spouting shit because of all the embarrassment he faced earlier. He was insulted in front of the entire floor by the boss. He’s angry and embarrassed but he’ll soon be over it. Don’t worry.” Serayah rubbed Zayn’s arm comfortingly. Zayn smiled back at her whispering a thank you.

 

After a few moments of silence Amanda spoke up. “Are you really sleeping with Mr. Payne?”

 

**

 

It was close to midnight as Liam sat on the roof of his penthouse. His penthouse was the entire top two floors of the building but the massive roof of the building became his third floor. It was infused with an infinity pool circling along one end and a massive patio and open space on the other side that he used for parties. It had been an insanely humid day so after a late-night swim he sat on the patio smoking and going through emails. Niall had called in earlier to confirm the trip details for tomorrow. Everything was set for tomorrow night and their party of 15 people would be off to Ibiza for a bachelor weekend Josh would never forget.  Liam’s phone buzzed beside him and he looked down and noticed a text from Alycia. Knowing what it probably was, Liam didn’t even bother opening it and he just deleted the message. His mind was stuck on another certain person. He just couldn’t ever get the boy out of his mind. Every minute of every day his mind was clouded with visions of the boy. And right now the certain image of Zayn in his shirt was seared into Liam’s mind. The second he had walked in and seen him, Liam he felt arousal like a punch to his gut. He wanted to rip every article of clothing off Zayn’s body and fuck him right on the desk. Liam groaned and lightly pressed down on his cock that started to twitch with interest in his sweats.

 

“Fucking bambi eyes.” Liam muttered.

 

His phone suddenly started to ring and noticing it was Ameera he picked it up confused.

 

“Meemz?” Liam asked.

 

“Liam why is Alycia calling me so late like a crazy person asking me why you’ve been ignoring her calls and messages all day? She’s fucking scary Liam and I don’t wanna deal with her.” Ameera said sounding annoyed.

 

“Fucking hell. She can’t take a hint.” Liam muttered. “I’m sorry Meemz I’ll take care of it. You just block her number or something. I told her I don’t have time these days but she can’t quit. She knows whatever is between us is nothing more than a few good fucks, I don’t know why she’s suddenly acting so strange.” Liam muttered.

 

“Your dick must perform magic considering how addicted these people get to it.” Ameera scoffed.

 

“Well you’ll never get to find out Meemz.” Liam smirked.

 

“Ew. Don’t want to either.” Ameera said.

 

“I know Meemz. You’re practically my little sister.” Liam said.

 

“Tell that to my parents. They think that me spending all this time with you must mean we’re involved.” Ameera groaned out.

 

“Your parents are adorable.” Liam laughed. Then remembering something he sat up pulling his MacBook up with him.

 

“Hey Meemz. Do you listen to Bollywood songs?” Liam asked.

 

“Religiously. Come one Liam you know me.” Ameera said.

 

“If I say a few words to you, do you think you would be able to tell which song I’m talking about?” Liam asked.

 

“Maybe… why? Where did you hear a Bollywood song?” Ameera said suspiciously.

 

“No questions Meemz.” Liam said.

 

“Ugh fine. Try me. You’ll probably butcher it but give it a shot.” Ameera said chuckling.

 

“Okay... and if you laugh at me I will fire you, or worse make you go work for Niall.” Liam said.

 

“Jesus fucking… okay wow don’t want that. Go ahead.” Ameera said

 

“It was something like _tere bin… nahi…. Nahi lage…. Tere bin jiya…_ that’s the best I can think of. Oh wait another line was like _ab to aa ja_ or something.” Liam had a haunting and vivid memory of Zayn singing those words. But Zayn’s voice had been so soft it had been hard to pick up on the exact words.

 

“Hmm… lucky for you I think I know what you’re talking about. I’m gonna send you a link and let me know if it sounds familiar okay?” Ameera asked.

 

“Okay.” Liam said. He shut his phone and leaned back closing his eyes remembering Zayn singing again. The boy was so beautiful inside and out and now Liam had discovered that his voice was flawless as well. He sang like an angel. His phone beeped and he picked it up to see Ameera had sent him a link to a YouTube video. Liam clicked on it and immediately a beautiful tune filled the air. The male singer’s voice flowed out and Liam immediately recognized the tune from what Zayn had been singing. As the first few lines of the song started Liam realized it was definitely the same words Zayn had been singing. Liam smiled as he thought of the fact that Zayn’s angelic voice had seemed better than the song’s actual singer. He was so engrossed in listening to the song, that he almost missed the vibration of his phone. He picked up his phone to see another link from Ameera.

 

Meemz: Since I love you. Here’s the translation.

 

She had linked a webpage that translated the song and Liam hurriedly opened it. The website wrote out the lyrics of the song and translated them. After hearing the actual song Liam knew that Zayn had been singing the first few lines and started reading the translation for those specific ones:

 

 _yeh raatein abh nahi dhadakti_ (these nights don’t beat (like a heartbeat) anymore)

 _din bhi saansein nahi lete,_ (these days don’t breathe anymore)

 _ab to, aa jao mere soniya,_ (please come back my beloved)

 _baatein reh gayin adhoori mere labon peh zaroori_ (so many important words have been left unsaid on my lips)

 _aake sun jao mere soniya,_ (please come back and listen to them my beloved)

 _tere bin nahi laage jiya,_ (without you my heart/soul is restless)

 _tere bin, ab toh aa jao piya,_ (without you, please come to me now beloved)

 _tere bin nahi laage jiyaa_ (without you my heart/soul is restless)

 

Liam’s eyes roamed slowly over the translation and his heart beat quickened. This was- fuck this was beautiful. And Zayn had been singing these words. For some unknown reason Liam’s heart was feeling wrenched and his breathing felt shallow. Zayn had sounded so beautiful singing these words and now knowing what they meant, it felt all the more special. Liam realized he wanted to hear Zayn sing this again more than anything.

 

“What are you doing to me bambi eyes?” Liam murmured gazing up at the dark sky.

 

Liam knew he wanted the boy, that was simple. But Zayn was no ordinary boy. He was the epitome of innocence and kindness and deserved to be treated with gentle and sweet care. Liam wanted to win over the boy but it wouldn’t be easy. Zayn was constantly doubting himself and wondering why Liam cared for him. It would be difficult to draw the boy from his shell and to show him just how special he was. As Liam thought of ways he could win over Zayn, something popped into his head. He smiled to himself realizing he knew exactly what to do.

 

“I think I know how to get to your delicate heart baby boy.” Liam said to himself as he leaned back and closed his eyes letting the melody of the song take over his mind.

 

**

 

In another part of the city, in Brooklyn, Zayn lay awake in his bed playing the events of the day over in his mind. He pushed away all the awful parts of the day and kept replaying everything that happened with Liam over the course of the day. He couldn’t forget Liam’s gentle kisses. The one on the back of his hand in the intern’s room, to the tip of his ear, then upstairs the forehead kiss in the bathroom and finally the one placed below his ear. Every kiss had left a searing mark on Zayn’s body. Zayn traced every spot on his skin where Liam’s lips had touched him and he smiled to himself.

 

“Allah…. This man.” Zayn sighed and rolled over in his bed. He hadn’t taken off Liam’s shirt all day and even now he slept in only the shirt and his briefs. It was comfortable and most importantly Zayn could smell Liam’s cologne. He wouldn’t tell anyone that, but it was driving him wild. And occasionally he lifted his arm to inhale the scent from the sleeve.

 

Soon enough he fell asleep and dreamed vividly of Liam doing things to him as simple as holding him close and kissing him all over his face, to wild changes of scenery where he dreamt of Liam pinning him to the very bar in his office and fucking him while Zayn wore nothing but Liam’s red and black plaid shirt.

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I know it might seem like I keep putting poor baby zaynie through a lot of emotional hell, but that's anxiety and it can be a bitch sometimes and fuck up most of our good days (I do apply a lot of my own experiences with anxiety to Zayn's). And I'm sorry if the slow burn is killing you but I really want to build up the sexual tension before I let something pop. Next chapter has massive progress. Let me know what you thought in the comments or on my tumblr or twitter. :)
> 
> Words in urdu:
> 
> -Asalamualaikum : a way of greeting or to say hello, means peace be upon you  
> -Beta: son  
> -Bhaiya: means bigger brother, younger siblings use it as sign of respect instead of using just their elder siblings name  
> -Dua: prayer (not the physical prayer but a verbal prayer to ask God for something usually done after the daily prayer)  
> -Zuhur: the name of the second/afternoon prayer
> 
> (also the song Zayn sang was translated above when Liam searched it up but here's a link if anyone want's to listen to it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODiHwUBL4_g --> and don't mind the cover picture of the video it doesn't really make sense lol because the song is a pure song about missing the person you love)


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. I know what you're all probably thinking, that this girl clearly does not have a life because she can finish 50 page chapters in two days. If only I was this productive with other stuff in my life lol. Anyways I was planning on this chapter being mostly composed of a certain plot-line/incident but the lead up to it took so long that I couldn't cover it all. But it still 'starts off.' I hope you enjoy it and as always the translations for urdu words will be at the end.
> 
> P.S. As a little thank you, I attached a a bonus snippet at the end that is a sneak peek into chapter 5. I appreciate all the lovely comments and kudos you have been leaving SO SO much (like you have no idea how touched I feel) so I added a little extra snippet at the end as a thank you. :)

 

[Photoset for Can't Help Falling in Love with You](http://zaynsbambieyes.tumblr.com/post/156678978856)

 

 

“But hypothetically, who would you rather give a blowjob too? Captain America or Iron Man? For me it’s probably Cap mostly because of Chris Evans.” Harry fanned himself as if he could picture the exact scenario.

 

Zayn smiled at Harry and shook his head. ‘Hypothetical’ and ‘what if’ questions were Harry’s favourite past times. And his obsession with Chris Evans was too much.

 

It was around 6 p.m. on Friday afternoon and they were returning from the office. They had taken an extremely claustrophobic subway back to Brooklyn and were now walking the last few blocks home. Zayn felt surprisingly relaxed and happy. Today had been the third day and nothing had gone wrong. Duvall had been so busy with meetings, that they didn’t even see him all day and were given a massive pile of paperwork to handle by his assistant. After that, the day was pretty mellow with the focus being on just the work. Zayn had found his mind drifting to Liam several times. Liam had said he wouldn’t be in the office today but Zayn’s eyes would flit to the doorway imagining Liam to appear out of nowhere. Zayn realized he missed Liam terribly. Despite still not knowing much about each other, Zayn was just so far gone. Throughout the day his mind would flit back to the dreams he had of Liam last night and he would find himself blushing furiously. Liam’s shirt was still stashed away in his closet as Zayn was waiting for him to return from Ibiza to give him the shirt back.

 

“Honestly Zayn I feel slightly offended that you’ve been ignoring me for 10 minutes straight. Were you offended by the question because I didn’t add the option of Deadpool or is your mind somewhere else… or on someone else.” Harry smirked and poked Zayn in his stomach.

 

Zayn turned a darker shade of red. “Nothing,” he mumbled.

 

“Uh-huh. Or is it because ‘hypothetically’ you actually want to suck Liam off?” Harry grinned mischievously.

 

Zayn shoved him into the fence as they arrived in front of Zayn’s house.

 

“You can fuck off Styles.” Zayn yelled and ran up the steps into his house with Harry hot on his heels.

 

“Not likely ZayZay. I need to stick around to see what daddy Payne does next.” Harry laughed as they entered Zayn’s house. Zayn turned around and gave Harry a quick glare.

 

“Haz! No innuendos around my family for the love of God!” Zayn furiously whispered and Harry held up his hands and followed Zayn into the kitchen.

 

“It smells so good in here Tricia! Dinner’s gonna be bomb!” Harry shouted excitedly and planted a kiss on Tricia’s cheek who stood stirring something on the stove.

 

“Thanks sweet pea. Asalamualaikum Jaan,” Tricia smiled at Zayn who came over and wrapped his arms around his mom and just rested his head on her shoulder rocking back and forth.

 

“Walaikumasalam Maa.” Zayn mumbled and buried his face into her shoulder. Tricia tilted her head and pressed a kiss to Zayn’s cheek.

 

“Harry your mom said she’ll be coming but I don’t know about Gemma?” Tricia asked.

 

“No she has a date so she won’t be coming but mom will be here as per usual.” Harry was sat on the counter eating a banana.

 

It had been a tradition for longer than 20 years that every Friday night a massive dinner was held at the Malik residence where Zayn’s whole Family, Harry’s family and some of Zayn’s relatives came together for dinner. Zayn always looked forward to Friday nights for these dinners mostly because his niece and nephew would come over.

 

“Are Doniya Baji and Amir Bhai coming?” Zayn asked as he pulled a box of Oreo cookies out and ripped into them.

 

“Yes they are I told them no excuses this time. I haven’t seen my grandchildren in so long. Zaynie do you have to eat garbage all the time? Can’t you eat more healthy food like Harry?” Tricia scolded him.

 

“Just because Harry lost his mind and turned into some health nut doesn’t mean I have to as well. I might end up dying.” Zayn grinned as Harry tossed his banana peel at Zayn’s head.

 

“His bloodstream is 90% sugar Tricia, it’s not even a question.” Harry said.

 

At that point the doorbell rang and Zayn got up to go answer it. Seeing who it was outside the door, a big smile spread across his face.

 

“Mamoo!” a small body launched itself at Zayn and he stumbled back a little, laughing as he pulled his niece up into his arms.

 

“Mina meri jaan!” Zayn said fondly and kissed her forehead.

 

“I carry this brat for 9 months and give birth to her yet she still loves you more!” Doniya exclaimed as she entered followed by her husband who held a baby carrier holding their infant son.

 

“I’m lovable Don baji.” Zayn grinned and pulled her into a hug.

 

“That you are sweetheart.” Doniya said fondly and kissed Zayn’s cheek.

 

“Amir bhai.” Zayn smiled at his brother-in-law who grinned and hugged Zayn.

 

“Haven’t seen you in so long Zee. All been good?” He asked as they all walked into the living room. “Heard you started working at RED for Liam Payne? Massive congrats man.” Amir patted Zayn’s back and sat down on the armchair.

 

Zayn smiled and sat down on the sofa still carrying Mina. Doniya sat down unbuckling the baby from the carrier and at the same time loud footsteps thudded down the stairs.

 

“Ali’s here! Ali’s here!” Safaa screamed and ran over to Doniya and the baby.

 

“Hi baby!” Doniya smiled widely and pulled her younger sister into a hug and kissed her cheek. “Haven’t you missed me, your bigger sister as well?” Doniya asked as Safaa cooed over the baby in Doniya’s lap.

 

“Yes baji but I missed Ali more. He’s my nephew. All of my friends are jealous that I have a nephew.” Safaa said proudly and stroked Ali’s tiny face.

 

“Wow. I shouldn’t even bother coming here anymore, clearly no one misses me.” Doniya said in a fake sad voice.

 

“No! I do! I do miss you!” Safaa yelled distressed and everyone just laughed.

 

Zayn smiled down at Mina in his lap who was playing with Zayn’s watch on his arm.

 

“How’s Mamoo ki jaan?” Zayn asked and kissed Mina’s cheek.

 

She gave him a dimpled smile and grabbed his hand with her tiny one.

 

“I miss you. Mama say I can’t call you ‘cus ‘cus you you’re busy wiv you new job?” She asked him with wide eyes.

 

‘No Minnie I’m never busy for you. You can call me whenever you want pumpkin.” Zayn smiled and kissed her head again.

 

“Don’t encourage her Zee. She gives the nanny a hard time as it is. We don’t need her demanding to make phone calls too.” Doniya said warningly.

 

“How’s the nanny working out?” Zayn asked.

 

“I hate her!” Mina yelled.

 

“Minnie. Manners.” Amir said warningly from where he sat on the armchair watching TV.

 

“The nanny is lovely. Honestly I didn’t know how I would be able to find someone fast enough and go back to work, but Victoria is amazing. She takes Minnie to school and brings her home and watches Ali all day. She’s a blessing.” Doniya sighed.

 

Doniya was a lawyer who worked in a small firm here in Brooklyn that dealt mostly with cases concerning abused women or children. Amir was a pediatrician working in his office downtown in Brooklyn too. They had gotten married and had kids really young but that didn’t stop them from accomplishing any of their goals. They were every bit the power couple Zayn aspired towards. He wanted to be as successful and happy with a career and family as them one day. If life didn’t continue to fuck him over.

 

“Did I hear my little babies?” Tricia asked smiling affectionately as she came into the living room wiping her hands on her apron. Harry followed behind her.

 

“Naani!” Minnie yelled and ran across to wrap herself around Tricia. Tricia smothered her with kisses as she picked her up.

 

“Where’s Nana Abu?” Minnie asked looking around for Yaser.

 

“He’s at work jaanu. He’ll be home soon.” Tricia said and came over to kiss Doniya, Amir and Ali’s cheeks too.

 

“Is Baba doing night classes this summer?” Doniya asked.

 

“He teaches one Biology class in the evening twice a week. The rest are all day time classes.” Zayn answered.

 

“Okay Minnie why don’t you play in here, I have to go back to the kitchen so I can finish making dinner.” Tricia set Minnie down who ran over to her dad to take control over the TV remote.

 

“How are you guys liking your internship?” Doniya asked as Harry fell down beside Zayn.

 

“Very… interesting.” Harry said.

 

“As in?” Doniya asked.

 

“Just a lot of work.” Zayn gave a short reply not wanting to delve into it. He turned his gaze away from Doniya’s questioning one to where Mina had gotten her dad to change the news to a Bollywood music channel to which she and Safaa both started dancing along to.

 

“But are you enjoying working there?” Doniya asked.

 

“Some of us might be enjoying it way too much.” Harry grinned and Zayn stretched his leg across the sofa to kick Harry who started laughing as Waliyha also entered the room.

 

“My little Ali bear is here!” she squealed and dropped down beside Doniya to take the baby into her arms. Doniya playfully smacked her head till Waliyha rolled her eyes and gave Doniya a hug then went back to cooing at the baby.

 

Everyone fell into an easy chatter in the room with Harry and Doniya falling into a long discussion about their mutual thirst for Shahrukh Khan as they watched him on screen. Zayn fell back against the sofa and slowly pulled out his phone. No new messages. Zayn sighed feeling a twinge of disappointment. Since Liam had taken his phone number yesterday nothing had happened. No messages or anything. He hadn’t even given Zayn a missed call to make sure Zayn had his number too. Zayn suddenly thought to his horror that maybe in his moment of panic he had pressed the wrong button and hadn’t entered his number correctly in Liam’s phone. Fuck. Liam would be texting a wrong number (if he even decided to message Zayn) and when there would be no reply he would think Zayn was ignoring him. As if the universe sensed Zayn’s distress, his phone buzzed at that exact moment. Zayn saw an unknown number and his heart raced. He looked down at the text message and read:

 

From Unknown: that song, tere bin nahi laage jiya… truly fucking beautiful baby. Your voice and those words together are something I haven’t been able to get out of my mind in the past 24 hours.

 

Zayn bit his lip on a smile he knew was threatening to take over his face. He felt his face heat up and he ducked it to avoid letting the others see his reaction. He stared at the message knowing for sure it was Liam. How had Liam remembered the words Zayn had been singing? And he said he couldn’t stop thinking about them? Zayn felt butterflies furiously launch in his stomach. He stared at the screen for a couple of minutes and typed out a quick response and then saved the number as ‘Liam.’

 

To Liam: You remembered the song?

 

“Mamoo,” Mina said as she ran over to him and grabbed his leg. Zayn put his phone down beside himself.

 

“Yes jaan?” Zayn asked.

 

“When you- when you get marry will your wife also wear a pretty red dress like ‘da one?” Mina asked while pointing at the screen where some Bollywood song was playing and the actress wore a red intricate lehnga as the groom sang his heart out for her.

 

Zayn was silent for a moment as he just stared down at his niece’s face. He felt taken by surprise and didn’t know how to tell her that he would _not_ be having a wife.

 

“Umm...” Zayn started.

 

“No silly!” Safaa said. “Bhaiya isn’t going to have a wife, he’s going to have a husband! And it will be even better because then I will have two bhaiyas who can spoil me!” Safaa said proudly.

 

“Oh. Ok. That’s better. Another Mamoo will be fun. Maybe he can take me on the boats!” Mina said getting excited as she and Safaa went back to mimicking the dance moves on the TV.

 

Zayn smiled feeling overwhelmed at the innocence of his niece and how a child didn’t care if they got another aunt or uncle while many people in this world were bothered by it. Zayn looked up to see Doniya giving him a warm smile.

 

“That is if anyone even agrees to be my husband.” Zayn mumbled.

 

“Oh shut it Zaynie. You’re intelligent, kind and gorgeous. Any man would kill to be with you. Are there not any cute guys at your office?” Doniya asked.

 

“N-no.” Zayn hurried out.

 

“There is one cute guy who is very much interested in-“ Harry started but Zayn launched himself across the sofa to cover Harry’s mouth, landing half in his lap.

 

“There’s nothing. No one.” Zayn said quickly.

 

“Your reaction makes it seem otherwise Zee.” Amir grinned from where he sat.

 

“Yeah Zayn what’s with the freak out?” Waliyha grinned wickedly at him.

 

“You shut it. And Harry.” Zayn gave him a menacing glare. Harry just laughed and patted Zayn’s cheek. Zayn’s phone vibrated beside him and Harry happened to glance down and see something that made his eyebrows shoot up. Zayn looked down as well and saw Liam’s name on the screen. He met Harry’s gaze and swiped his phone quickly just as Harry reached to grab it too. Zayn scooted far back to the other side of the sofa and read the text message.

 

From Liam: You underestimate my abilities sweetheart. Especially when it comes to you.

 

Zayn felt a smile betray him and spread across his face. His heart was soaring and probably shooting out rainbows with how much excitement seemed to course through his blood. But once again the jitteriness that came with anything to do with Liam also invaded him. Zayn quickly typed out another reply.

 

To Liam: I don’t really know what to say… you leave me…. dumbfounded

 

Zayn put his phone back down and looked over to see Harry watching him suspiciously. At that point the doorbell rang again and when his mom yelled for someone to go open the door, Zayn got up from the couch to answer it.  

 

“Hi sweetie!” It was Harry’s mom, Anne, and she entered carrying a casserole dish.

 

“Hi Anne.” Zayn smiled at her and gave her a hug.

 

He walked back into the living room followed by her.

 

“Hello sweethearts!” Anne said and went over to give everyone kisses one by one. She pinched Harry’s cheek last then went into the kitchen looking for Tricia.

 

Zayn fell back onto the sofa and searched around for his phone. He could have sworn he had left it here on the couch. He looked over at Harry to see him focused on the TV. Zayn was about to ask Harry what he was up to when he heard the familiar buzzing of his phone. He looked around and didn’t see it anywhere in the close proximity. He heard it buzz again. Waliyha reached down and picked up his phone from underneath the coffee table in front of both the sofas.

 

“Zayn you have a text from Baba... why is it saved as daddy? Wait… that’s not Baba’s number,” Waliyha said confused.

 

Zayn froze in horror and his eyes widened. He turned slowly to look at Harry who was holding back laughter as he stared at the TV screen.

 

“You don’t ever have to say anything; your sweet state of shock is endearing as fuck bambi eyes….” Waliyha read the message out loud and everyone (barring the children) turned to look at Zayn. Zayn felt every inch of his body turn into a scorching shade of red.

 

“Who is this ‘daddy’ person and why is he calling you bambi eyes?” Waliyha asked sounding confused and shocked all together.

 

Zayn jumped up and snatched the phone from her hands.

 

“Harry you piece of shit did you change the name? Wallahi I want to kill you sometimes.” Zayn hissed and Harry cracked up and let out all the laughter he had been holding.

 

“Umm Zee. If you’re up to strange activities you might want to keep it away from the children,” Doniya said although her face looked amused.

 

“Who knew Zayn wasn’t all that innocent,” Amir laughed.

 

“No! Harry changed the name! I didn’t save it as that… This is- this is someone from the office,” Zayn choked out feeling the embarrassment make his heart start to race.

 

“Zayn’s right I was just messing with him and I changed the contact name to daddy.” Harry said and pulled Zayn down into his lap.

 

“Ok but who is this person and why exactly are they calling you bambi eyes?” Waliyha asked, her interest piqued.

 

“Zaynie were you lying to us? Do you actually have a boyfriend?” Doniya asked.

 

“No I- Ya Allah.” Zayn groaned. “I don’t have a boyfriend. This is just someone- he’s from the office and he... he likes to use nicknames and he-“ Zayn stammered out his reply.

 

“Basically someone is very _very_ interested in little ZayZay and Zayn himself returns the sentiments, but he’s too chicken to take it any further.” Harry said bluntly.

 

Zayn elbowed Harry’s stomach from where he sat but Harry just retaliated by pulling Zayn back further and hugging him.

 

“Who is it?” Doniya asked curiously.

 

“No one.” Zayn said and covered Harry’s mouth. “It’s nothing.”

 

Everyone in the room looked at him doubtfully but no further questions could be asked because Yaser came through the front door and said a loud greeting.

 

“Baba!” Safaa yelled.

 

“Nana Abu!” Mina yelled at the same time and they both ran out of the room.

 

“I will cut off your dick and feed it to you if you say anything else.” Zayn whispered into Harry’s ear.

 

“You’re a little crazy ZayZay.” Harry whispered back and pinched Zayn’s cheek.

 

Yaser walked in carrying both his daughter and grand-daughter with a huge smile on his face. Doniya and Amir both got up to hug him and started a chat about Yaser’s day.

 

Zayn took the moment of distraction to discreetly re-read the message Waliyha had read aloud in front of everyone giving him enough mortification that would suffice for a year. God even without the daunting presence of Liam and his dark looks, his teasing voice and his intoxicating scent Zayn still felt light-headed. Just a simple text message and Zayn felt his heart had increased its tempo and covered his body in goosebumps.

 

“How was work beta?” Yaser asked as he sat down on the sofa beside Zayn.

 

Zayn pulled out of his thoughts quickly and smiled at his dad.

 

“Good Baba.” Zayn answered.

 

Yaser smiled and patted Zayn’s leg affectionately. Zayn pulled away from Harry’s side and moved over to lean against his dad and rest his head on his shoulder. Yaser wrapped his arm around Zayn’s thin shoulders and kissed his head.

 

“You’re a dedicated boy Zayn. I’m sure you’re doing some excellent work.” Yaser said.

 

“Apparently not just work either,” Waliyha snickered and Harry let out a laugh as well.

 

Yaser looked at them confused and Zayn shot them both deathly glares wondering how he got stuck with such an annoying sister and best friend.

 

“Zayn bhaiya likes someone at his office Baba!” Safaa said excitedly as if she was doing a good deed by announcing this little bit of info.

 

Zayn stared at her incredulously wondering if she had been eavesdropping the whole time. Zayn groaned and hid his face in his hands as everyone in the room chuckled at his embarrassment.

 

“Thanks for that Saf,” Zayn mumbled.

 

“Oh really? Who is it then?” Yaser grinned down at Zayn.

 

“Nobody Baba. Nobody that I could ever have anyways.” Zayn said.

 

“Why would you think that Zayn? Anyone would be more than lucky to have you. Is it some boy you intern with?” Yaser asked.

 

“No.” Zayn said turning crimson hating everyone’s attention on him.

 

“Much, much higher ranking than an intern Yaser.” Harry grinned and nudged Zayn.

 

“Now I’m even more interested,” Doniya said.

 

“Please for the sake of Allah stop all of you!” Zayn grumbled.

 

Yaser sensed Zayn was feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed talking about it, so he gave everyone else a glare to make them stop bothering Zayn.

 

“That’s fine Zayn. You can tell us whenever you want to, if you want to. Just don’t put yourself down. I’ve told you this several times before but you have a heart of gold and anyone- whether it’s this guy you work with or anyone else- would be lucky to have you.” Yaser said and squeezed Zayn’s shoulders.

 

“Thanks Baba.” Zayn whispered.

 

“You’re not that nice about the guys I like or talk to,” Waliyha complained.

 

“Because you’re only 15 and extremely irresponsible,” Yaser shot her a look.

 

“Baba!” Waliyha whined.

 

“Dinner’s ready,” Tricia popped her head in to inform everyone. “Safoo, Minnie go wash up.”

 

As everyone started to go towards the dining room to have dinner Harry grabbed Zayn’s arm to drag him back.

 

“You’re such a sneaky little bastard Zayn. When did you and Liam exchange numbers and why was I not told?” Harry asked sounding offended.

 

“Yesterday up in his office, but he only texted me for the first time just now so I didn’t really think I should- and excuse me Styles but after you pulling all that shit in front of my family I shouldn’t be telling you anything.” Zayn crossed his arms and frowned at Harry.

 

“Baby you love me. And I only did that because I wanted you to hear from your family as well that you have nothing to be afraid of. And that you’re a real catch ZayZay.” Harry said.

 

Zayn looked at Harry and softened up a little. “Haz,”

 

“And I also loved watching you freak out all embarrassed after the daddy thing.” Harry laughed and quickly exited the room.

 

Zayn ran after him and jumped on Harry’s back pushing him into the wall.

 

 

**

 

It was around 7 a.m. the Monday after the weekend and Liam was in his gym at home boxing for his usual morning workout. He had returned late last night from Ibiza and had gone straight to bed. The exhaustion from all weekend was still running through his body but that didn’t stop him from skipping his morning workout or try to take a day off work. Well that was mostly because he needed to see Zayn. They had texted a couple of times over the weekend but even through the texts Liam could sense the boy’s shyness. It was endearing to say the least. But then something had happened yesterday that had left Liam grinning with fond over the boy.

 

_Late last night when he had just gotten home and entered his bedroom, he got a notification from Instagram. Usually Liam didn’t bother checking any of these notifications because he had a couple million followers and didn’t ever check through his activity. But the ‘zaynjmalik liked your photo’ instantly woke him up. When Liam noticed that the picture Zayn had liked was a month old and way deep down in his Instagram, he realized with a smile that Zayn was probably going through all his old pictures. When he clicked on the actual picture he realized Zayn’s like had disappeared and that the boy had probably hastily un-liked it in order to cover up his stalking._

_“Oh bambi eyes,” Liam chuckled fondly. And just because he loved messing with Zayn a little bit, he went and clicked ‘request follow’ on Zayn’s account (since it was private) just to send the boy a signal that his stalking had been noticed._

 

Liam was towelling off his sweat as he grabbed his phone from the table and started scrolling through Zayn’s Instagram as he walked upstairs to his bathroom to take a shower. Zayn’s Instagram didn’t have many pictures and it didn’t follow any ‘aesthetic’ either like most people. It was just full of ridiculously cute pictures of him with what was probably his family, some little kids and a lot with Harry too. His most recent picture was from yesterday and it was of him holding a young girl who looked to be about 4 years old in his lap as she kissed his cheek and Zayn’s smile in it was so brilliantly beautiful. His eyes were scrunched up, his nose was wrinkled and his tongue was curled up to the back of his teeth. The caption read ‘she says I’m her favourite.’

 

“That smile should be illegal,” Liam mumbled as he liked the picture then set his phone down sighing and went to take a shower to get ready for work.

 

 

When he was dressed for work he hurried down into the kitchen pulling open his iPad to check his hectic schedule for the day.

 

“Morning Mary,” Liam said to his cook where she was laying out his coffee and breakfast

 

Mary originally used to be Liam’s family’s housekeeper and cook but when his parents retired to the Hampton’s permanently, Liam asked Mary to come work for him. She was married to his driver Patrick and they lived in an apartment a few floors below his penthouse. Mary made Liam’s meals for him most days except when he was out and took care of his house-keeping duties. She was around his mother’s age with a few silver hairs peeking out amongst her blond hair, but she was extremely diligent. And Liam respected and loved her like his own mother.

 

“Morning Liam. How was your trip?” she asked.

 

“Amazing. Josh loved it,” Liam said distractedly as he looked through his 500 un-read emails. Go away for one weekend and this is what happens.

 

“I’m glad. When are you coming home today?” Mary asked.

 

“Hmm? Not sure. You don’t have to come back to make dinner you can have the night off. I’ll probably be out.” Liam said.

 

“Okay. I have the cleaning girls coming in to clean up the apartment then I’ll be off.” Mary said and pushed Liam’s coffee towards him.

 

“Ok… thank you.” Liam smiled at her and took a few sips of his coffee then grabbed his phone and shut his iPad. “I gotta go, have a good day Mary.”

 

“You too love. See you tomorrow.” Mary said and started cleaning up Liam’s barely eaten breakfast.

 

**

 

 

“Meemz I got the confirmation email for the Paris meeting. Do I really have to be there by tomorrow? I literally just got back and have to go through so much work can’t you push it forward a day or two?” Liam was sat in the back of his car going towards the office. He had just seen the email that the French contractors had agreed to meet for Wednesday in Paris and not the day after.

 

“I’m sorry Liam but that’s the only day available. Just go and take care of the meeting. I’ll put off a few things here as best as I can. And you still have to go to Chicago when you return. So you should take care of this as soon as possible.” Ameera answered

 

“Yes but Ameera, that means I have to leave either tonight or early tomorrow to make it in time for the meeting on time.” Liam said rubbing his temples where a headache was growing.

 

“I really am sorry Liam I know you’re probably jet lagged from Ibiza but they’re acting difficult. I’m making arrangements for either Bill or Fredric to pilot the jet so you can leave in the morning tomorrow and when you get there it’ll be sometime in the evening. Your meeting is actually the day after that on Wednesday at noon Paris time. Is that okay?” Ameera asked.

 

“Fine,” Liam relented. “But schedule me a meeting with Anderson today. I need to take care of some business before I leave and get me the status reports on the new deal with Vaskovic. I’ll be in the office in a few. See you.” Liam shut his phone and rested his head back closing his eyes. He already knew it was going to be one long day and then having to fly again tomorrow was not something he was looking forward too. He felt like he was still massively hungover from the weekend which was making him tired. But he couldn’t complain. As the car pulled up outside the building Liam thanked Patrick then went inside. He walked over to the elevators and waited amongst a group of people until one arrived. A couple of people who saw him said ‘good morning sir’ with smiles. Liam gave them back quick smiles and walked into the elevator to lean against the back wall. He pulled out his phone to check his messages just as the doors started to close.

 

“Hold the door please!” a voice yelled out.

 

A man near the front of the elevator quickly stopped the elevator as two people came rushing in. Liam only glanced up momentarily from his phone but he saw a breathless Zayn run in followed by Harry.

 

“Thank you kind Sir.” Harry smiled at the man who held the door open.

 

The doors shut and everyone jostled a little in the cramped space and Zayn, who had yet to spot Liam, was shoved forward a little by some man and Zayn ended up stumbling right into Liam’s chest.

 

“Hello bambi eyes,” Liam said in a low voice as he smirked down at Zayn.

 

Zayn’s eyes shot up and he froze as he saw Liam. His face turned a beautiful shade of red and he quickly spun around to turn his back to Liam. Liam quickly secured an arm around Zayn’s waist and pulled him back into his own chest. He could feel Zayn suck in a breath.

 

“I’ve missed you,” Liam murmured right into Zayn’s ear so no one else could hear him.

 

“Y-you have?” Zayn whispered back turning his head slightly to look at Liam.

 

“So much. You have no idea.” Liam continued to speak in a low voice as he ran his hand along where it was wrapped around Zayn’s waist to tangle with his fingers.

 

“Did you miss me baby?” Liam asked.

 

Zayn lowered his face and his body seemed a little frozen. Liam was now able to sense that the boy did this whenever he seemed nervous to answer.

 

“Zayn,” Liam murmured and squeezed his hand. “Did you miss me?”

 

Zayn was frozen for a few more seconds then he quickly nodded and proceeded to blush deeply at his own admission. Liam grinned and bent his head to kiss Zayn’s flaming cheek.

 

“Good.” Liam whispered just as the elevator opened to the 45th floor. Liam had been so absorbed with Zayn, he hadn’t noticed that most of the elevator had emptied and Harry was even watching them from the corner with his eyebrows raised and a small grin. Liam smiled back at him just as Harry started to exit and Zayn stumbled along a little delirious.

 

“And Zayn?” Liam said. Zayn turned around to look at Liam with wide eyes.

 

“I agree with the little girl. You’re my favourite too.” Liam winked at him just as the elevator doors closed and he saw Zayn flush to an even deeper shade of red as he stared back at Liam in disbelief.

 

 

**

 

“He is one smooth motherfucker.” Harry laughed looking at Zayn who still seemed a little shocked. “I swear even I was getting a little turned on in the elevator.”

 

“Y-you saw? Y-you heard?” Zayn squeaked.

 

“Babe everyone did. It’s a small elevator and people tend to notice things especially if it’s the CEO of the company flirting with an intern.” Harry said as they walked over to their offices.

 

“Oh God,” Zayn muttered.

 

“And which little girl was he talking about?” Harry asked.

 

“The picture I put up on Instagram last night of me and Mina. He liked it this morning so he was probably talking about that.” Zayn said feeling rattled.

 

“Oh… you mean after he discovered you were stalking his Insta and he followed you?” Harry asked with a sly grin.

 

“Yes Harry. After I had a massive panic attack realizing I had accidentally liked one of his pictures and he knew I was stalking him. Why don’t I just die? God, I keep embarrassing myself.” Zayn groaned as they entered the intern’s room and sat at their desks.

 

“Well you should have been more careful in your 3 a.m. Instagram thirst stalking,” Harry chuckled.

 

“And to top it all off the picture I accidentally liked was of him shirtless and sweaty while he was boxing… from a month ago.” Zayn face palmed himself as Harry cackled like a mad man.

 

“They’re going to write about you in books Zaynie. You’re the poster child for what _not_ to do in front of your crush.” Zayn gave Harry a stony look as Serayah and Amanda entered.

 

“Did you guys hear?” Serayah said as she sat down. “Damian’s been fired.”

Zayn looked up stunned and met Harry’s eyes. They both turned to Serayah with matching expressions of shock.

 

“Yeah I was so confused too. Apparently, the order came from someone higher up. That’s all Mr. Duvall was told. To let Damian go, no questions asked.” Serayah shrugged.

 

“I wonder what he could have done.” Amanda said.

 

Harry turned to Zayn with a questioning look. Zayn just gulped and turned his gaze down. He knew Liam must have sent out that order and he felt guilty that Damian’s paid internship got taken from him because of Zayn. This is exactly what he was trying to avoid.

 

“Well good riddance,” Harry said. “He was an ass.”

 

Serayah and Amanda both looked at the two boys confused but Zayn just kept his head down focusing on his work and feeling guilt wrench his heart.

 

“Don’t you _dare_ feel guilty. He deserved it you hear me?” Harry whispered sternly and Zayn just nodded his head slowly. Maybe it would be better if Damian didn’t work here anymore. He would definitely have tried to talk to Zayn again or approach him. And that thought alone made him feel super anxious. Maybe, just maybe, this was okay.

 

 

**

 

“One of you interns,” Mr. Duvall’s assistant Penny came into the room.

 

“I need someone to run a little errand for me and take these,” she put down a pile of red coloured files, “Up to the 50th floor. It’s urgent. And either get them to Mr. Payne’s assistant Ameera or just hand them to one of the secretaries to send into him ASAP.”

 

“I’ll do it!” Amanda jumped up.

 

“No! Zayn can do it!” Harry pushed Zayn out of his chair and Zayn looked at Harry dumbfounded.

 

“I don’t-“ Zayn started

 

“No it’s okay I can do it!” Amanda rushed forward.

 

“Your sheer volume is causing me a headache,” Penny frowned at Amanda. “So you... uh what was your name?” She looked at Zayn.

 

“Zayn,” he mumbled.

 

“Zayn you can take them. Do it right now and give them to Ameera and tell her to hand them over to Mr. Payne for his signatures immediately and then bring them back down.” Penny finished her instructions and strode out of the room.

 

“Ugh,” Amanda sat back down with a sour look.

 

 

Harry grinned at Zayn and gave him a double thumbs up. Zayn kicked his leg under the table and gave him a harsh glare.

 

“Hurry up with those ZayZay it’s almost lunch time. When you come back we’ll get something from the food court downstairs.” Harry said.

 

“I’m not coming to your funeral when you die. And just know, I’m gonna be the one to kill you.” Zayn said then picked up the files and walked out of the office with Harry laughing behind him.

 

On his way to the elevators he passed by Duvall who just gave Zayn a cold empty glare and Zayn hurried away feeling uneasiness twist in his stomach. He punched the button for the elevator and tapped his foot anxiously waiting for it to arrive. When it did, he got in and pressed the button for the 50th floor waiting for it to take him up to the floor where the cause of all his mind-fucking emotions resided. When it arrived at the 50th floor Zayn slowly walked out towards where he knew the lobby area and the reception was. He heard some laughter and spotted Ameera leaning against the reception desk and laughing with the two secretaries.

 

“It was absolutely wild,” Ameera stopped her conversation when she spotted Zayn standing there awkwardly balancing a pile of files.

 

“Hi Zayn,” Ameera smiled at him.

 

“Hi Ameera,” Zayn smiled back tentatively. “These um, these files need to be signed by Mr. Payne urgently could you ask him to um do it? Then I have to bring them back down.” Zayn said.

 

“Liam is in his office just take them in and ask him to sign them,” Ameera smiled at him and pointed to Liam’s office doors.

 

“M-me?” Zayn choked out. “Couldn’t you...” Zayn looked at her helplessly.

 

“He won’t bite sweetie,” Ameera laughed. “Just go in and ask him to sign them then you’re free to go.”

 

Zayn gulped and looked back towards the office. “Okay,” he said.

 

Ameera smiled and went back to her conversation and Zayn started towards the office on shaky legs. When he reached the door, he took a deep breath and knocked on it.

 

“Come in!” Liam’s voice yelled from inside.

 

Zayn opened the door hesitantly and looked inside. Liam was far across the room facing the window with his back to the door as he talked on the phone. Zayn walked in slowly and shut the door. He looked around the office remembering how just a few days ago he had been in here with Liam having a panic attack. And everything Liam had done after that. Zayn gripped the files tighter and walked forwards towards the desk. He climbed the steps to the raised half of the room where Liam’s desk was and stood behind it. Liam still had his back to him as he laughed on the phone with someone.

 

“… I think the last time was when I was in Rome. Yeah it was the annual fundraiser gala for the Maxxi. Wow yeah it has been a year. Soon enough I know. I’m going to Paris tomorrow for a meeting with some French contractors for the hotel there. No? Yeah it is I know…” Liam laughed.

 

Zayn stood there awkwardly not knowing if he should cough to get Liam’s attention or just wait there till Liam turned around. Both options seemed awkward as fuck. But before Zayn could make up his mind Liam turned around. His eyes landed on Zayn and he looked surprised for a second then a grin spread across his face.

 

“Hmm... I know…” Liam continued talking on the phone and circled the desk towards Zayn smiling at him.

 

Liam leaned back against the desk in front of where Zayn stood. Then he took the files from Zayn’s hands and set them down. He took Zayn’s hand in his own and tugged him forward, closer to himself. Zayn looked up at Liam surprised while Liam just held onto Zayn’s hand stroking the back of it with his thumb.

 

“It is I know… of course…. Well next time you’re in New York… Talk to you soon Vince and give my regards to Jenny as well. Bye.” Liam shut his phone and set it aside. Then he smiled at Zayn and took his other hand into his own as well.

 

“And here I was just thinking of coming down to see you,” Liam said.

 

“Mr. Payne-“ Zayn started but Liam pulled him closer to stand between his legs.

 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Who?” Liam questioned with a smirk.

 

“L-Liam. Liam. Can you sign these? I was told to bring them up to you to get them signed and to bring them back immediately.” Zayn stammered out while Liam brought his hand up to stroke Zayn’s chin.

 

“Mhm.” Liam said but didn’t take his eyes off Zayn’s face. Zayn looked between Liam and the files worried.

 

“Y-you have to do them quickly or I could get in trouble.” Zayn said looking at Liam feeling his body start to tremble under Liam’s intense gaze.

 

“You’re gonna worry your little head off one day bambi eyes.” Liam said with a fond smile then flipped open the files beside him and quickly scribbled his signature down while keeping his gaze locked with Zayn’s.

 

Zayn lowered his eyes feeling flustered. He kept his gaze down until he saw Liam close the last of the files from the corner of his eye.

 

“Thank you. I should-“ Zayn started to grab the files but Liam took his hand and pulled him back towards himself.

 

“It’s your lunch hour right?” Liam asked as he ran his hand up Zayn’s arm and back down leaving goosebumps behind.

 

“Yes,” Zayn answered looking at Liam a little confused.

 

“Stay here for your lunch.” Liam said.

 

“B-but the files… I could get in trouble…” Zayn stuttered out looking up at Liam with wide eyes.

 

“You still underestimate my authority,” Liam shook his head smiling and punched a button on his phone.

 

“Rosie or Lesley can one of you please come into my office.”

 

Not even two seconds later the door opened and the blond secretary from outside walked in.

 

“Yes Mr. Payne?” she asked.

 

“Lesley can you get these to the 45th floor to Duvall.” Liam handed her the stack of files.

 

“Of course,” Lesley took the files from Liam and turned to leave.

 

“And get my usual from Charlie’s sent up here and Zayn?” Liam turned to him.

 

Zayn stood stock still and looked at Liam confused.

 

“What would you like?” Liam asked.

 

Zayn swallowed and shrugged his shoulders nervously.

 

“Is a chicken salad okay?” Liam asked. Zayn nodded back slowly.

 

“Another chicken salad as well Lesley. No calls or visits for my lunch hour. Thanks.” Liam said.

 

Lesley smiled and nodded then walked back out.

 

“Harry might be wondering where I am,” Zayn said as Liam continued to hold onto Zayn and just look at him shamelessly.

 

“Text him and let him know,” Liam gave a squeeze to Zayn’s hand then moved around to type something on his MacBook.

 

Zayn took his phone out and pulled up his chat with Harry. He wondered what he should say to him. Harry would for sure start asking a lot of questions. Zayn sighed and punched out a simple message.

 

To HazzleDazzle: have lunch without me. I might be occupied elsewhere.

 

Zayn’s phone buzzed immediately and he looked down to see a message from Harry.

 

From HazzleDazzle: why??? Are you occupied with daddy Payne? Are you about to get wrecked on his desk? Please say yes!

 

Zayn rolled his eyes choosing not to answer Harry. Liam shut the lid of his MacBook and walked back over to Zayn and took his hand. He led Zayn over to the couch and sat down pulling Zayn down too.

 

“How was your weekend?” Liam asked resting his arm on the back of the couch behind Zayn with his body turned towards him completely. All of his attention was so intensely focused on Zayn that Zayn felt goosebumps spring up again.

 

“Good. How was your um the bachelor trip?” Zayn asked.

 

“Very good,” Liam smiled and reached down to take Zayn’s hand again.

 

“I couldn’t get you out of my mind though. Whether I was at a strip club or at a beachside rave party these pretty hazel eyes of yours are all that flashed through my mind.” Liam said seriously.

 

“Liam I…” Zayn started blushing.

 

“Let me ask you something Zayn. Do you think I’m just messing with you when I say these things? Do you think all the things I’ve said about what I feel for you are just a joke?” Liam moved forward and cupped Zayn’s cheek.

 

Zayn glanced down towards where his own hand was drawing idle patterns over the leather of the sofa.  

 

“I mean… why would you...” Zayn said in a small voice.

 

“Do you not remember everything I said to you in that bathroom a few days ago? You’ve managed to carve a permanent space in my mind Zayn. I haven’t been able to get you out of my head since I walked in on you in the library a few weeks ago. You’ve been undoing me slowly baby. And I think you should know that I want you. More than anything. I want to know what’s in your heart, what’s in your mind, I want to know _you_ Zayn. Will you let me into your heart baby? I’ll treat it gently I swear.” Liam said softly as he gazed right into Zayn’s eyes and stroked his fingers tenderly across Zayn’s jaw.

 

“Liam,” Zayn whispered. “When you say things like that… I… I can’t think. I feel so…” Zayn bit his lip.

 

“Feel so what?” Liam asked gently.

 

“A lot. I feel a lot. Like I might burst. Like I’m flying one second and drowning the next.” Zayn was proud of how his voice came out without breaking.

 

“I would never let you drown bambi eyes.” Liam said.

 

“Thank you. I can’t swim anyways.” Zayn gave Liam a small smile and he saw something flash in Liam’s eyes before he grinned and kissed Zayn’s hand.

 

“I’m honestly not joking Zayn. Let me take you out?” Liam asked.

 

“Like o- out- out?” Wonderful. The stutter was back.

 

“Yeah baby out-out,” Liam laughed. “The opposite of inside. Let me take you to dinner or something. Let you see what I meant the other day about me showing you how I really feel about you.”

 

“But… where? When?” Zayn asked panicking a little thinking of what Liam might plan.

 

“Somewhere special. Because _you_ are special to me bambi eyes.” Liam said.

 

Zayn bit his lip on a small smile and looked down at where Liam was holding his hand. Fuck. Could he do this? Could he go out with Liam? What would happen? What if he wanted to take things further than dinner? Clearly the man wasn’t upholding some chastity clause like Zayn was. But Zayn could feel that in the battle between heart and mind his heart was winning. He really wanted to go out with Liam. He wanted to spend more time with Liam. He wanted to be with Liam all the time if possible.

 

 “Okay. But um… when?” Zayn inquired looking at Liam again.

 

“Soon baby. I can’t really stay far away from you for too long. Tomorrow I’m going to Paris… “ Liam trailed off.

 

“That sounds nice. Paris seems amazing.” Zayn said conversationally.

 

Liam paused at that and looked at Zayn with a curious look on his face that slowly morphed into a smirk.

 

“Unless if you want to come with me to Paris and we can have our date there?” Liam asked with a grin.

 

Zayn choked on his own breath. He looked at Liam flabbergasted. Was this man really suggesting that Zayn go with him to a different continent for a date?

 

“L-Liam… I can’t.” Zayn stared at Liam with wide eyes.

 

“Why? Do you not have a passport?” Liam asked.

 

“No I do… we went to Canada to see my aunt last year but… but… who takes people on dates to other countries?” Zayn asked feeling dizzy with confusion.

 

“I do.” Liam said. “It’s like maximum two days babe. And I want to give you the kind of date that you’ll never forget. Come on baby. I’m not taking you there to murder you or anything.” Liam laughed then seeing Zayn’s distress he leaned closer to Zayn.

 

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Liam asked.

 

“My parents… could kill me. I’m still only 18 and living with them. You must know how parents can be.” Zayn said.

 

“Huh. At 18 I was taking my dad’s private jet to other countries with friends. He was too busy with his business and Mom with her writing and social commitments… “ Liam trailed off.

 

“I won’t force you to do anything Zayn. But I kind of don’t want to prolong me taking you out. You’ve been driving me mad and I just want to show you how much I care for you. Show you what you make me feel. And a beautiful person like you deserves an epic first date. I just want to give you that in Paris. But it’s okay if you don’t want to Zayn.” Liam said softly stroking his cheek.

 

Zayn felt floored. Liam. God damn Liam always turning his insides into liquid. Hot, burning, raging with desire and want liquid. Before he knew it, Zayn’s mouth was moving without consulting the logical side of his brain.

 

“Okay.” Zayn felt stunned at his own answer.

 

“Okay?” Liam asked

 

“Um. Yeah.” Zayn blushed and looked down. “I-I’ll tell my parents I’m sleeping at Harry’s. They trust me enough to not call in to check.” Zayn said.

 

“Am I corrupting your innocence?” Liam laughed.

 

Zayn turned red and ducked his head again.

 

“No. I… want to.” Zayn let out. This was the first time he had vocally stated that he wanted just as much from Liam as Liam wanted from him and he felt proud.

 

“I’ll blow your mind baby. Treat you like you deserve.” Liam gabbed Zayn’s waist and tugged him forward to plant a small kiss on his cheek beside his ear. Zayn’s eyes fluttered closed and he grabbed onto Liam’s bicep as a reflex. Feeling the muscles underneath his hand Zayn gulped. The other Zayn that resided inside his mind, the one that was responsible for his less than innocent dreams about Liam, realized he wanted to see these arms lift him up and pin him against something. They would be strong enough to hold Zayn up while fucking into him.

 

“Fucking relax,” Zayn muttered to himself.

 

“Say something?” Liam drew back to look at Zayn.

 

“N-no. Nothing.” Zayn stammered out. “Um... when and how am I supposed to come with you?”

 

“I’m leaving tomorrow early morning. I can get a car to pick you up from your house or Harry’s house, wherever you’ll be, and bring you over to the airport. We’ll be flying on my jet and when we arrive there it’ll be sometime in the evening in Paris. And we’ll be back in one night, two days-ish.” Liam said.

 

“Okay.” Zayn said mentally thinking of how he was supposed to lie to his parents and pull this off. Zayn had never in his life snuck out anywhere. Not to a party or to some bar to drink illegally like the kids his age were doing. He had never lied to his parents. And now…

 

“All good?” Liam asked.

 

Zayn nodded just as the door knocked and opened. Lesley walked in carrying take out bags and deposited them in front of Liam and Zayn.

 

“Anything else Sir?” she asked.

 

“No Lesley. Thanks.” Liam said and she nodded and walked away.

 

“Don’t stress yourself baby. Let yourself have this. Whatever happens in the end, at least you’ll have experienced Paris.” Liam grinned at him and squeezed his hand.

 

“I hope you’re right,” Zayn sighed.

 

“It’ll be two days that you’ll never forget bambi eyes. Trust me.” Liam kissed his hand then started pulling open the bags.

 

Zayn would soon realize that Liam did live up to each and every one of his words.

 

**

 

 

“Hi bambi eyes. How was daddy Payne?” Harry smiled cheekily at Zayn from where he sat at his desk sipping a green juice. He was the only one in the intern’s room at the moment and Zayn was glad.

 

Zayn gave Harry the weakest glare he could muster up then fell down beside him.

 

“Haz. I may have just agreed to something really major and I- I think I may have made a mistake.” Zayn said feeling the familiar start of anxiousness creep in.

 

“Did you agree to become Liam’s sub or something?” Harry laughed. Then seeing that Zayn was serious he rolled himself forward on his desk chair.

 

“What happened Zayn?” Harry asked.

 

“I- I agreed to go to Paris with Liam.” Zayn rushed out.

 

“Excuse me? Did I hear you correctly?” Harry asked bewildered.

 

“I knew it. You think it’s a bad idea too. I should never have-“ Harry stopped Zayn’s rambling by grabbing his hand.

 

“ZayZay I never said it was a bad decision. I was just shocked. Why did he invite you to Paris?” Harry sounded confused.

 

“He’s going there on a business trip tomorrow and he was talking about a date, then he just asked me to have the date with him in Paris. And I was so overwhelmed I said yes.” Zayn looked at Harry feeling worried. His parents would never approve. Going to a foreign country with a man he barely knew. Fuck.

 

Harry was silent for a few moments then he gripped Zayn’s tightly and leaned forward.

 

“I think you should go.”

 

“Haz… my parents...” Zayn started weakly.

 

“They won’t suspect a thing. Remember last year how you covered up for me with my mom when I was at Rick’s college dorm for a whole weekend? I’ll cover for you too. And your parents are so trusting they would never call or bother you like my mom did.” Harry said.

 

“Well I already told Liam you could lie for me.” Zayn smiled faintly. “And your mom was so suspicious of you I had to literally put my little sisters on the phone and make them lie to cover your ass.”

“And I love you for it. I’ll do the same for you.” Harry smiled. “You deserve to have this Zayn. You’re a wonderful fucking person and you deserve this Paris date and all the things this man wants to give you. Let go and live a little. God knows in September when Uni starts up we’ll be dying.”

 

“Ok.” Zayn took a deep breath. “Ok. I guess I… I should.” Zayn said.

 

“You definitely should. Wait! What excuse will you give for missing work?” Harry asked.

 

“I don’t know Liam just said he’ll take care of it. I don’t really know what that means but I guess he’ll do something. And if Serayah or Amanda ask, tell them I’m sick.” Zayn said.

 

“Look at your scheming little ass. A month ago you were lecturing me about not lying to my mom and to stop fucking about. I’m proud of you becoming slightly corrupt.” Harry hugged Zayn and ruffled his hair.

 

“I’m not becoming corrupt Haz. Not like you anyways.” Zayn grinned.

 

“Very funny. And Liam seems like a classy man, but if he forces something just kick him in the nuts Zayn.” Harry said.

 

“Y-You think he- he plans on having sex?” Zayn grew panicked suddenly. He had agreed to this thinking it was just a date. But Liam wasn’t some teenage virgin fool like him. He was a grown, sexually active man. What If he expected sex?

 

“No babe. Don’t think like that. He’s so protective and all gentle with you he would never do that. I can tell. He wouldn’t do that ZayZay.” Harry patted Zayn’s arm.

 

They couldn’t talk anymore because at that point the girls came back in from their lunch break and they had to stop their conversation. The rest of the day Zayn had an internal freak out wondering what would exactly happen on this trip. And mostly he just kept cursing himself for being stupid enough to agree to it. He could have asked for a date later on. Maybe he should talk to Liam. No. Part of Zayn forced that decision down because he did actually want to see what Liam had planned in Paris. To be honest, the man had swayed him completely.

 

**

 

It was around dawn the next morning with the sky was streaked in stunning shades of gold and pink, and Zayn was waiting outside Harry’s front door. He had gone home after work yesterday as usual. Then when he got home he told his parents that for the next two days he was planning to sleep at Harry’s house. The best lie he could think of was that they were needed super early at work the next two days and he would stay at Harry’s house because the subway was closer from there. When his parents seemed skeptical about that lie, he rambled on further saying Harry was really upset about something and needed Zayn for a few days. Eventually his parents believed him and that’s what hurt him the most. They trusted him so easily because they believed he was an honest kid. But he had told them a massive lie as he flew off to anther continent with an older man. Yeah. If they ever found out, he was so fucking dead.

 

Zayn had packed a light duffle bag and very discreetly snuck his passport out of his dad’s safe. His dad had told him the code in case of emergencies and right now Zayn was betraying that very trust. He also grabbed the little bit of saved money he had stashed away under his bed and brought it along. Who knew how expensive things in Paris would be and he couldn’t let Liam pay for everything. He had felt guilty the entire night that he slept at Harry’s house thinking about his parents. Harry had reassured him that it would all be fine and even if it wasn’t at least Zayn got to live a little. He had spent all night comforting Zayn that it would all be okay before he hugged him and said his goodbyes, since Zayn had to leave super early, and fell asleep. Liam had texted him that the car would pick him up at 6 a.m. so that he could reach the airport on time. To say that he was anxious or nervous was putting it lightly. Zayn was, more or less, metaphorically shitting himself. He was about to fly with Liam to a foreign country and he had no idea what to expect. As Zayn was having a mini breakdown, a sleek black town car pulled up. Knowing this had to be for him Zayn walked over to the car and got into the back.

 

“Mr. Malik?” the driver asked.

 

“Yes that’s me.” Zayn answered.

 

“Good morning. I’ve been told to take you to JFK. Mr. Payne is waiting there for you.” The man said.

 

“Okay,” Zayn answered feebly.

 

The entire ride to the airport he practised his breathing exercise because this was about to be something completely out of the realm of all his life experiences. He was nervous as fuck but a little bit of the bubbling happiness was slowly bursting through. Liam was taking him to Paris. This was- insane. Never in his life had he imagined his first date to be like this. Liam didn’t even know that he was taking Zayn on his first date ever and completely shattering him to pieces.

 

Before Zayn knew it, the car was driving down a smaller road and pulling up into an open space. As they drove down a longer road he could see they had driven directly onto a small runway and in the near distance was the private jet that read “PAYNE” on the side. Zayn could feel his breathing getting shallower as they drove closer. The JFK airport could be seen in the distance so they must be boarding from right on the runway. Zayn had been on a plane once as a child when he went to Pakistan with his family and he didn’t remember much about it except how frightened he’d been on the plane at take-off.

 

“Oh my god. Fuck. Shit. This is happening. Okay.” Zayn could feel his heart race even faster as the car came to a stop. He clenched his fists and took a few deep breaths.

 

“Mr. Malik?” the man at the front looked at him concerned.

 

“Sorry. I’m just… Thank you for the ride.” Zayn picked up his bag and exited the car.

 

The car drove away and Zayn turned around. He saw a black SUV parked up ahead. Then his eyes spotted Liam. Zayn bit his lip to hold back his smile. Liam was dressed casually in dark jeans and a white henley as he leaned against his car smoking. He was talking to someone who was in what looked to be a pilot’s uniform and another man in a suit. Zayn stood awkwardly frozen, not knowing what to do and just fiddled with the strap of his bag. Then Liam looked up and met his gaze and broke out into a smile. He said something to the two men who both shook his hands. The one in the suit got into the car and the pilot climbed the steps into the jet. Liam started making his way over to Zayn and Zayn moved forward tentatively too. Liam came to a stop in front of Zayn and put his hands on his waist.

 

“Bambi eyes you came,” Liam grinned.

 

“I did,” Zayn smiled back shyly.

 

Liam smiled at him and drew Zayn closer to himself. He leaned forward and placed a few sweet kisses on the side of his face.

 

“Let’s go baby.” Liam took Zayn’s bag from him in one hand and took his hand in the other and led him towards the jet.

 

They climbed the steps up to the jet and were greeted by a smiling air hostess.

 

“Welcome aboard Mr. Payne and Mr. Malik.” She smiled politely at them as they entered.

 

Liam gave her a smile and, still holding Zayn’s hand, walked into the jet. It was massive with dark wooden panels on the sides and rich creamy leather seats that were large and comfortable. They all had ‘LP’ in cursive writing engraved on them. Liam started to put Zayn’s bag away in a compartment that held some other luggage as well.

 

“Can I get you anything to drink?” The air hostess asked them.

 

“Coffee, black.” Liam answered then he turned to Zayn. “Zayn?”

 

“Um,” Zayn looked at the air hostess who was waiting patiently for his reply.

 

“Water or juice is fine. Thanks.” Zayn gave her a small smile.

 

“Of course sir. And we will be taking off in about ten minutes so if you could buckle up.” She walked away past a curtain separating the front of the plane from the back.

 

“Zayn.” Zayn turned around to see Liam sitting down on one the seats that was a part of a quad of seats, two on either side facing each other with a table in the middle. Liam signalled Zayn to come sit down. Zayn gave Liam a timid smile and went forward to sit across from him but Liam caught him around his waist and pulled him down into his lap. Zayn’s breath got stuck in his lungs as he stared up at Liam from where he was wrapped in Liam’s arms in his lap, with their faces only a few centimetres apart.

 

“Hello,” Liam smirked.

 

“Hi,” Zayn breathed out.

 

“Are you excited about seeing Paris for the first time?” Liam asked keeping his arms around Zayn.

 

Zayn nodded not being able verbally speak up since he was still flustered from being pulled into Liam’s lap. The air hostess walked back in with their drinks on a tray and set them down on the table in front of them keeping her face neutral the whole time.

 

“Thank you Nicole.” Liam said to her.

 

“If you could please buckle up now since we are about to take off.” She gave them a smile then walked back, past the curtain, to take her own seat.

 

“I- I think I should sit down and fasten my seatbelt,” Zayn said breathlessly.

 

“But I like you here,” Liam murmured with a sly grin as he cupped Zayn’s cheek and stroked it with his thumb.

 

“I need a belt though. I’m nervous about flying.” Zayn said looking at Liam with worried eyes.

 

“Don’t be. I’m right here.” Liam assured him.

 

Liam loosened his arms around him so Zayn could slide into the seat beside Liam. Zayn felt a twinge of disappointment of not being in Liam’s lap anymore but he did feel safer as he put on the seatbelt and tugged on it to make sure it was secure. Liam chuckled from beside him watching his antics. Zayn pouted at him, Liam’s smile grew wider and he picked up Zayn’s hand and left a lingering kiss on the back of it. Even after pulling it away from his lips he kept holding onto Zayn’s hand. The engines of the plane were purring and they started to inch forward. Zayn took a deep breath as he felt a rush of fear hit his body. Suddenly he couldn’t figure out why he had climbed aboard the plane as his heart started to race and he felt trapped. He was so busy panicking, he didn’t notice that Liam had grabbed on more tightly to his hand and was turning Zayn’s face towards himself.

 

“Zayn. Look at me. Don’t think about the plane, just concentrate on me.” Liam said soothingly.

 

Zayn looked up at Liam’s face and was met with the comforting gaze of his deep brown eyes.

 

“Just concentrate on me baby.” Liam said gently and lifted the barrier between their seats so he could pull Zayn closer.

 

Normally, Zayn would never even think of doing something like this. His shyness around Liam was still very much present but with the anxiousness the speeding up of the plane was causing, Zayn felt so comforted by Liam that he scooted forward and turned his face to bury it in Liam’s shoulder. He tightened his grip on Liam’s hand and closed his eyes just inhaling Liam’s scent to calm himself. He felt Liam wrap an arm around him to hold him closer and he faintly registered a kiss being placed on his temple. Zayn kept his eyes closed and breathed in and out slowly as he felt the plane speed up and eventually take off the ground. Liam held on to him tightly and murmured soothing words the whole time. When they were finally in the air and everything had settled down, Zayn let out a breath and lifted his face. Liam was looking down at him with a smile. He rubbed Zayn’s arm gently and Zayn moved back feeling embarrassed.

 

“Um. I’m so sorry about that. I got a little panicked…” Zayn started fiddling with the zipper on his hoodie and avoided Liam’s eyes.

 

“Zayn. It’s okay babe. Honestly. I’m glad I could comfort you.” Liam turned his face back with a reassuring smile.

 

Zayn felt his heart burst for the fifty millionth time and smiled back at Liam. He then pulled off his belt and readjusted himself in his seat just as Nicole walked back in.

 

“Can I get you anything Sir? Any breakfast or another drink?” She asked.

 

“I’m okay. Zayn?” Liam turned to him.

 

“I’m fine as well. Thank you.” Zayn said politely.

 

“No problem. And the bedroom in the back has been all set if you would like to rest. I’ll be right past the curtain. If you need anything, you can just press the button.” She smiled and walked away.

 

“I actually have a little bit of work to do so I won’t be resting, but if you want to sleep for the next couple of hours there’s a queen-sized bed in the back.” Liam said looking at Zayn.

 

“No it’s fine. I’ll just um, stay out here too.” Zayn didn’t want to go about messing up Liam’s room in case he wanted to rest at some point, so he reached into his backpack and pulled out his weathered copy of ‘The Great Gatsby.’

 

Liam was powering on his MacBook when he happened to glance Zayn’s way and seeing the book he smirked at Zayn.

 

“Pretty hazel eyed boys who read Fitzgerald in their down time.” Liam said in a low amused voice shaking his head.

 

Zayn felt his face turn a vicious red colour and he slouched down in his seat burying his face into the pages of his book. For the next half hour he read his book silently, occasionally glancing at Liam discreetly to see the man absorbed in his work. Zayn realized with a sharp pang to his gut that along with every look of Liam, this serious ‘work mode’ look also turned him on immensely. Realizing he may be acting like a creep again, he forced his gaze away. A few chapters in and Zayn could feel his eyes start to droop and his head start to get fuzzy. Not used to being awake so early, Zayn drifted off to sleep with his head leaning back against his seat. Zayn was in the blurry stages of just having fallen asleep when he felt his body being shifted slowly. He peeked one eye open slightly to see that Liam had gently pulled Zayn’s head down to rest against his own shoulder so it wouldn’t keep dropping. Then he proceeded to drape a blanket over Zayn’s body.

 

“You sure are adorable when you’re asleep bambi eyes.” Liam murmured not knowing Zayn was awake and listening.

 

Zayn controlled the blush and smile threatening to break his face in half, and feigning sleep he curled further into Liam to drift back into a comfortable and peaceful sleep. 

 

 

**

**

 

 

 

 

BONUS: A sneak-peek into chapter 5 as a thank you to all you wonderful people.

 

 

 

Zayn pulled his t-shirt down onto his body and was reaching towards his pajama bottoms when he happened to glance up into the mirror of the dresser and saw something in the reflection that made all the air get knocked out of him. Liam had left the door to the bathroom slightly ajar when he had gone to shower and now Zayn watched as he walked towards the foggy mirror of the bathroom tying a towel around his waist. Liam’s body was something Zayn was sure he could write a twenty-page thesis statement on, arguing on how it was the most beautiful human body he had ever seen. Planes of hard muscle rippled over his body as he stood in front of the mirror towelling his messy wet hair with a smaller towel. The tattoos that covered his arms stood out starkly, looking even darker with his skin fresh from the shower. Water droplets slid down at an agonizing pace from his hair and shoulders, down his abs, and disappeared into where the towel hung low on his waist. His v-line was so prominent, Zayn felt himself swallow shakily. Suddenly Zayn saw Liam reach towards his towel to undo it and Zayn snapped into action turning around so his back was to Liam. He couldn’t just look at Liam naked. Liam probably didn’t even know Zayn was watching him. Zayn kept his back towards the bathroom so he wouldn’t be able to see Liam. He closed his eyes and took deep shaky breaths to try and control the raging arousal building inside him. He didn’t want to pop a boner and have Liam see that. That kind of embarrassment could only end in Zayn having a heart-attack. Zayn was so busy twisting his hands tightly trying to think of every mundane thing possible to wash away the image of Liam’s body from his mind, that he didn’t even hear Liam approaching.

 

“Zayn you- “ Liam started and Zayn whipped around surprised thudding into the dresser behind him and causing the glass of water he had set there earlier to launch off the dresser and shatter beside his foot spilling the water onto his foot and the floor.

 

“Oh shit! Don’t move.” Liam knelt down onto the ground and started picking up the pieces of the broken glass.

 

Zayn stood there so stunned gripping the edges of the dresser behind himself so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. He stared down at Liam who had pulled on sweats before exiting the bathroom, but no shirt, with a towel around his neck. The sweats hung so low on his hips that Zayn could see the trail of hair disappearing down and his v-line and hip bones. Zayn bit his lip and turned his gaze away a little knowing that getting turned on would do him more harm than good. He felt a hand around his ankle and looked down. Liam was looking up at him curiously.

 

“You okay?” he asked.

 

Zayn nodded hurriedly. Liam put the pieces of glass to the side then slid his towel off his neck and started wiping off Zayn’s foot gently. Zayn’s heart started pounding so fast that the noise was practically deafening. Blood rushed to his ears and drowned out every single one of his thoughts. After Zayn’s foot was dry, Liam continued to hold onto it and looked up at Zayn. He had a fierce look in his eyes that was screaming passion and Zayn’s entire body erupted into pandemonium. Keeping his dark eyes locked with Zayn, Liam kissed his ankle softly. Then he pressed another kiss on his calf. Zayn gasped out loud and gripped onto the dresser more tightly. His eyes couldn’t stay focused and he knew his eyelashes were fluttering uncontrollably again. Liam ran a hand up Zayn’s leg which shocked Zayn into remembering that whilst staring at Liam he hadn’t finished changing and he stood in only his black briefs and white t-shirt. Liam was trailing his fingers up and down Zayn’s leg then he leaned forward and left a kiss on Zayn’s thigh just above his knee. Zayn closed his eyes because he knew if he kept looking down he would explode into a raging fire. He could feel Liam’s fingers trailing the inside of his leg, starting from his calf and up to his inner thigh. They seemed to be circling a particular spot and when Zayn looked down he could see Liam was tracing his finger over a small mole Zayn had on his inner thigh, right below where his briefs ended. Liam looked up at Zayn for a second then leaned forward and kissed right over the spot, on the soft skin of Zayn’s inner thigh. Zayn’s toes curled automatically at the sensuality of the intimate yet insanely gentle kiss. No one else had ever touched him there before and he realized just how sensitive he was.

 

“L- Liam,” Zayn whimpered out.

 

Liam stood up in a tormenting and slow way, dragging every inch of his body against Zayn’s. He gripped Zayn’s hips tightly and lifted him up to place him on the dresser.

 

“Baby,” Liam said dragging out the last syllable in an excruciatingly sexy way.

 

He ran his hands up Zayn’s thighs to his waist. Then wrapping his arms around Zayn’s slim waist, he dragged him forward right to the edge of the dresser. Zayn bit his lip and looked up at Liam with hazy eyes. Liam was looking back at him with eyes so dark that the brown irises had almost completely disappeared. He brought his hand up to cradle Zayn’s face with his fingers running through Zayn’s thick hair. Zayn’s own hands came up automatically to slide up Liam’s chest. It felt cool underneath his feverish palms. Their faces had no distance left between them and Liam tilted his head to kiss along Zayn’s jaw.

 

“Liam…” Zayn sighed out.

 

“Baby boy if you keep making those sounds and saying my name like that, I might not be able to control myself.” Liam murmured then moved back to hold Zayn’s face.

 

Zayn swallowed feeling his entire body start to tremble in Liam’s arms. He looked at Liam’s face and his eyes slowly lowered to his lips. He realized with a blinding rush of desire that he wanted Liam to kiss him. Kiss him then and there or else he might go up in flames. Most of the thoughts and emotions in his life he always felt unsure about, but right now Zayn realized he needed Liam more than air. And that nothing could compare to Liam’s touches or his gentle kisses placed on Zayn’s face, but he needed it to go further and he needed to feel those lips against his own. He needed, more than anything, for Liam to lower his head and shatter Zayn’s mind, body and soul by kissing him.

 

**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it. Honestly in my mind I thought I would be able to cover a chunk of the Paris trip in this chapter (since it's very lengthy) but the lead up to it took so long I wasn't able to. But the next chapter is all completely Ziam in Paris. Let me know what you thought in the comments or on my tumblr or twitter.
> 
>  
> 
> Urdu words translations:
> 
> -Asalamualaikum : greeting, way to say hello, means peace be upon you  
> -Walaikumasalam: the second person responds with this, means peace be upon you as well  
> -meri jaan: my jaan (love)  
> -baji: older sister, used as sign of respect  
> -bhai/bhaiya: both ways of saying older brother, also used as sign of respect  
> -mamoo: uncle  
> -mamoo ki jaan: uncles jaan (love)  
> -Naani: maternal grandmother  
> -Nana Abu: maternal grandfather  
> -lehnga: bridal dress  
> -Wallahi: I swear to Allah/God  
> -Shahrukh Khan: Bollywood actor


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovely people. It's been a rough couple of days for me and this chapter got delayed a couple of times because shit kept going wrong in my life, but anyways it's finally here. I love you all and can not explain how much I appreciate your support and wonderful comments. I get real tears in my eyes no joke. Just thank you. Thank you so much. I love you all. 
> 
> Enjoy :) 
> 
> (Any urdu words will be translated at the end and also a sentence in french)

 

 

[Photoset/Moodboard for Can't Help Falling in Love with You](http://zaynsbambieyes.tumblr.com/post/156678978856)

 

It was around 8 p.m. when they reached Paris. A car had been waiting for them at the airport to take them to Liam’s own hotel in Paris. Amongst the chain of hotels he had worldwide (all named ‘PC’), the Paris one was one of his personal favourites. It was the first international hotel his dad had made and it was absolutely beautiful. It had a direct view of the Eiffel Tower and the surrounding scenery. The penthouse suite was his own and was never booked for other guests. And that’s where they were headed today as well.

 

Liam had to help Zayn to the car with a hand to his back because the boy seemed a little fuzzy from the nap he had on the jet. His eyes kept blinking back sleep and Liam found him utterly adorable in his state of confusion. The drive to the hotel was just a blur of lights as they passed through the city. When they passed by the Eiffel Tower, Liam noticed Zayn sit upright and look at it with amazement till they were past it. When he realized Liam was watching him he blushed and turned away slightly which prompted Liam to reach over the seat and take his hand.

 

“Welcome to Paris Zayn.” Liam said stroking his hand.

 

They reached the hotel soon enough and Liam picked up the key card for his suite from the manager who was waiting to greet them. Then he led Zayn over to the elevator with a hand to his back, leaving behind their bags in the car for a bell-hop to bring them up. When they reached their suite and entered, Liam saw Zayn pause with wide eyes to look around. The suite was the most spacious and expensive one in the building complete with a bedroom, living room area, dining area, a kitchen and a large private balcony that looked right out at the Eiffel Tower which was glowing magnificently against the dark backdrop of the night. Zayn had walked over to the balcony and stepped outside to gaze at the Eiffel Tower in awe. Liam smiled and followed after him.

 

“It’s amazing isn’t it?” Liam asked.

 

“Breath-taking.” Zayn whispered.

 

“Are you tired? Did you want to sleep?” Liam questioned him.

 

Zayn turned to Liam and shook his head. “I slept so much on the plane, I’m not that sleepy anymore.” Zayn answered him.

 

“Okay. I’m going to order room service for dinner. It looks like you might be too exhausted to go out right now.” Liam said while noticing the fatigue showing on the boy’s, still heart-breakingly beautiful, face

 

“Okay.” Zayn gave Liam a small smile.

 

Liam felt his heart skip a beat, as always, at the boy’s smile. They way Zayn smiled it was as if he wasn’t even aware of all the damage it was doing. He smiled so tentatively and rarely which made it so fucking special.

 

“Anything specific you want?” Liam slowly walked over to Zayn and circled his arms around his waist.

 

“Um. I- I’m not too familiar with French foods. Anything simple is okay. Not that snail stuff.” Zayn wrinkled his nose and Liam laughed fondly.

 

“And um… no bacon or pork in anything please.” Zayn added on.

 

“Of course babe. I know you can’t have that stuff.” Liam rubbed Zayn’s side from where his arms held him.

 

“’ll just get something simple like pasta is that okay?” Liam said to which Zayn nodded.

 

Liam slipped away from Zayn to go place the order, while Zayn stayed out there continuing to watch the city lights. Liam saw their bags had been brought in and placed by the door. He picked up the menu and called down to place his order, getting a variety of things so Zayn could choose what he liked. While he was on the phone he saw Zayn walk back in. He had a strange look on his face as he looked around the suite taking in the details, as if was trying to figure something out. Looking slightly stressed out, he came and sat on the opposite side of the couch where Liam sat in the living room.

 

“It could take between 20-30 minutes,” Liam said as he closed his phone. Zayn nodded absent mindedly while still glancing around the room. “What’s wrong babe?”

 

“Umm,” Zayn started nervously tugging at his own sleeves. “There’s um. There’s only one bedroom. With just one king sized bed.” Zayn looked at Liam worried.

 

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I always stay in this suite whenever I come, it’s just for me. And I was just initially coming alone…” Liam noticed Zayn’s agitation and slid forward on the couch to squeeze Zayn’s hand.

 

“Zayn. The one bed situation wasn’t some implication that I want you in it with me. I’m not expecting anything like that from you baby. Everything was just so last minute I didn’t get a chance to book a second room or get a suite with two bedrooms. If it makes you really uncomfortable I can go to reception and ask for another room for myself and you can stay here.” Liam said while resting his hand on Zayn’s knee.

 

“No. Please don’t. I would feel awful. I don’t want you to go through the hassle of going down and asking for another room or paying for another one.” Zayn rushed out.

 

“Zayn, this is my hotel. I wouldn’t be paying for anything. And I’m sure I could find an empty room.” Liam reassured him.

 

“Still. Don’t. It would just make me feel really bad. I don’t want to put you through any trouble.” Zayn sighed.

 

“Ok. Well, you can have the bedroom and I’ll sleep on this couch here.” Liam said.

 

“What? No! Liam you… it’s- it’s your room, you should take the bedroom. I’ll be fine on the couch.” Zayn looked at Liam with wide panicked eyes.

 

“No. Don’t even try arguing with me Zayn. You’re going to take the bed and I’m going to be on the couch.” Liam said sternly.

 

Zayn opened his mouth to protest but Liam grabbed his arm and tugged him forward till Zayn was right beside him.

 

“You literally can _not_ win this argument Zayn. The bedroom is yours and I’m going to be out here. Otherwise I’ll go book a completely new room.” Liam said firmly while looking at Zayn.

 

Zayn eventually just sighed and nodded his head.

 

“Fine.” He answered although he still sounded bothered by it.

 

“Good.” Liam smiled and kissed Zayn’s cheek who reacted with a head to toe flush.

 

“What um. What are your plans for the next day?” Zayn asked.

 

“Well I have my meeting to attend in the morning and then after that I’m all yours.” Liam smiled and ran his hand through Zayn’s fallen fringe. “I’ll show you Paris and then I have something really special planned for the evening.”

 

“What?” Zayn asked softly looking up at Liam with those insanely huge doe-eyes of his.

 

“That’s for me to know baby. And for you to find out tomorrow.” Liam said while giving Zayn a grin.

 

Zayn looked slightly worried but the door knocked and a hotel employee entered pushing a tray covered in way more than necessary food. Liam tipped the employee then turned around to see Zayn looking at Liam confused.

 

“Are you expecting someone?” Zayn asked curiously.

 

“No. why?” Liam laughed.

 

“That’s a lot of food.” Zayn waved at the cart looking astonished.

 

“For you to choose from. I know you wouldn’t just tell me upfront what you like to eat so I ordered all the safest options.” Liam smiled at Zayn and sat down beside him.

 

“Liam…” Zayn started.

 

“Eat babe. Then you should rest you look really worn out. You can shower if you want as well but then you should rest. Tomorrow will be a long day.” Liam said.

 

“Surprises make me nervous. Because I don’t know what to expect and then the whole day I’m worried if it’s going to be something that will make me anxious or…” Zayn stared down at his hands that were gripping a fork tightly.

 

“Baby,” Liam took the fork from his hands and set it down. Then he took Zayn’s hand into his own. “I would never want to do something to make you uncomfortable or anxious. I think you’ll like what I have planned. Do you trust me Zayn?” Liam tilted his face up to gaze into the wide golden eyes.

 

Zayn seemed to be looking at Liam carefully then he nodded his head in assertion.

 

“Good.” Liam kissed his hand then handed him back the fork. “Now you can go back to bending the poor fork out of shape.” Liam grinned at him.

 

Zayn’s face scrunched up in a ridiculously cute smile and he weakly shoved at Liam’s knee while his cheeks turned rosy. Whether Zayn was blushing, smiling or wearing one of his utterly bewildered looks, Liam realized he had a raging urge to see what other expressions he could get the boy to make. But he was in no rush. He would gladly spend all of eternity trying to win over Zayn because the boy was that wonderful. And achingly beautiful. He had no idea how much irreparable damage he had done to Liam. There was no coming back from this.

 

**

 

Zayn had taken advantage of the shower first, on Liam’s insistence, and was now outside in the bedroom of the suite pulling clothes out of his bag. Liam was in the bathroom adjoining the bedroom taking his shower. Zayn was trying his damn hardest to ignore the fact that a few metres away, Liam was naked. Showering. Water sluicing over his hard muscles. Mother of everything. Zayn shook his head, mentally asking Allah to put a pause on his wildly inappropriate emotions.

 

Zayn pulled his t-shirt down onto his body and was reaching towards his pajama bottoms when he happened to glance up into the mirror of the dresser he stood in front of and saw something in the reflection that made all the air get knocked out of him. Liam had left the door to the bathroom slightly ajar when he had gone to shower and now Zayn watched as he walked towards the foggy mirror of the bathroom tying a towel around his waist. Liam’s body was something Zayn was sure he could write a twenty-page thesis statement on, arguing on how it was the most beautiful human body he had ever seen. Planes of hard muscle rippled over his body as he stood in front of the mirror towelling his messy wet hair with a smaller towel. His tattoos that covered his arms stood out, looking even darker with his skin fresh from the shower. Water droplets slid down at an agonizing pace from his hair and shoulders, down his abs, and disappeared into where the towel hung low on his waist. His v-line was so prominent, Zayn felt himself swallow shakily. Suddenly Zayn saw Liam reach towards his towel to undo it and Zayn snapped into action turning around so his back was to Liam. He couldn’t just look at Liam naked. Liam probably didn’t even know Zayn was watching him. Zayn kept his back towards the bathroom so he wouldn’t be able to see Liam. He closed his eyes and took deep shaky breaths to try and control the raging arousal building inside him. He didn’t want to pop a boner and have Liam see that. That kind of embarrassment could only end in Zayn having a heart-attack. Zayn was so busy twisting his hands tightly trying to think of every mundane thing possible to wash away the image of Liam’s body from his mind, that he didn’t even hear Liam approaching.

 

“Zayn you- “ Liam started and Zayn whipped around surprised thudding into the dresser behind him and causing the glass of water he had set there earlier to launch off the dresser and shatter beside his foot spilling the water onto his foot and the floor.

 

“Oh shit! Don’t move.” Liam knelt down onto the ground and started picking up the pieces of the broken glass.

 

Zayn stood there so stunned gripping the edges of the dresser behind himself so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. He stared down at Liam who had pulled on sweats before exiting the bathroom, but no shirt, with a towel around his neck. The sweats hung so low on his hips that Zayn could see the trail of hair disappearing down and his v-line and hip bones. Zayn bit his lip and turned his gaze away a little knowing that getting turned on would do him more harm than good. He felt a hand around his ankle and looked down. Liam was looking up at him curiously.

 

“You okay?” he asked.

 

Zayn nodded hurriedly. Liam put the pieces of glass to the side then slid his towel off his neck and started wiping off Zayn’s foot gently. Zayn’s heart started pounding so fast that the noise was practically deafening. Blood rushed to his ears and drowned out every single one of his thoughts. After Zayn’s foot was dry, Liam continued to hold onto it and looked up at Zayn. He had a fierce look in his eyes that was screaming passion and Zayn’s entire body erupted into pandemonium. Keeping his dark eyes locked with Zayn, Liam kissed his ankle softly. Then he pressed another kiss on his calf. Zayn gasped out loud and gripped onto the dresser more tightly. His eyes couldn’t stay focused and he knew his eyelashes were fluttering uncontrollably again. Liam ran a hand up Zayn’s leg which shocked Zayn into remembering that whilst staring at Liam he hadn’t finished changing and he stood in only his black briefs and white t-shirt. Liam was trailing his fingers up and down Zayn’s leg then he leaned forward and left a kiss on Zayn’s thigh just above his knee. Zayn closed his eyes because he knew if he kept looking down he would explode into a raging fire. He could feel Liam’s fingers trailing the inside of his leg, starting from his calf and up to his inner thigh. They seemed to be circling a particular spot and when Zayn looked down he could see Liam was tracing his finger over a small mole Zayn had on his inner thigh, right below where his briefs ended. Liam looked up at Zayn for a second then leaned forward and kissed right over the spot, on the soft skin of Zayn’s inner thigh. Zayn’s toes curled automatically at the sensuality of the intimate yet insanely gentle kiss. No one else had ever touched him there before and he realized just how sensitive he was.

 

“L- Liam,” Zayn whimpered out.

 

Liam stood up in a tormenting and slow way, dragging every inch of his body against Zayn’s. He gripped Zayn’s hips tightly and lifted him up to place him on the dresser.

 

“Baby,” Liam said dragging out the last syllable in an excruciatingly sexy way.

 

He ran his hands up Zayn’s thighs to his waist. Then wrapping his arms around Zayn’s slim waist, he dragged him forward right to the edge of the dresser. Zayn bit his lip and looked up at Liam with hazy eyes. Liam was looking back at him with eyes so dark that the brown irises had almost completely disappeared. He brought his hand up to cradle Zayn’s face with his fingers running through Zayn’s thick hair. Zayn’s own hands came up automatically to slide up Liam’s chest. It felt cool underneath his feverish palms. Their faces had no distance left between them and Liam tilted his head to kiss along Zayn’s jaw.

 

“Liam…” Zayn sighed out.

 

“Baby boy if you keep making those sounds and saying my name like that I might not be able to control myself.” Liam murmured then moved back to hold Zayn’s face.

 

Zayn swallowed feeling his entire body start to tremble in Liam’s arms. He looked at Liam’s face and his eyes slowly lowered to his lips. He realized with a blinding rush of desire that he wanted Liam to kiss him. Kiss him then and there or else he might go up in flames. Most of the thoughts and emotions in his life he always felt unsure about, but right now Zayn realized he needed Liam more than air. And that nothing could compare to Liam’s touches or his gentle kisses placed on Zayn’s face, but he needed it to go further and he needed to feel those lips against his own. He needed, more than anything, for Liam to lower his head and shatter Zayn’s mind, body and soul by kissing him.

 

“L- Liam. I- I need… I need,” Zayn stammered out his voice sounding like he had run fifty miles.

 

“What baby? What do you need?” Liam moved back and cupped Zayn’s face his eyes hazy and brimming with hunger.  

 

Zayn drew in a ragged breath and closed his eyes trying to take a few deep breaths. His heart was hammering so loudly he was sure Liam could hear it too. All of his emotions were on overdrive. Zayn had never been drunk before but he’s sure he was right now. Drunk. Drunk on Liam and burning up with red-hot desire. But his mind was screaming at him from left and right with different suggestions. He wanted Liam so badly he felt he would pass out. But he was so unsure of himself he didn’t want to fuck this up. The ‘date’ hadn’t really begun yet and Zayn didn’t want to fuck up things up. What if he did something wrong and Liam was weirded out?

 

“Zayn?” Liam’s voice sounded thick and heavy with the very desire Zayn felt in his mind. He pressed a few soft kisses below Zayn’s jaw and his fingers were trailing the edges of Zayn’s briefs where they ended on his upper thighs. Zayn let out a shaky sigh and trembled slightly, feeling overwhelmed. He was so absorbed in the rampage of his own thoughts he didn’t register Liam calling his name for a second time. He felt a squeeze on his thigh and let out a soft whimper.

 

“Baby, you drive me mad. I won’t have any self control if you continue that. I want to respect your wishes Zayn and not make you uncomfortable by making you think I’m forcing anything.” Liam was resting his hands beside Zayn on the dresser and looking at him with a blend of concern and unconcealed lust.

 

Zayn felt his throat close up and he was unable to answer Liam. How could he explain to Liam that he wanted this so badly but he was just unsure of himself? Zayn hated his inability to explain himself properly especially now when he was about to explode and he just wanted Liam to pull him up into his arms and ruin him. His mouth opened and closed a couple of times then he just sighed and looked down into his lap dropping his hands from Liam’s chest.

 

“Zayn,” Liam said gently and took his hands.

 

Zayn looked up feeling embarrassed and saw Liam giving him a soft smile. He wrapped his arms around Zayn and littered a few kisses across his forehead as he placed Zayn back onto the floor.

 

“Don’t think too much baby. It’s okay. I understand. I really do.” Liam held his face and stroked his cheeks gently with his thumbs.

 

“I would wait a lifetime for you bambi eyes. You need to know that.” Liam took Zayn’s hand and led him towards the bed while Zayn followed him on rubber legs, feeling mute.

 

“Go to sleep now sweetheart. Tomorrow’s going to be a long day.” Liam pulled back the covers as Zayn sat down onto the bed slowly.

 

“I’m going to be sleeping out there if you need anything okay?” Liam said and Zayn nodded still refusing to meet Liam’s eyes.

 

“Goodnight Zayn.” Liam pressed a kiss to the top of his head and left the room closing the door gently.

 

Zayn let out a long sigh and fell back against the bed.

 

“Harry is right. I’m a class act. I fuck up everything.” Zayn rubbed his face.

 

Liam would have really kissed him if Zayn hadn’t gone into an anxiety overdrive and frozen up like an idiot. If this happened every time they got slightly close Zayn wasn’t too sure what he would do. Liam would tire of him and give up for sure. Who wanted to waste their time with someone as foolish as him?

 

“God.” Zayn pulled the covers over his face and closed his eyes.

 

Liam was way too good to him. It literally made no sense because he’d had multiple partners in the past and even now. He had no lack of ‘sex’ (to be frank) out there so why was he being so patient with Zayn? He’d even given up his bed for God’s sake. Zayn bolted up in bed and stared at the door. Liam didn’t deserve to sleep on the sofa. Not after he had been so kind. He even had a meeting in the morning and Zayn didn’t feel right about this. Zayn got up wrapping the duvet around his body and walked over to the door. He slowly opened it and realized Liam had shut off most of the lights outside. He padded over to the living room of the suite and saw Liam lying on the sofa, typing away on his phone with a sheet thrown over his lower body haphazardly. Zayn stood there for a few seconds admiring Liam’s face in the soft glow of his phone. Then he slowly moved forward.

 

“Liam,” Zayn started and Liam glanced up at him.

 

“Zayn? What’s up?” Liam sat up on the sofa putting his phone down.

 

“I- I don’t feel okay about taking the bed. You have a meeting in the morning that you need to be rested for. So you can go sleep inside. I’ll be okay here.” Zayn sat down on the sofa opposite Liam.

 

Liam grinned at Zayn while slowly rubbing his fingers over his beard. He raised an eyebrow at Zayn who had grabbed a cushion to make a make-shift bed on the sofa.

 

“Zayn I thought we had already been over this. I’m okay out here and you can sleep in there honestly.” Liam said laughing a little.

 

Zayn glanced at Liam then lay down on the sofa wrapping his body in the duvet. He thought if he just laid down here, he could force Liam into taking the bed.

 

“But I can’t. I feel bad. I’m just going to… I’m going to sleep here Liam. I can’t be sleeping in there all comfortable while I know you’re uncomfortable.” Zayn said.

 

Liam was about to say something so Zayn quickly spoke up again.

 

“I’m sleeping here. Goodnight Liam.” Zayn hurried out then pulled the duvet over his head and closed his eyes.

 

Now Liam had no choice but to use the bedroom because Zayn had left him no room to argue. Zayn was busy smiling to himself over his self-decided ‘smart moves’ when he felt his body get lifted. He let out a yelp and hastily pulled the duvet off his face. He realized Liam had picked him up still wrapped in the duvet.

 

“Liam!” Zayn said shocked, feeling his heart start to beat faster.

 

“You’re a stubborn boy Zayn. But a ridiculously adorable one.” Liam smirked at him as he carried Zayn over to the bedroom.

 

Zayn was utterly speechless and he just stared up at Liam feeling horribly embarrassed. But the tiny minions working the happy and lust factors of his brain were doing a group arm-wave cheering with excitement. Liam entered the room and gently set Zayn down on the bed, who was still a human burrito in the duvet. Liam gave him a fond smile and peeled a bit of the duvet down. He stroked Zayn’s hair off his forehead then leaned forward and pressed a lingering kiss to the centre of his forehead. Then he only pulled back a millimetre so his nose was touching Zayn’s.

 

“Now sleep Zayn. And don’t try coming back out and arguing about sleeping on the sofa. I may have to tie you down to the bed if necessary. Now that would be an image hard to resist.” Liam whispered as Zayn gulped.

 

“Okay. I’m sorry.” Zayn whispered back losing himself in Liam’s eyes.

 

“Goodnight baby.” Liam pressed a kiss on his cheek, then one to the side of Zayn’s mouth which made his breathing hitch.

 

Liam stroked his face gently then got up giving him a smile and walked back outside, shutting the door again. Zayn felt a blush and smile creep onto his face and he turned to bury his face into the pillow touching his face where Liam had kissed him.

 

“Ya Allah I’m so gone for this man.” Zayn mumbled into his pillow.

 

He relived ever moment of the day over and over in his mind till his intense want became so much he fell into an exhausted state of sleep.

 

**

 

It was a buzzing sound that pulled Zayn out of his deep sleep. He blinked open his eyes confused and looked around the room. At first he couldn’t tell where he was and felt a little panicked. Then his eyes went over to the glass doors leading to the balcony and a blurry image of the Eiffel Tower seen in the distance woke him up. Everything came rushing back to his mind. Zayn glanced at the clock and saw that it was 10 a.m. He was contemplating getting up when the buzzing sound came again. Zayn sat up confused and looked at his phone. It wasn’t that. Then he heard a knock and he realized it was coming from outside. He jumped out of bed grabbing his pants from his bag. He yanked them onto his body and rushed towards the door of the suite to open it. A man stood there in an employee’s uniform with a cart of food beside him.

 

“Bonjour Monsieur.” The man smiled at him.

 

“Um, bonjour.” Zayn said rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

 

“I am sorry if I woke you up but Mr. Payne asked for breakfast to be delivered to you at 10 a.m.” The man said while gesturing to the cart.

 

Zayn could smell the rich aroma of coffee, freshly baked bread and pastries, and his stomach grumbled loudly. He turned red as the man smiled at him clearly having heard it.

 

“Th- thanks. Thank you. I can take it.” Zayn grabbed the handle of the cart and pulled it into the room thanking the man once again and shutting the door.

 

He pulled it over to the living room area and sat down on the sofa. He was about to grab a glass of the orange juice when he spotted a white paper on the coffee table with his name on it. He picked it up curiously noticing it was thick white paper folded in half with the hotels name on the top. He opened it up and realizing it was a note from Liam he smiled to himself.

 

_“Zayn –_

_Good Morning, Mon Cheri. I presume you’re awake now and breakfast has been delivered to you like I instructed. I’m sorry I’m not there with you but I had to get up at 9 and leave for this meeting. I asked Alfred (the manager) to have a variety of breakfast items delivered to you so you can eat whatever you like before we meet today. I remember Harry saying you’re a ‘slut for all things chocolatey’ so I made sure they got you chocolate croissants and pastries. Enjoy them sweetheart. After you finish your breakfast I will be sending a car to pick you up around noon and bring you to a specific location. A set of clothes will be delivered to the room before then, that you can change into. The rest of the day I will be showing you Paris and then the surprise I have planned for the evening. I’ll see you when I see you bambi eyes._

_\-- Liam”_

Despite being alone in the room Zayn felt his cheeks heat up and he hid his face in the paper. He shook his head smiling and traced his fingers over the words on the paper.

 

“Liam.” Zayn sighed shaking his head. He folded the note carefully and put it into his pocket then reached towards the food cart to grab a chocolate croissant from the basket.

 

“How is he real Allah? Have I been dreaming these past few days?” Zayn bit into the croissant and let out a moan at the taste. He smiled to himself knowing that today was probably going to be the best day of his entire life. A day he wouldn’t forget even when he was old and losing his memory. This would be permanently etched into his mind for eternity

 

**

 

Zayn was anxiously waiting in the lobby of the hotel checking his phone constantly for the time. It was already noon and he had come down to the lobby five minutes ago waiting for the car Liam said he would send. Somewhere in Paris right now Liam was waiting for him. To take Zayn on not only his first date ever, but a date he knew he wouldn’t survive mentally. After Zayn had finished his breakfast earlier someone had come to the room to deliver a black garment bag. Zayn had thanked them then taken it into the room and slowly unzipped it. His eyes flew wide open when he saw the clothes. He ran his hand tentatively down the silky soft material of the clothes in awe. Liam had sent a deep red turtle necked sweater made out of extremely light weight material that wouldn’t make him feel warm on this summer day. Slim black pants accompanied the top made in just as soft material. Zayn had slipped them onto his body and stared at himself in the mirror for ten minutes. The red of the shirt complimented his soft golden skin and the dark locks of his hair. They hugged his body just right, accentuating all the angles of his lean body. The pants especially fitted his legs so perfectly. Zayn usually never felt good about his appearance but he realized that maybe it was the clothes, but he thought he looked pretty all right. There were shoes accompanying the clothes as well which he put on. Then he spent twenty minutes to get his hair to sit right.

 

“Mr. Malik?” A man was stood in front of him looking at him expectantly. Zayn snapped out of his thoughts.

 

“Yes that’s me.” Zayn answered.

 

“Your car is here.” He smiled at Zayn.

 

“Oh ok. Thank you so much.” Zayn smiled back and followed the man out of the lobby. The man held open the back door of the car for Zayn.

 

“Enjoy your day.” He said.

 

“Thank you…” Zayn looked at him before he got into the car.

 

“Alfred. I am the manager here.” The man answered.

 

“Alfred. Thank you so much sir.” Zayn smiled at the man then got in to the back seat of the car. The driver up front greeted him which Zayn returned. He then proceeded to start driving without informing Zayn where they were going. Maybe Liam wanted to keep it as a surprise. Zayn looked out the window of the car as they drove through the city, realizing that his excitement was overpowering his anxiety and he felt really good about the day. His heart was racing knowing he would be seeing Liam soon and that as always Liam would probably do something to blow his mind.

 

It felt like only a few minutes later that the car stopped. Zayn looked out the window and noticed they were parked on the side of the road and in front of him he could see the Eiffel Tower. His heart beat quickened.

 

“Is this where Mr. Payne is?” Zayn asked.

 

“Yes he is here,” the driver answered in a heavy French accent and smiled at Zayn.

 

“But where-“ Zayn started to ask when his phone began to ring. He looked at his phone and noticed Liam was calling him. A smile spread across his face and he picked it up.

 

“Hi,” Zayn said picking up the phone.

 

“Hey baby. You here?” Liam asked from the other end and Zayn could hear a lot of noise in the back as if Liam was in a crowd.

 

“I’m here. Where are you?” Zayn asked.

 

“When you climb out of the car just start walking straight. You’ll see me. I’m waiting at the bottom of the tower.” Liam answered him and Zayn could detect a smile in his voice.

 

“O- Okay. Umm thank you sir,” Zayn said to the driver then climbed out of the car and started walking forward.

 

“What if I get lost? I don’t know this city or the language.” Zayn said to Liam feeling slightly distressed.

 

“Don’t worry babe I’m here with you. Just trust me and follow the walkway. I’m waiting here for you.” Liam reassured him.

 

“What if I got robbed or killed on the way and we never get to meet?” Zayn joked weakly.

 

“I would kill anyone who tried to harm you.” Liam answered as if it was a just a basic fact of life.

 

“Liam…” Zayn said feeling blown away.

 

“Zayn.” Liam answered with a teasing lilt to his voice.

 

“I’m really close now,” Zayn said looking up at the intimidatingly large tower looming above him.

 

“I’m waiting on the steps at the base of the tower.” Liam told him.

 

“Okay I-“ Zayn stopped because he had reached the steps and spotted Liam. His heart skipped a beat as he took Liam in. He was leaning against the railing of the steps his arm casually slung across it as he blew smoke up towards the sky. He had his phone to his ear with his other hand. Zayn felt many unnamed emotions start to boil up inside him ready to spill over and seep through his skin. Liam wore a black button down dress shirt and black pants, fitted perfectly. His sleeves had been rolled up and his tattoos were striking in the daylight. His brown hair, pushed into a perfect style, was gleaming with streaks of gold shining through as well. His hand with the rose tattoos brought his cigarette to his lips as he took another drag.

 

“Zayn? You still there?” Liam sounded worried and Zayn could see worry flash on his face.

 

“Y- yes I am. I’m here. I mean I’m here-here. I see you.” Zayn said feeling breathless.

 

At that point Liam turned slightly and noticed Zayn. A dark looked flashed across his face and his mouth turned up into a grin.

 

“You’ve managed to upturn every definition of beautiful there is in this world baby. Those simple words do you no justice. You’re fucking heart-stopping, mind-numbingly, unrealistically beautiful. Truly the most exquisite.” Liam said into the phone while gazing at Zayn from he stood a few metres away.

 

Zayn felt his body heat up as all the blood rushed to the surface of his skin and he knew his cheeks matched the shade of his shirt. Liam had shut his phone and started down the steps towards him. He stopped on the last step standing right in front of Zayn who stood below him on the ground.

 

Liam took Zayn’s hand and brought him up onto the same step. His eyes were slowly taking Zayn in head to toe with a look of raw hunger in his eyes. When his eyes came back up to meet Zayn’s they had a sparkle in them.

 

“You.” Liam simply said and pulled Zayn towards his body, wrapping his arms around his waist.

 

“What happened?” Zayn said softly looking right up at Liam’s face.

 

“You happened. To me that is.” Liam gave Zayn a small smirk then tilted his head down to press a kiss to Zayn’s jaw line. Zayn melted into the touch feeling himself go lax against Liam’s body.

 

“Ready to go up?” Liam murmured into his ear.

 

Zayn nodded as he moved back a little.

 

“I am a little afraid of heights though.” Zayn said in a low voice.

 

“Don’t worry baby. I’m here. I would never let anything happen to you.” Liam took Zayn’s hand pressing a chaste kiss to the back of it then turned to take them up the steps.

 

**

 

“Wow.” Zayn was standing near the railing of the top floor of the Eiffel Tower looking out at the city sprawling below him.

 

Liam stood behind Zayn his eyes watching the boy rather than the view down below.

 

“It’s all so beautiful.” Zayn was saying his voice laced with excitement.

 

“It truly is.” Liam answered looking instead at Zayn whose face was alight with happiness and his eyes sparkling with joy. When Liam had seen Zayn walking towards him earlier he felt like all the air had been sucked from his lungs. The boy was already so painstakingly beautiful but the way the red sweater and fitted black pants hugged his body made Liam feel lightheaded. His hesitant smiles and unsure nature only made every feeling triple. This boy had been sent to rip Liam apart. 

 

Zayn turned around smiling, and when he noticed the way Liam was watching him so intensely, he blushed. Liam walked closer to Zayn and trapped him against the railing by putting his hands on the railing on either side of Zayn’s body. Zayn’s hair was fluttering in the wind and he reached up to push a strand out of his eyes. In that moment he looked like some sort of painting made specifically to shatter people with its magnificence. Liam felt so overwhelmed and couldn’t help his instincts. He leaned forward unconsciously to kiss Zayn and right before his lips touched Zayn he noticed Zayn freeze slightly. Liam realized his error and turned his head at the last second and pressed his lips to Zayn’s soft cheek. His scent was subtle and sweet like jasmine and Liam felt arousal hit his groin so strongly. He sighed against Zayn’s cheek and kissed it again.

 

“Thank you for everything,” Zayn whispered.

 

“Anything for you baby boy. Anything.” Liam murmured rubbing his thumb across Zayn’s sharp cheekbone.

 

Zayn looked at Liam for a few seconds then moved forward hesitantly, and wrapping his arms around Liam’s neck, he hugged him. Liam was surprised for a few seconds because Zayn was always so shy and never made the first move. But Liam smiled and tightening his arms around Zayn’s narrow waist, he embraced the boy back tightly. Zayn had his face buried in Liam’s shoulder as he hugged him. Liam buried his face into Zayn’s hair and held him as physically close as possible. Zayn moved back an inch, then leaning onto his toes he pressed a quick kiss to Liam’s cheek. When he moved back he was blushing madly and his eyelashes fluttered wildly as he looked up at Liam. 

 

“I’m still not sure why you do so much for me. I guess that’s just my nature. But thank you so much Liam. I might have never seen all of this if it weren’t for you. How can I ever repay you?” Zayn said softly.

 

“You don’t have to repay me for anything baby.” Liam said in a serious tone as he cradled Zayn’s face in his hand. “But are you ready to carry on and go to the next place?” Liam asked.

 

Zayn smiled and nodded. Liam grinned back at him and took Zayn’s hand into his own. He had a whole day planned to show Zayn around the best places in Paris. But his mind was thinking about the last stop he had planned and wanted to take Zayn there right away. He knew the boy would love it and he wanted more than anything to see the smile on Zayn’s face.

 

“It’s so windy and grey today.” Zayn commented as they stood waiting for the elevators.

 

“It’s going to rain I heard. I’m sorry that today could possibly be ruined by the rainy weather. I really can’t stand the rain.” Liam said while wrapping an arm around Zayn’s waist and pulling him close to his side.

 

“I love rain though. My mom always says rain is a blessing from God and we shouldn’t be negative about it. I believe that too. Without rain, there would be no life or beauty on this planet. The plants wouldn’t survive and neither would the animals. And we wouldn’t either. Rain is life. Kind of literally in a way.” Zayn mused while looking out towards the sky.

 

Liam looked at the boy in wonder. He was truly something else.

 

“You have such a pure and good heart Zayn. Everything you say or do makes me speechless, something I don’t experience very often. Never let anyone take that away from you.” Liam ran his hand down Zayn’s side and squeezed it gently as Zayn smiled and looked away quickly, his cheeks rosy. Liam wanted to carve a space in his heart and pull the boy in and never let him go. He was too pure and gentle for this fucked up world.

 

**

 

 

“It was so beautiful. I can’t believe I got to see the Mona Lisa painting in real life. This feels surreal.” Zayn was gushing with excitement as they sat in the back of a car pulling away from The Louvre.

 

Liam was leaning back against his seat watching Zayn’s excitement with a fond grin. It was somewhere in the evening now and the setting sun was casting the most beautiful and soft glow against Zayn’s face. Throughout the day they had visited the Palace of Versailles, the Notre Dame Cathedral and a few other monumental places. Then after having lunch at Liam’s favourite café they had gone to The Louvre where Zayn had almost passed out with excitement. They ended up spending the most time there since it was Zayn’s first time, and Liam took him around the museum showing him the most iconic pieces of art. Zayn’s pure enthusiasm and looks of wonder made Liam feel so overwhelmed he could barely keep his hands off the boy. Holding his hand and pressing kisses to his face at every given moment. Zayn would blush every time and Liam would grin loving how he could pull such reactions out of the boy. Now they were back in the car and were headed to the final spot. The one Liam had been waiting for all day.

 

“Where are we going now?” Zayn asked looking out of the window.

 

“It’s our last stop while here in Paris. And it’s a surprise.” Liam grinned at Zayn who pouted looking a little frustrated.

 

The driver asked Liam where they were supposed to be going in French and Liam replied in French too.

 

“You’re like… you can do all this stuff and you speak French too?” Zayn asked a little bit of wonderment in his voice. “I want to learn it one day. That would be brilliant.”

 

“You can speak Urdu and I think that is brilliant as well. But if you wanted to learn French, I can teach you.” Liam wrapped an arm around Zayn’s waist and pulled him over the seat closer to himself.

 

“Ok. Can you say a sentence like… um… thank you for everything?” Zayn tilted his head to look up at Liam.

 

Liam gave Zayn a small smirk and ran his finger down his nose.

 

“Tu es beau, mon amour.”  Liam murmured while running the back of his hand down Zayn’s face.

 

“I don’t know French very well but I think that was something different.” Zayn said turning his gaze down.

 

“Mhm. It was.” Liam smiled at Zayn’s shyness.

 

He kept Zayn close to his side with an arm around his waist for the remainder of the car ride. Zayn seemed slightly hesitant at first but then he seemed to relax in Liam’s arms and rested his head back against his shoulder.

 

**

 

With his vision obscured Zayn could feel his other senses start to heighten. A few drops of rain could be felt on his face. Liam’s hand on his lower back and elbow had a burning presence on his body. And Liam’s cologne was invading his senses and making his brain feel fried as usual. As a result, he was feeling very on edge. Liam had tied a blindfold over Zayn’s eyes when they were about ten minutes away from their destination. He had insisted because he said he wanted to surprise Zayn properly. Zayn had felt nervous but he realized he was so eager to see what Liam’s surprise was he didn’t mind being blindfolded.

 

“Almost there baby.” Liam reassured him as Zayn heard a door being opened and suddenly he couldn’t feel raindrops any more.

 

After walking a little bit more Zayn felt Liam pull to a stop. He felt Liam’s hands move slowly and tenderly across his waist and up his back as Liam moved behind him. Zayn’s breathing quickened as he felt Liam’s fingers at the back of his head where the knot of the blindfold was.

 

“You can open your eyes baby.” Liam said as he slipped off the blindfold and pressed a kiss to the nape of Zayn’s neck.

 

Zayn blinked his eyes open slowly and felt the remaining two breaths his body had granted him also got knocked out. This was- holy shit. Zayn had no other reaction because his mind was blank. They were stood in a large open room only lit up in candles. There was a table in the middle of the room covered in candles, rosepetals and some plates and glasses. There was a chair on each side. The opposite side of the room near the table was a wall made completely of glass. It had two open doors leading onto a massive verandah. From here Zayn could see the verandah was enormous and had a walkway leading outwards. It was too dark outside to see what was further than that but he could see trees rustling in the wind. The soft pattering of the rain could be heard and the open doors were blowing in gentle breezes of cool wind. Zayn looked around the room and realized it was some kind of a large living room with everything pushed away to clear the floor for the table and the candles and rose petals covering the floor. Zayn slowly turned back to Liam knowing his face was covered in complete shock. Liam was smiling back at him and he took Zayn’s hand to pull him forward.

 

“This whole day has basically been our date but I wanted to give you the traditional candle-lit dinner so I brought you here. This is a private villa I have out here on the outskirts of the city. When I want to have a peaceful vacation and don’t want to be in the hotel I come out here. It’s really secluded and beautiful out here.” Liam told him.

 

“Liam…” Zayn felt speechless.

 

“Remember baby, don’t think too much. You’re special to me and that’s why I’m doing all of this. I never hold back on dates. Now come on.” He led Zayn over to the table and pulled out his chair for him which Zayn slid into. Liam then went and sat down on his own chair as a woman walked into the room carrying two covered dishes. She placed one in front of both of them and lifted the covers. Then she smiled and walked away.

 

“Amelia is going to be waitressing while we have dinner, then later she’ll be leaving.” Liam informed him.

 

“Later?” Zayn asked shakily.

 

“You have to relax bambi eyes. Do you not trust me?” Liam laughed a little.

 

“I do.” Zayn answered not wanting Liam to think he was doubting him.

 

“Good. Do you drink?” Liam picked up a bottle of wine that had been set on the table.

 

“Not really. I mean I’m just 18 I know most people don’t care but I- and like my parents don’t drink so I never really do. I’ve tried it but I don’t really do it often it makes me feel nervous and-“ Zayn was rambling on and Liam quickly grabbed his hand to stop him.

 

“Zayn it’s ok. You don’t have to explain yourself.” Liam stroked Zayn’s knuckles with his hand and grabbed a bottle of sparkling water from another ice bucket. He poured some for Zayn and himself.

 

“Thank you.” Zayn sighed feeling his uneasiness seep away.

 

Zayn noticed Liam had picked up his fork and knife and cut into his food so Zayn did the same. He observed that it was just chicken and vegetables and he smiled noting that Liam must have gone with something simple, knowing that Zayn was wary of complicated dishes.

 

“We’re on a date in a totally different continent and I feel like I still don’t know much about you Zayn. So tell me everything about yourself.” Liam drew his attention back with those words and a hand covering Zayn’s on the table.

 

Zayn took a few moments to drink some of his water. He felt like his life was extremely bland compared to Liam’s own incredible one. What could he tell Liam that wouldn’t seem so ridiculously boring. Zayn could feel his fingers twitch with nervousness and Liam just held his hand tighter and rubbed small circles on the back of it. He gave Zayn an encouraging nod to get him to say something.

 

“Um. I’m the second of four children. I have an older sister Doniya she’s 27 years old and a lawyer. She’s married with two kids. My niece and nephew are just amazing. Then I have two younger sisters, Waliyha who is 15 and Safaa who is 8. My Baba is the most wonderful man I know. He teaches Biology and sometimes Chemistry as well at the local community college. Maa teaches the 2nd grade in my younger sister Safaa’s school. They’re both amazing. I don’t know what I would do without my parents, my whole family actually. I have a lot of relatives here as well. We’re like a proper massive Pakistani family.” Liam gave him a smile and kept his gaze on Zayn waiting for him to continue.

 

“Baba always wanted to be a doctor but his family came here from Pakistan when he was in his late teens. And he spent so much time working to support his family. Then he married Maa and had Doniya Baji that his dream got left behind somewhere. He finished college and got a teaching degree and he teaches Biology now and he loves it more than anything. But I know he’s super proud of me for getting into Pre-Med on a scholarship and hopefully going to Med-School after that.” Zayn took a deep breath and noticed Liam wasn’t even eating he was just watching Zayn talk intently.

 

“Did I say something?” Zayn asked nervously.

 

“No baby. I just really like hearing you talk. Go on,” Liam kissed his hand and motioned for Zayn to continue.

 

“Umm… well Harry is my best friend you know him. I don’t really have other friends. We’re both going to be sharing a dorm room in NYU in September and I’m excited. Although a little scared as well because I’ve never lived away from home, but it will be  more easier to live right on campus. It will save me an hour subway ride every day to and from class.” Zayn said

 

“I lived on campus when I went to NYU as well. Well a frat house actually.” Liam grinned at Zayn.

 

“You were a frat boy?” Zayn scrunched his nose up looking at Liam.

 

Liam chuckled. “Yeah I was. It was fun though. Met some of the best guys there who are still some of my closest friends. My best friend Niall who went to high school with me was also in the same frat house. We had some wild times. Still do.” Liam shook his head smiling.

 

“What’s your family like?” Zayn asked.

 

“Pretty great. Have two older sisters. Nicola is the eldest she and her husband run a publishing company together. They have the sweetest little girl, my niece Lily. Then my sister Ruth who is a script writer. She works for a couple television shows right now. They’re both amazing at what they do and didn’t have any interest in PAYNE CORPORATIONS so they actually gave away their shares to me when dad retired. They said I was the more sharper business man,” Liam chuckled and Zayn smiled at him.

 

“Dad did business his whole life and after retiring he now spends most of his days golfing or sailing. Mom is a novelist you’ve probably heard of her, Karen Payne. And occasionally she teaches a creative writing class at Columbia. Her dad was British and her mom was French. That's how I know how to speak French by the way. They came here when my mom was a teenager and she met dad in college. Anyways, after dad retired they moved permanently to their Hamptons house to be away from the city.” Liam said.

 

“I get that. I like quiet places too.” Zayn said and Liam gave him a soft smile.

 

“Your family sounds amazing. You’re all these pictures of success.” Zayn said to Liam.

 

“Workaholics all of us more like it,” Liam laughed.

 

“So if you don’t mind me asking. Were you breaking any hearts with those beautiful eyes of yours in school?” Liam grinned at him.

 

Zayn felt his body freeze. Now that was a complicated question. How could he admit to Liam he was a bit of a loser who had never been with anyone before? That this was literally his first date ever? That before this his heart had only been foolish enough to be attracted to someone once who had turned out to be a terrible person?

 

“Zayn?” Liam asked.

 

“Um… well. No not really. This sounds so pathetic,” Zayn started training his eyes down.

 

“Zayn. Nothing you can say or do is pathetic. I would never think that.” Liam reassured him gently.

 

“I’ve never had a relationship. Through the first two years of school people assumed I was straight and girls used to ask me out sometimes but I just turned them down. Harry was out at that time and he gave no fucks about anyone. I always admired him. People would tease him and even say we were dating but we didn’t care. One day this guy was being a jerk to Harry so I got a little upset and kind of came out in a mini-rant while defending Harry.” Zayn laughed a little remembering everyone’s faces when that had happened.

 

“After that no one cared anymore. It was old news and everyone moved on. We went to school with a lot of good people so everyone was really kind and supportive. I didn’t care to date anyone because I was working hard to get a scholarship and just the idea of putting myself out there used to give me anxiety. Harry was out and about dating people and having fun being young, while I was usually just holed up in the library. But um… in junior year there was this basketball player, Drew. He came across me while I was studying under the big tree behind our school one day. I guess he was flirting with me but I didn’t really notice those things or care so I didn’t think much of it. Then he started showing up there more and more. He would even find me in the library if I hid out there. At some point I realized he was in to me or flirting or whatever it was. I was beginning to develop a small crush on him too. He was being all sweet and charming,” Zayn paused to take a deep breath and realized Liam had pulled his chair closer and was holding Zayn’s hand.

 

“Then one day he invited me to a party at his house. Harry insisted we should go because it was the biggest party of the year right before junior prom. I didn’t want to go, my gut instinct was telling me something would go wrong. But we went anyway. When I got there Drew immediately found me and invited me to his bedroom,” Zayn paused and he noticed Liam’s jaw clench but he stayed silent.

 

“He was drunk I could smell it on him. He was acting so slobbery and just weird. Nothing like that charm he showed in school. When we got to his room he kept trying to touch me and stuff and I started to have an anxiety attack and wanted to leave. But he cornered me and tried to kiss me. I don’t know how I found some strength, maybe he was just too drunk, but I shoved him away before anything happened and ran out of there. It was so awful.” Zayn took a shaky breath and reached his glass of water to take a sip.

 

“If I could find out where that bastard lived he wouldn’t have any legs to play basketball with,” Liam muttered. Zayn looked at him surprised then let out a sigh.

 

“After that he was such a jerk to me at school for a few weeks. He even made an Islamophobic comment once but Harry punched him and gave him a black eye. Drew got suspended because a lot of students backed up Harry because they heard what Drew said. Harry got detention but to this day he says it was worth it.” Zayn smiled remembering Harry’s triumphant grin after Drew had gotten suspended and left school holding his face like the pathetic human he was.

 

“Bastard probably deserved more. I wouldn’t have let him off so easy.” Liam said as he stroked his fingers on the side of Zayn’s face.

 

“It’s okay. I mean a few guys from the basketball team even came up to me to see if I was okay. Apparently Drew is a bit of a douche and only pretends to be all sweet to get people in bed. Thank God that didn’t happen. Senior year was pretty mellow after that. I just spent my time studying and working hard. So yeah, I’ve never had a relationship or sex… or even a kiss.” Zayn finished off and looked up to see Liam watching him intensely.

 

“Baby I don’t know why so many people you have come across have been such jackasses. You deserve only kindness and love and the best of things. You are so fucking special. And it doesn’t matter if you haven’t done any of those things yet it just means you’re waiting for the right person and that’s perfectly fine.” Liam murmured and kissed along the side of Zayn’s face.

 

Zayn closed his eyes and felt his heart burst.

 

“You’re so wonderful Liam. I don’t deserve you.” Zayn whispered.

 

Liam looked at Zayn silently then shook his head and took both of Zayn’s hands.

 

“You Zayn Malik, deserve this world and so much more. Anytime I hear you doubting yourself it makes me so upset. You don’t see how fucking wonderful you are. Anybody who could call you there’s would be the luckiest man in this world. You only deserve the best baby.” Liam said, and taking Zayn’s face in his hands he placed a kiss on his forehead.

 

“Liam I-“ Zayn started but the waitress walked back in carrying their dessert. She set down two plates of chocolate cake then cleared away the rest of their dinner plates.

 

“Anything else Mr. Payne?” she asked.

 

“No Amelia you’re good to leave now.” Liam said without taking his eyes off Zayn’s face or moving back.

 

Amelia nodded and said goodnight then walked away.

 

“A slut for all things chocolatey right baby?” Liam grinned at Zayn and pulled one of the plates with the chocolate cake on it forward.

 

Zayn smiled back at Liam and took the fork Liam offered him.

 

“Yes. My parents like to say my body is internally composed of just sugar and mostly all chocolate.” Zayn giggled and saw Liam’s smile grow bigger.

 

“How are you this cute?” Liam asked with a smile, shaking his head.

 

“I- I don’t know. I’m not really. This is just how God made me.” Zayn said shyly.

 

“He did a really fucking good job.” Liam said grinning.

 

Zayn blushed and shoved a bite of chocolate cake into his mouth. It tasted amazing. Trust Liam to play on Zayn’s weak spot for chocolate and sweets. He would kill Zayn at this point. He noticed Liam was watching him with a dark look in his eyes. Zayn was about to ask him what was wrong when Liam brought his hand up and rubbed his thumb across Zayn’s lips. Zayn sat there frozen as Liam drew back his thumb covered in icing from Zayn’s lips. He kept eye contact with Zayn as he brought his thumb to his mouth and licked off the icing. Zayn let out a shaky breath and realized all the blood in his body was rushing south. His skin was heating up like a fire had been lit underneath it. He watched silently, with desire coursing through his veins, as Liam reached towards the cake and swirled his finger in the icing. He brought his hand up to Zayn’s mouth and raised an eyebrow. Zayn realized what Liam wanted him to do and he felt his heart surge. Electricity sparked every nerve in his body as he brought his mouth forward and wrapped his lips hesitantly around Liam’s finger. He licked the icing slowly and saw a look of unadulterated hunger pass through Liam’s eyes as he watched Zayn’s lips.

 

“Fucking hell baby boy. What else can those lips do?” Liam murmured with a dazed look on his face.

 

Zayn blushed madly and moved back biting his lip. He licked his lips to get the remaining icing off them. He knew Liam was watching him intently and it was making Zayn nervous. Despite knowing what his heart wanted, which was his severe need for Liam, he felt a little panicked not knowing how to proceed once again. His mind was in mayhem again as Liam leaned closer to him. Zayn felt some strange urge rise up inside him, and sweeping his finger through the icing, he smeared it on Liam’s cheek. Liam paused completely shocked and just stared at Zayn. At first Zayn couldn’t believe he had just done that but seeing Liam’s stunned face with chocolate icing on it, Zayn let out a giggle. He jumped out of his seat and covered his mouth as a laugh broke through. Liam broke out of his shock and slowly stood up. Zayn stopped laughing realizing Liam was about to make his way over to him. Zayn darted around the table towards the verandah doors.

 

“You think you’ll be safe out there?” Liam asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Yes. You said you can’t stand the rain.” Zayn grinned at him.

 

“Really?” Liam asked. Then he calmly picked up a napkin and wiped the chocolate icing off his face. Once he was done he set down the napkin and slowly moved around the table towards Zayn.

 

Zayn’s eyes widened and he slowly started backing out the doors onto the verandah, directly into the rain.

 

“Is it worth getting wet for Zayn?” Liam asked.

 

“Yeah. You won’t come out here.” Zayn giggled.

 

Liam nodded slowly then in the blink of an eye he ran towards the door. Zayn screamed and turned around running in the opposite direction down the walkway of the verandah. He realized it was a massive terrace up on a hillside. And there was a dead end up front where there was a stone railing with massive pillars on both sides. Zayn knew Liam had run out behind him and he laughed and tried to get away as far as possible. He was getting completely soaked in the rain but he had no care in the world right now. Before he could get too far he felt two strong arms wrap around his waist and yank him off his feet. Zayn squealed out a laugh as Liam spun him around.

 

“You think you’re smart?” Liam smirked at him.

 

Zayn’s heart was thudding in his chest as he looked up at Liam. Soaked thoroughly in the rain, Liam looked incredible. The shirt stuck to his body highlighting all his muscles and Zayn felt his breathing get heavy. He glanced at Liam’s wet body then slowly looked up. The rain was making his own eyelashes clump together and he blinked them a couple of times to look at Liam more clearly. Liam’s own face was serious as he gazed at Zayn with pure need written all over his face. Within a few seconds the mood had gotten as heavy as the rainfall itself was. All of this ran, and the fire burning over Zayn’s skin couldn’t cool down. This is what it felt like when people said they felt so much need for another person that they felt like they would die. Liam’s arms tightened around Zayn’s waist and he brought up his hand to run through Zayn’s soaking wet hair.

 

“Never in my life have I met anyone else who drives me this insane baby. Never in my life have I wanted to have someone in my arms so badly. _Never_ in my life have I wanted to kiss anyone’s lips this badly.” Liam said his voice thick with lust as he ran his thumb across Zayn’s lips and pressed down on the bottom one.

 

Over the course of the time they had spent together, every time they got this close, Zayn had either frozen up or backed away. His anxiety had taken control over his mind completely and prevented him from doing all the things he wanted to do with Liam. But right now, in the most insane sort of situation, none of those things were happening. Nothing was causing him to panic or want to step away. No self doubt could pry him away from Liam’s arms right now. Life had finally brought him here and nothing could make him step back. His heart and mind were finally on the same page and he felt so sure of his need for this man. Standing in the pouring rain, in Liam’s arms, Zayn shakily looked into Liam’s eyes and said the words he had been wanting to for oh so long.

 

“Kiss me,” Zayn said.

 

“Baby,” Liam murmured in a husky voice.

 

“Please kiss me. Or I might die. I might actually die if you don’t-“ Zayn didn’t get to finish his sentence because it happened. It finally fucking happened.

 

Monumental moments are counted as the one’s where something of complete and utter significance happens. Some people say it has be a moment you never forget for the rest of your life. Some people say it’s a moment that changes your life. That it takes your life, gives it a couple twists like a Rubik’s Cube and tosses it back at you. This was all of that and so much more.

 

When Liam’s lips crashed down onto his, Zayn let out a shocked gasp. The rain had made Liam’s lips wet but they were so warm and so soft. Yet the way they pressed against Zayn’s lips said only one thing; pure hunger. Liam had pulled Zayn so tightly up against his body, and Zayn had wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck. Zayn felt like there were fireworks exploding in every part of his body and that there was no confusion or panic. The moment Liam’s lips had touched his, it had all washed away. Liam pulled back a little back and Zayn let out a whimper.

 

“Fucking hell baby,” Liam growled and pushed Zayn back suddenly.

 

Zayn felt his body hit the pillar that had been behind him, and Liam quickly placed his hand behind Zayn’s head before it hit back to make sure it didn’t get hurt. Zayn let out a gasp but it was swallowed up by Liam’s lips again. Zayn moaned softly and wrapped his arms tightly around Liam, desperately trying to be even more closer. There was no space between their bodies but Zayn glued himself to Liam’s front as much as possible. Liam was licking along Zayn’s bottom lip and slightly nipping at it to get entrance. Zayn’s mouth opened on another gasp and Liam licked his way in. The friction their tongues created by rubbing against each other, caused a fire Zayn felt all the way down to his toes. Liam was running his tongue along every crevice of Zayn’s mouth and reducing him to a puddle. Zayn whimpered softly again and Liam let out a groan. His hands ran down Zayn’s soaked body and to the back of his legs. He grabbed the backs of Zayn’s thighs and hoisted him up easily. Zayn wrapped his legs around Liam’s waist and moaned into Liam’s mouth at the friction this new angle created between their heated bodies.

 

“Zayn,” Liam murmured between the endless kisses he pressed to Zayn’s slick mouth.

 

“Fuck baby boy you taste better than I could have imagined. Your lips aren’t something I can ever forget now that I’ve had a taste. You are fucking amazing.” Liam said and kissed him again hard.

 

“Liam,” Zayn sighed and tiled his head back against the pillar.

 

Liam took advantage of the opportunity and started kissing down Zayn’s throat. He reached the hollow of his throat and nipped there slightly. Zayn gasped and Liam pressed a kiss then gently sucked on the skin. Zayn tightened his legs around Liam’s waist and moaned. He could feel his cock start to get aroused and he panted breathlessly as Liam kept kissing all the sensitive spots on his neck. Liam brought his face back up and looked at him. Zayn’s heart was pounding, his skin was hot, but he hadn’t felt this much ecstasy ever in his life. He blinked at Liam trying to get the rain out of his eyes. Liam pressed his thumb against Zayn’s wet and red lips. He leaned forward and kissed Zayn gently on his swollen lips. In comparison to the rough and needy kiss from before, he pressed his lips to Zayn’s in a soft kiss now. His hand trailed down to rest over Zayn’s chest where his heart was beating madly out of control.

 

“Liam,” Zayn whimpered out again.

 

“I’ve got you baby.” Liam whispered and kissed Zayn again in a tantalizingly slow manner. He was licking against Zayn’s lips, then his tongue so slowly and passionately. He then sucked on Zayn’s tongue and Zayn felt his eyes roll to the back of his head. He couldn’t remember his name or where he was. All he felt was Liam. All around him, surrounding him, blanketing him. Liam. Zayn started trembling in Liam’s arms due to all the emotions colliding in his body. He felt overwhelmed in such a wonderful way that he couldn’t even remember that they were still stood in the pouring rain.

 

“Baby you’re shivering.” Liam drew back and rubbed Zayn’s arms.

 

“I- It’s fine.” Zayn choked out.

 

“No it’s not. Let’s get you inside.” Liam said and gently lowered Zayn to the ground. Zayn nodded his head realizing just how much his body was physically shaking. Liam gave him a soft smile and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips again then took Zayn’s hand and led him back into the house.

 

**

 

Liam led a soaking wet and shivering Zayn into the master bedroom of the villa. He went over to the closet and pulled out a couple of towels. When he turned around he saw Zayn was standing in the centre of the room shivering half to death as a puddle of water collected by his feet. His clothes were soaked and the red shirt looked even darker now that it was wet. The way it clung to his body made Liam’s cock stir in his pants. Zayn’s quiff had fallen and his wet hair lay across his forehead, the strands falling into his eyes. The way Zayn looked at that moment made a pang of arousal hit his gut but also something warm lurch through his heart. Liam walked over to Zayn and wrapped a large towel around Zayn’s body from behind. Zayn sank back against Liam, shivering still, and Liam wrapped his arms tightly around Zayn’s body over the towel. Liam started kissing along Zayn’s neck and the boy sighed. Liam turned Zayn around who slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Liam with pure need clouding his beautiful hazel eyes. Liam lowered his head to Zayn’s level and caught his lips in another searing kiss. Zayn whimpered and his hands clutched the front of Liam’s soaked dress shirt. Liam ran his hands down Zayn’s arms and slid his hands under Zayn’s shirt. When Liam’s hand touched the bare skin of Zayn’s back the boy shivered so severely Liam could feel goosebumps erupt on his skin. Liam pressed a few quick kisses to Zayn’s lips then moved back.

 

“I have some extra clothes you can change into. You’ll catch a cold otherwise.” Liam said softly while leaving a trail of kisses from Zayn’s temple to his jawline.

 

“Okay.” Zayn said sounding dazed.

 

Liam smiled at Zayn’s foggy state and gently turned the boy towards the wardrobe. Liam pulled a few items out then placed them into Zayn’s arms.

 

“Go on baby.” Liam pointed towards the bathroom. Zayn walked into the bathroom in a hazy state and shut the door.

 

Liam smiled shaking his head and pulled out clothes to change into himself. When he was done he walked over to the doors leading out onto the verandah from the bedroom. The rain had stopped and Liam walked straight outside. He sat down on one of the chairs outside and pulled a cigarette from the pack he had brought with him. Liam was feeling so many things right now. For a few weeks all he could think about was kissing Zayn and wanting to know how his lips felt. Now that he knew, he wanted so much more. He _needed_ so much more from the boy. Liam wanted more than anything to peel off Zayn’s clothes, lay him out on the bed and ravish his body with kisses like he had his mouth. But Zayn wasn’t ready for things to move so fast. Liam needed to slow down his raging desire and put a hold on these wild thoughts. He heard some noise and looked up to see Zayn had stumbled over the shoes Liam had left beside the bed.

 

“Fuck me,” Zayn mumbled.

 

“An enticing offer baby.” Liam smirked at Zayn who walked onto the verandah wearing Liam’s baggy sweats and t-shirt. They looked positively huge on him and Liam smiled. Zayn smiled shyly at Liam’s remark and walked over to him. Liam extended a hand to Zayn who took it and climbed onto Liam’s lap facing him.

 

“Hello,” Liam grinned at Zayn and blew his smoke away from Zayn’s face.

 

“Hi,” Zayn smiled and whispered back.

 

“Do you feel better now?” Liam asked rubbing his hand over Zayn’s leg.

 

Zayn nodded and glanced at the cigarette in Liam’s hand.

 

“Those aren’t good for you.” Zayn said.

 

“You’re no good for me baby,” Liam cupped Zayn’s face. “You’ll be my death.”

 

Liam stubbed out his cigarette then ran his hand along the side of Zayn’s face.

 

“Ever since I saw you that first time, then that second time, then hearing you sing that song. All these moments have been fucking me up since then. You’ve been undoing me with your voice, your eyes, your gentle nature. Everything.” Liam said. He ran his hand into the thick of Zayn’s hair and brought his face down to kiss his lips gently.

 

“You still remember the song?” Zayn asked softly against Liam’s lips.

 

“I will never forget it. More like never forget you singing it. Your voice is so beautiful.” Liam murmured and pulled Zayn’s slim body closer to his own.

 

“Sing it again for me. Please?” Liam said gently while stroking a tender hand through Zayn’s hair.

 

“Liam…” Zayn said hesitantly then seeing the determination in Liam’s eyes he bit his lip and nodded.

 

 _“…chand bhi waheen hai…waheen hai sitaare…tere baad pheeke pheeke lagte hain saare…aaja leke tu savere kar ja door yeh andhere…teri doori tadpaave soneya…”_ Zayn’s voice was shaking but it was still so beautiful nonetheless. His eyes were trained downwards and his eyelashes were fluttering against his cheekbones.

 

“Keep going,” Liam murmured and sat up straighter wrapping his arms around Zayn’s waist. He started leaving hot kisses along Zayn’s neck who wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and took a shaky breath.

 

 _“tere bin… naahi laage jiya… tere bin… ab to aaja piya…”_ Zayn gasped as Liam bit the side of his neck gently.

 

 _“t-tere bin… naahi laage jiya…”_ Zayn trailed off and buried his face into Liam’s chest.

 

Liam smiled down at Zayn who had hid his face in Liam’s chest. Liam slowly drew Zayn back and pressed a kiss to his forehead and his cheeks.

 

“Fucking beautiful.” Liam sighed.

 

Zayn’s face broke out into a wide smile. His nose and eyes scrunched up and he grinned at Liam with his cheeks tinted pink. Liam felt his heart stop for a second then he leaned forward and kissed Zayn’s nose. He stood up picking Zayn up with him. Zayn yelped then quickly wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck to stabilize himself.

 

 _“tere bin naahi laage jiya…”_ Zayn sang softly and stroked his fingers through Liam’s beard gently, as Liam walked them into the room.

 

Liam grinned and laid Zayn down on the bed then leaned above him.

 

“We do have to get going now. The jet will be at the airport soon.” Liam said and traced his finger over Zayn’s cheeks and his soft lips.

 

“Okay. I... I don’t really want to leave though.” Zayn murmured.

 

“I don’t either baby. I would keep you here forever if I could. Never let you go anywhere. Do all kinds of things to you.” Liam gave Zayn a devilish grin and nipped at his bottom lip. Zayn blushed madly and closed his eyes.

 

“Ya Allah yeh admi pagal hai.” Zayn mumbled to himself in Urdu.

 

Liam moved his head back and stared down at Zayn.

 

“Did you just call me crazy?” Liam smiled at Zayn with a raised eyebrow.

 

“H-how did you know?” Zayn squeaked out.

 

“Do you forget bambi eyes?” Liam said and squeezed Zayn’s hips.

 

“Ameera?” Zayn asked and Liam nodded.

 

“She called me ‘pagal’ many times and eventually I found out.” Liam smiled.

 

Then he ducked down and captured Zayn’s lips in a burning kiss.

 

Liam pressed his body down against Zayn’s but didn’t drop all weight onto the slighter boy so as not to crush him. Zayn was letting out soft whimpers into the kiss again. Feeling heat course through his body, Liam grasped the boy’s delicate wrists and pinned them beside his head. Zayn gasped into Liam’s mouth and his body rutted up in what Liam figured was a reflexive motion from being turned on by the manhandling.

 

“Do you like that?” Liam whispered into Zayn’s ear who just shuddered in response.

 

“The things I want to do to you baby boy… you have no idea.” Liam groaned and pressed kisses across Zayn’s face.

 

“L-Like what?” Zayn asked.

 

“Like a lot. Things that your innocent mind won’t be able to handle.” Liam said and nipped at Zayn’s ear lobe.

 

“Now if we want to make it home on time we have to go. As much as I hate too.” Liam sighed and sat up pulling Zayn up with him.

 

“Ok.” Zayn said and straightened out his rumpled clothes.

 

“Our things are being brought straight to the airport so don’t worry.” Liam said and stood up. He took both of Zayn’s hands and pulled him up as well.

 

“Ok.” Zayn said and smiled at Liam.

 

“Ok.” Liam repeated teasing Zayn.

 

“Stop.” Zayn said smiling.

 

“Stop.” Liam said smirking at Zayn.

 

“Liaamm.” Zayn groaned and thumped his chest lightly.

 

“Is that how you would moan my name in bed?” Liam joked but he saw Zayn turn red.

 

“No.” Zayn said and started walking out of the room.

 

“No?” Liam asked and caught Zayn around his waist.

 

“Not even if I did this?” Liam surprised Zayn by kissing him hungrily.

 

Zayn clutched Liam’s arms weakly and sank into the kiss. When Liam drew back too quickly, Zayn followed his lips blindly. Zayn looked up at him confused, then seeing Liam’s grin he pulled back.

 

“You’re mean.” Zayn pouted and Liam couldn’t help but laugh at his ridiculously adorable face. He then scooped Zayn up and carried him towards the front door while pressing little kisses to his face.

 

Outside a car was already waiting for them to take them to the airport where their date would officially come to an end. The drive to the airport was long and Zayn fell asleep curled up against Liam, with Liam’s arm protectively wrapped around him. Liam draped his hoodie over Zayn’s body to keep him from getting cold. When they got to the jet Liam had to carry the still sleeping Zayn onto it. He settled him into the bed in the back of the jet and covered his body in a blanket. Then he went outside to the seating area himself and settled into one of the seats to sleep for the rest of the journey back.

 

**

 

When they got back to New York it was around midnight on Wednesday. Liam had dropped Zayn off at Harry’s house, because he had told his parents he’d be there two nights in a row and would come back on Thursday. Being back in New York brought back all the guilt of lying to his parents. But when Liam pulled Zayn into his lap in the back of the car, and kissed him deeply before letting him go, a lot of the guilt was subdued for a bit. He’d never felt such happiness in his life and his heart was soaring. He let himself into the Styles house with his extra key. Him and Harry both had keys to each other’s houses considering they were like adopted members of each other’s families. Zayn then quietly crept up the stairs knowing they would all be asleep and he let himself into Harry’s room. It was pitch black in there and he could see a lump on the bed which meant Harry was dead asleep. Zayn dropped his bag on the ground and slid under the covers and cuddled up to Harry.

 

“What? Who-“ Harry jumped back sleepily.

 

“Shh! Haz you big idiot it’s me!” Zayn whispered.

 

“ZayZay? You’re back?” Harry asked sleepily.

 

“Yeah Haz.” Zayn said and patted Harry’s arm to get him back to sleep.

 

“Babe.” Harry mumbled and pulled Zayn into a hug.

 

“How was the trip? Did Liam’s dick live up to all the hype?” Harry asked cuddling up to Zayn.

 

“Shut up. Even half asleep you’re ridiculous. There were no dicks involved. Although it was amazing and I will tell you about everything in the morning. It’s like 1 a.m. and we do have work tomorrow. I can’t skip again.” Zayn whispered.

 

“Always the trooper Zaynie. You should take advantage of Liam’s obsession with you and call in sick whenever you like.” Harry yawned and Zayn smacked him lightly.

 

“Not like that Haz. Now shush. I’m exhausted.” Zayn grumbled and pulled the covers off Harry onto himself.

 

“Shushing,” Harry mumbled drifting off again. “I missed you Zay.”

 

“Missed you too Haz.” Zayn whispered back as Harry started snoring.

 

Zayn closed his eyes and was out like a light himself within a few moments. The exhaustion and jet lag from the pasts few days all caught up to him and he fell into a deep sleep. Most of it was also over run with dreams of being back in Paris and doing more than just kissing Liam in the villa. Liam’s eyes, his lips, his voice and his touch took over Zayn’s dreams and had him smiling throughout his sleep

 

**

 

“So you finally had your first kiss and your first date. I thought this day would never come. I’m so proud of you my son.” Harry dramatically put a hand over his heart and rubbed away fake tears.

 

Zayn smiled and shook his head at Harry as they walked into the lobby of their office building.

 

“Now when will your first dicking down be?” Harry grinned at Zayn as they tapped their access cards to be let through.

 

“Dicking down? That does not sound attractive or fun at all.” Zayn scrunched his nose.

 

“You’ll see babe. You’ll see soon enough.” Harry smirked as they got into the elevators.

 

Zayn just rolled his eyes although a slight blush was painting his features. He hadn’t stopped smiling all day especially after he woke up to a text from Liam that had said,

 

From Liam: Morning bambi eyes. It’s only been a few hours and I’m already missing the taste of your sweet lips. Get to me fast baby or I’ll coming looking for you.

 

Harry had read the text over Zayn’s shoulder and hadn’t stopped teasing him about it all morning. Zayn didn’t even care. He was just feeling blissful. Liam had completely ruined him and he knew he wouldn’t be the same anymore. He was feeling things way more than just a simple crush. These feelings made him physically ache for Liam in his absence. And crave to be in his arms all day. These intense emotions could be dangerous but Zayn had never felt like this before and he couldn’t bring his heart down from where it was flying so high.

 

“You know what you should do?” Harry nudged Zayn. “Go up to the 50th floor and surprise him. You have some time, it’s not 9 a.m. yet and he’s probably there already.” Harry smiled at Zayn.

 

“I can’t do that Haz.” Zayn said although his heart fluttered thinking about going to see Liam.

 

“Yes you can. That man adores you. He would be really happy to see you. Trust me.” Harry pressed the button for the 50th floor and grinned at Zayn.

  
“Harry-“ Zayn started.

 

“Nope. Don’t argue with me. Go up there, get a kiss from your man, I know you’re missing him, then come back down. You know you won’t stop feeling restless till you do.” Harry squeezed Zayn’s hand.

 

Zayn sighed. In his heart, he knew he was dying to see Liam. And what harm would it do? There was still 15 minutes to 9 a.m. and he could go and see Liam if he was there. If he wasn’t then he could go again during lunch hour. Hopefully Liam would be happy to see him.

 

“Okay. Fine. I’ll be back in 10 minutes.” Zayn said feeling his heart start to race.

 

Harry got off on the 45th floor and blew Zayn a kiss on his way out the elevator. The doors closed again and started moving up to the 50th floor. Zayn could feel his heart beat quicken in anticipation and his hands started to shake a little. But the nerves were mostly from the excitement to see Liam again. Maybe be kissed again. When the doors opened up on the 50th floor, Zayn walked out hastily feeling his heart thump faster and faster yet. He walked over to the reception area and saw just Rosie sitting there.

 

“Hi,” Zayn said hesitantly.

 

“Hi. Uh… Mr. Malik right?” Rosie smiled at him.

 

“Just Zayn is fine,” Zayn gave her a small smile. “Is um… Mr. Payne in?” Zayn asked timidly.

 

“He is. He got here about 20 minutes ago. Someone is with him in his office though so you might have to wait a few minutes. Do you want to sit down?” She asked gesturing to the sofas.

 

“Oh um. If it’s gonna take too long maybe I should-“ Zayn heard a door open and the sound of laughter filled the room.

 

He turned around and saw Liam walk out of his office. God. He looked so good. Zayn felt a small smile twitch at his lips as he admired Liam who was in an impeccable suit as always and was laughing loudly, his face so bright and wonderful. Then suddenly a woman walked out of his office from behind him. She was tall and tanned with a cascade of silky auburn hair. She had her hand on Liam’s bicep and was rubbing it in an intimate manner as she leaned close to him whispering something Zayn couldn’t hear. Liam was smiling and nodding along. Then she squeezed his arm and said something else which made Liam stop smiling. But Zayn didn’t notice. His heart had stopped beating altogether and his hands were sweating profusely. His blood just wasn’t flowing through his body at all and he felt cold. This was bound to happen. Paris may have meant a lot to Zayn but it clearly wasn’t a big deal to Liam. He had much better options out there than silly little Zayn who had only had his first kiss ever just yesterday. Why would Liam want anything longer than two days with an inexperienced boy? Zayn started walking back slowly knowing Liam hadn’t seen him yet. He wasn’t even watching Liam’s interaction with the woman anymore, he just knew he had to get out of there. How stupid was he to come up here expecting Liam to scoop him up into his arms and continue where they had left off? Zayn stumbled back towards the elevators his eyes brimming with tears. He punched the down button multiple times willing it to arrive faster knowing a panic attack was about to erupt. While cursing the slow elevator he faintly heard voices coming from the lobby area.

 

“... Mr. Malik was just here… left so suddenly...” That was Rosie for sure. Fuck. What was she doing? Zayn smacked the button again.

 

“Zayn was here? Why didn’t you tell me? Where did he go?” Liam sounded concerned and Zayn swore internally.

 

The elevator doors opened up and Zayn quickly bolted inside just as he heard footsteps getting closer to the elevator. Right before the doors slid shut he heard Liam shout his name confused. He didn’t glimpse Liam’s face he only heard his voice. Zayn slid down the elevator into a heap on the floor and dropped his face into his hands.

 

“So stupid. Just so stupid. You’re a fucking idiot.” Zayn cried silently into his hands.

 

He had been so foolish to think this would be his chance at happiness. At something magnificent. An epic romance wasn’t written in his destiny and he should have realized that long ago. He had nothing to offer Liam, or anyone, and he had been so fucking stupid to think it would work. Liam was wrong. He wasn’t special at all.

 

**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Urdu translations:
> 
> \- the song (the same song from chapter 3 it's just some lyrics from near the end)  
> chand bhi waheen hai…waheen hai sitaare…tere baad pheeke pheeke lagte hain saare…aaja leke tu savere kar ja door yeh andhere…teri doori tadpaave soneya...tere bin… naahi laage jiya… tere bin… ab to aaja piya.  
> (the moon is still there, the stars are still there, everything is so dull in comparison to you. please come and bring the morning light with you, take away this darkness. your distance makes me ache. without you my heart/soul is restless, without you, please come back beloved)
> 
> \- Ya Allah yeh admi pagal hai - Oh Allah (god) this man is crazy. 
> 
>  
> 
> French translation (Liam in the car to Zayn):  
> -Tu es beau, mon amour - You are so beautiful sweetheart.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading! God I hope you guys liked it! It happened, Ziam finally kissed and the date happened! Although I ended on a bit of a sad note for Zaynie (*hides* although hint hint you only saw that from Zayn's POV) I hope you liked it! This was one of my fave chapters to write. I also wanted to ask you guys two questions let me know what you feel in the comments or on tumblr:  
> 1\. are you guys okay with lengthy fics or do you get tired quickly and would rather have everything compressed into like 12-15 chapters instead of like maybe 25? like the good first half is happy and relationship/character developing stuff and hinting at some serious stuff that comes later and the serious/angst plot line hits later on (like the midpoint).  
> 2\. about smut. so I've never written smut before and I'm scared I might be bad or awkward at putting it into writing although I do have it all planned in my head... should I just imply it happens when it does or should I give it a shot and let you guys decide if it was all right?
> 
> Thank you I love you all! xx
> 
> (feel free to talk to me on my tumblr or twitter or leave me a comment down below)


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii! I don't want to waste your time with this lol but as always thank you so much for all the support, the lovely messages, comments, kudos, EVERYTHING. I appreciate it all so much you have no fucking idea. I love you all! This chapter took some time because I was really busy this week but it's here. It's my longest chapter yet and I hope you'll all like it. My hands died trying to finish this up for you all today like I had promised. ENJOY :)
> 
> P.S. When I get to the part where I say John Legend's 'Tonight' is playing, I highly recommend you listen to the song as the scene happens to make it feel more 'effective' and you'll enjoy it more.
> 
> P.P.S as always all urdu words will be translated.

 

 

[Photoset/Moodboard for CHFILWY](http://zaynsbambieyes.tumblr.com/post/157429331801)

 

Zayn hurried towards the intern’s room, tears freely streaming down his cheeks. He hastily rubbed at his cheeks and adjusted his glasses then stepped into the room. His heart felt like it was being ripped into a million pieces but he couldn’t let it show on his face. This was all his own fucking fault anyways.

 

“How’d it go?” Harry asked excitedly as Zayn walked into the room. No one else was there yet and Harry was sipping on one of his green tea Frappuccino’s which made Zayn retch every time.

 

Zayn shrugged his shoulders not wanting to get into it with Harry right now. He felt so confused and a little broken and he couldn’t throw that all out on his friend.

 

“Babe?” Harry asked and moved closer to Zayn.

 

“Harry it’s noth-“ Zayn started but he heard someone shout a ‘Good Morning Mr. Payne’ outside and he froze. His body went cold again like it had upstairs. He couldn’t face Liam right now. Why was he even here?

 

“H-Harry if Liam comes in here tell him I’ve gone home! Tell him I felt sick so I left p-please!” Zayn hurried out then darted across the room and locked himself into the tiny coat closet the office had. Harry had shouted after him confused but Zayn had already shut the closet door.

 

The closet was extremely stuffy and Zayn couldn’t breathe. Being on the verge of a panic attack while stuck in a tight, airless, humid closet was not a good idea. He felt so pathetic but he just couldn’t face Liam after what he saw upstairs. He was so confused and hurt and just feeling every bit of self-hate his body could muster. And right now, he didn’t know what to think. He heard footsteps enter the room and he covered his mouth to muffle his heavy breathing.

 

“Hey Harry,” he heard Liam’s voice. His deep, rich, and capable of killing Zayn dead, sexy voice. Zayn felt a pang of sadness hit his body because the last time he’d heard that voice in close proximity was Liam whispering a husky goodbye into his ear at midnight, last night when they had gotten back, pressing kisses to Zayn’s neck and behind his ear.

 

“Hi Liam,” Harry said sounding confused but masking it well.

 

“Where’s Zayn?” Liam asked and Zayn could detect worry in his voice. Why was he worried?

 

“Uh-“ Zayn knew Harry was still thrown off by the situation and didn’t know what to say. “He said he was suddenly feeling really nauseous and so he had to go home.”

 

“Interesting. Because I ran into Duvall outside and he said he just saw Zayn come into the office two minutes before I entered.” Liam said.

 

“Fuck.” Zayn muttered into his hands.

 

“Oh- uh well….” Harry was usually a good liar so his current stammering was a surprise and not helping Zayn’s situation at all.

 

“Where is he Harry. He was just up on my floor and I think he saw something that was literally nothing at all but knowing Zayn he’s probably doing his head in and freaking out. I need to see him.” Liam said sounding stern.

 

Zayn started praying with every bit of his soul that Harry wouldn’t cave. Hiding from Liam was bad enough but being found in the coat closet a few feet away was the most pathetic thing possible.

 

“I’m sorry Liam. I don’t want to lie to you but Zayn is my best friend. I can’t betray his trust and he asked me not to tell you.” Harry said apologetically.

 

Zayn heard Liam sigh and then there was a beat of silence.

 

“Fine. I can respect that. But ask him to either come see me or call me. And please tell him that whatever he’s thinking, is _not_ true. Whatever he saw, he assumed wrong.” Liam said.

 

Zayn didn’t hear Harry reply and a few seconds later footsteps sounded, meaning Liam was walking away from the room. Zayn was so deep in his thoughts he didn’t even realize Harry had opened the closet till he felt a gentle hand wiping along his hairline. He realized he had started sweating in the stuffy little closet.

 

“ZayZay. What happened up there?” Harry asked gently.

 

“I- I can’t Harry. Not right now. I can’t.” Zayn shook his head vigorously and clenched his fists tightly. Harry moved forward and hugged Zayn, rubbing his back in gentle circles.

 

“What are you two doing in the closet?” Serayah walked into the room and gave them a confused smile as she set her handbag and coffee down onto her spot.

 

“Nothing. Just helping Zayn fix his shirt, it was inside out.” Harry said and stood in front of Zayn blocking him from view to give him a few seconds to get himself together.

 

“You too act very shady.” Serayah said and turned away towards her laptop.

 

“I’m okay now Haz.” Zayn whispered and slipped out from the closet.

 

Zayn walked over to his spot and sat down, everything in robotic motions. He wasn’t feeling anything at the moment and he just wanted this day to be over so he could go home and wallow in his misery and confusion. He needed to process all this. What he saw and what Liam said. Nothing was making sense at the moment.

 

“Do you wanna go home babe?” Harry touched Zayn’s arm.

 

“No it’s fine Haz. I missed two days already and I don’t want Duvall on my ass. It’s okay. I- I’ll be fine.” Zayn turned away and turned towards his laptop.

 

His throat felt like a massive rock had shoved it’s way inside and his eyes were itchy with unshed tears but he pushed it back. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket and pulled it out. Liam’s name was written across his screen and Zayn’s heart panged. After Liam’s text this morning and with all the happiness of Paris running through him, Zayn had taken the liberty of adding a heart emoji after Liam’s name in his contacts. But now…

 

From Liam❤️️: I don’t know what’s going through your mind or what you’re thinking baby. I’m so confused, what happened? If you got upset after seeing Gisele please don’t be. There’s nothing there. I want you, only you. Call me or come see me bambi eyes. Please.

 

Zayn bit back a cry and shoved his phone away. He had no idea how to explain to Liam that it wasn’t just seeing Liam with someone who seemed a little too intimate with him. Those thoughts proceeded to unlock a can of worms. A mess of anxiety and self-deprecating thoughts that made him constantly question why. Why was Liam even interested in him? And what did everything that had happened in Paris mean to him? The past two days meant the world to Zayn but he wasn’t sure what they meant to Liam.

 

 

**

 

Liam was frustrated and everyone around him could sense it. They knew better than to bother him when he was in an off mood. Nobody wanted to be at the receiving end of his anger. There was no coming out of that unscathed. The meeting he was sitting in was tense the entire time and when it was over he strode out of the conference room towards his own office. He pulled out his phone and seeing no reply from Zayn even after a few hours he felt frustrated. He had no idea what had even happened with Zayn. One second he was talking to Gisele, then Rosie was telling him that Zayn had been there and he caught sight of Zayn fleeing into the elevator. The boy had been fine when he had dropped him off last night. Now suddenly he was back to avoiding Liam. And something had genuinely upset him but Liam had no idea what. If he had seen Gisele with Liam and assumed something, he had the complete wrong idea. Gisele had been there to ask why Liam hadn’t returned her calls and if she was still his date to Josh’s wedding. Liam had turned her down and she accepted it. They were friends first, they always would be. And besides, Liam didn’t care about anyone but Zayn. His mind was thoroughly consumed with Zayn at all times. He didn’t want anyone, need anyone or care for anyone but Zayn right now. Liam walked into his office and fell into his chair. He tossed his phone onto his desk and leaned his head back. He had his eyes closed and was rubbing his temples when the door to his office opened.

 

“Liam.” Liam looked up to see Ameera stride into his office.

 

“What’s wrong you’ve been off all day?” Ameera frowned at him as she came forward and set some papers down.

 

“Nothing Meemz. What’s up?” Liam asked.

 

“Need your signatures on these and also came to remind you that you’re going to Chicago today. For the club remember?” Ameera said.

 

“Fuck. Right. Almost forgot about that. Remember to send Niall a memo too. He’s coming with me.” Liam said and pulled open his MacBook.

 

“Of course.  Need anything else before I head out for the day?” Ameera asked.

 

“No you’re good to go. I’m gonna head out myself in two minutes. I’m meeting Reeves for some drinks then I have to go home and change before leaving for Chicago. I’ll see you tomorrow Ameera.” Liam said. He got up and grabbed his suit jacket and pulled it on to start heading out.

 

“See you tomorrow Li. Have fun in Chicago.” She smiled at him.

 

“Ha. Unfortunately not this time.” Liam grinned.

 

Ameera laughed and walked out of the office giving Liam a quick wave.

 

Liam grabbed his phone and started heading out as well. He took the elevator down to where the lobby was quite crowded as everyone was heading out to go home. He wove his way through the crowd to outside the building where Patrick was waiting with the car. When Liam stepped outside he took a moment to light a quick cigarette. He was on edge and had felt annoyed all day long. He hadn’t had a smoke break all day and the first puff made him sigh in relief. A few people walking out of the building smiled at him in recognition of their boss and he gave them short nods. He was not in the mood for pleasantries today. He was only on his third drag when he saw familiar locks of raven hair amongst the small sea of people. Zayn was looking agitated and extremely sad. Liam felt something twist inside him at seeing the boy’s beautiful face clouded in sadness. Harry was beside Zayn with an arm wrapped around him and seemed to be talking rather quickly about something. Zayn was only half-heartedly nodding along. Liam had been leaning against the building smoking and when Zayn and Harry passed by him, Zayn caught his eye. Liam noticed the boy inhale sharply and panic flash through his eyes. Why Zayn looked so panicked and stricken to see Liam made absolutely no sense. Zayn’s frozen posture had pulled Harry to a stop as well. Harry looked at Zayn confused then noticing Liam, realization passed over his face.

 

“Hi Liam.” Harry said.

 

“Harry.” Liam said in a neutral voice while keeping his intense gaze locked on Zayn.

 

Zayn was doing his best to keep his gaze locked on the sidewalk. His hands were fidgeting with the strap of his bag indicating his anxiousness.

 

“Zayn.” Liam said.

 

“Harry we’re gonna miss the subway.” Zayn said his voice cracking slightly. His eyes were darting everywhere but Liam’s face and his eyelashes were fluttering uncontrollably like they did whenever he was nervous.

 

Liam stubbed out his cigarette against the wall then threw it into a nearby trash can and moved forward.

 

“Baby. I know you want some space but what the actual fuck is going on? What happened Zayn. Talk to me.” Liam urged as he moved to take Zayn’s hand.

 

“I c-can’t. I can’t. You don’t- maybe you should go back to the- that woman. I’m not- I don’t know what this is.” Zayn said sounding distressed.

 

“Baby.” Liam said gently and took Zayn’s hand into his own. “We’ve been over this before. I don’t know what’s running through your mind right now but if you let me in-“

 

“I have to go.” Zayn said and quickly pulled away. He finally looked up at Liam and his eyes were wet and filled with sadness. He didn’t give Liam another chance and quickly started walking away.

 

Harry shot Liam another apologetic look and ran after Zayn who didn’t seem to be slowing down at all.

 

Liam looked after Zayn feeling confused and frustrated all together. Nothing about Zayn’s behaviour was making sense but Liam wasn’t about to quit or let Zayn go. He desperately needed to find out what was wrong and try to break through the walls Zayn was setting up again. Liam sighed and got into his car. He needed to take care of business in Chicago but he needed to simultaneously figure out a way to get through to Zayn. It’s like Paris had never even happened and Zayn was back to being the same closed off and panicked person before they had left.

 

**

 

Zayn had spent the entire afternoon and evening locked away in his bedroom. His family was utterly confused at his behaviour because they hadn’t seen or heard from him for two days when he was supposedly at Harry’s house and now he wouldn’t leave his bedroom. Safaa had come up earlier asking if Zayn would take her down to the splash-pads at the park and Zayn had declined, which he never did. His mom had made chicken karahi for him knowing it was his favourite and he had turned her away too. And finally, when Yaser had tried to convince Zayn to go on their usual evening walks, Zayn had declined yet again. That one confused them all the most because Zayn never refused anything related to his dad. He was closest with his dad and loved their evening walks where they chatted about their days. But Zayn’s refusal and upset state made his whole family get filled with worry. Zayn was laying in the dark on his bed listening to his “sad Bollywood songs” playlist when the door opened.

 

“ZayZay?” Harry entered his dark room and turned the light on.

 

Zayn covered his eyes and groaned. He felt his bed dip and he opened his eyes to see Harry had plopped down on the end of his bed. He had a plate of sliced mangoes in his hand and was staring at Zayn.

 

“How long are you gonna stay up here in the dark? Your family is really worried about you. Even Safaa is moping around knowing her bhaiya is upset. Honestly babe, I wish you wouldn’t feel like this. Maybe Liam is right and-“

 

“I don’t wanna talk about it Haz.” Zayn sighed out.

 

“Fine. But at least cheer up a little and maybe eat something?” Harry offered Zayn some mangoes while popping a piece into his own mouth.

 

“No thanks.” Zayn said.

 

“Do you wanna watch Game of Thrones? You know I don’t like that show but for you I’ll put my feelings aside and watch it with you.” Harry offered smiling at Zayn.

 

Zayn shook his head although he appreciated Harry’s efforts. The boy hated Game of Thrones while Zayn loved it to death. Harry’s offer meant he must be eager to cheer Zayn up.

 

“It’s okay babe. Thanks for offering though.” Zayn said.

 

The door knocked and was suddenly thrown open. Waliyha stood on the other end wearing a suspicious look. She slowly walked in with her arms behind her back.

 

“How’s it going majnu? I told Maa you must be depressed over some boy but she wouldn’t believe me. Then this was delivered to the front door.” She placed a large basket onto Zayn’s bed.

 

Zayn shot up immediately seeing what Waliyha had placed down. His breath caught in his throat and his body started thrumming again.

 

“Someone’s really gone all aashiq over you huh? Maa and Baba are really suspicious by the way but they wanna give you your space cus’ you’re acting moody. So you wanna tell me who it is?” Waliyha inquired as she poked through the contents of the basket.

 

“Waliyha. Leave.” Zayn said.

 

“Ugh. So annoying. Good luck to which ever lame ass decided to show interest in you.” Waliyha said and left the room.

 

Zayn rolled his eyes at her dramatics. Being closest in age from all their other siblings meant they bickered the most. Doniya was much older than both of them and was always the doting sister, like a second mom. Safaa was the baby of the family. Being only three years apart made Zayn and Waliyha closest to each other but also with the occasional spats. He knew she’d be back later to inquire about all this and even try to get details. Not that there was anything to really talk about.

 

“Open it.” Harry said looking at the massive basket eagerly.

 

Zayn gingerly pulled it towards himself. The basket itself looked extremely expensive and not something cheap that could be found in the arts and crafts aisle of a supermarket. No, this was a finely made, sturdy, rich brown coloured basket. There were many items inside it and Zayn first pulled out a deep red coloured rectangular box. It had a French inscription on the front in gold. Probably the shop’s name. Zayn slowly opened it and to his surprise he found macarons inside. They were delicately arranged in white tissue paper and Zayn’s mouth automatically watered looking at them. There was a white card inside as well and Zayn picked it up to read,

 

 _‘I remember how excited you were to try the different flavoured macarons from_ _Ladurée_

_in Paris. The way your face lit up at something as simple as macarons made me realize I would gladly spend every penny I have, to buy you macarons. Just to see that smile reappear.’_

 

Zayn’s heart felt assaulted with a riptide of emotions. He recognized Liam’s handwriting from the note he had left in the hotel in Paris. What was Liam doing?

 

“Wow. Zayn.” Harry said looking wide eyed at the note over Zayn’s shoulder.

 

Zayn was speechless and set down the macarons to pick up the next item. It was a black coloured box wrapped with a silver ribbon. Zayn slowly untied it to reveal chocolate truffles. The variety and design on each individual truffle indicated their expense and quality. There was another card in this box as well and Zayn picked it up shakily.

 

_‘Because I know you’re a slut for all things chocolatey baby. Your endearing love for sweet things and chocolate is something I can’t get over. I also can’t forget the image of you licking away the chocolate icing from my finger.’_

 

Tears were springing to Zayn’s eyes and his brain was screaming ‘why why why.’ What was Liam doing? Why was he doing all this? Zayn could feel his heart being wrenched with confusing emotions and he realized he was aching for Liam. He silently put down the chocolates then pulled out the next item. It was a black velvet covered drawing pad. A sleek silver box of charcoal pencils was packaged along with it. Zayn pulled another card out of the drawing pad.

 

_‘When we were having lunch in that café and playing 20 questions, you told me that you loved to draw. You sounded so unsure of yourself and although I haven’t seen any of your pieces yet, I know you’re probably talented as fuck baby. And I can never forget that moment because the sun was just starting to set and you looked so beautiful in that golden light with the wind pushing your hair into your eyes. And the way your beautiful, heart stopping hazel eyes looked in that moment made me realize that someone should draw or paint you. Your beauty is timeless.’_

 

Zayn realized he had tears streaming down his face and his body was trembling. Harry was silent beside him, taking everything in with Zayn as well. Honestly, Zayn was barely aware of Harry’s presence because he was just so stunned. He shakily pulled out the next thing which was a beautiful arrangement of 12 long stemmed red roses wrapped with a velvet string. Zayn withdrew another card tucked inside their stems.

_‘You told me roses are your favourite flowers. And I would buy them for you every single day. Your scent is also sweet and intoxicating like roses and not something I can get out of my mind.’_

 

Zayn wiped away the tears sliding down his face and pulled out the last item. He choked out a laugh as he realized it was a stuffed Bambi. A card was attached to the deer’s neck and he opened it up.

 

_‘This one doesn’t need an explanation. You’re bambi eyes. My bambi eyes.’_

 

Zayn wiped his tears and hugged the plush to his chest closing his eyes. He felt so insanely overwhelmed and speechless. Liam always managed to catch him by surprise. The man kept one-upping his own self and Zayn felt…. undeserving and confused. He also missed Liam so fucking badly it was causing him pain. It was frightening how much he felt gone for this man over the span of a few days. But could he blame himself when Liam did things like this?  
  
“This man is the smoothest, most charming motherfucker I have ever seen. I guess all those tabloid stories aren’t fake. He really is that amazing. You’re a lucky bitch Zayn.” Harry sat there eating a macaron from the box Liam had sent Zayn.

 

Zayn looked up at Harry not knowing what to say. He had been feeling so confused and depressed the whole day and now Liam had thrown his heart for a spin and he felt even more overwhelmed.

 

“Zayn you okay?” Harry asked.

 

Zayn took a deep breath and nodded slowly. He dropped himself down into Harry’s lap, his body limp across it. Harry automatically started petting Zayn’s hair.

 

“He makes me feel so much Harry. So many things that should not be okay. Things that should be illegal for how much damage they’re causing my heart.” Zayn mumbled into Harry’s leg.

 

Harry was about to say something but his phone started ringing. He looked at the screen confused.

 

“Unknown number. It better not be Toby booty calling me from a burner phone again.” Harry muttered then picked it up anyways. “Hello?”  
  
Zayn was playing with the ears of the Bambi plush when he felt Harry’s body tense.

 

“Oh… Hi Liam.” Harry said hesitantly.

 

Zayn’s body jerked around in such a sudden movement that he pulled a muscle in the side of his body. He grabbed his side in pain and looked up at Harry in panic.

 

“He got your gifts… Yes. He liked them.” Harry shot Zayn a smile who glared back at Harry.

 

“I think his phone is turned off yeah. How did you get my…. Oh… You have too much power.” Harry laughed. Zayn realized that for some reason he felt a pang of jealousy. Despite him being unable to talk to Liam, hearing Harry laugh with him so easily made him feel a little jealous.

 

“Does Zayn want to talk to you?” Harry looked at Zayn quizzically. Zayn shook his head violently and waved his arms signalling Harry that he didn’t want to talk.

 

“I don’t think Zayn’s up to talking. He’s been acting like a dramatic hoe all evening listening to his sad Bollywood songs playlist and eating nothing but an entire bag of M&Ms.” Harry flinched when Zayn elbowed him in the stomach.

 

“Okay I’ll pass along your message. Bye Liam.” Harry purposely made the last bit sound flirty to annoy Zayn who slapped his arm as Harry shut the phone.

 

“Why couldn’t you have just told him I was unavailable and shut the phone?” Zayn asked.

 

“Why are you feeling a little possessive? I’m trying to fix this for you Zayn. You’re overreacting so badly in this whole situation. This man would do anything for you. He’s so obsessed with you and so _so_ into you. And you know you feel the same way but you want to let it all go?” Harry asked.

 

“No I don’t want to let it go. I want him so much Harry. It hurts. It physically hurts.” Zayn felt his eyes well up again and Harry pulled him into a hug.

 

“I know babe. I know. Just call him okay? Talk to him and try to make sense of your conflicting and confusing emotions. He cares for you so much. And I know you do too. You’ve always wanted an extravagant love story Zayn. The romantic inside you has always dreamed of epic love. This is it babe. This could be it. Don’t let it go.” Harry pressed a kiss to the side of Zayn’s head.

 

 

“I just need to… think… I don’t know.” Zayn muttered feeling an inner clash going on.

 

“He said to call him. He was in Chicago for work I think he just got back.” Harry said.

 

“Oh. How did he sound? Did he sound good?” Zayn asked.

 

“Well…. His voice sounded really husky. Kind of tired like he was in bed but still very _very_ sexy.” Harry smirked down at Zayn.

 

“Shut up Harry. You can’t talk about him like that.” Zayn furrowed his brow and gave Harry a glare.

 

“And why can’t I?” Harry teased.

 

“Cus you can’t. You just can’t.” Zayn said firmly.

 

“No, I need to know why.” Harry pinched Zayn on his stomach and Zayn batted his hand away.

 

“Because.” Zayn shoved at Harry.

 

“Because why ZayZay?” Harry squeezed Zayn’s face between his hand and grinned down at him while Zayn glared up at Harry from his lap.

 

“Because he’s mine.” Zayn whispered and turned his face away.

 

 

**

 

 

It was close to midnight and Zayn was finally calmed down to an extent. He had emerged from his room earlier and had a late dinner with his family and reassured them that he was okay. When his mom inquired about the gift basket, he had frozen up. His dad, always the best at sensing Zayn’s nerves, quickly changed the subject knowing that Zayn would talk about it when he was ready. Zayn was grateful that his family always gave him room whenever he needed it the most. Because frankly, at this moment he was still unsure about what this _thing_ with Liam was.

 

Zayn sighed and rolled over in his bed. His room was dark with the only light coming in from the moon outside. The whirring of his fan was the only sound other than his screaming thoughts that just wouldn’t shut up. He was laying in the dark holding onto the Bambi plush and eating the chocolate truffles Liam had sent him. His logic was that despite being upset he couldn’t let perfectly good chocolates go to waste. And they did taste like heaven. Zayn felt his phone buzz beside him on the bed and he picked it up wondering who could be texting him so late. Liam.

 

From Liam: I know you don’t want to talk right now and you’re going through something… but just know that I’m thinking about you. All the time.

 

Zayn smiled despite his inner turmoil and traced his finger over Liam’s message imagining him somewhere in Manhattan typing out the message, with Zayn on his mind. If it was the truth that is. His phone buzzed again.

 

From Liam: I am going crazy without you though baby. Please talk me to whenever you’re ready. I just want to take away all your insecurities and show you what you mean to me.

 

Zayn’s eyes started welling up again.

 

“God Liam. What are you doing to me?” Zayn felt his eyes burn with tears and not giving his anxiety a chance to talk him out of it, he hit the call button.

 

The phone only rang twice before Liam picked up and his deep voice came through.

 

“Baby.” Liam’s was so gentle and concerned Zayn felt his heart shake inside his chest and his tears unleashed themselves.

 

“Liam.” Zayn whispered his voice shaking with tears.

 

“Zayn… what’s going on sweetheart? Talk to me. The only reason I’ve been calling you all day is because I just want you to let me know what’s going on inside your head. I’ve been so worried. You were fine when we got back from Paris. What happened after that?” Liam’s voice was soft despite the rough edge that was probably due to his immense exhaustion from travelling so much.

 

“S-so much. If I- If I start to tell you all of my thoughts, you’ll think I’m crazy or just stupid.” Zayn closed his eyes and held the phone to his ear with both hands.

 

“Oh baby I would never think that. Don’t you know that by now?” Liam asked.

 

“I-“ Zayn started. God, could he really let Liam into the utter chaos that was his mind?

 

“I have anxiety. Bad.” Zayn took a shaky swallow.

 

“I know Zayn. I’ve noticed.” Liam said gently.

 

“It- It’s not just like being anxious here and there, or the panic attack I had in front of you when I dropped that cake. It’s constant and consistent.” Zayn took a shaky breath.

 

The hardest part about explaining this to people wasn’t that people wouldn’t believe him, it was that they’d always be like ‘oh wow that must suck,’ and that would be it. No one really understood how much of a struggle it really was. How there weren’t mostly good days and a few off days, it was like constantly living bad days and being blessed here and there with a good day.

 

“I… I overthink everything. My mind is always a mess. I don’t… like that’s why I don’t even understand why you would want me. Paris was amazing but when I came up to your floor to see you and saw that woman touching you and talking to you… all that confidence I had slowly built up trying to reassure myself that you could like me back, all came undone. All I keep thinking about is the fact that you have so many options out there of people who are better looking than me, more intelligent and more experienced… sexually. Why would you want me? I don’t know what this is Liam.” Zayn buried his face into his arm so Liam couldn’t hear his sniffling because the tears had led up to a full-on crying session.

 

“Zayn I feel like maybe I haven’t been doing a good enough job of trying to convince you just how much I want you...” Liam sounded worried and Zayn started to curse himself for verbally vomiting and making Liam get concerned.

 

“No Liam. God no. The things you do for me… I’ve never seen anyone go so above and beyond. Like _ever._ You- You’re amazing. You’re so amazing. And I don’t think you’re lying or playing me I don’t… but my brain can’t stop reminding me that I’m nothing and that you would get bored of me so quickly and-“

 

“Zayn. Baby. Stop.” Liam said sternly.

 

Zayn stopped mid rant. Liam was silent on the other end for a few seconds and Zayn felt his stomach twist in ugly knots, knowing that he must have said something foolish to make Liam annoyed. What else was going to come out of this?

 

“I have never, in my entire life, felt like this about someone. From the second I saw you, I was gone. _You_ have a hold over me that nothing and nobody else can break. What you saw with Gisele today was nothing. Yes, she and me had an on and off thing some time back but not anymore. I don’t need anyone else. I don’t want anyone else. If you’re all I think about when I sleep and when I wake up, how is it even remotely possible for me to be with someone else at this point? I understand that you have anxiety and it causes you to doubt things. But just know this Zayn, I’m not going to get bored or tired of you. I’m going to here, reassuring you and kissing away every single one of your insecurities. Even if that’s every single day. I’m not gonna run away just because you have anxiety, it’s just going to make me want to care for you even more. I’ve become a prisoner in your beautiful eyes and your tender heart. Now tell me how anyone else can even compare? Everything and everyone in this world is black and white for me now. You’re the only colour I see. Vibrant and so fucking beautiful.” Liam’s voice throughout the last few minutes had been so strong and serious and at the last sentence it got so soft and gentle. The passion was dripping from his voice and Zayn felt like he was drenched. Soaked. Liam’s words had just ruined him completely and Zayn could drown in his own tears at hearing those beautiful words from the lips of the most beautiful man he’d ever known.

 

Zayn couldn’t muffle his cries anymore and he let it all out. He cried softly as he held the phone to his ear wanting to somehow transport himself through it and into Liam’s arms.

 

“Liam. Oh my- Ya Allah. Liam you’re just...” Zayn let out through his watery cries.

 

“What Zayn?” Liam prodded gently.

 

“I must have done some really good deed in the past few years for God to have sent you into my life. I don’t even believe it sometimes.” Zayn said.

 

“Believe it sweetheart. I _am_ here. I _will_ be here. And don’t _ever_ think you’re not good enough or don’t deserve the best in life. I’m not even talking about myself. Baby you’re so beautiful inside and out and everyone around you can see that. Your goodness radiates off of you. It’s captivating. And that’s why even the universe and God and everyone knows you only deserve good things.” Liam laughed softly.

 

“Thank you Liam. I just- thank you.” Zayn said in a faint voice feeling dizzy with all the emotions Liam was causing him.

 

“So, do you realize it now baby?” Liam asked.

 

“I do.” Zayn said in a small voice and sniffed while cradling his phone.

 

“Do I have to ramble on a little more?” Liam chuckled from the other end.

 

“No.” Zayn mumbled with a small smile.

 

“And can we agree that you may have overreacted on a few things a teeny tiny bit?” Liam asked.

 

“Yeah.” Zayn said starting to smile and rubbed at his eyes.

 

“And can we agree that you need to just talk to me whenever you feel upset and not run away? Because I will always be here to reassure you and remind you of what you mean to me.” Liam said.

 

“Yes.” Zayn sighed out feeling the weight he had been carrying lift off his chest.

 

“Good. Now quietly get out of bed and come outside your house.” Liam said.

 

Zayn shot up straight in bed in shock. He looked at the time and saw that it was a little after midnight. It was pitch black outside and Liam was- here?

 

“Wh- What?” Zayn asked and scrambled to get his legs untangled from his sheets.

 

“Come outside baby. I’m waiting.” Zayn could practically hear Liam’s grin through the phone.

 

“Outside?” Zayn squeaked. “Outside my house?”

 

“Yeah baby. I want to see your beautiful face.” Liam laughed a little.

 

“O-outside… In Brooklyn...” Zayn felt flabbergasted.

 

“In Brooklyn. Parked in front of your house. I can see a little pink bicycle outside your house, pots of flowers on your front steps and what looks like an inscription in Arabic on your front door.” Liam said.

 

“Fuck.” Zayn choked out. “You’re here…. I- I’m coming. I’m coming.” Zayn jumped out of bed and ran towards his bedroom door and opened it slowly.

 

The hallway outside his room was very dark. Everyone in his family was most likely asleep as they all went to bed super early anyways. Zayn slowly crept towards the stairs carefully avoiding the top step that creaked like a bitch and would guarantee him someone waking up. When he reached the front door he blindly pulled on two random shoes from the shoe rack and opened the front door. He ran down the front steps and- there. Liam was right there. Leaning against a black range rover, Liam stood wearing a fitted white t-shirt, black jeans and a snapback pulled backwards, covering his hair. He saw Zayn and his face broke out into a grin. Zayn smiled nervously and started down the sidewalk to Liam. Right before he reached him, his shoe caught in a crack in the sidewalk and he tripped but Liam caught him right on time. Zayn fell into Liam’s arms and let out a sigh. Liam hugged him tightly to his chest lifting Zayn off his feet a little. Zayn tucked his face into Liam’s neck and closed his eyes.

 

“Bambi eyes… how have you been?” Liam murmured into Zayn’s hair.

 

Zayn just nodded and didn’t respond. He just wanted to absorb this moment, and Liam, as much as he could. God, he’d missed him so damn much. He had been physically aching all this time without Liam. Zayn drew back taking a shaky breath and he knew his eyes were watery. Fuck his body for overreacting so quickly. Zayn reached his hand up to rub at his eyes but Liam beat him to it and wiped away Zayn’s tears. He then placed gentle kisses along the tear tracks on Zayn’s cheeks and lastly kissed Zayn’s closed eyelids.

 

“Don’t cry baby. I can’t bear to see you cry. These beautiful eyes should be sparkling with happiness at all times and not filled with tears.” Liam said and rubbed his finger under Zayn’s eye.

 

Zayn swallowed shakily and nodded at Liam. He hesitantly brought his shaky hands up to Liam’s face and cupped it gently.

 

“Can I say something?” Zayn whispered.

 

“Yeah baby.” Liam said and squeezed Zayn’s waist gently.

 

“I- I missed you. I missed you so much.” Zayn could feel his tongue start to stutter and his eyes get watery again. When would he ever be able to talk about his emotions without losing control of himself?

 

“Fuck baby. I missed you too. I was going crazy all day today. You wouldn’t answer my calls and I was losing my mind. Don’t do that ever again Zayn. You hear me. I was so worried.” Liam’s tone was gentle but stern as well as he looked at Zayn with a serious expression.

 

Zayn nodded and Liam kissed his forehead.

 

“It’s a little hot outside. Let’s get in the car.” Liam said.

 

Instead of opening the front door he pulled open the back one. He grabbed Zayn’s waist and hoisted him into the car then climbed in himself as well. The cool air from the air conditioner hit Zayn and he let out a sigh. He turned to Liam who beckoned Zayn towards himself. Zayn smiled timidly and slid over the seat to him. Liam pulled Zayn into his lip and pulled him tightly against his chest. He was dropping several kisses into Zayn’s hair when he stopped and started laughing.

 

“Baby I love your outfit.” Liam laughed and ran his hand over Zayn’s leg.

 

Zayn looked down at himself and blushed. He was wearing his Batman pajama pants and a white ragged tank top (it’s not like he was expecting company) but the worst part was that in his haste he had pulled on one of his dads massive black sandals on one foot, and Waliyha’s purple flip flop on the other. He was really fulfilling the quota of embarrassing himself in front of Liam.

 

“Oh… I didn’t have time to change… I’m sorry.” Zayn mumbled.

 

“Why are you apologizing Zayn? The pajama pants are cute. I love Batman too. Although for safety purposes you should wear the same shoes next time.” Liam chuckled and ran his hand through Zayn’s hair.

 

Zayn blushed and quickly kicked off his mismatched shoes then pulled his legs up to curl up completely against Liam.

 

“I was in a hurry and didn’t notice the shoes. I almost died when you said you were out here. My heart literally fell out of my chest.” Zayn said his face buried in Liam’s chest.

 

“Oh literally? Your heart ‘literally’ fell out of your chest?” Liam teased. “You’re a little bit of an exaggerator, aren’t you?” Liam tilted Zayn’s face up.

 

“Stoppp. I hate you.” Zayn pouted at Liam.

 

“Oh you hate me?” Liam asked. “Do you hate me when I do this?” Liam asked and ducked his head down to kiss the sensitive spot on Zayn’s neck, who let out a small gasp.

 

“Do you hate me when I do this?” Liam ran his tongue along the shell of Zayn’s ear who started shuddering in Liam’s arms.

 

“L-Liam…” Zayn let out a soft sigh.

 

“Do you also hate me when I do this?” Liam started sucking on a spot below Zayn’s ear while he ran his hand up Zayn’s shirt and ran his fingers along Zayn’s stomach.

 

“Liam.” Zayn whimpered and clutched fistfuls of Liam’s shirt in his hands.

 

“You always taste so sweet…” Liam murmured and ran his tongue under Zayn’s jaw and pressed a few kisses.

 

“C-Can I ask you for something?” Zayn said shakily.

 

Liam moved back and cupped Zayn’s face in his hands.

 

“Anything baby. I would give you this entire world if you asked me.” Liam stroked his thumb across Zayn’s cheek.

 

“Something smaller… but more significant… to me.” Zayn whispered.

 

“What is it?” Liam asked.

 

“Can you um… kiss me? The last time was in Paris and I… I’ve missed it so much.” Zayn turned his eyes away from Liam’s burning gaze.

 

“I’m dying to baby. God knows I haven’t stopped thinking of your lips these past two days…” Liam murmured and ran his fingers over Zayn’s lips. “How did the first one hold up by the way? Was it good enough for your first kiss?” Liam grinned at Zayn and tickled his fingers under his chin.

 

Zayn bit his lip and nodded. “Everything was… you were… you- you’re so perfect Liam… sometimes I can’t…” Zayn sighed. “When you kissed me in the rain my heart stopped beating… the dinner… the Eiffel tower… everything was amazing.”

 

“I seem to recall you also loved the bit where I pinned you to the bed.” Liam smirked and flipped Zayn down onto the seat and climbed on top of him.

 

“I- I…” Zayn blinked up at Liam his heart racing.

 

“Do you like when I do that baby?” Liam whispered and gently lifted Zayn’s hands above his head.

 

Zayn gulped and blinked back at Liam. How could he expose himself like that in front of Liam? Barring all the kisses in Paris they had done nothing else. Zayn had no idea how to proceed with all of this.

 

“Open your mouth and stick out your tongue a little.” Liam said and tapped his finger on Zayn’s chin.

 

Zayn’s eyes widened but he opened his mouth a little bit and stuck out his tongue slightly.

 

“Mm. The things I could do with this tongue.” Liam said and pressed the pad of his thumb on Zayn’s tongue.

 

Zayn blinked his eyes at Liam and he could feel his body start to shake a little. Liam looked at Zayn with dark eyes and a small smirk, then he swooped down and sucked Zayn’s tongue into his mouth in one quick motion. Nothing could have prevented the embarrassingly loud moan Zayn let out at that moment. He could have sworn his eyes rolled back so far in his head they rolled out. His hands desperately clutched at Liam’s arms and his legs automatically squeezed around Liam.

 

Liam was relentless. He was kissing Zayn like his life depended on it. Alternating between sucking on Zayn’s tongue and running his tongue around Zayn’s mouth. He had his thumb and finger on Zayn’s chin to open his mouth wider. The way his tongue rubbed against Zayn’s made Zayn let out a whimper. Liam sucked Zayn’s bottom lip into his mouth and nibbled at it.

 

“Liam… oh God… Liam…” Zayn panted out when Liam drew back and kissed along Zayn’s jaw.

 

“I might bust baby.” Liam said and kissed along Zayn’s neck.

 

“S-sensitive there…” Zayn said with a small moan and his hands shook violently where they grasped at Liam’s shoulders.

 

Liam looked up at Zayn and grinned then left a few wet kisses on Zayn’s neck. He proceeded to blow cool air over them which had Zayn squirming madly. Liam gripped Zayn’s hips to keep him still.

 

“I wonder where else you’re sensitive.” Liam murmured and moved down.

 

Zayn looked down at Liam breathlessly as he pushed Zayn’s shirt up. He made eye contact with Zayn and his eyes were brimming with lust. He dipped down and started leaving a path of kisses across Zayn’s torso.

 

“Oh god… Liam… “ Zayn gasped and clutched uselessly at the seat of the car. How was he this fucking sensitive to all of Liam’s kisses across his skin? This was insane. Zayn could feel himself getting aroused and his mind was foggy.

 

Liam ran his tongue along Zayn’s chest and stomach then blew air over the spot too. Zayn’s skin erupted in goosebumps and his stomach muscles clenched. Liam just grinned and continued his path downwards.

 

“Are you sensitive here too Zayn?” Liam asked with a smile and ran his fingers along Zayn’s stomach. Zayn nodded and took shaky breaths to calm his breathing.

 

“Are you sensitive here?” Liam asked and ran a finger along the waistband of Zayn’s pajama bottoms.

 

“I- I…” Zayn stuttered out.

 

Liam kept eye contact with Zayn and hooked his finger into Zayn’s pajama bottoms. Zayn suddenly realized he wasn’t wearing any boxers and was about to stop Liam when he realized Liam had only tugged the edge down slightly to expose his hip bone.

 

“You have such pretty hips baby boy.” Liam murmured then kissed across it. He ran his tongue along the sharp bone and nipped at it.

 

Zayn’s hands clenched at Liam’s shoulders again and his legs drew up in response. He couldn’t think about anything at the moment. The things Liam was doing was making his brain short-circuit. This is the kind of pleasure Harry always talked about. Zayn wanted to cry from all the ecstasy shooting through his veins. And yet, nothing had even happened yet.

 

“Zayn… You good?” Liam asked and Zayn nodded slightly although his brain was hazy and his body was screaming for some sort of release, he just didn’t know what.

 

“Can I try something?” Liam asked and wrapped his finger around the string of Zayn’s pajama bottoms.

 

“O-Okay.” Zayn stammered out. Honestly at this point he was ready for anything. His body was on fire and he need Liam so _so_ much.

 

Liam smirked a little and lowered his head to trap the string of Zayn’s pajama bottoms in his teeth. He was about to tug on it when Zayn saw something that made him freeze.

 

“L-Liam w-wait…” Zayn felt panicked suddenly.

 

“What baby? I’ll stop if you’re not comfortable you know that.” Liam said and stroked Zayn’s face soothingly.

 

“N-No not that. S-someone in my house is awake.” Zayn scrambled up in his seat feeling his heart rate spike.

 

“Oh no. Fuck. The light is on in the kitchen and living room. I left the door unlocked and if someone is awake they must have noticed. What if it’s my parents-” Zayn could feel his body start to shake.

 

“Shh. Baby it’s okay. Relax. Don’t freak out. Just go back in. I doubt they noticed you’re missing, you can just sneak back in.” Liam rubbed Zayn’s arms and kissed the side of his head.

 

“Okay. Okay. I should…” Zayn sat at the same time Liam did.

 

Liam grinned at Zayn and helped him straighten out his clothes.

 

“I wanted to ask you something important but we’ll just talk about it tomorrow. I have a meeting at RED so I’ll be down there okay? I’m gonna come looking for you baby.” Liam smiled and tugged Zayn forward to press a soft kiss to his lips.

 

Zayn blushed and wrapped his arms around Liam.

 

“Okay. And thank you for coming Liam. I didn’t even know how much I needed to see you until I saw you. Thank you.” Zayn whispered into Liam’s neck.

 

“Anything for you my sweet boy. I can’t stay away from you too long. I’ve become addicted to you. Your lips, your eyes, your voice… All I ever think about is you.” Liam said and kissed Zayn several times across his face.

 

Zayn smiled and pressed a kiss to the edge of Liam’s jaw then moved back.

 

“I have to go now… to possibly be killed.” Zayn said and slipped his shoes back on.

 

“Alright my little exaggerator.” Liam laughed. Then he pulled off his snapback and set it on Zayn’s head and twisted it around.

 

“See you tomorrow baby.” Liam kissed Zayn one last time and Zayn closed his eyes savouring the moment and the feel of Liam’s lips against his own.

 

“Good night.” Zayn sad softly then climbed out of the car.

 

He then turned and quickly hurried towards his house and up the front steps. At the stop of the steps he turned around to see Liam had gotten back in the driver’s seat. He blew Zayn a kiss then grinned and drove away. Zayn smiled feeling a blush hit his cheeks and he turned around to go into his house. He couldn’t hear any noise downstairs so he tried to move forward quietly when suddenly his mom walked out of the kitchen holding a glass of water. Zayn froze wide eyed in his tracks and Tricia raised an eyebrow at him.

 

“And where are you coming from?” She asked.

 

“Uh... I uh… I- I went to check the mail.” Zayn stammered out.

 

“Dressed like that?” Tricia pointed at his clothes and mismatched shoes. “And this late at night?” She looked at him suspiciously.

 

“U-Um well actually Maa I had ordered something from Amazon and I went to see if it was here.” Zayn stuttered out nervously twisting his hands.

 

“What did you order?” Tricia inquired.

 

“A- a book. I couldn’t fall asleep thinking about it since it was coming in today so I went to grab it from the mail.” Zayn rushed out.

 

“So where is it?” Tricia crossed her arms and glanced down at Zayn’s empty hands.

 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Why did he have to say that?

 

“W-well turns out it actually hadn’t arrived yet. I must have mixed up the dates. Anyways I’m going to bed. Good night Maa.” Zayn kicked his shoes off hastily and pressed a kiss to Tricia’s cheek then bolted up the stairs. He ran into his room and closed the door then quickly fell onto the bed. He let out a sigh and pulled off Liam’s snapback. He held it close to himself and smiled. His phone buzzed and he quickly grabbed it from the nightstand.

 

From Liam: Night bambi eyes. Dream of my kisses while I dream of what could have happened in the back of my car. ;)

 

Zayn groaned and thumped his pillow onto his face.

 

“He’s actually going to kill me. And I’m not exaggerating.” Zayn mumbled.

 

 

**

 

“Your coffee Sir.”

 

Rosie entered Liam’s office and set down his coffee onto his desk and shot him a tentative smile. It was Friday morning and Liam had just gotten into his office a half hour ago.

 

“Thanks Rosie.” Liam gave her a smile.

 

“You seem in a good mood today Mr. Payne. Better than yesterday.” She commented lightly gauging his reaction.

 

“Thanks Rosie.” Liam laughed. “I’m sorry If I was off yesterday or seemed annoyed. Things are better today.”

 

“I’m glad Sir.” She smiled at him and turned to leave his office.

 

After talking to Zayn last night and seeing him again, Liam felt like his mood had instantly gotten better. Sometimes his frustrations or anger got the better of him and people accidently came under fire, but he was better at keeping these things in check than he was a few years ago. Liam picked up his phone and unlocked it to pull up his text messages. He had a 100 unread messages that were mostly pointless, and he ignored all of those to go to his chat with Zayn. He had texted Liam this morning and Liam couldn’t help but smile practically feeling the boy’s nervousness yet budding relaxation at being able to text Liam first.

 

From Bambi Eyes: I hope you’re having a good morning. Thank you for last night. You always know what to say and how to make me feel better.

 

His contact picture for Zayn was one he had taken in Paris and whenever he saw it, it made his heart skip a beat. Zayn had been laughing completely uninhibited with his eyes scrunched up and his tongue tucked behind his teeth. Both of his hands were covering his mouth but they couldn’t hide how openly and beautifully he had been laughing. The sound of his laugh was like music to Liam’s ears.

 

_“I don’t need anything Liam. Please don’t spend an insane amount of money on some gift. You bringing me here, to Paris, is the most amazing gift of all. I don’t need to shop as well.” Zayn had seemed extremely shocked when Liam asked Zayn if he wanted to buy anything from all the shops they were passing by._

_“Listen baby. You can protest all you want but I’m gonna end up buying you something. You may as well choose something you like before I buy you something of my own choice, like a bracelet from Cartier.” Liam grinned at Zayn from where they were walking side by side._

_“Liam!” Zayn said scandalized at Liam’s brash decisions._

_Liam grinned and took Zayn’s hand into his own. He pulled Zayn closer and pressed a kiss to his head. “I’m not joking Zayn.”_

_“If you’re not going to back down then fine. I’ll choose one thing. Just_ one _thing. And you can’t question my choice.” Zayn said._

_“I won’t.” Liam promised._

_Zayn smiled at him then pulled to a stop in front of several stalls set up that were surrounded by tourists. All sorts of little trinkets and tacky souvenirs were sold here and Liam was starting to wonder why Zayn had stopped here. Zayn walked towards a small stall and ran his hand over several items. He paused at one item and picked it up. Liam walked closer to Zayn and stopped behind him. He wrapped an arm around Zayn’s waist and rested his chin on top of his head. He looked down at what Zayn was holding and noticed that it was a simple keychain of the Eiffel Tower._

_“You can buy me this.” Zayn turned his head and smiled at Liam._

_“That? Are you serious? I was thinking of buying you something from YSL, Hermes, Burberry, Hublot or like I said even Cartier. And you choose a key ring that costs like what, one euro? Baby…” Liam laughed a little._

_“I like it. And you said I could choose. I don’t want expensive things Liam. Just a little souvenir to remind me of this trip is good enough.” Zayn said. His voice was filled with steady determination and Liam smiled shaking his head._

_He pressed a kiss to Zayn’s head as he pulled out his wallet. Zayn grinned back and turned around in Liam’s arms to hug him. He stayed wrapped around Liam like that and Liam smiled at Zayn endeared with how the boy had been slowly coming out of his shell all day. Liam pressed a kiss to Zayn’s temple as he passed over some money to the owner of the souvenir stall. The man smiled and handed the keychain over to them in a small bag._

_“Oh! One second.” Zayn spun around quickly and picked up a matching key chain. He pulled out some money from his own pocket and before Liam even realized what had happened, Zayn quickly handed the man another euro and picked up a second matching key chain._

_“This is for you. I want to give you something as well.” Zayn smiled shyly at Liam and handed him the matching key chain._

_“Baby you don’t have to-“ Liam started but Zayn gripped his hand tightly and looked at Liam with wide eyes._

_“Please Liam. I- I just want to buy you this matching one so when you look at it you’ll remember me… hopefully. Please?” Zayn asked softly._

_“Of course sweetheart.” Liam said and pulled Zayn into an embrace. Zayn melted into his arms and sighed._

_“Thank You.” Zayn said his voice muffled into Liam’s chest._

_“Anything for you. Anything.” Liam murmured._

_Zayn drew back and grinned at Liam. “That’s a dangerous offer Mr. Payne. If you say that to people they may just rob you of everything you own.”_

_“I don’t say that to anyone but you baby. And you can take everything I have. You’ve already robbed me of my heart. Nothing else compares.” Liam smiled at Zayn who blushed and moved away a little. He fidgeted with his key chain clearly overwhelmed by Liam’s words._

_“I won’t take anything else I promise.” Zayn said in a small voice._

_“Not even my body? Fuck I was looking forward to that.” Liam teased with a smirk on his face._

_Zayn burst into unexpected giggles at Liam’s comments and quickly covered his mouth to hold them back. Liam’s heart expanded in his chest at the beautiful sound of Zayn’s laughter. He pulled out his phone and took a picture of Zayn wanting to remember this moment and Zayn’s face forever._

_“Leeyumm.” Zayn whined covering his face. But it was too late because Liam already had the perfect picture._

_“You’re beautiful baby. Now let’s go have lunch.” Liam pulled Zayn towards himself and pressed a few kisses on his face._

Liam smiled to himself at all the wonderful memories from that day. The way Zayn had been completely uninhibited in Paris had been amazing to experience. Yesterday’s confusion had caused him to draw back into his old nervous and distressed self. But after talking it out Liam was now determined to never let Zayn go back into his state of self-doubt. He just wanted Zayn to always remain comfortable, open and happy around him.

 

The phone on his desk beeped breaking him out of his thoughts. The light was flashing on line one indicating that one of his secretaries was calling him from outside.

 

“Yes?” Liam asked holding down the speaker phone button.

 

“Mr. Payne just a reminder that your meeting at RED starts in about ten minutes.” Lesley’s voice rang through.

 

“Thanks Lesley.” Liam said.

 

“No problem” Lesley replied and shut the phone.

 

Liam got up and collected his iPad and phone to head downstairs to RED. They had recently signed on a few high-profile football players and Liam had called a meeting to discuss the best PR strategies to set up for them. They had started bringing in more A-list celebrities and it was making RED’s profile sky-rocket. Everything Liam had envisioned for his management firm was coming true. He took the elevators down to the 45th floor and walked out towards the conference rooms. Realizing he was technically ten minutes early he strode past those rooms towards the interns room at the back. He gave quick replies to people’s greetings and when he got closer to the interns room, he heard muffled music. The door was closed and Liam could hear music and laughter coming from inside. He opened the door and was greeted with the sounds of Ariana Grande’s ‘Side to Side’ (thanks to Ameera playing not much else whenever she was around him) and the image of Zayn, Harry and the two girls from the other day all dancing as they simultaneously filed papers. Liam’s eyes immediately zoned in on Zayn and he grinned. Zayn was laughing and doing some goofy dance moves with Harry, his eyes sparkling with joy. No one had noticed Liam yet so he just leaned against the door frame and kept watching Zayn. Harry pinned Zayn against the table and started grinding up against him and Liam would have felt crazy jealousy if he didn’t already know that the two were like brothers. Zayn was laughing at Harry’s behaviour and pushed Harry away and went back to dancing, moving his hips in an innocent but (to Liam) extremely sensual manner. One of the girls gasped having noticed Liam and she pulled the other girl to a stop too. They were staring at Liam open-mouthed and Liam just grinned at them and went back to watching Zayn who was still dancing. Harry had also stopped in the middle of a dance move and was staring at Liam slightly embarrassed. Zayn was yet to notice and it was only when he spun around whilst in the middle of singing and dancing to the chorus, that he bumped into Liam.

 

“…side to side-“ Zayn froze wide eyed when he bumped into Liam’s chest and looked up at him. He turned beet-root red and Liam could tell embarrassment was causing the boy’s body to become heated.

 

“I’m pretty sure you would be.” Liam murmured low enough so only Zayn could hear.

 

Zayn flushed even more deeply and Liam realized someone had shut off the music and they were all staring at him.

 

“Are we fired?” The blonde girl asked him.

 

“No.” Liam laughed. “Why would you think that?”

“Well Duvall doesn’t know that we sometimes close the doors and have mini-dance parties while working. If he knew…” Harry started.

 

“Well if it bothers Duvall I suggest you keep it up.” Liam grinned and everyone in the room laughed a little starting to relax.

 

“Seriously I don’t care. If you wanna have some fun while doing your work why not. God knows I have my own secrets up in my office.” Liam chuckled.

 

“Like kinky stuff?” Harry asked smirking.

 

“Yeah Harry.” Liam winked at him.

 

Liam then looked at Zayn who had moved away an appropriate amount and was shuffling his feet looking off to the side. He had a yearning to pull the boy into his arms and kiss his flushed cheeks and bitten lips. But he knew with everyone else in the room Zayn wouldn’t want to do that (although Liam himself didn’t care).

 

“Guys- Mr. Payne, you’re here.” Duvall’s assistant Penny came into the room and stopped short seeing Liam.

 

“Yes I am.” Liam said.

 

“Oh, we’re about to start the meeting. I need one of you guys in there too. So you can choose amongst yourselves who it will be. I just need one of you to hand out coffee and some paperwork to everyone in the room as we conduct the meeting. Not too hard.” She said.

 

“Zayn can do it.” Liam said and everyone in the room snapped their necks to look at him.

 

“Ah. Sure. Anyone is fine.” Penny said and smiled at him.

 

“Good. See you there.” Liam smiled at her then shot a quick grin to a dazed Zayn and left the room.

 

 

**

 

 

Liam was sitting at the head of the conference room table as the meeting had just begun. Duvall was droning on about what he thought was the best plan going forward. Liam was waiting for the right moment to come in and tell him that he didn’t agree with him. Duvall was clearly planning things that Liam didn’t agree with. Things he himself had hated with his old management firm when he played and he would not let them be implemented here. But for now, he let Duvall have his moment and lay out his ridiculous plan. The man had done good work when he first started but now he was starting to bring in ridiculous ideas. The door opened and Liam looked up to see Zayn enter the room tentatively holding a stack of folders. He looked nervous as he shut the door behind him. He adjusted his glasses and walked forward slowly towards the table.

 

“Hand one to everyone,” Penny whispered to Zayn from where she sat beside Duvall.

 

Zayn nodded and started circling the table putting a black folder in front of everyone. When he reached Liam he met Liam’s eyes and gave him a tentative smile.

 

“Hi baby,” Liam murmured. Zayn flushed and looked around and after seeing that no one had noticed, he gave Liam a shy smile then went back to handing everyone the folders. He started to move towards the corner of the room when Liam spoke up.

 

“Can I get a coffee refill?” Liam looked towards Zayn and signalled to his mug.

 

Everyone paused in the room for a second and looked between them then the conversation started up again. Zayn looked at Liam and nodded then picked up the coffee pot from the corner and came towards Liam. He started pouring the coffee into Liam’s mug and his hands were trembling. Liam kept his gaze locked on Duvall who had started a media presentation and everyone was looking towards the screen. Liam took the opportunity to slide his hand up Zayn’s leg who stood beside him. Zayn’s hand shook and he spilt a little of the coffee.

 

“Liam,” Zayn whispered frantically.

 

“Hm?” Liam asked although he was smirking slightly. Liam continued to slide his hand up the back of Zayn’s thigh and when he reached the part where Zayn’s thigh met his ass he heard Zayn gasp lowly. Liam grinned and ran his hand further up and gave Zayn’s ass a small squeeze then he dropped his hand.

 

Zayn quickly moved away and went back to return the coffee pot. Two other people asked for refills and he poured it for them as well. When he was done he deposited the pot where it belonged. After a whispered conversation with Penny he went towards the door. When he turned back momentarily, Liam gave him a quick wink. Zayn hurried out the door as quickly as possible. Liam bit back a grin at the boy’s embarrassment. By God, it was the cutest fucking thing ever.

 

 

 

**

 

 

Zayn couldn’t believe Liam had done that. Right in a room full of people and his boss as well, Liam had- he had grabbed Zayn’s ass. The man was going to tease and embarrass him to death. It had felt- arousing as fuck- but still so embarrassing.

Zayn sighed and continued to place the papers into the copy machine to make copies. He had been in the copy room since leaving the conference room and was assigned the task of making hundreds of copies for some forms. But he was glad. He had some solitude in here and maybe he could will his heart to stop beating so fast. Zayn was about to place another form in the copy machine when he heard the door to the room close behind him. He spun around and was met with Liam. He was staring at Zayn with a dark glint in his eyes. Zayn looked at the closed door behind Liam, then at Liam who was so close to him, Zayn could smell Liam’s cologne that he was so addicted to. His heart started thudding wondering what Liam was doing in here.

 

“Li-“ Zayn didn’t get to finish his sentence because Liam grabbed him by the waist, picked him up and put him on top of the copy machine then he attacked Zayn’s lips.

 

Zayn whimpered at the sudden and harsh kiss but he felt his entire body go up in flames. His eyes closed automatically and he wrapped his arms and legs around Liam to return the kiss. Liam was kissing him like a starved man and Zayn had absolutely no control over the whimpers he was letting out. Although Zayn had nothing to compare this to, he was pretty sure there was no one in this entire world who kissed like Liam. The passion and fire in his kisses was alone to make someone come on the spot, Zayn would not survive the sex if they got there.

 

“Baby boy,” Liam said in between kisses, “You drive me fucking insane.”

 

“I don’t even,” Zayn started breathlessly but Liam was kissing along his neck now and Zayn moaned. Fucking hell, now that Liam knew how sensitive he was there he would never let it go.

 

“I had to ask you something,” Liam murmured as he placed another kiss on Zayn’s lips.

 

“Hm?” Zayn asked dazed and feeling too hot.

 

“Remember how I mentioned last night I had to ask you something important today?” Liam asked and cradled Zayn’s face in his hands.

 

“Yeah?” Zayn asked looking up at Liam.

 

“I want you to come with me to my friend Josh’s wedding tomorrow.” Liam said as he stroked along Zayn’s cheek.

 

“What?” Zayn broke out of his daze feeling suddenly alert. “A- a wedding?”

 

“Yes. One of my best friend’s wedding. Remember the guy whose bachelor party I organized in Ibiza? Him. I want you to come with me.” Liam was running his thumb along Zayn’s chin in gentle circles and he leaned forward to press another kiss to Zayn’s open mouth.

 

“But I- I won’t know anyone there… Why would you want to take me?” Zayn asked.

 

“Because I want to. Didn’t I just tell you last night that I’m serious about this, about us. I want you to come with me baby. And besides there’s a lot of people coming to the wedding not many people technically know each other so you’ll be fine.” Liam said reassuringly.

 

“Are you sure?” Zayn felt uneasy about going to a wedding where he knew absolutely no one but Liam. He didn’t really like attending events with a lot of people let alone strangers.

 

“I’ll be with you the whole time. Promise. It’ll be fun and you can meet my idiotic friends.” Liam grinned at him

 

Zayn smiled back at Liam and glanced down for a few seconds thinking it all over in his mind. He didn’t want to keep holding back on things and miss out on whatever was building between him and Liam. Not exactly a relationship yet, but it still felt like something big. And that it would get even more bigger the more he let himself open up.

 

“Okay.” Zayn whispered.

 

“Okay?” Liam asked and tilted Zayn’s face up.

 

Zayn blinked up at Liam and gave him a smile. “I’ll go.”

 

“Awesome.” Liam’s face brightened and he wrapped his arms around Zayn again and pulled him forward to kiss him deeply. Zayn sighed into the kiss and opened his mouth to meet Liam’s tongue with his own. In the middle of their heated kiss Zayn heard a beeping sound start again and he looked to the side to see that he had pushed a button and the copy machine had started copying again. Zayn looked down at the papers coming out confused and when he saw the image he gasped.

 

“Liam it photocopied my ass!” Zayn yelled horrified and hopped off the machine.

 

Liam picked up one of the papers falling out and realizing it had indeed photocopied Zayn’s ass from where he had been sitting on the scanning part of the machine, Liam burst out laughing.

 

“It’s not funny!” Zayn whined and grabbed all the papers popping out.

 

“It’s a nice ass baby. Why are you so horrified?” Liam smirked at Zayn,

 

“There’s going to be like 50 of these that come out.” Zayn sounded panicked.

 

“It’s fine baby. Just throw them out.” Liam pulled Zayn towards himself and kissed him to relieve his nerves. Zayn sighed and nodded still looking worried.

 

Liam helped Zayn throw out all the papers then when they were done Liam grabbed his hand.

 

“Now let’s go out for lunch.” Liam started pulling him towards the door and Zayn looked at him confused.

 

“Lunch?” Zayn asked.

 

“Yeah it’s your lunch hour, I take mine whenever I want to, so let’s go out. I want to take you out for lunch.” Liam opened the door and started leading Zayn out.

 

“O-okay.” Zayn said although he slid his hand out of Liam’s because he didn’t want people to know of this thing between him and Liam. Duvall already assumed Zayn had ‘fucked his way into the job’ and Zayn didn’t want others to think the same.

 

Liam gave him a knowing smile and let go of his hand. Zayn followed Liam over to the elevators and quickly shot Harry a text saying he was going out with Liam. Harry replied with a bunch of emojis that only meant ‘I hope you have fun getting your ass ate for lunch.’

 

**

 

“Did you get into the car?” Liam asked Zayn over the phone.

 

It was Saturday afternoon, the day of the wedding and Liam was waiting for Zayn to come over to his place. Liam had told Zayn that his stylist would be coming over with a suit for him and that she’d get one for Zayn as well. It would be best if Zayn came over to Liam’s place and got ready with him and they left together. Zayn had sounded unsure about what to tell his parents regarding his disappearance the entire day and he came up with another lie about going out for the whole day with Harry and work friends. Liam had sent Patrick to pick Zayn up, and now he was on his way over.

 

“Yes I am. Thanks for sending the car.” Zayn said.

 

“No need to thank me baby. I’m not going to let you take an hour long subway to get here.” Liam said as he lounged in front of his TV sipping his coffee.

 

“Still. I’ll see you in a bit.” Zayn answered.

 

“See you in a bit baby.” Liam said and turned his phone off.

 

They still had a few hours till they had to get ready for the wedding but Liam just got Patrick to drive Zayn over here early anyways. He was always craving and missing the boy so much, that having a few hours extra with him was worth it. Ameera was coming over with some work that Liam planned on getting through before Caroline, his stylist, came over with their suits so they could get ready for the wedding.

 

Liam decided to take advantage of the next half hour to take a shower so he headed off to his bathroom. When he got out he heard voices downstairs so pulling on sweats really quickly and headed downstairs. He walked through his living room towards the main foyer of his penthouse and saw Ameera and Zayn both coming in at the same time.

 

“Hello intruders,” Liam smiled.

 

“I have your key dickhead, and Zayn got here at the same time as me so I let him in too.” Ameera rolled her eyes and smacked Liam’s arm. “And put some clothes on, you’ll traumatize my cat.”

 

Liam looked down and saw Ameera holding the carrying case for her cat and he groaned.

 

“Why’d you bring your cat Meemz she likes to claw at my furniture.” Liam glared at Ameera.

 

“Because I’m taking her to the vet afterwards and I’m not going to go all the way back to my place to pick her up. Suck it up.” She walked off towards the living room.

 

Liam turned towards Zayn who seemed frozen in some trance. Liam was confused for a few seconds then he saw Zayn had his gaze trained on Liam’s shirtless abs that still had some water droplets on it. Zayn gulped slowly as his eyes slowly moved over Liam’s body and up to his eyes. Liam smirked when Zayn met his gaze and he noticed the boy blush. Liam moved forward and pulled Zayn into his arms.

 

“Bambi eyes,” Liam said then tiled Zayn’s head up into a sweet kiss.

 

“Hi,” Zayn whispered back.

 

“We have a few hours till we have to go. You can just chill here baby.” Liam smiled then took Zayn’s hand and led him towards the living room.

 

Zayn sat down onto the sofa beside Ameera who was pulling out her evil (Liam thought so) cat from its carrier. Liam went up to his room to pull on a shirt then he came back down bringing his MacBook with him. When Liam came down Ameera already had her laptop open, papers strewed beside her and her feet up on the coffee table. Zayn was sitting on the carpet playing with Ameera’s cat and giggling at the cat’s antics.

 

“What’s her name?” Zayn asked Ameera.

 

“Luna. You know from Harry Potter? She was always my favourite character, thus the name.” Ameera smiled at Zayn.

 

“I like that. I love cats and I’ve always wanted one but my little sister is allergic. Maybe one day when I have my own place.” Zayn said and turned back to the cat as she was jumping wildly, pawing at the toy Zayn was dangling in front of her.

 

Liam couldn’t help but watch Zayn and think of how adorable he looked when he cooed at Luna and softly stroked her grey fur. The cat seemed docile with Zayn while she usually hated Liam. Zayn was giggling as Luna licked his hand and Liam felt like his face would break from smiling so fondly at this boy who had taken away his sanity.

 

“Ahem.” Ameera cleared her throat and Liam broke his gaze away from Zayn and looked at her. She was giving him a pointed look and Liam rolled his eyes at her.

 

“Did you get the marketing report back?” Liam asked her.

 

“Sure I did.” She grinned then handed him a file.

 

For the next hour Liam and Ameera got immersed in their work as Zayn kept Luna occupied and turned the television on at a low volume (after asking Liam ten times if it was okay) and he watched an old FRIENDS rerun. Liam had been able to keep his gaze away from Zayn long enough, only occasionally smiling at the boy as he lay on the floor with Luna purring on his chest. Then Zayn decided to turn onto his stomach facing away from the sofa Liam and Ameera sat on. He was watching the TV while kicking his legs lazily and occasionally petting Luna who was dozing off. Liam looked at Zayn and his gaze fell to Zayn’s ass. The boy didn’t even know how provocative he looked laying like that on his stomach, his skinny jeans tight against his ass and making it look marvellous. The thoughts running through Liam’s mind were wild and he couldn’t stop thinking about how he wanted to see Zayn’s ass covered in red handprints from Liam gripping it tightly, and love bites littered across. Liam felt a kick to his leg and he looked over to see Ameera giving him an amused glare.

 

‘Get. Your. Head. Out. Of. The. Gutter.’ She mouthed to him.

 

‘Fuck. Off.’ Liam mouthed back while giving her the finger.

 

“She seems a little fussy all of a sudden.” Zayn said turning over to look at Ameera.

 

“Yeah she probably just wants to doze in the sunlight. At my apartment she barely ever leaves the balcony. Why don’t you take her up to the roof?” Ameera suggested.

 

“The building’s roof? How would I get there?” Zayn asked sitting up.

 

“Not the building’s roof. This rich bitch has the entire roof to himself, it’s joined to the penthouse. You just go to the second floor then there’s another set of stairs to go to the third floor, the roof.” Ameera said.

 

“Oh. Wow. Should I go?” Zayn asked looking at Liam uncertainly.

 

“If you want to baby. And if you’re hungry or thirsty help yourself to anything in the kitchen. Don’t hesitate.” Liam smiled at Zayn.

 

“Ok. Thank you.” Zayn smiled and scooped Luna up then walked towards the stairs.

 

“What are your intentions with him?” Ameera asked. “He’s a good kid, and if you’re gonna do your typical have a few fucks then move on thing-“

 

“No Meemz. Not like that. Zayn is different for me. He means so much more to me than just that. We haven’t slept together yet and I would never force anything until he’s ready. I would gladly wait an eternity for him.” Liam said.

 

“Good. Because with both of us being Pakistani I’ve already adopted him as a younger brother in my mind, even though he may not know it, and I’ll cut off your dick if you hurt him.” Ameera smiled sweetly at him.

 

**

 

 

Zayn had made his way through Liam’s second floor and found his way to take the stairs to the roof. Liam’s place was- wow. Just wow. Most of the room doors were closed and he wasn’t the kind to snoop, but what he did see left his mouth hanging open. The place was as big as a mansion, yet it was situated as a penthouse. Why one man living alone needed a three-story penthouse confused Zayn. But Liam seemed like an all-or-nothing kind of guy. Someone who settled for nothing but the best. Liam’s bedroom door had been left open and when Zayn peeked in he saw a massive king size bed, in fact it looked bigger than even king-size. The covers were white and were rumpled indicating that they had been recently slept in. There was a t-shirt thrown over the bed, but other than that it looked neat. Before Zayn could look further into the room he quickly turned away and went towards the stairs. He took them up and opened up the door onto the roof. As Zayn stepped onto the sunny roof he gasped. It was fucking massive. There was an infinity pool running on one side, a hot-tub, a full rooftop bar, a massive patio decked out in furniture. There were massive speakers at every end of the roof. And then loads of open space. This was the kind of place one could throw an amazing party. And considering Liam’s lifestyle, he probably did. Zayn settled onto a chair on the raised patio and put Luna down beside him. She stretched happily in the sun and started dozing off. Zayn himself had just started dozing off a little bit in the warmth of the sun when he heard a door open and footsteps approach him.

 

“You two look cute.” Ameera smiled down at him.

 

Zayn got up smiling sheepishly and rubbed his eyes.

 

“Liam’s stylist is here so you should go and start getting into your suit. Me and Luna have to leave now.” Ameera said and scooped Luna up.

 

“Okay. Thanks for letting me chill with her.” Zayn said.

 

“No thank _you_ for watching her. She’s a brat and she loves to destroy Liam’s furniture so you kept her away from trouble today.” Ameera grinned. “Anyways you should go down and get ready.”

 

Zayn stood up and accompanied Ameera down to the second floor. She told him to go into the guest room where apparently the stylist Caroline was waiting with his suit. Zayn walked into the room hesitantly and was met with two women arguing over something, and Liam no where in sight.

 

“You must be Zayn.” One woman smiled at him.

 

“I’m Caroline. This is my assistant Monica, she’ll do your hair and that kind of stuff. She usually does Liam’s hair and makeup if needed for big events so she’ll help you out too.” Caroline smiled kindly at him.

 

“Okay. Where um is Liam.” Zayn asked.

 

“He had a skype call to attend to so he’s in his home office. But you should start trying on these suits so we can see what looks best on you.” She said and rolled forward a rack of suits.

 

Zayn looked at all the suits and wondered if Liam had bought them all and how expensive they must have been.

 

“Come on honey. Take off your shirt. Or go into the bathroom if you’re shy.” Caroline said and handed him the first one.

 

Zayn nodded and took the suit and walked into the bathroom adjoining the guest room to start trying on the suit.

 

**

 

 

“Ready to go?”

 

Zayn was stood in Liam’s living room, anxiously twisting his hands for the past 15 minutes while Liam finished getting ready in his own room. Zayn had gone with an all-black suit and Monica had styled his hair into a perfect quiff. Zayn turned around at Liam’s voice and felt the air get knocked out of him. Liam, like him, was dressed in all black suit as well that was hugging his muscled body perfectly. His beard and hair as always looked impeccable and Zayn felt himself choke at how fucking attractive this man was.

 

“Y-yeah.” Zayn answered dazed.

 

But he noticed Liam wasn’t responding either. Liam was taking Zayn in slowly. His eyes dragging over Zayn’s body in a heated gaze. When his eyes slowly came back up to Zayn’s they were glinting.

 

“I don’t know if I want to take you out anymore. Kind of want to keep you here all to myself.” Liam said in a low murmur.

 

He walked over to Zayn in a slow predatory way and when he reached Zayn he gripped his hips tightly.

 

“You’re going to fucking kill me one day baby boy I swear to God.” Liam said before he captured Zayn’s lips in a heated kiss. Zayn moaned softly feeling Liam’s soft lips against his. Liam was kissing him and nipping at his lips in a slow, torturous manner. Zayn moulded himself to Liam’s front and held onto his arms tightly. Liam broke away from the kiss and ran his thumb over Zayn’s spit slick lips.

 

“Unfortunately as much as I want to keep you here and just…. ravish you, we have to get going. I am the best man and I need to be early.” Liam said but he himself couldn’t pull away.

 

“Ok.” Zayn answered.

 

“We will continue this later baby.” Liam murmured and took Zayn’s hand into his own.

 

“But before we go,” Liam reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a box.

 

Zayn stared feeling confused till Liam opened it and presented a gleaming watch. A beautiful, ornate and extremely expensive looking silver watch. The inscription said Hublot and Zayn was no idiot. He knew how expensive those were.

 

“Liam. I- I can’t. What-“ Zayn started shaking his head confused.

 

“You wouldn’t let me buy you anything nice in Paris. But I won’t have that Zayn. So here, I bought it for you and you can wear it today.” Liam took Zayn’s wrist gently and fastened the watch onto it.

 

Zayn looked down at the watch dumbfounded then up at Liam.

 

“Liam these watches are minimum $10,000 and then above. I’m not stupid. I can’t have this.” Zayn said feeling troubled.

 

“That’s nothing to me. And I _want_ you to have it. I want to shower you with wonderful things baby. You deserve all this and so much more. This is such a small thing to me. I just want to spoil you with everything this world has to offer.” Liam said and he drew Zayn into the circle of his arms and kissed him on his forehead.

 

“Liam you’re just… and I’m. What-“ Zayn stammered.

 

“Don’t question it baby. Now we _really_ have to get going. Come on.” Liam took Zayn’s hand and led him out the main door of the penthouse and into the small private hall that was outside his penthouse where an elevator opened up directly.

 

“Liam you seem to say that I’m going to kill you, but you’re the one who’s actually giving me so many little heart attacks that one day I’m going to drop dead.” Zayn said as he turned himself to tuck his face into Liam’s chest.

 

“Always the exaggerator bambi eyes.” Liam chucked and dropped a kiss to the top of Zayn’s head and wrapped his arms around him to hold him securely.

 

 

**

 

 

The ceremony at the church was over and now everybody was at the Plaza for the reception dinner. Liam was happily surprised that Zayn hadn’t been that nervous and had gotten through most of the day. Although he had to leave Zayn on his own inside the Church because Liam was expected to be up at the altar with Josh, and Zayn had to find a seat in the pews, he had seemed okay. Now they were seated at their table in the reception hall. It was so beautifully decorated, like something straight out of a fairy-tale. Bianca was an interior designer for a living and she had outdone herself by making her reception hall look magical. Everything was in whites, silvers and a soft pale pink. There were soft candles glittering and white hydrangeas on every table. There were low lanterns across the ceiling, creating a majestic glow. They had all just finished their toasts and speeches for the bride and groom and were just enjoying dinner now. All the groomsmen and their dates were seated at one table so Liam was surrounded by all his friends, their dates, and of course Zayn right beside him. Liam had his arm slung over the back of Zayn’s chair and was rubbing gentle circles into his shoulder as they all listened to Tom recount some story of the time he had been partying in L.A. and woke up in Mexico. Liam already knew the story and he instead kept his gaze towards Zayn who was laughing along with everyone else at the details of Tom’s story. Zayn turned towards Liam mid-laugh and when he saw Liam watching him he gave him a confused smile. Liam grinned shaking his head and pressed a kiss to Zayn’s temple.

 

“Tom the details of your story are very hazy. I swear every time you tell it to us there’s five new details added.” Liam said.

 

“You’re just bitter you weren’t there Liam. You’re extremely bitter that your life isn’t half as interesting as mine.” Tom retorted.

 

“If that helps you sleep at night, then sure.” Liam grinned.

 

“Liam has outlived us all Tom, you must be fucking delirious.” Niall laughed.

 

“Name one way in which way he has? Other than getting more ass than us all, which is mostly thanks to his celebrity status, what other way has he outlived us all?” Tom asked.

 

“Well I think his net-worth, whirlwind of two different careers and conquests all over the world all before the age of 27 beg to differ.” That was Zayn. Zayn had said that.

 

Everyone, Liam included, all turned to the boy a little surprised. Zayn looked pale realizing he had blurted out something unexpected and now the whole table was looking at him.

 

Everyone burst out laughing and Tom broke out into a grin. “I like you. You have talent at dragging people. We’ll be great friends.”

 

Liam chuckled and pulled Zayn closer to himself and kissed his cheek. Zayn was still bright red and he just melted into Liam’s side.

 

“I like him better than all those other fools you’ve dated. Not like I can remember half of them. But definitely much better than Adrian.” Tom grinned

 

Liam felt Zayn stiffen beside him and he gave a stony look to Tom who obviously didn’t notice.

 

“And Alycia. God is she a nightmare.” Niall chimed in also oblivious to Zayn’s discomfort and Liam’s glare.

 

“Nobody beats that blonde Victoria Secret’s model whatever her name was. She was the perfect example of an all American dumb blonde. Whose career was bought for her by daddy.” Kaushal laughed from where he sat beside Niall.

 

“Guys shut-“ Liam started.

 

“Nahhh. None of you shared a wall with him like I did in our frat house. At one time he was dating a sorority girl and also hooking up with one of our frat brothers. They were both really wild and one time they all had a threesome and I had to hear the two of them begging for Liam to fuck them harder, fucking hell.” Niall made a horrified face.

 

The others started laughing too and Liam was about to tell them to shut up when he felt Zayn bolt up from his seat. Liam looked up at him and noticed Zayn was pale and his eyes looked distressed.

 

“I need a drink or something…” He just turned and walked away from the table.

 

“Can you guys ever shut the fuck up?” Liam asked angrily.

 

“Seriously guys how fucking stupid are you? Zayn was obviously looking super uncomfortable by you discussing Liam’s exes and you didn’t even notice?” Josie, Tom’s date, glared at all the guys.

 

“Ah fuck. Shit Liam. I’m sorry. Should I go apologize?” Tom asked looking apologetic.

 

“No.” Liam said and got up from his seat to go after Zayn.

 

Liam went over to the bar and noticed that Zayn was just standing there on the side not even ordering anything. He looked upset and was just gazing across at the dance floor where most of the wedding guests had started dancing. Liam went up to Zayn and stopped in front of him. Zayn looked up and gave Liam a small smile. Liam moved forward and took both of Zayn’s hands into his own and squeezed them.

 

“My friends are unfortunately a bunch of idiots and they don’t know when to shut the fuck up.” Liam sighed.

 

“It’s ok Liam. I just…” Zayn said nervously. “I know that eventually you want to have sex with me-“

 

“Zayn-“ Liam started.

 

“Just. Let me…” Zayn looked at Liam desperately.

 

“Ok baby. Go on.” Liam kissed Zayn’s hands and waited for him to continue.

 

“I- I want to as well. I want you to be my first.” Zayn whispered and looked down.

 

“Baby,” Liam said feeling overwhelmed with the amount of trust Zayn was putting into him. Liam felt so overcome with emotion for this gentle hazel eyed boy, he wanted to pull Zayn into his arms and never let go.

 

“I’ve always said I wanted to wait till I was in love or with the right person. And you are… you’re the right person. You- you’re so amazing Liam. But I feel like… I feel like you have all this experience, you’ve been with so many people… you’ve even had threesomes and I’ve done nothing. You were my first kiss Liam… and that’s the only experience I have… nothing else… nothing sexual. I’ll be a disappointment. And then maybe you’ll realize you don’t want me anymore.” Tears were springing to Zayn’s eyes and Liam quickly pulled him into a hug. Liam kissed all over the surface of Zayn’s face that was visible and he held onto him tightly.

 

“Baby. Do you remember what I said about how everyone I see since I’ve met you is in black and white and you’re the only colour I see?” Liam asked and Zayn nodded against his chest.

 

“Well every single one of my previous sexual experiences is now black and white for me. I don’t care about them. They mean nothing to me. _You_ will be special because what you make me feel is nothing anyone else has ever made me feel before. The fact that you’re putting all this trust into me is enough to blow my mind. But my sweet bambi eyed baby, sex with you would blow every single one of those nights out the water. You know why? Because it’ll be with you. You Zayn. _You_ are going to be what makes it so damn special to me.” Liam rubbed Zayn’s back and pressed a lingering kiss to the crown of his head.

 

“When you say things like that I literally die.” Zayn mumbled.

 

“You _literally_ die?” Liam teased and pinched Zayn’s side.

 

“Yes.” Zayn smiled back. He wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I trust you. I believe you.” Zayn whispered.

 

“Really?” Liam asked.

 

Zayn nodded and Liam leaned his head down to Zayn’s level to kiss him. They stayed pressed together for so long just lazily kissing each other with Zayn pressed up against the bar and Liam in front of him. The beginning music of John Legend’s ‘Tonight’ started playing and Liam moved back and grinned at Zayn.

 

“Wanna dance? This is one of my favourite songs.” Liam said.

 

“Mine too. But I can’t dance.” Zayn said nervously.

 

“I beg to differ Mr. You got me walking side to side.” Liam smirked at Zayn who flushed deeply. “Come on.” Liam grabbed Zayn’s hand and led him onto the dance floor.

 

It was at that point in the night where the reception was mostly over, most of the guests had left, and the remaining bunch were gathered on the dance floor ready to party late into the night. It was dark in the room, the only lights coming from the candles and dimmed lanterns. People were dancing intimately with partners or in large groups of friends. As the beginning lyrics started, Liam turned towards Zayn and pulled him into his chest so their foreheads were connected.

 

_‘Aint this what you came for. Don’t you wish came, oh. Girl what you’re playing for... Ah, come on. Come on let me kiss that, Ooh I know you miss that. What’s wrong let me fix that. Twist that’_

Liam kept his intense gaze locked on Zayn and softly sang along to the lyrics. He could tell that the implication behind the words made Zayn flush and Zayn was smiling at Liam nervously. The beat was fast and Liam spun Zayn around and pulled him back so Zayn’s back was lined up with Liam’s front. Liam ran his lips along Zayn’s ear and neck singing the words. Zayn shuddered in Liam’s arms and Liam could tell he had his eyes closed. Liam knew Zayn felt nervous so he decided to make this easier for him. In one quick motion Liam twirled Zayn out and grinned at him. Liam gripped Zayn’s hips and started dancing in front of him as Zayn just stood mostly frozen.

 

“Follow my lead baby,” Liam said as the chorus started.

 

_‘Baby tonight’s the night I let you know. Baby tonight’s the night we lose control. Baby, tonight you need that, tonight believe that. Tonight I’ll be the best you ever had.’_

Liam kept the grinding a little toned down as he pulled Zayn into his body and sang along the lyrics of the chorus while grinning at Zayn. As Liam sang ‘best you’ve ever had’ he pointed directly at Zayn and noticed him suck in a breath and gaze at Liam with wide innocent eyes.

 

_‘I don’t wanna brag, but I’ll be the best you’ve ever had.’_

Liam smirked at Zayn and pressed little kisses to Zayn’s neck as he said those words. Zayn let out a soft whimper that only Liam heard through the music. Liam took Zayn’s hand and kissed it then walked back further into the middle of the dance floor. Many people who noticed them yelled ‘Payno!’ and cheered for Liam who grinned but kept his gaze on Zayn. Most of the people moved back to give them space in the middle of the floor. Zayn looked nervous but Liam mouthed ‘follow me’ to him.

 

_‘I hit you with the best stroke, freestyle and the breaststroke, till you blow a cigarette smoke. And now the bed’s broke. So what we gon’ do now? Fuck it round two now. Work it out, then we cool down. Cool down.’_

Liam danced up to Zayn and pulled him closer. He moved down Zayn’s body then up again. He smiled at him and spun him around. Zayn was feeling more relaxed and he laughed. Liam kept his arms wrapped around Zayn’s body as they moved to the beat and he sang the lyrics into his ear. As the chorus started again Liam spun Zayn around till he was giggling and then he pulled a dizzy Zayn into his arms and this time Zayn joined Liam in singing along to ‘I’ll be the best you’ve ever had.’

 

As Ludacris’ part started more people joined them in the circle in the middle of the dance floor and danced along. Liam kept his focus solely on Zayn who was completely relaxed and happy now. He was following along with every one of Liam’s moves and singing the lyrics as well. As the chorus was playing one last time Liam moved a few steps back from Zayn and signalled him to come closer. Zayn looked shocked for a few seconds then he grinned and walked towards Liam, he sped up in the last few steps and jumped into Liam’s arms. Liam spun Zayn around who balanced himself with his hands on Liam’s shoulders and laughed out loud. As Liam slowly lowered Zayn, his body dragging against every inch of Liam’s, the mood between them intensified. Zayn looked down at Liam breathlessly as Liam looked up at Zayn feeling heat pooling in his lower abdomen and his blood start to rush south. Zayn’s eyes were wide and sparkling and his heart was beating so fast, Liam could feel it against his own chest. Every particle of his being wanted this boy so badly Liam felt like he was close to exploding. Zayn’s smaller body trembling in his arms was causing Liam to feel light headed. Liam held back a groan and gazed at Zayn.

 

“Best I’ve ever had?” Zayn asked breathlessly his eyes asking an innocent question but desperately seeking an answer.

 

“Best you’ve ever had baby.” Liam said in a low tone.

 

“But you’d be the only I’ve ever had.” Zayn whispered.

 

“And nothing will ever compare. No matter where you go, who you meet, what you do. I’ll have left a mark on you that no one will ever be able to replace or erase.” Liam said and watched Zayn bite his lip at those words.

 

Zayn’s eyes were showing how much of an inner battle his heart and mind were fighting, then he finally took a deep breath.

 

“T- take me back to your place Liam. Please.” Zayn said his voice on the edge on desperation.

 

“Let’s go.” Liam wasted no time in grabbing Zayn’s hand and leading him away from the dance floor where a slow romantic number was now playing and all the couples had found each other to sway slowly to the music.

 

**

 

Zayn had gone to the bathroom as Liam said goodnight to the bride and groom. Zayn had also congratulated them then gone to quickly splash some water on his face to try and calm himself down. Zayn took a few deep breaths and patted his face dry. He looked at himself in the mirror and took slow breaths to calm myself. Once he felt like his heartbeat had slowed down, he exited the bathroom. As Zayn walked towards the exit where Liam had been, he was suddenly grabbed by the arm and yanked to the left. Zayn was about to scream when a hand clamped over his mouth and he looked up terrified to see it was only Liam. Zayn breathed a sigh of relief and looked into Liam’s eyes. They were dark with desire and hunger. Liam slowly removed his hand and replaced it with his mouth. He kissed Zayn hungrily and ran his hands down Zayn’s body slowly. He reached Zayn’s ass and squeezed it tightly and Zayn moaned into Liam’s mouth. He grinded forward involuntarily and Liam tightened his hands on Zayn’s hips. They kissed passionately for a few more seconds till Liam finally pulled back and looked at him breathlessly.

 

“The car’s here. Let’s go.” Zayn felt dazed as Liam grabbed a hold of his hand and led him towards the exit. It was raining outside and as they made their way into the car, they got lightly soaked. Once they were in the backseat of the car Liam knocked on the partition to let the driver know they were ready to go. Zayn watched Liam breathlessly as he leaned back and gazed steadily at Zayn.

 

“It’s raining. Like it was in Paris.” Zayn said looking at Liam feeling like his body was about to burst into fireworks.

 

“Like in Paris.” Liam replied sounding more calm than Zayn felt.

 

Zayn didn’t know what came over him, and in the years to come he’ll always remain shocked that he acted so boldly. But he moved in one quick motion and straddled Liam. Obviously, he wasn’t as smooth and he stumbled a little but Liam quickly gripped his hips and stabilized him.

 

“Steady baby.” Liam murmured although his voice had dropped a few octaves.

 

Zayn let out an embarrassing whine and quickly latched his mouth onto Liam. Zayn felt so much desperation in his body and he tried to translate it through his actions. He knew if he tried to talk he would stammer and sound nervous, so he poured every bit of his soul into the kiss to let Liam know how much he wanted him, needed him. Liam was kissing him back just as hungrily and Zayn started grinding his hips down seeking- something, anything. Liam groaned at the way Zayn was moving his hips and his lips. Zayn could feel Liam growing hard against his ass, that was grinding down relentlessly. Zayn knew he was embarrassingly hard himself as well. Liam gripped Zayn’s ass hard enough to leave marks and that thought alone made Zayn moan out loud. Liam was now kissing down his throat and his hands were on Zayn’s buttons. Zayn’s mind was screaming ‘yes, yes, yes’ but before anything could happen the car stopped and the driver knocked on the partition. Zayn pulled back panting and looked at Liam.

 

Liam pressed a quick kiss to Zayn’s lips then pulled open the car door and helped Zayn out. As they hurried into the lobby of Liam’s building they got soaked thoroughly. The lobby was empty and as Liam pressed the button to the elevator it opened up immediately. Liam helped Zayn in with a hand to his back. Then as Zayn leaned against one wall, Liam walked over to the other side to punch in a security code to make the elevator take them to his penthouse. As the elevator started moving up Liam turned to look at him. Just like in Paris, a soaked Liam was one heavenly sight for Zayn. He took Liam in knowing he was still panting a little bit. Liam was assessing Zayn with dark eyes as well. Then as if something snapped at once in the elevator they both moved quickly towards each other at the same time. Meeting in the middle, their mouths clashed together. Liam wasted no time in grabbing Zayn’s ass and hoisting him up. Liam slammed Zayn against the elevator wall and Zayn groaned into Liam’s mouth. Their mouths met over and over again hungrily and Liam grabbed Zayn’s arms and pinned them above his head. Liam was nipping on Zayn’s jaw when the elevator opened up. Instead of setting Zayn down, Liam carried him out still kissing his neck. Zayn was whimpering uncontrollably as Liam walked through his small foyer and unlocked his front door with a security code. Still holding Zayn up, and kissing with fire, Liam walked them into his dark penthouse and walked towards the direction of the living room. Zayn only vaguely remembered the layout form this morning and registered they were in the living room only when he saw the outline of the sofas. Liam slammed him against the large floor to ceiling glass windows and went back to kissing Zayn with sheer hunger.

 

Fire and ice. Hot and cold. Panic and excitement. Everything. All at once. Everything was colliding and bursting on impact. Zayn could feel every atom in his body screaming for release. For something to put out the fire burning in his gut and raging through his body. Liam bit at the junction of Zayn’s neck and Zayn cried out and his legs squeezed around Liam’s waist tighter. His hands were buried in Liam’s thick hair and his head was thrown back against the glass windows with his eyes closed. The way Liam was sucking on the skin of his neck made him want to scream in pleasure. He felt like he would explode. Their wet clothes were rubbing between their bodies and the friction was causing shocks of heat. Zayn couldn’t see anything. The apartment was all dark. The only source of light was the moonlight shining in through the massive floor to ceiling glass windows. And the trails of rain moving down the glass were glinting in the moonlight. Zayn felt a squeeze on his hip and he gasped and looked at Liam

 

Fuck. Liam’s eyes were dark and desire was raging in them. He was breathing heavily as he looked straight at Zayn. What he wanted was written so clearly on his face. And by God; Zayn wanted to give it to him. Zayn wanted it all so _so_ bad.

 

“What do you want baby? Tell me what you want.” Liam’s voice was thick like honey and dripping with the intoxication of the champagne they had been drinking all evening.

 

“Y- you. You Liam. God. More than anything.” Zayn whimpered and clutched so tightly at Liam afraid that if he let go, Liam would disappear.

 

Liam pushed Zayn more further into the window and squeezed his thin hips even more harshly.

 

“ _What_ do you want from me? You need to say it.” Liam said in a low growl and nipped at Zayn’s earlobe.

 

Zayn shook violently in Liam’s arms and swallowed harshly. He wanted Liam to just do it already. To ravish him and destroy him, mind and body. But he couldn’t fucking say the words.

 

“Baby boy.” Liam said and nipped at Zayn on his jawline. “You need to say it or I won’t do anything. I’ll take you home-“

 

“N-no!” Zayn hurried out breathlessly and tightened his arms and legs around Liam. Zayn took in a deep breath and ran his hand down Liam’s chest. He tangled his hand around Liam’s tie and dropped his face into Liam’s neck.

 

“Do it.” Zayn said in a small desperate voice.

 

“Do what?” Liam prompted as he dropped heated kisses along Zayn’s neck. “Do _what_ baby?”

 

“It. Liam. It. Do it… to me...” Zayn cried out desperation running hot in his veins.

 

Liam suddenly moved back. His hand was in Zayn’s hair and he pulled it back. Zayn let out an involuntary moan at the roughness, secretly loving it. Liam smirked and gripped Zayn’s chin in his hand tightly.

 

“You need to say it baby boy or I won’t do anything.” Liam murmured. He leaned forward and attached his lips to Zayn’s in a hot, searing kiss. Zayn moaned and opened his mouth automatically to let Liam’s tongue invade his mouth. Liam was running his tongue inside Zayn’s mouth so perfectly, when he suddenly pulled back. Zayn let out a whimper and blinked his eyes open to look at Liam. Liam was looking at Zayn which such sheer hunger Zayn felt like he might burn to death with his body so overheated. Fuck he was dying.

 

“Liam please,” Zayn whispered feeling so desperate.

 

“I could wreck you baby. Just fucking ruin you. All you have to do is say the words.” Liam murmured and pressed a thumb to Zayn’s swollen lips.

 

Zayn choked out another cry and gazed back at Liam desperately. He wanted this man so badly he felt his body screaming in agony to just give himself over to Liam. To just get fucking shattered and then slowly put back together. He needed Liam. He needed Liam to fucking ruin him.

 

“F- fuck Liam,” Zayn stammered. “Fuck.” Zayn drew in a breath as Liam move forward and pressed his forehead against Zayn’s as his hands moved down towards Zayn’s ass, very slowly.

 

“Fuck what?” Liam asked in slow drawl as he ran his tongue along Zayn’s neck. It was probably his life’s mission to torture Zayn till he gave out and died.

 

“Fuck,” Zayn whined desperately. “Fuck _me._ Fuck _me_ Liam. Please fuck me.” Zayn whimpered out all hesitation tossed out the very window behind his back.

 

Unexpectedly, Liam stopped all his torturous actions and lowered Zayn to the ground very slowly. Zayn leaned back against the glass window panting heavily, knowing he looked like a fucked out mess despite nothing happening yet. Liam took one step back from Zayn, and keeping his dark gaze locked on Zayn’s, he slowly pulled off his tie. Without breaking any eye contact, he tossed his tie off to the side then slowly rolled up his sleeves. Zayn gulped in heavy anticipation. The silence around them was deafening and Zayn could hear the heavy thudding of his own heart. Suddenly, nothing mattered anymore because Liam moved forward in one quick motion and spun Zayn around and pressed him into the glass face first, looking outwards at the city lights through the rain splashed windows. Zayn gasped out in shock, feeling hot desire at the rough action. He closed his eyes and let out a soft moan at the feeling of Liam’s hard on pressing against his backside. Liam grabbed Zayn’s hands from his sides and pinned them up against the glass. He dropped his head to the level of Zayn’s and took Zayn’s earlobe between his teeth. After sucking on it he pressed a kiss to the back of Zayn’s ear then leaned forward to whisper the words that had arousal rip through Zayn’s trembling body.

 

“You have no fucking idea baby boy, how long I’ve waited to hear those words.”

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT CUS MY GODDDD THAT WAS MY LONGEST CHAPTER YET AND I THINK I HAVE CARPAL TUNNEL LMAO. Also yes I left it right when they were about to have sex but don't worry you'll see it in the next chapter and this chap had so much content I hope you liked it (and that you like me as well?). Let me know what you thought in the comments, tumblr, or twitter. 
> 
> Urdu words:  
> -Majnu: a term used to say 'romeo' (he was real person in love with a woman named laila and their story is like romeo juliet)  
> -Aashiq: a person who is madly in love with someone else, like obsession kind of love  
> -chicken karahi: a type of chicken curry/dish


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So here's chapter 7 with the smut finally happening :) Thank you all for being so patient with the slow burn in the first 6 chapters. And thank you for leaving me so many wonderful messages here and on tumblr or twitter! I love you all. Also I've never written smut before and I've been super nervous about this, if you don't like it I'm really sorry it's my first time with smut. I do hope you enjoy it though :) 
> 
> P.S. urdu words translated at end as always :)

 

 

Liam knew he needed to calm down. He was out of his depth here with Zayn. Liam’s instincts were screaming at him to just ravish the boy, but he knew he needed to slow down. This was Zayn’s first time and the boy deserved slow and gentle passion. While Zayn seemed to get turned on by Liam’s roughness as well, he knew the boy needed to be unraveled slowly. Zayn was breathing heavily pressed up against the glass, while simultaneously letting out small whimpers as Liam kissed his neck.

 

“A-are you going to do it here? Against the window?” Zayn asked voice breathless and edging on desperation.

 

Liam moved back and glanced at Zayn’s blurry reflection in the mirror, and his warm, trembling body trapped between Liam’s arms.

 

“One day baby. One day I promise I’ll fuck you against these windows but for today…” Liam quickly scooped Zayn up into his arms who gasped.

 

Liam pressed his lips to Zayn’s who relaxed in Liam’s arms and wrapped his own arms around Liam’s neck. He was letting out soft sighs into the kiss as Liam started walking towards the stairs. The boy was so innocently unaware of how the smallest sounds he made were bringing Liam close to the point of exploding. Liam went up the stairs to his second floor as quickly as possible without breaking his lips away from Zayn’s who was squirming in Liam’s arms from the intensity of the kiss.

 

When Liam got to his bedroom he kicked open the door and walked towards the bed. When he got to the foot of the bed he stopped and set Zayn onto the floor. Zayn was breathing raggedly and looking up at Liam with wide eyes. His hands were trembling by his sides and he had them clenched into fists. Overall he looked so nervous yet thrumming with want that Liam felt his mind start to get hazy. Liam was used to partners who knew what they wanted and sex was always a mess of clothes ripping, mouths clashing, bodies grinding, nail marks down the back and loud screams. But Zayn was different. Standing in front of Liam, trembling in his wet clothes, his golden eyes full of lust and nervousness, his breaths coming out shallowly, the moonlight creating a beautiful glow on his face, he looked so angelic yet sinful.

 

“Come here baby,” Liam murmured and Zayn slowly walked forward into Liam’s arms.

 

Liam tightened his arms around Zayn who shivered and melted into Liam’s touch. Zayn had his face pressed to Liam’s chest and was clutching fistfuls of Liam’s shirt. Liam knew Zayn was anxious because his trembling wasn’t just from his wet clothes but also from the nerves. Liam pressed kisses to the crown of Zayn’s head then drew back slowly. He cupped Zayn’s face and ran his thumb along the delicate skin of Zayn’s under-eye. Zayn closed his eyes and his eyelashes fluttered against his cheekbones.

 

“You okay?” Liam asked.

 

Zayn nodded and opened his eyes to look up at Liam.

 

“Just a little nervous,” Zayn said softly. “I- I don’t wanna mess this up.”

 

“You won’t baby. You never could.” Liam said and peppered kisses to Zayn’s entire face then kisses him tenderly on his soft lips.

 

“O- okay. What… what do I do?” Zayn peered up at Liam looking worried.  

 

Liam smiled feeling so much fond for this beautiful boy stood in front of him. His innocence at the whole situation made Liam’s heart threaten to burst from his chest. It made him want to spend all night undoing Zayn until all his nervousness washed away.

 

“Can I?” Liam asked touching the front of Zayn’s shirt where his buttons were. Liam knew Zayn would be feeling an immense amount of anxiety right now and he needed to make sure the boy was comfortable with everything.

 

Zayn nodded slowly and Liam gave him a smile and a kiss. Liam slowly started to unbutton Zayn’s black dress shirt that was damp from the rain. Zayn breathing became faster the more buttons Liam opened up. When they were all open, Liam ran the tips of his fingers down Zayn’s chest to his stomach and Zayn’s body shuddered and broke out into goosebumps. Liam peeled the rest of the shirt off and dropped it to the side. Zayn was looking at him with so much sheer want, but his body still seemed tense. Liam pressed a kiss to his lips then started trailing kisses down his throat and chest. Zayn gasped out as Liam kissed his way down his torso while running his hands along his sides. Then Liam knelt on the ground in front of him and Zayn sucked in a breath. Liam kissed him right above the waistband of his pants. As Zayn gazed down at him with wide eyes, Liam took off Zayn’s shoes and socks with gentle hands and pressed kisses to each foot. Then he finally reached for Zayn’s belt and looked up at him.

 

“Okay baby?” Liam asked.

 

“Okay.” Zayn said, his voice cracking.

 

Liam smiled and took off Zayn’s belt then reached for the button to his pants. Zayn let out a shaky breath and kept looking at Liam a little uncertainly. Seeing no hesitation in him, Liam opened the button to Zayn’s pants and slowly pulled the zipper down. Zayn clutched onto Liam’s shoulders as Liam slowly peeled his pants down. Once they dropped around Zayn’s ankles, Liam took each foot out and pressed a kiss to each ankle. He tossed the pants to the side as well then looked up at Zayn. Liam almost came on the spot just by looking at the boy. Zayn stood in just his black briefs and he was looking at Liam, his golden eyes full of wonder and so much apprehension. His cheeks were tinted pink and his hands trembled from where he clutched at Liam’s shoulders still. He looked so vulnerable and Liam wanted to pull him into his arms. Liam ran his hands up the soft skin of Zayn’s legs and grabbed his hips. He gave them a squeeze and started kissing along Zayn’s legs. Slow torturous little kisses that had Zayn’s legs shaking and him whimpering a little. Liam moved forward and pressed his lips right over the very mole he kissed in Paris and hadn’t stopped thinking about. Such a small thing, but to Liam it was the cause of some vivid dreams these past few days. It was on such an intimate part of Zayn’s body and Liam knew he was the only one to have ever seen it, touch it, kiss it and it made his body rage with possessiveness.

 

“L- Liam,” Zayn whimpered as Liam kissed and nipped on the skin over and around the mole.

 

“Baby…” Liam murmured.

 

Liam moved away and looked up at Zayn. Then he trailed his fingers up Zayn’s inner thigh and edged his way up Zayn’s briefs and trailed his fingers lightly over the noticeable hard-on in Zayn’s briefs. Zayn jerked and gasped out loud as Liam kissed right over the very spot.

 

“Oh God,” Zayn stuttered out.

 

If the boy was this reactive to a light touch over his briefs what the fuck would happen when Liam had him naked and spread out? Liam could feel his own cock throb just thinking about it.

 

“C- can I?” Zayn trailed his fingers along Liam’s shirt and blinked at Liam.

 

Liam got up from the ground and stood in front of Zayn again. Liam gathered both of Zayn’s hands into his own and kissed them then placed them on his own chest.

“Go ahead baby.” Liam said and pulled Zayn closer to himself.

 

Zayn shakily started to unbutton Liam’s shirt but when his trembling hands were having difficulty, Liam stopped Zayn and pulled him into a kiss to ease his nerves. Zayn sighed into the kiss and his body relaxed a little. Liam unbuttoned the rest of his own shirt then pushed it off and he saw Zayn gulp as he took in Liam’s shirtless torso. Liam ran his hands down Zayn’s body and cupped his ass and squeezed it before capturing Zayn’s lips in another kiss. While exploring Zayn’s mouth with his tongue Liam took the opportunity to kick his own shoes off and take off his belt. Liam started kissing along Zayn’s jaw as he unbuttoned his own pants. Liam pushed his pants down and kicked them away with his socks as well. He was left in his boxer briefs. Zayn seemed to be taking in Liam’s mostly naked body head to toe and he was trembling again.

 

“Zayn.” Liam said and pulled him towards himself.

 

Their mouths met in a hot kiss and Zayn moaned into it. Liam grabbed the backs of Zayn’s thighs and hoisted him up easily. Zayn wrapped his legs around Liam’s waist and moaned softly when their hard dicks brushed against each other, only separated by the boxer-briefs. Liam got onto the bed on his knees with Zayn still wrapped around him, and moved forward on his knees while kissing Zayn deeply. He came to a stop in the middle of the bed and lowered Zayn down into his lap. They were facing each other, breathing shallow, and the air full of electricity. Liam noticed Zayn was biting his lip and blinking at Liam, unsure of what to do.

 

Liam trailed his fingers across Zayn’s collarbones and down his chest. When his fingers brushed over Zayn’s nipple, the boy let out a small gasp and his eyes fluttered shut. Liam pressed his lips to Zayn’s open mouth and licked his way inside while slowly lowering Zayn to lay down against the bed. Liam took a second to take in the image of Zayn below him, lying against the bed taking shaky breaths and looking at Liam with eyes full of desire. Liam felt his own arousal ripping through him but he took a moment to lean back on his knees from where he was positioned above Zayn. Liam trailed his fingers down the soft and goosebumps ridden skin of Zayn’s body and watched as the boy squirmed and whimpered slightly.

 

“L-Liam…” Zayn said.

 

“You’re so fucking beautiful baby. Just so beautiful…” Liam took in Zayn’s golden skin, free of any marks, blemishes or any tattoos. It was like a like a flawless canvas waiting to be marked up and covered in the art of kisses and love bites.

 

“Kind of want to mess you up a little… do all these things to you… “ Liam murmured feeling his own body heat up and rage with the need to take Zayn and do whatever he wanted.

 

“L- Like?” Zayn whispered.

 

“Like…” Liam ran his hands along the length of Zayn’s arms then took his fine-boned wrists in his hands and pinned them beside Zayn’s head.

 

Liam started kissing along Zayn’s neck and sucking on it. He nipped on the spot he knew Zayn was extra sensitive and when he heard the boy gasp he continued his intense sucking. When he moved back he saw a red love bite and he pressed his finger against it. The amount of possessiveness Liam was feeling as time went on was out of control. He just wanted to mark Zayn up and let everyone see and realize that Liam had done that. That _only_ Liam could do that to Zayn. Liam continued kissing his way down Zayn’s body, worshipping it a slow pace. Zayn kept squirming and letting out soft moans. Liam eventually grabbed his sides to get the boy to stay in one place. When he reached Zayn’s waist he felt him inhale sharply. Liam hooked his fingers into Zayn’s briefs and looked up at him. Liam knew his own eyes must be dark and that his face must be reflecting his raging want for the boy below him. Zayn was looking at Liam with hazy eyes. His lips were bitten red and his cheeks flushed. His perfect quiff from earlier had been fucked up completely and now his raven locks created a halo around his head. He painted such a delicious picture that Liam groaned and pressed the heel of his hand onto his own throbbing cock. Zayn’s eyes widened as he looked at Liam pressing down on his dick.

 

“You still good baby?” Liam asked.

 

Zayn nodded and Liam slid Zayn’s briefs down slightly to expose his hipbones and the slight trail of hair going down. Liam ducked his head to kiss across from one hipbone to the other. He then started running his tongue along Zayn’s v-line and at that point Zayn whimpered and his body twisted in Liam’s hold.

 

“Stay still baby.” Liam said glancing up at Zayn who bit his lip and nodded slowly.

 

Liam continued to run his tongue along the grooves of Zayn’s pelvis and held him down tightly by his hips. When Zayn continued to whimper softly Liam started to feel like his head was filled with thick smoke. He really needed the last piece of cloth between them to be gone as well. Liam rubbed his hand along Zayn’s thigh and kissed him below his belly button.

 

“Can I take these off?” Liam asked Zayn.

 

Zayn paused for a second and blinked down at Liam unsure. The he gulped and nodded. Liam pressed a few kisses on Zayn’s stomach then hooked his fingers into Zayn’s briefs and slowly pulled them down. Zayn’s cock sprung out as Liam peeled the briefs down Zayn’s legs. Zayn choked out an embarrassed sound and reached down automatically to cover himself. Liam grabbed Zayn’s hand and moved it away. Zayn stared at him as Liam ran his thumb across the tip of Zayn’s dick. It was hard and painfully red. The boy’s briefs had been soaked at the front and his cock had beads of pre-cum at the tip. Liam ran his thumb along it then brought it to his mouth and licked it. As Zayn whimpered looking at him, Liam grinned and brought his hand down to start slowly stroking Zayn.

 

“You have a pretty dick baby. That should have been expected considering how pretty the rest of you is.” Liam said in a low voice and Zayn choked out a small sound and threw his arm over his eyes.

 

“L-Liam when you say things like that…” Zayn stammered out.

 

“Do you trust me baby? Because there’s something I’ve been wanting to do since I had you in the back of my car.” Liam said with a squeeze to Zayn’s hip.

 

Zayn lifted his arm and nodded shakily at Liam.

 

“Good.” Liam kissed Zayn’s slack mouth quickly then swooped down to be level with Zayn’s cock and lowered his mouth onto it in one quick motion.

 

Zayn cried out at the sudden movement and his legs jerked up around Liam’s head.

 

“Liam!” Zayn was writhing underneath him, his hands clutching tightly at the sheets.

 

Liam grinned around Zayn’s cock. The boy’s reactions were driving Liam wild and his own cock was painfully hard but he wanted to watch Zayn slowly come undone with his mouth. He had been waiting to taste the boy for so long and it was just as Liam had imagined. Liam continued licking Zayn’s dick from the base to the head as the boy trembled beneath him, his pleasure obviously taking over his body. Liam’s mouth was filled with the bitter taste of Zayn’s pre-cum but he was enjoying it. Zayn’s taste was something he would never be able to get enough of now.

 

“Oh God! L- Liam your mouth!” Zayn cried out his hands coming down to grab at Liam’s hair.

 

Liam smiled and raised Zayn’s legs to drape them over his shoulders then he lowered his head to take the boy’s throbbing cock into his mouth again.

 

“Stay still baby or I’ll leave you like this.” Liam murmured then continued his actions.

 

“F- fuck… Liam oh my god I think I-“ Zayn was stammering and pushing at Liam’s shoulders frantically but it was too late because he came in Liam’s mouth.

 

Liam was surprised but he didn’t remove his mouth despite Zayn squirming, near tears below him. Liam swallowed then licked the length of Zayn’s dick once more. He smirked up at Zayn who looked slightly horrified and his eyes were blinking uncontrollably.

 

“Damn baby. Was I that good?” Liam chuckled.

 

Zayn’s chin was trembling and out of nowhere tears started spilling down his cheeks. Liam felt stunned not knowing what overcame Zayn and he sat up quickly pulling Zayn into his lap.

 

“Baby! What happened?” Liam asked concerned and stroked Zayn’s hair.

 

The boy was silently trembling in his arms and Liam could feel Zayn’s tears on his own chest where he had his face buried.

 

“Zayn… baby what happened?” Liam asked in a soothing voice.

 

“I- I’m sorry I lost control and came so quickly. That was so embarrassing. I didn’t even last two minutes I- you must think I’m an idiot.” Zayn said through his tears.

 

“Fuck… I don’t think that. Zayn…” Liam moved Zayn back and kissed across his salty tear tracks.

 

“Zayn that was your first blow job… of course it was a new sensation and you couldn’t hold yourself back. I’m so happy I was the one to give you this first experience. And besides baby, we’ve all been there. I got my first blow job when I was 13 and I came under one minute too.” Liam laughed and kissed Zayn’s forehead.

 

“13? You’re a little bit of a slut…” Zayn said softly smiling at Liam.

 

Liam felt a grin spread across his own face. This boy’s smile was an enigma.

 

“I am a bit of a slut…” Liam laughed and kissed Zayn’s soft lips.

 

Zayn sighed into the kiss and ran his hands along Liam’s chest.

 

“But Liam… I- I ruined it… you didn’t get to umm... like um… fuck… me… and I already came and you…” Zayn looked down at Liam’s very obvious hard-on in his briefs.

 

Liam swiftly pinned Zayn down against the bed and crawled over him. Once his face was right above Zayn’s he smirked down at him.

 

“You think I can’t get you to come again baby boy?” Liam asked.

 

“I- I…” Zayn stammered.

 

“I could make you come five times in one night. You’d be sensitive and begging for me to stop but I’d keeping going until I didn’t get another orgasm out of you.” Liam said and nipped Zayn’s earlobe.

 

Zayn shuddered below him and Liam ran his hands down Zayn’s body as he kissed along Zayn’s jawline. Once his hands got to Zayn’s ass he squeezed it gently then moved back.

“Turn onto your stomach baby.” Liam said and kissed Zayn.

 

“Why?” Zayn asked with wide eyes.

 

“Do you still trust me?” Liam asked and stroked Zayn’s face.

 

“Always…” Zayn said.

 

“Turn around.” Liam tapped Zayn’s hip.

 

Zayn slowly turned onto his stomach and Liam held back a groan. Zayn’s back was curved and smooth and it tapered down into his small waist and below that was his perky ass. Liam gave his own dick a squeeze to give himself some relief as he took in Zayn’s small but rounded ass. The smooth skin was screaming at Liam to be marked up.

 

“Fucking beautiful,” Liam murmured and ran his hand down Zayn’s back and stopped right above his ass.

 

He noticed Zayn was trembling again and his breathing sounding shallow. Liam squeezed Zayn’s ass in both his hands then leaned down and pressed a kiss to the base of his spine.

 

“Wh- what are you going to do?” Zayn asked innocently.

 

“Trust me?” Liam repeated.

 

“Always.” Zayn whispered.

 

“Good.” Liam murmured.

 

Liam kissed Zayn right above his ass then he trailed little kisses down and kissed Zayn on each cheek. He couldn’t hold back and bit Zayn right on the round of his cheek. Zayn jerked a little but the moan he let out indicated to Liam that he liked it. Liam grinned and continued kissing Zayn all over the round of his ass letting the boy adjust to what was about to happen. When Zayn was just a mess of whimpers and soft sighs Liam spread his ass cheeks. He felt Zayn freeze up.

 

“Li-“ Zayn started but Liam leaned forward and licked a long line between Zayn’s spread cheeks.

 

“Liam!” Zayn screamed out and jerked suddenly.

 

Liam moved back and looked up at Zayn’s face. The boy’s face was twisted in shock but immense pleasure. His eyes were dark and hazy as he looked at Liam, panting. Liam grinned then ducked his head to lick the same spot.

 

“Fuck fuck fuck!!” Zayn cried out and gripped the sheets beside him so tightly his knuckles were white.

 

“Sweet like I expected.” Liam murmured and kissed Zayn’s fluttering hole.

 

“You say such filthy things...” Zayn stuttered and looked at Liam over his shoulder with his mouth agape.

 

“You’ve heard nothing yet baby boy.” Liam smirked and nipped at Zayn’s ass.

 

“You’re going to kill me.” Zayn mumbled into the pillow.

 

“Mmm...” Liam said then went back to licking Zayn out.

 

He ran his tongue gently around Zayn’s hole while it fluttered under his actions. Zayn was moaning uncontrollably at this point and going back and forth between grinding against the bed and moving back against Liam’s tongue. Liam gripped Zayn’s hips and pinned him down.

 

“Behave.” Liam said and Zayn choked out a whimper.

 

Liam started to prod at Zayn’s hole with his tongue to get it to loosen up.

 

“Liam Liam Liam…” Zayn panted like a mantra. “Oh my God Liam!”

 

“The sounds you make baby… and the way you say my name… I might come. And I want to be fucking you when that happens.” Liam said.

 

Zayn bit his lip and whimpered as Liam went back to eating him out.

 

Nothing in the world compared to this very moment where Liam had Zayn pinned down as he licked him out. Liam felt light-headed with his arousal, his blood felt hot in his body. Zayn was the sweetest torture to possibly exist. His small writhing form underneath Liam, his whimpers and moans, and his taste was bringing Liam to the borderline of exploding. Liam knew he could get off on Zayn’s sounds alone that’s how much of a fucking turn on they were, and the boy had no idea. Once Zayn’s hole was starting to loosen up Liam thrust his tongue in deeper. Zayn cried out and started grinding more desperately against the bed.

 

“You hard again baby?” Liam asked.

 

“Y- yes… I… I need more Liam… something… more…” Zayn stammered out his face overtaken by pleasure.

 

“Want my fingers baby?” Liam asked and trailed his fingers down the crease of Zayn’s ass.

 

Zayn whined out and buried his face in the pillow.

 

“Use your words baby boy.” Liam growled lowly and moved up to suck on the spot behind Zayn’s ear.

 

“Y- yes.” Zayn said desperately.

 

Liam turned Zayn’s face to himself and kissed him. He tilted Zayn’s chin down to open his mouth wider and licked into his mouth. Zayn moaned out tasting himself in Liam’s mouth. Liam ran his tongue alongside Zayn’s and sucked on his tongue until Zayn was a whining mess.

 

“My needy baby.” Liam chuckled and moved back.

 

Liam reached over towards his bedside table and pulled open the bottom drawer. He rummaged through it and found a bottle of lube and a box of condoms. He pulled one out then moved back and set them down on the bed. Zayn watched him silently as Liam slicked up a few of his fingers with the lube.

 

“It might be a little uncomfortable at first if you’ve never done this before but try to relax okay baby?” Liam said in a gentle tone.

 

He watched Zayn swallow shakily. Liam pressed a kiss to Zayn’s temple and ran a gentle hand through his hair.

 

“Trust me?” Liam asked again.

 

“Always.” Zayn gave Liam a small smile which Liam returned.

 

“Turn around now. I want to see your face.” Liam said and helped Zayn turn back onto his back.

 

Once Zayn was on his back and looking up at Liam with those nervous hazel eyes again, Liam kissed him then gently pushed Zayn’s thighs apart. He grabbed a pillow and placed it under Zayn’s hips to elevate his bottom half. Then he then moved his lubed fingers between Zayn’s parted thighs and traced them down towards his hole. At the first light touch Zayn shuddered and Liam felt his hole flutter.

 

“Relax sweetheart,” Liam said soothingly and leaned down to kiss Zayn.

 

He knew Zayn responded the best to kisses and always seemed to relax with those so Liam took his time in kissing him lazily and passionately. Zayn’s dick was hard against his stomach again and Liam knew this time he wanted to be inside Zayn when he got him to come. His own dick was throbbing painfully in his boxer-briefs. Liam traced his fingers over Zayn’s hole which was still slightly loose from his tongue earlier. Zayn was whimpering into Liam’s mouth as Liam entered the first finger. Zayn was unbelievably tight and warm against his finger. He was also tensing up again which made Liam pause. Liam peppered kisses over Zayn’s face and stroked his hair with his free hand.

 

“Okay?” Liam asked.

 

“Okay…” Zayn said his eyes fluttering closed.

 

Liam kissed the edge of Zayn’s mouth then started to move his finger gently against Zayn’s velvety walls. Zayn choked out a moan and one of his legs came up to wrap around Liam’s waist. Liam kissed along Zayn’s neck as he moved his finger trying to get Zayn used to the feeling. Liam kept at it for some time watching Zayn’s face overcome with pleasure, his lips letting out the prettiest moans.

 

“Ready for another?” Liam asked and Zayn nodded.

 

Liam added a second finger and Zayn choked out a moan. As Liam started moving both his fingers to stretch Zayn out, he moved his face down kissing along Zayn’s collarbones and down his chest. Liam kissed over Zayn’s nipple and the boy shook underneath him. Liam ran his tongue around the bud then latched his mouth onto it to suck it into his mouth.

 

“Liam! Fuck me oh my God! Oh my God!” Zayn cried out.

 

He was a mess and none of his words made sense as he cried out. Liam continued scissoring his fingers to stretch Zayn’s warm walls and he moved his face to Zayn’s other nipple to give it similar attention. Once they were both hard Liam moved back.

 

“Beautiful,” Liam murmured and kissed Zayn’s lips. The boy’s eyes were glassy and he seemed overwhelmed. His cheeks pink and his lips bitten so severely.

 

“I- I can do another.” Zayn panted.

 

Liam smiled and added another finger. Opening Zayn up was taking time because the boy was so unbelievably tight. Liam didn’t want to hurt Zayn no matter how much he wanted to pin him down and fuck him till he was a moaning, screaming mess. Zayn was tensing up underneath him and Liam slowed his fingers down. Zayn was already a panting mess but the way he was clenching so tightly around Liam’s fingers indicating how tense he was.

 

“Baby… relax remember?” Liam kissed Zayn and sucked his lower lip into his mouth.

 

“I- I’m trying… it just… it’s very overwhelming… I feel like I’m on fire… like I’m gonna explode…” Zayn said shakily and tucked his face into Liam’s neck.

 

Liam realized what he needed to do to get Zayn to relax more easily. He moved down Zayn’s body and grabbing his thighs he draped them over his shoulders again. Then as Zayn looked at him confused Liam dropped his head down to start licking Zayn out again.

 

“Li- Liam! Fuck!” Zayn shouted and his hands shot down reflexively to clutch fistfuls of Liam’s hair.

 

“Focus on me baby.” Liam kissed Zayn’s thigh then went back to opening Zayn up with his fingers and tongue at the same time.

 

Zayn was an absolute mess. He was blubbering and sobbing out a mixture of Liam’s name and expletives. At one point he was so lost in his pleasure he started crying out in what sounded like Urdu. Liam started going harder at that point just thrusting his fingers in and out of Zayn along with using his tongue to lick around Zayn’s hole and prod into it as well. When he brushed Zayn’s prostate the boy screamed louder, his eyes rolling back into his head. His body was shaking like crazy and his thighs had tightened around Liam’s neck. He was grasping at Liam’s hair so tightly it was painful but it just turned Liam on more. The fact that Zayn was so lost in his pleasure he was crying uncontrollably and shaking immensely just made Liam’s cock throb. When Liam noticed Zayn was loosened up pretty well, he pressed one final kiss to his hole then moved back. Zayn’s legs were quivering as Liam lowered them. He then moved back up to cradle Zayn’s face. His face was streaked with tears, his eyes and cheeks red. He seemed very out of it just looking at Liam with cloudy eyes, his breaths coming out fast and shaky.

 

“Ready for me to fuck you now baby boy?” Liam asked and kissed along Zayn’s jaw line.

 

“P- please…” Zayn whimpered out and wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and buried his face into his shoulder.

 

“Good. Because I can’t control myself any longer.” Liam murmured.

 

Liam moved back and hooked his thumbs into his own boxer-briefs to finally take them off. Zayn stared wide eyed at Liam, his chest rising and falling rapidly with every harsh breath he took. As Liam stripped off his boxer-briefs and tossed them to the side, Zayn automatically whimpered and Liam noticed his dick twitch. Liam felt like every nerve in his body was electrified as he took in the writhing desperate boy in front of him. Liam stroked his already hard cock a couple of times as he let his eyes roam down Zayn’s body.

 

“Will it hurt?” Zayn asked in a small voice.

 

“It might burn a little because it’s your first time. But I would never hurt you baby. I promise.” Liam kissed Zayn gently and rubbed his thumb over the tear tracks to wipe them away.

 

Liam moved back and lubed up his own cock quickly and put on a condom. He was kneeling between Zayn’s spread legs and he ran his hands up them.

 

“Trust me?” Liam asked the same question he had been asking all night.

 

“Always.” Zayn replied.

 

Liam grabbed Zayn’s thighs and yanked him a little down the bed and Zayn gasped out loud. He nudged Zayn’s legs apart even further with his knee then leaned down to level his face with Zayn.

 

“I’ve waited so long for this and now that I have you here, in my bed, underneath me like this… I feel like I might combust. I’m glad you trusted me enough for this baby because I’m going to take you apart little by little until you’re nothing but a screaming mess.” Liam whispered the words into Zayn’s ear and kissed him on the shell of it.

 

Zayn was whimpering below him again rutting up slowly trying to gain some friction. Liam lowered his hand to Zayn’s ass and spread the cheeks with one hand then gripped the base of his own cock with the other.

 

“You’re my fucking death baby.” Liam whispered then pushed the tip of his dick into Zayn.

 

Zayn clenched automatically and started shaking. Liam kissed all over his face to get him to relax. As Liam captured his lips in a kiss, Zayn started to relax and Liam finally, _finally_ slid into Zayn. It was agonizingly slow the way Liam pushed in. His mind started to fog up and he could hear Zayn whimpering below him. The boy was clutching desperately at Liam’s back sure enough to leave marks. Zayn felt tight and insanely warm around Liam. His tight heat was hugging Liam’s dick in a way that was causing Liam to groan loudly. Once Liam had bottomed out he paused and ducked his head to kiss and suck along Zayn’s already bruised neck.

 

“L- Liam…” Zayn was whining out.

 

“Do you feel alright baby?” Liam moved his face a little back and asked.

 

Zayn nodded, his eyes watery and his teeth biting into his red lips. Liam pulled Zayn’s lip free from his teeth and kissed him passionately, licking all around his mouth. Zayn was whining and panting into his mouth and scratching anxiously at his back.

 

“Y- you can m-move.” Zayn whispered into Liam’s mouth.

 

“Mmm.” Liam grabbed Zayn’s slim wrists and pinned them tightly above his head.

 

He then slid his dick out a fraction then thrust back into Zayn with more force. Zayn cried out in Urdu again and he threw his head back. Liam grinned and repeated the action, slamming into him even harder and Zayn was pushed a little up the bed.

“Oh my fucking- Liam you- you, Fuck!” Zayn screamed out.

 

Liam started thrusting in and out of Zayn while keeping his wrists firmly pinned. Liam took advantage of Zayn’s head thrown back and started kissing and biting along his throat. Zayn was once again crying and stuttering out a jumble of words in both English and Urdu. His face was warped with intense pleasure and tears were leaking out of the corner of his eyes again. Liam grabbed one of Zayn’s legs and pushed it up to pin it against his chest.

 

“Keep your leg there baby.” Liam said and kept up his relentless fucking into Zayn.

 

Zayn brought his other leg to wrap around Liam’s waist as well and this new angle caused Liam to go deeper. The next thrust had Liam’s dick brush the bundle of nerves inside Zayn again and he moaned out loud his head lolling back against the pillows.

 

“Liam fuck! Fuck fuck fuck! F- fuck Liam!” Zayn cried out.

 

Liam looked down at Zayn’s dick which was painfully hard and red, curved up towards his stomach. Pre-cum was bubbling out of it, and looking at Zayn’s state Liam knew he was close again. Liam’s own dick had been so painfully hard this past hour or longer and he was throbbing inside Zayn. He wanted Zayn to come untouched and he had a strong feeling it was about to happen.

 

“You gonna come baby? Come for me on my dick alone? Without me touching you?” Liam said in a low growl.

 

Zayn looked at him with heavy lidded eyes, filled with unshed tears. He looked so fucked out and beautiful Liam felt like all the air had been sucked from his lungs.

 

“I- I don’t know.” Zayn whimpered.

 

“You can. And you will.” Liam said and fucked so deep into Zayn the boy was shoved up the bed again, his head knocking into the headboard.

 

Liam let go of Zayn’s wrists and reached down with one hand to rub along Zayn’s stretched rim. The boy moaned and tightened his legs around Liam’s waist. Liam felt himself coming closer to the edge. Like someone had been lighting up the end of a firecracker all night and finally it was about to explode. He quickly wrapped his arms around Zayn and pulled the boy up into a sitting position in his lap, his cock still buried inside Zayn. The boy gasped and looked into Liam’s eyes, his arms coming to wrap around Liam’s neck. Liam attacked Zayn’s lips with a biting kiss and grabbing the boy hips, he started fucking him onto his cock. He pushed up at the same time as he pulled Zayn’s hips down. At this point his dick was directly pushing into Zayn’s prostate and the boy was a whimpering and quivering mess in Liam’s arms. His form was so slight in Liam’s arms, Liam noticed just how much smaller Zayn was than him. He realized he had been rough a couple times forgetting their size difference but Zayn seemed to be turned on by it. Liam kept fucking up into Zayn and sucking a love bite onto his collarbone.

 

“L- Liam… I- I’m close.” Zayn gasped out, his arms and legs tightening around Liam. He had been grinding his own dick against Liam’s hard stomach trying to gain some friction since Liam had told him he would come untouched.

 

Liam flipped Zayn onto the bed again and grabbed his hands, linking them with his own, and pressed them into the bed. He started fucking into Zayn faster knowing the boy was about to come.

 

“Come baby. Don’t hold back.” Liam said and gave a hard thrust.

 

Zayn’s body had tensed up, his breathing quicker and his eyes hazed. He choked on his breath and froze completely. Then as he shouted Liam’s name, he came. Liam spurred on as Zayn painted his chest and stomach in streaks of white while crying out. Zayn had finished and he was completely liquid below him, totally zoned out and incoherent. Liam felt the familiar tingling feeling at the bottom of his spine and his stomach clenched. He bit on Zayn’s neck, who whimpered weakly, and with one final thrust Liam came. He came hot inside the condom, still buried inside of Zayn. The boy who was in a comatose state let out a soft moan at the feeling of Liam coming inside him. Liam groaned out and slowed his movements completely. Panting heavily, his mind fogged and his body in complete ecstasy, Liam slowly pulled out of Zayn. The boy had his eyes closed but he whimpered out and weakly tightened his legs around Liam as if to keep him inside. Liam chuckled and moved back gently. He took off the condom tying it up and tossed it towards the wastebasket in the corner where it landed perfectly. Liam moved to lie beside Zayn and pulled the boy into his arms. Zayn was completely zoned out, his body limp like jelly and his eyes closed. Liam pulled Zayn on top of his chest and wrapped his arms around him tightly. He pressed several kisses to Zayn’s sweaty hairline and pushed his fucked-out hair off his forehead.

 

“Baby,” Liam kissed the top of his head. “You okay?”

 

Zayn nodded slowly and weakly from where his head lay against Liam’s chest, his eyes still closed and his lips slightly parted.

 

“You need to use your words. Are you good?” Liam rubbed his hand soothingly on Zayn’s back.

 

“Tjmmfjgg.” Zayn garbled out in a slow and thick voice.

 

“Bambi eyes. You’re behaving like you’re in a coma.” Liam laughed and squeezed Zayn’s ass.

 

The boy flinched a little and Liam realized he must be sore so he rubbed it soothingly and kissed Zayn’s head again. After a few minutes Zayn lifted his head so slowly, like it was taking everything he had to make that effort. He leaned his chin on Liam’s chest and blinked up at him slowly.

 

“Maybe… tumh ne mujhe mar dala hai.” Zayn murmured the last bit in Urdu.

 

“And what does that mean?” Liam asked he kissed Zayn’s forehead.

 

“You killed me.” Zayn whispered softly then dropped back down onto Liam.

 

Liam grinned and slowly rolled Zayn over so he could lay comfortably against the bed. The boy’s body was completely limp and his eyes were closed so Liam had to maneuver him into a comfortable position then he wrapped his arms around him and hugged him to his chest. Liam knew he should clean them up but Zayn was practically dead to the world right now and Liam couldn’t bring himself to move and let go of Zayn right now especially with how beautifully fucked out and cute he looked.

 

“Tell me something… did I also _literally_ kill you this time?” Liam teased and stroked Zayn’s hair.

 

“You’re the devil.” Zayn muttered and bit Liam on his pec.

 

Liam squeezed Zayn’s ass in return who let out a whine and buried himself even further into Liam’s chest. Liam ran his hand gently along Zayn’s ass and traced his finger into the crease. When he rubbed his finger on Zayn’s puffy rim the boy choked out a whimper and shook in Liam’s arms. Liam looked down to see Zayn’s face turning pink and his eyelashes fluttering against Liam’s chest.

 

“I need to get you cleaned up.” Liam murmured.

 

“Why?” Zayn whispered sleepily.

 

“So I can get you dirty again.” Liam smirked slightly and ducked down to capture Zayn’s lips in a kiss.

 

Zayn moaned softly into the kiss, weakly clutching at Liam’s arms. Liam kissed him lazily and intensely while he trailed his fingers down to trace the boy’s rim again. Zayn was slowly staring to grind against Liam’s leg, still a little zoned out.

 

“Come on baby. Let me clean you up first.” Liam said.

 

He pressed a kiss to Zayn’s lips then sat up. Zayn lay there like a limp noodle just blinking at Liam confusedly. He was still in his delirious and sleepy state so Liam grinned and picked him up. Zayn leaned his head against Liam’s chest and closed his eyes yawning. Liam kissed his forehead and walked towards his bathroom.

 

“Are you going to fuck me in the shower?” Zayn slurred sleepily.

 

“Not right now. Maybe when you’re one hundred percent conscious.” Liam laughed.

 

“Okay… I’d like that.” Zayn sighed out and nuzzled his face in Liam’s chest.

 

“Me too baby. You have no idea.” Liam said and kissed his head.

 

When Liam entered his bathroom, he set down a half-asleep Zayn on a bench he had on the side of his bathroom. A shower would be difficult with Zayn’s current state so Liam filled his bathtub with warm water and some soothing bath oils. When it was filled, Liam picked Zayn up again and sank into the water and leaned back with Zayn in his lap. He adjusted him so Zayn had his back to Liam’s front. Liam wrapped his arms around Zayn tightly and kissed his head. Zayn sighed in pleasure and sank down further. He turned his head against Liam’s chest and yawned again, his eyes closed.

 

“So how do you feel baby?” Liam asked as he picked up a washcloth and gently started rubbing it along Zayn’s chest and stomach.

 

“Good.” Zayn sighed. “Really good. You’re so good Liam. So, so good to me.”

 

“Eloquent.” Liam chuckled.

 

“Stop,” Zayn mumbled. “You ruined me.”

 

“You’ve seen nothing yet.” Liam smiled and dropped a kiss to Zayn’s wet shoulder.

 

Zayn flushed against his chest and flicked some water at Liam.

 

“That was better than anything I could have ever imagined. I mean of course it was… it was _you_. I just feel so lucky and like… really happy.” Zayn whispered while running his fingers along Liam’s arm.

 

“I’m glad baby. You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to have you like this.” Liam kissed along Zayn’s neck.

 

Zayn looked over his shoulder at Liam with the softest and most-heartbreakingly beautiful smile. Liam leaned down and pressed his lips to Zayn’s in a sweet lingering kiss. Zayn sighed and turned around in Liam’s arms to kiss him properly. After kissing for a few minutes Zayn took the washcloth out of Liam’s hands and started slowly cleaning him off. He gave Liam a shy smile then moved the cloth over Liam’s chest while biting his lip as he admired Liam’s wet body. Liam leaned back and just watched Zayn with a smile. Once they had been cleaned off and the water had gone cold, Liam helped Zayn out of the bathtub and wrapped a big towel around him. He towelled Zayn off until he was completely dry as the boy stood there blinking sleepily at Liam. When Zayn was dry, Liam pressed a kiss to his lips and dried himself off quickly. He carried Zayn back into the bedroom and helped him under the covers. When Liam got under the sheets himself, Zayn rolled over and wrapped himself like a koala around Liam.

 

“You’re adorable like this baby. All fucked out and sleepy and just adorable.” Liam laughed and kissed Zayn all over his face.

 

Zayn just smiled and nuzzled his face into Liam’s chest.

 

“I like it when you hold me.” Zayn said softly.

 

“I like it too baby. More than you know.” Liam murmured and squeezed his arms tightly around Zayn and kissed his head.

 

Zayn sighed out contently and slurred a sleepy good night. Liam held him close as Zayn’s breathing evened out and he fell asleep within minutes. Liam stroked Zayn’s hair and kissed his head fondly feeling sleep overtake him as well. It felt like he had been waiting an eternity to have this sweet gentle boy in his arms and now that he had him, Liam never wanted to let go.

 

**

 

 

Zayn could feel the warmth of the sun on his face and it was fighting to get through his eyelids. He blinked his eyes open slowly and at first everything was blurry then it came into focus. At first he felt confused at his surroundings then he remembered. He was in Liam’s room, in his bed. The sun was coming through the massive floor to ceiling glass windows on the far side of the room. Zayn hadn’t seen the room properly in the chaos of last night’s passionate love-making. But he could see there was a glass door embedded into the tall glass windows, with a balcony on the other side. Zayn turned his head slightly to look at Liam. He was sleeping on his back with his arm around Zayn who had his head on Liam’s chest. Zayn took in Liam’s peacefully sleeping form and smiled to himself. Everything felt surreal. A few weeks ago, he had met a man who had taken his breath and peace of mind away. After that he spent every waking moment crushing painfully on him. Zayn had thought he could never have Liam. That Liam was like this dream that couldn’t possibly be a reality for someone like him. But it was real. Zayn was in Liam’s bed, in his arms after spending the most amazing night of his life with him. Zayn trailed gentle fingers along Liam’s jawline then through his thick beard. Liam’s beard was one of Zayn’s favourite things. At first he just loved it so much because it looked good on the older man. Then last night Zayn had been introduced to new realms of pleasure through Liam’s beard. He could never bring himself to say this out loud, but when Liam had been rimming him, the way his beard had rubbed against Zayn’s ass and his thighs had his body thrumming and his eyes rolling back in his head with how amazing it felt. The beard burn was fucking incredible and just thinking about it had Zayn’s dick twitching. Fuck. Liam’s relentless passion in just eating him out had made his body feel like it had been lit on fire. Nothing in this entire world compared to the feeling of Liam’s tongue down there. Of course, other than his dick inside Zayn. A magnificent, mind-numbing experience. Zayn had no idea why he held back for so long but now he couldn’t stop thinking about Liam fucking into him. His lower body ached to feel Liam’s dick throbbing inside him again. It made him feel so… complete.

 

Zayn ran his fingers through Liam’s beard and down his neck. He traced the outline of Liam’s rock hard abs and held back a moan. The man was a fucking Greek God and Zayn could feel himself getting hard just looking at Liam’s naked body, only his lower half covered with the sheet. If Zayn’s feelings had been dangerously well past the line of just attraction before last night, now they were in a whole new scope of intensity. What he felt for this man, physically and emotionally, was not easy to describe. All these feelings were vivacious. He just wanted and _needed_ Liam so damn much. Zayn leaned forward hesitantly and pressed a kiss to Liam’s chest. Liam stirred in his sleep and Zayn started to regret his actions because Liam was waking up. But then Liam blinked his eyes open and upon seeing Zayn; a lazy, and a little too sexy for this early in the morning, smile broke across his face.

 

“Bambi eyes.” Liam murmured. His voice was so husky Zayn felt his dick start to twitch again.

 

He flushed a little at his own thoughts and smiled at Liam.

 

“Hi.” Zayn whispered.

 

“Morning baby.” Liam said and rolled over, trapping Zayn against the bed.

 

Liam left a trail of feather light kisses along the side of Zayn’s face then kissed between his eyes and moved back.

 

“Were you watching me sleep?” Liam smirked at him and started to rub his thumb across Zayn’s cheekbone.

 

“Just… just admiring…” Zayn blushed.

 

“Admiring what sweetheart?” Liam pressed a delicate kiss to Zayn’s cheekbone.

 

“You. You’re so beautiful.” Zayn murmured keeping his eyes down where he traced his finger over Liam’s shoulder.

 

“Really?” Liam asked in a slight teasing voice.

 

“Shut up.” Zayn smiled up at Liam. “You… you’re like hot… and so sexy… and just… beautiful.”

 

“Nicely phrased.” Liam laughed and kissed Zayn’s forehead as he pushed his hair out of his eyes.

 

Liam kept looking at him with so much fond and something close to a deep craving in his eyes. He stroked Zayn’s face and ran his other hand down Zayn’s body gently.

 

“ _You_ are the most beautiful person I’ve ever set my eyes on. Just the prettiest little thing.” Liam said and pressed a light kiss to Zayn’s lips.

 

Zayn sighed and wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck.

 

“Who lets out the prettiest little moans,” Liam whispered huskily and kissed down Zayn’s neck. “And makes the prettiest face when he comes.”

 

“L- Liam…” Zayn whispered feeling flustered.

 

“It’s the truth baby. You’re fucking capable of destroying any man. But it should only be me.” Liam’s eyes looked dark and possessive.

 

Zayn felt his toes curl with desire just looking into Liam’s eyes and hearing his words.

 

“Only you.” Zayn sighed out as Liam started to kiss down his body.

 

“Good.” Liam said and nipped at Zayn’s hipbone.

 

Then Liam tossed the sheet away from Zayn’s body and lowered his mouth to lick along Zayn’s half hard dick. Zayn gasped at the unexpected action and arched his back off the bed. He then closed his eyes and lost himself to the incomparable pleasure of Liam’s mouth around his dick.

 

 

**

 

 

“This is your closet?”

 

Zayn turned around in slow circles completely shocked. He was standing in Liam’s walk-in-closet with a towel wrapped around his waist. Except this wasn’t a regular walk-in closet, it was as big as Liam’s master bedroom and it was fucking massive. There were even steps at the end that led up to an entirely different section of the closet. Just shelves covering the walls end to end and glass cases in the middle of the room holding watches and more expensive items. The second portion had shoes, ties and hats. There was a section of sofas situated in the middle and large mirrors between the shelves. Spotlights lit up every shelve to showcase the clothes. Zayn was a little dumbfounded as he took in the enormous room. Liam chuckled from behind him and wrapped his arms around Zayn’s waist.

 

“Yup.” Liam said and kissed Zayn’s bare shoulder.

 

“Holy shit.” Zayn mumbled.

 

“You’re gonna need some clothes.”

 

Liam walked over to a section of the closet and pulled open a drawer. He took out some black boxers and handed them over to Zayn. As Zayn slipped on the underwear Liam dropped his own towel and pulled on a pair of sweats. Zayn let his eyes roam over Liam’s body as he slowly pulled his boxers up. Liam turned around and grinned at Zayn then grabbed another item and came over to Zayn.

 

“Here.” Liam handed Zayn a white jumper and kissed him chastely.

 

Zayn smiled and pulled the jumper over his head. It fell down to his upper thighs, barely covering the boxers. It was baggy and clearly a few sizes too big. Zayn pushed the sleeves up a little and looked up at Liam who was watching him with a glint in his eyes.

 

“I need some bottoms.” Zayn said tugging on the jumper

 

“Maybe I just want you to stay like this. And look at your sexy little legs all day.” Liam grinned and pulled him forward to kiss him.

 

“Of course you would.” Zayn giggled and stood on his tiptoes to kiss Liam back properly.

 

Liam smiled against his mouth and cupped his ass giving it a squeeze. In the middle of their kiss Zayn’s stomach grumbled loudly and Liam pulled back laughing as Zayn flushed embarrassed.

 

“You hungry baby?” Liam asked.

 

“A little.” Zayn mumbled.

 

“You’ve come five times since last night and had no food of course you’re hungry.” Liam teased and took Zayn’s hand leading him out of the closet.

 

Zayn blushed and followed Liam out of the closet back into the bedroom. Somewhere in the room a loud ringtone went off.

 

“Shit that’s my phone give me a second.” Liam walked over to his bedside table and picked up his phone.

 

“Hello?... Hey Charlie.” Liam walked back over to Zayn, his phone held to his ear.

 

Liam wrapped his free arm around Zayn and pulled him towards himself. He kissed along Zayn’s face as he hummed in agreement to whoever was on the phone. Zayn folded himself into Liam’s body and wrapped his arms around him.

 

“…. Yeah I’ve got it in my home office let me check it out… hold on Charlie.” Liam pulled the phone away for a second and squeezed Zayn’s side. “Go ahead downstairs to the kitchen baby. I’ll be down there in a second.”

 

Zayn nodded and moved away from Liam after he kissed him briefly. He walked out of the room and down the hall towards the stairs. Once he got downstairs he wandered towards where he thought the kitchen might be (only getting lost once) since he hadn’t seen it yesterday and had no idea where it was located in this massive penthouse. When he walked into the kitchen he quickly stumbled to a stop. Standing in front of the kitchen island setting down a pot of coffee was a middle-aged woman, and off to the side was a man who was setting down several packages onto a table.

 

“Oh... fuck…” Zayn muttered and instinctively tugged on the jumper he was wearing to try and cover his bare legs. Fuck, why did he listen to Liam and forgo the bottoms. Now he was half naked in front of complete strangers.

 

“Oh, hello.” The woman smiled at him unfazed by Zayn’s inner desire to die from embarrassment.

 

“H- hi.” Zayn said feeling his cheeks heat up.

 

“Would you like some breakfast?” The woman gestured to the varying amounts of food on the breakfast bar that was lined with high stools on one end.

 

“I- I…” Zayn stuttered slowly backing away.

 

“Mary, forgot you were coming in today.” Liam entered the kitchen still in just his sweats and his phone in his hand.

 

“I told you I’d come in today and prep your food for tomorrow as well and do the laundry.” The woman- Mary- said.

 

“Of course. Oh, this is Zayn. Zayn this is my housekeeper and cook Mary and that’s my driver Patrick, you met him yesterday when we went to the wedding.” Liam sat onto a stool and pulled Zayn in between his legs.

 

“Nice to meet you Zayn.” Mary smiled kindly at him.

 

“Liam maybe I should go put some more clothes on. This is inappropriate.” Zayn leaned up and whispered into Liam’s ear.

 

Liam laughed and pressed a kiss to his flaming cheek.

 

“They’ve seen worse baby. You’re alright.” Liam chuckled and squeezed Zayn’s hand.

 

Zayn bit his lip still embarrassed and tugged on the jumper again.

 

“Brought your mail and dry cleaning.” Patrick pointed at all the boxes he’d set to the side as he lay out a couple garment bags as well.

 

“Thanks Paddy.” Liam said and picked up a glass of juice.

 

“We should leave now. Your boy seems really uneasy by our presence.” Patrick chuckled.

 

“N-no,” Zayn said quickly feeling bad about his own embarrassment.

 

“You’re a cute one.” Mary said and moved around the kitchen picking up a few things.

 

“He is.” Liam grinned and kissed Zayn gently.

 

“Enjoy your breakfast and the rest of the day my dear. Nice meeting you Zayn.” Mary said and moved towards the door of the kitchen.

 

“Nice meeting you.” Zayn said weakly as Patrick also smiled at him and followed Mary out.

 

After a few seconds Zayn heard the front door close and he sighed and dropped his head against Liam’s chest.

 

“I’m too embarrassing for my own health.” Zayn mumbled.

 

“No you’re not. You’re too sweet.” Liam said and kissed the side of his head while stroking his hair.

 

“They seem nice.” Zayn commented.

 

“Mhm.” Liam hummed.

 

As Zayn lifted his head to see why Liam was so distracted he suddenly felt his hips being grabbed and Liam lifted him quickly and placed him on the large kitchen island in front of himself. Liam ran his hand up his thigh and bunched Zayn’s (Liam’s) jumper around his waist. Liam lowered his head to kiss along Zayn’s thigh.

 

“I- I think we should eat the food before it gets cold. She- Mary- made such an effort…” Zayn sighed out feeling his skin tingle with the way Liam was kissing and sucking on it.

 

“I know what I’m hungry for.” Liam smirked and ran his hands around to the back of Zayn’s ass and squeezed it.

 

Zayn felt his face heat up as a blush hit him full force.

 

“You’re insatiable… we’ve done stuff like five times now… all that at night, then when we woke up near sunrise, then when we properly woke up an hour ago, and just now in the shower… you’re so shameless.” Zayn said despite feeling shots of pleasure run through his body.

 

 “I can’t get enough of you.” Liam gently pushed Zayn back to lie against the marble top.

 

“But I’m hungry.” Zayn pouted up at Liam.

 

“Oh you’re hungry?” Liam teased.

 

He grabbed a blueberry from the bowl of fresh berries sitting on the side and ran it slowly up Zayn’s neck. Zayn shivered at the feeling of the cold texture against his skin. Liam rubbed the berry along Zayn’s lips slowly without pushing it in. Zayn let out a soft sigh at the way Liam made even breakfast seem sensual. Liam placed the blueberry between his own lips then he tilted open Zayn’s mouth and leaned forward to pass it into Zayn’s mouth. When he pushed it in with his tongue, he sealed it by kissing Zayn deeply. The blueberry exploded in his mouth with the way Liam was kissing him. Liam continued kissing him, licking around Zayn’s mouth taking in the sweet and tangy flavour directly from Zayn’s mouth. Zayn whimpered and wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck, feeling his body heat up with the passionate way Liam had just fed him the berry.

 

“Still hungry?” Liam moved back, leaning his hands on the counter beside Zayn.

 

“Starved.” Zayn bit his lip grinning at Liam.

 

Liam raised an eyebrow smiling then pulled a jar of Nutella towards himself. Zayn watched breathlessly as Liam slowly twisted the lid off then dipped his fingers inside. He leisurely brought the two fingers coated in chocolate spread to his own mouth and sucked on them. Zayn choked out an embarrassing moan watching Liam lick the chocolate off his own fingers. Liam grinned seeing Zayn’s frazzled state. Then he dipped his finger inside again and brought it towards Zayn’s mouth. He rubbed the chocolate spread across Zayn’s slack lips then leaned down and kissed Zayn. He licked away the Nutella from Zayn’s lips and sucked on them to clean them completely. Then he thrust his tongue into Zayn’s open mouth to give him a taste. Zayn whimpered and tangled his own tongue with Liam’s feeling his mind go blank at the taste of chocolate and something so purely Liam invading his mouth. Liam pressed another kiss to Zayn’s lips then moved back.

 

“A good way to have breakfast am I right?” Liam grinned at Zayn.

 

“Right…” Zayn said finding it a struggle to breathe properly.

 

“Well you should eat this food quick because after that I plan on bending you over this very counter and eating _you_ out.” Liam winked at Zayn then moved around the island to grab himself a cup of coffee.

 

“O- okay…” Zayn said dazed and hopped off the counter.

 

He turned around and was about to grab a piece of toast when suddenly he got pushed into the counter. Zayn gasped as Liam pinned him against the counter, his front to Zayn’s back. His hands then dropped to the waistband of Zayn’s boxers.

 

“You know what, fuck that. I’m not gonna wait.” Liam pulled down Zayn’s boxers and dropped to his knees behind him in one quick motion.

 

“Oh my God!” Zayn cried out as Liam wasted no time in spreading him open to lick away at his entrance. At the unexpected surge of pleasure, Zayn’s arms shot out to grab at something and he ended up knocking several dishes to the floor. Zayn just dropped his face into his arms on the counter and bit on his forearm to muffle his moans. He was too in the middle of losing his God damn mind to even realize or care about the mess he had created on the floor.

 

 

**

 

 

“I have to go home soon.”

 

Liam looked down at Zayn who was laying on top of his chest, his face pressed right against where Liam’s heart was. They were laying on the couch in Liam’s living room with the TV turned on to some random channel playing generic Sunday morning movies. Liam was rubbing lazy circles onto Zayn’s back, his hands underneath Zayn’s jumper. Zayn looked saddened by the thought of leaving so Liam pressed a kiss to the nest of fluffy raven hair atop the boy’s head.

 

“You don’t have to.” Liam said and squeezed his arms tighter around Zayn.

 

“I do,” Zayn sighed. “I told my parents I would be sleeping at Harry’s before I came here yesterday-“

 

“Hold on,” Liam interrupted him and smirked down at the boy. “You told your parents you wouldn’t be home for the night yesterday afternoon before you came here? So you knew you’d be staying over because you planned to have sex the whole time?”

 

“Nooooo.” Zayn hid his face in Liam’s chest revealing that he in fact had done exactly that.

 

“Someone is a lot less innocent than they let on.” Liam laughed and pinched Zayn’s side teasingly.

 

“Well now all of this has to be cut short because my parents will be wondering where I am. They already have their suspicions.” Zayn sighed and ran his fingers over the tattoos on Liam’s arm.

 

“Don’t stress out baby. I’ll take you home. Although I would have liked to keep you here the whole day and find new ways to get you to moan so beautifully like you do… but I’ll take you home.” Liam smiled and kissed Zayn on his forehead.

 

Zayn smiled happily with a slight pink colour in his cheeks. He tilted his face up to kiss Liam on his jaw then adjusted himself to lie back on top of Liam comfortably.

 

“Maybe in an hour.” Zayn said and turned his face to the TV.

 

Liam linked his fingers through Zayn’s and brought his hand up to his mouth to press a kiss to it. He kept holding on to Zayn’s hand and rubbed small circles onto the back of it.

 

“Whenever you want baby. Because you know if it were up to me, I would never let you leave.”

 

 

**

 

 

Zayn looked out the window as Liam pulled to a stop a little way down the street from his house. He suddenly felt the rush of high he had been feeling since yesterday settle down into a lingering sadness.

 

“You okay?” Zayn turned to look at Liam who was looking at him with a hint of concern

 

“I’m fine. Just realized that all the happiness of the past 24 hours and the bubble I was living in is now gonna burst.” Zayn gave Liam a small smile and toyed with the watch Liam had given him which sat on his wrist.

 

“Baby… come here.” Liam grabbed Zayn’s hand and tugged him a little.

 

Zayn looked at Liam confusedly then realized what he wanted. He smiled shyly and moved to straddle Liam in the driver’s seat. Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and tucked his face into his shoulder. Liam hugged him back tightly and kissed his head.

 

“You do understand that wasn’t some one-time thing right? I want to keep seeing you. I can’t stay away from you or get enough of you. You’ve consumed my mind baby.” Liam rubbed his back gently.

 

Zayn nodded then looked up at Liam to see him looking back at him with a serious expression. While Zayn had spent the past few weeks being completely unsure of Liam’s words, right now he realized he didn’t doubt Liam at all. The man’s face only showed sincerity and nothing else. Zayn smiled at Liam and leaned up and kissed him chastely on the lips.

 

“I know. I… I can’t stay away from you either. You’re all I think about. All the time. I just… I just want to be with you all the time.” Zayn said softly as Liam cradled his face.

 

Liam grinned at him and leaned down to kiss Zayn. They were supposed to be saying goodbye but with Liam kissing him so passionately, licking along his bottom lip, it just made him want to never leave.  Zayn whimpered into the kiss and unconsciously starting grinding down in Liam’s lap.

 

“Behave baby. You have to go home now, but if you move your hips like that I’ll have to pull you into the backseat and fuck you again.” Liam murmured huskily and bit his neck.

 

Zayn felt Liam’s words shoot straight to his dick and he let out an involuntary whine. Liam clutched his hair and pulled his head back. Zayn gasped and looked at Liam feeling the tingle of pain from the hair pulling make arousal pool in his stomach. Liam raised his eyebrows at Zayn with a small smirk.

 

“You think you can go in?” Liam asked and rubbed his thumb across Zayn’s lip.

 

“Y- yeah.” Zayn said shakily.

 

“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow baby.” Liam kissed Zayn and squeezed his hips.

 

Zayn sighed reluctant to leave Liam but pulled away from the kiss eventually.

 

“Okay.” Zayn said in a small voice.

 

“Hey, none of that.” Liam said and tilted Zayn’s face up. “I’m going to see you tomorrow okay?” Liam kissed him sweetly on the lips a few times then on his forehead as well.

 

Zayn hugged Liam again who held onto him tightly and kissed him lightly on his temple. When Zayn had gathered himself he kissed Liam’s cheek once then moved back over to the passenger seat to exit. As he turned around, Liam smacked his ass lightly. Zayn turned around feeling his face heat up and he knew his mouth was hanging open.

 

“Liam!” Zayn looked at Liam a little shocked who laughed.

 

Liam grabbed the back of Zayn’s neck and tugged him into another fleeting kiss then let him go and grinned. Zayn shook his head smiling and opened the door to get out.

 

“Oh wait!” Zayn turned back towards Liam. “I have some of your clothes and stuff, like the plaid shirt, the clothes from Paris and the snapback. I’ll bring them down to you, you probably want them back.”

 

“Nah baby. Keep them. You look good in my clothes.” Liam smiled and let his eyes roam over Zayn’s body who was wearing Liam’s clothes this morning too.

 

“You sure?” Zayn asked despite feeling happiness bubble inside him at Liam’s words.

 

“Yeah. And besides maybe one day you can ride me wearing nothing _but_ my snapback. You should hold onto it.” Liam smirked at him and Zayn felt his whole body turn crimson.

 

“You’re pure evil.” Zayn said feeling stunned.

 

“Bye bambi eyes.” Liam chuckled at Zayn’s embarrassment.

 

“Bye Liam.” Zayn said and closed the car door.

 

Zayn waved at Liam as he pulled away from the curb and drove away. Zayn felt the same feeling of sadness settle over his bones and he realized it was because he missed Liam. He’d been away from him for a few seconds and already ached to be back in Liam’s arms. These feelings were overwhelming. Too much too soon and it was scaring Zayn because he was getting a little too obsessed with Liam who probably wasn’t on the same level yet. Zayn sighed and turned to walk towards his house. He ran up the front steps and unlocked the door quietly to try and not alert any family members to his presence. Inside he slipped off his shoes and tried to inch his way towards the stairs.

 

“Zayn?”

 

Zayn froze halfway towards the stairs hearing his Dad’s voice. He turned around slowly and noticed Yaser sitting in the living room with papers spread around him and a laptop perched on his lap.

 

“Why are you sneaking in like some criminal beta?” Yaser laughed a little looking at him.

 

“N- nothing.” Zayn tried to keep his face neutral.

 

“How was your day with your friends and your night at Harry’s.” Yaser took his glasses off to give his attention to Zayn.

 

Zayn slowly walked into the living room and sat down beside Yaser. He felt guilt hit his body as he remembered the lie he had told his parents yesterday before he went to the wedding with Liam.

 

“It was good Baba.” Zayn smiled a little.

 

Yaser looked at him curiously for a few seconds then pushed his laptop away.

 

“Zayn… is there anything you want to talk about? You know I love you beta and you can tell me anything. Your Maa and sisters are at Sarwat Phupo’s house so we can talk freely.” Yaser was looking at him so openly and with only concern that Zayn felt his heart clench.

 

“There’s not much going on Baba. Just boring old work.” Zayn tried to keep his voice steady.

 

He hated this. He wanted to tell his Baba about Liam so badly. His Baba was so supportive and wonderful and would be ecstatic to hear that Zayn liked someone especially since his family had seen Zayn holding himself back from liking anyone since Drew. Yaser watched him quietly for a few moments.

 

“Are you sure? Zayn… I’ve been your age and done most of the things you kids do. I _know_ you’re not staying at Harry’s house all these nights you’ve been disappearing.” Yaser said.

 

“N- no Baba…” Zayn panicked wondering if maybe Yaser had figured out he was seeing Liam.

 

“Zayn it’s okay. Relax.” Yaser squeezed his hand and gave Zayn a moment to quiet down the anxious feelings starting to creep up.

 

“All I meant was that I think I have an idea that maybe you’re seeing someone?” Yaser said gently and rubbed Zayn’s arm. Zayn couldn’t bring himself to look into Yaser’s eyes yet.

 

“I trust you blindly Zayn. You’re a smart boy and I know you wouldn’t get mixed up with someone bad. You have good judgement and if you _are_ seeing someone, I trust its someone who treats you like you deserve. We raised a good son and I trust you to make safe choices.” Yaser wrapped his arm around Zayn’s shoulders and kissed his head.

 

“Thank you Baba.” Zayn murmured his voice coming out shaky.

 

“If you’re not ready to talk about it yet it’s fine. I know you might be feeling a little anxious. Just know I’m here when you’re ready to tell me. Although I hope its soon because I want to know all about the boy who has you smiling these days and has been sending you gift baskets.” Yaser chuckled and squeezed Zayn’s shoulders affectionately.

 

Zayn grinned and turned his face down hiding his blush from his dad. Even a vague mention of Liam had him grinning like a fool.

 

“There you go again.” Yaser teased.

 

“Stop it Baba. He teases me enough, I don’t need you doing it as well.” Zayn mumbled into Yaser’s shoulder.

 

“As long as he teases you as just a joke because if it’s with any harmful intention I will kill him.” Yaser said in a serious tone.

 

“You can’t kill him.” Zayn said and frowned at his Dad. “He doesn’t do anything with a bad intention. He’s a good guy.”

 

“What’s his name?” Yaser asked.

 

“Ummm…” Zayn felt hesitant because this thing with Liam was so new. He knew he was attracted to Liam and Liam was so _so_ good to him. But his parents were so protective and if he told them about Liam they might be wary considering the age difference and the fact that Liam was his boss.

 

“It’s fine Zayn. You can tell me when you’re ready. God knows I hid my relationship with your Maa from your grandparents until I felt ready to tell them.” Yaser smiled at him.

 

“Thanks Baba. I- I will tell you. I want to tell you. It’s just really new and all and I’ve never had something like this before.” Zayn said.

 

“And Zayn. Your Maa might be a little more curious and may want more answers. While I may not ask for more yet, for your Maa’s sake maybe cover that up.” Yaser looked awkward as he pointed to Zayn’s neck.

 

“O- oh.” Fucking hell. Zayn wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole. The love bite Liam had left on him. Frankly there were so many covering his body but he had forgotten about the visible one on his neck.

 

“This um… this goes without saying but you… you’re being safe right… you know what I mean?” Yaser looked straight at the TV awkwardness covering his face.

 

“Baba! Y- you…” Zayn stammered out turning red.

 

“I know you’re smart Zayn but I have to ask you as your parent. If you’re… you know… active… sexually… you need to-“

 

“Baba! Stop! Please don’t continue that sentence. I- I’m well aware… I swear… I… you don’t need to.” Zayn felt so horrified he wanted to run away and hide. His dad was about to give him a safe sex talk and he did _not_ want to hear that.

 

“Okay. That- that’s good then.” There was silence for a few minutes then Yaser squeezed his hand.

 

“Whoever he is I hope he makes you happy. You deserve it meri jaan. You deserve only good things.” Yaser looked at Zayn with so much affection in his eyes that Zayn moved forward and hugged him tightly.

 

“I love you Baba. So much.” Zayn kissed Yaser’s head then moved back and smiled at him.

 

“I love you too Zayn.” Yaser squeezed his face fondly. “Do you want chai? I was about to make myself some.”

“Yes please. You know I would never give up your chai. It’s better than Maa’s. Don’t tell her that though.” Zayn smiled and picked up the remote to change the TV channel.

 

Yaser laughed and ruffled his hair fondly then walked away towards the kitchen.

 

 

**

 

 

“I still can’t believe my baby lost his virginity.” Harry grinned at Zayn and pulled him into a side hug.

 

It was once again a typical Monday morning and they were walking the last block to PAYNE CORPORATIONS after getting off the subway. Zayn had felt butterflies in his stomach since waking up, excited at the prospect of seeing Liam. The closer they got the more faster his heart started to beat. He missed Liam so much. His husky voice, his sexy smirks, his intoxicating scent, his lips, the feeling of being in his strong arms. God. Zayn missed him so much.

 

“Harry it’s been a day since I told you. Why are you still acting so extra?” Zayn asked although he was smiling.

 

“Because its monumental ZayZay. I though you planned on dying a virgin.” Harry said teasingly.

 

“Haha.” Zayn laughed sardonically.

 

“You refuse to give me details so I will continue to tease you until you tell me how Daddy Payne was in bed.” Harry grinned his eyes sparkling.

 

“Stop calling him that.” Zayn glared at Harry. “And what details do you want? I told you in general what happened. The rest is private.”

 

“I tell you about all my fucks.” Harry pouted.

 

“I never ask for it. You just share way too much.” Zayn rolled his eyes.

 

“At least let me know what you liked best or what he did best. You had sex for the first time, it’s like a whole new world, pun not intended for you my Aladdin son.” Harry smiled and Zayn shook his head fighting a smile.

 

“It was all good Harry. Liam is- like… wow.” Zayn looked away from Harry fighting a blush as he remembered the night with Liam.

 

“Did he suck your dick before he fucked you? Oh! Did he rim you?” Zayn turned a dark colour at Harry’s words.

 

“I knew it. I knew you’d be a kinky little shit who would love getting his ass ate.” Harry laughed manically.

 

“Shut the fuck up Harry.” Zayn hissed as they came to a stop in front of the building.

 

“You’re a low-key freak ZayZay I know it.” Harry smirked and pinched his side.

 

“Honestly Haz-“

 

“Oh! Look at that. There comes Daddy Payne and he looks _good_.” Harry grabbed Zayn by the shoulders and spun him around.

 

Zayn inhaled sharply. Liam was getting out of his car and saying something to Patrick who laughed and waved him off. He was dressed in navy blue suit with a white dress shirt and thin black tie. He was wearing sunglasses so Zayn wasn’t too sure if he had seen him yet. But when a slow grin spread across Liam’s face, Zayn knew he had been spotted.

 

“I’ll see you upstairs Harry.” Zayn said without taking his eyes off Liam who was headed his way.

 

“Ugh. Fine.” Harry said. He smiled at Liam and turned around to walk into the building.

 

“You just made my morning.” Liam took off his sunglasses and smiled at Zayn as he stopped in front of him.

 

“Hi.” Zayn knew he was grinning like a fool himself. Sue him. He had missed Liam.

 

“Hi baby.” Liam said more softly and reached forward to stroke the back of his hand along Zayn’s cheek.

 

Zayn smiled shyly and adjusted his glasses. He looked around them and noticed that people walking into the building were giving them curious looks. Probably wondering why the CEO of their company was standing with some boy and touching him like that.

 

“I- I should get upstairs. Maybe I can come see you during my lunch break?” Zayn asked hopefully.

 

“Of course. If you didn’t come up to my office, I would come looking for you. Maybe get you in that copy room again.” Liam smirked slightly.

 

“Liam.” Zayn looked around wondering if anyone saw or heard.

 

“Relax bambi eyes. You’re alright.” Liam smiled and placed a hand on Zayn’s back to turn him to walk into the building.

 

They walked towards the elevators where a small group of people were waiting. Zayn stopped a few inches away from Liam and kept his gaze glued to the changing numbers above the elevator. He knew Liam- as always- had his gaze shamelessly stuck on Zayn. It was making him nervous and he gulped. He turned his head to look at Liam slowly and indeed the man was dragging his eyes over Zayn’s body.

 

“You’re wearing my jumper again.” Liam murmured.

 

“Y-yeah.” Zayn whispered. Truth be told he was so addicted to Liam’s scent that lingered on it, he couldn’t bring himself to part from it.

 

“Hmm.” Liam hummed with a glint in his eye.

 

When the elevator opened Liam gently pushed Zayn in with a hand to his back that no one else noticed. Liam entered right after him and when other people started to enter Liam turned around and blocked their path.

 

“I’m going to need you all to take the next elevator.” Liam smiled charmingly.

 

The few people waiting for the elevator all looked at him confused then nodded because Liam was after all their boss.

 

“Of course Sir.” One woman spoke up confused.

 

Oh God. What was Liam doing? Zayn sank back against the elevator watching Liam with wide eyes.

 

“Actually, I’m running late so I need to get in this elevator. There’s a lot of room we can all fit.” Another man said as he tried to step in to the elevator.

 

Liam put his arm out to block the man from getting in. He then gave the man one of the iciest glares Zayn had ever seen.

 

“Take the next elevator. Or use the stairs.” Liam said in a stony voice and the man slowly backed away nodding.

 

Liam pressed the close button to the elevator then turned around slowly to face Zayn. He had a dark glint in his eyes and a smirk spread across his face.

 

“Why- why did you do that?” Zayn asked backing into the elevator wall.

 

Liam raised an eyebrow and moved over to Zayn in a slow predatory way. He came up to Zayn and gripped his hips tightly.

 

“Jump.” Liam murmured.

 

Zayn looked at him for a second then a smile broke across his own face and he jumped slightly as Liam grabbed the back of his thighs at the same time. Liam slammed Zayn against the elevator wall and attacked his lips. Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and his legs around his waist and opened up his mouth for Liam to lick into. Liam started sucking on his tongue clearly knowing it was Zayn’s weak point and Zayn moaned loudly.

 

“For this.” Liam said and started kissing down Zayn’s neck. “Seeing you in my clothes makes me want to pin you down and fuck you on the closest surface available.”

 

“Liam,” Zayn groaned as Liam started grinding against him. Zayn could feel his dick start to stir with the way Liam was moving against his bottom half.

 

“Zayn.” Liam grinned and ran his hand up Zayn’s jumper to brush against his nipple

 

“F-fuck… do you… do you know that you look really h-hot when you get all bossy and angry.” Zayn panted out as Liam continued to rub slow circles against his nipple and kiss his neck.

 

“You like that?” Liam asked.

 

“Mhm.” Zayn said and tightened his legs around Liam’s waist.

 

“You like being told what to do as well baby?” Liam pulled down the jumper to expose his collarbone and suck on it.

 

“I- I…” Zayn stammered out.

 

But Zayn couldn’t answer because the elevator doors pinged open. Zayn looked up to see it was his floor and gasped.

 

“L-Liam let me down.” Zayn squirmed in Liam’s hold until the man set him down.

 

“Alright baby. See you in a few hours. If you don’t come up there I’ll come down and carry you up myself.” Liam kissed him quickly.

 

“You don’t have to do that. I’ll be there.” Zayn flushed and moved out the elevator door.

 

“Zayn.” Zayn turned around halfway out the elevator and felt Liam grab his waist and plant his lips onto Zayn’s.

 

Zayn gasped feeling shocked but also reflexively sank into the soft feeling of Liam’s lips.

 

“Come up during your break and we’ll see if you can be a good boy for me.” Liam whispered and kissed him one last time

 

After a few seconds, Liam moved away grinning and pressed the button for his floor.

Zayn turned around on shaky legs and froze. The receptionist at the front desk was staring at him in shock, the phone dangling in her hand. Zayn felt his body freeze up at having been spotted doing exactly what he wanted to avoid. People already had ugly suspicions about him fucking Liam to get the job thanks to Duvall and he hadn’t wanted people to make nasty rumours out of something so good between him and Liam. They wouldn’t understand that Zayn was keeping that aspect in his personal life and not mixing it with his work. He would never let his feelings for Liam affect his work. And this was only a two-month internship and he would be gone in a few weeks. He didn’t need people’s judgement making this place harder to work at. He knew if Liam found out he would just get the people saying anything nasty fired, but Zayn didn’t want to create a mess like that.  Zayn gulped and tried to smile shakily at the receptionist but she just pressed her lips into a thin line and looked away shaking her head. Zayn’s face fell and he quickly turned to walk towards his office. He didn’t know if she would be going around and confirming the rumour that Zayn was in fact ‘fucking Mr. Payne’ like some people had thought since the cake incident. But if she did, he knew Duvall would make things worse for him and he had no idea what he would do after that. His own fear of confrontation would prevent him from telling Liam but his anxiety started bursting through his skin making him shake because he knew something bad could possibly come out of this. Not knowing what, when and where made every nerve in his body fire up in panic.  

 

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! I hope you liked it :) This fic is literally soooo long in my head, trying to organize all the scenes I've thought out in my head and putting them into chronological order and scrapping stuff that wouldn't be necessary and make it too too long is tough but I hope you're enjoying the it so far, lengthy-ness and all. Just once again I wanted to say the 'major angst angle' I've mentioned a few times that will happen mid-fic is still kind of far away although little angsty things happen along the way (this is for anyone really waiting for some major angst) so for the next bunch of chapters ziam are happy and its about developing their relationship and them going from sex/attraction to being madly in love. Also the major angst angle is not something you'd expect at all. Anyways I hope you liked the smut as well I've been sooooo nervous about it I procrastinated the entire last week with it but 1-2 friends pre-read it and they gave me such wonderful feedback it gave me the confidence to upload it. THANK YOU ALL I LOVE YOU AND YOUR SUPPORT BLOWS MY MIND!!!! <33 Let me know what you thought in the comments/tumblr/twitter. 
> 
>  
> 
> Urdu Words:  
> -tumh ne mujhe mar dala : you killed me  
> -chai : tea  
> -beta : son  
> -baba : dad  
> -phupo : aunt (dad's sister specifically)


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, the chapter is finally done. It's been long and stressful because not only was I having a lot going on in my life that was stressing me out and holding me back from writing but I got writers block too and struggled to write the chapter. But I finally figured out what I needed to do. It was the sequence of scenes that I was having trouble with because they're all leading up to a turning point in the fic and I didn't want to mess it up. But I finally finally know what to do so yay :) Anyways I'm going to explain some stuff in the end notes, for now I hope you enjoy the chapter. Thank you all for your patience and support. I love you all <33
> 
> (urdu words translated as always at the end)

 

 

Zayn stared into his coffee cup as he slowly stirred in the cream. His mind was making poetic comparisons to how the rich brown colour of the coffee was like Liam’s eyes and he couldn’t help but smile to himself.

 

Liam’s eyes. God. His eyes.

 

When they sparkled with happiness. When they had a bright glint in them as he teased Zayn. When they darkened with desire. When they went so black with lust as he fucked into him. The fond that shone in them as he looked at him sometimes. The most beautiful brown eyes Zayn had ever seen.

 

“What do you think Zayn?”

 

Zayn turned around from where he was fixing himself to a coffee cup and looked back to see Harry looking at him curiously.

 

“Sorry Haz what were you saying?” Zayn walked back towards his desk and settled down into it, taking a sip of his coffee.

 

“I was saying that I was going to film my new yoga routine video at Central Park. Do you want to come help me film it?” Harry asked him.

 

“Of course Haz.” Zayn gave him a smile.

 

“Great. I want to make the video good but also be completely honest about the routines I do and include my eating habits before and after a workout.” Harry said.

 

“Your videos are already good Harry you have nothing to worry about. And I’m sure they’re always honest.” Serayah looked up at Harry from where she sat across him.

 

“Not always honest.” Zayn shot Harry a look who grinned sheepishly.

 

“What do you mean?” Serayah inquired.

 

“Harry’s a little shit. When he first started vlogging and I would show up in his videos sometimes, people started to think we were dating and Harry knew and didn’t correct them because he was racking up views.” Zayn shook his head at Harry who laughed.

 

“It’s not my fault. People really shipped us and I didn’t want to let them down.” Harry said with a wide grin.

 

“So you’re a clickbait whore too?” Serayah asked.

 

“He is!” Zayn laughed as Harry looked at them shocked.

 

“Hey! I’ll have you know I make quality videos that I work my ass off for. That was the only slightly shady thing I did. And it wasn’t technically a lie. I just acted like I hadn’t seen all the comments talking about how cute of a couple we were or the fan-pages that popped up on Tumblr.” Harry bit his lip on a laugh as Zayn tossed a pencil at his head.

 

“Until I noticed.” Zayn said.

 

“How did that work out Harry?” Serayah laughed.

 

“Not so good.” Harry grimaced.

 

“I bet.” Serayah said with a laugh and checked her watch. “I’m in the mood for a hotdog today. Anyone else wanna join me for lunch?”

 

“I don’t eat greasy food but I’ll join you anyways.” Harry said.

 

“I think Amanda’s going to join Cara for lunch when she gets back. What about you Zayn?” Serayah turned to him.

 

“Hmm? Oh um. I have plans too. I think…” Zayn was supposed to meet Liam as promised but the little thing with the receptionist this morning had thrown him off. He didn’t know if that was a sign for him to slow down what he was doing with Liam. If more people started to catch on Zayn didn’t know how that would turn out.

 

“Stop thinking about that stupid receptionist. Nothing will happen babe. You have Liam on your side. Nobody can say or do anything to you in fear of him. Now go see him and stop overthinking.” Harry assured Zayn in a low voice.

 

Zayn sighed and nodded his head. He knew in his heart he couldn’t possibly stay away from Liam. It was unhealthy how much he wanted to be with Liam at all times. And Zayn’s heart couldn’t even bother worrying about the fact that people would know he was ‘sleeping with the boss’ because he was too absorbed in Liam and only Liam.

 

“Ok I um… I’m gonna go up then.” Zayn whispered to Harry.

 

“Alright babe, I hope you get your ass ate again since you love it so much.” Harry smirked.

 

“Fuck off Haz.” Zayn turned red and occupied himself with putting papers away.

 

“Not too sure what you were whispering about but I guess it’s just me and Harry?” Serayah asked.

 

“Yep. Zayn has better things to do.” Harry smiled and headed to the door grabbing his stuff.

 

“Well have fun doing whatever it is Zayn.” Serayah smiled at him as she exited.

 

Zayn shook his head and proceeded to finish off the last of his work. Then he took a deep breath and headed out of the office towards the elevators. The judgemental receptionist wasn’t at the front desk and Zayn felt relieved. He got into the elevator as a few people got out and he took it to the top floor. When he walked around to the lobby neither of the secretaries were there so he looked around confused. He walked towards the smaller office beside Liam’s and saw Ameera inside behind the desk and a man on the other side. He stopped hesitantly outside the door not knowing if he should knock when Ameera looked up mid-sentence and stopped.

 

“Zayn! Nice to see you. What’s up?” She smiled at him.

 

“Hi Ameera. No one was out there and I just- I was wondering if Liam is inside his office?” Zayn said.

 

“I’m pretty sure he is. He just got back from a meeting. You can go in.” Ameera replied.

 

“Ok. Thank you.” Zayn smiled politely then walked back towards Liam’s office.

 

He waited for a second outside the door then lifted his hand to knock gently. When there was no reply he knocked a little louder.

 

“Yeah! Come in!” Liam called out.

 

Zayn pushed open the heavy door and walked in slowly. When he shut the door behind himself he turned around to see Liam typing away on his laptop. Zayn felt a smile spread slowly across his face and he was about to call out a greeting because Liam hadn’t looked up yet, when he heard a strange third voice speaking up. Zayn looked around confused and saw no one else but he heard a man’s voice again and he realized Liam had a call on speaker phone.

 

“… so glad we’re taking this initiative.” The voice said.

 

“Well I’m glad I could convince you Mr. Jacobs,” Liam said and leaned back in his seat.

 

Liam’s looked up for a fraction from his screen and he noticed Zayn. His eyes brightened up and a languid smile spread across his face. Zayn bit his lip smiling and shuffled his feet where he stood. Liam signalled him to come forward and Zayn moved his feet to go towards Liam. When he climbed the few steps and rounded Liam’s desk to him, a full-blown smile was covering his own face. The man on speakerphone was still talking but Liam had his eyes glued to Zayn. He was leaning back in his seat and lazily stoking his beard as he grinned at Zayn.

 

“It is absolutely vital we begin this soon.” Liam said.

 

“What?” Zayn whispered.

 

Liam pointed to his phone and smiled. The he put his hand out and motioned Zayn to come even closer. Zayn flushed a little at what Liam was indicating then he inched forward and stopped beside Liam. Liam rolled his eyes fondly and grabbing Zayn’s hand he tugged him forward till Zayn fell into his lap. Zayn blushed and blinked up slowly at Liam who cradled Zayn’s face with one hand and adjusted his glasses with the other.

 

“Hey you,” Liam said.

 

“Hello.” Zayn couldn’t help the smile on his face and how he knew his whole body was thrumming with joy.

 

Liam ran his hand along Zayn’s face and into the thick of his hair then pulled his head forward to join their lips. Zayn sighed into the kiss and adjusted his body so he was straddling Liam. He ran his hands up Liam’s arms and wrapped his arms around his neck. Liam wrapped his own thicker arms around Zayn’s waist and pulled him closer so that the heat of their bodies was touching at every point. Liam’s lips were moving against his own with a gentle pressure and Zayn couldn’t help the small noises escaping his mouth. Liam’s hands moved down to cup his ass and when he squeezed it Zayn mewled and Liam kissed him harder to swallow it up.

 

“…Mr. Payne?”

 

Liam moved back from him and Zayn groaned a little bit. Liam squeezed his ass admonishingly.

 

“Right here Mr. Jacobs.” Liam said as he stroked along Zayn’s face.

 

“Thought I lost you,” The man chuckled. “As I was saying we’ll continue talking about this when we meet next week. I like where we’re heading so far.”

 

“Sounds good. I’ll be in touch soon.” Liam said and reached forward to end the call as the man on the other end said goodbye.

 

Zayn could feel his skin buzzing with electricity as Liam slowly leaned back and drank him in with his eyes. Zayn felt breathless and strung out as Liam observed at him with dark eyes.

 

“You getting worked up with just a few kisses is something I can’t stop thinking about. The way your eyes go hazy and you start shaking just by me kissing you, there’s never been a bigger turn on baby.” Liam said and kissed him softly.

 

“Y-you. It’s all you. You make me feel like I’m out of my mind.” Zayn pressed his face into Liam’s neck and sighed. “Every second of every day I can’t stop thinking about you and the things you do to me.”

 

“Hmm. Like what? What do you think about?” Liam said and rubbed his hands along Zayn’s back.

 

“Like… all the things you say and do… everything you did the past few days. The way you touch me, kiss me… and everything else.” Zayn murmured.

 

“Do you think about it and get so turned on that you have to touch yourself?” Liam whispered into his ear.

 

Zayn stilled in Liam’s arms and gulped. He kept his face pressed to Liam’s neck and didn’t dare move back because he knew a full-on crimson coloured blush was covering his face. To be honest he may have been so overwhelmed with the thought of Liam a few times that he had gotten himself off thinking of him. Last night he couldn’t stop thinking of the way Liam had fucked him, rimmed him and given him those multiple blow jobs over the weekend and he found his hand wandering down to relieve himself of the throbbing pressure he felt in his lower abdomen. And yes, when he came it was with a whispered choke of Liam’s name into his pillow. But admitting that out loud would just guarantee him never ending embarrassment.

 

“Umm…” Zayn stuttered feeling his heart rate pick up.

 

“You do don’t you?” Liam moved Zayn back and he was smirking a little bit.

 

“I don’t know.” Zayn mumbled keeping his eyes down.

 

Liam ran his thumb along his cheek; that he knew was burning red. Zayn’s hands were trembling in his lap and he squeezed them to stop the trembling. He was starting to get hard just by Liam’s words and remembering himself getting off to the image of Liam fucking him.

 

“Did you do it last night after I dropped you home?” Liam’s voice was deeper now and Zayn knew if he looked up, Liam’s eyes would be mirroring that depth.

 

“M-maybe.” Zayn whispered.

 

“Show me.” Liam said and ran his hand up Zayn’s thigh to cup his dick.

 

Zayn choked out a whimper and clutched Liam’s arms. When he looked up, he saw that Liam’s brown eyes were clouded with lust. Zayn reached up a shaky hand to adjust his own glasses, which his mom always said was a nervous habit, but he didn’t know what else to do with his hands or where to look.

 

“Sh-show you wh-what?” Zayn asked shakily as Liam stroked a lazy finger over the front of Zayn’s jeans where his dick was filling up.

 

“Show me how you touch yourself when you think of me.” Liam said and started kissing heatedly along the side of his neck.

 

“L- Liam…” Zayn swallowed nervously as Liam started running his tongue along his neck, drawing small shapes.

 

“Be a good boy Zayn.” Liam murmured and that put the nail in the coffin for Zayn.

 

Zayn moaned quietly at the words and at Liam sucking a spot under his ear. He felt his dick twitch and Liam squeezed it gently over his jeans.

 

“I- I… h-how would I…” Zayn said breathlessly.

 

“Take off everything waist down.” Liam instructed and squeezed his hip.

 

Zayn gulped and nodded slowly then got off Liam. He moved back a few steps and lowered his hand to the button on his jeans. Liam had turned his chair around to face him and was looking at Zayn with shameless, unhidden desire. One of his hands rubbed along his jaw and the other was thrown over the arm of the chair. Zayn realized he had been standing frozen for too long when Liam raised an eyebrow at him. He slid his shoes off his feet first, then unbuttoned his pants. He pulled the zipper open and pushed his pants down. When they dropped around his ankles he raised his hands to the waistband of his boxers. He hesitated for a second looking at Liam who was moving his eyes slowly over Zayn’s body. When he looked at Zayn’s face again he nodded at him. Zayn took a deep breath and dropped his boxers. He kicked them away and looked back towards Liam who was lazily stroking his dick over his dress pants. Zayn bit his lip because that image was too much and he felt his own pleasure start to become thicker in his body.

 

Liam motioned him to come forward and Zayn walked back over slowly to straddle Liam again.

 

“One day I’ll get you to strip very slowly for me. Maybe move these hips like I know you can.” Liam said and squeezed Zayn’s thin hips through his jumper.

 

Zayn gasped and Liam ran his hands up along his bare thighs. He trailed his fingers along the highly sensitive skin of Zayn’s inner thighs but he wouldn’t move further up where Zayn needed to be touched.

 

“L-Liam.” Zayn started rocking forward a little bit.

 

“Show me.” Liam said and withdrew his hands.

 

Zayn took a shaky breath knowing what Liam was asking for again. But the thing was, he didn’t know if he could do this in front of Liam. What if he did something stupid that turned Liam off?

 

“Baby.” Liam kissed him and nipped his lower lip. “Be good for me and show me what you do when you think about me late at night, alone in your room.”

 

“O-okay.” Zayn gulped.

 

Zayn lowered his hand shakily to his own thigh and started running it up slowly. He didn’t dare meet Liam’s eyes rather he looked down at his hand. He pushed up the jumper he was wearing as his hand moved further up. He started stroking his cock tentatively and felt his body spark with arousal. Just the fact that he was sitting in Liam’s lap doing this was pushing him so close to the edge already. Zayn gripped his cock more firmly and closed his eyes as he started stroking himself the way he did when he was too consumed with pleasure. He twisted his hand just how he liked to and he let out a gasp and dropped his head to Liam’s shoulder. He felt a tight grip on his thigh and that spurred him on. He knew he was moaning as he stroked himself faster, and feeling Liam’s cock harden under him, he realized Liam was getting turned on too. Zayn moved back and feeling the need for something more, he whimpered desperately and kissed Liam. Zayn knew he was being sloppy but Liam slowed the kiss down to a more passionate and slow one. When they broke apart he blinked his eyes open at Liam to see the man’s eyes so dark, there was no brown showing. Liam brought two fingers up to Zayn’s mouth and tapped on his lips.

 

“Suck.” Liam said and gently pushed his fingers into Zayn’s mouth.

 

Zayn moaned softly and sucked on Liam’s fingers. The combination of sucking on Liam’s fingers, stroking his own cock his hand sticky with precome, and rubbing back against Liam’s hard-on, was all bringing Zayn so close to the edge he felt ready to explode. Suddenly Liam withdrew his fingers and Zayn felt his hand run around his body. Liam lifted his jumper at the back and Zayn gasped knowing where this was headed. He felt Liam’s wet fingers press against his hole and Zayn moaned louder than he had before and his hand started moving faster against his cock. He felt Liam push one finger in gently and Zayn cried out and fell against Liam again. He didn’t care what he looked like anymore because the feeling of his own hand on his cock and Liam’s finger gently pumping into him was too much. He felt himself being lifted and Zayn opened his eyes to see Liam push a few things off his desk and lay him down.

 

“Keep going baby. Don’t stop till you come.” Liam instructed then stood up over him.

 

Zayn blinked up at Liam breathlessly as the man pushed his thighs apart to stand between them. Liam pushed Zayn’s jumper up to expose his entire torso then leaned down to kiss down his body. Zayn sighed out and went back to pumping his cock. He knew he was close because his stomach was clenching and the pressure was elevated. He felt Liam push a finger into him again and he choked out a moan, his free hand falling to the side and clutching at papers on the side of Liam’s desk.

 

“Liam…” Zayn whimpered out.

 

Liam’s finger brushed his prostrate and Zayn cried out as he felt his entire body go up in flames. He brought his legs up and placed his feet on the desk to give himself some more balance. Liam started mouthing along his body, still moving his fingers relentlessly. Zayn was so close to his climax; his vision was blurred and his movements were sloppy. Liam put his hand over Zayn’s on his cock and joined him in stroking him off. Zayn cried out Liam’s name and went still as he covered his hand and Liam’s in his come.

 

“Fuck baby boy. You have no idea what you look like right now.” Liam practically groaned.

 

Zayn opened his eyes panting, his heart was still beating uncontrollably and his body was heated and he felt so blissed out and loose-limbed. He felt a kiss being pressed to his lips and his glasses which had gone askew being adjusted again. Zayn gave Liam a dopey smile and the man grinned back at him. He grabbed some tissues and cleaned up his hand and Zayn as well. The he took Zayn’s hands and helped him sit up on the desk. Feeling completely limp, Zayn fell forward against Liam who chuckled and wrapped his arms around him.

 

“You good baby?” Liam asked and carded fingers through his hair.

 

Zayn hummed and sighed softly. The gentle way Liam stroked his hair and kissed his temple was unleashing bursts of dopamine, especially after coming down from his orgasm. Liam moved back and cupped Zayn’s face and pressed a few soft kisses to his lips.

 

“The sweetest.” Liam said.

 

“How ‘bout you?” Zayn moved back and blinked at Liam.

 

Liam grinned and rubbed his thumb across Zayn’s bottom lip. “I’m fine.”

 

Zayn bit his lip and looked down then back up at Liam. He knew Liam was still hard and he wanted to do something about it. There was something he had been thinking about a lot but didn’t know how to go about it. Just the idea brought a blush to his face. He had never done this before but he wanted to do it with Liam. So fucking badly. He wanted to taste Liam. He wanted to have Liam’s thick cock in his mouth and feel him pulsing on his tongue. He wanted Liam to grab his hair and fuck into his mouth. But he obviously had no experience and what if he fucked up?

 

“Something wrong?” Liam tilted his face up and looked at him questioningly.

 

“I um. I kind of… wanted to do something for you… but I… never mind I would probably be bad at it.” Zayn mumbled and turned his face down again.

 

“What is it?” Liam gripped his chin firmly and turned his face up again. “You could never be bad at anything. Now tell me.” Liam said gently.

 

“I… I want to… I want to blow you.” Zayn said in a low voice feeling his face turn red.

 

Zayn felt Liam’s hand in his hair tighten all of a sudden. Zayn whimpered and looked up slowly at Liam whose eyes were dark again and his jaw was tight.

 

“That- is something I’ve been thinking about since we were in that café the day we met and you wouldn’t stop licking and biting your lips. But baby, only if you want to and are ready.” Liam said.

 

“I- I want to… really badly… I hope you don’t think I’m bad at it…” Zayn said.

 

“You won’t be. Trust me.” Liam said and kissed his forehead.

 

“Always.” Zayn grinned weakly remembering their back and forth words from two nights ago.

 

Liam grinned and kissed him softly then sat back on his chair. He looked at Zayn pointedly and Zayn bit his lip and slowly slid to the ground in front of Liam. He shuffled forward on his knees the floor hurting his bare knees but he didn’t care. He looked up at Liam nervously and saw the man inhale sharply his eyes darkening.

 

“Fuck. Baby you look… your fucked out hair, your glasses, your red cheeks, dressed in only my jumper… you look like an angel, yet so sinful.” Liam groaned and traced his finger along Zayn’s cheekbone.

 

Zayn turned his head a little and kissed Liam’s wrist feeling his nerves taking over his body. He looked up at Liam for affirmation then moved his hands forward slowly and unbuckled Liam’s belt with shaky hands. He unbuttoned Liam’s pants and pulled the zipper down. Liam ran gentle fingers down the side of his face as Zayn slowly drew Liam’s cock out of his black Calvin Klein boxers. Liam’s cock was thick and hard and Zayn felt his toes clench remembering how it felt thrusting inside of him. He really _really_ wanted to feel it inside his mouth too.

 

“Remember to go slow baby and relax your throat.” Liam murmured.

 

Zayn nodded feeling his body thrumming with excitement but also anxiousness. He gripped Liam’s cock and pumped it slowly a few times. He looked up Liam who groaned and ran his hand into the thick of Zayn’s hair. Zayn swallowed shakily then leaned forward and kitten licked at the tip of Liam’s cock. Liam inhaled sharply and that prompted Zayn to lick a little more bravely. The taste of Liam’s pre-come at the tip of his cock was bitter, but Zayn liked it. It was all Liam.

 

“Fuck baby.” Liam said in a husky voice.

 

Zayn whimpered softly and started to lick up and down Liam’s cock. He then lowered his mouth onto the shaft and moaned feeling Liam’s cock pulse against his tongue. Liam was gripping his hair tightly and the stinging feeling only sent shocks of pleasure down his spine. Zayn moved his mouth up and down trying not to choke himself. Liam’s cock was thick and long and he needed to go slow if he didn’t want to choke.

 

“Baby boy I knew that mouth could do everything I imagined it could. You have no idea how amazing you are.” Liam said rubbed Zayn’s cheek where Liam’s cock was.

 

Zayn moaned around it then popped off and took a deep breath. He licked his lips and looked up at Liam who was watching him with dark hungry eyes and a parted mouth. Zayn stroked Liam’s cock slowly then lowered his mouth again. He felt braver this time and alternated between licking around the head and up and down the shaft while stroking the part he couldn’t lower his mouth onto.

 

“Kind of want to fuck your mouth but it’s your first time so maybe not today.” Liam groaned out.

 

“Will you um… will you come in my mouth?” Zayn asked hesitantly. He really did want to taste Liam.

 

“Do you want me to?” Liam asked.

 

Zayn nodded slowly feeling his body heat up. Liam grinned at him and leaned down to kiss him then moved back as Zayn returned to take Liam into his mouth again. It was only after a few more moments that Zayn felt Liam grip his hair again and suck in a breath.

 

“I’m gonna come baby.” Liam said, his voice thick.

 

Zayn continued what he was doing and tried to take Liam further into his throat. Just when he felt the tip of Liam’s dick hit the back of his throat, Liam came in his mouth. Zayn choked out a moan feeling his mouth fill up but didn’t move away. When Liam gently withdrew his cock, Zayn felt a little bit of the come dribble down his lips. He looked up at Liam as he swallowed the bitter liquid and licked his lips trying to get the remaining.

 

“Fucking hell baby.” Liam breathed out and looked at Zayn with wonder.

 

He reached forward and wiped some of his come off of Zayn’s chin and lips and fed it into his mouth. Zayn held onto Liam’s wrist moaning softly and licked Liam’s fingers clean. The entire time Liam looked at him with pure want in his eyes. When he took away his fingers he tucked himself back into his pants then pulled Zayn into his lap swiftly. Zayn didn’t have a second to say anything because Liam kissed him. His lips moved hungrily against his and Zayn groaned knowing Liam could probably taste himself but it was all a turn on. Liam kissed him thoroughly then moved back and smiled at him.

 

“Hard to believe it’s your first time. You were incredible.” Liam kissed his cheek.

 

“Well when you have a best friend like Harry who likes to go into detail about all his sexual activities, you pick up some pointers.” Zayn smiled and hid his face against Liam’s neck.

 

“I should remember to thank Harry then.” Liam chuckled and Zayn smacked him weakly.

 

“So I was good?” Zayn asked softly.

 

“So good baby. Like your mouth was made for my cock.” Liam said.

 

“Liam…” Zayn groaned.

 

“My good boy.” Liam murmured and Zayn sucked in a breath hearing the words that made him feel all flustered and worked up.

 

“Do you want lunch now?” Liam asked.

 

“Mmm…” Zayn hummed into Liam’s chest.

 

“What do you want to eat?” Liam asked and stroked his hair.

 

“Fries. Post-orgasm is making me crave fries.” Zayn said and moved back to grin at Liam.

 

Liam looked at him fondly and kissed his forehead. “Then fries you shall have.”

 

“With a chocolate milkshake as well?” Zayn asked hooking his arms around Liam’s neck.

 

“I’ll get you 10 milkshakes.” Liam said and sprinkled kisses on his face.

 

“One is good.” Zayn said feeling his stomach swoop with happiness.

 

“Let’s go then.” Liam said. He helped Zayn onto his feet and gathered Zayn’s discarded pants and boxers.

 

Zayn gave Liam a smile as the man helped him into his pants and kissed him gently. They went to Liam’s bathroom to wash up and Zayn tried to fix his hair as much as he could feeling frustrated while Liam shook his head smiling. When Zayn finished pouting as his hair, Liam took his hand and led him out to the elevators.

 

“Oh! I left my phone on the 45th floor! I was in a bit of a hurry to get up here and I totally forgot it. I just need to stop there for a second.” Zayn said as they got in.

 

“Of course babe.” Liam punched the button for the 45th floor and drew Zayn into his arms.

 

Zayn leaned back against Liam’s chest and held onto Liam’s arms that were wrapped around him. Liam kissed along his ear as the elevator moved downwards. When it came to the 45th floor, Zayn moved out of Liam’s arms reluctantly to leave the elevator.

 

“You can go down I’ll see you in the lobby.” Zayn said.

 

“It’s fine Zayn. I’ll wait right here.” Liam walked out as well and leaned against the wall beside the elevator.

 

“Ok.” Zayn said and glanced around. Noticing that no one was around, he breathed a sigh of relief.

 

Zayn walked into the office and quickly retrieved his phone and wallet from his bag choosing to leave that there. He was heading back towards the elevators when Duvall walked out of his office followed by Penny and the receptionist from this morning. They all stopped when they saw him and the looks on their faces made a chill run down Zayn’s spine.

 

“Mr. Malik.” Duvall said in an icy tone.

 

“M-Mr. Duvall I was just taking my uh my lunch break.” Zayn stammered out sensing what was coming. Penny had a neutral look on her face but the receptionist had a smug expression.

 

“You can forget about that for a second. Ms. Pearson here just told me about something she saw this morning. Now I’m wondering what I should believe because you so clearly insisted I was wrong last time.” Duvall bit out.

 

“Mr. Duvall-“ Zayn started shakily.

 

“No. I want to make it very clear that I don’t need this kind of behaviour in my workplace. Did you only want this job so you could seduce and screw the CEO or did said CEO only give you this job because you were screwing him? Either way that’s not something I can tolerate. Mr. Payne may not let us fire you but you best believe I’m going to transfer you and make sure you learn about what working hard for a living means. And not fucking your way into it.” Duvall’s eyes were wide with anger and even Penny and the receptionist moved away a little.

 

“Mr. Duvall I don’t- why does it bother you so much? I’m doing a really good job here plus I’ll be gone in a few weeks-“ Zayn said feeling his voice crack.

 

“You want to continue acting smart? I could do much worse.” Duvall said.

 

“Like what?” An angry voice said.

 

Everyone turned to see Liam standing behind Duvall, fury so evident on his face.  Duvall’s face drained of all colour not expecting Liam to be standing there.

 

“Mr. Payne-“ Duvall began.

 

“Shut up John. You’re a poor excuse for a human being right now. Unprofessional and disgusting. You couldn’t even take Zayn aside to begin your bullshit speech but started it right in the middle of the office. And if that’s how you want to play, so be it. I’m going to do this right here too.” Liam came forward till he was right in front of Duvall and glared at him.

 

“Your inability to stop harassing people below you for no reason is something I can not handle anymore. Your weird obsession with the fact that Zayn and I are involved is beyond me. Why does it bother you who I sleep with? Is he doing anything to create issues with the work? No he isn’t. Plus he’s not even a permanent employee so for the love of God what the fuck is your problem?” Liam spat out.

 

Everyone around them was silent not even daring to breathe. Zayn was so shocked at everything that had happened in the past few minutes he wasn’t even sure if he was reliving this confrontation again.

 

“Mr. Payne-“ Duvall said.

 

“I’m not done!” Liam bellowed. “Now I was going to do this in private in the next few days but since you have no empathy for people working under you, I will do the same. You’ve been fucking with clients’ contracts and I’ve been getting very angry phone calls. I did not hire you to fuck over the company I so carefully built. You were alright when you first started, but now you’ve been creating problems behind my back that is going to give my management firm a bad name. Not to mention your disgusting behaviour as of late. People are refusing to work with you and they’re our A-list clients. And they’re right, what you’re demanding of them and putting into their contracts without running it by me is unacceptable. Plus what I heard just now- no. No more John. You speaking like this to someone I care about is the last straw.” Liam said.

 

“What do you mean?” Duvall asked sounding scared.

 

“You’re fired. Effective immediately. Get out.” Liam said in a cold tone.

 

Zayn sucked in a breath. This was not what he was expecting. But it wasn’t Zayn’s fault the man was getting fired. He was doing shady deals and probably deserved to leave in the first place.

 

“What?” Duvall sounded panicked.

 

“You’re fired. You two as well since you seem to indulge in this behaviour and carry out most of John’s unauthorized orders.” Liam looked at the two women behind Duvall.

 

They both looked awfully shocked but were too stunned in fear to say anything.

 

“Come on Liam. We’ve been through so much working here. I’ll fix the contracts… I mean who can do this job-“ Duvall started pathetically.

 

“May will.” Liam said.

 

“May?” Duvall asked incredulously.

 

“Yes May. May Lee. When she gets back from her grandmother’s funeral in Seoul I’m going to promote her to your position. She’s incredible at her job and I’ve been considering it for some time. You’re not fit for my company. I don’t know what I was thinking. Get out. Now.” Liam said poisonously.

 

“I’ll talk to human resources-“ Duvall started meekly.

 

Liam laughed. “This is my company John. I hold all the power. I can let you or anyone go and there’s no questions asked. Plus human resources are aware of all these unauthorized deals and contract amendments you’ve been making. You were never going to stay even before today. So before I call security, get out. You- are fired. You two as well.” Liam said and turned around.

 

“This is a reminder to anyone who tries to mess with my company or pokes around in my personal life because frankly its nobody’s business who I sleep with. If it does bother you, you’re welcome to follow these guys.” Liam stared at everyone present in the office who nodded slowly or just stared at him a little stunned.

 

“Leave within the next half hour. All three of you.” Liam spared one angry look at the three statuesque figures then took Zayn’s hand and led him away.

 

Zayn passed by Harry, Serayah and Amanda who all stood there dazed, clearly having witnessed everything. Harry gave Zayn a small reassuring smile as Zayn followed Liam out. Liam angrily smacked the elevator button and went it opened up, Zayn followed him in. Liam was radiating anger and Zayn stood beside him quietly not knowing how to proceed.

 

“I’m sorry Liam… because of me-“ Zayn said in a small voice.

 

“Zayn are you kidding me? Why are you apologizing?” Liam asked shocked.

 

Zayn couldn’t meet Liam’s eyes but after a few seconds he felt himself get pulled into Liam’s strong arms.

 

“Baby baby baby. You have to stop blaming yourself for things that have nothing to do with you. John was going to get fired regardless. I planned on doing it in the next few days. And he was saying awful things to you baby. I’m _not_ going to stand by while anyone talks like that to you. An asshole like that can’t work for me.” Liam reassured him and kissed his face.

 

Zayn nodded slowly and hugged Liam tighter.

 

“I feel bad for them like-“

 

“Don’t feel bad. They will all get severance packages despite not deserving anything. I don’t need people like that working for me. Don’t worry about it okay?” Liam said and squeezed him

 

“Okay.” Zayn said and looked up at Liam.

 

Liam smiled and kissed him and Zayn sank into it realizing that maybe Liam was right.

 

**

 

 

The next couple of days passed by in a blur. With Duvall gone it seemed as if the entire RED office had taken a collective sigh of relief. It was evident that many people had been ready for Duvall to leave for some time now. Despite the workload increasing after his departure nobody minded. May’s arrival as their new boss happened a few days after Duvall had left but everyone instantly clicked with her. Zayn could see why Liam had promoted her to Duvall’s position. She was intelligent, witty and confident. Whereas Duvall seemed to instill fear to get people below him to obey his every command, May exuded so much charm and had an easy-going yet hard-working nature that made everyone naturally fall under her command. It was easy to say that everyone was more than happy with Liam’s decision to fire Duvall and have May take his place. For the first time in weeks Zayn didn’t feel as anxious walking into and working on the 45th floor.

 

It was Friday afternoon and another long day at work was coming to a close. Zayn followed May out of her office where she had called him in to discuss his performance so far at the company.  

 

“You type faster than even I do Zayn. I was impressed. From now on I’ll have you sit in on all my meetings because you take notes the quickest and the most accurate from everyone else. I will definitely not be having, what’s her name, Amanda, back in there. Just promise me you won’t spend your time ogling handsome athletes when they come in for meetings like she does.” May grinned at Zayn as they stopped near the intern’s room.

 

“I won’t.” Zayn smiled back at her.

 

“Or maybe just one certain ex-athlete? Current CEO?” May teased and grinned at him.

 

Zayn turned a furious red colour and cleared his throat. Two days ago when there had been an office-wide meeting for all the employees in the big conference room two floors down, Liam had taken it upon himself to see how quickly he could get Zayn to combust in public.

 

_Zayn found himself pinned under Liam’s gaze as always for most of the meeting when the man had finished giving his speech and some of the other employees were droning on. Now that people were well aware that he was involved with Liam, Zayn felt himself trying harder to draw even less attention to himself. People were already noticing him more and looking at him curiously as if thinking ‘oh so that’s who the boss is fucking.’ It made Zayn feel nervous and he shied away from Liam’s touches and looks in the office even more than before. It was torture because the more Zayn shied away, the more Liam came on stronger. Zayn had spent majority of the meeting biting his lips raw and feeling his cheeks heat up every time he caught Liam’s eye from way across the room and the man passed him a small smirk or just looked at him intently rubbing his mouth. At one point in the meeting Liam texted him. Zayn rolled his eyes initially at Harry having changed Liam’s contact name yet again, and this time it was something as ridiculous as ProfessionalAssEater™._

_From PAE™: my employees are currently going on about how proud they are to work for my company but all I can think about is ripping that blue shirt off you, spreading you out across this table and blowing you but keeping you on the edge till you’re a crying mess and then fucking you hard and quick till you’re shouting my name so loudly that the entire building hears how well you take my cock. How’s that for a Wednesday afternoon baby?_

_Zayn choked out an embarrassing sound and Harry shot him a weird look from beside him. Zayn had to shove his phone into his pocket and try to avoid Liam’s eyes for the rest of the meeting because he knew his face matched the red lettering of the company’s logo written across the very folder he clutched tightly. Liam had probably realized he had made Zayn feel flustered and kept teasing him like the devil Zayn knew he was by sending texts like:_

_From PAE™: kind of want to fuck you while you wear nothing but your glasses. You’re a walking wet dream._

_From PAE™: your blushing is actually the sexiest part about you. Makes me want to do every dirty thing possible to turn you into a fucked out blushing mess._

_From PAE™: I could eat you out on this very table baby boy, I know how much you’d love that. You’re my kinky little freak._

_Zayn had to physically glare at Liam which was hard to do considering how madly he was blushing from head to toe. Liam looked like he was controlling his laughter which was threatening to burst any second._

_To PAE™: stopppppp. Your life goal is to embarrass me this isn’t fair._

_Liam grinned at him and his fingers moved over his phone again in a very discreet manner so no one in the room could really tell how their boss wasn’t really paying any attention to the presentation._

_From PAE™: of course it is. Especially when you blush like that and get so flustered. And besides, I can’t help but NOT be constantly thinking of you especially when I have this as my home screen._

_Zayn opened the attached image Liam had sent him and felt a smile break out across his face along with a blush. Liam had taken that picture a few days ago when they had been at his place. They had been at Red earlier in the evening where Harry had taken it upon himself to dedicate ‘Into You’ to Zayn as he joined Mateo the DJ up in the booth. Liam had taken him back to his place afterwards and fucked him against his windows as promised from their first night. Afterwards they lay blissed out and loose-limbed, curled up on Liam’s thick and comfortable carpet watching TV. Zayn was wearing just Liam’s button up which fell to his mid-thighs. It looked positively huge on him but he loved wearing Liam’s clothes. Liam had been drawing shapes on his legs as he texted on his phone simultaneously. Zayn remembered Liam had looked over at him and looked at Zayn with this ardent fire in his eyes. Zayn had smiled at him curiously, albeit a little nervously, because Liam still made him so_ so _nervous, but Liam just simply said that he was beautiful. Zayn had brought his hands up to cover his face as he blushed deeply and Liam had taken a picture of him. Zayn looked at the picture and couldn’t believe it. A picture of him, in just Liam’s dress shirt, spread out on the carpet, his bare legs the focus of it where Liam’s hand rested on his thigh. His messy hair and his glasses resting on his red, grinning face. A dark love bite could be seen on his neck and one on his collarbone. Liam had this as his home screen and Zayn felt his insides melt into hot lava. Zayn had been smiling to himself for so long at the memory that another text coming through broke him out of it._

_From PAE™: plus the way you moan so prettily when I eat you out is music to my ears. Need to hear it now._

_Zayn huffed and glared weakly at Liam who winked back at him and flicked his tongue suggestively. He then grinned wickedly causing every nerve of Zayn’s body to fire up. Zayn inhaled deeply to calm himself then opened his contacts and changed Liam’s contact name from the one Harry had created to a new one, ‘Shaytan.’_

_When the meeting ended, Liam texted him to stay behind. Zayn’s heartbeat was out of control but he lingered behind pretending to clean up, while Liam thanked the people who had done the presentation. Harry had walked out making lewd rimming innuendos and Zayn had thrown a cup at his head. When the massive conference room was empty, Zayn turned to look at Liam who watched him intently for a few seconds. Then he came forward and without a word, threw Zayn onto the table and kissed him possessively and heatedly. Zayn forgot all his previous ministrations and moaned into Liam’s mouth and let the older man carry out every filthy promise he had made in the texts._

“You’ve been zoned out for a good five minutes. Are you okay?”

 

Zayn snapped out of his thoughts and realized he was standing with May outside the intern’s room. His brain always teleported him back to the hot and electrifying moments he spent in Liam’s arms, or pinned underneath him.

 

“Oh. I uh… sorry. Just remembered an errand my mom had told me to do.” Zayn lied weakly.

 

“Mom. Sure.” May laughed and squeezed his arm. “I’ll see you on Monday Zayn, have a good weekend.”

 

“Thank you. You too.” Zayn called out weakly as May walked away.

 

“Finally. I’ve been waiting for so long. I was ready to start swinging at Amanda. Man, that bitch is annoying.” Harry came out of the room and tossed Zayn’s bag to him.

 

“Sorry Haz. May wanted to talk to me.” Zayn said and started following Harry to the elevators.

 

“It’s alright but if I had to hear about how summers in Monte Carlo are better than summers in Cannes for a few more minutes I would have shot myself.” Harry dropped his head onto Zayn’s shoulder as they waited for the elevator. Zayn laughed and wrapped an arm around Harry, dropping a kiss to his curly head.

 

“Poor you.” Zayn smiled.

 

“Poor me indeed. Horny and alone and being stuck in a room for several hours with Paris Hilton’s long lost twin while you’re getting fucked real good on the regular by a fine ass man. Life is unfair.” Harry groaned as they got into the elevator.

 

“Just because you haven’t had sex for a few months you think life is suddenly unfair?” Zayn questioned Harry with a quirked eyebrow.

 

“You’ve had sex now Zayn. Now Imagine having sex, no better yet, imagine having sex with Liam taken away from you for several months. Wouldn’t it suck?” Harry asked.

 

Zayn stared at Harry with a neutral expression although internally his body had a mini freak out just at the idea of having sex with Liam being taken away. Truly there could be nothing more cruel.

 

“Point made.” Harry grinned.

 

“Shut up.” Zayn smacked Harry lightly as they arrived at the ground floor.

 

They walked across the lobby along with multitudes of other people getting off work and leaving the building. Zayn took out his phone wondering what Liam would be doing or where he would be right now. He had seen Liam yesterday and he missed him terribly. Liam had meetings throughout lunch so they couldn’t spend that hour together like they usually did. His body and heart had become so attached to the man that going one day without physically meeting or speaking was causing him to feel a little off.

 

“Sugar daddy alert.” Harry nudged him.

 

“Your list of names gets longer doesn’t it?” Zayn shook his head at Harry but his heartbeat was picking up already just with the idea of Liam being in the vicinity.

 

They were just exiting the building and Zayn noticed that outside the building, at the corner where there was an unofficial smoking designation, Liam stood with Niall, Tom and Ameera. Liam and Tom were smoking while the others stood with them and they were all laughing at something Niall was saying. Liam had his head thrown back as he laughed and Zayn felt his own lips twitch. Liam’s laugh was beautiful. _He_ was so beautiful. He had his sleeves rolled up with his tattoos on full display and his tie was loosened. He indicated all signs of being relaxed and carefree at the moment. Zayn loved seeing Liam like this.

 

“Are you going to keep staring or actually go to your man? You’re been sulking all day. Go to him.” Harry shoved him forward a little.

 

Zayn glared at him and was about to open his mouth when Harry just rolled his eyes and grabbed Zayn’s hand and strode forward.

 

“… he’s a little bitch don’t listen to him, just try it…” Liam was mid-sentence when he saw Zayn approaching and his blinding grin made Zayn’s heart flutter.

 

“Zayn my man.” Tom thumped Zayn on the back as he flashed him a smile.

 

Zayn smiled back at Tom then beamed at the man whose attention he craved. He stepped forward, shy of everyone’s attention, and melted into Liam’s arms who tightened his own arms around Zayn, pulling him flush to his chest, and dropped a kiss to Zayn’s head.

 

“Bambi eyes,” Liam said fondly and Zayn flushed at the now all too familiar nickname which still incited such a reaction out of him.

 

“Hi.” Zayn said softly.

 

Liam leaned his head down to kiss Zayn’s lips gently. Zayn went lax against Liam’s body. He hadn’t kissed him in about a day now and he had missed it so fucking much. Liam tasted like nicotine, a little minty and something that Zayn could only associate with the man and he loved it so much.

 

“Are you about to put on a show in the middle of the street because not everyone is into exhibitionism.” Niall said from where he leaned against the wall beside Liam with a grin on his face.

 

Zayn flushed and buried his face into Liam’s chest who blew his smoke into Niall’s face as retaliation. Niall punched Liam’s arm then proceeded to pluck his cigarette from his fingers to take a drag of his own.

 

“Don’t pretend like you aren’t Niall.” Liam said.

 

“Niall’s interests go far beyond any normal human’s understanding.” Ameera scrunched her nose in Niall’s direction who blew her an exaggerated kiss.

 

“You’re Harry right? I think we met briefly at the club.” Tom stubbed out his cigarette as he looked at Harry.

 

“I am. You were a little drunk and pre-occupied when Liam introduced us but if I remember correctly you’re Tom?” Harry asked and Tom nodded.

 

“You guys coming over tonight to Liam’s for poker?” Tom asked.

 

Harry looked quizzically at Zayn who himself felt confused and looked up at Liam.

 

“We have poker nights at my place every now and then with a bunch of our friends. It used to be once a week but now we’re all so busy it’s once a month.” Liam explained.

 

“Yes but the stakes are higher too now. Since the occasion is so rare we make it worth it. Big bucks.” Niall rubbed his fingers together smiling.

 

“And you lose every time Horan so why even bother?” Ameera tilted her head and gave Niall an evil smile.

 

“Try me one day Khan. I’ll take everything you have.” Niall said.

 

“Ignore them. Do you guys want to come over as well?” Liam asked and looked down at Zayn.

 

“Umm,” Zayn wasn’t sure what to say. He wanted to be around Liam, he always wanted to be around Liam. But it was Friday, which meant big family dinner night. Doniya would be bringing the kids and his cousins were planning on coming over today as well.

 

“I have a family dinner every Friday,” Zayn sighed.

 

“And you can’t not attend?” Tom asked.

 

“Not really…” Zayn began slowly.

 

“Yes you can.” Harry was giving him a firm look.

 

“Come on baby. I want you to be there. I pretty much beat these losers every time but you’ll give me some extra luck.” Liam took Zayn’s chin between his thumb and forefinger and grinned at him.

 

Zayn flushed a little and smiled as Liam kissed him.

 

“Yeah Zayn come on.” Tom mimicked Liam’s tone which earned him a glare.

 

“Our families will be fine for one night.” Harry said trying to convince him.

 

Zayn sighed defeated, although his mind had been made when Liam had first asked him. “Okay. But I’m pinning it all on you Harry.”

 

“I’m okay with that.” Harry grinned.

 

“Do you want to come with me now?” Liam was rubbing Zayn’s hip where his arm was wrapped around Zayn’s waist, who was leaning his full weight onto Liam.

 

“Umm… no I think I should definitely go home and let my mom know about my plans otherwise she’ll be worried.” Zayn said in a low voice so only Liam could hear as the others fell into a conversation.

 

“I’ll drop you off.” Liam said pushing off the wall and taking Zayn’s hand.

 

“No Liam, you don’t have to come all the way to Brooklyn to drop me off and then come back to Manhattan. I’ll be fine on the subway.” Zayn tried to argue.

 

“No you won’t baby. It’s fine, come on.” Liam gripped his hand and turned towards where Patrick had been waiting with the car.

 

“See you guys in a few hours.” Liam said to Niall and Tom. “Harry we can drop you off too, I’m taking Zayn.”

 

“Ok cool. Bye guys.” Harry said to the remaining three.

 

Niall, Tom and Ameera called their goodbyes as well as Liam pulled open the car door for Zayn and Harry. Zayn smiled at Liam and kissed his cheek then slid in, followed by Harry. Liam got in as well and told Patrick to take them to Zayn’s house in Brooklyn.

 

**

 

“Why are you leaving Mamoo?” Mina had her tiny body wrapped around Zayn’s leg as he tried pulling his shoes on.

 

“Because meri jaan, I have to go somewhere with Harry.” Zayn picked her up and pressed a kiss to her chubby cheek.

 

It had taken an hour to convince his mom to let him be excused from the family dinner. He had even taken the liberty to let her know he’d probably be sleeping at Harry’s house. Tricia looked like she had wanted to ask him a few more questions but his Aunt had been in the kitchen as well so she didn’t go into detail. That was followed with Doniya and Amir teasing him and asking him if he was going to meet his secret boyfriend. Zayn had turned a beet red colour because although he and Liam had been ‘together’ for about three weeks now, they hadn’t started using that term. Zayn’s feelings were all-consuming and heart-achingly deep for the man but he felt himself go into panic whenever he thought about where Liam wanted this thing to go.

 

“Take me with you.” Mina pouted at him her huge doe-eyes melting something inside Zayn. She was usually so devilish but when she wanted something she whipped out her heartbreakingly innocent eyes and her adorable pout. Doniya always said she got it from Zayn.

 

“Sorry cupcake. There’s no other little kids there. But look you can have fun here. Alizeh and Noor are here too.” Zayn said pushing a curl off her face.

 

“But I don’t want to.” Mina’s lip trembled indicating she was about to cry.

 

“Minnie! Come here and let Mamoo leave!” Doniya walked out of the living room and pried Mina out of Zayn’s arms.

 

“NOO! I want Mamoo!” Mina cried trying to cling to Zayn.

 

“Just leave quickly Zayn or she won’t stop crying.” Doniya said.

 

“Will she be okay?” Zayn asked worried.

 

“Yes she’ll be fine don’t fall for her tricks. Go.” Doniya turned away with Mina. “And have fun sweetheart.”

 

“Thanks Baji.” Zayn flashed her a smile then went out the front door.

 

Harry was sat on the bottom step texting on his phone. Zayn ran down behind him and smacked his head lightly.

 

“Liam told me Patrick would be here in five minutes. I hope he gets here before anyone from my family sees. That would be a little hard to explain.” Zayn sighed.

 

“Explain what? That your sugar daddy sends his driver to pick you up?” Harry asked without taking his eyes off his phone.

 

“He’s not my sugar daddy you shit head. He’s my boyfr-“ Zayn paused and bit his lip.

 

Harry looked up at him with a small smile and pocketed his phone.

 

“Boyfriend?” Harry grinned so deeply his dimples started to show.

 

“No.” Zayn mumbled and started picking at a thread on his jeans where his knees stuck out through the rips in them.

 

“What do you mean?” Harry asked.

 

“I mean… I genuinely don’t know. I can’t… I can’t call him my boyfriend when I don’t know if he considers me his as well. Or if I’m a temporary fling. I’ve never had a boyfriend before so I don’t really know how to go about this.” Zayn said feeling a pinch in his gut.

 

“Babe. I’m pretty sure Liam is on the same page as you. I’ve seen the way he looks at you when you laugh or when you say some stupid joke. The way he touches you so gently and kisses you like he’s a man dying in a desert and you’re the first drop of water he’s seeing. He really likes you. Like a lot. And I’m sure he also thinks you’re at the boyfriend point.” Harry said this as he pulled Zayn into a side hug.

 

“Thanks Haz.” Zayn whispered and hugged him back.

 

A black car pulled up in front of the house and Zayn quickly shot up and pulled Harry up with him.

 

“Patrick’s here. Let’s go.” Zayn dragged Harry towards the car as fast as he could because he didn’t want his mom to look out from the kitchen and wonder why a chauffeur driven car was picking her son up.

 

“Zayn my shoe fell off!” Harry yelled and yanked back to grab his converse that had fallen off at the bottom of the steps.

 

“Go barefoot!” Zayn said frantically seeing a curtain move inside his living room.

 

“I don’t think so.” Harry pulled his shoe on and hopped back over.

 

Zayn got into the car as Harry fell in after him and closed the door.

 

“Hi Patrick. Can we go?” Zayn said rubbing his hands together anxiously.

 

“Evening Zayn. And Zayn’s friend.” Patrick smiled at them in the mirror and pulled the car away from the curb to start driving.

 

“Hello.” Harry smiled at Patrick then turned back to Zayn.

 

“I honestly think you should consider telling your parents you’re seeing someone now. It would make things easier.” Harry said.

 

“Baba knows and Maa may have an idea. And yes I want to tell them everything Harry but it’s kinda hard to explain that the man I’m seeing is like eight years older than me and also my boss. Plus my family have probably heard about Liam they’re not unaware like I was. And they wouldn’t exactly approve my dating a celebrity figure.” Zayn whispered to Harry.

 

“Well when you put it that way it sounds scary. But before they find out some other way and freak out. You should tell them. Remember how much my mom freaked out when I was dating Rick and he was only three years older than me.” Harry said in a sympathetic tone.

 

“I have to first be sure Liam is… that he wants more and not just like… not just a fling like I know my family would think.” Zayn dropped his head back and sighed.

 

“He does ZayZay. I know he does.” Harry squeezed his hand and Zayn smiled weakly back at him.

 

**

 

Zayn could hear loud music and laughter as he and Harry climbed the stairs in Liam’s penthouse to his roof. Zayn could feel cold sweats breaking out in his hands again. Just like the day of the wedding he was nervous about being around so many people who Liam knew but he didn’t. Zayn preferred to keep to himself and only felt comfortable around his family, Harry and now Liam. He wanted to be around Liam all the time and forced himself to be in situations he usually wouldn’t put himself in. He just hoped there would be nothing too out of his comfort zone tonight.

 

“Good?” Harry asked with a hand on the door.

 

“Yes.” Zayn said taking a deep breath.

 

Harry pushed open the door to the roof and the music spilled out accompanied with loud voices and laughs. The sun had started to set and the sky overhead was gold and pink and lamps all around the roof were lit up to give more light.

 

“Fucking hell. This is… wow. Wouldn’t mind having a place like this.” Harry said in awe as he looked around at the massive roof.

 

Zayn walked around towards the patio and saw a group of about ten guys around a large table. They were already in the middle of a poker game and everyone had drinks in front of them. Zayn also spotted a few of them with joints in their hands and he felt a nervous feeling settle into his stomach. He could see the rooftop bar on the side was lit up with lantern shaped lights as well and was covered with drinks. This was quite out of Zayn’s comfort zone but he felt safe in the knowledge that Liam was here and the man’s words about Zayn not having to do anything he didn’t feel comfortable with made him feel better.

 

“You just gonna stand here?” Harry mumbled.

 

“No…” Zayn said and stepped forward hesitantly because he couldn’t spot Liam.

 

Then as someone moved to the side he saw Liam. He was wearing a white t-shirt and a denim shirt open at the front and the sleeves rolled up. He had a snapback on as well and a joint was pressed between his lips as he grinned at something his friend was saying, his eyes bright. He looked so youthful whenever he dressed down and seeing him so casual and carefree brought a smile to Zayn’s face. Every side to Liam’s personality was amazing to Zayn and it made his heart flip out even more.

 

“Liam your boy is here.” Niall’s teasing voice called out from where he sat to Liam’s left.

 

Everyone sat at the table turned towards Zayn and he felt his cheeks heat up and his body turned rigid.

 

“When did you turn into a cradle robber Liam?” Someone asked and everyone burst out laughing.

 

Zayn could feel fire run through every vein in his body in place of his blood. He knew nobody meant any harm but such attention made him want to disappear into the floor.

 

“Fuck off Gabe.” Liam threw an empty can at the Gabe person and waved Zayn forward with a smile on his lips.

 

Zayn moved forward slowly aware of everyone’s eyes on him and when he was near Liam the man took his hand and gently pulled Zayn down into his lap.

 

“Hey baby,” Liam said and kissed him. Zayn closed his eyes and everyone else around him disappeared and all that mattered was Liam’s lips on his.

 

When someone wolf whistled as the kiss got deeper Zayn pulled away blushing.

 

“Bagged yourself a cutie Liam.” A guy across from them said as he puffed out smoke.

 

“Most of us have the ability to date good looking and interesting people Vince, unlike you who can only find people from the collective list of human garbage.” Liam said in a deadpan voice as he took a sip of his beer.

 

“Fuck you.” Vince said as everyone laughed at him.

 

“Guys this is Zayn and that’s Harry.” Liam nodded in Harry’s direction who had sat down in the chair Niall had pulled over for him.

 

Zayn realized he was stuck in Liam’s lap for now unless if he went and dragged over a chair which was highly unlikely right now with Liam’s arm wrapped tightly around his waist. Zayn smiled at everyone who nodded a hello to him.

 

“And as you know this is Niall, Tom, Josh you met him at his wedding, that’s Gabe, the idiot beside him is Vince, Kaushal, Devon, Umar, and Luke. Miguel is supposed to be here too but he’s running a little late.” Liam introduced everyone around the table and Zayn took in all their faces. Everyone seemed pretty friendly and that made him feel more at ease.

 

“So this is the Zayn you flew out to Paris?” Umar asked.

 

“One and only.” Liam smiled and kissed Zayn on his jaw.

 

“Nice.” Umar grinned at Zayn.

 

“So do you guys know how to play poker?” Tom asked as he started dealing out the cards for a new game.

 

“I do.” Zayn said.

 

“I played once but it was technically strip poker.” Harry said.

 

“Remember that time we played strip poker in sophomore year at the frat house Li? With those sorority girls? Good times. That was the last time I played strip poker I think.” Niall said.

 

“And you lost that too Niall. You were born to lose.” Liam shook his head as he smirked at Niall.

 

“Zayn since you’re sitting in Liam’s lap how about both of you just team up for now.” Tom grinned as he dealt Liam and Zayn just one set of cards.

 

“You comfortable baby? ‘Cus I really like you here.” Liam murmured into Zayn’s ear and kissed him on his neck.

 

“No sex around the table… yet.” Gabe yelled out at them.

 

“Take your orgy dreams elsewhere Gabe. It’s not happening.” Kaushal, who sat beside Gabe, said.

 

Zayn looked at them a little shocked then ducked his head to look at the cards Liam handed him.

 

“Even if we did consider having one, Gabe wouldn’t be allowed in. Dude I saw you when we were at you know that gentleman’s club and that wasn’t a pretty picture.” Liam laughed.

 

“You people go to those sex club parties?” Harry asked shocked.

 

“You’re too young to know about that stuff kid.” Tom patted his head.

 

“Hey I’m 18 and I think I would do well at a sex club.” Harry flashed his dimples.

 

“You would do well anywhere where sex is mentioned. You’re just horny Harry.” Zayn rolled his eyes.

 

Harry pouted as everyone laughed and Liam squeezed Zayn’s hip and kissed him. Everyone started pushing chips in as the game started again and Zayn let Liam throw in whatever he wanted to since he was just helping him. Throughout the game, Zayn whispered pointers to Liam and they kept getting ahead in the game. Zayn realized Liam was already the best at the table but with Zayn’s help he was crushing everyone else even more. To Zayn’s further shock he realized these people were crazy and weren’t playing for fifty or a hundred bucks like Zayn did with his dad and uncles, but rather they were playing for $20,000 currently.

 

“I hope I don’t lose you all that money.” Zayn looked at Liam seriously when it was just down to them and Vince.

 

Liam laughed fondly and wrapping his free arm around Zayn’s neck he tugged him forward and kissed him.

 

“Don’t worry baby. We’re not going to lose and even if we did it doesn’t matter. It’s just a game and that’s hardly anything to me.” Liam said.

 

“You’re a rich bitch.” Zayn said and giggled as Liam bit his earlobe playfully.

 

“What say Payno?” Vince asked him.

 

“I say you’re about to lose that trip you planned to Greece.” Liam said.

 

When they both showed their cards and Liam won, Vince groaned and dropped his head onto the table and Liam pulled Zayn into a kiss as the others cheered or hooted for them and laughed at Vince.

 

“You had help so you won.” Vince groaned.

 

“You would have lost anyways Vince.” Josh rubbed his back and offered him a drink.

 

“We actually won?” Zayn grinned.

 

“You won baby. It’s all yours.” Liam kissed his forehead.

 

“No I… but I didn’t even put any money down it was all you. I can’t take it for free.” Zayn said shocked.

 

“Yes you can. We both won and I’m giving it to you.” Liam cupped his face and kissed him deeply.

 

“Ugh where do they hand out men like you, I need one.” Harry groaned as he chugged some beer.

 

Liam laughed as Zayn shook his head at Harry who just smiled sweetly back at Zayn.

 

“I’m just going to get a drink.” Zayn said to Liam.

 

Liam kissed his cheek then loosened up his arms as Zayn got up and walked towards the other side of the roof where the bar was, pulling Harry along with him.

 

“Haz don’t get too drunk we have to go home as well. And in one piece.” Zayn said as he grabbed a can of Coke.

 

“I only had one beer. And your boyfriend is providing it I think we’re good.” Harry said.

 

“He’s not my…” Zayn sighed and just popped open the Coke can to take a sip.

 

“Whatever you say sweetie.” Harry said flashing him a smile. His curls were falling from his bandana and his eyes were bright, his lips red. Zayn realized Harry was on his way to getting drunk soon and that wasn’t something easy to handle. He was about to lean over and pull the bottle from Harry when he felt someone come up beside him and a hand ran across his lower back.

 

“And who might you be?” Zayn turned to see who had said that and saw a man with dark hair and dark eyes watching him with a smile, as he grabbed a beer from the bar.

 

“Uhh…” Zayn felt a little confused and wondered who this strange man might be since he hadn’t been here earlier.

 

“You’re pretty cute and I’ve never seen you around.” The man said.

 

“I’m Zayn… I’m with Liam.” Zayn said.

 

“With Liam? Oh fuck,” The man laughed. “Let’s forget what I just said. I mean we all know not to mess with what’s Liam’s unless if we want to get killed. I’m Miguel, one of Liam’s friends.”

 

“Oh, hi.” Zayn said and moved away a little.

 

“Are you also with Liam?” Miguel asked Harry with a grin.

 

“No I’m a free man.” Harry smiled coyly with his dimples on display.

 

Zayn shook his head noticing that Harry was about to get into his flirtatious mode and he grabbed his Coke and excused himself. He walked back towards the patio where almost everyone had fallen onto the sofas, the poker game finished with. Umar and Vince were playing air hockey on the other side of the roof while everyone else hung around the patio. Zayn frowned when he noticed Luke was sitting in Liam’s lap laughing at something Liam said. They were passing a joint back and forth too and it reminded Zayn of the time he had seen Adrian in Liam’s lap the same way at the club and it had unleashed a waterfall of insecurities inside him. This made him feel something ugly claw at his insides as well. But when Liam noticed Zayn approaching he grinned brightly and shoved Luke with a friendly push to the side. Luke just fell into Josh’s lap and continued to take lazy drags from his joint. Zayn went forward and without any hesitation planted himself back into Liam’s lap. Liam wrapped his arms tightly around Zayn’s slim waist and pressed kisses all over his face and neck.

 

“Mmm. You smell good baby.” Liam kissed his way up Zayn’s neck under his jaw. Zayn flushed but he realized nobody was paying any attention. They were all involved in other conversations and judging by everyone’s relaxed nature and bright eyes, they were all high.

 

Zayn pulled back and noticed how Liam’s face was also relaxed, his eyes a little hazy, but indicating that he was also in the same state. Liam was drawing lazy circles on Zayn’s thigh and just watching him intensely. He had that dark look he always got before he usually whispered something dirty into Zayn’s ear which made him blush, then he fucked him till Zayn was a crying mess. Zayn felt arousal spike through his blood and his breathing quickened.

 

“Can I… also…” Zayn gulped and hoped Liam would understand.

 

Zayn had never smoked pot in his entire life. But he wanted to experience the closeness with Liam that he had seen Adrian have when he shared a joint with Liam, and that he saw Luke doing just now. He also wanted to know what Liam was feeling right now. He wanted to share in that experience and feel that kind of buzz.

 

“Have you done it before?” Liam asked.

 

“Umm… no…” Zayn mumbled playing with the front of Liam’s shirt.

 

“It might be too much baby.” Liam said gently.

 

“No. I promise I can handle it.” Zayn said looking into Liam’s eyes.

 

“Handle what?” Harry asked falling into the chair beside the sofa.

 

Liam indicated the joint he was rolling and Harry’s eyes shot up to Zayn and looked at him sternly.

 

“No ZayZay. You can’t. Remember the doctor said weed is one of the things that can trigger anxiety attacks.” Harry looked at him seriously.

 

Zayn frowned at Harry as Liam paused what he was doing to look at Zayn.

 

“That true?” Liam asked with a grip on his leg.

 

“Yeah but... I- I can handle it. Occasionally is fine. Like I have coffee occasionally…” Zayn stammered out.

 

“Yes but you’ve never experienced this before and it could trigger you.” Liam said as he cupped Zayn’s face and stroked his cheek.

 

“I’ll be fine Liam I promise. I’ll tell you if something is wrong. And like… you could… not directly… but like…”Zayn motioned with his hand hoping Liam would understand him.

 

“Shotgun?” Liam smirked a little his own eyes darkening. Zayn blushed and nodded.

 

“Zayn-“ Harry began.

 

“Please.” Zayn asked desperately. He needed this. He needed to do this with Liam.

 

“Okay okay. Shhh.” Liam kissed his forehead and squeezed his hand. “But we’ll go very slowly.”

 

Zayn nodded feeling his heartbeat pick up as Liam picked up his lighter to light up the joint. Liam first took a slow drag of his own and blew the smoke away from Zayn’s face. Then he adjusted Zayn in his lap so that Zayn was straddling him. Liam smiled at him and slowly took Zayn’s glasses off his face and tucked them into his own pocket.

 

“I’m going to take a drag then you have to bring you mouth close to mine so I can blow the smoke into your mouth. Go slowly, and hold it in for a little bit then blow it out. If you start to feel weird at all, we’ll stop. Okay?” Liam kissed him gently.

 

Zayn nodded his head and melted into the kiss for a few seconds before Liam drew back. Zayn looked to the side to see that Harry was in a conversation with Tom and Miguel and everyone else was pre-occupied too. He felt a hand on his jaw as Liam turned his face back around. Zayn looked at Liam wide eyed as the man gazed at him with dark eyes. Liam lifted the joint to his lips and took a long drag then with a hand curling in the thick of Zayn’s hair, he slowly pulled his head forward. Liam slowly let out the smoke and Zayn opened his lips to inhale it slowly. Liam pressed his own lips to Zayn’s once Zayn had taken in the majority and he kissed him softly so that Zayn would hold the smoke in. Zayn felt his eyes flutter close at the feeling of Liam’s lips, although a little dry from the weed, pressing against his. The smoke made his head feel strange and when Liam pulled back Zayn blew it out and coughed a little. Liam rubbed his back and Zayn felt his eyes start to water. It hadn’t been direct so the smoke didn’t bother him too much but it still made his throat itch a little and Zayn took the Coke can Liam offered him and took a sip.

 

“You okay baby?” Liam asked running his fingers through Zayn’s hair.

 

Zayn nodded with a smile and pulled off Liam’s snapback only to set it on his own head. Liam raised his eyebrow with a smirk and Zayn bit his lip, smiling back.

 

“Again.” Zayn said and kissed Liam’s cheek.

 

Liam brought the joint back to his own lips only to repeat the motion. He still went slow to get Zayn used to the feeling but after a few minutes Zayn felt light headed and his skin felt sensitive to every touch. Liam’s hand on his hip was burning though his skin and making arousal pool in his stomach. His other hand on Zayn’s jaw felt so soft and electric that Zayn pressed his face further into the hand. His lips tingled where Liam’s lips repeatedly touched his and he felt warm all over.

 

“How do you feel?” Liam murmured and kissed along the side of his face.

 

“Good. ‘s good. You’re good. Very good.” Zayn giggled and tucked his face into Liam’s neck.

 

“Very good.” Liam teased lightly. His hands were running along the strip of skin exposed above Zayn’s jeans because his shirt had ridden up.

 

Zayn started unconsciously kissing along Liam’s neck and grinding slowly in his lap. Liam was still smoking the joint and had his head thrown back against the sofa as Zayn kissed his neck. Liam was rubbing his hand up and down Zayn’s back lazily. Zayn moved up to kiss Liam on the lips and the man gripped his hips more tightly as he kissed back. Zayn didn’t even realize he was letting out small whimpers as he kissed Liam. His head felt all fuzzy and his limbs felt loose and liquid like. Liam started kissing and biting along his neck and Zayn tilted his head back with his eyes closed letting out a sigh. They didn’t even realize where they were and that everyone had gone silent.

 

“That’s really hot.” Miguel said.

 

Hearing that Zayn pulled back slowly from Liam to look around. Zayn turned crimson when he realized all of Liam’s friends and Harry had been watching them. When he met Niall’s eyes the man grinned and winked at him.

 

“By all means continue.” Gabe said and leaned back in his seat bringing his glass to his lips.

 

“Weed makes all of you bastards horny as fuck. Unfortunately for you, you will not get to witness this.” Liam said and suddenly stood up, throwing Zayn over his shoulder fire-man style.

 

Zayn let out a gasp as Liam started towards the doors and the others hooted and wolf-whistled.

 

Vince yelled “Get it in Payno!” at the same time that Harry yelled “Get some dick Zaynie! I’m proud of you!”

 

Zayn flipped Harry off as Liam opened the door and carried them down the stairs to the second floor. Zayn giggled and bit Liam’s back which caused the man to smack his ass. Zayn whined at that just as Liam entered his room. Liam kicked the door closed then strode over to his bed and threw Zayn down. Zayn gasped as he bounced on the bed but he had no chance to react because Liam was on him instantly, pinning his wrists down and capturing his mouth in a searing kiss. Zayn moaned desperately and wrapped his arms and legs around Liam and started rutting up instantly. He had no idea when he had gotten hard, maybe it was the weed, but he was hard and desperate for some release. Everything felt heightened. Every inch of his body was hot and charged. His heart was thudding so loudly he was sure Liam could hear it too. He was rutting up against Liam seeking friction and he was letting out the loudest whimpers. Liam moved back and pulled his shirt off. Zayn bit his lip and reached down to cup his dick that was straining inside his jeans. Liam’s toned body just brought out these reactions in him. There was nothing more hotter in Zayn’s opinion. This man, was his man, and he was just so fucking sexy. Liam smirked at him and grabbed the hem of Zayn’s shirt to pull it off too. He started kissing down Zayn’s body and when he reached his nipple he sucked the hardening bud into his mouth. Zayn cried out at the sensation. It was between pain and pleasure but it felt so good. Liam took his time running his tongue over both of his nipples until Zayn felt he couldn’t think anymore.

 

“You’re like a work of art baby boy.” Liam said as he watched Zayn’s face while running his thumb over the bud.

 

“Please fuck me.” Zayn said knowing that if he didn’t feel Liam inside him soon he would come in his pants. He wanted Liam to flip him over and just take him any which way he liked and ruin him.

 

“Eager are we.” Liam chuckled.

 

“Don’t tease me you devil-man.” Zayn whined and squirmed In Liam’s hold. The weed made everything in his brain a mess and he couldn’t even think straight. He just wanted to feel Liam and his thick length pulsing inside him.

 

“Fuck. Me.” Zayn looked up at Liam seriously and fluttered his lashes while biting his lip knowing that image would set Liam off.

 

It worked because the man’s eyes darkened and his grip around Zayn’s wrists tightened.

 

“You want me to fuck you Zayn?” Liam said in a low voice as he nibbled on Zayn’s earlobe.

 

“Yes.” Zayn whimpered out breathlessly and tried to grind up.

 

“How badly do you want me to fuck you?” Liam asked as he started sucking on Zayn’s collarbone.

 

“S-so badly. I want you to fuck me so hard I feel it for days.” Zayn moaned out.

 

In an instant Liam had let him go and flipped him onto his stomach. Zayn let out a shocked sound as Liam started running a hand down the curve of his lower back.

 

“I don’t know if you want it that badly.” Liam said as he reached around to unzip Zayn’s pants then he pulled them down his legs.

 

“I do!” Zayn cried out as he was practically humping the bed in his desperation for some friction.

 

“Do you think you’ve been good enough to get fucked?” Liam asked as he palmed Zayn’s brief clad ass.

 

“I have. So good.” Zayn whimpered into the sheets. His desperation was at a peak and he could feel tears pricking his eyes. He needed Liam so badly, the man was about to kill him.

 

“Show me.” Liam said then suddenly his weight was gone from on top of Zayn.

 

Zayn got up slowly and looked up to see Liam was leaning against headboard casually. He had pulled another rolled up joint from his jeans pocket and was lighting it up. He popped the button on his jeans and motioned Zayn to come forward. Zayn huffed out and slowly crawled to Liam on his hands and knees. Liam pointed at his jeans and Zayn pulled them off till Liam was only in his boxers as well. Zayn straddled Liam and watched the man silently as he took a long drag from the joint and blew the smoke away.

 

“Ride me.” Liam said.

 

Zayn drew in a sharp breath and his hands shook where they were placed on Liam’s shoulders. Liam tilted his face up and kissed him blowing a fraction of the smoke into Zayn’s mouth. Zayn smiled a little and kissed Liam back properly. Then he moved downwards and started kissing Liam’s neck and continued the path down his chest. Liam ran a hand through Zayn’s hair as he kissed down the man’s body. Zayn paused a little then moved back up to face Liam.

 

“I don’t know how.” Zayn said softly looking at Liam.

 

“You’ll be fine baby.” Liam said then reached into his bedside table and pulled out a bottle of lube.

 

He slid Zayn’s briefs down past the curve of his ass and off his body. Then he slicked up a few of his fingers and ran them down the crease of Zayn’s ass. At the feeling of the cold lube, Zayn gasped a little which turned into a moan as Liam pushed one finger in. Liam brought his face forward gently to blow some more smoke into his mouth which he sealed with a kiss. Zayn sighed out his mind and body thrumming with pleasure. Every touch of Liam’s was intensified by the weed and Zayn felt like Liam was wrapped around his mind and body. The entire time Liam opened him up Zayn rocked back on his fingers and breathed a desperate jumble of words. Liam, this man was something else, he continued to smoke the joint and open Zayn up simultaneously. After some time, when Zayn felt like he had tears streaming down his face, Liam stopped and put out his joint. He lubed up his own hard cock and gave it a few strokes then grabbed it from the base. He tapped Zayn’s hip signalling him to kneel over Liam.

 

“Ready?” Liam asked.

 

“Y-yeah.” Zayn breathed out.

 

“Good.” Liam grabbed the fallen snapback from the bed and positioned it back on Zayn’s head, turned it backwards. He grinned at Zayn then helped him position himself over Liam’s dick.

 

Zayn took a deep breath, his legs shaking, and he slowly lowered himself down onto Liam’s dick. He cried out in pleasure as he sank down slowly on the man’s length. Liam groaned out loud and his grip was so tight on Zayn’s hips it would leave bruises. Zayn knew his breathing was ragged and his entire body was trembling. He didn’t start moving yet but he just tucked his face into Liam’s neck and took deep breaths. It was so overwhelming having Liam inside him as always. But this position made things feel different and he couldn’t breathe with how hot and full he felt. He moved back and looked into Liam’s eyes. The man’s eyes were dark and swimming with lust and he looked to be holding himself back from just throwing Zayn down and fucking into him. Zayn took another breath then slowly moved up and sank back down. Liam’s dick brushed the bundle of nerves inside him and he cried out, throwing his head back.

 

“Fuck. Liam. It feels so good.” Zayn stammered out. His skin was buzzing and electrified and Liam felt so good inside him, he felt speechless.

 

“You’re going to kill me.” Liam groaned.

 

Zayn swallowed shakily then started riding Liam at a slow pace. He took it slow to get used to the feeling then he started going faster. With Liam holding his hips and guiding him up and down, Zayn quickened his pace and started to go faster. He was shouting out a string of Liam’s name and how good it all felt. He had no idea what he was really saying. He was so lost in the mind-numbing pleasure. He was getting closer to his climax but his legs were tired and he couldn’t get to his release fast enough.

 

“P-please… just… just fuck me… fuck me harder Liam…” Zayn cried out his body moving slowly.

 

Liam grabbed him suddenly and flipped him onto the bed on his stomach. Zayn felt Liam push his thighs apart and then the man pushed back into him. Zayn bit the pillow to hold back his scream as Liam pinned his wrists above his head and started fucking into him fast like Zayn wanted.

 

“You looked so good riding me baby. Nothing in the world compared to that.” Liam panted into his ear as he started kissing and sucking Zayn’s neck.

 

Zayn’s mind was complete mush with the weed and arousal making it impossible for him to form thoughts or think logically. He wanted, needed and craved so much from Liam it was ripping his body to shreds.

 

“Yes! Right there Liam! F-fuck…. Fuck me fuck me fuck me!” Zayn screamed out. His eyes were closed and all he felt was Liam fucking him into the mattress and taking over his every sense.

 

Liam interlocked their fingers together above Zayn’s head and started thrusting faster as they both neared their release.

 

“H-harder Liam! Harder! Fuck me harder! Just take me!” Zayn moaned out, his desire so thick he felt ready to go up in flames.

 

“Fuck baby boy.” Liam groaned and bit Zayn’s neck hard enough to draw blood, with a matching hard thrust.

 

“Yes harder. F-fuck. _Fuck me harder daddy.”_ Zayn cried out that last bit desperately, unaware of what he had said until he felt Liam stop suddenly.

 

Zayn opened his eyes wondering what had happened when he realized what he had just screamed out in the middle of his pleasure. Fuck fuck fuck. Fuck everything and his deep hidden kinks coming out in the middle of Liam fucking him. This was because of the weed. His mind was so fogged up with a combination of the pot and his arousal that he had said the word he usually only kept buried in his thoughts. His body froze up and he stayed completely still, embarrassed and afraid to look back at Liam and see what the man’s reaction could possibly be.

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for stopping right in the middle of that lol but I hope you liked it! it seemed to just be a chapter full of extensive smut but I hope you liked it regardless. So how I mentioned that I had problems setting up the order of the scenes, a scene I originally thought I'd include in this chapter that leads to something important didn't actually end up fitting in this because I switched a few things around but it's going to come in the next chapter and everything will line up to lead to the important moment/turning point. Thank you all for being so lovely and supportive and wonderful I can't believe I've reached 350 kudos, like WOW. This is all surreal, thank you so much! I love you all. Let me know what you thought here in the comments or on my tumblr :)
> 
> p.s. hope the daddy thing didn't turn anyone off, I've been waiting to have that pop out for a while ;)  
> p.p.s. i dont know how poker works so i didn't go into details please excuse me for that, and i also dont know the logistics of firing people in work places but this is an AU its not real life so please excuse any errors.
> 
> \----
> 
> Urdu words:  
> -Shaytan : Satan  
> -Mamoo: uncle (specifically mom's brother)  
> -Baji: older sister


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi :) It's been a while but the chapter is finally complete. I feel really at ease now that it's done because I have a shit load of uni work to focus on in the next week or two. Thank you guys as always for your never-ending support and kind words. I love you all! Plus I just saw that I reached 400 kudos and I was literally speechless. This feels surreal. Thank You thank you thank you!! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter :)
> 
> (translations at end as always)

 

 

This situation could go in many directions. Zayn tried to rationalize with his brain how to best handle everything and he took a deep breath.

 

“L-Liam I-“ Zayn started off in a shaky voice but he was flipped over so suddenly and harshly he felt like he got whiplash.

 

Zayn opened his mouth to apologize but Liam’s mouth crashed down onto his own before he could get a single syllable out. Zayn mewled embarrassingly loud as Liam ravished his mouth, licking every crevice of Zayn’s mouth and biting his lip. Liam pulled back and Zayn opened his eyes knowing he was panting like he had just run ten miles. But he could care less. Because Liam’s pupils were dilated and pitch black. Zayn had never seen Liam this… _hungry._ Zayn choked out a whimper and felt his body quake just by seeing the look on Liam’s face. Liam gripped Zayn’s knees and pushed his legs against his chest roughly

 

_“Daddy?”_ Liam questioned in a strangely calm but deep voice.

 

“L-Liam I- I can explain- Ah!” Zayn screamed out in surprise and threw his head back as Liam thrust back into him suddenly, penetrating him deeply in one push.

 

Liam gripped his chin tightly and forced Zayn to meet his eyes. “Daddy?”

 

Zayn bit his lip on a harsh moan threatening to escape. He closed his eyes as tears of pleasure sprang into them. Liam was practically splitting him in half with the fast and rough way he was fucking his cock into Zayn who clenched desperately around Liam.

 

“I-I just… It’s just ‘cus, just ‘cus Harry says it a lot and it- it g-got stuck in my mind,” Zayn panted out, still seeking out a way to explain away his embarrassment.

 

Liam paused mid thrust and grinned wickedly at Zayn his eyes glinting with filthy promises.

 

“Harry? Really Zayn?” Liam said and bit his neck. He gripped Zayn’s thighs hard enough to bruise the soft skin and leveraged this position to hit Zayn’s prostrate with every thrust.

 

Zayn’s vision went white and he felt like he wasn’t even inside his body anymore. He felt like Liam had taken his soul out of his body. He could distantly hear his own desperate moans and cries as Liam pounded into him.

 

“Just when I think you can’t surprise me anymore, you fucking blow my mind again baby.” Liam said and bit his neck.

 

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” Zayn said breathlessly and looked into Liam’s eyes. Their faces were only millimetres apart and Liam swooped down to deliver another biting kiss.

 

“Oh really? I think you were just being honest.” Liam grinned teasingly and started running his tongue around Zayn’s nipple.

 

Zayn tried to form a sentence but his mind wasn’t cooperating at all. It was just chanting “yes” and “more” and unsurprisingly still, “daddy.”

 

“I- I’m sorry- I just-“ Zayn tried.

 

“Say it again.” Liam demanded in a voice laced heavily with lust.

 

Zayn sucked in his breath and snapped his head to look at Liam thinking the man was joking with him. But Liam’s face was dead serious and depicting nothing but sheer want and desire for Zayn. He wrapped his hand around Zayn’s leaking cock and stroked it while keeping up the intense eye contact and slow thrusts.

 

“Say it baby,” Liam whispered in his ear and nibbled on his earlobe.

 

“Daddy,” Zayn sighed out his brain losing all it’s will to function.

 

“Again.” Liam said as he pinned Zayn’s wrists above his head and started fucking into him faster.

 

“D- Daddy,” Zayn cried out his entire body feeling the pleasure stemming from the point where his and Liam’s bodies were connected. With Liam above him, inside him and holding him down Zayn was completely at his mercy and nothing had felt this fucking good in his entire life.

 

“Baby boy,” Liam growled low in his throat as he gripped Zayn’s hair tightly and pulled his head back, and started kissing and biting along the column of his throat. Liam gave one more hard thrust and Zayn blanked out completely, seeing and hearing nothing.

 

_“Daddy!”_ Zayn screamed out and came across his stomach, not caring anymore as Liam had fucked him into oblivion.

 

“Fuck baby.” Liam groaned out as he himself came pulsing inside Zayn and bit his neck.

 

Zayn was aware of nothing around him. His skin was sensitive and his mind was blank. He was distantly aware of his ears ringing slightly that’s how hard he had come. He had no idea that screaming out “Daddy” would have such a positive reaction on Liam (but who was he kidding, Liam was the kinkiest and most dirty-minded man he’d ever met), but clearly his deep hidden kink was appreciated and returned.

 

“… Zayn? Baby… “ Zayn could feel Liam’s warm hand rubbing his hip.

 

“Mmm…” Zayn was only capable of letting out a small sound because his body was heavy and limp; his mind blank.

 

“I swear your post orgasm catatonic state is more amusing to me than your desperate turned on state,” Liam laughed and kissed his slack lips.

 

“ ‘s ‘cus ya always fuck- fucking ruin me,” Zayn said in a syrupy slow voice.

 

“Is that right?” Liam said and pulled him into his arms.

 

Zayn nodded languidly, still not opening his eyes, and Liam held him more tightly kissing his sweaty and messy hair.

 

“You’re like some sex God. Are you the son of Aphrodite?” Zayn mused.

 

Liam let out a laugh and squeezed Zayn while pressing gentle kisses along his face. Zayn hummed happily and nuzzled further against Liam’s chest.

 

“Well that would make me Eros and you Psyche?” Liam said and stroked his hair gently.

 

“Who?” Zayn moved back and looked up at Liam questioningly.

 

Liam just grinned and kissed him softly and Zayn sank into it letting out a pleased sound. They were exchanging lazy kisses for a few minutes that was slowly starting to warp into something else again when a loud bang sounded on the door.

 

“You kinky fuckers done fucking yet!?” Niall’s voice bellowed out. “We can hear Zayn screaming upstairs.”

Zayn choked out an embarrassed cry and buried his red face further into Liam’s chest who simply chuckled. Zayn smacked him lightly and frowned when Liam laughed harder.

 

“Fuck off Niall!” Liam called out in the middle of his laughs.

 

“Well if you could take your dick out of Zayn for one second I just came to let you know that we’re all heading to Red. You guys wanna come?” Niall asked from the other side of the door.

 

Liam was looking at him with a raised eyebrow and Zayn shrugged his own shoulders. Liam quirked his lips and gave him a look asking “well?” and Zayn just bit his lip and cheekily shrugged his shoulders again. Liam smirked and pinched his side and kissed him when Zayn started to giggle.

 

“Are you fucking again?” Niall yelled. “Do y’all ever take a break?”

 

“Do you?” Liam yelled back.

 

“Payno shut the fuck up and let us know if you’re coming with!” Miguel yelled and Zayn had no idea if he had been there the whole time or had just joined Niall.

 

“Yeah we’re coming!” Liam sat up.

 

“By the sounds of it you ‘came’ already but if you mean you’re accompanying us to the club then hurry the fuck up.” Miguel said and Niall was laughing.

 

“And were you standing outside getting off to the sounds of me fucking? That sounds like something you would do.” Liam shot back as he helped Zayn into a sitting position.

 

“What can I say? The sounds you make get me all hot.” Miguel teased.

 

“I bet they do. You guys can fuck off now we’ll be out in five minutes.” Liam said.

 

“Don’t be long Payno!” Miguel yelled as him and Niall walked away.

 

“My friends have zero boundaries.” Liam shook his head and rubbed his fingertips along Zayn’s jaw.

 

“It’s okay. I like them.” Zayn smiled up at Liam. The man grinned and pulled Zayn up into his arms. Zayn gasped as Liam hoisted him up and carried him into the bathroom.

 

“I like _you_.” Liam said and pecked his lips.

 

“I like you too.” Zayn said softly while he could feel a blush spreading across his cheeks.

 

**

 

Zayn was biting his nails down to stubs. His skin felt tight and his heartbeat was irregular. He hated being in crowded places and a club wasn’t a place he felt comfortable. Since meeting Liam he had become comfortable hanging out at Red and rarely ever felt anxious here. But that was usually because they were in the private room on the VIP floor or the lounge on the topmost floor. Today everyone had decided to hang out right on the busy first floor where the crowd was bleeding energy. Some celebrity European DJ was playing tonight and the crowd was thicker than ever. Zayn sighed and turned his barstool around towards the bar, with his back to the crowd. Liam had gotten pulled to the side by someone who he had been talking to for the last ten minutes. It seemed like being down here meant Liam was recognized by someone every two minutes who wanted to talk to him. Right now he was in the middle of talking to a man and a woman who both seemed to be beaming at him, their bodies curved completely towards him showing that they were hanging off of every word Liam was saying. Zayn turned his gaze down to his water and frowned at it. Harry had also mysteriously disappeared a half hour ago and Zayn had last seen him dancing closely with Miguel. They both had been flirting for most of the evening and knowing Harry something would happen tonight. Everyone was having fun or was occupied and Zayn just felt annoyed with his inability to feel comfortable in places like this and hated the fact that some strangers were feeling up his boyf- no. Liam wasn’t really his boyfriend. But he was his something and Zayn felt stinging jealousy and anger at the woman who ran her hand up and down Liam’s arm and the man who looked at Liam with unveiled thirst.

 

“You look like you could use a drink.” Zayn turned his head to see a man sitting beside him giving him a smile. He had brown hair and a light scruff but Zayn couldn’t make out the rest of him in the dark

 

“I’m ok.” Zayn said and looked back at his water.

 

“Water at a club? A little depressing.” The man grinned and turned more towards Zayn in his stool.

 

“That’s me.” Zayn shrugged.

 

“I’m sure you’re not – “ The man looked at him pointedly.

 

Zayn hesitated for a second then glanced briefly at Liam who seemed occupied with two people who were practically all over him. Zayn sighed and feeling something strange pop up inside he turned back and smiled slightly at the man.

 

“Zayn.” Zayn smiled hesitantly.

 

“Nice to meet you Zayn. I’m Bryan.” He said. “So can I get you a drink?”  
  
“Um. I’m not too familiar with- I’ll just have what you’re having.” Zayn said slowly. He didn’t like this. He didn’t like this at all. He didn’t know who this Bryan person was and he didn’t want him buying drinks but Zayn thought maybe Liam would pay attention to him now. That is if he cared enough.

 

Bryan smiled and nodded and ordered a drink for Zayn. Zayn just kept glancing around feeling a little uncomfortable and out of place. When a drink was placed in front of him he took a sip and immediately scrunched his nose at the taste.

 

“What is this?” Zayn asked and set it down.

 

Bryan laughed. “Scotch. Like I’m drinking.”

 

“It’s gross.” Zayn said and pushed it away.

 

Bryan laughed again, a little too loudly and patted Zayn’s thigh. Zayn frowned at it but Bryan kept his hand on Zayn’s thigh.

 

“You’re cute. What do you drink then?” He asked.

 

“Ummm… beer?” Zayn said a little unsure. All he’d ever really drank was beer a few times but never enough to get drunk (except that one time with Harry where he had been completely out of his element).

 

Bryan nodded and ordered him a beer. He started some meaningless conversation and Zayn just nodded barely paying any attention as he noticed Liam was now left with just the woman who seemed to be standing even more closer. Then she said something and Liam seemed to be pointing towards the VIP floor and they disappeared a few seconds later. Zayn’s heart sank further feeling abandoned by Liam. He knew Liam wasn’t the kind of guy to be doing something suspicious with someone else while dating him. But they weren’t ‘official boyfriends’ and Zayn couldn’t help feeling helplessly small and unwanted. He was jealous of anyone who could capture Liam’s attention and he wondered if the man ever felt like that about him? Zayn was so busy feeling down he didn’t even realize he had downed two beers.  
  
“Zayn?” Bryan seemed to be touching his thigh again.

 

“Yes?” Zayn asked turning to him.

 

“I asked if you wanted to dance.” Bryan had a hopeful and dark look in his eyes.

 

Zayn thought it over for a minute and not spotting Liam anywhere he came to a decision.

 

“Sure.” Zayn said although his heart was pounding unsteadily.

 

Bryan grinned and finished his drink then took Zayn’s hand in a too tight grip and lead him onto the dance floor. Zayn was already regretting his decision when Bryan pulled him into his arms with hands gripping Zayn’s hips. Zayn suddenly couldn’t remember why he agreed to this. At the moment he had just wanted Liam to feel some of the raging jealousy he felt sometimes. But that made no sense because Liam wasn’t anywhere in sight. Bryan was touching him all over his body and it felt so _so_ wrong. The only hands Zayn ever wanted on his body were Liam’s firm and strong hands. This man felt wrong, smelt wrong and fit completely wrong.

 

“So what do you do Zayn?” Bryan leaned in close to his ear as he kept a firm grip on Zayn’s hips.

 

“I uh- I work at RED management.” Zayn said unsteadily.

 

“Liam Payne’s company? Nice. Did you know this is his club as well?” Bryan asked.

 

Zayn resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He realized he wanted to get away from this strange man and in Liam’s arms. Screw this jealousy thing. He’d go find Liam and fall into his arms and the man would hold him tightly like he always did and press gentle kisses on Zayn’s face until he was a blushing mess. He wanted Liam.

 

“Umm Bryan…” Zayn started.

 

“Want to get out of here?” Bryan asked a little too presumptuous.

 

“What?” Zayn asked shocked. They had known each other a half hour and this man wanted Zayn to go home with him?

 

“Yeah we can head back-“ Bryan started.

 

“Zayn.”

 

Zayn froze. He knew that deep voice. That deep velvety voice that had been whispering into his ear a few hours ago as he was being fucked. Zayn slowly turned from Bryan’s tight grip and noticed Liam right behind him. Zayn swallowed slowly as he took in Liam’s clenched jaw and dark eyes. Zayn stepped a little away from Bryan and Liam immediately took his hand and pulled him into his side.

 

“Excuse me buddy he’s with me. You’re interrupting something,” Bryan said not having seen Liam clearly yet.

 

“No _buddy_ he’s not. He’s with me,” Liam said.

 

“I doubt it. Wanna get out of here Zayn?” Bryan asked clearly stupid enough not to see Liam’s firm grip on Zayn and Zayn clinging to Liam.

 

“Walk out on your two legs yourself or be carried out by my security. Fuck off now.” Liam said starting to sound angry.

 

“Your- oh. You- you’re Liam Payne. I’m sorry. I didn’t know Zayn was with you. He didn’t say. I’ll uh- I’ll leave.” Bryan turned around and walked away.

 

Zayn stood beside Liam for a few seconds without saying anything as the throngs of people around them continued dancing.

 

“Liam I-“ Zayn started.

 

Liam just spun Zayn around till Zayn’s back was pressed to Liam’s front and Zayn let out a gasp as Liam bit on a love bite that was already on Zayn’s neck.

 

“Why were you dancing with some strange man Zayn?” Liam asked in a thick voice. Oh. Zayn realized Liam sounded… _jealous._ And clearly very worked up at seeing Zayn in some strange man’s arms.

 

“Liam-“

 

“I wanted to rip his hands off his body for touching you and gouge his eyes out for looking at you in the way that he was,” Liam growled. “You’re _mine.”_

 

“I- I- _yours._ All yours.” Zayn gasped as Liam sucked on his neck.

 

“Good. But maybe you need some reminding.” Liam grabbed Zayn’s hand and started pulling him away from the dancefloor.

 

Zayn felt his heart rate spike up in excitement as he allowed Liam to swiftly lead them away from the dance floor and to the back of the club where a set of bathrooms were. Liam pushed open the door to the men’s room and glanced around momentarily to see if it was empty, and feeling satisfied he pulled Zayn into an empty bathroom stall and quickly closed it.  Zayn walked back a few steps till his back hit the wall of the stall. He took in shaky breaths as Liam approached him. Liam wasted no time in lifting Zayn off his feet and pinning him to the wall with his hands above his hand. He took advantage of Zayn’s agape mouth by thrusting his tongue in and kissing Zayn him possessively. Zayn moaned and felt arousal stir in his body at Liam acting so possessive and dominant.

 

“I don’t like seeing other people touch you like that,” Liam said and bit Zayn’s lower lip then moved back to look at him.

 

“I didn’t like it either… and I… I don’t like it when other people touch you either…” Zayn replied hesitantly.

 

“Who?” Liam asked.

 

“T-that woman and that man earlier. Then you went away with that woman and I was alone and Bryan approached me,” Zayn answered.

 

“They were just friends of mine. But I’m sorry if it seemed like something else to you Zayn. I only want you and I’m only _with_ you as well. No one else even remotely interests me anymore. And next time I won’t even let creeps like that dude have any chance to proposition you,” Liam said.

 

Zayn bit his lip. “Well to be completely honest, some of it was my fault. I agreed to drinking and dancing with him. I-I wanted you to feel jealous like I was.” Zayn flushed, embarrassed, thinking back on what he had been trying to do. He kept his eyes trained down until he felt a tight grip on his chin that forced him to look up. Liam’s eyes were dark again but he had a small smirk.

 

“Trying to make me jealous? Well it definitely worked baby.” Liam pressed their lips together in a heated kiss again.

 

Zayn moaned lewdly and tightened his legs around Liam’s waist. He rocked his hips forward and responded to the kiss with fervour. Liam ran his hand up Zayn’s thigh and groped his ass. When Zayn whimpered at the touch Liam smacked his ass lightly and Zayn choked out a louder moan.

 

“L- Liam,” Zayn said horrified by his own desperate moans at being spanked lightly.

 

“I know you love that baby boy,” Liam murmured and started kissing up Zayn’s neck and unbuttoned his pants.

 

“I- I,” Zayn stammered helplessly.

 

Liam just grinned and set Zayn down then finished unzipping his pants. Once he had Zayn’s pants pulled down sufficiently he turned him around and pressed him face first into the blue coloured wall of the bathroom stall. Zayn could see a distorted reflection of his own face and of Liam behind him. The cool air of the air-conditioned bathroom was making goosebumps rise on his exposed skin. Liam was caressing the skin of his ass and Zayn gulped. After a few moments he heard Liam go to his knees and when Zayn looked over his shoulder he saw Liam press a kiss the round of his ass. Zayn closed his eyes his fingers curling into fists. He knew what was about to come next and he was shocked that Liam was about to do this in a public bathroom. What if someone came in and happened to look underneath? But the sharp arousal in his belly told him to shut the fuck up because he really wanted Liam to go ahead with it.

 

“You’re mine Zayn,” Liam said and leaned in to start licking away.

 

“F-fucking hell!” Zayn cried and just bit his hand to muffle his moans. Liam and his God damn tongue and the sinful things it did. Never in his wildest dreams had Zayn thought he would be getting rimmed in a public bathroom.

 

Within a few minutes of Liam bringing Zayn close to the edge with short licks and thrusts with his tongue, he pressed a finger in as well. Zayn moaned and started rocking back against the fingers. He had just gotten fucked thoroughly a few hours ago but he was ready to go at it again. He felt Liam stop what he was doing and Zayn whimpered helplessly. Liam turned him around and lifted him off his feet again and went back to kissing him. Zayn sighed in relief and wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck as the man kissed him and fingered him simultaneously. Zayn reached down blindly till he was able to grasp Liam’s hard cock through his pants.

 

“I want to… you as well,” Zayn panted as Liam pressed kisses along his jawline.

 

Liam pulled his own zipper down and took out his dick. He grabbed both of their dicks in one hand and Zayn threw his head back at the sensation of their cocks rubbing together. Liam was stroking them together using both of their pre-cum as lubricant.

 

“Only I can make you feel like this baby boy,” Liam growled.

 

“O-only you. B-best I’ve ever had. Only I’ve ever had. Only I’ll ever need,” Zayn panted keeping a tight grip on Liam.

 

“Fuck,” Liam muttered and started moving his hand faster as he kissed Zayn again.

 

Zayn felt like he was so close to the edge when the bathroom door banged open, bringing in the thumping sounds of the music. Zayn stilled in Liam’s arms, his eyes wide. Liam paused for a second, then grinned and indicated to Zayn to keep quiet. Zayn felt his eyes go even wider as Liam started stroking faster. He choked out a moan and Liam clamped a hand over his mouth.

 

“Shh.” Liam whispered and started kissing along his neck as he continued stroking them.

 

Zayn closed his eyes feeling the fear of being caught and the arousal of the act both mix together in an insane amount of pleasure.

 

“Fuck Harry you’re more wild than you let on.”

 

Zayn’s eyes flew open hearing his best friend’s name. And the voice that said it. That was – that was Miguel. Oh God. The door of the stall next to theirs banged shut and there was a loud thump. Zayn heard Harry’s laugh and then the sounds of someone kissing sloppily.

 

“You’re so fucking hot.” Harry was saying.

 

Zayn was so horrified at the current situation they were in that he hadn’t realized Liam had stopped. He felt some shaking against him and he looked at Liam to see the man was shaking with silent laughter, his head dropped against Zayn’s shoulder.

 

“Liam this isn’t funny.” Zayn whispered frantically.

 

“Ideally Zayn, people find these situations funny,” Liam whispered back teasingly with a huge grin on his face.

 

“My best friend is fucking in the bathroom stall next to the one _I’m_ being fucked in. That is _not_ funny,” Zayn huffed quietly trying to give Liam a scolding glare.

 

Liam shook with more laughter at Zayn’s poor attempt at scolding. The moans from the stall next to them got louder.

 

“I wanna blow you,” Harry’s voice said. Zayn heard Miguel curse and he realized Harry was probably on his knees.

 

“Oh my God,” Zayn said feeling shocked at this ridiculous situation. He was still rock hard and half naked himself, still pinned to the wall by Liam who hadn’t even flinched yet. And his best friend was blowing a man in the stall next to them.

 

He was about to suggest that Liam let him down when the man started stroking them again. Zayn jerked at the sudden rush of pleasure through his body again and Liam captured his mouth in a hot kiss again drowning out his moans. Zayn forgot Harry and Miguel were in the next stall because Liam’s tongue curling with his own coupled with his quick strokes on their dicks was making him see stars. Zayn rocked forward desperately into Liam’s hand and suddenly his body jerked and Liam covered his mouth at the right time because he came all over Liam’s hand. Zayn bit Liam’s hand accidentally when his orgasm hit so violently. He was catching his breath when he felt Liam still and he came as well biting down on Zayn’s shoulder to muffle his groan.

 

Zayn was trembling as his whole body turned to a jelly-like state. Liam moved away from the wall and sat down on the closed toilet seat with Zayn in his lap. Zayn closed his eyes trying to get his breathing to become steady while Liam ripped off some toilet paper to clean them off. When he finished, he kissed Zayn’s forehead and stroked his hair soothingly. He was always so sweet and gentle after they fucked no matter how rough it had been. Zayn felt his heart soar with unnamed feelings and he clung more tightly to Liam. Zayn looked up hesitantly to see that Liam was already looking at his face with something deeper than just the regular fond.

 

“If I’m yours then you’re also mine?” Zayn asked feeling nervous again.

 

Liam smiled and kissed him gently. “I’m yours. And you Zayn, are mine.”

 

“I like being yours.” Zayn whispered and kissed Liam trying to pour all his feelings into it. Harry had told him to have the ‘boyfriend talk’ so Zayn could get an idea of where he stood with Liam. Tonight’s jealousy showed once again how unsure he was of what Liam wanted from him. He wanted so much from this man. A dangerous amount. But did he want the same?

 

“You _are_ mine baby. My sweet, innocent, adorably jealous, mind-numbingly beautiful, crazy kinky, pouty and smart little bambi eyes,” Liam said and Zayn felt himself flush a deep red.

 

“And I forgot to add mad blusher.” Liam laughed lightly and Zayn hit him weakly. “That’s all you Zayn. And you’re all mine.”

 

“You’re a little mad yourself. But so perfect. Sometimes I don’t-“

 

Zayn was interrupted by a loud thump and groan and he realized the two from the stall next to them had quite literally finished.

 

“Took them long enough.” Liam chuckled then he helped Zayn and fixed up their clothes.

 

“You were amazing…” Miguel was saying to Harry.

 

“We can’t go out now,” Zayn whispered.

 

“It’s just Miguel and Harry,” Liam said as if that was supposed to mean anything.

 

Liam was about to open the door and Zayn panicked and yelled, “Liam wait!”

 

Realizing he had yelled too loudly he clamped a hand over his mouth and stood still as there was complete silence in the bathroom.

 

“Zayn?” Harry’s shocked voice called out.

 

Liam shook his head with a smile as Zayn groaned. He followed Liam out of the bathroom stall slowly as a disheveled Harry and Miguel walked out too. They all paused in the middle of the bathroom looking at each other.

 

“Bro,” Miguel said to Liam and they both burst out laughing. Zayn and Harry looked at the two of them shocked.

 

“This is like New Year’s Eve from two years ago,” Miguel laughed.

 

“That was awful man.” Liam shook his head and seeing Zayn’s perplexed state he pulled him into his side.

 

“This is… awkward. And I don’t ever really feel awkward,” Harry said. His cheeks were red and his hair was an absolute mess. His voice was scratchy and Zayn knew exactly what they had been doing.

 

“It’s only awkward if you make it awkward,” Liam grinned.

 

“Exactly. We’ve been through far worse,” Miguel laughed and clapped Liam’s shoulder.

 

“This is the type of situation that does require drinks,” Zayn mumbled.

 

“So many drinks,” Harry said as an amused smile now graced his face.

 

“Next time let’s make it a foursome.” Miguel smirked and Zayn’s eyes widened.

 

“I’ll literally cut your dick off.” Liam shoved him into the counter.

 

“I’m joking you possessive bitch,” Miguel laughed and dropped a loud kiss to Liam’s cheek. “Now get us drinks in the lounge Liam.”

 

“You abuse your privileges Miguel,” Liam said as they all walked out of the bathroom.

 

Zayn could not understand what had just happened here and his brain was ready to explode. He decided ignorance was definitely bliss. Especially in this case

 

 

**

 

“One More!”

 

Liam grinned looking at Zayn who was stood in front of the bar in the private lounge doing shots with Harry, Miguel, Luke and Umar. Liam was sat on one of the sofas talking to Tom and Josh. They were all in the private lounge and had been joined by a few other people Liam had invited up who included Poppy a model he represented (and who Zayn had gotten jealous of before) and a few of her friends. Everyone was well on their way to being drunk but the biggest shock of the night had been Zayn. The boy was on his way to becoming completely plastered. Since they had exited the bathroom he had been drinking and right now he was doing shot contests with the boys. Zayn. The boy who wouldn’t drink wine on their date was drunk right now.

 

“ZayZay you’ve had enough.” Harry pulled a shot glass away from Zayn’s hands and accidentally knocked off a bowl of peanuts.

 

“Now look wha’ you done Haz. You knock the peanut off.” Zayn giggled. “Hey! Remember when Don-Doniya Baji used to call me Peanut ‘cus she said I was tiny. I used to get so pissed.” Zayn was giggling and drinking his beer.

 

“Peanut!” Umar laughed and thumped Zayn on the back.

 

“Heyyy! D-don’t call me that.” Zayn pouted.

 

“Do some more shots Peanut,” Miguel pushed a glass into Zayn’s hand and grabbed one himself.

 

Liam walked over to the group of them and wrapped an arm around Zayn’s waist.

 

“Are you trying to get my boy drunk? He’s new to this,” Liam said and kissed the top of Zayn’s head.

 

“I’m not- I’m not some amateur Liam. I’m handle this ver’ well.” Zayn hiccupped and started laughing at pretty much nothing.

 

Liam couldn’t help but smile at how utterly adorable Zayn looked like this. His cheeks were flushed red and his eyes were sparkling. His lips looked red and inviting as well and his fluffy raven quiff was a complete mess. He had pulled Liam’s dark green camo jacket on over his t-shirt and it sparked more possessiveness inside Liam’s gut. Seeing Zayn dancing with that man earlier had ignitded the sharpest force of jealousy and possessiveness Liam had ever felt. Seeing Zayn, _his_ Zayn, being touched like that by someone else made him want to rip the man’s hands off. But Zayn had just been playing a dangerous jealousy game. The boy was truly something else. Did he still not see just how much Liam wanted him and was infatuated by him? Nobody else meant anything or seemed even remotely attractive anymore.

 

“If your mom saw you she’d kill you.” Harry laughed at Zayn.

 

“And your mom will kill you!” Zayn shrieked with laughter as if he had made the funniest joke ever.

 

Everyone else burst out laughing at Zayn’s cackling which made Zayn paused confusedly and look at Liam. Liam just shook his head laughing and kissed Zayn’s parted shiny lips.

 

“Are you guys doing shots without me?” Tom bumped purposely into Liam and grabbed a shot glass for himself.

 

“We wouldn’t dare Tom,” Luke said sarcastically.

 

“Peanut here is out drinking everyone tonight,” Miguel motioned to Zayn and walked behind the bar to grab more tequila.

 

“Peanut?” Tom asked.

 

“NOOOOOO!” Zayn cried and turned around in Liam’s arms to bury his face in Liam’s chest. “They keep calling me peanut like my sister. Make them stop Liam!” Zayn whined.

 

 

“You are a peanut. The cutest tiniest little peanut.” Harry teased and smacked Zayn’s ass.

 

“I’m not.” Zayn muttered.

 

“It’s okay baby you’re _my_ peanut.” Liam said and kissed his head. Zayn flushed at Liam’s words and pressed himself further into Liam.

 

Everyone cooed jokingly at them while Miguel started throwing peanuts at Liam and Zayn.

 

**

 

It was 3 am and Liam was… a little fucked. He felt like he was baby-sitting a toddler high on a sugar rush. Zayn had gotten way past the sane point of drunk. He was… not himself right now. Liam was standing at the back private exit of the club calling Patrick to pick them up and Zayn and Harry were laughing over something pointless a few feet away.

 

“There’s a lot of traffic but I’ll be there in like 20 minutes Liam.” Patrick was saying.

 

“Yeah that’s fine. If you could be quicker I’d appreciate it Paddy. See you.” Liam shut his phone and turned around to see Zayn and Harry singing (more like screaming the lyrics) and dancing.

 

“Every time you try to forget who I am, I’ll be right there- Liam!” Zayn shrieked happily when he saw Liam approaching and ran forward and jumped into his arms.

 

Liam caught Zayn easily as the boy wrapped his thin arms around Liam’s neck and hugged him tightly.

 

“You okay baby?” Liam grinned and squeezed Zayn’s slim waist while kissing him on his temple.

 

“I’m fabulous.” Zayn smiled widely and kissed Liam’s cheek. “Y-you, you are fabulous too. So hot and sexy and hot and sexy,” Zayn slurred while giggling.

 

“You’re very dramatic when you’re drunk aren’t you sweetheart?” Liam asked.

 

“He’s like another entity. This is the second time he’s ever been drunk. You’re in for a wild ride. Till he falls asleep.” Harry smiled while shaking his head at Zayn who was stroking Liam’s beard and humming a song.

 

“Well the car-“

 

_“Jo teri khaatir tadpe pehle se hi kya use tadpana!”_ Zayn started singing loudly in Urdu while he threw his body backwards in a dramatic move and Liam had to quickly stabilize him so he didn’t fall out of Liam’s arms.

 

_“Oh Zaalima, Oh Zaalima.”_ Zayn was smiling at him brightly and stroking Liam’s face while he sang those words. Liam looked at him with a confused and shocked smile not knowing what the boy was saying.

 

Zayn wriggled out of Liam’s arms and jumped to the ground. He started twirling around with his arms spread wide and continued singing as Liam watched speechless and Harry cackled bent over.

 

_“Jo tere ishq mein behka pehle se hi, kya use behkna! Oh Zaalima! Oh Zaalima! Aankhein marhaba, baatein marhaba, mein sau martaba deewana hua. Mera na raha, jab se dil mera, tere husn ka nishana hua. Jis ki har dhadkan tu ho aise dil ko kya dhadkana oh zaalima!”_ In the middle of dramatically singing and dancing he had pulled Harry into the dance as well and they both danced drunkenly and laughed the whole time.

 

Liam watched this whole scenario amused but also felt his heart warming seeing Zayn’s bright and carefree laugh. He was completely uninhibited like this and Liam was so enamoured.

 

“Zayn baby what-“ Liam started but Zayn skipped over to him and pressed a quick kiss to Liam’s cheek then spun away to continue dancing.

 

“He goes very very Bollywood when he’s drunk. Just a heads up.” Harry said.

 

“I think I like drunk Zayn but Zayn won’t like drunk Zayn the next morning. And I don’t want him to get hurt- Zayn!” Liam yelled and ran forward to grab Zayn’s arm as he stumbled towards the sidewalk where crowds of people were.

 

“Baby be careful!” Liam said and pulled Zayn into his arms. “I can’t have you getting hurt.” Liam gripped the boy protectively.

 

“You care about me so much.” Zayn sighed and wrapped his arms around Liam. “You’re a good boyfriend.”  
  
Liam paused at Zayn’s words. They hadn’t started using the term ‘boyfriend’ yet. But they had been doing _this_ and been together for 2-3 weeks now. Liam had no desire to have anyone else. He only wanted Zayn, he only thought constantly of Zayn and he wanted to go more forward with the boy. There was no doubt about how he felt for this boy in his arms. He was the sweetest, kindest, smartest and most beautiful individual Liam had ever come across. And he had no plans on letting Zayn go any time soon. He wanted the boy more and more daily and he already called Zayn _his_ in every sense in his mind and out loud. So they were clearly at that stage. And Zayn thought so too apparently.

 

“Zay! Abort!” Harry said frantically. “You don’t want to be saying this while you’re drunk.”  
  
“What?” Liam asked.

 

“You told me to say it! You- you told me Liam thinks so too!” Zayn started to sound hysterical.

 

“Yes, but I highly doubt you want to be doing it like this,” Harry said.

 

“Liam are you not my boyfriend? I thought you were, Harry said you were.” Zayn’s voice was trembling and he was looking up at Liam with those enigmatic doe-eyes of his, that were filled with unshed tears.

 

“Of course I am baby,” Liam said softly and cupped Zayn’s face to kiss him. “There’s no doubt about it.”

 

“You are?” Zayn asked with innocent hopefulness.

 

“I am,” Liam said kissed him on his nose and smiled at him.

 

“See Harry! I told you!” Zayn yelled.

 

“Actually, I told you and boy are you going to be embarrassed when you remember this tomorrow.” Harry patted Zayn’s arm.

 

“No I-“ Zayn paused wide eyed and gasped. “Look! A McDonalds! Let’s go there!” Zayn stumbled out of Liam’s arms and started running down the busy street.

 

“Zayn!” Liam yelled again. The boy was drunk out of his mind and about to dash across the street. Liam ran after him quickly and pulled Zayn back before he got run over by a cab.

 

“Oops.” Zayn giggled again and tugged Liam by the hand to cross the street.

 

Liam shook his head almost having had a stroke at Zayn walking into traffic. Liam checked back to see if Harry was following, which he was, and they walked into McDonalds.

 

“Parapapapa… I’m lovin’ it!” Zayn threw his hands in the air and sang dramatically.

 

Liam chuckled and squeezed his hand. “Did you want to eat something? You might throw up.”

 

“Noooo I won’t. I want chicken nuggets… ummm… a chocolate sundae… and… oh! A large large big gigantic enormous coke,” Zayn said and leaned up to kiss Liam’s cheek.

 

“Ok you go sit down over there beside Harry,” Liam motioned to where Harry was sprawled on a seat with his head down. “And I’ll buy it for you.”

 

“Okay. You’re like my sugar daddy,” Zayn giggled.

 

Liam grinned and swatted his ass which made Zayn jump and giggle louder. Liam walked towards the front counter where the girl at the cash register was pretending not to be watching them but had an amused smile.

 

“Hey. can I get some chicken nuggets, a chocolate sundae and a large coke,” Liam said and pulled out his credit card.

 

“Sure.” She smiled at him and punched in his order. “Anything else?”

 

“Harry do you want anything?” Liam turned around and asked Harry.

 

“I’ll take a chocolate milkshake please.” Harry said from he lay across a bench now scrolling on his phone. Zayn was sat on top of the table folding napkins into rows.

 

“Add a chocolate milkshake,” Liam said and the girl smiled and nodded.

 

After Liam finished paying he turned around and saw Zayn now arranging straws. Liam shook his head with a fond grin painting his face. Zayn looked up and caught Liam’s eye and grinned brightly. He climbed off the table slowly and walked over with a bashful smile on his face. Liam raised an eyebrow at him but Zayn just quietly folded himself into Liam’s arms and pressed his face against Liam’s chest closing his eyes. He sighed deeply and Liam rubbed circles on the nape of his neck.

 

“You tired babe?” Liam asked and when Zayn nodded. Liam hugged him close to his chest and kissed his head.

 

“Here’s the sundae,” The girl set the sundae down and Liam turned around still holding onto Zayn with one arm and grabbed the sundae.

 

“Thanks,” Liam said and handed it to Zayn.

 

Zayn took it and looked over at the girl and gave her a grin. “This is my boyfriend.” He said proudly and rubbed Liam’s cheek.

 

“That’s nice. You have a very sweet boyfriend.” The girl smiled at Zayn.

 

“Isn’t he? And isn’t he just so handsome too?” Zayn said and patted Liam’s face.

 

Liam held back laughter at drunk Zayn’s ramblings. The girl flashed Liam a smile understandingly and then grinned at Zayn.

 

“He is very handsome.” She flashed Liam a brief appreciative look.

 

Zayn paused around a mouthful of ice cream and withdrew the spoon. “Yes. But you can only look. You can’t touch.” He pointed his spoon at her warningly.

 

“Baby,” Liam laughed. “Your threats are coming off cute instead of scary.”

“I promise I’m doing nothing but looking.” The girl assured Zayn.

 

“Good. ‘Cus he’s all mine.” Zayn pressed a cold and sloppy kiss to Liam’s cheek.

 

“You’re like a possessive kitten Zayn. Come on.” Liam took Zayn’s hand and led him back to the table where Harry sat.

 

“Wait! My food!” Zayn paused a moment to grab his coke, nuggets and Harry’s chocolate shake as well. The he smiled sweetly at Liam and took his hand again to walk back to the table.

 

Zayn plonked down the food which made Harry jump up and glare at Zayn. Zayn just flashed his teeth in a wide smile and grabbed his coke to take a big gulp. Liam wrapped his hand around Zayn’s thigh where he stood beside Liam’s seat.

 

“The car will be here in a few minutes,” Liam said.

 

Zayn hummed absent-mindedly around the straw of his drink. His sudden mellow and lucid behaviour was strangely opposite to his loud energetic behaviour outside. Zayn swayed slowly to the music playing on the radio in McDonalds as he slurped his drink loudly. He opened his eyes and grinned at Liam and ran his hand slowly along Liam’s shoulder and arm as he continued to sway his hips. Liam had to admit he would be enjoying a show like this if Zayn was sober.

 

“You good baby?” Liam asked and squeezed Zayn’s hip.

 

“Mhm.” Zayn smiled and spun around on his heel to start slowly dancing around the empty room. They were the only people in here at this hour other than the two workers who were politely ignoring Zayn’s little show.

 

“Is he- what are you doing?” Liam had turned to Harry only to see him recording Zayn on his phone.

 

“This is gonna make for some good blackmail material.” Harry grinned.

 

“He’s going to kill you, after he dies of embarrassment of course.” Liam smiled.

 

“Haz! It’s Ari!” Zayn started waving his arms and moving his hips in an uncoordinated dance as Ariana Grande’s ‘One Last Time’ came on.

 

“He’s a massive Ariana fan if you haven’t noticed,” Harry told Liam.

 

“I have.” Liam rested his head on his hand and watched Zayn with an affectionate smile.

 

“He didn’t talk to me for a week when I said I didn’t like the song Moonlight,” Harry laughed. “He’s very dedicated.”

 

“Zayn is dedicated to every person and thing that he likes. He doesn’t do anything half-hearted. And that’s what’s so wonderful about him,” Liam said.

 

Liam looked over to see Harry was watching him very carefully.

 

“You do care about him right? And you weren’t just fucking with him back there when you said you’re his boyfriend?” Harry asked.

 

“Of course not. I care for Zayn. So fucking much. He has this hold over me, since the moment we met, that I can’t shake. I want him Harry. A lot. And that isn’t about to change,” Liam said firmly.

 

Harry smiled at Liam and reached over to pat his hand. Liam squeezed Harry’s hand back. Zayn returned a little breathless and dropped into Liam’s lap. He pulled his legs up to curl up in Liam’s lap like a ball and yawned.

 

“Am I going home? I’m tired.” Zayn sighed out.

 

“Did the dancing wear you out? You put on an excellent show.” Liam said as he ran his fingers through Zayn’s hair.

 

“Thank you.” Zayn flushed and closed his eyes where his head lay against Liam’s chest.

 

Liam hummed and kissed Zayn’s brow keeping his lips there for a few seconds. His phone buzzed and he pulled it out to see Patrick had arrived.

 

“Patrick’s here. Let’s go. You can stay at my place tonight as well Harry. It’s late and you can go home tomorrow,” Liam said as he picked up Zayn and stood.

 

“Was it presumptuous of me to have already told my mom I wasn’t coming home since it was so late?” Harry flashed a dimpled grin.

 

Liam laughed and ruffled Harry’s curls then walked out the door to the street. He had texted Patrick to pull up in front of the McDonald’s and he was waiting there. Liam opened the car door and let Harry go in first then climbed in himself, still holding Zayn.

 

“Brooklyn?” Patrick asked.

 

“No just home,” Liam replied.

 

Patrick nodded and pulled away to start driving towards Liam’s penthouse. Harry had stretched out his legs and was yawning tiredly. Liam looked down at Zayn thinking the boy had been asleep but Zayn was looking up at him with cloudy eyes that were blinking slowly.

 

“Is my baby tired?” Liam asked softly and stroked Zayn’s face.

 

“No. I was only pretendin’ cus’ I wanted you to carry me. I’m not sleepy,” Zayn whispered and sat up slowly to straddle Liam.

 

“Zayn-“ Liam started but Zayn hastily kissed him. His lips fell off mark but he quickly righted himself and started kissing Liam desperately.

 

He was letting out obscene sounds as he started grinding on Liam’s lap. Liam’s instincts gave in to the kiss at first because he could never deny the sweet taste of this angelic boy’s sinful lips. But Liam remembered where they were and Zayn’s current state and pulled back.

 

“Not right now baby. You’re drunk out of your mind,” Liam said and rubbed his side gently. He could see Harry watching with a not too well concealed grin.

 

“N-no I’m not. Please Liam,” Zayn whimpered desperately. He bit his lip and blinked his eyes in a coquettish manner and started moving his ass against Liam’s crotch. Liam could barely remember at this moment why he attached the word ‘innocent’ to this boy. He could very well be a devil with a halo.

 

“Zayn,” Liam said sternly as Harry started giggling beside them seeing his best friend behave so out of character.

 

“Pleassseeee Liam. I’ll be so so so good. I promise. I’ll be your good boy,” Zayn breathed out and started kissing along Liam’s neck, his hands desperately clawing at Liam’s shirt.

 

“Zayn, baby, you’re drunk. I’m not going to be doing anything.” Liam pulled Zayn back gently and gave him a firm look.

 

Zayn whimpered desperately and dropped his hand down to rub at Liam’s dick through his pants.

 

“Don’t you want me… Daddy,” Zayn bit his lip and looked at Liam with a heady look.

 

“Daddy- oh my fucking- this is not happening.” Harry fell to the ground in the middle of his laughter.

 

Liam was so shocked he could only spare Harry a glance because Zayn was back to rubbing Liam through his pants and licking his neck.

 

“Zayn for the love of-“

 

“I know you like it when I call you Daddy. Don’t pretend like you don’t. I like it too. So please fuck me Daddy I’ll be so good for you I swear.” Zayn started humping him even more desperately and making desperate moans as he tried to get Liam to do something.

 

“No. Behave baby.” Liam grabbed Zayn’s smaller hands in one hand of his own and held them in a firm grasp. He wrapped his other arm around Zayn’s waist to hold on to him tightly and stop his movements.

 

“Why not!” Zayn slurred out annoyed, his voice high-strung. “Please Liam I need you so badly!”

 

“How about this, if you behave right now, I’ll fuck you so good when we get back to my place that you’ll feel it for weeks. Sound good?” Liam murmured to Zayn gently.

 

A smile spread across Zayn’s face and he stopped his wriggling and grinding. “Promise?”

 

“I promise baby.” Liam kissed his forehead.

 

“Ok! It’s gonna be so so good.” Zayn sighed and dropped his head against Liam’s chest.

 

“I’ll blow your mind baby boy.” Liam kissed his neck and Zayn practically purred.

 

Liam smiled down at the boy who was cuddling up close to Liam and sighing contently. A few seconds later and his breathing was evening out.

 

“You’re not… you’re not actually going to fuck him while he’s in this state, are you?” Harry asked. Liam looked up to see Harry looking at him with his brows scrunched.

 

“Fuck of course not. Is that what you think of me?” Liam asked.

 

“No. No I don’t. You’re a good guy but I’m always looking out for Zayn so I had to be sure you know,” Harry replied.

 

Liam was silent for a second but he understood where the boy was coming from. He looked down at Zayn now asleep in his lap and felt a rush of overwhelming fond and protectiveness for the boy. He looked even more innocent asleep like this. His beautiful eyelashes sweeping across his cheekbones, his hair fallen across his forehead and his chest rising and falling slowly. Liam ran a gentle hand through the silky raven locks he was so obsessed with. Then he lowered his head to kiss Zayn’s forehead and his delicate cheekbone and tightened his hold on the boy.

 

“He means more to me than you would ever understand.” Liam finally said to Harry.

 

“I’m glad. Zayn deserves only good things and he deserves someone like you. Thank you.” Harry said in a soft voice.

 

“You don’t have to thank me. It’s impossible not to adore someone like Zayn. I’m thankful for the day I ran into him in that library,” Liam said.

 

“Ah yes. The library. Where it all began. Truthfully, we should thank the universe and all its conspiracies that brought you to our school and then somehow made Zayn and my name both get drawn. That still blows me away.” Harry shook his head in wonder.

 

Liam bit back a smirk and cleared his throat. “Conspiracies indeed. Orchestrated by myself.”

 

“What do you mean?” Harry said with a confused look.

 

“I mean, the universe didn’t magically make both of your names get drawn together by sheer coincidence.” Liam grinned.

 

Harry looked confused then his mouth fell open. “You mean you- manipulated the draw and lied?”

 

“I wouldn’t say manipulate. I chose to say the names I thought deserved it the most. And truthfully, I wanted to see Zayn again and have him be near me. He turned my world upside down the moment I saw his hazel eyes peer at me from behind his copy of The Great Gatsby. I knew I couldn’t let that go,” Liam said.

 

“Holy… fucking… shit.” Harry said slowly. “You really are something else.”

 

“Not me. _Zayn_ is truly something else. All this has happened because I wanted him so much.” Liam said and traced Zayn’s face with his finger.

 

“That’s still… I don’t even now. I guess I should thank you for lying to get me the internship as well because I do love working for you. And Zayn will flip when he finds out.” Harry grinned.

 

“Don’t tell him just yet. I’ll tell him eventually though,” Liam said.

 

“Of course. He’ll be blown away though. He’ll never admit this but he’s such a romantic at heart. He’s always wanted an epic love story his whole life. Like the kind he’s always seen in the Bollywood movies he loves. His prince to come sweep him away. And he got you. It’s brilliant. Thank you for being that special someone for my ZayZay,” Harry said with a bright smile.

 

“And I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. I’ve never wanted someone and cared for someone so… so ferociously. Everything and everyone is so bleak compared to Zayn’s vibrant light. He’s the purest person I’ve ever met and it may sound crazy considering how new our relationship is but I would literally do _anything_ for this boy.” Liam said and kissed Zayn’s forehead, inhaling his sweet scent. Zayn stirred in his sleep and let out a soft content sigh.

 

“That’s so cute. Intense, but God, so fucking cute. I kind of hate you two.” Harry smiled and shifted in his seat to get comfortable.

 

Liam smiled back at Harry and looked out the window realizing they were pulling into his private section in the building’s underground garage where he kept all his cars. Patrick pulled to a stop and Liam balanced Zayn’s sleeping form and opened the door.

 

“Thanks Paddy. Have a good night,” Liam said and got out of the car followed by Harry.

 

They took the elevator up to Liam’s penthouse in silence considering how tired they were and Harry practically slid to the floor to take a mini-rest. When they walked into Liam’s place it was completely dark with only the living room light on at a dim setting.

 

“The guest rooms are upstairs as well Harry,” Liam said as he started walking up the stairs still holding Zayn. Harry yawned and dragged his body up the stairs after Liam.

 

When they got upstairs Liam pointed at one of his guest rooms and Harry drawled a good night then walked away. Liam walked into his room and didn’t bother turning on the lights. His blinds were open and the floor to ceiling windows were bringing in the city lights to create a glow in the room. Liam walked over to his bed and pulled back his sheets then settled Zayn down into it. He pulled off Zayn’s shoes and socks then his jacket and jeans. Zayn was left in only his t-shirt and boxers which was his preferred sleeping state as Liam knew. Liam pressed a kiss to Zayn’s forehead who sighed in his sleep and Liam smiled then walked away to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

 

**

 

This is what death must feel like. Zayn blinked open his eyes slowly. His head felt like someone was drilling holes into it. His mouth tasted like shit and was dry like paper. He groaned and moved his heavy limbs to lie straight. When his vision focused, he looked around and realized he was in Liam’s room. They must have come here after the club. Thank God the blinds had been closed because Zayn would not be able to handle piercing sunlight right now. He looked to the side and Liam wasn’t beside him. But he could hear the shower running and that’s probably where the man was. Zayn touched a hand to his pounding head and truly wished he had died instead of drinking this much. He didn’t even remember much after going into the private lounge in Red and someone suggested shots. Nothing after that was coming back to him. Zayn groaned feeling nausea surge up and rolled over to bury his face in Liam’s pillow. Smelling Liam’s scent calmed something inside his body and he even smiled despite his pain. The bathroom door opened and Liam came out in just a towel that was slung low on his hips. His wet body was glistening and his wet hair was falling across his forehead. How he looked so good and fresh while Zayn felt like death was upon him. Zayn licked his dry lips and felt his half-hard dick twitch at seeing Liam’s body.

 

“I see you’re awake. Morning baby.” Liam smiled at Zayn from across the room.

 

Zayn smiled back weakly as Liam pulled on dress pants and a shirt. He didn’t button up the shirt yet but instead walked over to Zayn and sat down beside him. He reached forward and pushed Zayn’s hair off his face. Zayn sighed and leaned into the touch as Liam cupped his face and leaned down to kiss him.

 

“No,” Zayn stopped Liam. “I taste gross.”

 

“Don’t care.” Liam kissed him gently then moved back and took Zayn’s hand.

 

“How do you feel?” Liam asked him.

 

“I feel like I’m dying. My head hurts so much, I feel nauseous and I can’t remember anything from last night.” Zayn groaned.

 

Liam laughed and squeezed his hand then started rubbing his thumb over Zayn’s knuckles. “Maybe it’s good that you don’t remember anything. You were wild last night and while I don’t mind I know you get embarrassed easily.”

 

Zayn felt his stomach drop. This was one of the reasons he didn’t like drinking. People lost control and did and said things they regret later. And he had no idea what he could have said or done in that state.

 

“What, what did I say.” Zayn said sounding panicked.

 

“Well you sang and danced to some Bollywood song, Za-Zaalima or something in the middle of the street then ran across the busy street into McDonalds where you continued to dance and sing and stake your claim over me because some innocent cashier looked at me. On the ride back you got really horny and were begging me to fuck you in the car in front of Harry, and you called me Daddy in front of him,” Liam said with a smirk.

 

“What?!? No no no.” Zayn buried his face in his hands.

 

“And before that on the street after you did a dance number you asked me if I was your boyfriend,” Liam said that in a serious tone.

 

“Oh. I- umm. Fuck. Liam…” Zayn felt panic start coursing through his veins and his skin felt too hot. This was so fucked up. He had wanted to have the ‘boyfriend talk’ with Liam while sober but he had fucked everything up while being drunk.

 

“You insisted that I was your boyfriend to Harry. And Zayn-“ Liam paused and pulled Zayn’s hands off his face.

 

Zayn blinked his eyes open feeling his heart race in fear. Liam had a serious expression on his face. He took Zayn’s hands gently and made him sit up.

 

“I don’t know why you were so afraid or worried that I would say no or wouldn’t want the same thing baby. I do want the same things. I want you. All of you. Not just the sex, which I admit is fucking out of this world,” Liam laughed and Zayn flushed. “But everything. I love being with you, getting to know every little thing about you, going out with you or staying in with you. Just _you_ Zayn. You, your smile, your laugh, your conversations, your innocent outlook on everything, your devilish side, your kind heart. I want all of you. I want what we have and so much more. And basically, my sweet boy, that makes us boyfriends. So yes baby, I am your boyfriend. Get that into your little head.” Liam tapped his head gently then took his hands and kissed them.

 

Zayn sat there utterly shocked and looked at Liam speechlessly. He was pretty sure there was still some dry drool on his face. His hair was probably pointing in every which way. He smelled like a fucking brewery and probably looked completely fucked over. But Liam had just said _that._ A fucking proclamation of some kind. Zayn felt floored like that time on the phone when Liam had assured him how much he wanted him.

 

“Liam,” Zayn’s voice came out trembling. He didn’t know what to say so he tossed aside the sheets and crawled into Liam’s lap. He wrapped his arms around the man’s neck and buried his face in his neck.

 

“I- I thought you might not want that. I keep thinking, keep fearing that you only want some casual sex. I don’t even- You mean so much to me that I can’t put it into words sometimes. I just. I’m really happy. You’re so perfect and I wanted more than just sex and I’m so happy and- and-“ Zayn’s voice was shaking.

 

“Sh sh sh. I don’t want anything casual from you baby. You’re not meant for casual Zayn Malik. You’re meant for epic. And I’m not about to let this thing between us go. I want more too Zayn. So much more. I feel like I know where this can head one day but for now baby just know, this is real. And stop worrying yourself sweetheart. I _am_ your boyfriend in every which way.” Liam moved back and cupped Zayn’s face to kiss him deeply.

 

Zayn made a sound of shock because he knew his mouth probably tasted awful but Liam didn’t care and continued kissing him. He pressed Zayn back into the pillows and started licking into his mouth. Zayn sighed and ran his hands down Liam’s bare chest which was exposed in the open shirt. Liam started kissing along his jaw and down towards his neck when Zayn froze and hurriedly pushed him back.

 

“What’s wrong?” Liam asked concerned.

 

“I- I’m about to throw up-“ Zayn’s eyes widened and he shot up from the bed to run to the bathroom.

 

He slid to his knees in front of the toilet and started emptying out his stomach. He was so busy retching he hadn’t noticed Liam was behind him. He was kneeling on the ground behind Zayn and holding his head with one hand and rubbing a soothing hand down his back with the other.

 

“D- don’t… I don’t want you to see me like this,” Zayn choked out as his stomach convulsed again and he threw up again.

 

“Nonsense baby.” Liam rubbed his back gently.

 

When Zayn was finally done, Liam pressed the flush button on the toilet for him and slowly turned him around. Zayn could barely move and his body felt like it was being run over by a truck. He felt a cool wet cloth being pressed to his face and he realized that Liam was cleaning his face off. When he was done, he pressed a kiss to Zayn’s head.

 

“You should take a shower. It’s step one in the hangover cure and afterwards have some coffee and breakfast. I’ll tell Mary to make you something.” Liam said and stroked his sweaty hair.

 

“I can’t eat anything right now.” Zayn mumbled and dropped his head onto Liam’s shoulder.

 

“You need to though. You just threw up and you haven’t eaten anything since yesterday. Come on.” Liam helped him up. “Take a shower and I’ll leave you some clothes. Then when you’re done you can come down ok?”

 

“Ok.” Zayn said although he just wanted to lie on the cool marble floors of the bathroom and never get up again.

 

“See you in a few baby.” Liam kissed his head then left the bathroom.

 

Zayn dragged off his clothes with heavy arms then turned the shower on to a cold setting and stepped straight into the freezing spray hoping it would shock the headache out of him.

 

**

 

The shower didn’t help. With every step he took it felt like his brain was being shaken up inside his head. This was the worst he had ever felt in the longest time. The throbbing pain in his head coupled with the nausea that didn’t go away was fucking awful. Zayn walked slowly into Liam’s living room holding his head with both hands. Liam was reclined on his sofa, now completely dressed, his iPad in his hands and a coffee cup on the table in front of him. Zayn felt slightly annoyed that while he felt like dying, Liam was fresh and unaffected by last night’s heavy drinking. Zayn practically dragged himself forward and Liam looked up from his iPad and grinned at him.

 

“Shut up.” Zayn moaned and dropped heavily into Liam’s lap.

 

Liam laughed softly and put his iPad aside and pressed a few kisses to Zayn’s hairline.  Zayn cuddled up as closely as he could to Liam’s body and inhaled his fresh scent which helped Zayn feel more calm and less nauseous. Liam started massaging his head and Zayn sighed at the pleasurable feeling and pressed into the soft but firm touch.

 

“Did the shower not help?” Liam asked and stroked Zayn’s arm with his free hand.

 

“Uh-uh.” Zayn answered with his eyes still closed. The gentle massage Liam was giving his head felt wonderful. But the general feeling of death and nausea was so much that Zayn groaned and clutched his stomach.

 

“Hangovers suck. This is why I don’t drink.” Zayn blinked open his eyes and pouted at Liam.

 

“Well you did go a little crazy. You drank more than normal people do for their first or second time and you were completely plastered. Your re-enactment of Bollywood songs in the middle of the street and the rendezvous at McDonalds would prove that. Let’s not forgot what you did in the car.” Liam grinned and pinched his cheek.

 

“Oh God. Harry is never gonna let that go.” Zayn groaned and buried his face into Liam’s stomach while stretching his legs along the length of the sofa.

 

Liam laughed fondly and stroked Zayn’s hair where his head lay in Liam’s lap.

 

“You need to hydrate and maybe have some coffee and painkillers. And breakfast for sure.” Liam said.

 

“Mm. Later. I just wanna lay here for now.” Zayn sighed.

 

Liam hummed and continued to run his hand through Zayn’s hair gently, occasionally rubbing at his temples and forehead. Zayn felt so content to just lay here in Liam’s lap, he was close to purring like a cat.

 

“You’re like a kitten. The cutest little kitten.” Liam squeezed Zayn’s face gently between his hand and Zayn made an annoyed sound which prompted Liam to press messy kisses to his face until Zayn started giggling.

 

“Liam. You’re bothering me and I can’t recuperate like this.” Zayn pouted up at Liam angrily.

 

“Well Mr. recuperation maybe if I gave you an orgasm it would help make you feel better. I’ve read those are good for hangovers.” Liam smirked and ran his hand down Zayn’s body.

 

“I haven’t read that anywhere,” Zayn said and looked at him pointedly.

 

“Because you never needed to before,” Liam said and flipped Zayn onto the sofa and climbed on top of him.

 

“Liam!” Zayn shouted sounding half-exasperated and half-amused.

 

“Baby,” Liam replied and kissed Zayn with just the slightest amount of pressure. Zayn sighed into it and started kissing Liam back lazily.

 

“Do you two ever take a rest? I swear Zayn you’ve surpassed my forever horny label.” Harry walked into the room yawning and fell down onto the sofa beside them.

 

Zayn glared at Harry because as much as he loved the curly-haired boy he was cock blocking him right now.

 

“Forgot you were here too,” Zayn muttered and sat up as Liam moved off him. Harry tossed a pillow at Zayn’s head and Zayn whined in annoyance.

 

Liam kissed his head and rubbed it gently as Zayn curled up against Liam’s side again dropping his head onto Liam’s shoulder and draping his arm over his stomach.

 

“Ugh. You’ve got a boyfriend to help you through your hangovers while I’m here alone in my misery.” Harry complained while laying back against the sofa.

 

“You said yourself you only wanted to hook up with Miguel.” Zayn looked over at Harry.

 

“Yeah I know. I just meant like in general. It would be nice to have a boyfriend like Liam.” Harry sighed.

 

“You’ll be fine Harry. You’re a cute kid and you’re only 18,” Liam said as he rubbed tender circles along Zayn’s side.

 

“We can only hope,” Harry groaned.

 

“I have to take a call and I’m gonna ask Mary to send in some breakfast for you guys,” Liam said and started to get up from the sofa.

 

“Don’t go.” Zayn grabbed onto Liam’s hand and gave him what he knew was his most innocent looking doe-eyed look that always made Liam lose his mind a little.

 

“Baby. Behave. I’ll be back in a minute.” Liam kissed his nose then his lips and walked away.

 

“So you went a little rogue last night huh.” Harry sat up and grinned at Zayn.

 

“I remember bits and pieces but when I woke up Liam explained everything to me. The incident on the street, the McDonalds stuff, the embarrassing incident in the car and the um… how I called him my boyfriend…” Zayn said.

 

“Yeah. You did. But he told you that he is your boyfriend so you’re good right?” Harry asked.

 

“Yeah we had ‘the talk’ this morning. I guess I can finally label this relationship. We’re boyfriends. Wow… I have a boyfriend.” Zayn said feeling a little stunned still.

 

“I’m so happy for you ZayZay you deserve a good man like Liam.” Harry scooted over and hugged Zayn tightly.

 

Liam walked back in followed by Mary who was pushing a cart filled with food that was giving off a delicious aroma but made Zayn feel queasy. Liam sat back down beside Zayn who instantly crawled halfway back into Liam’s lap and buried his face in Liam’s chest. Liam wrapped his arms around Zayn securely and kissed his head several times.

 

“You should eat too Harry. Hangovers on an empty stomach are a bitch.” Liam said. “And thank you Mary.”

 

“No problem. Enjoy your breakfast boys.” She smiled at them and walked away.

 

“Eat baby.” Liam squeezed him gently.

 

Zayn groaned and got up slowly to grab a glass of juice. Harry was already eating a plate of scrambled eggs.

 

“You’re a little insta-famous Zayn have you checked your phone?” Liam asked him as Zayn settled back into Liam’s side with a piece of toast in his hand.

 

“What? No. My phone is dead. Wh-what happened?” Zayn said panicking a little.

 

“Tom took a picture last night of you and me and put it on his Instagram. I was tagged in it so people started noticing and now everyone is curious to know who my new ‘boy’ is.” Liam was grinning but Zayn felt panic strike.

 

“Can I see?” Zayn asked.

 

Liam handed over his phone and Harry moved over to peek over Zayn’s shoulder as well. The picture Tom had taken had been from when they had been sitting in the private lounge and having drinks.  This was probably after all the shots he drank because Zayn did not remember this in the slightest. The picture was of Zayn sitting in Liam’s lap, a drink in one hand, and he was sticking his tongue out at the camera with his eyes closed and his nose scrunched. Liam had one arm wrapped around Zayn and was pressing a kiss to Zayn’s cheek, a drink in his other hand. But the focus of the picture was Zayn and that was even more obvious by the caption: _“Peanut are you drunk?”_

 

“Peanut? Pea- who mentioned Peanut?” Zayn asked confused by his childhood nickname being re-surfaced.

 

“You did!” Harry exclaimed laughing. “You told everyone yourself Zayn. You told everyone how Doniya used to call you Peanut when you were younger and everyone started calling you that last night.”

“Oh no.” Zayn groaned. “Wonderful. Guess that’s gonna stick.” He could remember bits and pieces of telling that story to everyone and he vaguely remembered sitting in Liam’s lap drinking endlessly and giggling as Liam kissed his neck and whispered filthy stuff just to see Zayn blush.

 

“Don’t be mad Peanut. You’re adorable.” Liam teased and kissed his cheek

 

“Not you too.” Zayn groaned and rubbed his head. “I hope my family doesn’t see this. They still don’t know about me dating you.”

“Unless if your family exclusively keeps up with me or follows Tom, they’ll never know. And I doubt they do so you’re good baby.” Liam squeezed his hand and pressed a kiss to it.

 

“Inshallah.” Zayn muttered feeling some nausea creep again just thinking about his family seeing this and freaking out.

 

“Hey, if you want me to ask Tom to delete this…” Liam said softly probably sensing Zayn’s panic.

 

“No you don’t have to do that. And you’re probably right. There’s like a 5% chance anyone in my family would ever see that. I don’t think they really know you and they definitely don’t know Tom so they won’t see it. And I’m not even tagged.” Zayn said.

 

He scrolled through some comments which were mostly people who were fans of Liam from his football days and were wondering who the boy in his lap was. Zayn handed Liam’s phone back to him not interested in seeing any hate comments if they popped up.

 

“You going home Zay?” Harry asked as he sipped on coffee.

 

“I don’t know. I don’t really want to.” Zayn turned to look at Liam. “Do you have plans today?”

 

“Unfortunately I have some work stuff to handle even though it’s Saturday. I have a meeting with some clients today,” Liam said and rubbed Zayn’s leg where it was thrown halfway across his lap.

 

“Oh.” Zayn said.

 

“You can hang out here and recover. I’ll be back in a few hours. Or I can get Patrick to take you home,” Liam said.

 

“I should go home. My family already suspects so much and my constant disappearing is probably making it worse,” Zayn said although his heart just wanted him to stay with Liam.

 

“Sure baby. You can come back tonight if you want,” Liam said and pulled Zayn closer into his side and kissed his pout.

 

“Maybe. I won’t be able to stay though because my parents won’t believe all these so-called sleepovers I have at Harry’s.” Zayn sighed.

 

“See if you had more friends than just me you could be lying about sleepovers at their homes too,” Harry teased.

 

“Fuck off,” Zayn said and kicked Harry.

 

“You could say you’re having a sleepover at my place. Your family doesn’t have to know the nature of these sleepovers and how there’s very little sleep involved.” Liam smirked and pressed a kiss to Zayn’s lips.

 

“Nasties.” Harry chastised.

 

“Says you,” Zayn raised his eyebrows at Harry and shook his head. “I can’t believe you hooked up with a man who is like 10 years older than you in a bathroom stall.”

 

“Excuse me? Pot meet kettle bitch. Your boyfriend who you fuck on the regular is also like 10 years older than you.” Harry threw a cushion at Zayn.

 

“8 years but he’s still right Zayn, you can’t police him.” Liam gave Zayn a pointed look.

 

“Oh whatever. Your nasty scale still outweighs me.” Zayn shrugged his shoulders.

 

“Excuse me?!” Harry yelled incredulously. He jumped into Zayn’s lap straddling him and pinned his hands back. “Last night you were acting like a dog in heat. Oh, and Daddy? Fucking _Daddy_ Zayn? You’ve surpassed me babe.”

 

Zayn flushed a deep red colour and pushed Harry out of his lap and left the room in an embarrassed huff as Liam and Harry started laughing.

 

 

**

 

“Did you have fun with Harry?”

 

“Hmm?” Zayn looked up from where he was slyly texting Liam under the table to see his mom looking at him.

 

“I said did you have fun with Harry last night? Where is your head at Beta?” Tricia looked at him inquisitively as if trying to read Zayn.

 

His whole family was around the table having an early dinner and Zayn had been preoccupied with texting his boyfriend (just thinking of that word caused him goosebumps). He was planning on seeming Liam again after dinner and was going to tell his parents he was going to the movies.

 

“Yes it was fun. Actually um… we’re going to the movies after dinner,” Zayn said.

 

“Again? Zayn in all your life you’ve never been out this much as you have been in the last few weeks. And all these sleepovers…” Tricia looked at him searching for an answer.

 

“Maa I just. I want to have some fun before college starts in September. And usually I’m always so anxious but I feel good these days. I like being with Harry and my new work friends,” Zayn said, his voice shaky.

 

“It’s fine Zayn.” Yaser reassured him. “We trust you Beta. Just don’t be doing anything too wild as your send off to college.”

 

Tricia looked like she wanted to say more but Yaser gave her a look, signalling her to let it go. Zayn was glad his Baba was all about letting him go out these days because he had told them he wanted to grow out of his shell and get a better handle on his social anxiety. His Baba supported it and technically it wasn’t a complete lie so he was okay.

 

“Can I come to the movies too Bhaiya?” Safaa asked him sounding hopeful.

 

“Sorry buttercup. It’s not for kids. And you’ll miss your bedtime.” Zayn apologized and leaned over to kiss her forehead. “I’ll take you to see a movie sometime this week I promise.”

“If Zayn is going out with his friends can I go hang out with Holly?” Waliyha asked.

 

“Fine but as long you don’t stay out too late. Zayn is 18 and you’re only 15 its no competition.” Tricia warned Waliyha.

 

“Fine.” Waliyha grumbled and shot Zayn an annoyed look. Zayn only grinned back at her to annoy her further.

 

**

 

 

“We’re what?!” Zayn asked in astonishment.

 

“Going to the Hamptons.” Liam grinned at Zayn who looked like a spooked raccoon, his eyes wide, as he stared at Liam.

 

They stood in Liam’s private garage about to get into his car and Liam had just told Zayn where they were going. The boy had come back to Liam’s place an hour ago and Liam had informed him they were going somewhere spur-of-the-moment.

 

“Is everything you do so spontaneous?” Zayn asked shocked as he climbed into the passenger seat.

 

“Yeah baby. Didn’t you pick that up when I took you to Paris.” Liam kissed Zayn and moved back in his seat to turn the car on. “Me and Niall were talking and we decided to have an impromptu sort of party bonfire thing. My family has a house in the Hamptons where my parents live now. They’re on vacation but we’re going to make use of the house. It’s right on the beach.”

 

“How many people will be there?” Zayn asked.

 

“Not a lot. Just a bunch of my friends. Most of them being the guys you met last night.” Liam kept the roof of the car down and drove out of the garage onto the street. “And also, Miguel offered to pick Harry up so he’s coming too.”

Zayn smiled at Liam’s thoughtfulness and leaned over in his seat to kiss Liam’s cheek. “I guess it will be fun. I can’t swim so I’ll stay away from the water but the bonfire sounds fun.”

“I kind of like the idea of fucking you with an ocean view.” Liam smirked and squeezed Zayn’s thigh.

 

“Insatiable.” Zayn smiled and leaned his head back enjoying the breeze in his hair as Liam pulled onto the highway and turned the music up louder.

 

 

**

 

 

“Liam!”

 

Liam had just walked onto the back deck of the Hampton’s house when a body collided with his, jumping on him and wrapping legs and arms around his body. He caught the person in surprise and looked down to see that it was his friend Naudia.

 

“Nadz!” Liam hugged her back tightly and kissed her head then set her back on the ground. “Excited to see me?”

 

“Yes you jackass it’s been nearly a month!” She exclaimed and hit his arm.

 

Liam laughed and saw Zayn watching them a little awkwardly. Liam grabbed Zayn’s hand and tugged him towards himself and wrapped an arm around his waist.

 

“Nadz this is Zayn my boyfriend. Zayn this is Naudia, my friend, more like a very annoying third sister sometimes.” Liam said with a fond smile as Naudia punched him lightly.

 

“Nice to meet you.” Zayn smiled at her and she returned his smile.

 

“Nice to meet you too Zayn. God everyone brought dates and significant others and I feel lonely now,” Naudia groaned.

 

“Where’s Maria?” Liam asked her after looking around and not spotting Naudia’s girlfriend.

 

“Working. She might try and make it here really late but it’s not likely.” Naudia sighed. “Anyways look at me holding you guys up. Almost everyone is here and I saw the boys hauling in the drinks.”  
  
She turned around and went back down to the beach where everyone was scattered.

 

“Come on,” Liam took Zayn’s hand sensing that the boy was nervous and led him down to the beach area.

 

The bonfire had already been started and the fire looked magnificent against the sky with the setting sun. Music was already playing and everyone was drinking and some even dancing. Liam could spot Luke, Vince, Jasmine and Ashley already in the ocean in their swim suits. He had a feeling this late-night swim would turn into skinny dipping very soon.

 

“Finally Payno!” Tom tossed him a beer as he approached.

 

“You people have made yourselves right at home haven’t you?” Liam asked with a grin.

 

“Not people Liam. Family. Hi Peanut.” Niall said with a teasing smile as he approached with a drink in hand.

 

“Oh God.” Zayn buried his face in Liam’s arm and everyone laughed.

 

“I don’t know how you guys can survive on just beer but I need food.” Ameera came up to Liam and gave him a quick hug then nudged him in the ribs.

 

“You should have ordered pizzas then guys.” Liam said. “Besides this was a bonfire I thought you would be bringing hotdogs Niall you’re such a letdown.”  
  
“But is that new information?” Ameera asked.

 

“Pardon?” Niall asked Ameera, feigning shock.

 

“I see Harry over there I’ll be back,” Zayn whispered to Liam.

 

“Wait.” Liam yanked Zayn back who fell against Liam’s chest with a surprise.

 

Liam kissed Zayn intensely, his hands travelling down Zayn’s back to cup his ass. Zayn jumped a little but pressed up against Liam.

 

“Stop sexually harassing little peanut here all the time Liam.” Liam felt a smack on his head and turned to the side to see Miguel and Josh joining them.

 

“I will literally throw all of you out of my house.” Liam said.

 

Zayn squeezed Liam’s hand and slipped away slowly, probably nervous with all the attention. Liam watched him cross the beach to go over to where Harry was talking to Naudia and Gabe. Liam watched as Zayn walked over to them and hugged Harry and was greeted with a hug by Gabe as well.

 

“Liam look at you, you’re so gone for the boy you’re not even paying attention.” Liam turned to see his friends grinning at him. Ameera was the one who had said that and Liam raised an eyebrow at her.

 

“And?” Liam asked. He was way beyond gone for Zayn it was just a fact.

 

“It’s cute. You’re never like this,” Josh said with a smile.

 

“Liam might be in love guys. Take it easy,” Tom said with a sympathetic pat.

 

“Love? A little ahead of yourselves guys.” Liam laughed it off and glanced up at Zayn again.

 

He couldn’t help it. His eyes were always drawn to the boy. Zayn was smiling as Gabe told some story to the three of them that stood there. The bonfire was creating a beautiful glow on his face coupled with the setting sun and he looked ethereal. As if on cue Zayn looked up and caught Liam’s eye. He blushed when he noticed Liam was staring back at him. Liam smirked at the boy and winked at him. Then it happened so quickly. One second Liam was just staring at Zayn grinning at him as the boy smiled back with the small stretch of beach between them. Then he heard shouts and whoops as the ones swimming from before climbed out. Everything was a blur but Liam saw Vice push Gabe and Harry into the water then Luke grabbed Naudia by the waist and threw her in amidst the shrieks of laughter. Then, Luke grabbed Zayn around the waist and threw him into the ocean too. Nothing registered to Liam except that one second of complete fear he saw on Zayn’s face before he disappeared into the water. Liam’s stomach dropped and cold and utter dread washed over him as he remembered Zayn’s words “I can’t swim. I’m afraid of the water.”

 

“Zayn!” Liam distantly heard himself yelling in fear for the boy as he ran forward. But it had gotten dark and he couldn’t see clearly. He saw Zayn’s head bob once or twice before it disappeared.

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! Next chapter is a milestone (also the 10th one wow) with emotional moments and all that good stuff. Again I just wanted to say that this fic is quite long so those who are waiting for some major major angst to hit that's a little far off but I still include emotional moments here and there as we progress. Plus I keep getting asked by multiple people when Louis will enter and I want to let you all know Louis isn't entering for some time yet. He's going to come in when Zayn and Harry go to NYU and he's living in their dorm and they become friends. There will be side larry in the sense that i will imply when they like each other and get together BUT I won't be writing any larry scenes, this is just a ziam fic. Again thanks for all your continued support and love, I love you all. 
> 
> P.S. I'm not entirely sure when chap10 will be up, please bear me with me. but I hope it's within the next week or two (prob two). 
> 
> \--
> 
> Urdu translations:  
> -Inshallah: If Allah wills it (said when you're hoping for something to happen)
> 
> -the song Zayn sang while drunk is 'Zaalima' from the bollywood movie Raaes and if u wanna listen to it heres the link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpdRqn6xwiM
> 
> the translation to it: --Jo teri khaatir tadpe pehle se hi kya use tadpana (the one who is already suffering for you why make him suffer even more Oh you tormentor/cruel one)  
> \--Oh Zaalima, Oh Zaalima (Oh you tormentor)  
> \--Jo tere ishq mein behka pehle se hi, kya use behkna! Oh Zaalima! Oh Zaalima! Aankhein marhaba, baatein marhaba, mein sau martaba deewana hua. Mera na raha, jab se dil mera, tere husn ka nishana hua. Jis ki har dhadkan tu ho aise dil ko kya dhadkana oh zaalima (the one who's already intoxicated, why intoxicate him even more, Oh you tormentor... your eyes are beautiful, your talks are beautiful, I have become crazy a hundred times. my heart hasn't remained mine, since it became the target of your beauty... the one whose every heartbeat is yours, why make that heart beat even faster, Oh you tormentor) 
> 
> \---
> 
> (side note: if people didn't know this when liam says "then I'm eros and you're psyche" eros is the son of aphrodite and he is the god of sexual attraction and his wife is psyche the goddess of the soul)


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys it's been a while. I apologize again for taking so long but life has been busy and unexpected and I try my best to write whenever I have time. I love you all and thank you so much for always showing my little fic so much love and support. Every single sweet message/comment means the world to me, seriously. This chapter was fun to write because it varied between cute/fluffy stuff and some serious/emotional stuff which I love writing. It is quite cheesy and dramatic at times too lol but that's me. I hope you like it. Enjoy! :)

 

 

Zayn. Zayn. Zayn. _Zayn._ Oh God. Zayn. Zayn can’t swim. Zayn can’t swim.

 

Liam’s heart was thudding uncontrollably, he could hear the sharp pounding in his ears.

 

Everything else in his vision had faded away, he could hear nothing, see nothing. He wasn’t even aware when he had started running but his feet were pounding across the beach towards the ocean. He could distantly hear someone yelling his name and some frantic crying that sounded like Harry. Nothing mattered though. Liam kicked off his shoes but didn’t bother with any of his other clothes and jumped straight into the ocean. The cold water hit his skin like a shock and he finally shook out of his initial state of cold and numbing fear. Now he only felt adrenaline pumping in his body and the simple need to find Zayn. His Zayn. Zayn and his beautiful eyes, his tinkling laugh, his gentle smiles, his soft voice, his pure heart. If anything happened to him…

 

Liam couldn’t see Zayn under the water and it was getting dark out. He broke through the surface of the water and looked around desperately. His wet clothes were clinging to him and he pushed his hair out his eyes.

 

“Zayn!” Liam yelled desperately.

 

“Zayn! ZayZay!” Liam could hear Harry shouting through frantic tears on the edge of the beach. Niall was holding the shaking boy and everyone else looked scared. Everyone was yelling for Zayn as well and Liam could see a few of the boys wading into the water to help him look.

 

Liam dove in again. Where could Zayn be? Surely Luke did not throw him that far. But in his panic the boy must have floundered a bit and sunk down. What if he had drowned? The sheer panic and fear that was throbbing in Liam’s heart felt like a physical pain. Liam swam out a little further and pushed down in the water. His heavy and wet clothes were making it difficult to swim downwards but he didn’t care and pushed harder. He needed to find Zayn. Anything could have happened to him and Liam would never forgive himself and definitely not Luke for throwing him in. The boy had crept into his heart and taken it over completely. Liam was not even aware of how desperately he cared for the boy until now. When there was a chance he might not see him again. If he found Zayn he would never let him go. He would never let those bright beautiful eyes hold the fear and panic he saw before he fell into the water again.

 

Just when Liam was about to swim towards the surface to take another deep breath he saw something that caught his eye. His heartbeat picked up and he swam forward madly and to his utter relief and panic he realized it was Zayn. Not moving. Liam swam as fast as he could and wrapped an arm around Zayn’s still body and swam to the surface. He broke through and took in a big gulp of air.

 

“Zayn! Baby! Sweetheart open your eyes,” Liam said anxiously and patted his face gently. Zayn didn’t move. Liam felt panic strike his body. He held onto Zayn securely and swam back towards the beach.

 

He heard shouts from the others when they realized Liam had found Zayn. Liam swam as fast as he could while holding onto Zayn. When he got to the edge Niall ran forward and helped him pick Zayn up and place him on the sand. Liam fell to his knees beside Zayn’s unmoving body.

 

“He’s not- he’s not responding…” Liam choked out in fear.

 

“He needs CPR.” Ameera was kneeling beside Liam and holding onto Zayn’s wrist. “He has a pulse but I can’t tell if he’s breathing. He needs CPR.”

 

Liam didn’t wait for anyone and started doing compressions on Zayn’s chest. He had learnt CPR many years back and at that time it never seemed so serious. Now those same skills, he needed them to save Zayn. His Zayn. His bambi eyes. He stopped and checked to see if Zayn was breathing. He wasn’t. Liam felt sick to his stomach. He had never felt this type of fear in his life.

 

“Zayn please… please baby please.” Liam whispered feeling tears sting his eyes as he continued the compressions.

 

Liam then pinched Zayn’s nose and tilted open his mouth to breathe into it. Then compressions. Then breaths. Liam was in a haze and he was aware of nothing and nobody as he alternated between breathing into Zayn’s mouth and doing compressions like he was taught. He felt a tight grip on his shoulder.

 

“Maybe we should call an ambulance or maybe-“ Ameera was saying in a shaky voice.

 

“He needs to wake up!” Liam yelled and continued the CPR.

 

Harry was sitting by Zayn’s side and cradling his hand and holding it to his chest as he cried. Liam knew he was hyperventilating himself and that he needed to be calm in order to do the CPR properly for Zayn. Liam took a deep breath and went in once again to breathe into Zayn’s mouth. He did another compression on Zayn’s chest. Maybe it was the silent prayers Liam was doing to the universe, or the God he didn’t really believe in, or the way his heart was ready to rip out of its chest and into Zayn’s and give him life, but a miracle happened and Zayn’s body flinched and he started coughing rapidly.

 

“Zayn!” Liam choked out in relief, feeling relief wash over him in thick tides.

 

Zayn was coughing manically and Liam helped him sit up and cradled Zayn to his chest as the boy coughed out some water and shook so severely like his body was out of control. Zayn’s eyes opened and he looked around in panic and hen clutched at Liam in fear.

 

“Li- Liam.” Zayn coughed and tears started streaming down his face.

 

“Take it easy baby,” Liam said and gently rubbed Zayn’s back and kissed his head. He was vaguely aware of someone draping a blanket around Zayn’s shaking body.

 

Zayn started crying harder and shaking even more rapidly and Liam looked at him in fear as he gently rubbed Zayn’s back.

 

“Is he okay?” Ameera asked.

 

“He’s having a panic attack.” Harry came forward and grabbed Zayn’s hands and squeezed them. “Breathe ZayZay.”

 

“I felt into- I fell into the water. I almost… I didn’t… I almost died.” Zayn cried hysterically his body convulsing and his eyes wide in panic as he shook and held more tightly to Liam.

 

Liam held on to Zayn securely and pressed desperate kisses to his wet hair. “You’re safe baby you’re safe. I’ve got you.”

 

Zayn went pale as his breathing became more uneven and he was suddenly gasping for air. Harry tried to talk him down in soothing words but Zayn shook his head deliriously and clutched at his chest with thick tears clumping his already wet eyelashes. He looked so small and afraid that Liam felt his heart lurch.

 

“I- I’m so sorry Zayn I didn’t know…” Liam snapped around and saw Luke looking at them with apologetic eyes.

 

“You’re sorry?” Liam hissed angrily.

 

“Liam-“ Niall said warningly as he gripped Liam’s shoulder.

 

Liam calmly helped Zayn settle against Harry who was talking Zayn down from his panic attack with the help of Ameera who rubbed Zayn’s back soothingly. Liam then turned around feeling the rage he didn’t have a chance to feel earlier rip through his body.

 

“You’re fucking sorry Luke? He almost died!!!” Liam yelled and walked right up to Luke who looked scared and devastated. Liam knew his anger wasn’t justified because Luke hadn’t done it intentionally and he didn’t even know Zayn couldn’t swim, but he couldn’t think clearly with Zayn crying and panicking in front of his eyes like that.

 

“Liam I- I didn’t know he couldn’t swim…” Luke started.

 

“Well maybe you shouldn’t go around throwing people into the fucking ocean Luke! If anything had happened to him I would have never, _never_ forgiven you!” Liam spat out venomously. Luke was looking at him terrified and no one else was speaking.

 

“Li- Liam,” a weak voice called out. Liam turned around to see Zayn looking at him with wide and terrified eyes still shaking in Harry’s arms but relatively more calm.

 

Liam turned around and sank down beside Zayn again. He opened his arms and Zayn let out a small whimper and moved forward shakily into Liam’s arms. He slumped into Liam’s arms and hid his face in his chest and cried silently. Liam closed his eyes feeling his heart ache for Zayn and the fear the boy was feeling. He just wanted to take it all away. Liam pressed a lingering kiss to Zayn’s temple then stood up with him in his arms.

 

“I need to get Zayn into dry clothes.” Liam announced then walked towards the house without looking back. Zayn was limp in his arms sniffling occasionally and still shaking, feeling the after effects of his massive panic attack.

 

Liam walked through the house till he got to one of the bedrooms in the house (which was technically his room for whenever he did occasionally visit his parents). Liam set Zayn down gently into a sitting position on the bed then walked over to the closet and pulled out a few towels. He stripped off his own soaking shirt then walked over to Zayn and knelt on the ground in front of him. Zayn was trembling and had his arms wrapped around his stomach. His wet clothes were clinging to his body and his eyes were trained downwards. Liam took Zayn’s cold hands and brought them to his own lips. He pressed one then two then three kisses to Zayn’s knuckles.

 

“Baby…” Liam murmured gently. Zayn looked up then, his doe-eyes filled with tears. His lip trembled and a helpless cry fell from his lips. Liam felt his heart shatter and he hugged Zayn to his chest tightly.

 

“I’ve got you baby. You’re safe now. You’re with me. I won’t let anything happen to you sweetheart. I promise,” Liam said soothingly and carded his fingers through Zayn’s wet and sand filled hair.

 

“I- I was so scared. So scared… one second I’m standing there and then- and then I’m falling. I felt the water hit me. And then… and then I just felt fear. I was so scared Liam. So scared.” Zayn hiccupped while crying into Liam’s shoulder.

 

“I know baby I know. But you’re okay now. I’m so sorry Luke did that. But you’re okay now Zayn. Just breathe,” Liam said in a gentle tone. He moved back and cupped Zayn’s face to press light kisses across it.

 

Zayn sniffled and closed his eyes nodding. Liam kissed up the tear tracks on Zayn’s face and then kissed his damp eyelids. Liam pressed a soft kiss to Zayn’s lips then moved back.

 

“I need to get you out of the wet clothes sweetheart,” Liam said softly. Zayn nodded and Liam drew off Zayn’s wet shirt then he pulled Zayn’s jeans off too which proved more difficult because they were sagging with the weight of the water. Liam left Zayn in his boxers for now and dried him off with the towel. He dried Zayn’s hair too getting most of the sand out. Then he left Zayn, who whimpered helplessly but Liam pressed a reassuring kiss to his forehead, and grabbed some clothes from the closet. Liam went back to Zayn and helped him into the clothes, giving him dry boxers too. Once Zayn was in dry clothes, Liam grabbed the duvet from the bed and wrapped it around him and pushed Zayn gently to lie down. While Zayn curled into the covers Liam took a few seconds to change into dry clothes himself then he went back over to Zayn and slipped under the covers as well. Liam wrapped Zayn into his arms and the boy buried himself into Liam.

 

“Are you okay?” Liam asked softly while kissing Zayn’s forehead.

 

“I don’t know. Will you just hold me?” Zayn asked, his voice still shaking.

 

“Of course baby. I’m not about to let you go for a long time. I was so terrified. You- you just disappeared into the water,” Liam whispered and squeezed Zayn closer.

 

“I’m sorry I- I probably shouldn’t have been so close to the water—“ Zayn started but Liam squeezed him tighter.

 

“Why are you apologizing Zayn? You didn’t ask to be thrown into the water. Luke acted like a fucking idiot and if anything would have happened to you I swear to God-“ Liam felt anger bubbling inside him again and he pulled Zayn even closer and kissed him softly. Zayn melted into Liam’s touch and wrapped his body around Liam, clinging tightly. Liam could tell Zayn was still scared and coming down from his panic attack and holding on to Liam made him feel safer. So he continued to hold Zayn and whisper soothing words to him while rubbing his back gently. Zayn was slowly being lulled into a sleep when there was a hesitant knock on the door. Liam thought of ignoring it but Zayn blinked up at him curiously and Liam realized they had left everyone else concerned outside.

 

“Come in,” Liam called out. The door opened slowly and Ameera poked her head in.

 

“Ok to come in?” She asked softly. Liam nodded and she opened the door fully and walked in followed by Harry and Niall.

 

“ZayZay,” Harry said worriedly with wide eyes. Zayn peeked over the edge of the duvet that was covering most of his body and face where he was buried in Liam’s arms.

 

“Haz,” Zayn croaked out. Harry took that as a signal to come over. He clambered onto the bed on the other side of Zayn. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Zayn’s head.

 

“You okay babe?” Harry asked while petting Zayn’s hair. Zayn just nodded instead of answering and Liam kissed his forehead.

 

“Drink this Zayn,” Ameera said handing over a steaming mug of something. “It’s tea and don’t worry there’s no caffeine. It’s just chamomile. Harry told me.”

 

“Thank you,” Zayn said in a low voice and wrangled his body out of the duvet to sit up. Liam sat up too leaning back against the headboard and pulled Zayn back against his chest. Zayn leaned back fully in Liam’s arms and sipped his tea slowly.

 

“Do you feel better now Zayn?” Niall asked hesitantly. Zayn nodded and stared down at his mug.

 

“Don’t ever scare me like that again Zayn. If you had died I would have killed you. And then your mom would have killed you,” Harry said and squeezed Zayn’s hand.

 

“I’m sorry,” Zayn said.

 

“Stop apologizing Zayn,” Liam said gently and kissed along the side of his face.

 

“Is everyone else still um, out there? I guess the party is ruined.” Zayn picked listlessly at a loose thread in the white duvet.

 

“It’s fine Zayn. No one cares. Everyone is asking if you’re okay. Parties come and go but your health is more important right now.” Ameera patted Zayn’s knee where she sat in front of him.

 

“Luke wants to apologize,” Niall said while shooting a cautious look towards Liam.

 

“It’s- it’s okay he didn’t know… he doesn’t have to…” Zayn’s voice was sounding anxious and Liam rubbed a hand along his side where that part was still hidden under the duvet to calm him. Zayn seemed to calm down a little and leaned more back into Liam.

 

“He can do that later,” Liam said sternly.

 

“Li… you know it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t know Zayn couldn’t swim. He’s losing his mind thinking you hate him,” Niall said.

 

“I don’t hate him. But I was pretty close out there. He did something pretty fucking stupid. If anything did happen to Zayn I would have never forgiven him,” Liam said.

 

“Liam,” Zayn’s voice was so small Liam had to look down to be sure he was really speaking. Zayn was looking up at him with such wide and hesitant eyes Liam felt his heart do a tumble. He couldn’t stop himself from pressing a chaste kiss to Zayn’s lips.

 

“That much was evident. You lost your shit out there. You had one of your Hulk moments and everyone was terrified,” Ameera said in a light tone. Liam glared at her because he could feel Zayn’s curious gaze and _that_ was not something he wanted to get into. It was a messy conversation and brought up darker moments of his life he didn’t want to dwell on. Zayn was just too… good. His entire aura was pure and Liam wasn’t about to get into the more complex parts of his life.

 

“Maybe you guys should let Zayn sleep. He had a panic attack and those can be pretty draining,” Liam gave Ameera a pointed glare.

 

“We’ll go. The cold water and wind might not have helped your situation and you should take some cold meds Zayn if you feel anything start up,” Niall said as he got up from the edge of the bed.

 

“Ok.” Zayn gave him a small smile. “Could you um... could you tell Luke I’m not mad. I know it’s not his fault. How was he supposed to know I couldn’t swim? What kind of an idiot comes to hang out at the beach and can’t swim?” Zayn laughed self-deprecatingly.

 

“Baby,” Liam chastised and kissed Zayn’s head.

 

“Don’t put yourself down peanut. You not knowing how to swim isn’t dumb. We all don’t know how to do some sort of shit. I don’t know how to cook. Not even boiling an egg. Ameera here can’t drive. She crashed the car while trying to get her permit,” Niall said and Ameera smacked him with a frown which made Niall laugh. “What I’m saying is we all lack some sort of basic skills that are deemed necessary by society but we just can’t do it. Simple as that. And shit happens sometimes for sure. But it’s not the end of the world.”

 

Zayn smiled gratefully at Niall and Liam gave Niall a small smile too, thankful that his best friend was able to talk sensibly sometimes.

 

“Get some rest. I think mostly everyone plans on leaving anyways. We’ll be here for a bit,” Ameera said.

 

“Thanks guys,” Liam said and Niall and Ameera ducked out of the room.

 

Harry gave Zayn’s hand one last squeeze and kissed his forehead then climbed off the bed. “Take it easy Zayn. You know how massive panic attacks like that can physically drain you and leave bad after effects. Just relax. Liam please keep him in bed for a few hours at least.”

 

“I will Harry. Don’t worry,” Liam assured the boy.

 

“Good. I’ll see you guys.” Harry walked towards the door.

 

“Bye Haz. Thank you,” Zayn said. Harry smiled and blew him a kiss then exited as well closing the door behind himself.

 

“Go to sleep baby. I’m right here,” Liam said and adjusted himself and Zayn on the bed so Zayn was wrapped in his arms, half on top of him, as they lay on the bed.

 

“Ok.” Zayn said and turned his face into Liam’s chest. Liam could feel the slow rise and fall of Zayn’s chest against his own and he thought Zayn was falling asleep when he heard a small sound.

 

“Liam?” Zayn asked hesitantly.

 

“Yeah baby?” Liam asked running his fingers through the fringe falling across Zayn’s forehead.

 

“I um… will you be mad if I tell you that I was wearing the Hublot watch you gave me when I fell in the water and it’s probably ruined now?” Zayn’s voice was shaking and he slowly held up his wrist to Liam to show him the watch. It was indeed ruined because the small hands in the watch weren’t moving at all.

 

Liam laughed gently feeling fond rush through him and squeezed Zayn tightly and kissed his cheek. “No I won’t be mad. How could I ever be mad? _You_ are the one who matters to me. Your safety matters to me. Not some stupid irreplaceable watch. I’ll buy you ten more.”  

 

“It was like ten or fifteen thousand dollars. I probably shouldn’t have even worn it to the beach. I ruined your gift,” Zayn said sounding insanely upset.

 

“Zayn,” Liam held up his own wrist and took off his own Rolex which was also ruined by the water damage. He couldn’t care less. “You see this? This Rolex is $75,000 and it’s ruined as well. But I don’t care. All I knew in that moment when you disappeared into the water was that I had to save you. _You_ baby boy are the most important thing to me. Not some stupid watches. I can buy a hundred of these but _you_ are irreplaceable. If anything would have happened to you… I don’t know what I would have done. You’ve invaded my heart and built a home bambi eyes. And I want to keep you in here and keep you safe. Never let you go. You’ve become the most important thing in my life in the matter of a few weeks. You make me feel a lot of things but one thing is clear. Nothing in this entire world matters more than your safety and happiness… and just you.”

 

“Liam…” Zayn trailed off clearly flabbergasted. He seemed to be lost in a lot of thoughts but when he finally looked up at Liam he blurted out something Liam was not expecting. “$75,000 on a watch is really fucking insane Liam. That’s like what my entire tuition will be at NYU for all four years.”

 

Liam paused and looked at Zayn. He had just given a heartfelt speech and the boy had picked that sentence to focus. Only Zayn. Only this wonderfully simple and pure human could say something like that.

 

“You’re unreal,” Liam chuckled and pressed Zayn into the bed to kiss him passionately.

 

**

 

It was much later when Zayn was sleeping soundly and Liam desperately needed some water and to use the bathroom so he gently turned Zayn off his chest and onto the bed. He tucked the duvet over him then quietly left the room. Liam used the bathroom then made his way over to the kitchen to get some water. The house was relatively quiet so he was surprised when he passed by the living room and heard some voices. Liam stopped by the entrance and looked in to see Niall, Ameera, Harry, Tom, and Luke still there.

 

“I thought everyone had left,” Liam said announcing his presence.

 

“Hey bro,” Tom said gauging his expression. “We thought we’d stay here as long as you and Zayn were here. To make sure you guys were alright.”

 

“Thank guys. But you didn’t have to. You could have gone home.” Liam leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

“How’s Zayn?” Luke asked tentatively.

 

“He’s fine,” Liam said slowly then he sighed and walked over to Luke. Liam squeezed Luke’s shoulder and patted it. “Quit freaking out Luke. Zayn’s fine now. I’m not pissed at you anymore. I know you didn’t do it on purpose.”

 

“Yeah you would have been a dead man if you had done it on purpose,” Niall teased.

 

“Thanks Horan,” Luke said in a deadpan voice. “I really am sorry Liam. I’ve been feeling like shit all day. If anything had happened to Zayn I would never have been able to look you in the eyes again. I’m really sorry and I hope Zayn knows that.”

 

“He does. In fact he keeps blaming himself but you’re fine,” Liam assured him.

 

“Liam umm, did you leave Zayn alone?” Harry asked.

 

“Yeah I just came to grab some water,” Liam said looking at Harry curiously.

 

“It’s just that when Zayn has really extreme panic attacks he doesn’t like being alone. If he wakes up in a dark room and finds himself alone again he might relapse into another panic attack,” Harry said.

 

Liam felt his heartbeat quicken wondering if Zayn must have woken up yet and panicked. “Ok thanks for letting me know Harry. You guys are welcome to crash here for the night as well or you can go home and relax. We’ll probably just stay the night and head back tomorrow. Harry did you let Zayn’s parents know?”

 

“Yeah I said we’re gonna be at my house. Luckily my mom is gone for most of the weekend so there’s no one to check up on us,” Harry replied.

 

“We’ll actually head back to the city,” Niall said standing up.

 

“You’ll be fine though?” Ameera said as she came forward to kiss Liam’s cheek.

 

“Yeah Meemz we’ll be fine. Thank you.” Liam squeezed her hand and kissed her head.

 

Ameera smiled up at Liam then turned around to start grabbing her belongings. Tom and Luke gave Liam goodbyes as well as they headed towards the front door to leave.

 

“See you Li,” Niall patted his arm and left as well.

 

“Niall and I will drop you home Harry unless if you wanted to stay?” Ameera said looking at Harry.

 

“I’ll go. Zayn and Liam probably deserve some privacy,” Harry gave a small cheeky grin and Liam ruffled his hair as he walked past him. Ameera followed Harry out as well saying her final goodbye.

 

Liam locked up the doors then grabbed two water bottles and headed back to the room he had left Zayn in. The room was still silent and dark. The curtains were pulled back so Liam could see the back deck the glass doors led onto. There was a clear view of the beach and ocean. Liam pushed open the doors to let in some fresh breeze and because the soothing sounds of the ocean waves helped him relax. He drank some of his water then set the bottles down in case Zayn needed some water in the middle of the night. Then he climbed back into the bed and gently drew Zayn’s sleep soft and warm body back into his arms.

 

Zayn made a soft sleepy sound and Liam felt his heart melt again. He pressed a kiss to Zayn’s temple and just inhaled his scent. Zayn was safe. He was alive and warm and asleep in his arms. His heart beating and his chest rising and falling against Liam. His eyelashes were fluttering against Liam’s neck and his small puffs of breath were tickling Liam’s skin. He was safe and Liam could finally breathe. He didn’t even realize the heavy effects of panic he had been carrying since seeing Zayn fall. It slowly and finally melted away and he was able to breathe again. The panic and fear had washed away and a new feeling had been left naked in their wake. Something new and sharp. Something that was growing in his heart and branching out into his entire body making him feel warm and so much more alive. Something that was whispering Zayn’s name and seeping into every corner of his body. It was the strongest but most confusing thing he had felt in his entire life. The only thing he registered was that it kept telling him to hold onto the boy in his arms, and to never let him go. To draw him into his heart and keep him there safely. Zayn. The feeling had no clear name. All Liam could attribute to it was Zayn. Zayn was running through his veins and making him feel so much and so fast. Zayn was pumping through his veins and giving him this urgency in life.

 

“Did you go somewhere?” Zayn mumbled sleepily into Liam’s chest breaking him out of his thoughts.

 

“Just to get some water,” Liam said softly while stroking Zayn’s hair.

 

“Hmmm. Liam?” Zayn asked in a thick voice.

 

“Yeah baby?” Liam said and rolled over so Zayn was fully lying on top of him. Liam drew the duvet up so it was properly covering him. Zayn hummed contentedly and snuggled further into Liam.

 

“Why did Ameera say you were acting like Hulk or something. Do you- have you- have you gotten like really angry like today before?” Zayn asked.

 

Liam paused not knowing what to say. His past and his- anger issues to put it lightly- were such a heavy conversation and he could not talk about it right now with Zayn, especially after the day he had had.

 

“Nothing really baby. We can talk about it some other day. Let’s just say I ‘Hulk out’ as Ameera says when things or the people I care about are in danger.” Liam kept his reply short knowing he would have to lay out the details of his past someday to Zayn. He wasn’t exactly looking forward to it because Zayn had such an innocent outlook on this world and on everything. He thought Liam was perfect and it would be difficult for him to grasp the darker side of Liam and his past. 

 

“Hmm. Are you going to go anywhere again?” Zayn asked yawning into Liam’s chest.

 

“No I’m gonna stay right here. I’ll be right here with you Zayn,” Liam assured him.

“ ‘kay ‘cus I want you to stay with me and hold me. Goodnight Hulk,” Zayn slurred sleepily.

Liam smiled and pressed his lips to where Zayn’s head was resting on his chest. “Goodnight my love.” Liam froze not knowing how or why he had said that word so unconsciously. 

But then Zayn sighed in his sleep and clung more tightly to him and suddenly Liam couldn’t think of a reason not to say it. The feelings called ‘Zayn’ running through his body felt wildly content with calling Zayn his love. Because maybe, just maybe, that’s what this was. Liam sighed and closed his eyes falling asleep to the sounds of Zayn breathing softly on his chest and the waves lapping outside.

 

**

 

Zayn awoke feeling a cool breeze tickling his skin. It felt so wonderful that he rolled over sighing and buried his face into the pillow. It smelt like Liam. Zayn smiled in his sleep feeling warmth rush his body as Liam’s sinfully intoxicating scent filled his senses. Even in his hazy state of sleep, Zayn thought to himself if it was possible to maybe steal a bottle of Liam’s cologne and take it home with him so he always had this scent close by. It calmed Zayn and made him feel wrapped around by Liam even if he wasn’t physically close. Zayn could picture the Tom Ford bottle on Liam’s bathroom sink back in Manhattan and wondered if he had a spare bottle here at the Hamptons house too. Zayn might just actually steal it when going home this weekend.

“What’s got you smiling in your sleep baby boy?” Zayn felt Liam’s body press along his own and cold lips pressed to his cheek. Some water drops fell onto Zayn’s face and that made him blink his eyes open.

“You’re wet.” Zayn blinked up at Liam feeling short of breath. Liam was not only wet but also shirtless and wearing only swimming shorts. His hair was wet with a few curling strands falling onto his face and he had a bright grin on his face.

“I went for a swim,” Liam said and then turned Zayn over properly and pressed their lips together. Zayn sighed into the kiss and lazily wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck. He adjusted himself on the body so their bodies could slot together more comfortably.

“How are you feeling? After yesterday’s scare and all,” Liam asked between short pecks.

“Fine.” Zayn felt his cheeks heat up unable to think straight with Liam and his God damn perfectly sculpted body pressing against his own.

“Just fine? Do you think maybe a shower and breakfast would help?” Liam asked leaning back.

 

“Ok,” Zayn said absently as he traced Liam’s bulging bicep with his fingers and eyes where it was positioned beside his body.

 

“Are you distracted?” Liam teased and flicked his nose.

 

Zayn huffed and gave Liam a small glare. “It’s not my fault my boyfriend has this ridiculous body and ridiculous arms and a ridiculous face and like… you must work out a lot,” Zayn finished off feeling dumb and felt his face flush again.

 

Liam laughed and kissed Zayn. “You sound like this Valley Girl I had a small thing with in college. Her first words to me were ‘do you like work out a lot?’ and we were literally at the gym.”

 

Zayn glared feeling a little annoyed and jealous whenever any of Liam’s past ‘affairs’ came up. “Well maybe I’m just channeling my inner Valley Girl who’s completely infatuated with her surfer dude boyfriend’s bulging muscles.”

 

“Mmm. Well in that the case.” Liam sat up and pulled Zayn into a sitting positon in his lap. Liam grinned at Zayn and switched into an impeccable slow drawl that was a perfect mimic of a ‘surfer dude’ as Zayn had said, “well maybe I could show you some day babes. Stretch you out, help you lift some weights. Work you up into a sweat. Maybe even get you hit some waves. You can feel my muscles if you want.”

 

Zayn broke out into helpless giggles and hid his face against Liam’s bare chest. “I’m beginning to think you’ve spent some years living as a surfer just getting high and surfing and picking up giggling blondes on the beach who ask you for lessons but don’t really need them and just want some hot sex.”

 

“I do want some hot sex. Not with any blonde though. But with the prettiest raven haired boy to exist across all 50 states. Maybe in the entire world.” Liam smirked and pressed Zayn back into the pillows only to start kissing across his jaw.

 

“You flatterer,” Zayn murmured but with a smile threatening to break his face in half.

 

“It’s all for you peaches,” Liam said and kissed his nose fondly.

 

“Peaches?” Zayn giggled. “Ok sexy-face.”

 

“Sweet-cheeks,” Liam grinned at him and bit his earlobe gently.

 

“Cupcake,” Zayn laughed as the pet-names grew more ridiculous.

 

Liam scrunched his nose then smiled and licked up Zayn’s face which made him squeal and squirm in Liam’s grip. “Honey-pie.”

 

“Noooo,” Zayn laughed. “Pumpkin-head.”

 

Liam suddenly paused as he gazed into Zayn’s eyes. The look in his eyes was such sharp adoration and something dangerous and far past what Zayn had seen in Liam’s eyes before that Zayn felt his breathing stop. Liam swooped down and caught Zayn’s lips in a searing kiss. When he moved back he was smiling gently at Zayn and he stroked his face.

 

“My bambi eyes,” Liam whispered and leaned down to kiss along Zayn’s neck.

 

Zayn gasped and closed his eyes losing himself in the sensual pleasure of Liam kissing and sucking on his neck. Maybe that could have excused what fell from his lips next.

 

 _“Jaan.”_ The singular word left Zayn’s lips in a soft breathless gasp. Zayn wasn’t sure of what he had said till Liam moved back and looked at him curiously.

 

“What does that mean?” Liam asked and kissed Zayn’s forehead.

 

Zayn’s eyes flew open and he felt his cheeks heat up. His throat felt dry and he just looked at Liam wide-eyed for a few seconds. He had no idea how that word had just escaped his mouth. This was like the ‘daddy’ incident except more serious. Much more fucking serious. Zayn felt a buzzing in his skin that was terrifying but exciting. The funny thing was, calling Liam ‘Jaan’ hadn’t felt wrong at all. The unconscious way it had slipped out only proved just how much he really thought that on a more deeper level. All these feelings he had for Liam that had been culminating since the first time he had even seen him and they had all been leading here. What ‘here’ was, was kind of clear to Zayn. But he was so fucking scared. Jumping into the casual sex part had taken every ounce of his confidence and energy. He had already given Liam his heart unconsciously but was he ready to accept the feelings that had been overwhelming his very being the past few weeks? The feelings he had been considering dangerous but suddenly seemed so real and present? The feelings which had made him call Liam ‘Jaan’ and realize that it was the most accurate thing?

 

“Ummm. Can we shower?” Zayn asked hoping to change the subject. He didn’t want to confront these terrifying thoughts or get into them with Liam yet.

 

“We?” Liam grinned sensing Zayn’s need to change the subject.

 

Zayn flushed a deep maroon colour. “I mean if you haven’t already showered.”

 

“Nope. Waiting to take you apart in the shower.” Liam’s voice had deepened now and Zayn gulped feeling his dick twitch. Was Liam even slightly aware of how every word he said, movement he made and even the tone of his voice was capable of bringing Zayn close to the edge? Of course he was, that smug bastard.

 

“How?” Zayn asked in a shaky voice.

 

“We’ll only find out in the shower. Maybe if you blow me, I’ll take you apart once in the shower and then out there on the deck facing the beach,” Liam teased as he kissed Zayn’s neck.

 

“Maybe I’ll bite your dick off,” Zayn giggled and tried to roll away.

 

Liam caught him and rolled on top of Zayn pinning him down. Liam pressed Zayn’s wrists to the bed and smirked at him. Zayn swallowed slowly feeling his already hard cock twitch again under Liam like this. He really knew how to drive Zayn crazy.

 

“Well if you bit it off how would I fuck you until you’re a panting, whining mess begging for me to go harder,” Liam ran his hand down Zayn’s body and cupped his fattening dick then lowered his voice a few octaves. “Harder. And faster.”

 

Liam husky voice and the way he squeezed Zayn’s dick at that word made him whimper and struggle in Liam’s grasp.

 

“I’ll blow you if you do that thing with your tongue,” Zayn whispered gazing up at Liam with wide eyes knowing he looked desperate and immensely turned on.

 

A slow smirk grazed Liam’s lips and he moved back slowly and Zayn thought he was going to get off the bed but he suddenly grabbed Zayn’s hips and flipped him over so quickly. Zayn’s face smacked into a pillow and he breathed out a laugh. His laugh was cut short when Liam drew his bottoms off in one quick motion.

 

“Why wait till the shower?” Liam asked his voice teasing and heavy with lust.

 

Zayn felt a full body flush rack him but as Liam’s tongue swept across exactly where he had wanted it Zayn couldn’t help the moans that burst out, desperate and shameless.

 

**

 

“I hate that any time I spend with you is mostly spent with me worrying about how much time we have left and if my parents might be calling me and when I have to go home.” Zayn sighed and reached forward to put his empty plate down on the coffee table.

 

Liam had made them breakfast and they had taken it outside to the deck to eat it with a clear view of the sparkling ocean. Zayn had been so wrapped up in Liam and the shower (more like fucking in the shower) that they had had which had been followed by the peaceful breakfast by the beach. He didn’t want it to end. Despite how horrendous yesterday had been, the weekend hadn’t been tainted and Zayn just didn’t want to leave Liam. Period. It was as simple as that. He just never wanted to be away from Liam but the growing fear of his parents finding out was worse and Zayn wondered how much longer he could bluff.

 

“Maybe you could tell your parents. That way you wouldn’t feel the guilt of lying.” Liam stroked Zayn’s hair and pulled him back against his chest. Zayn sighed and pulled up his legs to curl up more comfortably against Liam’s side.

 

“I want to but they - they might not understand. In fact I should-” Zayn paused and looked around slowly then at Liam. “Where’s my- my phone was in my pocket when I fell into the water yesterday. Where did it go after that?”

 

“Baby. That phone is damaged. When I changed your clothes, I put it onto the table and it’s still there but it’s dead. The water killed it,” Liam said.

 

Zayn groaned and dropped his head. “Great. My parents will kill me. That phone was my birthday gift and also an NYU acceptance gift. I feel awful. Now I’m phoneless and also my parents could possibly be calling me but I won’t know.”

 

“Sweetheart you’re going to give yourself a heart attack at the age of 18 with the way you stress so much. You’re safe and alive, that’s what’s important. Not the phone. On the way back into the city we’ll stop at the Apple Store and get you a new one. And as for your parents, Harry told them you’re staying with him so they should be fine. If they do find something out maybe take advantage of this day to live a little before you get in trouble.” Liam smiled as Zayn frowned at him.

 

“I can’t wait to be in college because then they can’t keep so many tabs on me and I can stay out as late as I want. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents to death, but independence sounds great too.” Zayn sighed. “And no, you’re not buying me a phone Liam. That would be crazy.”  
  
“Mhm. We’ll see.” Liam leaned his head back closing his eyes to soak in the sun.

 

Zayn shook his head and leaned his head against Liam and also closed his eyes. Maybe Liam was right. If inevitably he was going to get in trouble, why not enjoy the bliss while it lasted? Who knows how long his parents would ground him or lecture him when they found out who his secret boyfriend was.

 

**

 

 

It was late in the afternoon and after they had left the Hampton’s house they had driven back into the city and Liam had taken them to the mall. Zayn had protested that he didn’t want Liam buying him anything but Liam had simply told him that it was his way of apologizing for Luke’s fuck up yesterday (which made no sense to Zayn) but also because he wanted to spend time with Zayn and spoil him a little and he wouldn’t take no for an answer. They were walking through the mall with a few bags in their hands and their hands entwined between them. Liam was on the phone answering a call from his lawyer about a piece of property he was buying and Zayn was idly looking through the windows of the shops they passed by while slowly sipping on his Frappuccino. Zayn saw something in a window and abruptly halted in his tracks. Liam had also stopped when Zayn’s hand fell from his grasp.

 

Zayn passed an impressive gaze over the display of expensive paint sets in the window of a high-end art shop. He had come into this place once before but the sales associate was so intimidating that he had fled. Zayn knew he wasn’t some professional artist but it was a hobby of his and he had taken it up more frequently when he had realized it was a good coping method for anxiety. It helped relax him and de-stress. He had his sketchbooks at home full of his works but all his supplies had been cheap stuff he had bought with birthday or Eid money. His parents had gifted him some expensive supplies once but after Safaa accidentally ruined them Zayn didn’t bother getting replacements.

 

“… Alright yes. See you tomorrow.” Zayn could hear Liam finish up his phone call and come over to Zayn to wrap an arm around his waist and kiss his head.

 

“You like to draw yeah?” Liam asked.

 

“What? Yeah… I mean…. Sometimes… it’s nothing that great just some silly drawings and painting I like to do for fun or to relax,” Zayn stammered.

 

“Hmmm. Let’s go in then.” Liam grabbed Zayn’s hand to tug him inside.

 

“Liam no! The people who work here are very snooty! I came here once before,” Zayn tried to reason with him. Liam just have him an amused smile and tugged him inside.

 

The scent of paper and new paint and charcoal filled Zayn’s senses and he inhaled deeply. He gripped Liam’s hand tightly already dreading facing some uptight sales associate.

 

“Hello,” a woman emerged from behind the counter to greet them.

 

“Hello,” Liam greeted with a charming smile. The woman smiled back a little too widely.

 

“Anything I can help you with today?” She asked.

 

“Well we’re gonna browse first but probably end up buying a few things. My boyfriend here is a talented artist,” Liam said and looked at Zayn with a blinding smile.

 

“Am not,” Zayn mumbled and buried his face in Liam’s arm that he was gripping to hide his flush.

 

“That’s nice. Well you can let me know if you need help finding anything.” She smiled at Liam again then disappeared.

 

“Liam we should leave. This place is overpriced and I don’t really need anything.” Zayn felt panicked and didn’t want Liam spending any more money on him. He had already bought Zayn a few things which Zayn definitely had no need for but Liam bought anyways. Zayn had straight up said no to the new iPhone so at least that was a win. This was going over the top again.

 

“You’re cute baby. I want you to have this. Remember I wanna spoil you a little? And besides when is price an issue for me?” Liam raised an eyebrow with a small grin on his face.

 

Zayn gave Liam a small glare but Liam started looking at sketch books and Zayn followed him. To Zayn’s utter surprise Liam seemed quite knowledgeable about what worked best and picked up good quality stuff. They were the kind of things Zayn would have easily picked up himself as well. When Zayn realized Liam wasn’t letting down, he shyly started pointing out things to Liam as well whose answering grin was so bright and happy that he pinned Zayn to a shelf and kissed him breathless.

 

“What was that for?” Zayn whispered scandalized, looking around for the sales lady.

 

“I love that you’re getting more comfortable around me,” Liam murmured and kissed him sweetly.

 

Zayn flushed and pushed Liam away a little to slink off towards the paint sets. When they had way more supplies then necessary they carried them to the front and the smiling sales lady rang them up. When Zayn saw the final price his eyes almost fell from his sockets. Liam just slid over a black credit card and tugged Zayn into gentle kisses.

 

“You’re ridiculous Liam,” Zayn whispered.

 

“Only for you baby boy,” Liam said and kissed him one final time then grabbed the bags from the woman and flashed her a final smile and thank you which she returned with a blush.

 

“I think everyone you interact with wants to sleep with you. What is that?” Zayn frowned as they left the shop. He felt a small stab of jealousy whenever people checked Liam out so blatantly. And it didn’t help that Liam was born a natural charming flirt. His smiles alone made people fall all over themselves to please him. When they had been in Starbucks earlier today the barista had recognized Liam, and had started blushing and gushing about how much she and her family loved watching him play and couldn’t believe it when he retired so young. She took a picture with Liam and Zayn had felt so awkward and slightly jealous of the girl’s constant need to touch Liam. But Liam had taken Zayn’s hand and not let go which probably sent the girl a signal and she went back to her work after that. It still unnerved Zayn that Liam was a public figure and he had many fans or at least people who recognized him. But when he looked at Zayn with such a focused gaze and a soft smile, Zayn felt like he may as well melt into the floor and his insecurities disappeared.

 

“What does it matter when I only want to sleep with you?” Liam grinned and pulled Zayn into his side with an arm around his side.

 

Zayn blushed deeply and hid his smile. “I’m still trying to come to terms with that. What do I have that the others don’t?”

 

“You still don’t know do you?” Liam laughed lightly and kissed Zayn’s cheek. “Come on let’s get food and head back to my place. You don’t have to go home yet do you?”

 

“No I don’t think so. I mean my phone is dead so I don’t know if my parents are calling me and Harry hasn’t said anything meaning they haven’t checked with him either so I’m good.” Zayn gave Liam a small smile and Liam smiled back at him in that fond way he did whenever Zayn smiled at him. Zayn’s heart always raced at that look because for the life of him he couldn’t decipher it.

 

“That chicken and mushroom pizza you liked last time?” Liam asked and Zayn could tell that his own eyes lit up and Liam laughed and lifted Zayn’s hand to his mouth and kissed it.

 

“Alright,” Liam answered and slid his own sunglasses on and then turned to Zayn to slip his sunglasses down his head onto his face as well. Zayn smiled at him feeling his heart flutter. Liam paused for a second to cup his face and look at him with sparkling eyes. He shook his head then leaned down to give Zayn a sweet lingering kiss that ended in typical Liam style with a bite to Zayn’s lower lip.

 

“After we eat pizza I’m gonna fuck you so good you’ll forget your own name,” Liam murmured with a dark glint in his eyes. Zayn choked and stumbled after Liam when the man grasped Zayn’s hand to lead them out to the parking lot.

 

“L-Liam you’re so shameless can’t just say stuff like that,” Zayn stammered and hoped the masses of people around them couldn’t see his flushed cheeks.

 

“I don’t have an ounce of shame in my body baby,” Liam said with a smirk as they exited.

 

 

**

 

Liam stretched across the sofa with his arms behind his head and watched Zayn with a fond smile. The boy was sat cross legged on the ground sketching in his new sketchbook. His brow was furrowed in concentration and his lower lip was trapped between his teeth. He was naked except the briefs he had on. His hair was wild and completely fucked over after the round of sex they had on Liam’s carpet after finishing their food. Zayn had been so sweet and pliant underneath him whining when Liam would pull his hair. Liam had no idea how he lasted more than five minutes when the boy was that unbelievably sexy and so unaware all the time. Zayn’s body was covered in love bites and Liam grinned feeling a flash of possessiveness. Liam himself was only in his boxers as well and was lighting up a cigarette as he watched Zayn. His body and mind were blissed out and he realized that he could stay here all night. Just watching Zayn, holding Zayn, kissing Zayn. He was out of his mind for this boy.

 

Liam blew out smoke from his mouth then turned to look at Zayn who was watching him with a flush high on his cheeks and was biting his lips. Liam smirked slowly which made Zayn blush more.

 

“What are you thinking about?” Liam asked.

 

“Thinking of you,” Zayn said softly. “You’re very… you’re gorgeous Liam. I just. It’s hard to believe sometimes that I could be so lucky.” Zayn scribbled furiously on the sketchbook to hide the dark flush on his face.

 

Liam shook his head with a small smile. “C’mere.”

 

Zayn looked up hesitantly then gathered himself from the floor, sketchbook and all, and walked over to him. Liam patted his thigh with a grin and Zayn climbed onto Liam’s lap straddling him.

 

 

“Baby you’re so fucking beautiful it literally knocks the air out of me sometimes.” Liam ran his fingertips across Zayn’s cheekbone then down to his jaw. Zayn blushed again and gazed down at his sketchbook while his eyelashes fluttered madly against his cheekbones. Liam had realized a while ago that the image of Zayn’s eyelashes fluttering when he was overwhelmed and blushing was his most favourite thing in this world. Nothing else compared. Liam ran his fingers underneath Zayn’s eye then knocked his face up lightly. “You make me feel like the luckiest man in this world bambi eyes.”

 

“Stop,” Zayn whispered then buried his face in Liam’s neck. “I might die.”

 

Liam smiled down at the boy and kissed the top of his head inhaling the pomegranate scent of Zayn’s shampoo. Zayn sat back up in Liam’s lap and flipped to a certain page in his sketchbook and smiled shyly at Liam and pulled his pencil from behind his ear.

 

“You know what my favourite part to sketch about you is?” Zayn asked hesitantly.

 

Liam felt his heart fill with pure adoration for the boy and he stroked his knuckles across Zayn’s sharp jaw line. “You were sketching me?”

 

Zayn nodded flushing deeper and Liam couldn’t resist picking up his smaller hand to press kisses across his knuckles. “Are you aware of how fucking cute you are?” Liam asked with a grin.

 

“A little bit,” Zayn giggled and Liam flicked his nose.

 

“So, what’s that part of me you love to sketch?” Liam asked curious about what Zayn’s answer would be.

 

Zayn bit his lip then dropped his fingers onto Liam’s bare chest. He trailed his fingers through the chest hair and traced the abs with his fingers while fighting back a blush and grin. Liam smirked and waited patiently for Zayn to speak up.

 

“Your abs… are just… it makes me thing you’re a descendant of some Greek God. They’re unreal. Like… you’re so sexy and I love sketching your abs the most,” Zayn rushed out. He licked his lips and then realized he had been staring at Liam’s chest for so long and his eyes darted up. Liam couldn’t help the wide smirk on his own face.

 

“Oh really?” Liam teased.

 

“Mhm. And your eyes, your lips, your beard…” Zayn sighed. “You’re unreal.”

 

“Who’s the flatterer now huh baby?” Liam laughed and pulled Zayn down for a kiss.

 

Zayn smiled into the kiss and sighed. When he pulled away he kissed Liam’s jaw then picked up his sketchbook to start sketching again. Liam watched silently taking leisurely drags of his cigarette as Zayn concentrated on sketching Liam from where he sat in his lap.

 

“I love this song,” Zayn murmured where Majid Jordan’s ‘Something About You’ played on the sound system where Liam had put some music on at a soft volume an hour ago.

 

“Yeah? What other music do you like?” Liam asked. He felt a yearn in his heart to know everything about Zayn. The boy was so achingly shy and it had taken a while for him to break out of his shell as little as he had so far, but Liam wanted more. He wanted to know everything about Zayn.

 

Zayn turned around and lay back against Liam so his back was to Liam’s chest. He dropped his head back on Liam’s shoulder and Liam curled an arm around Zayn’s chest holding him in place. Zayn continued shading his drawing which Liam looked at and felt awed by the boy’s talent. His accuracy was impeccable. He had roughly sketched Liam sprawled across the sofa smoking and although it was mostly rough edges as Zayn neatened it up, it was still so beautiful and Zayn’s talent was obvious.

 

“A lot of different genres. I’m not picky. I have soft spots for Ariana Grande, The Weeknd, Rihanna and Lana Del Ray. They’re are all from different genres but they’re my favourites. And of course it doesn’t stop there. I love Bollywood music and Pakistani music ranging from the classical stuff my parents listen to, to the current stuff,” Zayn said softly.

 

“Good choices. I love The Weeknd too. He actually left his old management recently and we signed him on,” Liam said as he stroked Zayn’s hair.

 

“Seriously?” Zayn said shocked and spun around to look at Liam.

 

“Yeah.” Liam smiled. “I met with him a few weeks ago to finalize some details. You were still new at that time. I’m going to his concert soon once the contracts are complete. Want to come?” Liam grinned seeing the shock, disbelief and happiness in Zayn’s eyes.

 

“Yes! Oh my God!” Zayn kissed Liam excitedly. “I can totally see the perks of having a rich and famous boyfriend now.” Zayn giggled and Liam pinched his side.

 

“Are those the only perks?” Liam grinned. Zayn laughed and kissed Liam’s shoulder.

 

“Ok so, I think I know some of your likes and dislikes well enough now and I’m pretty sure your favorite artist is Drake?” Zayn asked.

 

“You do know me,” Liam grinned and stubbed out his cigarette to lay back more comfortably with Zayn. “Ok next question. What’s your all-time favourite song?”

“Oh…” Zayn slowly shut his sketchbook and put it down to turn over in Liam’s arm and lie on his chest so he could look into Liam’s eyes directly. Liam automatically started running his fingers through Zayn’s silky raven locks. “Well that’s hard because I have so many. It depends on genre too. Like are you asking about my favourite sad song, love song –”

 

“What’s your favourite love song?” Liam asked taking Zayn’s hand into his own to entwine their fingers and kiss it gently. Zayn smiled at the gesture and rested his chin on Liam’s chest.

 

“Umm… there’s so many but something that stays one of my all time favourites is an old classical Pakistani song by Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan,” Zayn started while drawing shapes on Liam’s bare chest.

 

“A legend,” Liam said. He knew who Zayn was talking about because his dad was very into international music and music in every form. And he had a phase where he listened to a lot of Sufi music and came across Nusrat Fateh Ali. Liam remembered vaguely what some of the songs sounded like and they were always so powerful.

 

“You know him?” Zayn smiled surprised and when Liam nodded he grinned wider. “I grew up listening to his music because my dad loves him so much. I love all of his pieces but there’s this song called ‘Afreen Afreen’ and the lyrics are so beautiful it’s probably one of my all time favourite love songs,” Zayn gushed, his cheeks heating up as he revealed a part of himself to Liam. Liam sensed his anxiousness and squeezed his hand.

 

“My mom tells me when that song was released my dad would sing it to her and quote lines to her. It became their thing. Even when I grew up my dad would still quote lyrics to my mom and she would smile just as widely every time. I started associating that song with love and romance from a young age. I mean the lyrics are so romantic so how couldn’t I? My dad even painted a few of his favourite lines for my mom and gave it to her as a gift.” Zayn finished off with a shy smile and pink tint in his cheeks

 

Liam was so endeared every time Zayn spoke at length about anything. He kissed his forehead gently and Zayn buried his face in Liam’s neck. Liam rubbed circles on Zayn’s back as he thought about what Zayn said. The boy was such an aching romantic and so pure-hearted. His favourite song was a classical romance ballad and he loved it so much because it was attached to his parents. Everything about Zayn’s mind and heart was so beautiful and Liam could feel himself spiralling further and further for this boy and he didn’t even mind. He wanted to take every sort of leap for Zayn.

 

“Sing it,” Liam murmured and he felt Zayn tense up. “You sang that other song so beautifully for me in Paris. I want to hear more.”

 

“I don’t… I’m not…” Zayn started off.

 

“Please baby?” Liam asked not trying to force him but hoping that Zayn would feel comfortable enough to do it. After a few beats Zayn turned around to curl up closely in Liam’s arms and clung to his hand. Liam waited silently until Zayn’s soft and silky voice staring singing the song in a low voice. His voice was shaky at first but still beautiful nonetheless. As he got more confident it became less shaky and a little louder. Liam couldn’t understand a single word but it was mesmerizing. There was no other way to put it, but he was enchanted by Zayn. When Zayn finished, Liam could tell he was holding his breath and keeping his body still.

 

“That was so fucking beautiful sweetheart. You have the voice of an angel,” Liam said and rained kisses along the side of Zayn’s face.

 

“I do not,” Zayn huffed embarrassed but Liam could feel him burning up at the compliment.

 

“You do. Honestly if you change your mind and don’t want to go to medical school anymore I have so many connections that I could get you a record deal, your voice is that beautiful.” Liam tilted Zayn’s face up to kiss him chastely.

 

“Oh my God. Liam I- wow. Thank you but I’m not that talented and even if I was, I couldn’t put myself out there like that,” Zayn sounded nervous as he looked to the side. Liam rubbed his back comfortingly and changed the topic.

 

“So what did the song mean?” Liam asked.

 

“You- you want to know?” Zayn asked sounding unsure.

 

“Yes. I do,” Liam answered.

 

Zayn paused for a second then took a breath. “Well like it’s this person who is praising the beauty of their lover while sort of saying praise to the God who made that person because they are so beautiful. The song is gender neutral in Urdu but a lot of English translations love to add the she pronoun for obvious heteronormative reasons,” Zayn sighed then smiled a little.

 

“So the translation goes like _‘it’s not possible to praise the beauty of my beloved, praise to the creator. Even if you see my beloved you would agree. Praise to the creator.’_ That’s the chorus,” Zayn gulped and took Liam’s hand to draw idle patterns on it. “Then the verse _‘I have never seen anyone so beautiful, their body is beautiful like the statues of the Ajanta caves, body is like a spell on my eyes, body is like a beautiful song, body is like a perfume, body is like mesmerizing music, body is like perfumed moonlight, body is like a blossoming garden, body is like the first rays of the sun, body is like a carved statue so eye-catching and mesmerizing. It’s like sandalwood and marble,_ ’ ” Zayn paused to look into Liam’s eyes. Liam felt so blown away by the beautiful lyrics he couldn’t respond. Trust someone like Zayn to have such a poetic song as his favourite love song.

 

“The song is really long and there’s more that comes after that but my favourite stanza is when he goes like _‘I saw their eyes and I was transfixed, they are like two cups of wine that are ablaze with fire. Are they eyes or doors of an intoxication house? Do I call them eyes or a part of my dreams? The eyes turned down like a symbol of shyness and glanced upward like a prayer. When their eyes look down after looking up it’s like a graceful style, but when they look up after looking down it’s like a punishment for me. These eyes are in which the sky and earth are captured.’_ ” Zayn finished off and took a deep breath. “Then it like, repeats the chorus… praise to the creator.”

 

 

Zayn bit his lip and looked into Liam’s eyes after finishing off the translation in a soft voice. Liam was a little stunned by how beautiful those words were- mostly because as Zayn recited them Liam couldn’t help but realize he was unconsciously relating them to Zayn. The words about the singer praising his lover’s body and eyes were so profoundly how Liam thought of Zayn sometimes that it seemed a little ironic. He already knew he was falling hard for the boy ever since yesterday’s scare, but these lyrics made him realize how much deeper it was. How _real_ it was.

 

“That was… beautiful,” Liam said still feeling a little speechless.

 

“I know right?” Zayn said softly looking a little dazed. “I uh- when I look at you, I think to myself _‘Afreen Afreen’_ because you’re so gorgeous Liam. So praise to the God who made you.”

 

Liam couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. “Every single word you just translated, is how I feel about _you._ It’s like someone wrote out the words that I think about you daily. So yeah, _Afreen_ to your beauty too.”

 

Zayn blushed fiercely and weakly slapped Liam’s chest. “You can’t use my song against me. I could pass out right here.”

 

“I’ll catch you,” Liam grinned and pulled Zayn into a long and heated kiss. Zayn whimpered into it and properly straddled Liam to kiss him back with vigour. Liam licked into Zayn’s mouth leisurely and sucked on the boy’s bottom lip knowing how it drove him crazy. Zayn’s fingers tightened on Liam’s shoulders and he made soft sounds into the kiss.

 

Zayn slowly pulled away dazed after a few minutes and took deep breaths. “Liam?”

 

“Hmm?” Liam asked absently as he ran his thumb along Zayn’s swollen and slick lips.

 

“Can we get high?” Zayn asked so calmly that Liam had to pause what he was doing and look into the boy’s eyes to see if he was kidding. But Zayn looked serious and slightly embarrassed.

 

 _“You_ want to get high?” Liam asked a little shocked.

 

“Shut up. I liked it last time when we shot-gunned. I want to do it again,” Zayn mumbled toying with his fingers.

 

Liam gripped Zayn’s chin and forced it up gently. Zayn looked anxious so Liam smiled and kissed him. “I’ve corrupted you haven’t I?” Liam teased.

 

“Only because I wanted it,” Zayn smiled back.

 

“Will you be fine though? Any anxiety right now?” Liam asked knowing they had to be super careful with things that could be triggering for Zayn.

 

“I’m fine. And we can go slow and like shot-gun,” Zayn said.

 

Liam looked at Zayn carefully for a few seconds and when he realized the boy seemed calm and confident in his decisions Liam felt more assured. He smirked a little at Zayn and keeping an arm around him to keep him steady, Liam reached over to the end table beside his sofa. He kept a small stash in a hidden drawer under there just because it was more accessible, otherwise he usually kept that stuff in his office. Liam pulled out the stuff he needed to roll a joint and a lighter as well. Zayn watched with bright eyes as Liam rolled it and lit up to take a long drag.

 

“Remember how to do this baby?” Liam asked. Zayn nodded and Liam smiled. He pressed a kiss to Zayn’s lips and brought the joint back to his own lips. “Alright peaches.”  
  
Zayn giggled at the nickname as Liam took a long drag. He then cupped Zayn’s head to pull him forward and connect their lips.

 

**

 

“I don’t really wanna go home.” Zayn pouted up at Liam.

 

They were in the elevator on their way down from Liam’s penthouse. Zayn was in Liam’s arms who was effortlessly holding him up bridal style as he leaned back against the wall of the elevator. Zayn had demanded that Liam carry him since he was ‘exhausted’ but he just wanted to spend some more time in his boyfriend’s arms and take advantage of some of his privileges. The weed had given him a nice buzz and had again made Zayn more braver than he usually was. He loved the confidence he got from it and how languid he felt. He hadn’t gotten very high knowing his anxiety could get set off but even this buzz was good enough. They had stayed on the couch shot-gunning and kissing lazily for most of the evening and after when Zayn complained of being hungry and finished off the leftover pizza, he finally realized it was high-time he went home. 

 

“I don’t want you to leave either baby but you said yourself your parents might be worried so maybe you should go home. I’ll see you at work tomorrow though,” Liam said which made Zayn sigh sadly. Liam grinned and leaned down to kiss him.

 

“It’s tragic.” Zayn muttered.

 

“So tragic,” Liam said going along with Zayn’s dramatics to amuse him.

 

“We could be having sex right now on your stupidly large king size bed but alas I must go home,” Zayn sighed again as the elevator arrived in the parking garage. Liam continued to hold Zayn and walked towards his car.

 

“Such a loss. I could have you moaning and whimpering underneath me as I open you up slowly then fuck you so good your toes curl,” Liam kept up the same teasing tone but Zayn’s breath quickened as he thought of doing that. He wanted to ask Liam to take him back up and act out those words. Zayn was still a little sore from when they had fucked on the living room carpet earlier in the evening but he could go again. He wanted to feel Liam’s thick length throbbing inside him again.

 

“But Cinderella has to get home before midnight yeah?” Liam said as he pressed the button on his remote and the lights flashed on his Aston Martin as it unlocked.

 

“I’m not Cinderella,” Zayn whined as Liam opened the passenger door and set Zayn in.

 

“Well you sure act like a demanding princess baby,” Liam chuckled then went over to the driver’s side and settled in, turning the car on.

 

“Only ‘cus I know my prince will fulfill all my wishes,” Zayn said cheekily, fluttering his lashes at Liam.

 

Liam stopped and smiled that special smile again. That far more than just fond smile. The smile that held too many deep promises. “Always.” He simply said.

 

Zayn blushed a little then pulled his legs up. “Well let’s go then before the car turns into a pumpkin.”

 

“Yes your highness,” Liam laughed and pulled out of the parking garage.

 

**

 

“Ok goodnight for sure now,” Zayn mumbled but continued to stay in Liam’s lap and hold onto him. They had pulled up near Zayn’s house fifteen minutes ago and when Liam had pulled Zayn into his lap to kiss him goodnight Zayn had felt like a bucket of cold water had been dropped on him. He had already started to miss Liam and they hadn’t even separated yet. He just continued to cling to Liam and lay his head against his chest as Liam rubbed the sliver of skin exposed above his pants and kiss his head.

 

“You said that five times already,” Liam laughed softly but there was no harsh intention behind it. He just let Zayn hold into him and Zayn could tell Liam was reluctant to let him go too.

 

“I’m sorry I’m being so clingy,” Zayn began in a small voice. “I just… all the time I spend with you doesn’t seem like it’s enough because it ends so quickly and I miss you every minute I’m not with you.

 

“I feel the same way sweetheart. You’re not being clingy. I would take you back to my place if possible you know that.” Liam tilted Zayn’s face up to kiss him.

 

Zayn could feel tears pricking his eyes stupidly and he had no idea why. His heart threatened to rip out of his chest for this man because that’s how much he felt for him. All the happiness he got from being with Liam and the sadness he felt being away from Liam was so overwhelming. It was all-consuming and Zayn wanted to drown in it.

 

“I know. I wish for that too.” Zayn sighed and moved to sit up properly. “I should go before someone from my house looks out wondering why there’s an Aston Martin parked nearby.”

 

“Alright,” Liam smiled and cupped Zayn’s face to give him a long lingering kiss and then three smaller pecks. “Sleep well baby and I’ll see you tomorrow ok?”

 

Zayn nodded and tightened his arms around Liam’s neck to hug him one last time and breathe in his scent that Zayn’s brain had become obsessed with and was conditioned to feel calmer around. Zayn felt Liam move a little and suddenly a hoodie was being draped over his shoulders.

 

“I know it comforts you.” Liam said and Zayn blushed and buried his nose in the hood of the sweater to inhale that dizzying scent that was so _Liam._ The fact that Liam had picked up on Zayn’s small obsession and habit was just another thing to make Zayn feel flustered and warm all over. God this man wasn’t real.

 

“Thank you Li.” Zayn said quietly and kissed Liam once more as Liam zipped him up.

 

“You’re welcome,” Liam said, voice soft.

 

Zayn pulled open the door and hopped out of Liam’s lap onto the sidewalk. It was warm out and clearly not hoodie weather but Zayn didn’t care and tightened it around himself to be completely wrapped in Liam.

 

“Baby wait.” Zayn turned back towards Liam hearing his voice. Liam beckoned him forward and Zayn walked back towards the open window. “You almost forgot your stuff from today.”

 

Liam handed Zayn a bag with all the art supplies and the other things Liam had bought him today. Zayn smiled and took the bag from Liam when Liam grabbed something else from the back of the car.

 

“And this is my last gift for today. Open it when I’m gone because I have a feeling you might protest but I want you to have it Zayn. I want to spoil my boyfriend so get used to it baby,” Liam said with a grin as he handed over a label-less black bag.

 

“Wha- Liam,” Zayn said as he slowly took the bag.

 

“You can burn it if you want but don’t break my heart by rejecting my gifts. I like spending money on the people I’m with. That’s just me. And you deserve to be spoiled rotten bambi eyes,” Liam said with a glint in his eyes.

 

Zayn sighed and shook his head then leaned down and kissed Liam again. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you but thank you Liam. And I treasure every single thing you give me, little or small. Just know that.”

 

“I do Zayn. I do.” Liam kissed his hand then sighed and let go. “Now for real, good night. You should go and try to sneak in as best as you can.”

 

 

Zayn grinned and started backing away. “Thank you for everything Liam. I mean everything. Goodnight.” Zayn blew Liam a kiss and the man smiled and winked before he finally drove away.

 

Zayn smiled until the car drove out of sight and he continued to smile as he walked down the sidewalk and climbed the steps towards his front door. It was about 11 p.m. at night and he suspected that most of his family was probably in bed anyways. He could easily slip into his bedroom and say that he had just gotten back from Harry’s if someone spotted him. Zayn unlocked the door and entered as quietly as he could. He toed off his shoes and was walking towards the stairs when he noticed the living room light on. Zayn stopped in front of the room like a deer in headlights as he was confronted with his parents and Doniya sitting in there. They had clearly stopped talking when they heard him enter the house because they were just watching him quietly. Zayn felt panic swoop his stomach because his sister was never here so late on weeknights especially because the kids’ bedtime was 7 p.m. And the look on his mom’s face made his palms sweat and his heart race. Oh God. What did they know?

 

“Come sit with us beta we have to talk to you about something,” Yaser said and signalled to the sofa.

 

Zayn left his bags in the hallway on a table and entered the living room cautiously. “What- what do you wanna talk about?”

 

“Zayn Javadd Malik. Do _not_ play games or lie to me today,” Tricia said in a stern tone.

 

“Wha- what did I- what did I do.” Zayn felt his stammer surface like it always did when he was truly panicked and on the verge of a full-blown panic attack.

 

“Zaynie,” Doniya started and Zayn turned to look at his elder sister who had just as much of a no-bullshit face on. “Where were you today and all of yesterday?”

 

 

“With- with Harry,” Zayn stuttered hoping his face wasn’t betraying him.

 

“Don’t lie Jaan. We know you weren’t with Harry. I went there today to see Anne and she told me you hadn’t been there all weekend and neither had you been there all those nights you said you were,” Tricia said as she looked at him with a hint of shock at her own words in her eyes because Zayn had never done anything like this before.

 

“I- I –” Zayn felt like he had slammed into a brick wall because there were no more excuses he could make that would seem realistic. Yes, there was no issue saying that he was seeing someone because his family were supportive. But the idea of _who_ he was dating wouldn’t be easy.

 

“Zayn,” Yaser started gently. His Baba was always so gentle with him and it made his heart tear apart. “Remember when you told me you were seeing someone? I think it’s time you tell us who.”

 

“It’s -  it’s no one really. Just some guy-” Zayn’s voice was shaky and his legs were about to give out.

 

“Zee stop lying,” Doniya said and turned her phone over to face him. Zayn felt confused at first then as he took Doniya’s phone he felt like he had gotten slammed by a train. It was the Instagram picture from the night at ‘Red’. The picture that Tom took and Zayn had doubted anyone would see. The “Peanut are you drunk?” picture of him in Liam’s lap had come to bite him in the ass. Fuck.

 

“You’re seeing Liam Payne?” Doniya said her voice raising a little bit. “Zee you’re smarter than that!”

 

“What?” Zayn said feeling confused, shocked and panicked all at once.

 

“Zayn. Are you or are you not dating this man who is like 9 years older than you and not to mention your boss!” Doniya exclaimed.

 

“I- I am,” Zayn whispered with his eyes on the floor.

 

“Jaan… why?” Tricia sounded so confused and Zayn felt tears spring to his eyes.

 

“Zayn honey you do realize how wrong this situation is right? You’re so young, you’re only 18 and he’s what? 27? And he’s your boss. There are so many ethical codes being violated here,” Doniya said sounding angry.

 

“Doniya calm down we’re going to have a peaceful discussion,” Yaser warned Doniya.

 

“Baba it’s so wrong! This man is using his power to manipulate Zayn into a weaker position where he can’t say no, he- are you sleeping with him Zayn?” Doniya said sounding more crazed.

 

“Doniya,” Tricia started, sounding upset.

 

“Is this man forcing you to sleep with him? That’s workplace sexual harassment.” Doniya barrelled on not listening to anyone.

 

“Stop,” Zayn whispered but no one listened.

 

“Doniya we said we would talk to him calmly. Don’t make him anxious,” Yaser warned.

 

“Baba this man used to be a football player. Amir used to keep up with him that’s how I know of him and he’s the kind of man who had a new partner every month. He uses people and discards them so quick. He’s a playboy! He clearly used his power to trick Zayn into something he doesn’t understand. These rich people are messed up in the head, they’re all sex addicts,” Doniya ranted angrily. “The fact that he’s using our Zayn… I can’t be calm.”

 

“Jaan say something. Please talk to us,” Tricia begged.

 

Zayn felt numb as he listened to Doniya go on and on. She was wrong, she was so wrong. Liam was none of the awful things she was saying he was. He was the most wonderful man Zayn knew. In this short period of time he had become the singular focus of Zayn’s life and the most important person to him. Zayn couldn’t even breathe peacefully when he was without Liam. Like right now, his chest hurt and he just felt like he couldn’t breathe. He wanted to be in the comfort of Liam’s arms again.

 

“You’re making him panicked Doniya stop it,” Yaser warned her again sternly. “Zayn you have to tell us how this situation started and what this Liam Payne person has been saying to you. Have you been at his place all these nights? Does he ask you to go there? What is his behaviour like?”

 

“Perverse behaviour! Couldn’t find someone his own age!” Doniya raised her voice again.

 

“Please stop,” Zayn said as his body started to shake.

 

“Zayn, did he threaten to fire you if you didn’t- if you didn’t date him or sleep with him?” Tricia asked, the painful awkwardness obvious in her voice.

 

“No, no he didn’t. He didn’t do anything like that,” Zayn said finally speaking up panicked. “He’s a good guy please you have to understand.”

 

“Good guy? My love you don’t even understand that you are being strung along and manipulated,” Doniya said exasperated.

 

“I’m not stupid! I’m not some three-year-old kid being manipulated by some perverted pedophile if that’s what you’re trying to imply!” Zayn yelled hysterically. “I’m 18, he’s 26 and we’re both consenting adults! He’s respectful and he cares for me, he didn’t even- he didn’t even try to kiss me until I was comfortable! Baba you believe me right?” Zayn turned to his dad with tears clouding his vision.

 

Yaser looked a little upset and clearly very confused. When he didn’t reply Zayn panicked more because if his dad wasn’t believing him then everyone else was a lost cause.

 

“Zee don’t act like I’m your enemy. I’m only concerned for you. If Amir hadn’t seen this picture we would never have found out. Zayn this isn’t a real relationship, and I know it’s your first one ever and you’re probably swept off your feet right now but you can’t just give it up to the first man who shows you attention-”

 

“That’s a really bitchy thing to say Doniya Baji,” Zayn spat angrily.

 

“Zayn!” Tricia yelled in a shocked voice. Zayn couldn’t blame her since he had never in his life shown disrespect to anyone, not even his older sister and his family looked shocked.

 

“Look at his negative effects on you Zayn. You smell like weed. You were dinking in that photo. This is not like you,” Doniya shook her head sadly.

 

“And what is that supposed to be? Huh? As long as I was quiet and lonely and just going about my life I was the perfect son but the first time I’m really happy and it’s because of Liam suddenly I’ve become someone else? Someone who disappoints you guys? Well sorry if I’m living a little and sorry if I’ve found something, someone that makes me unbelievably happy!” Zayn shouted through tears. He couldn’t believe his family. He trusted them to always be rational and be supportive but this-

 

“Beta that’s not what we mean. Your happiness means everything to us. And that’s why we want to shield you from danger and heartbreak. What Doniya is saying, this man doesn’t seem right,” Yaser explained gently.

 

“How would you guys know? You’ve never spent time with him. He’s amazing, he’s perfect he’s – he’s my everything-” Zayn covered his face as the tears leaked out. His family was silent for a bit and he didn’t know what it was that made them stop talking.

 

“You have to stop seeing him Zee,” Doniya said more calmer than before.

 

“What?! No!” Zayn shouted scared and panicked. He couldn’t stop seeing Liam, there was no way. Liam had become his entire world in these past few weeks and Zayn was positive he would shatter if he and Liam broke up.

 

“Meri Jaan…” Tricia said softly and came over and hugged him. “What your Baji is saying is correct. You need to think with a clear head Zayn. This person seems to have an effect on you-”

 

“No!” Zayn yelled furious and panicked and pulled away from his mom who looked hurt. “No Maa please believe me, he’s not like that! Doniya Baji is lying! He’s amazing Maa please I can’t -I can’t survive without him- I need him – I need him in my life. He means the world to me, he _is_ my world,” Zayn sobbed openly and begged his mom through his eyes to understand him.

 

“Maybe I should have a talk with him and tell him to stay away from Zayn or else we might need to take some measures-” Doniya started.

 

“STOP! JUST STOP!” Zayn screamed. His panic was high, his heart was racing, there was a buzzing sound in his ears and his skin felt hot and tight. He wasn’t even aware of how loud he was yelling or how scared his parents looked seeing their son so panicked.

 

“You don’t understand what he means to me! He’s not harassing me, he’s not brainwashing me and he didn’t trick me into bed! Please stop all of this!” Zayn begged while looking at Doniya specifically.

 

“Zee you’re scaring me, what even- you’ve never been like this. Darling, it’s just a crush or infatuation, you’re swayed by his charms right now but you’ll see soon enough that we were right in making you stay away from him,” Doniya tried to explain gently.

 

“It’s not a fucking crush or infatuation!” Zayn yelled.

 

“Then what is it? Because you sure as hell don’t want to talk so please Zee tell us what it is if not a crush?” Doniya asked exasperated.

 

Every tiny feeling he had for Liam that had been cultivating since he met him in that God damn library, everything since then up to now came rushing to the surface. All the fears and questions he had about his feelings for Liam suddenly became answered. All he heard was the idea of not seeing Liam again and suddenly it was all so crystal clear. Zayn’s memories of falling in the water yesterday had been foggy but suddenly they came rushing back. Before passing out in the water he had seen brown eyes- brown eyes with a glint. And he had heard _“You’re my bambi eyes”_ and then it had all gone silent. Liam had once told him that in this world of black and white, Zayn was the only colour he saw and nothing had felt more true to Zayn. This bleak, black and white world was something he had been sleep walking through for 18 years. But that warm summer day Liam had walked into the library, glowing bright and red and Zayn had finally felt alive. And when Liam had taken him into his arms and finally kissed him in the rain Zayn felt like he could finally breathe after struggling for air for most of his life. And when he made love to him and held him afterwards and whispered sweet words into Zayn’s ears, he had realized that if he even died in those moments, it would have been a life well lived because those moments spent in Liam’s arms could last him an infinite lifetime.

 

“I love him! I fucking love him! I’m in love with him,” Zayn cried out as his heart threatened to jump out of his rib cage. Zayn took a shaky breath as he realized what he had said. It was all spilling out finally. All his questions about Liam were answered and Zayn finally knew what those strong and dangerous feelings he had for the man were; but Zayn felt broken. This realization that he loved Liam made him feel broken and like we was about to collapse.

 

“What?” That was Yaser. Zayn vaguely heard his dad’s shocked voice.

 

“You love him?” Doniya asked surprised.

 

“I- I love him. I love him. I’m in love with Liam,” Zayn whispered and sank to his knees as the panic attack that had been threatening to rip through finally broke out and Zayn’s body gave out.

 

“I love him,” Zayn murmured one last time as he felt his chest squeeze painfully and oxygen didn’t seem to be going to his body at all. He couldn’t breathe and it was so ironic that the realization that he was in love with Liam was about to kill him when seconds ago he had thought that dying in Liam’s arms would be better than being without him at all. He could hear his parents shouting his name panicked but Zayn couldn’t speak. His tongue couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe and suddenly it felt like he was drowning in the ocean again. Even in the throes of a panic attack his mind just kept showing him Liam’s face, Liam’s smile, reminding him of the husky way Liam murmured ‘baby’ and as Zayn started to feel lightheaded his lips moved slowly and he whispered,

 

“I love you Liam.”

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There really weren't many urdu words to translate this time since I translated the song within the chapter and I'm sure you guys have caught on to words like Baba, beta, jaan. I really really hope you liked it and Zayn's breakdown at the end was something I've been waiting to write for a while (I love emotional stuff) although I do feel bad for my baby, shit keeps going wrong for him. And I would like to address one thing, incase people get pissed at Doniya's words/reactions just keep in mind that from her point of view she's just worried for Zayn. Her baby brother who she loves and is protective of is suddenly dating/sleeping with a man like 8-9 years older than him, and the man is a known rich playboy which is making her worried for Zayn since he wears his heart on his sleeve. Oh and I don't know much about CPR I just re-searched a little so forgive any errors I might have made. :)
> 
> So yeah, I hope you guys liked it and once again I don't have a set schedule for updating so I'm not sure when chapters will be uploaded. I try my best to write whenever I have time but I am in school full-time and working part-time plus living/travelling between two cities during the week which takes alot of time/energy. I hope you can be patient with me, I love each and every one of you and all the love and support you show me means the world. It makes me emotional.This fic is very long and we're only just getting started lol.You have no idea all the things I have planned. Thank you again <3


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So it's been a while I know but I've been crazed with alot of stuff in my life and I try my best to still be as fast as I can. That said I'm sure I will be forgiven because this chapter is 70 pages long/20k words (my longest one yet)!! It's a 'monumental' chapter as well and there is mostly just serious/emotional stuff but I have inserted some things some people consider fillers but I think it's comic relief? Anyways I hope you like this chapter!!! I love you all for all your continued support and love you show me and my fic it blows my mind!! THANK YOU!! (oh and please ignore any tiny grammatical errors you might find. I only had time to do one quick final edit where I usually try to do two since I haven't had much free time today and I wanted to get the ch out for you guys) :)) <33
> 
> P.S. as always urdu translations at end
> 
> P.P.S. TRIGGER WARNING: nothing too serious but theres mentions of past drug abuse in this chapter. Nothing too detailed, just a quick mention of a past drug abuse problem.

 

 

_“Zayn. Zayn.” A soft voice was murmuring into his ear. And a warm hand was cupping his cheek and stroking a thumb across his cheekbone._

_“Baby you have to wake up.”_

_“Why?” Zayn grumbled like a petulant child but pushed further into the warm touch._

_A soft chuckle tickled the skin below his ear. Then a light kiss was pressed to the same spot. Zayn smiled. He didn’t know if he was dreaming or if this was real but he wanted to soak it up as much as could._

_“Because we’re at your place sweetheart.”_

_“Don’ wanna wake up if I have to leave you,” Zayn murmured and clung desperately to the strong arms enveloping him. “Don’t ever wanna wake up in a world where I’ll be away from you.”_

_“You won’t be.”_

_“Can you promise that Liam?” Zayn asked in a whisper._

_“I promise,” Liam said in a gentle voice and kissed his forehead._

Only then did Zayn open his eyes as his heart filled with relief and a calmness enveloped him. Gentle fingers were carding through his hair and a different set of hands were rubbing soothing circles on his leg. Zayn blinked slowly and confusedly. Where was Liam? He looked up and saw his mom watching him with a pained and tearful expression as she stroked his hair. His head was in her lap and his legs were in Doniya’s lap who was rubbing his leg.

 

“Jaan,” Tricia said gently and leaned down to kiss his forehead. “Are you okay?”

 

Zayn nodded slowly and sat up. His body was still trembling a little bit and his stomach was rolling with some left-over nerves. But the panic attack had subsided and now he was just left completely drained and exhausted as always, but with the addition of the dread knowing what caused this panic attack.

 

“Zee,” Doniya said and squeezed his hand. “My love I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you anxious or set off your anxiety. I was just worried- I’m so sorry.” Doniya wrapped an arm around him and kissed his head. Her eyes were extremely apologetic and distressed so Zayn just nodded at her.

 

Yaser walked in then carrying a glass of water and something in his hand. Seeing Zayn sitting up he smiled carefully then came over and sat down on the coffee table in front of him. Yaser kissed his forehead then wordlessly pressed a pill into Zayn’s hand and passed him the glass of water. Zayn swallowed his anxiety medication and finished off the glass of water.

 

“How are you feeling beta?” Yaser asked while rubbing his knee.

 

“ ‘M okay now,” Zayn muttered while twisting his hands nervously. The realization of what he had blurted out in front of his family and the messy conversation before that rushed back to him. He vaguely remembered his parents talking him down from the panic attack by getting him to breathe and go to his ‘safe space’ like the counsellor had told them to do whenever Zayn had attacks. After that Zayn remembered his mom had helped him lie down while continuing to talk to Zayn soothingly. Zayn had gone into his safe space and dozed off for a few minutes. All he remembered was that previously his safe space had been a memory of him with his whole family (niece and nephew included) and Harry’s family when they had taken a camping trip and sat around the campfire singing songs and trading stories while drinking hot chocolate. But for some reason when the words ‘safe space’ were uttered this time he immediately found himself in Liam’s arms wrapped in the comfort and safety of him, waking up in his bed surrounded by his scent and warmth as the sunlight poured in. And his teasing kisses and words as he kissed up Zayn’s neck and murmured ‘good morning beautiful.’

 

Zayn felt tears spring to his eyes and he hastily wiped at his eyes then cleared his throat shakily. “Can I go to sleep?” Zayn barely whispered.

 

“Of course you can Jaan. But that was one of the biggest panic attacks you’ve had in a while. And we have to know if you’re ok,” Tricia said in a concerned tone as she pushed his hair off his forehead.

 

“I’m fine Maa,” Zayn said not wanting his mom to be worried for him. “I- I just want to sleep.”

 

“But Zayn are you OK? Like for real?” Doniya asked again.

 

“Yes. I am.” Zayn got up from the sofa on shaky legs.

 

“Beta,” Yaser took his wrist gently. “Just remember everything we said was out of concern for you. We love you so much. And if you trust Liam. We believe you. And we’ll talk about this tomorrow.”

 

Zayn nodded slowly and Yaser squeezed his hand then kissed it giving him a reassuring smile.

 

“Alright Baba. Goodnight.” Zayn walked out of the living room and up the stairs. Once he got to his bedroom he didn’t bother turning on the lights but just fell into the bed with tears clouding his vision. Zayn pressed his face into the pillow to muffle his sobs and curled up into a ball. He cried because his heart was so confused and felt so broken. He was in love with Liam. In _love_ with Liam. When did it even happen? But that question was so stupid because now that Zayn stopped and thought about it, he had been in love with the man since the day they met. Since the moment Liam had held his gaze in the coffee shop and said hazel was his favourite colour. He was so achingly in love with Liam he felt like he would choke on it and die. But Liam would probably never be in love with him. And that’s what made his heart rip to shreds. Liam wasn’t the kind of man to get his heart involved. Why would he? Zayn was a mess. A mess who had panic attacks when realizing he was in love. Liam wouldn’t want to change what they had for a fool like him.

 

“Jaan?” Zayn bit his lip hearing a soft voice at his door. He kept his face buried in the pillow even when he felt a hand stroke the nape of his neck. “Oh my baby.”

 

Zayn rubbed his eyes ridding himself of his tears as Doniya settled in beside him and hugged him tightly. Zayn closed his eyes and buried his face into her shoulder as Doniya shushed him and kissed his head.

 

“Meri jaan I’m so sorry for freaking out on you. That wasn’t my intention at all. I was just so scared for you. You know that right?” Doniya asked.

 

“I do Baji. I know you meant no harm,” Zayn whispered as Doniya played with his hair in the soothing way she knew Zayn loved. There was silence for a few minutes and Zayn was being lulled into sleep when Doniya spoke up again.

 

“Tell me about him,” Doniya whispered.

 

“What?” Zayn asked confused.

 

“Tell me about Liam. The man who’s stolen your heart,” Doniya said with a smile in her voice, although she was still being careful

 

Zayn laughed shortly but tears filled his eyes again. “He’s the most amazing man I’ve ever met.”

 

 

**

 

Zayn’s eyes opened to the sound of the television on downstairs at a low volume and the smell of something spicy and buttery. He smiled realizing his mom was making aloo parathas. He turned over in bed and rubbed his forehead feeling a dull pain residing there. His eyes were puffy as well and Zayn remembered he had been crying for most of last night before he had fallen asleep to Doniya’s soft voice after he told her all about Liam. Zayn quickly shot up in bed and looked at the digital clock on his desk. It was 7 a.m. and he had to get ready for work. Just the idea of work made his stomach roll with wave after wave of anxiety and he felt sick. Zayn had never let his anxiety be the reason for him missing any school or work but the idea of work today made him want to collapse. He was clearly still worn down from his all-consuming attack last night. Zayn remembered how his phone had been destroyed and he groaned and rubbed his face. He swung his legs off the bed and trudged downstairs.

 

Zayn walked into the living room and saw his parents sitting there having breakfast and drinking tea as they watched some re-run of a Pakistani soap they loved to watch. Zayn settled in beside his mom and rested his head on her shoulder. Tricia smiled down at him and kissed his head affectionately.

 

“Awake so early Jaan?” Tricia asked as she stroked his hair.

 

“Work,” Zayn murmured. “But I- I still don’t feel well and kind of want to call in sick.”  
  
“You should definitely call in sick Zayn. Take the day off to rest your mind. I’m sure your boss will understand,” Yaser said.

 

“Your boss is Liam right?” Tricia asked gently.

 

“He’s the CEO Maa. He’s not responsible for silly things like overlooking interns. My boss is a woman named May. Liam is her boss. Well the whole company’s. RED and Payne Corporations.” Zayn mumbled everything nervously.

 

“OK well let her know. You’re going to take today off Zayn,” Yaser said.

 

“Well can I borrow your phone? My phone uh - it fell into water.” Zayn smiled a little as his parents looked at him confused and shocked. Tricia was about to say something but Yaser just handed over his phone. “Can I get a paratha too Maa?” Zayn asked as he punched in the office number and May’s extension.

 

“Sure Jaan. And I’m gonna make biryani tonight and Doniya will bring the kids over so don’t make plans,” Tricia said as she left the room.

 

“Trying very hard to avoid plans,” Zayn mumbled as he listened to the phone ring. When May picked up Zayn told her he was sick without going into too much detail. She was sympathetic and told him to take the day off. Zayn thanked her profusely and also said a prayer of thanks in his heart grateful for how understanding she was in comparison to Duvall’s vicious behaviour. Zayn then used his dad’s phone to shoot Harry a quick explanatory text and told him to let Liam know he was sick and would be staying at home today. Zayn knew he was cowardly avoiding Liam like that but he had no ounce of strength in him to confront his realizations about Liam right now.

 

Zayn returned Yaser’s phone to him and noticed he was watching him. “Yes Baba?”

“If your phone fell in the water then whose new iPhone is in that bag?” Yaser pointed to the armchair in the corner of the room which was holding Zayn’s bags from yesterday.

 

Zayn shot up straight and glanced between his dad and the bags. “What now?”

 

“Your Maa didn’t know whose bags were in the hall outside so she peeked in them and noticed some art supplies and clothes and things but that one bag had a brand-new iPhone. And another black box.” Yaser raised an eyebrow expecting an answer.

 

Zayn stumbled across the room only stubbing his toe twice and hastily grabbed the black bag Liam had handed him at the end of the night yesterday. Zayn realized after last night’s showdown he hadn’t gotten to look at Liam’s final gift and his heart rushed with annoyance and so much – love (he knew what that singular heart clenching emotion was now) and he reached into the bag. Zayn pulled out a white box which indeed happened to be a new iPhone 7. Zayn shakily opened the box and found a matte black model with a small note on top.

 

_‘You kept refusing in the mall but my party and my friends are the reason your phone got destroyed so I had to get you a new one. Don’t be mad, I know you’re pouting baby. And I got you a new SIM card with your old number (P.S didn’t know which colour you’d prefer so I got black and gold) xx’_

 

Zayn choked out an incredulous sound and reached in to pull out a gold model. His head was swimming and he realized there was one last box. He slowly drew it out and realized it was another Hublot watch. Zayn opened it up and his mouth fell open at how beautiful it was. Definitely more expensive too. He traced a shaky finger over the inscription ‘bambi eyes’ and picked up another small note.

 

_‘You are one of a kind and your life is irreplaceable but watches are not. Told you not to be upset over that ruined watch. This one is water proof.’_

“I’ll kill him,” Zayn muttered and gripped the watch tightly.

 

“Is that- is all that from Liam?” Zayn looked up to see his dad watching him shocked.

 

“Umm,” Zayn blushed deeply as he picked up the gold iPhone. “Liam is a bit- extravagant. He spends too freely you can say.”

 

Yaser watched him silently and Zayn grew nervous again. “I know what you’re thinking Baba. And like I said last night, Liam is not like that. He’s not- he’s not giving me these things ‘cus he _excepts_ things back from me,” Zayn gulped. “He’s my boyfriend. He cares about me.”

 

“You’re a wonderful boy Zayn. People can’t help but care for you and love you. I just want you to be careful,” Yaser said gently.

 

Zayn nodded and occupied himself with inserting the SIM card into the gold iPhone as his dad switched the channel to the news. Tricia came in then with Zayn’s breakfast and he kissed her cheek in thanks and settled in between his parents to eat as Safaa came pounding the stairs that same moment.

 

 

**

 

“I can file these papers today and make our bid on the property. Our proposition is much more better than the other bidders anyways.”

 

Liam finished signing a set of papers that would officially be a bid on a piece of property he had been vying for since a few months. He had called his attorney Jeff in first thing in the morning to finish off the paperwork. The property was in Vegas and if granted the offer, Liam would be buying out an old casino that was shutting down and he would tear it down to build his own very first casino and another location of his nightclub Red. After seeing his success with Red in Manhattan and how well PC hotels were doing worldwide Liam finally decided now was the best time to carry out his dreams of adding a casino to Payne Corporations.

 

“Thanks Jeff. I don’t mind kicking up the offer a notch. I want the property. Max Freeman is making a bid too and he likes to get dirty but he knows how I play,” Liam said.

 

“The Freemans always play dirty. But they’re not as powerful. They forget their company is already doing poorly after the embezzlement scandal some years back and they shouldn’t be making so many backhanded deals,” Jeff said as he packed up all the paperwork.

 

“Stupidity was always Max’s strongest suit.” Liam rolled his eyes as he remembered his days in high school and then college where Max Freeman had always been in some sort of rivalry with him that stemmed from their father’s competing businesses years back. While the Payne’s business flourished, the Freeman’s tanked after being involved in embezzlement. In college, Max was in the rival fraternity to Liam’s and had taken it upon himself to automatically compete with Liam in everything. Starting with when he hadn’t been made the captain of the football team and Liam had. And then when Max’s part time girlfriend left him and started hooking up with Liam. After that everything they did in college was a competition just like in high school. But when Liam joined the NFL he completely forgot about Max. That is until last year when he found out Max had started working in his father’s company to try and right their dying name, but he too was involved in dirty money. And he once again started competing with Liam although they were miles apart in success. Whereas Payne Corporations had grown 30% since Liam took over from his father, Freeman’s company seemed to be barely making profits. And not to mention the whispers of shady business deals happening behind their closed doors.

 

“Alright Mr. Payne. I’ll see you soon,” Jeff said and stood up.

 

“See you,” Liam smiled at him as he walked out of his office. Stretching out in his chair, Liam picked up his phone and noticed that Zayn had still not texted him back. He was a little worried and wanted to go down to see if Zayn had arrived yet but he had a feeling Zayn was probably trying to bug him for giving him the phone and watch. Liam had a feeling Zayn would be acting pouty at Liam spending money on him again. But truth be told, Liam loved spending all his money on Zayn. The way the boy’s eyes lit up when he got something he liked was worth it. He deserved to have everything in the world and Liam would gladly spend every penny to his name for the beautiful golden-eyed boy who had captivated his heart. Nothing in his entire life had mattered as much as Zayn did to him and while it was terrifying, it also made Liam indescribably happy. There was a knock on the door and then Ameera walked in.

 

“Morning Li,” Ameera said as she set down a cup of coffee for him and a stack of papers. “Need some signatures.” She perched on the edge of his desk and picked up the remaining piece of Liam’s muffin from his breakfast this morning and popped it into her mouth. Liam gave her a judgemental look as he signed the papers.

 

“What? I’m hungry. I haven’t had time for food. Speaking of, wanna lunch together? You have no lunch meetings today,” she said looking at him expectantly.

 

“Sorry Meemz. I always have lunch with Zayn,” Liam said as he pushed the papers back over to her and sipped his coffee.

 

“Aww. How cute. Li and Zee are in love,” Ameera cooed.

 

“Really?” Liam raised an eyebrow at her. Ameera just grinned and shrugged her shoulders.

 

“You don’t see it Liam. But you are totally and completely head over heels for him. You haven’t been in love before but darling this seems a hell of a lot like it.” She patted his arm.

 

Liam glared at her but his heart skipped a beat and his mind just started doing an involuntary slideshow of Zayn’s scrunched up smiles, bright laughs, his sparkling eyes, his soft voice and the way his face looked overcome with pleasure during sex.

 

“My God. I just mention Zayn’s name and you start mentally fucking him,” Ameera groaned.

 

“Kindly fuck off Meemz,” Liam said and turned back to his MacBook to get back to work. Ameera smacked his arm when Liam’s phone pinged with a new message. He picked it up to read a quick message from Zayn.

 

From Bambi Eyes: I hope you’re not wondering where I am or why I’m not responding. I called in sick cus I woke up feeling really sick. I’ll see you tomorrow Li. I miss you xx

 

Liam’s heart automatically raced wondering what could have happened to Zayn between dropping him home last night and now that could have gotten him sick. He felt an urge to drive to Zayn’s house and see for himself if he was okay. But he knew he couldn’t because Zayn’s parents didn’t know about them. It was moments like this where his heart raged with concern at the idea of Zayn being upset that Liam realized how much his world had started revolving around Zayn. He was truly the sun in Liam’s universe.

 

“All good?” Ameera asked hesitantly.

 

“What? Yeah. Zayn’s sick he was telling me he’s not coming in,” Liam said.

 

“Poor thing. Is he still shaken up from the drowning incident?” Ameera asked.

 

“No, he’s been fine after that. Maybe his body is now deciding to give him a cold or fever,” Liam murmured although he wasn’t sure himself. He also had a feeling that Zayn could be having a bad day with anxiety and that made him want to wrap the boy in his arms and protect him from the world completely. And just let him know how much Liam cared for him and what he would do for him.

 

“Meemz,” Liam started suddenly feeling the urge to do something.

 

“Yeah?” Ameera asked from where she was organizing paperwork on Liam’s desk.

 

“I need you to find me a calligraphy artist who could finish a piece in a few hours. No matter what the price. Preferably someone familiar with doing Urdu calligraphy,” Liam said.

 

“Liam Payne. What are you about to do?” Ameera asked, surprise evident in her voice.

 

When Liam finished outlining his idea to Ameera, she was sitting there frozen with her mouth slightly agape. It was when her eyes welled up that Liam felt concerned. Ameera rarely ever cried. She was a strong person who always kept her emotions in check and seeing her eyes moist made Liam concerned.

 

“Babe you good?” Liam asked while taking her hand.

 

“You stupid dumb fucking- how- Liam.” She grabbed his face and looked him square in the eyes. “How can you say all that – do all that- but not realize you’re in love?” Ameera whispered.

 

Liam looked at her silently but his heartbeat had quickened again. _Love._ That was one word he had been battling with ever since he saw Zayn disappear into the water two days ago. Love was what he had called Zayn unconsciously when the boy had been falling asleep in his arms that same night. Love is what Liam’s heart was screaming at him, telling him that these shattering feelings for Zayn could be called nothing else. Love is what his brain and heart were battling with because while it seemed so frightening and soon, Liam wasn’t sure there was any other word for what he felt. Zayn had crept into his heart and unleashed a magnitude of emotions that Liam had never felt for anyone else before, ever. Liam couldn’t understand what was going on but he was beginning to think that maybe this heart-wrenching all-consuming want and need he felt for Zayn, was probably love.

 

“That is the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard of babe. You’ve done some extravagant stuff for your exes but you’ve never been this romantic or this- this taken,” she said.

 

“Meemz. Well talk about this later. Go take of care of what I said first.” Liam wanted Ameera to leave so she couldn’t see the panic that was taking over his body right now. He was proud of his ability to maintain neutral facial expressions and how well he could control his emotions. His mind was buzzing right now but he needed to understand it himself first before talking about it with Ameera.

 

“Alright. But were not done talking about this. You have to let your heart accept what it feels Liam. That’s your golden eyed boy miracle come to life.” She grinned as she backed away to the door.

 

“Niall?” Liam asked exasperated.

 

“Niall.” She laughed.

 

“You too should get married already. When you’re not fighting with each other you act like some creepy middle aged couple who likes to make everyone else’s business their own business,” Liam snickered.

 

“Fuck off Li,” Ameera said without any malice and left his office.

 

Liam laughed then picked up his phone where he had left Zayn’s text unanswered. As always, he smiled softly at the contact picture he had for Zayn and his heart physically ached to hold his boy in his arms and kiss him and hear his laugh and his voice. It hadn’t even been 24 hours since he last saw him but Liam missed him. Ameera was right. He was so gone for Zayn. It was probably even… love. Liam sighed and tapped out a text to Zayn.

 

To Bambi Eyes: I could take you to my place and be your doctor, if you know what I mean.

But all jokes aside baby boy I hope you’re okay. You have me worried. Get better quick so I can kiss your sweet face off. And I miss you too.

 

Liam put aside his phone aside and started going through his emails. He had one from his friend CeCe who wanted Liam to come check out a show at her burlesque bar since it had been so long since they last met. Liam smiled remembering how often he and the boys used to go there but it had been a few months since he last went. He shot off a text to Niall asking if he wanted to go in the evening. Liam’s phone pinged with another notification and he noticed it was a Snapchat message from Zayn. He opened it up and saw it was Zayn with the puppy filter, pouting at the camera, those damn doe-eyes of his making Liam’s heart twist. He had written a small message that said, ‘don’t mention sexy doctor play or kissing when I probably won’t get to see you until tomorrow.’

 

Liam chuckled and replied with a few winking emojis then he took a quick picture of himself and added a message that said, ‘I’ll be your sexy doctor and you can be my sexy nurse.’

 

He immediately got back a picture of Zayn using the crying filter and captioning it ‘you’re so unfair.’ Liam couldn’t take it anymore and called Zayn.

 

“Morning,” Zayn’s melodious voice rang out softly. He sounded a little surprised and slightly off which Liam would feel worried about, but he knew Zayn was sick.

 

“Morning baby.” Liam grinned and leaned back in his chair to gaze out the massive windows behind him overlooking the Manhattan skyline. “What’s got my boy so sick?”

 

“Just kinda unwell,” Zayn murmured. Liam could hear the television and loud laughter in the background. But then it got muffled so he figured that Zayn had walked out of the room.

 

“Sometimes I wake up really anxious. Today was bad. I- I swear I’ve never used my anxiety to call in sick before,” Zayn stuttered.

 

“Zayn that would never matter. Your anxiety is valid and anytime you’re overwhelmed it’s a legit reason to call in sick. Don’t stress yourself baby boy,” Liam assured him. “I hate that you’re feeling like this. I want to take it all away.”

 

“Thank you,” Zayn said quietly. “Thank you for the phone and watch too. I told you not to but you still went ahead and did it.”

 

“Well the watch is a replacement for the previous watch that got ruined and your phone was ruined by my careless friends so I had to get you a new one. All valid reasons.” Liam smiled.

 

“If I ever told you to stop gifting me expensive things would you actually stop?” Zayn asked with a small laugh.

 

“I mean if it really made you uncomfortable of course I would. Nothing that makes you unhappy. Bit like I said. I like spoiling people I care for and you bambi eyes, you I wanna spoil the fuck out of. Even if you burnt everything I gave you to the ground I probably would still be buying you things. And not to sound like an ass but like, money is literally not a problem,” Liam said.

 

“You sound a little bit like an ass,” Zayn giggled.

 

“Ouch,” Liam said but smiled widely hearing Zayn’s laughter float through the phone.

 

Zayn sighed. “I wish I was with you right now. I really miss you. But I’ll see you tomorrow I guess.”

 

“Of course baby. I’ll let you rest now but let me know how you’re feeling later on or I’ll be worried. I’m going to my friend’s bar tonight but if you feel a little better shoot me a text and I’ll come get you,” Liam said.

 

Zayn was silent for a few minutes and Liam wondered if he had hung up but the call was still connected. “I- it’ll probably be tomorrow. I miss you loads though.” Zayn sounded so pained that concern flooded Liam’s body.

 

“Baby are you sure you’re okay?” Liam asked worried.

 

“Yeah. I am. I’ll be fine. My niece and nephew are coming over today and they always cheer me up,” Zayn said.

 

Liam smiled at the image of Zayn patiently playing with little children and laughing his adorable crinkled smile. “Alright sweetheart. Talk to you soon yeah?”

 

“Of course. Bye Li. I- um, yeah bye.” Zayn shut the phone then and Liam stared at it for a few minutes confused out of his mind but then Rosie was calling him to tell him his next appointment was here and he had to push the thought away.

 

**

 

Greys didn’t suit Liam’s vibrant personality. He was colours. Vibrant like a rainbow. The day Zayn had met Liam and they had gone to Harry’s family’s café, Liam had described all the emotions he associated the colour red with. Zayn had started envisioning Liam as a living embodiment of the colour red. To Zayn he was desire, love, happiness, life, passion and even anger. Zayn dropped the pencil he had been sketching Liam’s outline with and picked up a red pencil. He had done a rough sketch of Liam in black and white but it seemed too dull to him. Zayn started colouring his form in with the red pencil and smiled to himself. That felt more right.

 

He had spent the entire day holed up in his room listening to music and sketching. Whenever he tried to think about and confront all the raging emotions that had exploded out of him last night he started panicking again. He tried to distract himself with television and books but it didn’t work. So he started sketching again. But of course, the only thing on his mind was Liam and his hand automatically started weaving out the lines of the man he was in love with. It was absolutely insane that he had only been away from Liam for about a day and the physical pain he felt from missing the man was agonizing. He wanted to be with Liam. He wanted Liam to hold him. But Zayn wasn’t sure if he could trust his stupid mouth to stay shut and not betray him around Liam. What if he blurted out everything like he had last night? He could lose Liam. And that- no that would be more painful than this.

 

Zayn was so engrossed in furiously scribbling across the page he hadn’t seen Safaa enter the room until she pulled his headphones out. Zayn looked up a little annoyed at the intrusion but seeing Safaa’s wide eyes he smiled automatically.

 

“Buttercup. What’s up?” Zayn pulled her up into his lap where he was sitting on his window seat.

 

“Nothing. Just missed you Bhaiya. You’re not home that often these days and I missed you,” she said with a frown on her face.

 

“I’m sorry Safoo. I really haven’t been around much have I?” Zayn asked and she shook her head. Zayn smiled and kissed her head.

 

“Who’s this?” Safaa asked curiously and pointed at the sketchbook.

 

“Oh,” Zayn felt a little taken aback. He had forgotten that despite last night’s drama not every member of his family was yet familiar with Liam. He wasn’t sure how to phrase this to Safaa but considering he had blurted out a love proclamation in front of half of his family last night, what harm could Safaa do?

 

“That’s um- that’s my boyfriend. Liam,” Zayn said softly and traced the curve of Liam’s smile on the page.

 

“So you do have a boyfriend?” Safaa asked excitedly.

 

“A little bit,” Zayn smiled and kissed the top of her head.

 

“I was right! I told Wali that but she said you’re too dumb to find a boyfriend,” Safaa said proudly.

 

“Oh did she?” Zayn rolled his eyes knowing that Waliyha obviously meant no harm and it was just her teasing Zayn like the two always did with each other.

 

“She’s just jealous,” Safaa said and patted his face. Zayn laughed and ruffled her hair.

 

“Can I see a real picture of him?” Safaa asked.

 

“Sure,” Zayn said and grabbed his phone. His old phone had more pictures of Liam but it had drowned. Zayn was just glad he had his iCloud to rely on otherwise he would be mourning some of the pictures he had taken of Liam half naked in bed (it was a guilty pleasure). Zayn scrolled through the few pictures he had saved into his new phone and opened up one of his favourite pictures. It had been a candid taken at Josh’s wedding by the photographer. Josh had emailed the picture to Liam who had forwarded it to Zayn, and of course Zayn had saved it. It was taken of them standing and talking to the bride and groom. Liam was laughing at something Josh was saying off camera but he had his arm wrapped securely around Zayn. The latter was looking up at Liam with a soft smile that reeked of adoration while clutching onto Liam’s hand. Zayn felt nauseated looking at his own expression. He had probably been in love with Liam then too and hadn’t noticed yet.

 

Safaa took his phone and gasped. “He’s so handsome. Like – like a Disney prince,” she murmured in awe. Zayn smiled as Safaa zoomed into Liam’s face and stared at him.

 

“I know baby,” Zayn sighed and rested his chin on Safaa’s shoulder as she continued to look at the picture. Safaa started scrolling forward through the camera roll looking at the few other pictures Zayn had managed to download from his iCloud. She had just stopped at a picture that wasn’t really children friendly (Liam in a pair of briefs lounging on a sex rumpled bed, smoking a cigarette) and Zayn snatched his phone back.

 

“Those are all the pictures Saf,” he said and locked his phone. She gave him a funny look and was about to speak when the door opened and Waliyha stepped in with a strange look.

 

“Baba wants you downstairs,” she said.

 

“Ok I’ll be there,” Zayn gave her a pointed look then started putting his things away.

 

“He said now. Seems like you might be in trouble,” Waliyha said but continued to stand there. “So. What’s this about a boyfriend? Is this the person you had saved as daddy in your phone?”

 

“Waliyha!” Zayn yelled and looked at Safaa pointedly.

 

“She doesn’t get the innuendo behind it Zayn. But you’re a little nasty.” She smirked at him.

 

“I saw pictures of Liam. He’s really handsome. You would be jealous Waliyha ‘cus you won’t find someone that handsome and you’ll die alone,” Safaa said with a mischievous smile and ran out of the room as Waliyha tried to grab her.

 

“What a brat. This Liam person is probably lame as fuck if he decided to go out with _you_. But yeah Baba wants you now,” Waliyha said and left the room.

 

“Bitterness gets you nowhere Wali,” Zayn yelled after her with a grin.

 

Zayn put his things away then went downstairs where he could hear a lot of noise that could only mean Doniya and the kids were over.

 

“Mamoo!” Mina started jumping up and down when Zayn walked into the living room.

 

“Minnie,” Zayn exclaimed and smothered her in kisses. He picked her up then walked over to where Doniya sat with the baby and gave Doniya a small smile and kissed Ali’s tiny forehead.

 

“Hi Zee. Better today?” Doniya asked him in a soft tone. Zayn just nodded his head with a small smile.

 

“Where’s Amir Bhai?” Zayn asked to change the subject.

 

“He’ll be here after work,” Doniya said as Zayn sat down beside her.

 

“Zayn.” Yaser walked into the living room carrying a massive package wrapped in brown paper. It was a couple feet tall and wide too. It was thin so it looked like some sort of portrait or painting maybe, but it was covered in packaging paper so Zayn couldn’t tell.

 

“What’s that Baba?” Zayn asked curious.

 

“You tell me. I came home and this had just been delivered to the front door. It just says your name on it.” Yaser balanced the package on the ground and raised an eyebrow at Zayn. Trisha had also walked in wiping her hands on a tea towel and Waliyha was collapsing down beside Doniya. Zayn could tell his whole family was looking at him for answers but he didn’t know himself.

 

“I don’t- ” Zayn said and slowly got to his feet. He truly had no clue what was in the package. Unless if this was Liam’s doing again.

 

Zayn took the edge of the package from his dad and tentatively started pulling away the paper. He ripped it with unsteady hands and let it drop to the ground. A large black frame was unveiled that had a glass front. Zayn stepped back to look at what was inside the frame. At first all his eyes registered were Urdu words. Then he started reading the words slowly because as quick as he had been to learn how to read and write it from his dad, he wasn’t flawless yet. When Zayn’s brain caught up with his lips, his eyes widened and he inhaled sharply. This… it couldn’t be.

 

“Is that… are those the lyrics to Afreen Afreen?” Yaser’s confused voice floated to Zayn’s ears from somewhere in the room.

 

The background of the canvas was pitch black. And written across it in golden ink, were the lyrics to Afreen Afreen, completely in Urdu. Zayn sank to his knees in front of the canvas and ran timid fingertips across the glass front of the painting. He was completely bewildered. This had to be Liam’s doing. But how did he- and why did he? Zayn had told him about the song last night. And Liam had clearly remembered that bit about Zayn’s dad giving his mom a painting of the lyrics and he did the same.

 

“Zayn? Who is it from?” Zayn heard his mom ask.

 

Zayn noticed a note tucked into the corner of the frame and he pulled it out with shaky hands, well aware of his family’s probing eyes. He opened the note to find Liam’s handwriting.

 

_‘You deserved to have a replica of the thing that made you believe in romance and love. I remembered how you told me about your parent’s relationship with the song and how it became your favourite love song. And since then I’ve been thinking about the meaning of the song as you explained it to me. It’s exactly what I think of you Zayn. And it reminds me of you and only you. This song may as well have been written for you. And get well soon baby.’_

“Zayn?” Zayn?” Someone was shaking his shoulder and calling his name repeatedly and when Zayn finally looked up he realized his eyes were clouded with tears and his hands were shaking.

 

“Who sent this jaan?” Trisha asked him.

 

“L-Liam,” Zayn whispered. “I- I told him yesterday how this was my favourite love song and how when Baba gave you that painting Maa it made me want love and romance like that and he – he just. He sent me this.”

 

Zayn ran shaky fingers over the frame again. His heart was pounding and he could feel a ball of nerves forming in his stomach. They were combined of aching feelings of love for Liam, complete shock, fear and nervousness.

 

“Why are you crying Zayn?” Tricia sank to the ground and pulled him into a hug. Zayn realized he had tears running down his cheeks and he wiped them away with the back of his hand. Over his mom’s shoulder he could see his whole family, even the little kids, just watching him silently. His dad looked concerned but mostly shocked. Doniya and Waliyha looked awed and Doniya was giving him a warm smile.

 

“That’s crazy,” Doniya laughed, and then more softer, “he really likes you Zayn. I know I said some things last night but after we talked- and now this. It’s obvious that Liam really does care for you. And I know you had doubts about if he felt the same way as you or not but my love this right here screams love. He has to be in love with you. And why wouldn’t he be. You’re amazing.”

 

“I don’t know I really don’t know,” Zayn sniffed into Trisha’s shoulder.

 

“Why do you keep doubting yourself Zayn?” Yaser said and settled down beside Zayn. “You said yourself Liam is a good guy and from the looks of things it seems to be true. If he can do all this just because you mentioned it was your favourite song, then he probably returns your feelings. And you’ll never know if you keep doubting yourself and pushing it away.”

 

“Are you encouraging it now Baba?” Zayn grinned and wiped his eyes.

 

“If you mean am I encouraging your happiness then yes, I am. There’s nothing more important to me than your happiness. And Liam seems to be your happiness,” Yaser said and squeezed his hand.

 

“Talk to him Zee,” Doniya said.

 

“What if he- what if he likes me but he doesn’t love me like I love him? What if I’m imagining things and it’s only me who’s being overly-attached and obsessed and he’s not. It would be too painful,” Zayn muttered while keeping his eyes down.

 

Tricia tilted his chin up. “Meri jaan this,” she waved at the painting, “seems like a bit of a love proclamation. And Zayn you’re the most wonderful boy, of course he would fall in love with you. Who wouldn’t? And nothing in this world was ever accomplished with doubts and fears. If you want something you have to fight for it. You have to make a physical effort to get it. Look at your Baba, he went through so many hurdles just to get my yes.”

 

“You liked making a fool of me.” Yaser laughed.

 

Tricia swatted him playfully. “The thing is jaan. Love isn’t easy. But when you know in your heart that you’ve met the one, everything else falls into place. You feel this contentment when you’re with the person you love and that’s the feeling you want to hold onto. But things don’t necessarily fall into place the way we want them to. It takes time and effort but when you get it, it’s so worth the wait and effort. So, is Liam worth it? All this anxiety you’re feeling, all these doubts you have, is Liam worth fighting through them to see if he wants the exact same thing?”

 

Zayn nodded slowly feeling warmth spread through his chest as he pictured Liam’s smile. “He is, he really is.”

“Then that’s all you need.” Tricia smiled and kissed his forehead.

 

“Yeah Zayn if someone is making an effort for _your_ lame ass, they must love you.” Waliyha grinned.

 

“You have to ruin every moment don’t you Wali.” Tricia gave her a stern glare and Waliyha shrugged with a smile.

 

“I- I have to go see Liam. Can I leave?” Zayn asked while standing up so quickly he felt light-headed.

 

“Now? It’s getting dark and we haven’t had dinner,” Tricia said.

 

“Please please please?” Zayn asked with wide eyes.

 

“Let him go. Stay safe Zayn and don’t be back too late,” Yaser said.

 

“Watch him not come back at all,” Waliyha snickered.

 

“Waliyha!” Tricia and Yaser both yelled exasperated.

 

“I’m gonna go,” Zayn said and threw a cushion at Waliyha’s face who squawked.

 

“And Zayn,” Yaser called out and Zayn stopped in his path to look back. “Invite Liam over for dinner. It’s time we met this boyfriend who you seem to be madly in love with.” Yaser said the last bit teasingly and Zayn blushed.

 

“First I have to talk to him Baba,” Zayn mumbled and spun around to leave.

 

“Take Harry with you!” Tricia called after him.

 

“Maa I’m 18! I don’t need the buddy system anymore!” Zayn yelled.

 

“I’ll let that happen when New York becomes safe which is unlikely. And I’m still your mom and I won’t let you go alone,” Tricia said with a serious look.

 

“Fine. I swear you desi parents will never let us grow up,” Zayn grumbled as he pulled his shoes on and pulled his phone out with his other hand.

 

“Sorry what?” Tricia asked.

 

“Nothing. I love you Maa.” Zayn pressed a kiss to her cheek and she smacked his arm fondly. He ran out of his house while calling Harry.

 

“Zay! The love of my life, the apple of my eye, the-“ Harry started as he picked up the phone.

 

“Haz. We’re going out,” Zayn interrupted as he started walking down the sidewalk. Harry only lived a block away and Zayn was sure if he got him dressed and out of his house they could get to the city in an hour or less.

 

“Where? I had exciting plans to binge watch the first 3 seasons of Gossip Girl and eat some of this- frankly very gross- vegan ice cream,” Harry yawned on the other end.

 

“No fuck that. I have to go see Liam and Maa said I can’t go alone,” Zayn said.

 

“Ooohhh late night booty call,” Harry giggled. “Are you asking me to a threesome? I won’t say no, I’ve seen Liam shirtless.”

 

“Fuck you Harry,” Zayn said rolling his eyes. “No. Liam is at some bar and I’m gonna meet him there. It’s important.”

 

“Oh is this about what we discussed this afternoon?” Harry asked more seriously now.

 

Zayn had called Harry in the afternoon and ended up spilling his guts. While his family were wonderful and supportive, they were still his family. There was only limited things he could share with them. Since childhood Zayn had never lasted a day without telling Harry whatever was on his mind and so he couldn’t hold back from telling Harry how he was in love with Liam. Harry had of course been supportive but at that time Zayn had been feeling really insecure and unsure.

 

“Yeah. I mean maybe. I don’t know. I just have to see him. He did something crazy again,” Zayn sighed.

 

“Like what? Buy you a new house? Fuck I need a rich boyfriend,” Harry groaned.

 

“No,” Zayn said as he walked up the front steps of Harry’s house and opened the door to walk straight in (it was always unlocked as the Styles family really didn’t understand how security worked). “He sent me a painting with the lyrics of Afreen Afreen in Urdu.”

 

Zayn walked straight up to Harry’s room and entered it to find the boy sprawled across his bed with his laptop in his lap.

 

“Damn.” Harry said looking at Zayn and shutting his phone.

 

“I know,” Zayn sighed and pocketed his own phone. “Now c’mon Haz throw something on. I wanna get going.”

 

“Is Liam picking you up?” Harry asked while stretching in some weird contorted positions only a person possessed by a demon could do.

 

“No. We’re gonna take the subway but I should ask him the name of the bar,” Zayn said and pulled out his phone again.

 

“Ok but Zaynie if you’re about to go make a love confession you might wanna clean up a little. Babe I say this out of love, you don’t look so cute,” Harry said while gesturing to Zayn.

 

“Wha-” Zayn whirled around and looked into Harry’s dresser mirror. True enough his eyes were still red from crying. His hair looked fucked up and was lying flat on his forehead. His t-shirt had an old bleach stain on it. How had he walked out of the house without even noticing how he looked?

 

“Here,” Harry grabbed a plain black shirt and handed it to Zayn.

 

“Thanks.” Zayn ripped off his own shirt while putting his phone to his ear as it rang. He struggled to put on the new shirt with his phone to his ear and it got stuck on his head as soon as Liam picked up.

 

“What’s up baby boy?” Liam answered, his voice full of laughter as if he had been mid-conversation and laughing with someone when he picked up his phone. Zayn could hear loud music and voices in the background indicating that Liam was still at the bar.

 

“Hey Li,” Zayn said while tugging helplessly at the shirt stuck on his head. He heard Harry laugh behind him and then hands joined his own as Harry helped him fix the shirt.

 

“Dumbass,” Harry said while kissing his cheek.

 

“How are you feeling now?” Liam asked him.

 

“Oh uh- yeah I’m fine. I um… I got the painting. Afreen Afreen lyrics… Liam you really… I don’t even,” Zayn said helplessly as the words wouldn’t come out. He was thinking a lot of things but they couldn’t come out.

 

“I wanted to do that for you,” Liam said and Zayn could picture him smiling softly.

 

“Thank you. I just. Thank you. Yeah I- I wanted to talk to you and see you so like- where are you?” Zayn asked timidly.

 

“At my friend’s bar. It’s actually a burlesque bar called CeCe’s. I’ll send Patrick to come get you,” Liam said.

 

“No that’s ok. It will take him like an hour to get here then the same back and that’s too long. I wanna see you soon. I’ll catch the subway. Harry will be with me,” Zayn said as he used some of Harry’s hair wax to fix his hair.

 

“Baby are you sure? You said you weren’t feeling too well either,” Liam said as worry seeped into his tone.

 

“I’ll be fine Li. Can you text me the address? And will they allow us in?” Zayn asked worried.

 

“I’ll send you the address and don’t worry I’ll make sure you’re let in. Get here safe baby. I’ve missed you and I kinda want to kiss you till you start blushing so pretty like you do,” Liam said in a low voice.

 

“Me too,” Zayn whispered. “See you soon.”

 

“Good to go?” Harry appeared behind Zayn all dressed in fresh clothes and his hair styled.

 

“Yeah let’s go.”

 

**

 

 

“So burlesque clubs are just a fancy name for strip clubs right?” Harry asked Zayn as they climbed out of a cab.

 

“Burlesque is a specific style of dancing. It’s not just stripping Harry. It’s art,” Zayn said.

 

“Well I’m excited. I’ve never been to one,” Harry said, practically vibrating in his golden boots.

 

“Yeah ‘cus you’re 18 Harry it’s not legal.” Zayn rolled his eyes as they walked up to the front of the bar. It was a black building that looked very classy and simple in its design except the golden ‘CeCe’ written on top.  There was surprisingly no line, and expensive cars were pulling up outside and people in just as expensive clothes were walking straight into the bar after handing their keys to a valet.

 

“What’s with the wait Zayn let’s go.” Harry tugged him up the steps to the front door of the building.

 

“Members night only boys,” the bulky security guard said.

 

“Yeah I’m Harry Styles and this is Zayn Malik. We’re with Liam Payne,” Harry said with a dismissive look at the man. The man looked down at his clipboard and then nodded and let them through.

 

“If you don’t tell Liam you love him, I will.” Harry smirked and Zayn smacked his head.

 

They walked through a lobby area that had beautiful Victorian style architecture inside like some old 19th century mansion. When they passed through another set of doors, they entered a large room that was full of voices and laughter floating around and music. Tables were spread across the room covered in people and at the front of the room was a large stage. Several burlesque dancers were doing a number on the stage, scantily clad in costumes that were like fancy lingerie but with elaborate designs. The room wasn’t obnoxiously loud like strip clubs were and people were just enjoying the show or drinking and talking. There was a bar running along one side and in front of the stage were velvet sofas curved into private booths. The room was dark oak and red velvet drapes and Zayn loved the vibe.

 

“This is so cool,” Harry whispered.

 

“Mhm. I have to find Liam,” Zayn murmured.

 

“Isn’t that him?” Harry turned his head to the bar where Liam was in fact standing. He was leaning against the bar, in conversation with some woman and Niall, and sipping from a drink in his hand. Zayn smiled when he saw Liam start laughing brightly.

 

He started towards Liam with Harry right behind him. When he reached the trio of people he hesitated a little not sure if he should invade or wait for a lull in the conversation. Luckily, Liam saw him and grinned widely.

 

“Baby you’re here,” Liam said with a smile and pulled Zayn into himself with an arm around his waist.

 

Zayn sighed feeling like every drop of stress, fear and anxiety just drained from his body. It was as if he had been struggling to pull air into his lungs since yesterday and now he could finally breathe. Zayn sunk into Liam and wrapping his arms around him, he hugged him tightly while burying his face into his chest. Liam wrapped his own arms around Zayn and pressed several kisses to his head. Liam tried to move Zayn back a little but Zayn just held on tighter unable to let Liam go just yet.

 

“Baby,” Liam said with a small laugh and gently moved Zayn back a little to tilt his face up. “Hi.” Liam smiled and kissed him once then twice then thrice.

 

Zayn smiled and blushed a little but sank into Liam’s embrace again after the kisses.

 

“Meet my bambi eyes CeCe. And Zayn this is my friend CeCe, she owns this establishment,” Liam said.

 

Zayn smiled at the woman from between Liam’s arms. She was tall and gorgeous all long limbs, dark hair and tanned skin and was grinning at them.

 

“He’s gorgeous Li.” She smiled and shook Zayn’s hand.

 

“Umm thank you.” Zayn blushed. The woman laughed and patted his arm.

 

“I have to go now but you guys enjoy the show. Bella is dancing in the next set Liam.” She smiled and walked away from them.

 

“Ooohh Bella,” Niall groaned and tossed back a drink.

 

“Who’s Bella?” Zayn asked.

 

“A dancer here. Forget that, how are you?” Liam said in a soft tone. He cupped Zayn’s face and left feather light kisses across Zayn’s face. Zayn scrunched his nose, feeling full of fond, and his face heated up.

 

“I’m fine now. Totally fine,” Zayn sighed and hugged Liam again.

 

“C’mon.” Liam took his hand and led him across the room. Occasionally they were stopped by people who wanted to say hello to Liam or make more conversation but Liam kept it short and they eventually reached the front of the room. Zayn spotted Tom and Miguel sitting in the velvet sofas in front of the stage and Liam walked them over there.

 

“Hey guys,” Tom said with a smile.

 

“Peanut! Harry!” Miguel yelled sounding a little drunk.

 

“Jesus Mig,” Liam said and fell down beside him pulling Zayn down too, half in his lap. Liam pulled a cigar from Miguel’s hands and started smoking. Zayn lifted Liam’s arm and fell into his side letting Liam’s arm fall around his shoulders.

 

“Did we miss the show?” Harry asked as he sat down beside Miguel and took his drink.

 

“No you only missed one set another dance is about to start,” Tom answered.

 

“I’ve never been to a strip club this is exciting,” Harry said while downing Miguel’s drink like it was water.

 

“It’s not stripping kid. It’s burlesque,” Niall said.

 

“Potato Patato,” Harry waved over another waiter for a drink and starting grinning at Miguel who was eyeing him.

 

Zayn felt a squeeze on his thigh and looked up to see Liam gazing down at him intently. “What’s up baby? You’re so quiet,” Liam said and rubbed his thumb across Zayn’s lip.

 

“Not much. Just glad to be with you right now.” Liam smiled at his response and kissed Zayn’s forehead. Zayn linked his fingers with Liam’s and held his hand tightly. “Thank you so much for the painting Liam. Honestly. It was so beautiful and I just- thank you. You’re so amazing babe thank you.”

 

“Look at you, calling me babe now.” Liam smirked a little and kissed Zayn gently on the lips.

 

“I can do pet names,” Zayn smiled while blushing.

 

“I know you can sweet cheeks.” Liam laughed and put down his cigar to tug Zayn into his lap completely and tilted his face up to kiss him. Zayn whimpered a little but wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck tightly and opened up his lips to let Liam slip his tongue in. When their tongues brushed, Zayn felt heat pool in his stomach. Liam’s grip on his hips tightened and the kiss deepened as Zayn groaned. Zayn had his eyes closed and all he felt was Liam’s tongue against his own, Liam’s hands on his hips, Liam’s chest against his and Liam’s cologne mixed with the scent of cigars filling up Zayn’s senses.

 

“Please don’t start dry humping. We want to enjoy the dancers,” Tom said from beside them.

 

Zayn pulled back red faced but Liam kept him in his lap. Liam smiled and kissed him once more, chastely. “Later,” Liam whispered and squeezed his hip.

 

The lights had lowered on the stage and the curtains were drawn. When the velvet curtains lifted and smooth music filled the air, a spotlight hit the stage showing five dancers poised on chairs. The one in the front lifted her face and started dancing first and the others joined her. It was all slow seductive movements while the dancers stripped away their silk dresses to reveal black corsets, garters and panties. They continued to dance across the stage and when the lead dancer looked their way she winked at Liam then turned away. Zayn felt irritation hit his body.

 

“Who is she?” Zayn asked.

 

“Bella Dubois. Liam’s short lived affair with a burlesque dancer,” Miguel announced from where he was sprawled beside them.

 

“Seriously Miguel?” Liam glared at him. Zayn felt uncomfortable with the topic of Liam’s exes again. Liam rubbed his hip and kissed him gently.

 

“Past tense Zayn. Nobody compares to you,” Liam kissed his forehead and pulled Zayn back against his chest.

 

“Who has Liam not fucked in this city?” Harry laughed.

 

“Not me.” Niall laughed.

 

“Or me,” Tom said.

 

When Miguel was silent, Zayn looked at him surprised and then at Liam with raised eyebrows. “Seriously?” Zayn asked.

 

“Once,” Liam groaned. “A drunken night like five years ago when we were partying in Berlin.”

 

“You rocked my world,” Miguel teased and Liam flipped him off.

 

Zayn cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably. Liam looked at him and frowned when he saw Zayn’s face. “Baby we talked about this yeah? Past tense and nobody matters to me but you. No one holds a candle to you. My past is all one big blur now and you are all that matters.”

 

“Ouch,” Miguel said feigning hurt.

 

“You gotta stop drinking,” Niall said and pulled Miguel’s drink away.

 

“Not to like complain, the show is wonderful, but are there any male burlesque dancers ‘cus this does nothing for me,” Harry said while waving towards the girls dancing on stage.

 

“It’s not a strip club Harry it’s not supposed to do anything for you. It’s a show that you enjoy idiot.” Zayn rolled his eyes at his best-friend.

 

“Yes but some male dancers wearing that would also be appreciated,” Harry sighed.

 

“It’s female only burlesque show Harry,” Liam laughed.

 

“Liam could put on a show for you, he’s got some serious stripper dancing skills,” Miguel chuckled.

 

“What?!” Zayn and Harry both shouted.

 

Niall and Tom started laughing and Liam shook his head at Miguel.

 

“I wouldn’t say skills,” Liam rolled his eyes.

 

“Bitch do not lie. A few years back we were in Vegas and as a dare Liam got up on stage at a strip club and did a performance that had an entire bachelorette party in tears and ready to rip their clothes off,” Miguel laughed.

 

“Barely,” Liam said.

 

“It’s true. When we were in college a friend of ours worked at a male strip club and Liam learnt from him.” Niall grinned at Liam.

 

“So you can like… dance on a pole and stuff?” Zayn asked with wide eyes. Liam grinned and cupped Zayn’s face to kiss him.

 

“Kind of,” Liam said with a smile but his eyes were glinting.

 

“Oh my God. This is brilliant.” Harry laughed and clapped his hands.

 

“How?” Liam asked raising his eyebrows.

 

“You should go up there. Should all these rich creeps a good time,” Harry smirked.

 

“Right,” Liam laughed.

 

“Do it Li!” Miguel said excited.

 

“I know you wanna see me get naked Mig, and in any other setting I would do it for you guys, but here? Really?” Liam gestured around.

 

“Afraid?” Miguel asked.

 

“Please,” Liam scoffed and started standing up. He shifted Zayn onto the sofa and kissed his head then tossed his drink back.

 

“Are you about to strip here?” Zayn squeaked out. This night was about to take a wild turn and Zayn wasn’t sure if he was mentally prepared. He had come here to see Liam and maybe talk about his feelings but Liam was about to start stripping? Fuck.

 

“Liam doesn’t back down from challenges,” Niall said. “What are you gonna do Payno?”

 

“You guys wait and watch,” Liam said. Then Liam kissed Zayn once more and disappeared.

 

The dancers from before had finished and left and the stage was empty right now. Liam was off to the side whispering something to CeCe who laughed and patted his arm. He kissed her cheek then disappeared behind the stage. Zayn wasn’t sure how Liam was about to do this but his body was buzzing with excitement and arousal. Nothing had started yet and he was already getting turned on with the image of Liam stripping and dancing.

 

“Evening everyone.” CeCe was on stage with a mic. “Before our next set, we have a solo dance performed by a close friend of mine. This isn’t something we usually do as it isn’t burlesque, but he requested to make use of my stage and I couldn’t say no. You’re all going to enjoy this.” She smiled and walked off stage.

 

Zayn waited with clammy hands, shallow breaths and a trembling body. There was sort of buzzing energy in the air but the place had mostly quieted down. Other than the few whispers here and there. Zayn could sense the others talking around him but he couldn’t keep his thoughts still enough to concentrate. The entire place had darkened down and now it was just a matter of waiting.

 

“You’re already turned on and nothing has even happened yet,” Miguel whispered into his ear.

 

“Shut up,” Zayn muttered shakily.

 

Miguel started laughing and then suddenly a spotlight hit the stage and illuminated a lone figure with his back to the crowd. Zayn sucked in a breath as he took in Liam’s back profile, the hard ripples of his muscles evident through the white dress shirt straining against his back. Liam hadn’t even changed out of his work clothes and that made it more sexier. Then, because really the universe hated Zayn, the opening beat of Ginuwine’s ‘Pony’ ripped through the room and people broke out into cheers.

 

“Oh my God,” Zayn squealed and clenched his hand so tightly he probably had nail indents in his palm. He could hear Miguel screaming ‘yes bitch’ beside him and Niall and Tom screaming ‘Payno’ on the other side but Zayn felt like he was about to die.

 

Liam was moving his body in sensuous slow circles to the opening music and running his hand down his chest towards his crotch. Zayn gulped and watched, unblinking, as his boyfriend began a strip dance on stage to a crowd of screaming people.

 

_“I’m just a bachelor, I’m looking for a partner. Someone who knows how to ride, without even falling off. Gotta be compatible, takes me to my limits, girl when I break you off, I promise that you won’t want to get off.”_

Liam was… he was clearly more than just ‘ok’ at doing this as he had claimed earlier. He was unbuttoning his shirt slowly as he mouthed along to the lyrics with a smirk on his face. His body rippled as he danced seductively and powerfully, but clearly teasing, as he unbuttoned his shirt at an extremely slow pace. When he said the ‘falling off part’ he winked directly at Zayn and swung around one of the poles on the stage and people screamed harder. Zayn could feel his dick hardening in his already tight jeans and he crossed his legs while running a shaky hand over his dry lips. When the chorus started, Liam jumped off the pole and slid down to the edge of the stage on his knees and ripped the rest of his shirt off. The boys got out of their seats, screaming along with the others but Zayn was frozen in his seat as his hand unconsciously ran down towards his own crotch that was filling up. Liam was… what the fuck was he doing to him. He was going to kill him. Zayn turned slowly towards Harry who was on his left and saw Harry watching Liam with an open mouth and wide eyes with his hand dangerously close to his lap.

 

“Harry are you touching yourself?” Zayn screeched out horrified.

 

“What? No! I mean…” Harry smiled a little ashamed then bit his lip turning back to the stage.

 

Zayn was shocked but he looked back to the stage where Liam was dancing like some fucking professional stripper as people gathered closer to the stage. Liam then jumped off the stage with a dangerous smirk on his face and the crowd parted as he walked towards the set of sofas in the front where Zayn was sitting with the boys.

 

“Oh my God,” Zayn breathed as Liam walked right up to him.

 

_“If you’re horny, let’s do it. Ride it, my pony,”_

Liam mouthed those words and started dancing right in front of Zayn with a smirk even the devil couldn’t master on his face. Zayn watched with his mouth touching the ground and his hands lying useless in his lap.

 

_“My saddle’s waiting, come and jump on it,”_

Liam placed his hands on the back of the sofa behind Zayn’s head and whispered the lyrics into his ear along with the music. He bit Zayn’s earlobe then started doing hip thrusts and swivels Zayn had only seen in Magic Mike right in front of him. Liam grabbed Zayn’s hand and ran it down his chest towards his crotch, and when Zayn squeaked Liam grinned and unbuttoned his pants as he continued to dance. As the song continued, Liam winked at Zayn and then started dancing in front of the other boys who hooted and catcalled and stuffed bills into Liam’s waist band. Harry even ran a hand down Liam’s chest and winked at him which Liam laughed at. Zayn smacked Harry’s head and the curly haired boy only stuck his tongue out.

 

When the chorus started for the last time, Liam spun back towards Zayn and this time he jumped right on top of the sofa and danced above Zayn. People were hooting and showering Liam with money as Zayn watched, completely mind-fucked, and squeezing his dick discreetly for relief because his boyfriend was acting like a fucking seasoned stripper right on top of him. Liam grabbed Zayn’s hand and pulled him up.

 

_“If you’re horny, let’s do it, ride it, my pony. My saddle’s waiting, come and jump on it.”_

Liam grinned devilishly as he sang along to the last bit of the chorus and squeezed Zayn’s ass while grinding against his front. When Liam realized Zayn was hard, he raised his eyebrows and squeezed his ass harder which made Zayn flush in embarrassment. He couldn’t tell who was around him or what the people were doing but he felt like he was about to go up in flames. As the song finished and people cheered Liam swooped in and caught Zayn’s lips in a passionate kiss. Money was raining down on them, Liam was shirtless and sweaty, his pants were still unbuttoned and the air was thick and heavy with lust that pumped through Zayn’s blood. And yeah… he was horny now. Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and jumped a little. Liam caught him easily and hoisted him up high to continue kissing him.

 

Zayn broke away panting and looked at Liam with what he knew were desperate eyes. “Fuck me now.”

 

Liam smirked and squeezed Zayn’s ass as he jumped off the sofa still carrying Zayn. He started kissing Zayn again which Zayn responded to with whimpers and he could hear the boys cat-calling them but he didn’t care. This kind of a situation would usually make Zayn want to disappear into the floor and die of embarrassment but tonight he gave zero fucks. What Liam just did was the single most sexiest thing Zayn had ever seen. And that was his _boyfriend._ He was raging with desire and he just needed Liam to fuck him.

 

“Liked what you saw?” Liam murmured as he walked them towards some back room.

 

“Yeah,” Zayn whispered and started kissing Liam’s neck tasting sweat and something vanilla underneath his lips but that just turned him on more.

 

“You’ll like this more,” Liam said and tossed Zayn onto a sofa.

 

Zayn gasped as his back hit a velvety sofa and he looked around to see that they were in some private dance room that had dimmed lights, a lot of mirrors on the walls and ceilings and just one small platform with a pole. Zayn heard a door shut and when he turned to look at Liam he suddenly felt the man pin him down and attack his mouth with kisses. Zayn moaned into the kiss and wrapped his legs around Liam and started running his hands down Liam’s muscled back. He felt Liam unbutton his pants and then suddenly he was flipped. Zayn blinked down at Liam and noticed the man had changed their positions and was now sitting on the sofa leaning back against it and Zayn was straddling him.

 

“Ride it,” Liam murmured in a deep voice with a glint in his eyes.

 

Zayn choked on air and looked at Liam who smirked and raised an eyebrow. Zayn smiled back then got up on his knees to grab his shirt and rip it off.

 

“Ok,” Zayn whispered started kissing down Liam’s chest. Liam had just blown Zayn’s mind out there with that dance. But he had also been a massive tease. Zayn would get his payback now. He would ride Liam till the man saw stars but before that he would tease him till he felt kind of like Zayn had out there.

 

**

 

 

“Do you want to eat anything?” Liam asked Zayn.

 

It was a little later that night and they had just gotten back to Liam’s place. Liam had turned the T.V on to some football game and was sprawled across the sofa in just a pair of sweats as he watched the game. Zayn was lying down with his head on Liam’s thigh and drawing in one of the sketchpads he had left at Liam’s place last time. He was once again sketching Liam because that was his favourite subject.

 

“Zayn?” Liam asked and rubbed Zayn’s temple. “Do you want food?”

 

“Maybe later.” Zayn sat up and looked at Liam more intently so he could get his jawline right.

 

“Me again?” Liam asked with a grin.

 

“Yeah,” Zayn smiled. He shut the sketchbook then and straddled Liam properly. Liam wrapped an arm around his waist to steady him but kept his eyes on the TV.

 

“Leeyum.” Zayn kissed Liam under his jaw. “I’m bored.”

 

“Still? After that evening?” Liam gave him a quick smile then looked back to the TV.

 

“Yes.” Zayn looked back at the TV and frowned. “Are you one of those boyfriends who doesn’t take their eyes off a football game and ignores their significant other?”

 

Liam laughed and squeezed Zayn’s hip then pressed light kisses along Zayn’s face. When he kissed Zayn’s neck, Zayn started giggling feeling ticklish and Liam smiled fondly and kissed his nose. “What do you want to do?”

“Mmm.” Zayn ran his hands down Liam’s chest and kissed him right over his birthmark. He was about to continue kissing down to get Liam’s attention when he had an idea. “Li can I draw on you?” Zayn asked.

 

“Hmm? Sure baby,” Liam said absently.

 

Zayn bit Liam right under his jaw and Liam swatted his ass as Zayn bent over the sofa to grab his sharpie markers off the ground.  When he sat back up Liam pulled his knees up so Zayn was still in his lap but leaning back against Liam’s drawn up legs. Zayn popped off the lid on the black sharpie then looked down at Liam’s torso. Liam’s body was, to put it simply, fucking amazing. Zayn could feel his dick stirring a little just by looking at Liam’s body. He ran his fingers along Liam’s abs and traced the edges of his Calvin Klein briefs showing from under his sweats. Zayn started drawing a heart shape right over where Liam’s literal heart was situated in his chest. The he started making small doodles over Liam’s body and wrote ‘property of Zayn’ on Liam’s lower abdomen and drew an arrow pointing down to his dick.

 

“Subtle,” Liam laughed. Zayn looked up not knowing that Liam had been watching him and blushed furiously when Liam laughed louder. Liam shook his head and curled a hand in Zayn’s hair to draw him in for a kiss. Liam deepened the kiss then moved back and cupped Zayn’s face and looked into his eyes with a serious expression. Liam kissed Zayn between his eyes and murmured ‘my baby’ then wrapped his arms around Zayn more tightly and kissed a path down his neck.

 

“No no wait. I’m not done yet.” Zayn felt breathless but he squirmed a little till Liam let up his hold and dropped back to rest against the sofa and watched Zayn with hazy eyes and a lazy smile.

 

“What’s left? Is this not enough proof that I’m all yours,” Liam chuckled and ran his fingers along the ‘property of Zayn’ written on his abdomen.

 

“Not nearly,” Zayn whispered. This was the issue. He didn’t know how to vocalize his feelings to Liam and explain to the man just how much he loved him. And how badly he wanted people to know that Liam was his and he was Liam’s.

 

“Go nuts baby,” Liam smiled and picked up his phone to start scrolling through it as Zayn continued to draw across Liam’s body and leave traces of himself. Something that could maybe show Liam how he felt because he sure as hell couldn’t begin to even form sentences to let Liam know verbally.

 

Zayn had no idea where it began but soon he was writing down lyrics from a Bollywood love song on Liam’s chest. Subconsciously he understood why. His heart was feeling these things but he wasn’t ready to tell Liam just yet since he didn’t know how. So he used the safety blanket of having his own language which Liam didn’t understand and etched those words across Liam’s body in ink. Zayn wished it was permanent so Liam could have a daily reminder of the things Zayn felt for him. Zayn sang the words to the song under his breath as he wrote them across Liam’s body.

 

 _“Sun mere humsafar kya tujhe itni bhi khabar, ke teri saansein chalti jidhar, rahoon ga bas wahin umar bhar,”_ Zayn continued to sing the song while writing the words across Liam.

 

His heart felt like it was being stabbed as he sang these words which described how he felt for Liam but Liam had no idea. And he had no idea how to tell Liam in the way that that he would understand because it seemed terrifying.

 

“What does it mean?” Liam asked gently while taking a hold of Zayn’s wrist to press a kiss to the pulse point.

 

“Ek din tumh samjho ge meri jaan,” Zayn said and smiled at Liam while feeling his heartbeat quicken.

 

Liam gave him a confused smile and Zayn shook his head then fell onto the sofa in front of Liam and dragged his arm over his own body so they were spooning. Zayn took a hold of Liam’s arm and wrote ‘Zayn’ in cursive across Liam’s wrist right on top of his pulse point.

 

 _“Muskurana bhi tujhi se seekha hai, dil lagaane ka tu hi tareeka hai, aitbaar bhi tujhi se hota hai, aon na hosh mein main kabhi, baahon mein hai teri zindagi,”_ Zayn sang as he continued to write the words up Liam’s bicep.

 

“I’ll figure it out eventually,” Liam whispered and nuzzled his head into Zayn’s neck to press a kiss there.

 

“I really hope you do Liam,” Zayn whispered. Then he turned in Liam’s arms to press his face into Liam’s chest and throw a leg over his thighs. He then hugged Liam tightly and sighed.

 

“Is there something on your mind Zayn?” Liam asked while running his fingers through Zayn’s hair in a motion that was so soothing that Zayn started to feel sleepy.

 

“Not really. But I like hearing you talk so keep talking,” Zayn murmured.

 

“Talking on command? Seems like a lot of pressure,” Liam teased and Zayn huffed.

 

“Tell me about stuff. Tell me like… do you miss football?” Zayn asked randomly. He truly just wanted to hear Liam continue to talk so that something could drown out the noise of his heart that was screaming ‘I love you’ at Liam and threating to break free and expose all his secrets.

 

“Hmm. Sometimes. I miss the rush of game day and feeling the adrenaline I felt while playing out there in front of people. Football was what I grew up loving through high school and college. I was good at it. But business is my new love and I love it too. I love what I do. I love creating these places people can go to and I also love managing through RED. Knock on wood, I love my life. So, while I do sometimes miss football, I have no regrets. I’m more controlled and happier doing this. I did go through some dark periods while playing football.” Liam said the last bit cautiously and Zayn frowned wondering what Liam could have gone through.

 

“Is that the dark stuff you mentioned over the weekend? The ‘Hulking out’ thing?” Zayn looked up at Liam and he had a strange expression on his face. He looked down at Zayn and quickly kissed him but also nodded his head.

 

“There’s some heavy stuff in my past that I don’t exactly know how to explain to you because I buried it far far away. Only a few people in my life know I went through that. I want to tell you Zayn but I also think you would look at me differently. You’re just so pure and wonderful,” Liam dropped a kiss to the crown of his head and Zayn shook his head.

 

“I can handle it Liam. You can tell me anything. I lo- I’m strong enough to handle anything,” Zayn said covering up his almost slip-up.

 

“I don’t doubt that that all,” Liam kissed his forehead then pressed their foreheads together and was silent for a few minutes then he spoke up. “To give you a general idea… I had bad anger management issues throughout most of my youth and into my college days and into the early days of being in the NFL. I used to get into a lot of fights and when I didn’t know how to properly channel a lot of that, rage you can say, someone I knew in NYU convinced me to join this knock-off fight club type place. It was very illegal and discreet, basically a way for people with anger issues like me to come to and fight to let out all those emotions. There weren’t many rules so it was quite unsafe.”

 

“Wow,” Zayn breathed out feeling shocked.

 

“Yeah. Anyways without horrifying you with all the details of that place. I was also doing drugs, the heavy stuff like coke. Especially when fame first hit it was just there and available and I did it. It felt good at first but then you realize how much it’s fucking up your life. For someone with issues with anger, drugs were not a good addition,” Liam sighed as he looked somewhere far across the room.

 

“Did it ever reach the press or tabloids?” Zayn asked because he truly had no idea. Despite how much fame Liam had, Zayn had never known about him before he walked into that library.

 

“No. The fight club stuff was so underground and hidden that no one knew about it till I told Niall myself. And the drugs, well my management covered that up. But then I started getting clean. My dad had a heart attack which was also a wakeup call. I realized I didn’t want to be around the stress of the game and all that extra tabloid attention while I had anger issues and drugs to deal with. So I retired and then I went to rehab for a bit and ever since I got out I haven’t touched any of that hard stuff and I’ve now got boxing to help me channel my emotions properly. Then I was ready to take over PC and after that I started Red.”  Liam finished off quietly.

 

“Wow. I- I had no idea Liam,” Zayn whispered and looked up at Liam. The man looked down at him and smiled gently. He kissed Zayn’s temple and squeezed him.

 

“I’m glad I told you. You’re a part of my life and I trust you,” Liam said.

 

“Thank you for trusting me. I would never break your trust. I’d rather die,” Zayn said in a small voice.

 

“Don’t say that,” Liam said with a frown. “Why would you say that Zayn?”

 

“I just. It’s true,” Zayn said slowly and hid his face in Liam’s chest.

 

“I would never let that happen. I would never, on my life, let anything happen to you. Ever.” Liam said firmly.

 

Zayn nodded while blinking back tears as he started to feel overwhelmed again. “Is that why you got so angry that time Damian grabbed me at the office, or when I fell into the water. Your anger issues?”

 

“Mhm. I can control them well but when things like that happen, when people I care about are in harm’s way I lose my cool. That’s why Ameera calls it ‘Hulking out,’” Liam chuckled.

 

“My Hulk,” Zayn smiled and wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck to kiss him.

 

Liam smiled and wrapped his arms around Zayn’s waist to hug him and kept his lips pressed to Zayn’s temple where he pressed countless number of soft kisses.

 

“Want to sleep now?” Liam whispered while nuzzling his ear.

 

“Sure,” Zayn replied.

 

“I guess I’ll shower in the morning since you created all this wonderful art on me,” Liam said with a fond smile as he got off the sofa and picked Zayn up into his arms.

 

“You should keep it. It’s a good look. I’d say it’s better than your actual tattoos,” Zayn giggled.

 

“Oh is it? The ‘property of Zayn’ pointing at my dick is my favourite. Super classy. Let people know this dick is just for you yeah?” Liam said with a grin as he climbed the stairs.

 

“Just for me. I’m really possessive so I have to let all those hoes know,” Zayn said with a dramatic sigh.

 

Liam laughed out loud and stumbled a little as he entered as his bedroom. He fell onto the bed with Zayn pinned underneath him then lifted himself up a little and smiled at Zayn while tracing a finger under his eyes.

 

“You.” Liam said the word as a simple statement that had no purpose but at the same time the word sounded like it carried a lot of meaning behind it for him.

 

“Me what?” Zayn asked.

 

“Just you. You Zayn. My bambi eyes.” Liam smiled then moved back to take off Zayn’s shirt and pants.

 

“I would really love to, but my body can’t handle having sex again just yet. My ass and thighs are sore from riding you back at the bar,” Zayn said as Liam tossed his clothes to the side.

 

“I’m not trying to have sex with you, you crazy fool. I’m undressing you for bed,” Liam laughed incredulously.

 

“Oh,” Zayn turned a deep maroon colour. “Well carry on.”

 

“God baby boy you’re something else,” Liam chuckled and pressed kisses all over his face.

 

“You are,” Zayn said then shrieked loudly as Liam started tickling him.

 

“Holy shit Zayn you probably woke up people sleeping all the way in Queens,” Liam said with a shocked laugh. He didn’t stop tickling him.

 

“Stop! Stop Liam!” Zayn yelped through tears and hiccupped laughs.

 

Liam stopped and wrapped Zayn up in a tight hug and licked up his face then kissed him. “The cutest.” Liam said fondly and kissed him one last time then got up from the bed to go to the bathroom.

 

“I don’t appreciate the tickles or the licking,” Zayn yelled after him but smiled like a buffoon to himself and rolled over to spread across the bed and bury his face into mountain of soft pillows that Liam had on his massive bed that all smelt like him.

 

“Can’t help myself you taste so good,” Liam said in a light tone as he fell back into bed. He picked up a remote from his bedside table and turned off the lights with it and then pressed another button to close all his blinds on the massive windows.

 

Zayn rolled over and latched himself onto Liam who drew the duvet over their bodies and curled his arms around Zayn.

 

“I love sleeping next to you and waking up next to you,” Zayn whispered.

 

“Me too sweetheart,” Liam said and found his lips in the dark to kiss him.

 

“Goodnight Li,” Zayn murmured while his heart ached to say those three words as well.

 

“Goodnight baby,” Liam said softly and kissed his forehead. He started drawing slow circles onto Zayn’s back which was what lulled Zayn into sleep. He was so heavy with sleep he vaguely remembered mumbling ‘I love you jaan’ before he fell into a sleep loaded with dreams of him saying the three words to Liam only for something bad to happen in return.

 

**

 

Liam stepped into his gym and walked across the room to grab his boxing gloves. It was 7 a.m. and he had gotten up to do his daily morning workout before he had to get ready for work. He had left Zayn sleeping upstairs and the boy truly looked like an angel sleeping on a cloud. His smooth skin, his long lashes fluttering across his cheekbones, his tousled black hair a halo around his head, all amongst a sea of white pillows and white sheets on Liam’s bed. Liam had come straight to his gym which was on the first floor of his penthouse. It had all the equipment and machines he needed also with a built-in boxing ring so he never had to go anywhere else. As he was about to set up some music he got a text from Ameera.

 

From Meemz: Hope you’re awake. I’m in the elevator coming up to your place. There’s some urgent stuff to handle and I’m just gonna come with you to the office after.

 

Liam shot her back a quick ‘in the gym meet me there’ and then finished setting up his music. As Kanye started playing Liam pulled on his boxing gloves and walked over to the built-in dummy that he practiced with most mornings.

 

“Morning,” Ameera called out as she walked into the room her heels clicking on the floor and her voice echoing in the loud room. She looked fresh and awake like she did every morning and was sipping one coffee while holding another that was most likely for Liam. She set it down then hopped onto of a table and set her bag down.

 

“Morning Meemz,” Liam said as he tightened his gloves. “What’s so urgent?”

 

“Jeff sent me- what’s all that?” She waved at his body.

 

“What?” Liam looked down and realized he was still covered in Zayn’s artwork from last night. “Oh, that’s all Zayn. I was his living canvas.”

 

“That’s sweet,” Ameera smiled then she frowned a little bit and hopped off the table to walk over to him. “These are lyrics of a Bollywood song.”

 

“Probably. He wouldn’t tell me what it said,” Liam shrugged knowing that Zayn would tell him when he felt comfortable.

 

“Umm,” Ameera stopped in front of Liam and ran her fingers down his chest.

 

“Early morning feel-me-up session?” Liam grinned.

 

“No you fucking idiot,” Ameera rolled her eyes. “Liam do you not- these lyrics are pretty… is he sending you a message? These seem like love declarations.”

“What?” Liam asked confused.

 

“Do you- should I tell you what these mean or do you want to hear it from Zayn?” Ameera asked hesitantly.

 

“Zayn doesn’t seem like he wants to tell me. What do they mean?” Liam asked.

 

Ameera sighed then ran her fingers over the words as she translated them. “Listen to me my life partner, do you have any idea? That wherever you choose to breathe and live, that’s where I’ll spend my entire life. Umm,” she then traced lower as Liam caught his breath. “These meetings we have are so beautiful, but your words are even more beautiful. When I get caught up in your words I can’t seem to come back to my senses. I have found my life in between your arms.” She looked up to gauge his reaction and Liam told her to continue. “I was standing here lost in my own thoughts and living like a fool, you crept into my heart by surprise and created this love story. I have learnt how to smile from you, you are the reason to join our hearts, I have learnt to trust from you. And I can’t come back to my senses. In your arms I have found life. Listen to me my life partner, do you have any idea? Wherever you choose to breathe and live, that’s where I’ll spend my entire life.” Ameera finished off in a shaky breath.

 

“What?” Liam whispered feeling shaken up.

 

“And here, these aren’t any lyrics but he’s written ‘mera dil, mera pyaar, meri jaan’ right above your heart and that just means um... my heart, my love, my soul. Jaan means soul or life.” She looked up at him with shock and something else in her eyes.

 

“Meemz. You’re certain that’s what he’s written?” Liam asked.

 

“Yes Liam I know my native language and I know what this means you idiot.” Ameera smacked his arm then took a deep breath. “Has Zayn told you he loves you?”

 

“No. Not a word,” Liam murmured and sank down to the floor to lean against the side of his boxing ring. He pulled off his gloves no longer in the mood to exercise and threw them to the side. Ameera sighed and sank to the floor beside him.

 

“I think he loves you Liam. This,” she touched his chest, “babe this makes it so obvious. Doesn’t leave room for doubt.”

 

“He’s called me jaan before,” Liam murmured while gazing down at his arms where Zayn had written his own name across Liam’s pulse point.

 

“Liam,” Ameera caught his hand and held it tightly. “Listen to me. Zayn is… Zayn is a wonderful boy. He’s sweet, kind, intelligent and so pure. He seems like he wears his heart on his sleeve and honestly, I don’t know how it happened so fast but I’ve come to love that boy. So please, tell me now. If you don’t feel the same way for him please for the love of God don’t lead him on and let him off gently before it breaks his heart. This is heavy stuff.” She touched the words on Liam’s torso again.

 

“I-“ Liam closed his eyes and rubbed his hand over his face. These past few days had been a whirlwind. Within two days Liam had almost lost Zayn and then come to realize that nothing in this entire world mattered to him as much as Zayn did. When Zayn had gone under water Liam had understood true fear. Something he’d never felt before so strongly. Fear for the life of the boy who he’d come to care for so viciously, that Liam had realized standing on that beach that he would sacrifice himself to save that boy. He would do anything, to ensure Zayn’s safety and happiness. When he had called Zayn ‘love’ and held him all night long Liam had realized what relief felt like, that feeling of finally being able to breathe after having your lungs punctured. Why was it that one simple word had the heaviest burden on it? It felt like it was this great big thing that could only be accomplished after a certain amount of time or after a certain situation.

 

But Liam wanted to laugh out loud because as Ameera’s translation of the words on his chest rang in his ears, Liam realized, he realized like a bucket of cold water had been thrown on him, that he had fallen in love with Zayn the moment those beautiful eyes of his had peered up at him from behind ‘The Great Gatsby.’ He had fallen in love with Zayn at first sight and he had continued to sink deeper and deeper in the ocean that was Zayn when he heard the boy sing for the first time in his office, when he had tasted his lips for the first time in the rain, when he had first made love to him and heard his voice cry out Liam’s name, and when he had fallen into the ocean and Liam had realized he would die if anything happened to him. Zayn had walked into Liam’s life so unaware and so innocent and had made Liam fall in love instantly. Zayn, his smile, his eyes, his laugh and his entire existence had captured Liam. They’d done what Liam had never thought possible for himself. They’d gone ahead and quietly and so instantaneously made Liam fall in love.

 

“I love him,” Liam whispered. The words sounded so strange but so, _so_ right. He loved Zayn. He loved him.

 

“You do?” Ameera asked. “I mean, of course you do. I realized with that painting yesterday. Seriously that boy has you caught up in Urdu songs and you don’t even know that he’s been proclaiming his love to you.”

 

“I have to tell him. He probably hasn’t told me because he’s been doubting himself. As far as I know Zayn, he probably thinks I don’t feel the same way and that I might dump him if he tells me,” Liam sighed and rubbed his eyes. “My foolish boy.”

 

“Your boy is pretty freaking great,” Ameera said and rested her head on Liam’s shoulder. Liam laid his own head against hers. “I’m really happy for you. And I’m so glad that when you did fall in love it was with someone like Zayn and not Adrian or Alycia.”

 

“Shut up,” Liam laughed and flicked her head. “I need to tell him in some special way. I’ll take him out tonight. My heart wants me to go upstairs and pull him into my arms and scream that I love him. But knowing Zayn it might trigger some anxiety attack. I’ll take him out tonight somewhere quiet and tell him. Put him at ease and then he can feel relaxed enough to tell me.”

 

“You’re a good guy Li,” Ameera kissed his cheek. “Should have snatched you up when I had the chance eh?” She said jokingly.

 

“Sorry you missed out Meemz,” Liam said teasingly and she punched his leg lightly.

 

“Not really. You’re basically my best friend and brother all in one and I’m really happy for you babe. And I’m even more happy for Zayn because he deserves all the happiness in the world,” Ameera said

 

“He does. I would give him the world and more if he asked. He’s my everything and I realized that when I thought I might have lost him,” Liam murmured.

 

“That’s so sweet,” Ameera whispered. “You have me choked up you bitch.”

 

“The tough and tearless Ameera Khan has gotten choked up twice because of me? How?” Liam gasped dramatically.

 

“Do you want to keep your dick attached to your body?” Ameera asked.

 

“Yikes. You do know I’m your boss right?” Liam laughed.

 

“Friends rights first, boss ones after,” Ameera said.

 

“Liam?” A hesitant voice called out. Liam looked up to see Zayn walk into the gym wearing only his briefs and Liam’s old NYU jumper pulled over that which hung to his mid-thigh. Liam’s heart stopped looking at Zayn standing in the doorway. The early morning light was casting him in a soft glow and he looked all sleep-rumpled and adorable as he ran a hand through his messy raven locks and blinked sleepily at Liam and Ameera.

 

“Hi Ameera,” Zayn said and walked towards them.

 

“Morning my love,” Ameera smiled and stood up to kiss Zayn’s cheek.

 

“Morning baby,” Liam stood up too and drew Zayn into his arms to kiss his lips then his cheeks and forehead. Zayn smiled up at Liam gently and Liam’s heart ripped to shreds. How had he not realized the extent of his feelings before for this boy. These heart shattering feelings just by seeing Zayn smile were clearly love. Maybe even more than that if there was a depth beyond love.

 

“Mary was making breakfast when I first came in. I’m gonna go grab something from her and Liam you should shower. Your workout clearly is gone to waste,” Ameera grinned and walked away.

 

“I have to get ready for work. In fact, so do you,” Liam said while burying his face into Zayn’s hair.

 

“Mhm. You should wash me in the shower because I’m still half asleep,” Zayn mumbled.

 

“Alright sleepyhead. Come on I’ll wash you and dress you too,” Liam said and took Zayn’s hand to lead him back upstairs to the bathroom.

 

“Best boyfriend ever,” Zayn croaked as he stumbled over empty spaces and Liam had to right him.

 

**

 

“A meeting at 9 a.m., conference call with Tokyo at 10 a.m., lunch meeting with the representatives flying in from Vegas and then you have a meeting with May down at RED before you’re done for the day,” Ameera read off from her iPad while simultaneously texting on her phone.

 

They were in the back of Liam’s car on their way to the office and Ameera was giving Liam a run-down of his day. Liam tapped out a few notes on his own iPad while nodding at her.

 

“Sync my calendar. This day is going to be long,” Liam said and took a long gulp of coffee from his mug.

 

“And your mom called to ask if you’re coming to the benefit gala or not?” Ameera looked up.

 

“Forgot about that. She left me two voicemails as well. I’ll get back to her today,” Liam sighed.

 

“And the urgent matter for today is that the bid has been made and during your lunch meeting today you’ll probably hash out your ideas,” Ameera said.

 

“Yeah I know I talked to Jeff,” Liam said and closed his iPad. “It’s a matter of waiting.”

 

Liam then turned and looked at Zayn who was sitting beside him and texting on his phone while biting his lip relentlessly. His brow was furrowed and he looked stressed. But even then, he looked so beautiful Liam couldn’t help but smile. He tugged Zayn’s lip from his teeth and when the boy looked up at him Liam gave him a smile.

 

“Why do you look stressed? ‘Cmere,” Liam tugged Zayn into his side and Zayn sighed and buried his face into Liam’s shoulder.

 

“Nothing. My mom was just checking up on something. It’s nothing,” Zayn mumbled.

 

Liam hummed and kissed his forehead. “I won’t see you all day, not for lunch either. But after work wait for me and I’ll come get you and we’ll leave together. I wanna take you out somewhere tonight is that okay?”

 

“Umm sure. I’ll let my parents know,” Zayn said.

 

“Do you have to lie and say you’re with Harry again?” Liam asked

 

“Huh?” Zayn looked confused and then he schooled his expression. “Oh right. Harry. Yeah I have to say I’m with Harry. I- Yeah. We should- we should talk tonight,” Zayn whispered.

 

“Of course baby,” Liam said as they pulled up to Payne Corporations and climbed out. Ameera got out first then Liam took Zayn’s hand and they walked into the building together.

 

Zayn smiled and when Liam pressed a kiss to his cheek as they tapped their entrance cards and walked through, Zayn blushed and looked around at the people around them. They took the elevator up and Liam kissed Zayn deeply before letting the boy go who turned crimson red as he staggered out of the elevator. Liam winked at him as the elevator doors closed and Zayn smiled and bit his lip.

 

“So in love it’s disgusting,” Ameera cackled from beside him as the elevator moved up.

 

“Shut up Meemz,” Liam said but felt a grin spread across his face. He was in love with Zayn and he was so sure about it. And tonight, he would tell him, and show him just how much he loved him.

 

**

 

“Whatchu doing?”

 

Zayn slammed his notebook closed and looked back at Harry who had his chin hooked over Zayn’s shoulder who was sitting at his desk in the intern’s room. 

 

“Nothing.” Zayn knew he sounded defensive but he wasn’t sure if he could tell Harry what he had been doing. It was a little embarrassing ad he wasn’t completely sure if he was going to go through with it but it was something he really needed as a backup.

 

“Liar. I saw ‘Dear Liam’ at the top. Are you writing your boyfriend a letter? That’s so romantic,” Harry cooed and perched himself on the edge of the desk beside Zayn.

 

Zayn looked up to see that Serayah was immersed in work and Amada was texting on her phone. Zayn sighed and looked up at Harry deciding that maybe he needed the advice.

 

“I couldn’t tell Liam I loved him last night. The words just don’t seem to come out when I’m near him. I wrote some messages on his body in Urdu transliteration but he doesn’t know what that means. I don’t know how to tell him and I decided that I should write it down. It’s hard to say it verbally but maybe if I wrote it down in a letter and gave it to him, I could tell him how I feel,” Zayn sighed and opened his notebook back up to look at his letter.

 

“That’s sweet ZayZay,” Harry said and patted Zayn’s hand. “Can I read it?”

“I don’t know it’s a little embarrassing,” Zayn muttered feeling his cheeks redden.

 

“I would never laugh at you boo,” Harry said and pouted at him.

 

“Zayn?” May poked her head into the room. “Darling could you make me 10 copies of this report and then take the original over to Mr. Vincent. And grab me a latte too?”

 

“Sure,” Zayn said with a smile and took the report from May. She smiled a thank you and left. Zayn turned back to Harry to see him looking at Zayn’s notebook with unhidden curiosity. “Fine Haz read it while I’m gone but you will never repeat the words written in there to me or react when I return.”

“Got it!” Harry fell into Zayn’s chair and kicked up his legs onto the table and opened the notebook up to Zayn’s letter.

 

Zayn sighed knowing already that Harry would not follow the two rules Zayn had laid out for him. Zayn did the tasks May needed him to do and after he had delivered the reports and given May her latte, he returned to the interns room to see only Harry in there poking at a salad.

 

“Are the girls gone to lunch?” Zayn asked and fell back into his chair.

 

“Yeah they’re getting sushi, I wasn’t in the mood. And I told them you wouldn’t be either,” Harry said while looking at Zayn with a furrowed brow.

 

“That’s fine. I’ll get something from the vending machine. What?” Zayn asked when he saw Harry’s serious expression.

 

“Babe. I know you asked me not to but that letter… Zay that letter. It’s beautiful,” Harry whispered with tears in his eyes.

 

“Haz. Why are you crying?” Zayn asked feeling worried.

 

“I’m not. I just. You have such a way with words Zayn. That letter? You poured your heart out and it was so beautiful. And that little poem? I started crying. Liam will to if he reads it. You should give it to him. Whether you’re able to tell him verbally or not, you should still give him the letter.” Harry smiled at him then took Zayn’s hands. “I’m so happy for you Zayn and I think if you tell Liam or give him this letter, you’ll find that he feels the same way.”

Zayn nodded and ran his hand down the page of his letter. “Ok. Liam is taking me out tonight and I’ll give it to him. Or maybe tell him and then give him this. I don’t know. I’ll probably know when I see him. But I think I’m ready for him to know,” Zayn said softly.

 

Harry smiled and rolled over in his chair to hug Zayn tightly and press loud kisses to his cheeks. “This is a celebration. We should go out and eat pizza, this salad is too sad.”

“You don’t eat pizza,” Zayn said pointedly.

 

“There’s a nice little place down the corner and they do vegan pizzas and regular pizzas. Let’s go,” Harry stood up and dragged Zayn from his chair.

 

Zayn tucked his notebook into his bag safely and put it away. He would give Liam the letter tonight. He was ready. He was ready to tell Liam that he loved him. He was bursting with it and he couldn’t wait till he could finally let it all out and tell Liam that he was the love of his life, that he was quite literally Zayn’s everything.

 

**

 

“I feel nervous. The last time you had me blindfolded we were going to your villa in Paris. Is that where you’re taking me?”

 

Zayn couldn’t see anything. The only senses he had in control right now were his hearing with Liam’s chuckle in his ear, feeling with Liam’s warm touch on his waist and arm, and smell with Liam’s cologne and the scent of the city around him. Liam had blindfolded him in the back of the car when they had gotten off work and told Zayn that where he was taking him was a surprise.  

 

“Nô mon chérie. Not Paris this time although I wanted to. Hopefully just as nice though,’ Liam said and suddenly he stopped.

 

Zayn could hear some really loud whirring sound and then Liam lifted the blindfold. Zayn blinked a few times and then his eyes widened when he saw a black helicopter waiting in front of them that had ‘Payne’ written on one side in white.  He whirled around and noticed they were on a helipad that was on top of an extremely high building. Behind him Liam was grinning and Zayn felt his mouth flop like a fish.

 

“A helicopter? To where?” Zayn choked out having to yell above the sounds.

 

“A surprise. But I wanted to blindfold you before you saw the helicopter since your reactions are always so precious,” Liam laughed and took his hand. “Come on.”

 

Zayn followed Liam towards the helicopter where a man opened the door for them with a smile. Liam helped Zayn into it then climbed in himself and the man shut the door behind them.

 

“Is he not flying us?” Zayn asked confused.

 

“No. I am,” Liam said with a smile and started putting on a headset.

 

“You are?” Zayn felt shocked. He already felt nervous being in this small contraption that was about to fly and now Liam was flying them?

 

“I’m trained baby. Don’t stress yourself,” Liam said and tightened Zayn’s belt for him and put on Zayn’s headset for him. “Enjoy the view.”

 

“Enjoy the- right.” Zayn breathed and gulped as he looked out the window and faintly heard Liam talking into his headset to shoot a couple of commands and when he heard ‘all-clear’ Zayn clenched his hands tightly and closed his eyes.

 

“Ya Allah if I die-“ Zayn murmured to himself horrified as he felt his stomach swoop as the helicopter lifted off.

 

“Breathe baby just breathe,” Zayn heard Liam’s soothing voice through the headset on his own head.

 

“T-trying,” Zayn said and started taking deep breaths. He felt a tap on his knee and when he opened his eyes he saw Liam grinning at him and the man nodded to the window.

 

Zayn slowly turned to look out the window and gasped. They were flying above the Manhattan skyline and it was breathtaking. The sun was just starting to set and the city was washed in an orange-gold light and Zayn could see the tops of tall buildings he had only seen from standing on the ground. He forgot all his anxiety of being in the air and gasped at the sight below him.

 

“It’s beautiful,” Zayn said breathlessly.

 

“It really is,” Liam said and Zayn smiled at him. He continued to watch the changing landscape below him till Liam told him they were about to land. Zayn felt nervous again and closed his eyes as the helicopter swooped a little and began it’s decent.

 

Zayn had no idea how long he hand been clenching his hands into fists until he felt Liam’s hands unwrapping his fists and kissing his knuckles. Zayn opened his eyes in time for Liam to cup his face and kiss him breathless.

 

“We’re here,” Liam said and unbuckled his own belt then helped Zayn with his.

 

Zayn wasn’t sure what ‘here’ was yet but he followed Liam out of the helicopter. Liam climbed out first then helped Zayn hop down. Zayn smiled and kissed Liam as he jumped into his arms. Liam grinned and set him down then took his hand and started walking down the large grassy field they had landed on. All around him Zayn could only see stretches of grass and hills and trees. The wind was softly blowing through the leafy trees and the setting sun was peeking through them. Zayn was about to ask Liam where they were because it seemed like they were in the middle of nowhere when they walked around some large trees and came to a large clearing. Zayn’s eyes widened when he saw what was in front of them. Directly in front of them was a long walkway that ended at a small pond. Over the pond was a little bridge that led to a massive open ground. And on that was a large mansion made almost completely of a contemporary glass exterior. Zayn could see that it was a two or three story mansion and through the glass exterior he could see most of the inside of the house. But right now his eyes were travelling everywhere trying to understand it all.

 

“Liam whose place is this?” Zayn asked.

 

“Mine. Come one,” Liam took Zayn’s hand and led him across the bridge and the massive open space which was probably meant as a driveway even though there was a separate garage building on the side. Instead of going into the house Liam started walking around it towards the back. When they got to the back Zayn saw sprawling grounds that seemed to have no end except more grass and trees and there was a massive lake on the end with a whole walkway and deck built above it. And the back of the house was all glass too with an insanely large pool surrounded by spotlights and sofas and chairs on the sides. Zayn couldn’t even take in all the details of this place because his head was spinning and he didn’t know why they were here.

 

“A few months back I bought this place. It was an impulse buy you can say but my feelings were in the right place. Some years from now I don’t want to be living in the busy noisy city, I want something peaceful and secluded like this outside the city. So I saw this place and fell in love. I didn’t want to lose it so I quickly bought it. Now I’m not moving in anytime soon, probably not for a long time. But it’s gonna be here for me. For now, it’s a place I occasionally escape to when I need to be alone. No one knows about it except Ameera, because she helped me buy it and decorate it, and Niall.” Liam said all this while slowly walking towards the back of the house with Zayn.

 

“So why did you bring me here?” Zayn asked quietly. If this was Liam’s secret place, his future house that he had showed no one, why was Zayn here?

 

“Zayn,” Liam started. He turned around and cupped Zayn’s face. “There’s so much I want to say to you tonight but for now just know this. This place is my future and my forever. And by bringing you here and showing you all this, I want you to see and know that you are my forever and my future now too.”

 

“Liam,” Zayn started feeling himself choke up. He had planned on spilling his heart out to Liam tonight. And now with Liam bringing him here and showing him his future house and calling Zayn his future… was it possible that Liam wanted to do the same?

“We’re going to talk in a bit Zayn. First, I have a few things I want to show you. I want to take you canoeing on that lake and show you the other side of the water it’s beautiful. I also have a movie set up on my outdoor projector. I’m also going to make you dinner. And then at the end of the night when I’ve said what I need to say and shown you what I need to show you, I’m going to take you apart and put you back together all night long,” Liam murmured and kissed him gently and bit his lip.

 

“Ok,” Zayn breathed.

 

“Do you want to see the inside?” Liam asked and Zayn nodded. Liam led him into the house and Zayn marvelled at how beautiful the place was. The glass exterior was accompanied by all white marble and furnishings inside. Everything seemed so pristine that Zayn worried it could get ruined just by being touched. Liam led him into an open living room and walked across to the other side to push open the glass door that looked straight outside to the pool and the ground and lake beyond that. Zayn looked around at the place and when his eyes fell on a shiny black grand piano he stopped.

 

“You have a piano?” Zayn asked with a smile and went over to run his hand across it.

 

“Yeah it’s just for decoration mostly. I can’t play it but the interior decorator insisted it went with the place,” Liam chuckled

 

“I can play,” Zayn said softly.

 

“Really?” Liam asked and came behind Zayn to wrap his arms around his waist and kiss the nape of his neck.

 

“Yeah I took lessons for 7 years I’m OK I guess,” Zayn said and pressed a few keys. “I haven’t played since my teacher retired though because that was the only piano I had access to.”

“Do you want to play me something?” Liam asked gently.

 

 “I’m not that good,” Zayn laughed a little.

 

“Doesn’t matter. You could play me twinkle twinkle little star and I would still be amazed because that’s what you do Zayn. You continue to amaze me and blow me away. And these little things you do are what made me fall so hard for you,” Liam said and kissed him behind his ear.

 

Zayn felt his body stiffen a little but his heart was pounding manically in his chest. The letter he had written to Liam was burning a hole in his pocket and his heart was screaming with the desire to say those three words to Liam. His tongue was always tied though and the anxiety made him unsure what route to take. Zayn looked across the room where the glass doors were open and a soft breeze was blowing in. Liam had brought him to a place that was his forever. Zayn just wanted to turn around in his arms and kiss him and tell him that yeah, he was pretty much Zayn’s forever and more too. They had only known each other a month and Zayn was sure this man was his entire life. If he would have him. Zayn knew one way he could tell Liam. One way he was sure he could lay his heart open and let Liam see how it was bleeding on the inside for him.

 

Zayn stepped out of Liam’s arms and quietly went over to sit down on the piano bench. Liam was leaning against the side of the piano to watch him but Zayn kept his eyes trained down on the keys. This was it. It was now or ever. Words didn’t seem to work for him and he couldn’t build up the courage to whip the letter out at Liam. He could use music to his advantage.

 

“Play whatever is in your heart baby. Play the first thing that creeps into your heart,” Liam said gently.

 

“OK,” Zayn whispered. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His fingers shook as he placed them over the keys. He gulped and started playing a tune that had entered his mind as soon as he had walked into this place with Liam. And it was all the more obvious when Liam asked him what was in his heart. So Zayn parted his lips and started singing the words that accompanied the tune his fingers were playing on the piano, and that were the only thing he had been thinking of all day and since Liam had brought him here.

 

_“Wise men say… only fools rush in…but I can’t help falling in love with you. Oh shall I stay... would it be a sin? If I can’t help falling in love with you… Like a river flows surely to the sea... darling so it goes, some things are meant to be. Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can’t help falling in love with you… oh like a river flows, surely to the sea... darling so it goes, some things are meant to be. Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can’t help falling in love with you. For I can’t help falling in love with you.”_

Zayn finished in shaky breaths and when he opened his eyes he realized there were tears streaming down his cheeks and there was complete and utter silence around him. And as Zayn’s heart raced at an inhumane pace, he realized he was too afraid to look up and meet the gaze of the man who was his love, his life, his entire world.

_**_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Urdu Words:  
> -Aloo parathas: a breakfast food, like thin crispy buttery flat bread stuffed with spicy potatoes  
> -biryani: rice food  
> -Ek din tumh samjho ge meri jaan: one day you will understand my love/life  
> -Afreen afreen: the song zayn told liam about in the last ch  
> -(the song bits zayn sings as he writes them on liam are translated within the chapter, and also some other words he wrote over liam like mera dil, mera pyaar, meri jaan were also translated by ameera)  
> -(also I hope people have caught onto words like baba, beta, jaan, Allah, bhai, baji etc, it seems redundant to repeat them every ch. but if you dont know you can leave me a comment and i'll update the list)
> 
> \--
> 
> The 'can't help falling in love with you' piano cover I based Zayn's on is Haley Reinhart's cover that she sang in that famous extra gum commercial (yall know which one) heres her cover https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZkih54evUs
> 
> \--
> 
> Thanks for reading!! I hope you liked it!! This chapter has been my longest one yet and most intensely packed (although it lacked smut but with all the things I wanted to include smut didn't fit in but there is some in the next ch). I know I left it at a cliffhanger again but I'm not even going to lie I love those and it creates suspense lol. I love you all and all of your support! Let me know what you thought of the chapter and I'm not sure when the next ch will be out it all depends on when I find time to write but I promise I'll try not to be long! Thanks again! xxx


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, yes it's been long (like two months or more) and I'm really sorry for the delay but I explained in detail on tumblr on why I had been taking so long so I won't bore you with the same repetitive long speech here again. But I hope you'll forgive me because this chapter is 90 pages (26k words), I keep one upping myself by being the queen of excessiveness (it's annoying). There was this scene I really wanted to include in this chapter because it kickstarts/foreshadows the drama to come in later chapters but I wasn't able to include it because the chap was already 90 pages. But it'll be in the next chapter and I included a little sneak peek to give you a taste and also as a thank you for the patience and making me reach 600 kudos. I can't emphasize enough how grateful I am for all of your support because without it I would not be motivated to write more. Thank you! I'm gonna mention a few things in the end notes because I don't wanna waste your time anymore (if anyone is even reading this) so enjoy!!!!  
> p.s. ignore amy grammatical errors here and there as i wanted to get this up as quickly as possible :)

 

 

The room was completely silent and all Zayn could think about was his biology class the year before when he had learnt about the fight or flight mechanism. He had come to learn that while living in a perpetual state of anxiety, he was always on the verge of fight or flight, and his body always told him flight was the best option. As it was right now. He was pretty sure Liam had understood the message he was trying to convey. That song had been as obvious as his overly emotive face. But Liam was silent. Oh God, he was silent and Zayn wanted the ground to swallow him whole. Zayn looked up with watery eyes which were trained on his shaky hands and he took a deep breath. His lungs felt like they weren’t getting enough air and they were on fire. Liam was still silent. And Zayn couldn’t bring himself to meet Liam’s eyes because that silence could only mean the thing he was dreading.

 

Zayn quickly shot up from the piano bench as his body rolled with a sickening wave of panic. He knew he probably looked like a frightened animal but he had to get out of here. Liam didn’t love him. Zayn had spilled his guts through that song and Liam obviously didn’t love him. Zayn wanted to laugh at his own stupidity.

 

“I need to leave,” Zayn whispered through his tears and turned around to run back towards the door. He didn’t make it a foot past the piano before Liam caught him in a tight grip from behind.

 

“Why?” Liam asked in an infuriatingly, and painfully neutral, voice.

 

“Because I do. I have to go. Let me go Liam,” Zayn whimpered as fat tears fell from his eyes and rolled down his cheeks.

 

“But where would you go? You don’t know the way back to the city and you can’t fly the helicopter.” Liam’s was so painstakingly calm that Zayn felt his panic double in comparison and his nausea rolled through his stomach viciously.

 

“I don’t know. I guess I’ll walk back,” Zayn choked out through heated tears. Why was Liam doing this to him? Could he not see that Zayn had been embarrassed enough as it was?

 

“You can’t leave Zayn,” Liam said calmly.

 

“Why not?” Zayn cried harder, feeling his body start to shake.

 

Liam pressed his forehead to the back of Zayn’s head and slid his hand up from Zayn’s waist to press against his chest, right over where his heart was located. Zayn knew his heartbeat was insanely fast right now and Liam had his hand right above it and he was probably able to feel the way Zayn’s heart was thumping faster than ever, in a tortured rhythm.

 

“Because my foolish boy can’t you see? Can’t you see what I’ve been trying to tell you this whole time? What my eyes and my body have been telling you? What my heart is telling you?” Liam whispered.

 

Zayn shook his head worriedly, his body still trembling with silent sobs and fear for what Liam was about to say. “I don’t- I don’t know-“

 

Zayn felt Liam grip his upper arms and slowly turn him around. Zayn’s eyes refused to lift from the ground and meet Liam’s. His entire body was shaking like a leaf and he wanted to go find asylum somewhere because he was about to have a panic attack. His mind tried to go to his safe space but his heart was interrupting him and reminding him that Liam’s arms were his new safe space, and he had nothing to be afraid of. But ironically those very arms were the cause of his fear right now because the sanctity they were linked to was being threatened to be taken away from him.

 

“Zayn. Baby,” Liam whispered, his voice rough and low. “Look at me.”

 

“I can’t,” Zayn whimpered through tears.

 

“Why sweetheart?” Liam asked gently.

 

“Because what If I look into your eyes and don’t find what I’m looking for? It would hurt too much.” Zayn squeezed his eyes shut as the tears rolled down his cheeks, painting them in crystal clear salty tracks.  

 

“God baby,” Liam whispered and dropped his forehead down against Zayn’s. “Trust me. Look at me Zayn.”

 

Zayn took a deep breath then opened his eyes ever so slowly, in fear of what could happen. He looked up gradually and met Liam’s eyes which were a centimetre away from him. Zayn sucked in his breath because Liam- Liam had tears in his eyes. His eyes were awash with raging emotions and clouded with unshed tears. Why did Liam have that look in his eyes? Zayn felt so confused and afraid in that moment.

 

“Zayn I’ve been battling with myself these past few days trying to figure why I’ve been feeling a certain way. Why I become breathless when I see you. Why I can’t help but smile when I think of you. Why my every waking thought, and even my dreams are filled with you and you only.” Zayn looked up at Liam a little incredulously and Liam kept his intense gaze focused on Zayn. A gentle tugging of his lips was pulling them into a soft smile. “When you fell into the water I thought my heart had stopped beating completely. My only thought was that if something happened to you, I would never forgive myself. I’ve never felt such fear in my entire life. The thought of losing you, it almost killed me. You almost drowned in that ocean but the moment I saw you disappear I felt like I had already died. That’s how afraid I was.”

 

“Liam,” Zayn breathed out. His heart was hammering in his chest because he could see where Liam was going with this. He could feel it in the very raucous beating of his heart. And this was the most overwhelmed Zayn had felt in his entire life. Liam cupped his face delicately and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Zayn could feel some sort of desperation rolling off of Liam. The way he didn’t move his lips back from Zayn’s forehead for a few beats indicated he was trying to collect his thoughts and desperately trying to convey them.

 

“In that moment, it was obvious that you had become my entire world. It must be true what people say that when you think you might be about to lose someone you hold dear, you realize just how much they mean to you. It’s like everything slows down and all you can think about is that one person and how they’re the center of your world. That’s what I realized you were Zayn. And I was doing all these things like getting that painting of Afreen Afreen and thinking about how I related the words to you without even knowing how much more deeper all these feelings ran. And it wasn’t until Ameera translated the words you wrote on my body this morning.”

 

Zayn felt his body heat up in embarrassment. He had confessed his feelings through some lyrics on Liam’s body without even thinking that Liam had many resources to translate them. Technically Zayn had hoped for that but it was still embarrassing. Liam smiled at him and kissed him on the sharp of his cheekbone, letting his lips linger there for a few seconds.

 

“It wasn’t until this morning that it all came crashing down on me. The startling realization that I had fallen for you hard. That the way my heart beats for you and says your name with every beat is a feeling I’ve been harbouring for so long but never understood.” Liam took a deep breath and ran his thumbs along Zayn’s jawline and gazed into his eyes so passionately, it felt like he was looking straight into his soul. “It began the very moment I saw you in that library, when the sun hit your face and your eyes sparkled gold and I felt like my heart had stopped. When you spoke and then later sang and I felt like your voice was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Your smile is the first thing I want to see when I wake up and the last thing I see when I fall asleep. Zayn, you roped me in that very day we met and I’ve been yours ever since. My heart is yours and I want nothing more than to be able to get your heart in return. I’m now certain that love at first sight exists because I’m a victim myself.”

 

Zayn tightened his grip on Liam and felt fresh tears start stinging his eyes. He realized he was holding his breath but he couldn’t dare breathe right now. Not when this was happening. “Liam... what…”

 

“I realized it now but it happened that very first moment Zayn. I love you. I’m _in_ love with you and have been ever since I first laid my eyes on you bambi eyes. I love you.” Liam finished off in a rough whisper and gripped Zayn’s face more tightly.

 

“Liam,” Zayn choked out, his heart bursting and sending a rush of overwhelming emotions through his body that took the form of tears spilling unapologetically through his eyes. “You- you love me?” Zayn stuttered through tears.

 

“I do. I love you so,” Liam pressed a kiss on Zayn’s forehead, “so,” he pressed another kiss on his cheek, “so,” he kissed his jawline, “ _so_ much.” Liam finally captured Zayn’s lips in a desperate kiss that silently raved about the very emotions he had been conveying with words first and now through raw passion laced with mad and unapologetic love.  

 

Zayn whimpered in desperate relief, because _finally._ That’s all his heart and body were saying. Finally. Their kiss grew more heated as Liam tilted Zayn’s chin to allow him access to lick inside. Zayn tightened his arms around Liam’s neck and opened his mouth in eager response. Liam grabbed the backs of his thighs and lifted him up swiftly to place him on top of the piano. Zayn locked his arms and legs around Liam and tugged the man even more closer to mould their bodies together.

 

“I love you. I love you so fucking much,” Liam murmured as he pressed heated kisses along the curve of Zayn’s neck.

 

Zayn couldn’t help the small relieved laugh that fell from his lips in the midst of his heart beating rapidly and his tears that were still rolling.

 

“You love me?” What was intended to be a shocked musing came out sounding like a question deep in disbelief. Zayn felt Liam cup the back of his head and join their foreheads together.

 

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” Liam said softly, his brown eyes boring intensely into Zayn’s. There was a new sort of fire burning behind those orbs. Since meeting Liam, Zayn had always seen an animalistic, primal desire burn in his eyes whenever the man looked at him. Such raw sexual desire that Zayn always felt himself burn under that gaze. What he saw now was incomparable to that look. Love so pure and unadulterated ran through his eyes that Zayn could feel his entire body quake under the severity of it. It was so intense that he turned his own gaze down and blinked his eyes as tears fell from his eyes and dropped onto his lap.

 

“My love…” Liam murmured and pressed tender kisses to Zayn’s trembling jaw and gently wiped his tears with his thumbs.

 

“I- I’ve felt like this just as long as you have Liam. You walked into m-my life, literally and metaphorically, unannounced and captured my heart in that instance. I was so caught up in the aching way my body desired you that I didn’t even realize you had also, simultaneously, taken my heart captive. You and your stupid smirks and dirty innuendos had me gone for you from day one. But y-your smile, y-your laugh, the way you look at me like I’m your entire world, the way you’re so _so_ gentle with me and my anxiety… _you_ … you just, you swept me away.” Zayn raised his eyes and gulped seeing the unflinching fond and loving expression Liam had on his face.

 

“You swept me away,” Zayn choked out in a whisper and gripped Liam’s shirt with shaking hands. “You gave me no chance. You were, you _are,_ so brilliant, and kind, and loving, and gentle… and by God, so fucking sexy and charming… how could I not have fallen for you? I fell for you just like you fell for me… in that library. And you and your stupid ways… pursuing me… I couldn’t help _but_ fall… in love with you.” Zayn wiped his tears and looked up at the man he was pouring his heart out for. He touched Liam’s face with his fingertips then took his hand and kissed it.

 

“I love you,” Zayn finally uttered. “I love you… so fucking much. Liam, you have no idea… I love you more than anything, anyone… I would die-“ Zayn had no chance to finish that thought because Liam’s mouth came crashing down onto his.

 

Zayn wasted no time in opening his mouth to allow Liam’s tongue to enter and brush reverently along his own. Like always, he tasted slightly of nicotine, mint and something purely Liam, a mixture Zayn felt he could get drunk of. Foolishly enough he thought that if lust and love were bottled up and sold catered to every person, Zayn would find himself buying the one selling the taste of Liam. The whirlpool of emotions swimming between the two of them was charged with not only the new-found admission of love which heightened the desperation, but also the primal want that always existed between them and got amplified the moment their lips touched.

 

“Baby, baby what do you want?” Liam said in a voice roughened by his desire.

 

“Y-you, you… always want you,” Zayn panted breathlessly and tried to still his shaking hands where they gripped Liam’s shirt.

 

“You have to tell me what you want my love,” Liam’s eyes were dark and raging with the urge to rip Zayn’s clothes off and fuck him right there on the piano.

 

“Show me how you love me… m-make love to me,” Zayn stuttered and licked his lips. He watched Liam’s eyes follow the movement and the man’s grip on Zayn’s hips tightened. “Make me yours in every which way,” Zayn whispered as heat rose to cheeks.

 

“ _You_ ,” Liam said as a grin spread across his face, “are going to be the fucking death of me.” He pushed Zayn back against the piano and cradled the back of his head with one hand and cupped his jaw with the other. Then he leaned down and first simply stared at Zayn in silence. Zayn could feel a blush spring to his cheeks under Liam’s intense gaze and he turned his face away. Liam turned his face back and kissed a path along the side of his face.

 

“I love you so much. My baby… my love… my life… my heart… my angel… my everything.” Between every loving name, Liam pressed a kiss just as tender and loving on Zayn’s face. Zayn flushed deep and dark as overwhelming tears sprang to his eyes. Liam smiled softly and taking Zayn’s hands, he pressed a kiss to every knuckle and across the fluttering pulse on Zayn’s wrists. “My entire world.”

 

“Liam…” Zayn whispered. “Jaan.” He whimpered through tears and wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and buried his teary face in Liam’s neck.

 

“And you’re my jaan,” Liam said and kissed Zayn’s head as he stroked fingers through his hair.

 

“Y-you know what that means?” Zayn whispered, surprised at Liam’s admission.

 

“Yes. I can’t believe you’ve been calling me your life and soul for so long, but that’s exactly what you are to me too.” Liam moved back and cupped Zayn’s face to press a kiss to his lips.

 

Zayn couldn’t help the smile that stretched across his own face and he blinked a few times tipping his face up towards Liam. He bit his lip and closed his eyes on a sigh. “Jaan. My jaan. You’re my jaan and so much more.”

 

“My little romantic,” Liam laughed and scooped Zayn up into his arms while dusting his face with kisses. “I love you.” Liam hummed into Zayn’s ear as he hugged him fiercely and protectively to his chest.

 

“I love you more,” Zayn whispered back and kissed Liam’s neck.

 

“Literally not possible.” Liam shook his head and kissed the corner of Zayn’s mouth then kissed his lips again as if he couldn’t get enough them.

 

“Is too.” Zayn pouted and wound his arms around Liam’s neck as the man’s hands shifted lower to cup his ass and pick him up from the piano. Zayn locked his ankles at the base of Liam’s spine and met his lips in another tango of kisses.

 

“Is not my love. You’ll see when I prove to you how much I love you,” Liam lowered his voice and started sucking on the sensitive skin below Zayn’s ear.

 

“You play an unfair game Mr. Payne.” Zayn sighed as his brain started to transform into a pile of mush, incoherent and unable to process any more thoughts, when Liam payed such attention to his sensitive spots.

 

“Well spotted baby.” Liam laughed as he climbed one of the curving marble staircases in the foyer to go up to the second level of the house. Zayn huffed and attached his lips to Liam’s and opened his mouth in an invitation for Liam to ravage it. Liam smirked against his mouth and curled his tongue against Zayn’s in the exact way he knew Zayn liked and that made him go weak in the knees. When Liam moved onto to trailing kisses along his neck, Zayn opened his eyes in a hazy daze and peered over Liam’s shoulder to see the grandeur of the second floor of the house. The glass and marble interior was just as beautiful upstairs as it was downstairs. But Zayn didn’t get much of a look as Liam pushed open double doors to walk them into what happened to be the master bedroom.

 

Zayn glanced around the room that was awash in dim lighting and was decorated in whites, greys and the softest pastel blue that added serenity to the massive room. He could see an entire seating area on one side with large doors to what was probably a walk-in-closet and the bathroom. There were steps leading up to the raised side of the room where a bed, that looked more bigger than even a king-size resided, and right above the bed was a skylight covering half the ceiling. On the other side of the raised portion were glass doors that led out to an upstairs patio overlooking the lake.

 

While Zayn was taking all of this in Liam was lathering his neck and face in kisses. When he reached the foot of the bed he gently laid Zayn down and stood above him, just gazing down at him. Zayn flushed under his gaze and blinked up from under his eyelashes. He tried to subtly re-adjust his dick that was filling up and making his pants tighter. Liam smiled at his action and took Zayn’s hand to press kisses down his wrist and pushed up his sleeve as he went to trail the kisses up his arm.

 

“Li,” Zayn sighed out. His entire body was becoming hot, so very hot. Liam’s words and his torching gaze were enough to send his brain in a spin. He now just needed to feel this man, the man he loved beyond any reason, on top of him. Feel his weight press him into the mattress, every inch connected and feel him inside himself.

 

“Zayn,” Liam murmured and let go of his hand to lift Zayn’s leg. He took off his shoe then kissed his foot and ankle. After repeating the action on the other foot, he unbuttoned Zayn’s pants and slowly peeled them off. When Zayn was left in his briefs and shirt, which was pushed up to his stomach in a rumpled state, Liam looked down at him in such loving, wondrous awe that Zayn felt his heart start to race. There was pure love swimming in his eyes but something even darker chasing the love. The look he saw in Liam’s eyes whenever they were together, a look that screamed of the man’s desire to fuck him senseless, passionate and raw.

 

“This,” Liam said and lifted Zayn’s leg by hooking his hand under his knee and he traced the infamous freckle on Zayn’s thigh. “This freckle is my undoing. I love it almost as much as I love you.” He gave a smirk accompanied with hooded eyes and leaned down to kiss the spot causing Zayn to gasp out loud.

 

“L-Li…” Zayn couldn’t help the helpless whimpers escaping. Liam was sucking on the spot in the most sensual manner while his fingers lightly traced the bulge Zayn was sporting in his briefs.

 

“I could spend an hour just lavishing attention on your thighs and specifically this spot. Could you come just from that?” Liam raised his eyes to make eye contact and Zayn’s own eyes widened in surprise and he felt speechless for a second.

 

“Y-you did that one time last week when you spent a half hour just blowing me slowly and kissing my thighs,” Zayn stuttered out.

 

“Mmm. But without the blowing,” Liam grinned and licked the edge of Zayn’s briefs which prompted Zayn’s thighs to start trembling in Liam’s grasp.

 

“Y-you mean you want to tease me,” Zayn choked out as Liam started biting and sucking along his skin while his hand pushed up under Zayn’s shirt to rub his nipples.

 

“Exactly,” Liam hummed and kissed the love bite he had left on Zayn’s thigh.

 

“But I need you _now_ ,” Zayn whined not caring how desperate he was sounding. His heart hadn’t stopped it’s stampede of beats since Liam had uttered those three words downstairs and he was just desperate to have this man soothe the fire burning under his skin.

 

“How bad?” Liam cupped Zayn’s face and looked him in the eyes with a glint.

 

“So bad,” Zayn whispered and bit his lip while fluttering his eyelashes slowly. “So bad like you don’t even know.”

 

“Who’s the fucking tease now baby,” Liam growled, always helpless in front of Zayn’s lip-bite and eyelash fluttering look.

 

“Don’t you love me?” Zayn asked softly and ran his fingertips down Liam’s chest to trace his cock that was hardening in his pants.

 

Liam gazed at him silently for a second then a hungry smirk broke across his face. He grabbed Zayn’s hips and pushed him up the bed and dropped down over him. Zayn choked on a gasp which was swallowed by Liam’s lips attacking his own in a biting kiss. Zayn moaned into the kiss and wrapped shaky arms around Liam’s neck who had one hand tightened in Zayn’s hair and the other tilting his mouth open wider. Liam broke the kiss as quickly as he had started it and moved back to unbutton his shirt. Zayn panted and touched his fingertips to his swollen lips as he watched Liam strip his shirt and throw it onto the floor. Liam grinned and balanced his hands on either side of Zayn’s head and leaned down to kiss him but stopped when their lips were a breath apart.

 

“I love you,” Liam murmured and trailed light fingertips over Zayn’s face. “God, I love you so fucking much.” He pushed the strands of hair on Zayn’s forehead back and pressed the most tender kiss to that spot. Zayn closed his eyes and smiled at the gentleness of the gesture. He would never tire of hearing Liam say those words. What had been a dream was now his reality. Going from self-doubting himself and wondering if Liam Payne would ever hold any interest in him, to developing an infatuation and feeling insecure, to having Liam show the same interest in a physical sense and now this. He had it all. He was madly in love with this man and said man loved him just as much if not more.

 

“I love you more,” Zayn whispered and he could feel Liam smile against his neck.

 

“I’ll let you win just this once because I love your cute face so fucking much.” Liam smiled and when Zayn scrunched his nose up Liam bent down and kissed the tip of it. Zayn still felt the same arousal swimming through his veins but Liam’s gentle affections were making his heart burst and he sighed happily and buried his face into the crook of Liam’s neck to soak it all in. Liam just started stroking his hair and pressing little kisses across his temple and hairline. He took advantage of the tender moment to fall onto the bed beside Zayn so they were laying side by side. Liam pulled Zayn back into his arms in a fierce embrace and lowered his head to join their lips in a kiss again.

 

“My angel…” Liam murmured between kisses. “You have no idea what I would do for you. I would move heaven and hell for you.”

 

“When you say things like that I feel like I can’t breathe.” Zayn felt a rock settling into his throat once again and there was a threat of new tears about to spill from his eyes.

 

Liam put his hand over Zayn’s heart, underneath his shirt, and felt the rapid beat of it. He then helped Zayn raise his arms and peeled his shirt off. Zayn felt his hair become a mess around his head and when he reached a hand up to fix it, Liam took a hold of his wrist to stop him. He smiled softly and kissed Zayn’s palm and wrist. Then he moved down and pressed a kiss right over Zayn’s heart and looked up with a smile.

 

“I love you,” Zayn couldn’t help but choke out as the tears broke through helplessly. “I just… I love you so much. You’re literally my entire world Liam and even thinking about being without you makes me want to die. I _would_ die without you.”

 

“Don’t.” Liam said suddenly serious and stern. “I don’t want to hear that Zayn. I would never on my life let anything happen to you baby. You’ll never have to be without me but rest assured if anything ever happened to you I would rip this world to shreds. Ok?”

 

Zayn nodded and blinked his watery eyes to try and clear his vision. The moment had suddenly become very overwhelming and his heart had started to panic unnecessarily.

 

“Come here sweetheart,” Liam said in a gentle tone and tucked Zayn into his chest. He rubbed a soothing hand up and down his back while kissing the top of his head. “You’re mine and I’m yours. Always. Forever. I love you too fucking much to ever let there be a possibility that we could be separated. Just know that. And don’t ever joke about dying or getting hurt because I don’t even want to imagine that. It makes me lose my mind even thinking of it.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Zayn said in a small voice.

 

“Don’t be sorry angel. I just can’t imagine anything happening to my bambi eyes,” Liam laughed lightly to soften the serious mood and Zayn smiled upon hearing the nickname.

 

“It must be sounding redundant now but I love you,” Zayn said.

 

“Those words, from your mouth, will never be redundant,” Liam replied.

 

“Good to know. I intend to abuse it a lot.” Zayn looked up and smiled at Liam. The man’s own smile widened looking at Zayn’s.

 

“Eyes to bring any man down to his knees and a smile to shatter the hearts of millions. And it’s all mine.” Liam murmured and traced a line down Zayn’s face.

 

“All yours,” Zayn replied breathlessly and kissed Liam as the arousal and passion from before ignited the fire in his veins again. He reached a hand down and unbuckled Liam’s pants and fumbled with a zipper for a few moments before it opened. Liam then moved back and pushed his pants off till he was also left in his boxer briefs like Zayn.

 

“You know the first time I ever saw a semi-nude photo of you was the day we met and Harry texted it to me after you left. It was a photoshoot you had done in which you were wearing black Calvin Klein briefs like this and lying on black sheets just like these as well. Safe to say my dreams were not so innocent that night.” Zayn turned red as he finished off his thought.

 

Liam laughed and squeezed Zayn’s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. “What did you dream about?”

 

“I can’t say,” Zayn mumbled feeling embarrassed.

 

“I could recreate it,” Liam smirked.

 

Zayn shook his head and leaned forward to kiss Liam into silence again and the man was still smirking against his lips. He took advantage of the moment and squeezed Zayn’s ass as he aligned their crotches. Zayn gasped at feeling the friction between them and unconsciously started grinding forward. He was desperately trying to seek some sort of release because Liam had been teasing him for far too damn long.

 

“Patience baby boy. Or I may have to tie you up,” Liam said a in a low dark voice.

 

“S-someday m-maybe you should.” Zayn flushed and closed his eyes as Liam started to suck on his collarbone.

 

“Someday I will. Tie you up, have my way with you, tease you and bring you to the edge while you whine and beg and then fuck you till you’re a screaming mess,” Liam murmured into his ear.

 

“F-fuck,” Zayn stammered.

 

“Wait here.” Liam got off the bed and Zayn looked after him confused and panting as he squeezed his dick to give it some relief. Liam opened a door to what was presumably the bathroom and disappeared inside. It felt like hours, but a few seconds later Liam emerged with a small lube bottle and a box of condoms. Zayn gulped in anticipation as Liam tossed them beside Zayn on the bed then climbed back on top of him and smiled down at him.

 

“Hi,” Liam said with a wide smile and kissed Zayn on the cheek.

 

“Hi,” Zayn replied with a small smile of his own.

 

“Turn over for me,” Liam said and kissed his nose while tapping his hip. Zayn turned over too quickly in excitement and he heard Liam laugh softly. He heard Liam murmur something like ‘I love you so fucking much’ and he felt a kiss on the nape of his neck.

 

Zayn smiled into the pillow and bit his lip in desperation and hot anticipation as Liam slowly took off his briefs. Zayn could feel Liam’s warm hand caress the small of his back and then his ass which was followed by kisses on the same spots.

 

“Alright my love?” Liam asked as he rubbed Zayn’s hip soothingly.

 

“Always alright with you Liam. Always,” Zayn replied as his mind flashed back to the first time they had had sex. How things had changed since then.

 

“Good,” Liam answered and Zayn heard a bottle cap flip open and a few moments later, cold lubed fingers were tracing his entrance. Zayn whimpered and he could feel his toes curl. He had to grip the pillow tightly as Liam slowly and carefully began opening him up. The careful and gentle attention he paid to Zayn with kisses across the skin of his back and hips and a hand rubbing his side made his mind swim out of focus. The hot feeling of Liam’s thick fingers thrusting in and out of him and nudging his prostrate made him want to scream in arousal. His dick was leaking across the bed and by the time Liam finished, he was a crying, whimpering and incoherent mess.

 

“Li... Jaan... please…” Zayn’s voice cracked with desperation.

 

“You’re alright angel. I’ve got you,” Liam whispered huskily as he put a condom on his own dick and lubed himself up. “I’ve always got you.” He then turned Zayn around so they were face to face and wrapped Zayn’s legs around his waist.

 

“I love you Zayn. More than anything and anyone… I love you.” Liam linked his hand with Zayn and kissed him passionately as he positioned his cock and started to slowly push in.

 

Zayn choked on a moan and tightened his thighs around Liam’s waist. His hands clawed at Liam’s back as the man bottomed out. He was pressing kisses to Zayn’s hairline who felt so out of it he couldn’t even register the kisses.

 

“You’re always so fucking tight baby,” Liam growled and started nipping along the skin of Zayn’s neck.

 

“Y-you can move. Please.” Zayn panted and dug his heels into Liam’s back, prompting the man to start fucking him proper.

 

Liam linked their hands and pressed them down into the mattress as he started moving slowly. At Zayn’s responding moans he quickened his thrusts which had Zayn cry out louder. Liam caught his lips in a kiss which echoed the thrusts he was doing into Zayn’s body. Zayn’s mind was so ablaze he had no idea what to focus on. The friction between their hot tongues or Liam’s throbbing length thrusting in and out of him relentlessly.

 

“Liam. God Liam. I l-love you.” Zayn chanted incoherently.

 

“I love too angel. I love you so fucking much,” Liam said with a groan and started nipping along Zayn’s jawline. He pushed Zayn’s leg up higher to gain a better angle and when he hit Zayn’s prostrate, Zayn felt like he was seeing stars. He could distantly hear himself screaming in pleasure but all he could focus on was the delicious feeling of Liam joined with him at his most intimate place, fucking him with a primal urge, but kissing him so tenderly in contrast across his neck.

 

When Liam pinched his nipple between a thumb and forefinger, Zayn’s eyes flew open and his mouth gaped in silent pleasure. Liam teased the buds a little more till Zayn broke into tears from the overwhelming pleasure. Just when he thought he couldn’t possibly feel like combusting even more, Liam started stroking his length in time with his own thrusts. Zayn scratched down Liam’s back in his fucked over state and Liam growled in response and started stroking and thrusting faster.

 

“Fuck Liam. I- I’m gonna…” Zayn broke off in a cry of pleasure.

 

“Open your eyes baby boy,” Liam said and when Zayn looked into his eyes he saw that his pupils were dark and wide. “Come for me.”

 

Zayn needed no further invitation and he spilled into Liam’s hand with a final cry of pleasure that ended with a choked out ‘Jaan.’ Hearing the word from Zayn’s mouth made Liam thrust so hard that Zayn felt like he was being split open. But coupled with his sensitivity, the action felt so fucking good he whimpered weakly in pleasure again.

 

“I love you,” Liam moaned and tightened his grip on Zayn’s hand while he came inside him. Zayn sighed in pleasure and tightened his limbs around Liam and kissed the side of his head.

 

Liam panted into Zayn’s neck for a few seconds then slowly pulled his softening dick out of Zayn and after tying up the condom, he tossed it to a side. He fell onto the bed beside Zayn and pulled him on top of his chest. He hugged Zayn possessively and kissed his sweaty hairline while stroking his back

 

“You good?” Liam asked breathlessly and Zayn only managed a sluggish nod.

 

“Always… fucked out of my mind… with you… need a minute… “ Zayn raised one finger to indicate the minute and Liam chuckled fondly.

 

“A thousand minutes for you angel,” Liam said and squeezed him gently.

 

“You should speak carefully… if someone heard your obsessed ways… they’d kidnap me for ransom… and ask you for a billion dollars… and you’d probably give it,” Zayn slurred.

 

“In a heartbeat.” Liam affirmed. “And then murder the son of a bitch who dared to lay hands on you.”

 

“OK Hulk,” Zayn giggled and Liam smacked his ass lightly.

 

“Owww!!” Zayn whined. “I’m still sore.”

 

“Too sore for dinner or anything else?” Liam asked.

 

Zayn opened one eye and looked up at him. Liam was giving him the most affectionate smile Zayn had ever seen grace someone’s features, like his parents when they looked at each other.

 

“Do you have food for me?” Zayn asked slowly.

 

“Wait till you see,” Liam grinned and kissed his forehead.

 

“OK but you have to give me a bath first and then feed me. Your dick murdered me tonight. I’m dead, although in a good way,” Zayn grinned.

 

“As you wish your highness,” Liam chuckled and got off the bed while still holding Zayn against his chest.

 

“You joke but you don’t know that my great-great-grandfather was a Nawab in Pakistan which is basically like a prince. I kind of descend from royalty,” Zayn huffed and gave Liam a tiny glare.

 

“Dead serious?” Liam asked, looking a little amused and shocked.

 

“Yup.” Zayn affirmed and Liam gave him an appreciative look and kissed him.

 

“Well my prince your bath awaits you,” Liam teased as he walked into the bathroom.

 

“Thank you, my loyal servant. I love you,” Zayn giggled as Liam deposited him on the counter.

 

“You throw out I love yous to all your servants?” Liam asked as he plugged the tub and started to run water.

 

“The sexy ones,” Zayn grinned and leaned back on his hands, watching Liam who prepared the bath.

 

“I’m flattered but also jealous. I wonder how many other sexy servants you flirt with.” Liam sauntered over and pushed Zayn’s legs apart to stand in between them. Zayn had to lick his dry lips and gather his thoughts because post-coital Liam was a look he was weak for. The man’s hair was ruffled with some of it falling across his forehead. His eyes were hooded like he was tired but sparkled with happiness and bliss. His smirk was lazy and sharp and his whole body glistened with sweat from before. Zayn’s eyes darted to Liam’s biceps which were bulging as he leaned his arms on the counter and he couldn’t think at all.

 

“N-none but you. Only you,” Zayn breathed and raised his eyes to see Liam giving him a knowing look.

 

“It better be,” Liam whispered and nipped Zayn’s lip then walked back over to the tub to turn the water off. Afterwards he came back to help Zayn into the tub where he settled in behind him. Zayn sighed in utter bliss and looked up at the roof which had another massive skylight over the claw-foot tub and the large shower (which could probably house 15 people). He noticed that the sun had mostly set and the earliest stars were twinkling in the sky. Everything felt perfect and like a dream.

 

“I love you Jaan,” Zayn murmured and kissed Liam’s hand.

 

“Love you more my angel.”

 

**

 

“Take my hand… take my whole life too… for I can’t help falling in love with you…”

 

Liam grinned and watched Zayn who was standing in front of the open fridge as he swayed his hips and sang ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love with You’ to himself. A song which Liam knew would forever be special for them now. It felt like it was their song. After they had finished their bath, Liam had told Zayn that the dinner plan he had was to make their own pizzas in Liam’s outdoor brick pizza oven. The way Zayn’s eyes had lit up with happiness instantly proved to Liam how he would gladly spend his whole life giving Zayn the smallest and biggest of pleasures like this just to see that glint stay alive in his eyes. The eyes of the love of his life.

 

Zayn was carrying the ingredients to the outdoor kitchen where the brick pizza oven was and humming the song to himself. Liam was chopping up veggies and watching Zayn who was dressed in Liam’s shirt and boxers, his hair fallen across his forehead. Zayn’s collarbones and thighs were decorated in love bites and Liam felt possessiveness rage through his body. God, he loved this boy so fucking much. Liam was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t notice Zayn had walked up to him until he felt a gentle hand on his forearm. Liam looked at him and smiled which Zayn returned with a blush.

 

“I don’t know how to light the oven it has some weird mechanics,” Zayn said and wrapped both of his arms around Liam’s one arm and pressed his face into Liam’s bicep.

 

“Sure baby,” Liam wiped his hands on a towel and turned to go outside when he noticed Zayn was still looking at him. “Something wrong?”

 

Zayn paused then he smiled his usual heart-breaking innocent and sweet smile. “Can I get a kiss?”

 

Liam chuckled and reached an arm out to wrap around Zayn’s waist and pull him flush against his chest. “Always.” He pressed his lips to Zayn’s which tasted of something sweet like chocolate. Liam realized Zayn had probably devoured the truffles Liam had pulled out earlier because his lips tasted intoxicatingly of that.

 

“Delicious,” Liam murmured and pecked him one final time before he went outside.

 

He started up the oven and then arranged the ingredients on the counter outside. Zayn walked out with the remaining chopped veggies and joined Liam at their pizza preparation counter.

 

“That’s your chicken, I kept it separate from my pepperoni to make sure there was no cross contamination. But I also got beef pepperoni for you. Anything else you want to add?” Liam said and pulled over the bowl of marinara sauce.

 

“You’re amazing, thank you,” Zayn murmured and kissed his cheek.

 

Liam smiled, confused. “Nothing too praise me for sweetheart. It’s common knowledge and basic decency that I make sure your food stays away from the pork pepperoni.”

 

“Not everyone gets it,” Zayn said and started saucing his dough.

 

“They’re just ignorant fucks,” Liam said and kissed the top of Zayn’s head. “I got you regular coke I know you hate diet.”

 

“You know me so well,” Zayn teased although he was blushing.

 

“How could I be in love with you and not know all the little things about you? There’s still so much more for me to know but I could never overlook the things I do know. And on that note, I also got mint chocolate chip and cheesecake ice cream. I know you like some weird mixture.” Liam said with a grin.

 

“Babe when did you go grocery shopping?” Zayn asked looking confused.

 

“Well technically I didn’t go myself. I have someone who does it for me but I wrote out the exact list. Only the best for my bambi eyes,” Liam replied with a smile and sprinkled cheese on his pizza.

 

“Still the best boyfriend ever.” Zayn shuffled over and hugged Liam without actually wrapping his saucy hands around him but rather let them hover behind Liam’s back. Liam kissed the top of his head again and Zayn pressed a kiss to his bare chest. Liam had only thrown on a pair of ripped jeans and gone without a top because it was way too hot outside.

 

They went back to making their pizzas and when they were successfully inside the pizza oven they started picking up their things. When Zayn was busy picking up the unused cheese, Liam slyly dipped his finger in the tomato sauce then flicked it at Zayn.

 

“Leeyum!!” Zayn huffed out annoyed.

 

“What?” Liam asked feigning innocence.

 

“I’m all saucy!” Even when Zayn made an annoyed or angry expression he looked so irresistibly adorable that Liam felt fond rush through him. He laughed then moved forward and licked it off Zayn’s face.

 

“And now you’re all clean,” Liam said. What he wasn’t expecting was for Zayn to dip his hand into the dry flour and smack it onto Liam’s back.

 

“Zee!” Liam yelled surprised.

 

Zayn laughed and pushed away from Liam to take off running down the patio and onto the grassy lawn. It was dark out and he didn’t go far but Liam could see him running across the ground towards the pool.

 

“Not a smart choice! You can’t swim!” Liam yelled and walked after him.

 

“Yes, but I could pretend to fall in and you would go all crazy again,” Zayn teased.

 

“Wow. That was a little savage.” Liam laughed and stalked up to Zayn.

 

Zayn grinned then ran a circle around the pool and back up the patio steps to the outdoor kitchen and picked up the dry flour again. While he was busy with the flour Liam snuck around to the shed he had on the side of the house. Last time Niall was here he had brought water guns saying the massive grounds were an ideal location for a water fight. That afternoon Niall, Liam and Ameera had spent 3 hours having a water fight. Liam grabbed the gun and filled it with water knowing Zayn wouldn’t be expecting it. When it was done, he went outside and circled to the back of the house again. He could see Zayn peering around at the basketball court wondering where Liam had gone. Liam walked up as quietly as he could and aimed his gun then fired a stream of water at Zayn’s back.

 

Zayn screamed and spun around with a horrified expression. “Liam where the fuck did you get that from?”

 

“You better run baby boy,” Liam smirked and pointed the water gun at Zayn again. Zayn’s eyes widened and he walked back a few steps slowly then screamed again and took off running barefoot down the basketball court and down the hilly grass on the other side.

 

Liam chased after him firing another stream of water at his back.

 

“This is so unfair!” Zayn screeched. “I have no ammunition and I don’t know this house!”  
  
“Life isn’t fair sweetheart!” Liam laughed. Zayn ran towards the lake and his feet pounded on the wooden deck as he ran across it towards the open end standing right above the water with nowhere else to go.

 

“This isn’t fair! You always corner me in or near water! I have a phobia you know!” Zayn cried out and pressed himself against the wooden railing of the deck.

 

“OK. I’ll make it more fair. I’ll give you a head start of 20 seconds. There’s a shed on the side of the house that has more water guns in there. You have 20 seconds to get there and get your ammunition and then I’m coming after you. Got it?” Liam said as he stood in front of Zayn.

 

“You’re on.” Zayn grinned and took off at lightning speed.

 

“I’m coming for you my love!” Liam yelled after him and he heard Zayn’s beautiful laugh ring into the breezy night.

 

**

 

It was much later and they were both changed into another pair of clothes after the insane water fight they had had. It had ended with Liam finally tackling Zayn on the grass and kissing him breathless till they both forgot about the chase and started kissing lazily on the grass under the dark starry sky. It was when Zayn had exclaimed that they had forgotten their pizzas that they returned for them and found them to be on the cusp of being burnt. They still ate them while sitting on the deck chairs by the pool and exchanged kisses in between as Zayn pointed out constellations that were usually not visible in the city.

 

When the last bites of the food had finished, Liam took Zayn’s hand and led him down the grassy field towards an end he knew Zayn hadn’t seen yet. It was there that he had pillows and blankets set up in front of an outdoor projector. He had a bucket of ice holding champagne and macaroons that he knew Zayn loved. When the latter saw all this he turned to Liam with wide eyes and asked what it all was. Liam pulled Zayn to sit down on the blanket beside him and smiled at him.

 

“Told you I had a lot planned. What better than to watch a movie than under the stars. And I even chose a Bollywood movie that I know you love,” Liam said.

 

“You did not,” Zayn giggled.

 

“I did. But before that I have something for you. I bought this today when I realized I intended to tell you I love you and I knew I wanted to give you a token of my love. I know you don’t like gifts but this is different because it shows just how much I love you and I hope you wear it as long as we’re together. Which I hope is a very long time.” Liam smiled.

 

“What is it?” Zayn asked softly.

 

Liam reached under one of the pillows and pulled out what he wanted to give to Zayn. When he had a moment free during his lunch meetings he had gotten to the Cartier store and purchased it. He knew that if he was going to tell Zayn how he felt he was going to go all out and settle for nothing less. Liam opened the box to reveal a rose gold love bracelet.

 

“A love bracelet. It comes with a key so basically I put it on your wrist then I wear the key on a chain. And it’s the only key to open it.” Liam took it out of the box and held out his hand for Zayn’s. The boy was gaping at him in shock but he slowly put his hand forward. Liam took his hand and kissed it softly then unlocked the bracelet with the key and locked it onto Zayn’s wrist. Then he put the chain over his neck and tucked it into his shirt.

 

“I have the key to your heart. As long as you love me, as long as we have each other, I’ll always wear this. And I hope you’ll always wear that.” Liam murmured and squeezed Zayn’s hand. The boy was gazing astonished at the bracelet then he looked up and met Liam’s gaze with teary eyes.

 

“God Liam… you’re just… you always… I don’t know what to say… And I have nothing for you… “ Zayn stammered.

 

“All I need is you. With me. That’s all,” Liam cupped his face and kissed him and Zayn shuffled forward to climb into his lap. He wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and kissed him deeply.

 

“You’re amazing and you keep making these gestures that leave me completely speechless. What did I do to deserve you?” Zayn whispered, his voice shaking.

 

“More like what did I do to deserve _you._ You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me Zayn Malik. You’re my entire world and nothing matters to me but you. I love you so much,” Liam said this and started showering kisses across Zayn’s face who held onto Liam’s wrists.

 

“Thank you,” Zayn murmured and gazed down at the bracelet. “It’s beautiful. I’ll never take it off. And knowing you wear the only key to open it anyways makes it feel more intense.”

 

“I’m the only one with the key to your heart and I will guard it with my life. I will treat it with only tenderness and love,” Liam told Zayn and hugged him tightly to his chest.

 

“I know you will. I know you’ll take care of my heart and never let it break. And that’s why I love you. And just know Liam, I would never break your heart or hurt you intentionally either. Even unintentionally. I’d rather die,” Zayn said while holding Liam’s hand in a death grip.

 

“Don’t.” Liam murmured and joined their foreheads. “And I know that baby. I know.”

Zayn gave him a watery smile and Liam joined their lips in a tender kiss. It didn’t go too far because then Liam played the movie for them and they spent the next few hours nestled in the blankets, wrapped in each other’s arms, watching the movie under the stars. Drunk on love.

 

**

 

“I’m so tired I could sleep for ten years. But we have work tomorrow.” Zayn moaned as he fell onto the bed in the master bedroom for a second time that night.

 

“Already taken care of. Neither of us are going to work,” Liam said as he picked up their dropped clothes from earlier to put them on the dressing table.

 

“Perks of dating the CEO,” Zayn snorted in his sleepy drunk stupor. “I didn’t mean that in some manipulative deceitful way,” he corrected within a few seconds.

 

“Baby I know. You have to chill,” Liam laughed at the fact that Zayn felt guilty about even making ‘I’m dating the boss and can do whatever the fuck I want’ jokes.

 

“Yeah I just wouldn’t want people to think I get you to do stuff for me in the workplace,” Zayn sighed.

 

“Well –“ Liam stopped what he was saying because a white envelope had fallen out of the pocket of Zayn’s discarded jeans from earlier. The front said ‘Liam’ and he felt curiosity spike him wondering why Zayn had a letter addressed to him in his pocket.

 

“What’s this baby?” Liam asked, turning around.

 

“Hmm?” Zayn asked over a yawn but when he saw what Liam was holding his eyes flew wide as saucers and he darted up from the bed so fast he tripped over the sheets and stumbled across the floor quickly to get to Liam.

 

“Nothing! N-nothing!” Zayn snatched it out of Liam’s hands and put it behind his back.

 

“It says my name on it. And you wouldn’t freak out if it was nothing,” Liam said slowly. He was even more interested now to know what was in that letter.

 

“It’s dumb. Just some stupid letter I wrote for you earlier but it’s embarrassing so I’m gonna destroy it now. It’s nothing really. N-nothing,” Zayn stammered out looking red in the face with embarrassment.

 

“Alright, if you say so.” Liam said slowly. Zayn nodded and turned around to walk back towards the bed and Liam saw an opportunity and pulled it out of his hand.

 

“Li!” Zayn shrieked. Liam smirked and backed away towards the door holding the letter in his hands.

 

“You wrote me a letter Zayn. Obviously, my interest would be piqued. How can I not be intrigued?” Liam said with a smile and waved the letter.

 

“Liam Payne you can’t read that!” Zayn yelled and ran over to him only to have Liam hold it way above his reach. Zayn jumped uselessly a few times to grab it but it was too far.

 

“What could possibly have you freaked?” Liam teased and lowered the letter to open it.

 

“Liam please don’t!” Zayn yelled again looking annoyed and when Liam moved back towards the sofas, he jumped on his back and tried to snatch it.

 

Liam laughed at Zayn’s strength coming solely from his irritation. And lightly dropped Zayn on the sofa and pulled the letter out of the envelope only to have Zayn tackle him and grab the edge crumpling it.

 

“Liam… please don’t read it.” Zayn said more quietly this time.

 

Liam paused hearing the genuine fear or something close to fear in Zayn’s voice. If Zayn ever sounded afraid Liam’s automatic reaction was to start worrying about what or who could have caused his boy to feel like this. Liam sat up, pulling Zayn up too and put the letter in his hands.

 

“Baby, hey...” Liam tilted his face up. “I swear on my life I wasn’t actually going to read it. I was just messing with you. The moment you shot up from the bed looking worried I knew you might embarrassed about it so I would never disrespect your privacy like that. I swear I was just joking. I would never hurt you or make you anxious like that.” Liam kissed Zayn’s forehead worried that his joke had gone too far and Zayn might be going into an anxiety attack.

 

“Thank you.” Zayn said quietly and crawled into Liam’s lap to hug him tightly and bury his face in his neck. Liam hugged him back just as tightly and kissed his forehead. “It was a love letter I wrote earlier today. I wanted to tell you that I love you and I didn’t know how you felt. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to communicate properly verbally so I wrote it all down. But now that I think about it, it’s rather embarrassing. I’m too… open.”

 

“You don’t have to explain yourself angel. I understand. Completely. You already told me you loved me in the most beautiful way ever. By playing the piano and singing me a song. I don’t need anything else.” Liam talked in soft murmurs to soothe Zayn because he could feel the boy’s rabbit fast heart beat against his own. Zayn was silent for a few moments and kept his face hidden in Liam’s neck as the man stroked his hair soothingly.

 

“You can read it,” Zayn whispered hesitantly.

 

“What?” Liam asked confused.

 

“You’re just so fucking wonderful you always leave me speechless dear God,” Zayn laughed lightly. “Read it. I want you to read what my heart says in its depths. About you. Just how far my love runs.”

 

“Are you sure?” Liam questioned.

 

“Yes… Just don’t laugh at some of the overly sappy or embarrassing stuff. I love you and I went too deep into my feelings. I’m a romantic. I’m sorry.”  
  
“You could have written me a love song in Russian and I’d love it.” Liam dropped a kiss to his head and Zayn huffed. He pressed the letter into Liam’s hand then rolled to lie on the rug and covered his face with a cushion.

 

“I can’t watch you read my embarrassing words.” Zayn said in a muffled voice.

 

Liam grinned and lifted Zayn’s leg to kiss it then leaned back against the sofa to open the letter.

 

 

_Dear Liam,_

_Written words have been my best friend since I could hold a pen in my little hand in elementary school. My Baba always encouraged me to keep a journal of all my thoughts and you see, I was going through some tough times in school and journaling stuff helped. Kids can be nasty bullies especially to the quiet little Pakistani Muslim boy. And words helped. Written words come as easily as a moth to a flame to me. It’s the verbal part that I find hard. Anxiety is a bitch. It makes me live in a consistent state of wishing the ground swallowed me whole so I wouldn’t have to interact with people, especially new people. People who intimidate me. For a few years in elementary school my anxiety was so bad I used to stutter when talking to people. Even when I get nervous now I start to stutter. You probably noticed it. When I met you all I did was stutter all day. You and your stupid smirks guaranteed that you sexy fool. When you made love to me for the first time I was so out of my mind with nerves that all I did was stutter. What I’m trying to get at is, that I’m writing this letter because I’ve always found expressing myself through written words much easier. Because eye contact and the fear of stuttering isn’t involved. My Baba always said a pen is our strongest weapon and tool of defence. What I have to say to you is going to require so much courage and I need to hide behind this inky veil of defence. So let me begin._

_Liam. I’m sitting here trying to think of one adjective to describe you and by God it is impossible. You are an enigma. A star in my dark world. My red in a world of black and white. Brilliant, intelligent, funny, witty, kind, understanding, sexy, classy, charming, gorgeous. The list goes on infinitely. But just looking at these few things one can only wonder which damn fool on this earth wouldn’t fall for you? Hard, fast and instantaneous. Like being in a car crash. And that’s exactly how I fell for you. I think back to that day in the library and I see it in pink and gold hues like some Bollywood movie. You turn the corner looking so fucking gorgeous with that damn smirk, and wind is blowing and violins are playing and the narrator is saying “this is the day Zayn fell for Liam, pretty much at first sight.” Like whiplash you stole the air from my lungs that day and made me yours even if I didn’t know it yet. Oh yeah, that little 18 year old fool was fucked the moment you said “Hi.” I lived in a hell of anxiety those few weeks because you had charmed the fuck out of me and the left saying “I’ll see you when I see you bambi eyes” and I had no fucking idea what to make of it. I didn’t know how to flirt, let’s be honest I still can’t. I was so God damn attracted to you and your speech about hazel had me floored. But my anxiety and insecurities won me over and told me you were just teasing me because there was no way YOU, Liam Payne, a retired football player, Superbowl champion, current CEO of a billion-dollar company would want anything to do with me, Zayn Malik introverted Brooklyn boy hoping to one day be a pediatric surgeon, who likes to draw silly doodles in his spare time._

_I've been a ghost my entire life just floating thorough years of school mostly unnoticed (which I preferred) and just sleepwalking and never thinking I'd actually meet the man of my dreams so soon, at the age of 18, fresh out of high school. You see Liam up until recently I thought my life was going to be very simple like I've seen my parents and other people around me live. I'd go to NYU and study hard and get good grades and hopefully get into to a good med school and work towards my dreams. And one day have a stable job so that my parents could retire and I could support them. As depressing as it sounds I never knew if I'd find love. It's not so easy for a gay Muslim boy. I'm a romantic at heart, I grew up watching Bollywood movies and wanted that dreamy love so badly. But after Drew behaved like an asshole to me it got crushed further. And I was content with living a quiet simple life. Going unnoticed and working on my goals. It was going perfectly until the day I decided to stay in the library and read The Great Gatsby and not join Harry for frozen yogurt. It sounds so silly and if someone read this they would laugh, but I literally felt like I was living out a movie. My dream man entered and swept me off my feet._ _Paris, the wedding, having sex that rainy night, the Afreen Afreen painting, the weekend at the Hamptons house... one after another you've been taking me through all these dream like situations and I feel like I'm walking on air_ _._ _But hear this: Liam Payne on a hot summer day you walked into the dusty library of my high school having phone sex with your ex-girlfriend as I was hiding out in the aisles of the library. You didn't know you would stumble upon a silly boy obsessed with a Fitzgerald book and I didn't know I would meet the man I would fall in love with. Yes, I'm in love with you._

_There's a word in Urdu called 'ishq.' It's such a beautiful word. It means love at a level so deep it consumes your very soul. 'Pyaar' is the simple word for love in Urdu but what 'ishq' is, is much more complex and 100 steps ahead of just simple love. Ishq is love where you pretty much worship the person you're in love with. They make up every fiber of your being and they're literally one half your soul. It's an all-consuming, pining, life or death level of love. Liam, I realized what I feel for you is ishq. Two days ago upon returning from the Hamptons, my family confronted me about you after seeing a picture and I had one of the worst panic attacks I’ve ever had and screamed out what my subconscious had been holding prisoner. That I was in love with you. During that moment, I was so confused and afraid. But I've thought long and hard about it and when it all started and I feel somewhat at peace now. Yes, I fell in love with you that very moment I saw you but spending these past few weeks with you and getting to know the incredible human you are made me fall quick and deep into 'ishq.' You're my jaan whose ishq I'm drowning in. How cheesy right? But it's nothing but the truth. You're my soul, my life, you've consumed me entirely and I can see a tattoo across my heart that says your name. It bleeds only for you now. Loving you is as simple and a basic fact of life like breathing air. Which is so ironic because when I'm around you I feel like all the air is sucked out of my lungs._

_Afreen Afreen. Praise to God for making you. The most wonderful man I know. My everything. I can't say these things out loud to you because I feel like you might not feel the same way. And it would crush me Liam. I wouldn't be able to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. But whether you do feel the same way or don't, I wrote this letter so you could hear about my feelings. I needed to tell you. But the thought of telling you in person is so terrifying because if I saw rejection in your eyes I wouldn't survive. At least this way the blow would be less severe. Maa tells me to have hope because you sending the Afreen painting means you probably feel the same way because those lyrics are really deep and you said you associate them with me. I don't want to get my hopes up but Liam, jaan, I love you and need you more than the very air I breathe. You've become crucial to my existence and I can't imagine a world where I would have to be without you. I don't know what you'll tell me when you read this letter but I'm praying so hard that it will be what my heart wants to hear. And to finish off, here's a poem I wrote about you two days ago. It's so nerve wracking to show this to you but maybe it would show you just how much I love you. If you're going to break my heart after this, please tread lightly. Me and my fragile heart might not survive a blow too harsh._

**_“My Heart”_ **

**_My tortured heart found its tranquility in your arms._ **

**_My love, my life, my heart, my joy._ **

**_Every breath that I take, every beat of my heart, every step that I take,_ **

**_All link with yours in harmony._ **

**_Every second of every day, I’m wandering aimless, hopeless, empty and alone,_ **

**_When I fall into your arms I can finally breathe. I can finally breathe._ **

**_Your strong arms, your intoxicating scent, your sparkling eyes, your laugh as deep as the ocean,_ **

**_I cannot live a single day without their grace._ **

**_You’re the fire in my veins, the electricity under my skin, the beating of my heart, the reason for my life._ **

**_My joy, my tears, my passion, my serenity, my day, my night._ **

**_My calm, my madness,_ **

**_You’re my chaotic good._ **

**_You hold my bleeding heart so tenderly,_ **

**_You cherish my smiles and lock them in your heart,_ **

**_You gaze at me with aching adoration, it tears me apart._ **

**_You took my heart and gave me yours, I keep it wrapped inside my soul._ **

**_I hold my breath and count the seconds of every night till that golden sun rises inside your eyes._ **

**_You pull me in and hold me tight, and whisper sweet, sweet words of love and lust._ **

**_I come alive in those moments and finally realize,_ **

**_This is where I’m meant to be._ **

**_In your arms and in your heart,_ **

**_Tangled up in you, with your scorching touch,_ **

**_Locked away, washed in love._ **

**_You catch me when I fall, you shield me from the darkness, you hold my fragile existence so gently._ **

**_You are the very air that I breathe, the soul in my body, the euphoria of my life._ **

**_You are,_ **

**_My love, my life, my heart, my joy._ **

****

_P.S. This letter makes me burn with embarrassment just reading it so maybe don't mention it till I've died. I might just die from anticipation anyways._

_P.P.S. If I panic because your reply is not the one I hope for, will you hold me just one last time? Because your arms are my safe space._

_Your bambi eyes forever,_

_Zayn._

Liam finished reading the letter but his eyes lingered for a few moments longer. He was stunned. There were no other words to describe what he was feeling. If Zayn’s rendition of ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love with You’ had completely stripped him down and left him naked wearing nothing but his love, this letter had gone the extra mile by pulling his heart from his chest and laying it bare and bleeding for Liam to see. Zayn had already vocalized his feelings for Liam and said ‘I love you’ in more ways than one. But reading this letter which had been the first method of Zayn’s love proclamation before he even knew he’d be admitting it tonight and wondering if Liam would return the feelings, was incredibly overwhelming. If possible, Liam’s heart surged with even more love for this boy. This sweet, gentle, amazing boy who wore his heart on his sleeve. This boy who was so madly in love with him that he penned down his feelings in not only a romantic letter but an incredibly beautiful poem.

 

Liam set the letter down gently then turned to Zayn who was still hiding his face in the cushion, his knuckles white from gripping it so hard. “Zayn,” Liam murmured, his voice weighed down by emotion.

 

The boy’s grip got tighter and Liam had to physically pry away the cushion. Zayn’s eyes were wide with nervousness and his cheeks were burning red. Liam leaned down over him and connected their foreheads while cradling Zayn’s face. “Angel… you…” Liam struggled to get the words out.

 

“You’re unbelievable. I thought I already knew exactly how you feel about me but I was wrong. This letter is so much more raw and honest than everything else. That poem? Baby that was fucking beautiful,” Liam whispered gently, afraid of making Zayn anxious. “I already love you more than humanly possible but after reading all that, I think it’s increased a hundred times.”

 

“It’s not too cheesy or embarrassing?” Zayn asked, his lip trapped between his teeth.

 

“Of course not my love. It’s fucking beautiful. Although it’s ironic that you kept talking about the inevitable doom of me breaking your heart but reading that was instead breaking my heart. It blows my mind that even up until you wrote that letter, when you were very much in love with me, you were still doubting what I felt for you,” Liam sighed as he admitted the only part of the letter that had worried him.

 

“N-no Liam it’s not like that. I’m sorry if I hurt you. I just… I was so anxious and my mind kept telling me that there was no way you would love me back or be interested in something long-term and serious so soon. I… I’m sorry.” Zayn’s voice was no higher than a hushed tone and Liam felt his heart ache for how troubled he looked. He leaned down and kissed Zayn tenderly, trying to sooth his worries.

 

“Stop apologizing,” Liam murmured. “I know and I understand. In fact, I want to thank you for trusting me enough to let me read your most inner most thoughts. The way you talk about your love for me, and how you came to realize it… Zayn… it’s beautiful. It’s beyond beautiful. You poured you heart out and I’m grateful and in awe.” Liam pulled Zayn’s body down a little so he could properly climb on top of him. He ran his hand through Zayn’s soft black locks and when the boy’s eyes fluttered close he leaned down and kissed him. “I love you so much and exactly how you described it in your letter, my love for you is all consuming and you’re my life and my soul too.”

 

Zayn smiled slightly and reached up to wind his arms around Liam’s neck so their kiss could deepen. “I’m so glad you like it because I was losing my mind thinking that you would be weirded out by how deep and cheesy I got.”

 

“Never,” Liam whispered and claimed Zayn’s mouth in another possessive kiss. “Every word you said was so endearing and I’m gonna keep that letter close forever now. You’re my love, my life, my heart, my joy.”

 

Zayn groaned, “Don’t quote it to me now. That’s embarrassing”  
  
Liam grinned and wrapped his arms around Zayn’s body to hold him flush against himself and kissed him heatedly. Between kisses and constant whisperings of ‘I love you,’ they undressed each other slowly and made love for a second time that night right on the ground with Zayn’s written confession of love lying beside them.

 

**

 

A loud ringing sound was cutting through the silence of the morning and Liam groaned and shifted in bed to reach out blindly for his phone. When he located his phone, he peeled an eye open to see Ameera’s name on the screen and he hastily picked it up.

 

“Meemz what is it?” Liam answered in a raspy tone.

 

“I know you said not to disturb you but Rodriguez from Vegas called and needs to do a video conference with you urgently. You said you weren’t coming into work and I wouldn’t have disturbed you but he said it’s necessary you do it today,” Ameera said in an apologetic tone.

 

Liam looked down at Zayn who was sleeping content in his arms with his head resting on Liam’s chest and arm tight around his waist. Liam kissed his head and Zayn made a small sound of pleasure in his sleep. “It’s fine. I can do it. Time?”

 

“Noon. So you have two hours. I thought I’d warn you,” Ameera told him.

 

“Alright cool. Thanks. I’ll be home later today so just take all my calls and messages.” Liam said in a whisper so Zayn wouldn’t get disturbed.

 

“Can do. And before you go, your mom left a message to once again remind you of the gala tomorrow and to let you know that she expects you there,” Ameera said.

 

“I’ll talk to her Meemz. I already told her I’d come but she doesn’t seem to trust me. But thanks, and I’ll see you later,” Liam said through a yawn.

 

“Bye Li,” Ameera said and shut the phone.

 

Liam put his phone back on the table then turned towards Zayn and wrapped him up in both arms while burying his face into his hair. Zayn’s hair looked the best in the morning in Liam’s opinion. Raven coloured silky locks in all their glory, that would be gone wild after a night of sleeping and sticking up messily in every direction. His hair always smelled faintly of pomegranate shampoo and Liam was addicted to the smell. Not to mention how it felt between his fingers when he stroked it gently or when he gripped it tightly during moments of pleasure. Liam pressed a kiss to the crown of Zayn’s head and then his warm forehead.

 

“Zayn,” Liam murmured and stroked his face with his thumb. “Angel...”

 

Zayn snuffled in his sleep and his eyebrows scrunched up. He pressed into Liam’s touch unthinkingly but still didn’t wake up.

 

“My love,” Liam said with a smile and peppered Zayn’s face with kisses. “Wake up.”

 

Zayn murmured something that Liam couldn’t quite understand and he stroked his fingers along his jawline and kissed his closed eyelids. “It’s morning baby you have to wake up.”

 

“Mhm. I donqwicare…” Zayn mumbled unintelligibly. “Mujhe sone do,” he continued to mumble in Urdu and Liam grinned fondly and kissed Zayn lightly on the lips.

 

“Come on angel. Wake up and let me see those beautiful eyes of yours,” Liam said lovingly.

 

Zayn sighed in his sleep and still didn’t wake up. Liam started tracing all his features with a finger and when he ran it under Zayn’s eye, the latter’s long spidery eyelashes started fluttering like crazy and Liam ran the tip of his finger over them. “I miss you baby, wake up.”

 

At that point, Zayn’s eyes started blinking slowly and when they opened a quarter of the way, he blinked around blearily in confusion. After noticing the chest he was sleeping on, he looked up and Liam’s heart flipped when those sleepy hazel eyes met his own. Zayn blinked those heavily lashed eyes a few times then smiled a slow enchanting smile.

 

“Hi,” he croaked tiredly.

 

“Morning angel,” Liam replied and kissed him chastely. Zayn opened his pliant mouth into a sweet kiss and although he tasted slightly of sleep and a little minty from last night’s toothpaste, Liam felt drunk off his taste and ran his tongue into Zayn’s mouth.

 

 “Have you been awake long?” Zayn asked through a yawn and curled around Liam’s body again.

 

“Ameera woke me up because I have a Skype meeting in two hours. I would have let you sleep but I wanted to make you breakfast before I got busy,” Liam told him while carding fingers through his hair.

 

“Mkay. Breakfast sounds good. I’m really hungry,” Zayn yawned and stretched his arms out.

 

“You can lie here for a few minutes and I’ll go get it started. Sound good?” Liam asked and rubbed Zayn’s bare back.

 

“But I wanna cuddle a little longer,” Zayn pouted and Liam smiled.

 

“How about I bring you breakfast in bed and then we can just eat it up here and then cuddle till my call. Sound alright?” Liam linked his fingers with Zayn’s and kissed each fingertip.

 

“Ok but hurry back ‘cus I get grumpy if my cuddles are delayed and I’ll start charging you interest on them,” Zayn said and grinned lazily at Liam.

 

“Alright your highness,” Liam laughed and pressed a kiss to Zayn’s lips before rolling out of bed. He got up and stretched his arms above his head then walked over to his closet completely nude to find some sweats to wear. After pulling on his bottoms he went back into the room and smiled at Zayn who had curled back into a ball while hugging Liam’s pillow, with his eyes closed. Liam was leaving the room when Zayn’s voice stopped him.

 

“Li…” he called out.

 

“Yeah?” Liam asked.

 

“I love you,” Zayn said and grinned at Liam from where he was lying in the rumbled black sheets looking like an angel. Liam couldn’t help but walk back over and kiss him. Zayn whimpered into the kiss and started grinding up slowly as Liam claimed his mouth.

 

“I love you too. I love you more,” Liam said and kissed him one final time. “Now let me make breakfast and we’ll continue this after.” Liam squeezed Zayn’s bare thigh and the boy flushed red but nodded with a glint in his eyes.

 

Liam went downstairs and prepared a breakfast of pancakes and fruit while an image of Zayn sleep-soft and pliant in his bed upstairs stayed in his mind. When he carried a tray of the food upstairs, Zayn was sat up in bed wide awake and texting on his phone.

 

“Not sleepy anymore?” Liam joked and set down the tray. He then sat beside Zayn and kissed the side of his head. Zayn only gave him a nervous smile which caused Liam some confusion. What had happened after he left that was causing Zayn to bite his lip, twist his hands and blink rapidly which was what he did when he was nervous or anxious.

 

“I umm,” Zayn stuttered and looked down at his hands. “My mom called asking where I was. So I told her in minimal details that I was with you. She umm… she got really serious and said she wants to meet you. My dad as well. I know it’s so early and they said it as a joke before too but they actually sounded serious this time. And I know you wouldn’t want to meet my family this soon in the relationship but I don’t know what to tell them…”

 

“Where did you get the idea that I wouldn’t want to meet them?” Liam asked and took a sip of his coffee. When Zayn continued to look confused, Liam set his coffee aside and pulled him into his lap. Liam cupped his face and kissed his forehead then moved back to look into his eyes.

 

“Did you just assume on your own that I would say no to meeting your family?” Liam asked and watched as Zayn’s eyes grew large then he looked down giving Liam a clear view of his rapidly blinking lashes.

 

“N-no… I mean… it’s just so soon and you being you, I assumed you’d be busy,” Zayn said in a low tone.

 

“Baby look at me.” When Zayn raised his head, Liam gazed into his eyes that had specks of gold and green dancing across the hazel in the morning light. “I would love to meet your family. I don’t care if it’s too early. There’s no rules. I love you and want to know about every aspect of your life. And that includes your family. And after all I want to meet the wonderful people who created your fine face.”

 

Zayn burst into laughter and his head fell forward against Liam’s bare chest. “I hate you. Your wonderfulness is infuriating to an extent. But I do love you.”

“And I love you too. Now please don’t stress about this and let your mom know I’d be happy to meet them just tell me when and where,” Liam said and held a strawberry out for Zayn to bite into.

 

“Well,” Zayn after swallowing the berry and licking the juice off his lips, which had Liam glancing at his lips with hungry eyes, “Maa said if you’re available tonight it would be good ‘cus my sister will be over too but you don’t have to. I can tell them next weekend or something but she’s so insistent.”

 

“Tonight is fine. I have a few things to take care of but I’ll be free after,” Liam said and leaned forward to lick away some maple syrup from the corner of Zayn’s mouth.

 

“It’ll be dinner at my place… is that… are you okay with that? Or is it too stressful?” Zayn asked so nervously that he didn’t even notice he was blowing at a glass of orange juice instead of his tea.

 

Liam laughed and took the glass out of Zayn’s hands to kiss him until the tension melted from his body. “Yes baby that’s ok. I promise you. I’m a business man, I know how to deal with people and charm the fuck out of them. I’ll be fine.”

 

“Well I won’t be,” Zayn groaned.

 

“You’ll be fine. And I’ll be right there ok?” Liam rubbed his back and kissed his head. Zayn nodded and curled back into Liam’s side and drank his tea while staring off contemplatively.

 

After breakfast was done they lazed in bed for a bit sharing lazy kisses and then they showered and pulled on some clothes. Liam left to his office taking his laptop with him and told Zayn to feel free to explore the house.  Zayn went off in search of something to kill time with and after peeking around half of the house and the many lavish rooms it had, he travelled into the basement level and found it to include a massive gym room, a home spa-massage room, and a home movie theatre. There were still more rooms down a couple of corridors but Zayn went into the home theatre. There were six rows of comfortable leather couches and a screen as massive as a real movie theatre screen. Going through an impressive movie collection saved in the system, Zayn found The Conjuring 2 to his delight and ran to the kitchen to grab snacks before settling down with a blanket.

 

**

 

 

Zayn tightened the blanket around his shoulders and shrunk back into the sofa, his heart pounding. On screen, Ed and Lorraine were interviewing Janet who was taking on the voice of Billy Wilkin’s ghost. Zayn could feel his heart racing and he gulped down the taste of the popcorn and clutched the bowl tighter to his chest. Why was it always little girls that got possessed in movies and they turned out to be so creepy? He still had nightmares about the twins from The Shining. But no matter how much these movies frightened him, he still got a thrill from watching them and it was worth it every time. But watching horror movies on his laptop’s small screen or the TV at home was nothing compared to the massive screen that covered one entire wall in Liam’s home theatre. The horror was taken up a notch and Zayn could feel the fear of the characters seeping into his bones. Just as Janet’s character was about to reveal something important, the door to the theatre room opened and a figure loomed in the doorway.

 

“Zay-“

 

Zayn shrieked loudly just as a bang was heard on the screen. He turned with wide eyes and a pounding heart to see Liam walking into the room trying to hold back an amused smile.

 

“I almost died Liam! You gave me a heart attack!” Zayn said while shooting the man a glare.

 

Liam raised an eyebrow and grinned as he picked Zayn up into his arms, blanket and all, and sat down on the sofa holding Zayn in his lap. Zayn tried to continue glaring at Liam angrily, but the man kissed him on the lips and then on his nose and Zayn smiled a little and melted back against his chest.

 

“If you’re going to jump so easily you shouldn’t watch horror movies in the dark,” Liam said as he rubbed a hand across Zayn’s stomach which was under the blanket.

 

“It’s more thrilling this way and the fear is what is enjoyable you know,” Zayn reminded him and leaned forward to grab his massive bowl of popcorn.

 

“I’ll remember that when you have nightmares of Billy Wilkins tonight,” Liam said with a smirk playing on his lips.

 

“That’s really mean Liam,” Zayn replied and tried to make his expression look as hurt as possible.

 

Liam laughed and kissed his neck. Then he dug his hand into the bowl in Zayn’s lap and grabbed a handful of the popcorn and candy mix and tossed it into his mouth.

 

“God what the fuck is in this baby?” Liam asked with a disgusted expression on his face as he swallowed.

 

“It’s just butter popcorn! With peanut and chocolate M&M’s and sour skittles thrown in,” Zayn said wondering why Liam looked so disgusted. He grabbed some and ate it himself.

 

“Popcorn… with M&Ms… _and_ sour skittles? What the fuck kind of crap are you eating babe?” Liam asked and drank some of Zayn’s coke to wash away the taste.

 

“Well the buttery-ness of the popcorn, the sweetness of the M&Ms and the sourness of the skittles blend together to make a perfect mix. You’re just a hater Liam,” Zayn scoffed and ate some more of his snack while looking at Liam dead in the eyes.  

 

“Why don’t you just admit you can’t have anything without injecting some sugar into it? The popcorn is just an excuse, isn’t it?” Liam asked with a smile.

 

“No,” Zayn said in a deadpan voice. “It’s enjoyable unlike your- your celery.”

 

“My celery?” Liam burst out laughing.

 

“ ‘Cus you’re super healthy!” Zayn pouted, with his brow furrowed.

 

“I actually hate celery. Carrots sure, not celery,” Liam grinned and cupped Zayn’s face to kiss him. “You’re a little bit ridiculous my love.”

 

“Am not,” Zayn whispered and closed his eyes as Liam’s smiling mouth connected with his. Zayn felt the same butterflies flutter through his stomach that did every time he kissed Liam. Their lips danced in a soft and lazy kiss and after a few seconds Liam moved the bowl onto the floor and gently pushed Zayn to lie back against the leather couch. He hovered over him, never dropping his full weight down, to continue kissing him.

 

“You know,” Liam said in between kisses. “Coming from your mouth, the taste of that strange mix seems rather enjoyable now. Kind of addicting actually.” He nipped at Zayn’s lower lip and kissed along his jawline.

 

“You’re just saying that now ‘cus you want some,” Zayn said and closed his eyes as Liam sucked gently on his neck.

 

“Want some what?” Liam hummed against his throat.

 

“Want some ass,” Zayn giggled and Liam bit his chin in reprimand.

 

“It’s no secret that I always want your ass,” Liam moved back and pushed Zayn’s fallen fringe out of his eyes and grinned at him. Zayn blushed under Liam’s heavy gaze who in turn kissed Zayn’s heated cheeks. Zayn was about to start losing himself in the pleasure of Liam kissing down his neck and palming his ass when there was a loud scream that came from the screen. Zayn snapped his neck towards the screen, just now realizing that he had missed a good portion of the movie.

 

“She’s about to get possessed Liam,” Zayn gasped and craned his neck to focus on what was happening on screen.

 

“You’re about to get possessed,” Liam teased and latched his mouth onto Zayn’s collarbone.

 

“Yes but-“ Zayn jumped as a horrifying image of the demon showed up on screen. He looked down at Liam who was kissing along his exposed shoulder now and Zayn realized he couldn’t concentrate on either activity like this. Zayn grinned to himself and decided to play a game of his own.

 

“Li,” Zayn started in a shaky voice.

 

“Yeah baby?” Liam asked.

 

“Demon!” Zayn screamed and pushed Liam off of himself.

 

“What?” Liam said, sounding confused and shocked all together.

 

“Demon! Demon! Demon!” Zayn shrieked and pushed Liam off completely and rolled off the sofa in one fluid motion. He looked at Liam who was staring at him like Zayn had grown three heads. Zayn got up and started running from the room not before throwing Liam a quick grin.

 

“Zayn!” Liam shouted with laughter in his voice as he caught onto Zayn’s game.

 

“Not tonight Satan! Try and catch me now!” Zayn yelled and took off through the house. He knew Liam would be quick on his heels.

 

“Are you high?” Liam yelled after him laughing.

 

Zayn quickly ran through a series of hallways that were down in the basement trying to find a space to hide in. He wasn’t completely familiar with Liam’s house yet and he had no idea what was behind half of these doors. Eventually he came across wooden double doors and he pushed them open to find himself inside a game room that also had a bar running along one side. Zayn had no time to take in everything in the room but he spotted a pool table and quickly rolled himself underneath it. His phone pinged and he pulled it out of his pocket and quickly silenced it. Then he read the text that had just come in from Liam.

 

From MY JAAN: you don’t know this house as well as I do and that puts you at a disadvantage baby. You can’t really hide out for too long.

 

Zayn grinned and sent back Liam a series of emojis ranging from the winking face and blowing kisses face. He heard a notification sound and realized Liam was outside the game room. Zayn panicked realizing his hiding spot wasn’t so great. The doors to the room opened and Zayn looked out from under the table and saw Liam’s feet entering. He tried not to giggle behind his hand as he saw Liam look around the room and turn to walk to the other side. Zayn turned his head to see which way Liam was going but the man disappeared from sight and Zayn couldn’t see too well from underneath the pool table. Zayn was deciding whether to lay here or sneak out when his phone lit up with another text.

 

From MY JAAN: I have a feeling you may have gone outside and now this chase will end sooner cus you don’t know your way around the property yet. I’m coming for you baby boy <3

 

Zayn smirked realizing Liam hadn’t spotted him and would be going outside to look for him in vain. He waited quietly to hear the door close, that would indicate Liam leaving the room. He heard a noise in the distance and, thinking Liam had left, he turned to look out towards the side. He was about to roll out when suddenly his ankles were grabbed and he was dragged out from under the table. Zayn let out a blood curdling scream in sudden fear and then found himself face to face with Liam as he was dragged out.

 

“Gotchu,” Liam whispered with a smirk and pinned Zayn’s hands down beside him.

 

“Unhand me demon,” Zayn shrieked through laughs and tried to squirm out of Liam’s grasp.

 

“Not today angel,” Liam said and started tickling him viciously.

 

Zayn twisted his body and started screaming and laughing all at once. When Liam’s hands slowed down for a second Zayn kneed him lightly in the stomach and rolled away. Getting up to his feet he dashed around the pool table putting distance between themselves.

 

“You’re a violent little thing baby,” Liam huffed as he got up from the floor with a cheeky grin on his face. Zayn smiled widely back at him, sticking his tongue out. Liam started circling the table with a dangerous smirk on his face and Zayn started walking faster.

 

“Don’t come closer,” Zayn said while picking up the cue stick and pointing it at Liam across the table. “I’ll poke your eye out demon.”

 

In a flash, Liam grabbed the end of the stick and yanked it from Zayn’s hand to through it across the room. Zayn gasped and glanced at the fallen stick for a second before he noticed Liam run towards him. Zayn screamed again and jumped right on top of the table and fell on his back. Liam stood at the end of the table and grabbed a hold of Zayn’s ankle.

 

“Stay away!” Zayn laughed and grabbed a ball from the pool table to throw at Liam which the man caught easily. “The power of Christ compels you!”

 

“You’re not even Christian! You’re Muslim!” Liam laughed and climbed on top of the table to hover over Zayn.

 

“Yes, but you wouldn’t understand any prayers in Arabic,” Zayn laughed brightly and pushed himself further back along the table. Liam grabbed his hips with firm hands and pulled him back till their bodies were aligned and his face was right above Zayn’s.

 

“Say you yield,” Liam said with a smirk and twinkling eyes.

 

“No can do,” Zayn said but didn’t try squirming at all. He felt breathless as he stared into Liam’s eyes, so brown and warm and full of laughter. He was in love with his eyes and all the emotions they held. Emotions he held for Zayn, and that in itself was enough to knock the air from his lungs.

 

“Are you sure?” Liam said and ran his lips along Zayn’s neck in a tantalizing manner and nipped at the skin above his collarbone.

 

Zayn sighed and tightened his legs around Liam and tilted his neck to give the man more access. “Mmm I don’t know. I could still beat you if I tried. I’m a fast runner.”

 

“I could catch you easily. And right now, you’re trapped underneath me. May as well yield.” Liam kissed him below his jaw and ran his hand down Zayn’s body.

 

“And give into you? A demonic force?” Zayn grinned and tightened his limbs around Liam.

 

“Yeah if you do I have a surprise for you,” Liam whispered and kissed his forehead and nose in the gentlest manner.

 

“Alright. I concede. I yield. _Only..._ if you tell me that I can outrun you any day,” Zayn said while giving Liam an innocent smile accompanied by a slow blinking of his eyes that he knew drove Liam crazy.

 

Liam smiled softly and full of fond and kissed along the side of his face. “You can outrun me any day.”

 

Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and bit his lip on a smile that was threatening to break his face in half. Since yesterday and all the heavy emotions they went through, whenever Liam looked at him like _that_ , like Zayn was his entire world and so much more, Zayn felt like he could combust from smiling alone.

 

“Tell me I’m stronger than you,” Zayn whispered.

 

“You’re stronger than me,” Liam replied and kissed the corner of Zayn’s mouth so softly that Zayn felt butterflies erupt into a chaotic dance in his body.

 

“Tell me that I won,” Zayn smiled up at Liam. The man’s eyes gleamed with heart-wrenching affection and he sprinkled kisses along Zayn’s hairline and face.

 

“You won. You’ll always win. You’re my heart and my soul and I could never let you lose,” Liam said softly and finally pressed his lips to Zayn’s in a kiss that spoke of everything his eyes had been saying the past few minutes.

 

“I guess I did win,” Zayn whispered in between pecks Liam left on his lips.

 

Liam grinned and fell down beside Zayn on the pool table only to pull him back into his arms in a tight embrace and locked their lips in a tender kiss once again. “I came to get you earlier because I have something for you.”

 

“What?” Zayn asked, feeling distracted by Liam’s lips running along his jawline.  

 

“A letter.” Liam paused and kissed Zayn on his nose.

 

“A letter?” Zayn asked feeling confused.

 

“You gave me a letter last night and let me into your most vulnerable thoughts. It was such a beautiful letter my love and I decided to write one for you as well. Getting all romantic and stuff.” Liam smiled at him.

 

Zayn’s heart skipped a beat and he felt himself flush a little bit. It had taken a lot of courage to give Liam the letter last night, even though he had found it by accident first. But he was glad. Liam’s reaction had been so intense and more than Zayn had expected. And now he was giving Zayn a letter in return? This man…

 

“Can I read it?” Zayn asked feeling suddenly shy.

 

“I mean, that’s why I wrote it,” Liam teased.

 

“You’re awful,” Zayn said and smacked his arm.

 

“An awful man who just wrote you a love letter?” Liam raised an eyebrow.

 

“ _My_ awful man who just wrote me a love letter,” Zayn grinned and kissed Liam’s cheek.

 

“Alright,” Liam laughed. “Come on it’s upstairs.” Liam jumped off the table and offered his hand for Zayn to take. Zayn grinned and motioned Liam to turn around. The man shook his head with a smile and Zayn climbed onto his back for a piggyback ride and planted a kiss on Liam’s cheek.

 

“Take me to our destination loyal demon,” Zayn said and tightened his limbs around Liam.

 

“A demon that’s about to possess your very soul angel,” Liam squeezed his ass. Zayn smiled and buried his face into Liam’s neck. Two days of so much happiness. Immeasurable happiness and Zayn wondered if it was all real and if life would always remain like this. Because he truly felt like the luckiest person alive.

 

“A demon who I love more than life itself,” Zayn murmured and kissed Liam’s neck.

 

“This demon would rip through heaven to find his angel. Because he loves him very much,” Liam said and kissed the arm Zayn had wrapped around his neck.

 

“You’d piss off God that way though,” Zayn mused.

 

“Damn straight I would,” Liam said and Zayn started laughing as they reached the top floor.

 

“And it would all be for you,” Liam stated and set Zayn down on the sofa in the lounge and fell down beside him.

 

“Silly man… where’s my letter?” Zayn asked.

 

“A kiss first and then you can get it,” Liam grinned cheekily.

 

Zayn sighed and tugged Liam forward by grabbing onto the chain that held the key for the Cartier bracelet on his wrist. He intended to give Liam a quick kiss but the man grabbed his hips and deepened the kiss, setting a fire in Zayn’s gut.

 

“Jaan,” Zayn sighed. “Letter first or I may lose my mind and forget about it.”

“I like the effect I have on you,” Liam smirked and touched his red cheeks.

 

“Shut up… pagal aadmi,” Zayn mumbled and grinned when Liam flicked his nose. “Letter?”

 

“Alright alright,” Liam said and pulled it out from below the table. He handed Zayn the letter who hastily ripped the envelope open and pulled out a piece of paper. He stared at it confused then turned it over and stared at the blank sides.

 

“There’s nothing on here,” He said confusedly.

 

“I know,” Liam grinned devilishly. “I have the letter somewhere but I’ll give it you tonight. I just wanted you to know about it and have something to think about to keep you sane throughout your family dinner. I know you’re nervous. And besides, I enjoy teasing you like this.”

 

Zayn stared at him silently for a few seconds then smacked Liam’s arm. “You really are the devil Li! I can’t believe you!” He got up the from the sofa annoyed and stalked away from the room listening to Liam’s laugh in the background.

 

 

 

**

 

It was much later in the day and Zayn was back at home and sitting in his room with Harry who had come over to give Zayn moral support for tonight’s dinner.

 

“Liam will be here in about two hours and I can’t stop panicking,” Zayn chewed stressfully on the end of a carrot which his mom had shoved into his hand after he panic-ate a half carton of ice cream.

 

“You know usually boyfriend-meeting-the-parents situations go awkwardly and induce a lot of stress but in your case I don’t think you should worry. Liam is very charming and excellent at dealing with people. Plus your family is very chill and I’m pretty sure they’ll behave,” Harry said as he drew dicks all over Zayn’s whiteboard above his desk. 

 

“Are you kidding me? Doniya Baji and Waliyha will for sure embarrass the fuck out of me on purpose and Baba might even give Liam a ‘talk.’ Haz I’m freaking out!” Zayn threw the carrot at Harry’s back and fell backwards.

 

“Well,” Harry began eating the same carrot and came and sat down. “That is true as well but you won’t know till he gets here. But Liam loves you so it’s not like he’d run away scared.”

 

“I know,” Zayn sighed and got up to change his shirt. “He’s amazing but what if Maa and Baba really get put off by the age difference thing again after meeting Liam? And they don’t want me dating him anymore? I would die Harry.”

 

“You won’t die babes relax before you give yourself an aneurysm. Tell Liam nice artwork by the way.” Harry pointed at Zayn’s love bite covered torso and raised an eyebrow.

 

“Oh,” Zayn blushed and hastily pulled on his shirt. “What can I say? It was an intense two days.” Zayn smiled at Harry who rolled his eyes.

 

“Yeah rub it in my face why don’t you? You’re getting dick regularly and I’ve been in a dry spell for ages,” Harry moaned.

 

“Well as queen Ari says… he’s giving me that good shit, that make me not quit,” Zayn sang with a laugh and started dancing to annoy Harry who threw a pillow at him, “that good shit... he gives it to me everyday, everyday, everyday,” Zayn cackled loudly as Harry groaned.  Zayn was still singing the song when Harry suddenly choked and looked behind Zayn with wide eyes. Zayn spun around confused and fell flat on his ass with shock when he saw his dad standing there with a pained and awkward expression.

 

“B-Baba!” Zayn stuttered out. He could feel his cheeks heating up and he knew they were probably a deep crimson.

 

“Your Maa needs you for a second Zayn, do you mind coming downstairs?” Yaser said and gave Zayn a hand to pull him up. But he was avoiding Zayn’s gaze out of sheer awkwardness which confirmed that he had heard Zayn signing about being dicked down every day. Zayn wanted to die that very second.

 

“Y-yeah I’ll be there in a second,” Zayn stammered and Yaser nodded and walked away. As soon as he was gone Harry erupted into a fit of laughter and rolled onto the floor in hysterics.

 

“You should have seen your dad’s face when he first walked in and heard you! Iconic!” Harry choked out.

 

“Shut the fuck up. Oh my God I want to die,” Zayn covered his face and groaned. “Now when Liam comes over Baba probably won’t be able to look at him straight either given the image I’ve painted.”

 

“Classic ZayZay, fucking up again,” Harry cackled and threw his arms around Zayn to kiss his cheek.

 

“I will literally disown you,” Zayn elbowed him hard in the stomach. He was about to shove Harry off himself when his mom called for him again. “Coming!” Zayn yelled and ran down the stairs with Harry trailing after him.

 

“Yes Maa?” Zayn asked as he walked into the kitchen to find his mom running the food processor.

 

“Jaan what does Liam like to eat? I have a few desi dishes but I also made pasta to have something basic as well,” Tricia said.

 

“You mean something simple for white taste buds,” Zayn grinned and Tricia laughed. “It’s fine Maa, he loves Pakistani food anyways so he’ll like all this.”

 

“Well can you call him and ask him if he’s okay with spicy food?” Tricia asked.

 

“Mild spice is fine,” Zayn said and settled down on the kitchen table across from Harry who was eating grapes from a bunch.

 

“Well can you ask him if he would prefer to have a light dinner or a heavy dinner because I don’t want to be underprepared or over prepared.”

“Maa you don’t have to stress so much he’ll be fine,” Zayn said.

 

“I like to have everything perfect Zee so call him and ask him,” Tricia said sternly.

 

Zayn sighed and pulled out his phone to call Liam. Harry was waggling his eyebrows suggestively and Zayn threw an apple from the fruit bowl at him.

 

Tricia was watching him from the stove and so was Harry from across the table. Zayn felt awkward under all the eyes on him. After a few rings, Liam picked up and his smooth voice filed Zayn’s ear.

 

“Miss me already angel?” Liam asked over the phone. Zayn immediately turned a deep red colour and Harry smirked from across the table.

 

“Hi Liam, How’s your evening?” Zayn said in very formal voice that came across so strange, even his mom gave him a funny look.

 

“Good,” Liam chuckled and Zayn could hear clicking in the background which could only mean that Liam was working.

 

“Nice to hear,” Zayn continued, just as awkward and formal. He glanced over to see his mom watching him with an amused smile and Harry trying hard to contain his giggles.

 

“Shut up,” Zayn muttered at Harry.

 

“What?” Liam asked.

 

“Not you Jaan- Liam!” Zayn hurried out the last bit to cover up the nickname.

 

“Is everything okay Zayn?” Liam asked.

 

“Y-yes. Umm, my mom would like to know what you like for dinner… would you prefer a heavy or light dinner and are you ok with spicy stuff?” Zayn stuttered out.

“Well my favourite meal is her son,” Liam answered casually and Zayn accidentally kneed the table when he jumped in shock and hurt himself.

 

“Fu- ok ok… yes umm… light dinner it is,” he coughed and covered up his panicked tone. “Light dinner Maa and keep the spice mild.” Zayn then ran from the kitchen and quickly closed himself in the coat closet. “Li! I was in the kitchen with my mom and she was watching me talk to you! You had me so embarrassed.”

 

“Sorry,” Liam laughed lightly. “But I doubt your mom heard anything.”  
  
“My face is enough,” Zayn sighed. “When will you be here? I’m so nervous.”

“An hour or a little more probably. I’m just finishing something up at the office. Now you said your parents don’t drink so if I brought flowers or anything other than alcohol they’d be okay with that right?”

“You don’t have to,” Zayn said but smiled at the thought of Liam being all guest-like and bringing over something for his parents.

 

“I want to. Now unfortunately I have to run but I’ll see you soon okay? Stay calm and collected, deep breaths, it’ll all be okay.” Liam assured him.

 

“I know…. I love you,” Zayn said.

 

“I love you too-“ Liam was saying but the closet door was pulled open and for a second time, Zayn fell back on the ground and stared up at his dad.

 

“What exactly are you doing in there Zayn?” Yaser asked.

 

“It’s a good spot for the Wi-Fi,” Zayn said hurriedly and ran back to the kitchen. He settled back onto the table and his mom and Harry both gave him suspicious smiles.

 

“What?” Zayn kept his tone nonchalant.

 

“Jaan?” Harry snickered.

 

“I will end you Styles,” Zayn mustered a glare in his best friend’s direction.

 

“I think it’s sweet that you’re already calling him jaan,” Tricia said with a soft smile. “Although, why were you talking to him so formally… like he’s your school’s principal or something?”

 

“Daddy wants him to be polite,” Harry said between coughs.  Zayn heard and picked up a plastic cup and hurled it at Harry.

 

“Shut up or go home Harry,” Zayn whisper-screamed at the boy who snorted with laughter.

 

“Stop being rude to guests Zayn,” Tricia gave him a warning as she began preparing salad.

 

“He’s not a guest! He lives here! You and Baba have pretty much unofficially adopted him!” Zayn complained.

 

“Adopted who?” Yaser asked as he walked into the kitchen.

 

“Me,” Harry replied with an angelic smile.

 

“Oh didn’t you know? It’s always been official. Anne signed the papers years ago,” Yaser grinned and sat down beside them.

 

“And here I’ve been living at the wrong house for years,” Harry sighed dramatically. “When I’m actually a Malik.”

 

Zayn rolled his eyes but a smile twitched at his lips. He messed up Harry’s artfully styled curls which made the boy huff in annoyance. Zayn kissed his cheek quickly and started chopping onions which his mom shoved in his direction.

 

“And what time will Liam be here?” Yaser asked.

 

“An hour.” Zayn looked up from the onions to see Yaser watching him carefully. “Something wrong Baba?”

 

“Nothing,” Yaser said then smiled gently. “You look happy these days.”

 

Zayn blushed and Harry started cooing. “Thanks Baba,” he mumbled.

 

“It’s love. Did you see his love bracelet?” Harry asked and tapped Zayn’s wrist where the Cartier bracelet sat.

 

Yaser raised his eyebrows questioningly and Zayn quickly tucked his wrist away. “It’s just a bracelet.”

 

“Looks like it’s more than that.” Yaser grinned and got up to help Tricia take the silverware out of the cupboards. Zayn sighed, grateful for his dad never prying too much.

 

“Harry I’m gonna need you to tone down your innuendos and other sneaky comments when Liam is over,” Zayn shot him a warning look.

 

“Where’s the fun in that?” Harry asked with a teasing smile.

 

“It won’t be fun when they discover your body buried in the park.” Zayn smacked Harry’s hand with the back of his knife

 

“OK OK. Geez don’t cut my fingers. I need them,” Harry pulled his hand back and held it close to his chest in protection.

 

Zayn grinned and inched the knife towards Harry as a joke who darted up from his chair. Harry tossed some onion peels at Zayn’s head then ran from the room. Zayn yelled after him and shook the peels from his hair. He glanced down at his phone and noticed that there was about 45 minutes till Liam would get here and his stomach started rolling with nerves again. He really wanted to get this evening over with because just thinking constantly about every outcome was going to kill him. He hoped it went smoothly because the ideas his brain was conjuring were the opposite of that.

 

**

 

“I’ll get it!” Safaa yelled as the doorbell rang. She started running towards the door but Zayn jumped up from the sofa and caught her in his arms.

 

“No Safoo I’ll get it and you wait here.” Zayn set her down on the sofa then quickly ran towards the front door knowing it would be Liam. When he got to the door, he paused and took a few deep breaths. He wiped his sweaty palms on the sides of his jeans then grabbed the door handle and pulled it open to reveal Liam. Liam had been looking out towards the street and when the door opened he turned towards Zayn and a heart-warming smile spread across his face.

 

“Someone looks beautiful,” Liam said and let his eyes rove over Zayn’s form. Zayn smiled feeling his cheeks flush at the compliment. He shut the door behind himself and stepped onto the porch to throw himself into Liam’s arms who caught him with surprise.

 

“I though the idea was to be in there?” Liam chuckled and stroked Zayn’s hair while dropping a kiss to his head.

 

“I know, but I needed you to myself for a second. I missed you,” Zayn murmured and tightened his arms around Liam.

 

“I missed you too my love,” Liam’s voice was dripping with affection. He set something he had in his hand down and lifted Zayn off the ground to shower kisses over his face. Zayn smiled and moved back to face Liam. He ran his fingers through Liam’s neatly trimmed scruff and kissed his jaw. Liam gave him an amused grin and pinched his chin. Zayn sighed and tucked his face into the man’s neck to inhale his cologne and settle his nerves.

 

“So fair warning. My family including my older sister and her kids will be here. So will Harry but you already know him. My family is pretty great but they can also have a million and one questions especially my mom and older sister. Be prepared. And the kids might be intrigued because you’re a new face but-“

 

“Zayn. Sweetheart. Take a deep breath and relax. I’ll be fine. Your family sounds wonderful and I know that they love you more than anything. When we have that one most important thing in common I’m sure everything else will go smoothly.” Liam cupped his face and kissed him chastely once, then twice and finally thrice in the way he always did to get Zayn to relax.

 

“You charmer,” Zayn mumbled. “You’ll be fine.”

 

“I just need you to relax for me OK baby?” Liam stroked his jawline and gave him a fond smile. “I love you Zayn and I’m sure your family will be fine.”

 

“OK.” Zayn whispered and wrapped his hands around Liam’s neck to kiss him again. He ran his fingers down Liam’s neck and when he touched the chain that he knew belonged to the Cartier key, he smiled and deepened the kiss.

 

“Mmm. You plan on staying out here because I might not be able to stop soon,” Liam murmured against his lips and lightly sucked on the bottom one.

 

“I-“ Zayn started but the door opened behind him and someone cleared their throat.

 

“While I would love a live sex show, your family is getting impatient.” Zayn spun his head to see Harry standing there with a massive grin. “You should be glad I volunteered to come look for you because your dad was planning on coming out.”

“Oh fuck,” Zayn jumped down from Liam’s arms but continued to grip his hand.

 

“Nice to see you again Liam,” Harry grinned cheekily. Liam laughed and patted Harry’s arm then grabbed the bag off the ground.

 

“You’ve been missed Harry,” Liam said.

 

“Not really,” Zayn muttered and Harry flicked his forehead. “What’s in the bag Li?” Zayn asked after shoving Harry.

 

“Flowers and cupcakes,” Liam said as they entered the house. Zayn shut the door and smiled at Liam. As they took their shoes off Zayn took the bag from Liam and kissed his cheek.

 

“You didn’t have to, but thanks jaan,” Zayn said in a soft voice. Liam cupped his cheek and kissed his forehead.

 

“Anything for you angel,” he replied. Zayn smiled but felt butterflies crowd his stomach as laughter from the living room spilled into the hallway. He really just wanted to escape and hide in his bed but he needed to be brave and introduce the two most important parts of his life to each other.

 

“Come on,” Zayn took Liam’s hand and led him towards the living room. When they reached the room, Zayn walked in first feeling his heart pound and Liam walked in after him. His parents, Safaa, Doniya and her little ones were in the room. They all looked up when Zayn and Liam entered which made Zayn’s hands start shaking with anxiety.

 

“M-Maa, Baba, Don Baji… this is Liam,” Zayn gulped and stepped to the side as Liam stepped forward. Zayn looked at his face and Liam shot him a comforting smile before he turned to Zayn’s parents with a charming smile. Zayn felt dizzy just from staring at it.

 

“Pleased to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Malik,” Liam shook both of their hands one by one.

 

“Nice to meet you too Liam. But you can just call us Tricia and Yaser,” Tricia smiled warmly at Liam and patted his arm.

 

“Will do. I brought these for you by the way.” He pointed at the stuff Zayn was setting down. “And Doniya I presume?” Liam asked and shook Doniya’s hand.

 

“Yes. Nice to finally meet the man my baby bro is spending all his time with,” Doniya smiled teasingly which made Liam laugh in return.

 

“I apologize for keeping him away. It seems that I can never have enough of Zayn’s company. He’s just that wonderful.” Liam gave Zayn a slight wink. Zayn bit his lip trying to fight a smile and turned his eyes to the carpet instead.

 

“I see the charm Zayn raves so much about,” Doniya smirked as they settled down, her beside Liam. Zayn carefully placed himself beside his mom so he wouldn’t have any chance to mess up by being too close to Liam. Although the man was across from him and shooting Zayn an amused grin.

 

“Oh my God,” Zayn huffed and covered his face.

 

“Is that so?” Liam asked and raised his eyebrows.

 

“Don’t embarrass him now. That’s my job,” Harry said as he sat down beside Zayn and wrapped his arms around him.

 

“Do you want to die?” Zayn glared at him but leaned into Harry’s side for comfort anyways.

 

“And who is this?” Liam asked and smiled softly at Mina who was hiding between Yaser’s legs where he sat on the single armchair. She was blinking shyly at Liam but gripping onto Yaser’s legs fiercely. Safaa also sat on the armrest of Yaser’s chair and was watching Liam with a curious gaze.

 

“This is Mina. Doniya’s daughter.” Yaser stroked his grand-daughter’s hair fondly and kissed her hair. “She’s usually a riot but quite shy today. And this is Safaa, Zayn’s youngest sister. She’s usually our loudest member too but seems off duty today.” Yaser’s comment made everyone laugh and Safaa huffed.

 

“Zayn’s told me all about you guys. He says that the little mermaid is your favourite princess Mina and that Mulan is yours Safaa. Great choices I’ve got to say. Although mine is Jasmine. Reminds me of someone,” Liam threw Zayn a smile which made the latter cough and start inspecting his nails.

 

“Jasmine is Zayn Bhaiya’s too!” Safaa gasped and hopped down from the chair. “Can I show you the drawing he made for me of all the princesses?”

 

“Of course you can sweetheart,” Liam smiled encouragingly and she ran off with Mina on her heels who flashed Liam a shy toothy grin first.

 

“You’re great with kids,” Doniya noted.

 

“I have a niece. Lily. She’s just the sweetest although I do wish I saw her more often,” Liam replied.

 

“So, Zayn tells me you used to be a footballer? And now you run your family’s corporation?” Yaser asked. Zayn felt himself visibly relax because with talks of work at least it would move away from him and anything uncomfortable. His parents and Doniya talked to Liam about his work for a while and everyone seemed completely at ease, as if they had been doing it for a while. Zayn chewed on his thumb-nail for most of the time as he watched everyone quietly and nervously. He didn’t feel calm enough to join the conversation just yet but he felt happy as he watched his family and the love of his life get on easily.

 

“My husband is the one who told me you were a footballer since he was a massive fan of yours. Still follows you on social media. He’s not here tonight because he’s working but unfortunately that’s what led to us accidentally finding out about you and Zayn. God knows when he would have told us himself,” Doniya gave Zayn a look.

 

“I realize my work, past and present, might have made you hesitant about me dating Zayn. And tabloids with their gossip articles don’t make it any easier. But I assure you, I would never comprise Zayn’s happiness, health or safety. He means way too much to me. I love him and I always will. I hope you know that,” Liam’s tone was sincere and he was looking at every member of Zayn’s family in the room. Zayn held his breath hoping that his family wouldn’t say something to contradict that or suddenly announce they weren’t too sure of their son dating Liam. But Tricia was smiling gently at Liam and Doniya was grinning at Zayn. Yaser looked serious for a few moments but he nodded at Liam.

 

“You seem like a good man Liam and if my son trusts you, I’m going to trust his judgement and put my faith in you. Now shall we have dinner?” Yaser ended by giving Liam a smile.

 

“Yes, we can continue talking over dinner. I hope you’re hungry Liam,” Tricia said and got up.

 

“I am,” Liam affirmed and got up as well. Everyone else was getting up as well when Waliyha came into the room.

 

“Is Zayn’s boyfriend here yet or are we still waiting?” Her eyes were glued to her screen as she was busy texting but when everyone grew silent she looked up.

 

“He’s literally standing in front of you,” Harry laughed at her.

 

“Wh-“ She spun her head and her eyes widened when she caught sight of Liam. She seemed jostled and speechless as she just stared at Liam with her mouth slightly agape. Liam smiled at her and raised an eyebrow when she continued to stare at him silently.

 

Zayn walked forward and nudged her to get her to break out of her daze. She shut her mouth and blinked rapidly at Liam.

 

“You’re Zayn’s boyfriend?” She choked out. “H-how?”

 

“Waliyha!” Tricia scolded. She shot Liam an apologetic look for her daughter’s rudeness.

 

“But he’s so hot,” she blurted out then clamped her hand over her mouth as everyone went silent. Liam seemed to be holding back a smile and Zayn wanted to drown in embarrassment.

 

“Wali!” Zayn hissed and Waliyha turned a deep red colour then turned and bounded out of the room.

 

“That was amazing,” Harry laughed and Doniya started giggling with him.

 

“I apologize for my kids Liam.” Tricia shook her head.

 

“Don’t apologize it’s alright,” Liam chuckled amusedly.

 

“I think dinner…” Yaser said, a little thrown off. He led everyone to the dining room while Doniya grabbed Zayn’s arm to pull him back.

 

“Well done Zee. He’s even more gorgeous in person not to mention charming and funny and intelligent-“

 

“Do all of you have crushes on my boyfriend now? You’re married Don Baji. Remember Amir bhai?” Zayn cut her rant off. Doniya smiled at him and ruffled his hair.

 

“Possessive much?” She teased.

 

“Very.” Zayn tried to muster an angry look as best as possible.

 

“You look like an angry kitten whose toy was just snatched’” Doniya said affectionately and kissed his cheek. “Now c’mon.”

She took his hand and walked over to the dining room where everyone was settled down. Safaa and Mina had returned with more than just one drawing and were breathlessly explaining them to Liam in excited voices. Liam was leaning down to their level and listening with full interest and smiling at them every so often. He even asked them questions which made them bounce with happiness and flushed cheeks. God, even the little ones were besotted with him.

 

Zayn smiled at the sight and sat down in the chair beside Liam. The man turned and gave him the breath-taking smile Zayn was so in love with.

 

“Hi baby,” Liam said in a low voice and took Zayn’s hand to kiss the back of it.

 

“Hi,” Zayn replied with a wide grin of his own. His parents were in the kitchen and Doniya and Harry were looking at something on Harry’s phone so Zayn leaned forward and kissed Liam’s cheek.

 

“I love you,” Zayn murmured and kissed rested his head on Liam’s shoulder for a second while the man leaned down to kiss his forehead.

 

“I love you too, you beautiful angel,” Liam whispered.

 

“AWWWW!” Harry yelled in an exaggerated tone. Zayn looked up to see Harry giving him a shit-eating grin from across the table and Doniya also smiling warmly at him.

 

“Shut up Haz,” Zayn said but couldn’t help his grin as Liam laughed and kissed his temple.

 

“Mr. Liam are you Zayn Mamoo’s husband?” Mina asked curiously as Doniya helped her onto a chair.

 

“Minnie!” Zayn said in an exasperated tone.

 

“Not husband just yet sweetheart but boyfriend and soulmate for sure,” Liam said to her gently. Zayn flushed after hearing the words Liam had said. He didn’t know whether to focus on ‘husband yet’ or soulmate. Liam was going to kill him prematurely for sure. Zayn had always known that.

 

“Safaa jaan go call Waliyha down,” Tricia said as she walked into the room carrying a steaming platter of rice and Yaser followed her with the salad.

 

“She said she would rather die than embarrass herself in front of Zayn’s boyfriend again,” Safaa announced calmly and continued to colour in her book.

 

“Tell her to stop being dramatic,” Tricia rolled her eyes and sent Safaa off who sighed and went off yelling Waliyha’s name.

 

“I hope you like Pakistani food and are OK with a lot of spices. Zayn said you were,” Tricia said and poured Liam some water.

 

“Don’t worry I love Pakistani food all thanks to my assistant Ameera who is Pakistani. When I first hired her and would ask her to bring us lunch, she’d always buy the spiciest Pakistani food and told me to ‘get over my white taste buds’ and learn to appreciate flavour. I’ve become accustomed to spices now,” Liam laughed.

 

“Well be prepared, my wife’s mild spices are most people’s extreme level of spice,” Yaser said with a warning smile and passed Liam the chicken karahi.

 

“I’m sure her cooking is superb,” Liam flashed Tricia an appreciative smile who grinned back at him.

 

After Safaa and a reluctant and red faced Waliyha joined them, they all began dinner. Conversation flowed easily as Liam asked Yaser about his teaching job which prompted Yaser to talk passionately about his career. Zayn watched the two most important men in his life interact with ease and smiled at his food. He felt a nudge on his foot and he looked up to see Harry giving him a soft smile. He mouthed ‘you good?’ which Zayn nodded at. He felt a squeeze on his hand and turned to see Liam still in conversation with his dad but he was holding onto Zayn’s hand comfortingly. Every person that mattered to him in this world was around this table having dinner and laughing and Zayn had truly never felt happier.

 

 

**

 

Liam finished washing his hands and dried them off on the towel hung on the side. Dinner had just finished and Zayn’s mom was now making coffee for them. Liam had thoroughly enjoyed her food and he had honestly enjoyed being around Zayn’s family. Zayn’s kind, intelligent and witty nature reflected in his family too and they were all amazing company. Tricia was warm and kind and constantly sending Zayn looks of pure affection, Doniya was hilarious and sharp which was given since she was a lawyer, Waliyha seemed sweet although she barely even spoke or met Liam’s eyes after the living room incident. The kids were adorable and hilariously smart for their ages. Yaser was the only one Liam wasn’t totally sure about yet. Although he seemed kind and welcoming, he also seemed to send Liam deeply probing looks every now and then as if he was trying to figure something out. Zayn got his kind eyes and steady demeanour from his dad, that much was obvious. Liam just wanted to be sure that he had convinced Yaser how much he loved his son before he left.

 

Liam left the bathroom and walked into the living room which was empty. He could hear voices in the kitchen and presumed Zayn’s family was still cleaning up after dinner. Liam pulled out his phone and was about to unlock it when wiry arms wrapped around him from behind.

 

“Guess who?” Zayn murmured.

 

“Hmm. Dunno… Waliyha?” Liam asked teasingly.

 

“Liam!” Zayn bit him lightly on his shoulder. “I can’t believe my sister has a crush on you. Unbelievable.”

 

Liam fell onto the sofa and pulled Zayn into his lap. He wrapped his arm around Zayn’s waist and tugged him close to his chest. Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and leaned his head into the crook of Liam’s neck, just breathing him in.

 

“She seems like a nice kid. In fact, your whole family is wonderful Zayn. I see where you get your sweet personality. Your family is beautiful inside and out like you,” Liam said and kissed Zayn on top of his head. He felt the boy smile against his neck and after a few moments he lifted his head to give Liam a sweet smile.

 

“Thank you. I’m so glad you like them, and they totally like you too. I don’t know why I was so worried,” Zayn hummed and kissed the corner of Liam’s mouth.

 

“Oh c’mon baby if you didn’t worry so much, the world would fall apart,” Liam teased.

 

“You’re mean.” Zayn grumbled. Liam smirked and squeezed his hips then kissed him.

 

“I’m only kidding angel. Your worrying is just your way of coping with stressful situations. And pulling them off perfectly in the end,” Liam ran his fingers through the thick of hair at the back of Zayn’s head and leaned forward to kiss him again. He couldn’t help himself since Zayn’s lips were always so plump, red and shiny. But he knew he should have some restraint since they were in Zayn’s family’s house.

 

“You always taste so damn sweet,” Liam muttered and licked into Zayn’s mouth.

 

“It’s ‘cus I just had half a cupcake,” Zayn giggled and pulled back to smile at Liam with his nose scrunched and tongue caught between his teeth.

 

“You’re fucking adorable,” Liam grinned. “And why am I not surprised?”

 

“Mamoo I got a popsicle!” Mina came running into the room with a red popsicle in her mouth and when she saw them she stopped short and stared at them.

 

“What are you doing?” She asked with innocent confusion.

 

“Nothing,” Zayn hurried out and scrambled out of Liam’s lap. He picked Mina up and kissed her chubby cheeks. “So you like your popsicle huh? I bought them just for you.”

 

“Naani Ami told me,” Mina smiled and continued to suck on the popsicle. “Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome meri jaan.” Zayn kissed her then set her down so she could grab the TV remote and turn it on to the Disney channel.

 

“Mamoo… Ali is waking up,” Mina pointed at the bassinet where the baby was sleeping. Since Liam had arrived, Ali had been sleeping peacefully but now he seemed to be stirring and making little sounds.

 

Liam watched as Zayn stepped up to the bassinet and picked up the baby who was wearing a onesie covered in rabbits. Ali had a shock of raven hair like most of Zayn’s family and wide eyes that gazed up at Zayn as he lifted him up. Liam felt something warm rush through his chest as Zayn smiled softly at the baby and murmured something in Urdu. He kissed the baby on his head then picked up a pacifier to pop it into his mouth. He tucked the baby into his chest and kissed him a few more times then turned towards Liam and smiled.

 

“You didn’t meet the youngest member of our family. This is Ali, my little nephew.” Zayn sat down beside him and Liam leaned down to look at Ali’s face who looked blissful as he lay curled against Zayn’s chest. He was sucking hungrily on his pacifier and watching Liam with sleepy wide eyes.

 

“He’s beautiful,” Liam murmured and rubbed a hand on Ali’s tiny back.

 

“Isn’t he?” Zayn asked proudly and kissed Ali’s soft head again. The baby made a soft sound and Zayn cooed at him and rocked him slowly while rubbing his chest. Liam had his arm stretched across the back of the sofa and he rubbed Zayn’s arm. Zayn Leaned his head against Liam’s chest and continued to hum for the baby who was already blinking back to sleep. Liam couldn’t help the love he was feeling from watching Zayn like this, and kissed his forehead which made the boy smile at him.

 

“Look at you guys all domestic,” Harry teased as he walked in with Safaa piggy-back riding on him and Doniya following.

 

“Shush Haz,” Zayn said but without any malice. He was still watching Ali with the most affectionate expression Liam had ever seen.

 

“My little jaan is awake,” Doniya cooed and took Ali from Zayn. “He needs his bottle. I’ll be back guys.” She took the baby and shouldered her bag to leave the room.

 

“Popsicles Bhaiya!” Safaa tossed Zayn one and shyly offered Liam one as well.

 

“Thanks cutie but I’m OK.” Liam grinned at her.

 

Safaa smiled bashfully at him again then climbed onto the sofa beside Zayn who was unwrapping his own popsicle. His attention was on the TV where some random Disney channel show was on for Mina’s sake. Liam didn’t intend to stare but Zayn licked the red popsicle and Liam felt something spark in his gut. He watched as Zayn innocently licked and sucked the popsicle without a single clue of what he was doing to Liam. When Liam felt ready to grab Zayn and go somewhere private, the boy turned to him to say something and stopped when he saw Liam’s face. The man knew his eyes must be dark with desire. Zayn’s own eyes widened as he looked at Liam’s expression and he flushed a little. Then he smiled slowly as he understood what was happening and brought the popsicle up to his mouth to suck it slowly.

 

“Zayn,” Liam muttered.

 

“Li,” Zayn whispered innocently and licked around the top. Liam opened his mouth to say something but Zayn sucked the whole popsicle into his mouth.

 

“Fuck baby,” Liam groaned.

 

Zayn lowered the popsicle and licked his shiny red lips. Liam totally forgot where he was and was about to yank Zayn into his lip and kiss him breathless.

 

“What the capital F are you guys doing?” Harry asked from across the room.

 

Zayn pulled back as if he had been burnt and Liam glanced over to where Harry was sitting in the armchair and looking at them with raised eyebrows. Liam cleared his throat and leaned away from Zayn. He looked at the kids and noticed that they were thankfully focused on the television. Only Harry had noticed whatever they had almost done and Liam rubbed a hand over his face to clear his mind.

 

“Got carried away,” Zayn murmured and he was blushing fiercely.

 

“Mhm. Sure,” Harry said in a judgemental tone.

 

“Liam?” Yaser stepped into the room holding two mugs of coffee. “Do you want to join me for coffee in the backyard? The weather is nice and I want to talk to you for a minute.”

 

“W-why not here?” Zayn asked panicked.

 

“It’s fine Zayn. We’ll be back.” Liam squeezed his hand then got up to follow Yaser. They passed Tricia and Waliyha in the hallway who were having a hushed conversation. When she saw him, Waliyha blushed and ducked her head. Tricia smiled warmly at him which Liam returned. When they walked into the backyard, Yaser gestured to the patio chairs and Liam sat down.

 

“So,” Yaser said and settled down. “Liam… I don’t want to seem like I’m interrogating you or hounding you. I don’t want this to sound like those typical ‘if you hurt my son I’ll hurt you’ talks because this is much more than that. I had that conversation with Doniya’s husband when she introduced him to us and I only gave him a simple warning because Doniya is like a lion. No one messes with her and I knew she was capable of protecting her heart. But Zayn….” Yaser smiled fondly at just saying his son’s name. He turned and glanced at Liam.

 

“You know when Zayn was younger my mom would call him ‘choti parchai.’ It means little shadow. As in my shadow. He used to be like my shadow, following me everywhere even if I was just leaving the room. He would cry bloody murder when I left for work. Tricia used to get upset thinking he loved me more than her but it was just that unexplainable thing where a child sometimes attaches to one parent more.” Liam nodded at Yaser and smiled himself as well as he imagined a little Zayn, all big hazel eyes and fluffy black hair following Yaser around.

 

“When Zayn was two, Tricia was working at a women’s homeless shelter that needed her to do night shifts a lot. I used to be home with the kids and that’s when Zayn and I got super attached. I love all my kids equally but I’ve always been extra protective about Zayn because he’s always been such a sweet and sensitive child. And he also got diagnosed with anxiety so young.” Yaser sighed and turned to look at Liam with a serious expression.

 

“When Zayn had his first anxiety attack he was so afraid and he was crying so much I felt like I was breaking inside. He told me he was scared and I told him I would always be there for him. That I would give my life for him. That stands true till I die,” Yaser affirmed.

 

“I don’t doubt it at all. Zayn creates such a feeling in a person that you feel like you would rather die than let a single scratch come on him,” Liam said softly.

 

Yaser smiled and gazed at Liam for a few seconds. “Zayn wears his heart on his sleeve. He loves so much and so fiercely. He’s so kind and so pure that I thank God every day in my prayers for giving me this son who has a heart of gold. I treasure the love he gives me and guard it with everything I have.  I hope you will do the same for him. He deserves nothing less but for someone to love him just as unconditionally as he loves them. Zayn loves you so much Liam. I see it in his eyes. It consumes his soul. And I hope you love him just as much if not more.” Yaser set his cup down and watched Liam closely.

 

“Zayn to me is everything beautiful in this world. He’s beautiful on the outside yes, so so beautiful. But those eyes that I love so much, they show me his soul which is a million times more beautiful. Yaser your son is the purest person I have ever met. Since the second I met him I was constantly in awe of how intelligent, kind and wonderful he was. I couldn’t help but fall in love with him. And every day I look at him and fall in love more and more. And I realize that I want to protect him and treasure him and his love for as long as I live. He’s my everything. My entire world, my universe, my life. I promise you that,” Liam finished off and gazed at Yaser with sincerity in his eyes. He hoped Yaser understood just how literally he had meant everything. He loved Zayn more than anything in this world and would guard his love just as Yaser had explained.

 

“You have very honest eyes,” Yaser mused. “I believe you because your eyes light up whenever you mention my son’s name. That spark shows me everything you said through your words. And that’s something I’ve only ever seen in my own eyes and my wife’s eyes.”

 

“Unconditional and honest love reflects in your eyes so I’ve heard,” Liam smiled at him.

 

“Truly. I’m not trying to be harsh Liam, you honestly seem like a good man. It’s just that things haven’t always been easy for Zayn. With his anxiety and the bullying in school by some racist assholes, certain situations made him more withdrawn and shy than he already was. When he came out to us he had his biggest panic attack ever right in front of our eyes. I felt so heartbroken in that moment because my son had thought I wouldn’t accept him. That night me and Tricia held him as he cried and we comforted him and reassured him that we loved him no matter what. After that I’ve always been more protective of him especially around some people who reacted negatively when they heard about Zayn.” Liam nodded along but he felt like he was breaking inside. His Zayn had been through so much bullshit in school and with people who wanted to hurt him for who he was. Liam wanted to personally meet and punch every one of these assholes.

 

“We had these family friends who had a son who was friends with Zayn. When they found out Zayn was gay they said some awful things to us. Then they made sure their son stopped hanging out with Zayn. We never told him but just explained that they wanted their son to focus on school. They moved away not long after which made things easy. But I protected Zayn from that heartbreak and I will try my best to protect him from every heartbreak. But rest assured, if you ever hurt him or break his heart, I will not spare you. I don’t care about your status or your power when it comes to my son. I will raise hell for him.” Yaser finished his sentence and drained his coffee simultaneously.

 

“Yaser if you had said anything less than that I would be concerned. I would expect no less from you. Zayn is lucky to have such wonderful parents like you and Tricia. And on my life, I swear to you that I feel just as much. I would drag anyone who hurt him to the ends of hell and back. Zayn is my life.” Liam finished off in a soft tone.

 

“Zayn invokes such powerful feelings. He’s a special boy. And I’m glad he has someone who loves him just as much. And thank you for making him happier than I’ve ever seen him.” Yaser leaned over and patted Liam’s hand.

 

“He’s an angel. He’s my angel,” Liam murmured and Yaser grinned.

 

“Not that we’ve settled all that,” Yaser laughed, “we should get inside before Zayn thinks I’ve killed you.”

 

“For a second I thought you might at least threaten to do it,” Liam chuckled and got up. Yaser patted his shoulder and held open the door for Liam to go back inside.

 

“And besides I think I was convinced of your intentions when you sent Zayn that painting of Afreen Afreen,” Yaser said with a smile and disappeared into the kitchen to return their mugs.

 

Liam stepped into the living room to see everyone watching some Bollywood song on television but Zayn had his head on his mom’s shoulder and looked distraught. When Liam entered, he perked up and smiled so widely that his eyes crinkled. He also looked relieved.

 

‘I love you,’ Liam mouthed and Zayn turned the most beautiful shade of red.

 

“Liam come join us,” Doniya gestured to the space beside her and Liam sat down. Zayn pouted that Liam was far away from him but when Liam patted the tiny bit of space next to himself, Zayn looked around for a second then got up to slide in beside Liam.

 

“Was that entire seat beside Maa not enough Zee?” Doniya teased.

 

“Shut up,” Zayn mumbled and buried his face in Liam’s shoulder. Liam wrapped an arm around him and kissed his forehead.

 

“Liam did you know that Shahrukh Khan is how Zayn accidentally came out to me?” Doniya gestured to the screen where some actor Liam vaguely recognized (from some picture Ameera had shown him) was dancing.

 

“Don Baji!” Zayn huffed.

 

“What? It’s a nice story! So when Zayn was 13 I believe, we were watching some songs on TV and I just casually remarked how I’d like to marry Shahrukh Khan and Zayn in some automatic reaction said ‘me too.’ At first I was confused and thought he meant Kajol the actress, but seeing his shocked face I realized what he meant.” Doniya leaned over and pinched Zayn’s cheek.

 

“Yeah and I pretty much had a panic attack but you calmed me down and told me you didn’t care who I liked and would always love me. You were the first person I came out to,” Zayn smiled softly.

 

“Mr. Liam can I show you something?” Mina said and climbed straight up into his lap.

 

“Sure sweetheart,” Liam said with a chuckle at her unexpected friendliness.

 

“Mina you can’t just climb into people’s laps without asking,” Doniya chided.

 

“Why not? Zayn Mamoo was sitting in Mr. Liam’s lap before _and_ they were kissing! I only want to sit here I don’t need kisses!” Mina pouted.

 

“Minnie!” Zayn choked out in embarrassment. Everyone started laughing and Liam pulled Zayn close to himself to kiss his head. Zayn hid his red face in Liam’s chest and sighed deeply.

 

“My family hates me and loves to embarrass me,” he muttered.

 

“Maybe don’t sit in your boyfriend’s lap around kids,” Doniya laughed.

 

Liam grinned down at Zayn then turned his attention to Mina who wanted to show pictures of herself at Disneyland from Doniya’s phone. Yaser came in with dessert for everyone and they continued to watch TV and eat it. Zayn seemed more relaxed as time went on and sat curled up against Liam the whole time. After an hour, Liam glanced at his watch and realized he had to leave soon because he needed to grab some paperwork from Niall before he went home.

 

“Thank you so much for having me but I unfortunately need to be leaving now. I told my friend I’d swing by his place because I needed to grab some paperwork. And you guys probably want to get some rest now too,” Liam said apologetically.

 

“Nonsense my dear. We’ve loved having you over and we’re far from tired,” Tricia replied as she picked up dirty bowls and mugs.

 

“That’s sweet,” Liam smiled and checked his phone to see a text from Niall. “I would love to stay but my friend might not be home afterwards and I really need to pick up this paperwork.”

 

“You have to leave?” Zayn asked in a disappointed voice.

 

“Unfortunately baby. I would have asked you to come with me but your family might want to spend some time with you after you were away the past few days.” Liam pushed Zayn’s hair off his forehead and kissed him there.

 

Zayn started to say something but hesitated and closed his mouth. He looked down and nodded stiffly. Liam touched his face lightly to lift it and gave him a concerned look.

 

“Alright?” Liam asked.

 

“Mhm. I’m fine.” Zayn smiled meekly.

 

“Baby… do you _want_ to come with me?” Liam whispered.

 

“I dunno,” Zayn muttered and glanced around at his family. “Yes.”

 

“OK. Let your family know. Let me call Niall,” Liam squeezed Zayn’s hand then got up and walked outside to call Niall. While he was on the phone he heard low voices from the living room and a few laughs as well that sounded like Doniya and Harry. When he finished his phone call he walked back into the living room to see Zayn wrapped up in a hug by Yaser who was murmuring something to him as Zayn smiled and nodded. Liam waited by the door with a grin until they finished and Zayn drew back to throw Liam a smile over his dad’s shoulder.

 

“We’ve come to a compromise. If I’m back by midnight I can come with you,” Zayn announced.

 

“It’s just because Zayn hasn’t been sleeping at home much these days and we miss him at breakfast. So, he can spend the next two hours with you as long as he’s home by midnight,” Tricia stated.

 

“Like Cinderella,” Harry said from where he was sprawled on the ground in front of Safaa who was making braids all over his head.

 

“Is that OK or were you planning on going straight home?” Zayn asked in a slightly worried tone.

 

“Nope. After we swing by Niall’s we can get some ice cream and then I’ll bring you back by midnight,” Liam took Zayn’s hand and tugged him into his side.

 

“Don’t be late,” Yaser warned.

 

“I promise I’ll have him back before two hours are up,” Liam confirmed.

 

“Great,” Yaser smiled.

 

“Oh my God I’m not a child and I’m standing right here,” Zayn groaned, sounding annoyed.

 

“Yes, but you still live under our roof,” Tricia kissed his cheek. “You’ve been acting like a guest at this house for the past few days and we want to see your face more before you leave for college in September.”

 

“Got it Maa. Can we go Li?” Zayn turned around and disappeared to put his shoes on. Liam laughed and turned to say goodbye to everyone and thank them for having him over. When he shook hands with Yaser he shared a look of understanding and gave him a warm smile and nod.

 

Going outside he found Zayn waiting on the sidewalk and Liam walked up behind him slowly and scooped him up in a hug from behind. Zayn squealed as his feet left the ground. Liam pressed loud kisses to the side of his face which turned Zayn into a giggling mess.

 

“I love you I love you I love you,” Liam said between every kiss.

 

“I love you too you crazy person,” Zayn laughed. “I love you so much meri jaan and thank you for coming over tonight and bearing with my family.”

 

“Nonsense. I loved them. Like I love you.” Liam turned Zayn in his arms and kissed him like he had been wanting to all evening.

 

“But you love me more obviously,” Zayn grinned against his lips.

 

“Obviously,” Liam kissed him one last time than moved back and took his hand. “Now c’mon after I grab those papers from Niall I’m gonna need to get you alone so I can finally rip those clothes off you and do what I’ve been thinking about all evening.”

 

“What no ice cream?” Zayn teased, reminding Liam of what he had said inside.

 

“No my love, no ice cream. Think earlier with the popsicle.” Liam said with a dark glint in his eyes. Zayn bit his lips and his eyes widened a little.

 

“OK,” he murmured. “No longer than midnight though.”

 

“Trust me. I can do a lot in two hours.” Liam assured him.

 

“I love you,” Zayn sighed in a blissed out tone as he settled into Liam’s car.

 

Liam got into the driver’s seat and looked over at Zayn. The boy was gazing out the window, his eyelashes slowly fluttering and hitting the tops of his cheekbones. He looked beautiful, half of his face washed in the light coming from the streetlight. Liam glanced at the Malik house and remembered his conversation with Yaser and the promises he had made. He truly and honestly loved this boy more than anything and anyone and would hold him in his heart till he died. He would never let any harm come to Zayn and would go up against anyone who dared to try and harm him. No matter what.

 

“I love you too angel. Always.”

 

 

 

 

 

**

**

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 13 preview:

 

Zayn pressed himself against the wall and tried to stay as inconspicuous as possible. The voices were a little muffled over the sound of the water but he wasn’t even sure if he should be listening. He decided he should just leave now before someone saw him but then he heard a loud smacking sound as if someone had fallen. Zayn’s heart started to race and he peered around to see that Liam had thrown Max against the railing and was gripping the front of his shirt tightly, his face clouded in anger.

 

“… seem to forget that I am capable of putting you in your place,” Liam was spouting in anger. “Try fucking with me or anyone close to me again and I will make your life such a living hell that you will beg me to let you crawl back to the miserable pit that you came from.”

 

Max sneered and pushed Liam off. His eyes were flitting with anger as well, though his posture was slightly off balance. “Don’t fucking threaten me Payne. This isn’t college anymore and I won’t back away without a fight if you try and take something that I want. And don’t think I forgot about anything even if it’s been six years.”

 

Liam gave such a dark laugh that Zayn felt his toes curl. “Yeah while you relive incidents from six years ago like the pathetic loser you are, many of us have long since moved on. You always were a waste of space and will continue to remain a waste of space. If Vanessa decided to leave your abusive ass, that is not my problem and honestly, I don’t know how she didn’t leave sooner. If you got kicked off the team in college and didn’t get drafted that is not my problem. If my company got the Vegas deal over your disaster of a company, that is not my problem. If your family finds you worthless and agrees that you’re drowning their company, that is _also_ not my problem. But if you _dare_ to even come near me or the people I care about, I will fuck you up. Go live out the pathetic years of your existence that you have left before you fade away, and stay the fuck away from me or I will ruin you. And you know how well I act on my promises Max.”

 

Max was breathing heavily and glaring at Liam the whole time he had been speaking, Zayn could see his hands curling and uncurling like he wanted to do something. But something he probably saw in Liam’s expression made him step back a little as a precaution. His lips curled in an ugly smile for a second and he huffed.

 

“Whatever you say Liam, I’m not scared. All it would take is for me to make one call and put out negative publicity for your club and put it out of business. Or better yet strike where it would really hurt you and get that little boyfriend of yours-“

 

Zayn heard the sickening sound of bone cracking and Max groaning in pain as he hit the ground. Zayn felt that his whole body was shaking and he covered his mouth to cover his gasp. He felt some burning pain in his other hand and he lifted it in shock to see blood covering his hand. In his shock, he had squeezed his champagne flute so hard it had cracked in his hand. He looked around the corner to see Max on the ground and Liam pushed him back then knelt on the ground beside him to grab him by the lapels of his jacket.

 

“That is where you are so wildly mistaken you son of a bitch. I will end your life if you even breathe Zayn’s name or come close to him. You talk so much shit Max but everyone knows how utterly incapable you are of doing anything. But even then, if you ever try to do anything to me or more yet, to Zayn, I will fucking rip your throat from your body. And don’t forget the incident in junior year after which I put you in the ER. Remember that Max. Because what I’m capable of now is a hundred times worse.” Liam pushed him away as Max coughed and wiped blood from his mouth.

 

“Fuck you Payne,” he spat and got up slowly.

 

“I better not see your face again Max. Or I’ll be forced to finish what I’ve started just now,” Liam warned and started to walk away.

 

“You think you’re better now, and different now, but I know you Liam and I know how to get what I want. Watch your back,” Max called out.

 

Liam turned around and gave him a deathly glare. “Freeman _you_ should watch your motherfucking back because I can unleash hell on you for even trying something with me. And you don’t know me. You don’t know me at all. And that should be a warning on its own.”

 

Zayn quickly tried to push himself out of view as Liam came down the deck and pounded down the few steps. But as he searched around wildly for a place to hide, he knew he had been found because the footsteps stopped.

 

“Zayn?” Liam’s shocked voice asked. “What are you doing here?”

 

Zayn spun around with wide eyes and tried to hide his injured hand but Liam was quick to notice.

 

“Baby what happened to your hand?!” Liam asked in concern and quickly stepped forward to cradle Zayn’s hand carefully. But Zayn realized he couldn’t answer Liam as he waited because Zayn was still shaking from what he had witnessed and was totally speechless.

\---------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading I really hoped you liked it!! TBH there's some parts I 100% like and am satisfied with and some I wasn't so sure about but I hope you liked it anyways. This chapter has been a real struggle. The scene between Liam and the Max dude happens during Liam's Mom's benefit gala and theres alot of stuff that happens before that which will explain the context of the fight (and I'm sure you guys remember Max's name being mentioned last chapter, he's the guy bidding for the Vegas property along with Liam and they have a rivalry that goes way way back) but anyways I was gonna include it in this chap but it was already so long I pushed it forward (sucks for me cus I love drama) but I hope you guys liked that 26k words of pure fluff. But next chap we also finally meet Liam's family which has been a long time coming.  
> But yeah, this chap took me a long time but it ended up being super long so I think it made up for the delay :) And please bear with me for the next chap as well, as always I'm never sure when chaps go up and I'm super swamped with school and work and job applications too but I try my best. Also if anyone is wondering why Liam's letter never came up again, don't worry it's supposed to come up at a later moment.  
> But I love you all and thank you for your support!! <333
> 
> P.S. that poem Zayn wrote for Liam is an original poem I wrote a while back and I usually never ever share my poetry because it's extremely personal and I'm very self-conscious of it, but I hope you liked that too and please don't plagiarize it or post it anywhere else (also this goes without saying but don't post this fic anywhere else either)
> 
> Let me know what you thought in the comments or on tumblr!!!  
> \--
> 
> Urdu words:  
> -mujhe sone do: let me sleep  
> -pagal aadmi: crazy man  
> -ishq: deep love (explained in the letter bit)  
> -choti parchai: little shadow  
> -nawab: kind of like a prince who 'rules' over a small area or town and is basically royalty  
> (i hope words like baba, baji, bhaiya, jaan have caught on)


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm surprised at how quickly I finished this chapter, in less than a week after chapter 12... i've just really been into it and on a roll just writing away and I'm excited for what's to come. Thank you for all the lovely comments you left me on the previous chapter you have no idea how much I appreciate each and every one of them, especially when people point out some little thing they liked, it warms my heart. I love you all and I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

 

 

“Zayyyy.”

 

“Haaazzz.”

 

Zayn was finishing up an assignment May had given him when Harry walked up to his spot at the table and hugged him from behind.

 

“Babes I had an interesting idea for the both of us,” Harry said.

 

“Hmm?” Zayn prompted as he continued to type away on his laptop.

 

“We’re going to be done our internship here soon and then college is going to start. I sort of wanted to do something to commemorate this summer as one of our more interesting ones, what with high school being over, college starting, this internship, you landing a boyfriend…” Harry pinched Zayn’s nipple which prompted the latter to sigh and spin around in his chair.

 

“And?” Zayn asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

“I’m going to get nipple piercings,” Harry grinned.

 

“What?” Zayn asked in a shocked voice.

 

“Yup. I don’t wanna do another tattoo just yet. Maybe when college actually starts, but I want to get something pierced and nipple piercings are hot,” Harry grinned and jumped up to sit on the table.

 

“Haz you’re… your mom will kill you,” Zayn reminded him.

 

“Well it’ll already be done when she finds out. Do you wanna join in and get something pierced too?” Harry asked.

 

“I already have an ear piercing.” Zayn touched his ear where he had the tiniest silver stud in his lobe. He had gotten it two years ago when Waliyha had gotten her ears pierced and he’d asked his parents if he could do it too. Although Zayn wore a barely noticeable earring in there, he loved it. It was the first time he had made an out of the ordinary decision and he felt proud.

 

“I dunno. I don’t think there really is anything….” Zayn trailed off.

 

“Remember a few months ago you told me you wanted to get your nose pierced but you weren’t too sure? I told you then as well that you’d look super hot and I think you should do it.” Harry tapped his nose lightly and smiled at him.

 

“I know but… I don’t think I could really pull it off,” Zayn mumbled and turned back to his laptop.

 

“Babe you totally could. If anyone could pull off a nose ring flawlessly it would be you. You’d look fucking gorgeous and I know Liam would agree,” Harry smirked at him.

 

Zayn rolled his eyes but couldn’t help smile at the comment. Truthfully, he had thought about getting a nose ring many times. He had even discussed it with his parents but had never gone far enough to get it. Constant worry about if he’d be able to pull it off held him back. But this entire summer had been about jumping into new things and testing his boundaries. And those leaps had given him the most treasured thing in his life. Love. Liam. His entire world. And doing something new didn’t seem that scary. And a piercing could always be taken out if he didn’t like it…

 

“So?” Harry nudged his shoulder.

 

“Maybe,” Zayn said and gave Harry a tiny smile.

 

“I’m gonna take that as a yes,” Harry grinned. “OK after work we’re gonna go down to Gemma’s friend’s shop and she’ll do it for us. I’m so excited!”

 

“Well I’m still thinking about it. So don’t get too excited,” Zayn warned.

 

“Yeah yeah. I know you’ll do it. You’ve been considering it for months and you’re gonna look so fucking sexy.” Harry pinched his cheek.

 

“Don’t be a flatterer Hazzle,” Zayn chided and pulled out his phone. It was almost lunch time and he wondered if Liam wanted to spend this hour together or if he was going to be busy. They hadn’t seen each other since Liam had dropped him home last night after ‘ice cream.’ Zayn had returned home when everyone except his dad was asleep and Yaser’s one warm smile had reassured all of Zayn’s worries. His Baba approved of Liam. And at breakfast this morning his entire family continued to praise Liam and talk about how much they had loved him. Needless to say, Zayn had spent the entire morning smiling and feeling lighter than air. He hadn’t seen Liam since last night and his skin was already buzzing with excitement to be near him, feel his warmth, inhale his scent, kiss his lips and just soak his presence in till he felt like he was melting.

 

“What do you wanna get for lunch? The girls wanted to go to the café at the corner so when they return we can go,” Harry said as he started to put away his work.

 

Zayn felt his phone buzz and hastily grabbed it to see that Liam had replied to his earlier text where Zayn had asked if they were meeting today.

 

From MY JAAN: Of course angel. Come upstairs. I’m finishing up with a meeting and we can go out and grab something. See you soon. I love you. <3

 

Zayn smiled and texted back a couple of hearts. “Sorry Haz I’m meeting Liam.”

 

“Wow. OK. So that’s how it is. You’re gonna constantly keep ditching me for your boyfriend?” Harry feigned a look of hurt.

 

Zayn smiled apologetically and brushed Harry’s curls off his forehead. “Sorry babe you know I love you but I just… I haven’t seen Liam all day since he’s so busy and I wanna spend this hour with him. I kind of always want to be around him and I’m sorry if it seems like I’m ditching you but-“

 

“Zay it’s OK. Chill,” Harry laughed. “I understand and I was just messing with you. I know that feeling of being in a new relationship with someone and wanting to be with them every second. Plus, you’re madly in love and all that.”

 

“You can come with. Liam won’t mind,” Zayn offered and got up from his seat while grabbing his phone and wallet.

 

“And third wheel on your never ending sexual tension? No thanks,” Harry laughed.

 

“I’m sorry babe,” Zayn hugged Harry and kissed the side of his head. “After work we’ll go to the piercing shop and we’ll even grab those vegan wraps you like so much.”

 

“I’m holding you on that promise babes. Pinky swear on it,” Harry offered his pinky which Zayn shook with a laugh. After kissing Harry’s cheek one more time Zayn left the room to take the elevator up to the top floor. Reaching the 50th floor, he walked into the main foyer where Rosie and Lesley were busy behind the reception desk.

 

“Hi Zayn,” Rosie smiled at him.

 

“Hi Rosie,” Zayn smiled back at her. “Is umm, is Liam still in his meeting?”

 

“They should be coming out soon- oh there they are.” She nodded in the direction of the conference room behind them. The sound of voices and laughter filling the foyer alerted Zayn to the fact that people were pouring out of the conference room. He turned around and was greeted with the sight of men and women in business suits walking out. Some were heading straight to the elevator and some were lingering in pairs or groups to talk to each other. Zayn felt a little awkward and out of place just standing idly in the foyer so he moved a few steps back to press into the reception desk.

 

Ameera walked out of the conference room laughing and talking with a man. She shook hands with him before the man walked away towards the elevators. Turning around, she noticed Zayn and grinned widely at him.

 

“Zee how’s it going?” Ameera asked him.

 

“Good,” he smiled at her. “How’s your morning been?”  
  
“An exhausting meeting for the new Vegas casino and club. Biggest project we’ve ever had and the stress is just as big,” she sighed.

 

“It sounds cool though. I mean it’s a first for the company with the casino and I’m sure it’ll all turn out fine.” Zayn smiled at her.

 

“Thanks sweetheart.” She patted his arm and turned to grab a stack of files from Lesley.

 

Zayn looked towards the conference room again and, finally, Liam walked out followed by Niall and two other men. They were all talking intently about something before Liam said something with a grin and they all started laughing. After the two men shook Liam and Niall’s hands, they walked away towards the elevators like everyone else. Liam murmured something to Niall who grinned and nodded along. Zayn watched them from where he stood and when Liam turned his head and saw Zayn, his smile grew warmer and fonder.

 

“Peanut!” Zayn barely had a moment to react before he was engulfed in a hug from Niall who lifted him off the floor.

 

“Hi Niall,” Zayn laughed and patted his back.

 

“Get the fuck off of him Niall.” Liam pulled Niall off Zayn then tugged him gently into his arms.

 

“Hi angel,” Liam murmured and kissed him chastely.

 

“Hi,” Zayn whispered back while blushing fiercely, well aware of the many eyes on him.

 

“You guys are fucking adorable, it’s nauseating,” Ameera said.

 

“Well did you know that there’s a thing called looking away,” Liam announced sarcastically.

 

“I would have punched you but Zayn is in your arms and I’m rather fond of him,” Ameera replied with a tiny glare. Zayn grinned at her and she gave him a bright grin and a wink.

 

“Oh how devastating,” Liam rolled his eyes at her. “I’m gonna take my lunch with Zayn and I’ll need the debrief when I’m back. Niall I’m gonna need you up here later on as well to go over some of the plans.”

 

“I’ll be here,” Niall said. “And you’re going tonight right Li?”

 

“Yeah, I am. Are you taking someone?” Liam asked. Zayn looked between both of them confused, wondering what they were talking about.

 

“Unfortunately not,” Niall said and shot Ameera such a fleeting glance that Zayn wasn’t sure what the meaning behind it was.

 

“Well my mom always invites the Peterson’s. Maybe you’ll run into Kyla.” Liam gave Niall a teasing smile.

 

“Oh please no,” Niall groaned.

 

“Think about it. I’ll see you later,” Liam took Zayn’s hand and they walked over towards the elevators.

 

“What’s tonight?” Zayn asked hesitantly.

 

“Fuck, I totally forgot to tell you. My mom is hosting a gala tonight. It’s her annual benefit gala that she does where she raises money for breast cancer research. I have to go and I was hoping you would come with me.” Liam took both of Zayn’s hands and turned him around.

 

“Oh… ummm… where is it?” Zayn asked.

 

Liam drew him forward into the circle of his arms and kissed the crown of his head, ever so gently. “On a yacht actually.”

 

“A yacht?” Zayn said, feeling surprised.

 

“Yeah my mom loves going all out and being creative so she has a new theme and location every year. The publicity for her gala rises every year because of that and they end up selling more tickets and raising more money.” Liam shrugged.

 

They walked into the elevator and Zayn stepped up to Liam, who was leaning against the elevator wall, and wrapped his arms around his neck. Liam rubbed his fingers along Zayn’s cheek with a fond smile and Zayn leaned up to give him a quick kiss. The man grabbed his hips and held him tightly against his body and lavished more kisses on Zayn’s lips and over his face.

 

“I love you,” Liam murmured with his lips pressed to Zayn’s temple as the boy swayed in his arms.

 

“I love you too. I love you more,” Zayn said. He was about to kiss Liam again when the elevator stopped on another floor and the doors opened up. A couple of people entered and Zayn moved to stand beside Liam and resorted to just holding his hand instead.

 

“Afternoon Mr. Payne,” one of the men said as he noticed Liam. Liam smiled and replied to their greetings and Zayn avoided the curious gazes on him by staring up at the changing numbers instead.

 

“So?” Liam murmured and knocked Zayn’s chin up gently with their joined hands. “Will you come with me tonight?”  


“Do you want me to?” Zayn felt hesitant because being in a new place, completely out of his comfort zone, was frightening enough but with Liam’s family involved it sounded more intimidating.

 

“Of course I want you to my love,” Liam said slightly surprised, like he wasn’t sure why Zayn would even wonder if he was wanted or not. “If you’re worried about meeting my family I’ll totally understand and we can do it at your pace whenever you’re ready. But I want you to know that you have nothing to worry about. My family will love you. You’re kind of hard not to love sweetheart.” Liam gave him a grin and leaned down to kiss his forehead as Zayn felt his cheeks heat up.

 

“Thanks jaan,” Zayn mumbled feeling embarrassed because he still felt wary of the strangers in the elevator. Then the doors opened, the other people filed out and Liam held onto his hand as they followed suit.

 

“Where do you wanna eat baby?” Liam was loosening his tie and looking at Zayn for an answer as they walked out onto the street.

 

“Have you ever had Afghan food? I’m craving a kebab,” Zayn said.

 

“Yeah and as a matter of fact I know a great place not far from here,” Liam said as he texted on his phone, presumably to Patrick to bring the car around.

 

“OK,” Zayn replied with a smile and kissed Liam’s cheek. “And Li? I’ll go with you. You made the effort to meet my parents and I- I think I’m ready to meet yours.”

 

Liam smiled softly at him and ran his fingers through the front of Zayn’s wind-swept hair. He tugged him closer with an arm around his waist to kiss him between the eyes. When Zayn’s glasses went askew from the gesture, Liam fixed them and then pecked his lips. “You know that you’re not obligated to meet my family just because I met yours right? I loved meeting your family and I know you’ll meet mine when you’re ready. There’s no rush.”  


“No. I- I’m OK. Honestly. I’ll go with you. It might be stressful because of the new place and all, but I’ll manage.” The car pulled up and Liam opened the door for Zayn to climb in first then got in after him.

 

“Alright. It starts at 7pm, it’s a night out on the water out in the Hamptons and you’ll need a tux. Caroline can bring you something,” Liam said and pulled out his phone to shoot off a text to someone.

 

“I have to go somewhere with Harry after work but I’ll be free by 6pm.” Zayn remembered the promise he made to Harry and figured he could still squeeze in going to Gemma’s friend’s shop before he had to get ready for tonight.

 

“OK. Something important?” Liam asked curiously.

 

“Maybe,” Zayn said and smiled hesitantly. He was still 80/30 on whether he wanted to get the nose piercing or not, but he liked the idea of keeping the surprise from Liam. He wanted to see the man’s reaction and he hoped it would be positive.

 

Liam grinned and tugged Zayn into his lap to kiss him messily on the cheek. “Keeping secrets angel?”

 

“Maybe,” Zayn giggled then murmured in a low voice, “I might just have a side hoe out in Brooklyn. And you’re just my Upper East Side sugar daddy.”

 

“Oh wow is that so? Well daddy hasn’t gotten his sugar today so clearly you’re not being such a good sugar baby,” Liam smirked and tilted his head to kiss Zayn on the side of his neck.

 

“Liam,” Zayn gasped scandalized and scrambled forward to press the partition button hoping that Patrick hadn’t heard him.

 

“Sorry babes. I’m just a little jealous of this side hoe of yours. Does he know I’m extremely possessive and might have to have a word in the physical context with him?” Liam murmured and kissed along the underside of his jaw.

 

Zayn sighed and tilted his head back to give Liam more access to press little kisses and bites along his jawline. “Mmm. I’ll let him know. He might not back down so easily though. He really likes me.” Zayn gave Liam a tiny smile and he blinked his eyes flirtatiously. When Liam’s eyes darkened, Zayn leaned forward and kissed him on the corner of his mouth.

 

Liam tightened his hold around Zayn’s slim waist and caught his mouth in a searing kiss. Zayn moaned and ran his hands into the thick of Liam’s hair. He opened his mouth in response to Liam’s probing tongue and let the main claim his mouth.

 

“Well he can’t make you feel the way I do baby so he may as well be as good as gone,” Liam whispered and bit Zayn’s lower lip.

 

“Show me… daddy…” Zayn whispered the last part teasingly and bit Liam’s ear lobe. Liam inhaled sharply for a second then a smirk spread across his face and he threw Zayn down against the leather seats, only to climb over him and pin him down. Their mouths met in a hot kiss and Liam untucked Zayn’s button down shirt from his pants and pushed it up his chest. He was opening Zayn’s belt buckle when the car pulled to a stop and Patrick knocked on the partition.

 

Zayn turned red with embarrassment when he realized where they were. “Sh-shit. I forgot.”

 

Liam laughed and kissed his nose in adoration. He helped him sit up so that they could fix their clothes. “I love you baby boy and this is far from over.”

 

Zayn smiled and quickly fixed his shirt and hair to make it presentable for public. “I should only hope so.”

 

Liam gave him one last kiss then took his hand as they got out of the car and walked into the restaurant.

 

**

 

“It looks so fucking good. I’m so proud of us!!” Harry was bouncing with excitement as he inspected his newly pierced nipples in the mirror of the bathroom. They had just gotten back from the shop and had immediately gone up to the bathroom at Zayn’s house and were currently inspecting their piercings.

 

Zayn had gotten the nose piercing. Currently a small silver hoop sat gracefully on his nose and he couldn’t help his own grin because he _loved_ it. “I know Haz. I’m so fucking happy I did this. It turned out really nice.”

 

“Fuck yeah babe. You look insanely hot with that nose ring. I would do you. And your mans is gonna flip out. He won’t be able to tame his dick,” Harry smirked.

 

“What the fuck kind of comparison is that Harry?” Zayn flicked his head. “But I do hope Liam likes it. I- I’m not too sure what he’ll say… but I love it and I hope he won’t hate it.”  
  
“First of all, he won’t hate it. Secondly, even if he did it doesn’t fucking matter. You love it and that’s all that matters. Your body, your choice.” Harry kissed his cheek.

 

“Thanks Haz. And I have to admit, yours is great too.” Zayn lifted Harry’s shirt to look at his nipple piercings. Harry had gone with silver bars and Zayn had to admit they looked pretty good. He didn’t have the guts for nipple piercings yet and he knew his mom would absolutely not approve, but he thought they were sexy for sure.

 

“Thanks ZayZay.” They both exited the bathroom and went downstairs to the living room where Waliyha and Safaa were watching television. The girls and his mom had already seen his nose ring when he had gotten home and Waliyha had immediately begged their mom to let her get one too. Zayn was glad his mom liked it and had actually praised it.

 

“What time are you leaving?” Harry asked him as they fell onto the sofa.

 

“Liam will be here soon,” Zayn said with a glance at his phone. Liam had texted him that he would pick him up himself and they would drive straight to the Hampton’s where they would get ready at Liam’s family’s place and then go to the yacht for the party. Zayn’s nerves were already acting up and he couldn’t stop twisting his hands with anxiety.

 

“Are you going somewhere with Liam?” Waliyha asked curiously, turning around from her spot on the other sofa.

 

“Yeah. An event his mom is hosting. It’s a charity gala for breast cancer research,” Zayn replied.

 

Waliyha looked at him silently for a few seconds as she popped chips into her mouth. “I’ve been stalking him on Instagram and Twitter. He has a pretty wild life. How do you fit into that?”

 

“Like any partner fits into their respective partner’s life.” Zayn gave her a strange look.

 

“I would like to know how you bagged this hot, rich, famous man when you’ve never even had a real relationship before him.” Waliyha stretched out her legs and gave Zayn an inquisitive look.

 

“Suddenly you can talk about Liam without turning all red?” Harry asked teasingly and Waliyha tossed a cushion at his head.

 

“Shut up. It was a momentary lapse. I didn’t expect Zayn to bring home some Greek God. I thought he was dating some random dude from work,” Waliyha complained.

 

“Oh yeah. Because I’m not capable of dating someone slightly above average?” Zayn rolled his eyes.

 

“I don’t mean it like that dumbass. I- I’m happy for you Zayn. If you love him and he loves you I’m glad. You deserve it,” she said.

 

“Well thanks Wali.” Zayn tapped his outstretched leg against hers and she knocked her foot back in understanding.

 

“I just need some gossip. How did it happen? How do you get someone like that’s attention. You know... for research.” She smirked an popped some more chips into her mouth.

 

“Who are you trying to land?” Zayn asked suspiciously.

 

“No one. Or maybe someone.” She shrugged her shoulders.

 

“Well you’re 15. So you better not be trying to land anyone older than that because that would be wrong on so many levels,” Zayn warned her.

 

“Boys my age are immature though!” Waliyha whined. Then she sat up and grinned mischievously. “So Liam was your… you know… first?”  


“Wali what the fuck, I’m not discussing that with you!” Zayn said in complete shock and hit Harry on the head who had snorted and said ‘he was.’

 

“Just asking. Jeez. But if you’re out here sneaking around and fooling Maa and Baba, I guess I could too,” Waliyha said in a determined tone.

 

“Waliyha. Listen to me. I’m not gonna be those dickhead brothers who go around… doing stuff… and preach to their sisters to stay celibate. That’s wrong on so many levels. People should be allowed to have sex with whoever they want and I don’t agree with the double standards and slut shaming society puts on girls. When that time comes for you, I hope you’re smart and safe about it. But one thing I wanna say is that I hope you’re not in some hurry because you’re only 15 and trust me, I know high school boys and they’re assholes. They just want to use you. So I hope that you’ll at least wait for someone who will treat with you respect. Even though as your bigger brother I kind of want to say, wait till you’re much older. But I’ll instead just hope that you’re smart about these decisions.” Zayn leaned over and squeezed her hand hoping she would understand what he said.

 

“Alright _bhaiya_ ,” Waliyha said teasingly although she smiled softly at his words.

 

Zayn’s phone beeped and he looked down to see that a text from Liam saying that he was here outside. “And on that note, I have to go. Liam is here.”

 

Waliyha pushed aside the curtain and peered out the window. Zayn looked over her shoulder and noticed Liam climb out of his Range Rover and lean against the side as he waited for Zayn. He was dressed in a simple white tee that hugged his body and a black jacket paired with jeans. His eyes were covered with sunglasses and he was texting on his phone but Zayn couldn’t help his smile. It always hit him in random moments how much he loved this man.

 

“This may be crazy inappropriate, but Zayn your boyfriend is fine as fuck and I’m still low-key jealous that you managed to land him,” Waliyha sighed.

 

“Yes that is inappropriate and I just thank God that he walked into my school that day and my name got drawn out of sheer luck,” Zayn said. Harry snorted then quickly coughed to cover it up and gave Zayn a quick smile.

 

“Umm, where did Safaa go?” Harry asked suddenly.

 

Zayn looked back in surprise but then he heard the front door slam and he looked out the window to see Safaa bounding down the front steps towards Liam.

 

“What-“ Zayn started in shock as he watched Safaa run up to Liam. The man looked up at her loud greeting which was muffled through the window, and grinned at her. She hugged Liam’s legs as if they had known each other for years and Liam laughed and lifted her up in a hug. Zayn felt every bone in his body melt into a puddle as he watched Liam place Safaa on the hood of the car and listen to her talk excitedly.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to go embarrass yourself Wali?” Harry nudged her in the side.

 

“Oh shut up Harry!” She smacked him on the head.

 

“I have to grab my bag then I’m leaving. Bye guys.” Zayn ran upstairs at the speed of lightning and grabbed his backpack and hurried back down the stairs. He shouted a quick goodbye at his mom who was in the kitchen, since he had already informed her earlier of his plans. Before he exited the house, Zayn touched his nose ring self-consciously then took a deep breath and walked out of the house.

 

“… and bhaiya and me both love her so much and he promised me that when she comes to New York we can hopefully see her!” Safaa was knocking her feet against Liam’s car as she animatedly explained something to him. Her eyes were sparkling and she seemed entranced just by talking to Liam. Zayn didn’t understand how everyone who came across the man just seemed so drawn in by some invisible force. Actually,  Zayn did know, it was his ridiculous charm.

 

“Well I actually know someone who knows Ariana and I can get you and your bhaiya tickets to see her show and meet her backstage,” Liam said and tucked Safaa’s hair behind her ear.

 

“What?!” Zayn and Safaa both shouted at the same time.

 

Liam turned around and when he saw Zayn he grinned and beckoned him forward. “I was going to tell you a while back but it literally slipped my mind. I know you love her and Safaa here was telling me you’ve gotten her hooked onto Ariana as well and I’ve got the contacts babe.”

 

“Li you’re amazing.” Zayn threw his arms around Liam’s neck and hugged him. He felt Liam press a kiss to the side of his head. When Safaa cleared her throat, Zayn moved back and felt a little embarrassed at her head shake.

 

“I’m right here so no funny business.” She pointed at both of them and Liam laughed.

 

“Sorry cutie,” Liam said. “I just really love your brother so it’s hard not to kiss him or hug him when I’m around him.”

 

“I’ll allow you to kiss my brother _if_ you take me to the Ariana concert and also take me to see the new Spiderman in theatres.” Safaa crossed her arms determinedly.

 

“Safaa. You can’t just make demands like that,” Zayn scolded her. “Sorry Liam. She’s too brash sometimes.”

 

“It’s OK babe. I like people who know what they want, and you little Miss. Malik are one of those people. I promise I’ll make both things happen and in return can I kiss your brother as much as I want?” Liam held out his hand.

 

“Fine. I’ll just close my eyes,” Safaa grinned and shook his hand.

 

“Deal,” Liam replied.

 

“To keep your promise, you should give me your sunglasses,” Safaa said and pointed to Liam’s aviators.

 

“Safaa! Buttercup that is not cool. It’s rude to demand things.” Zayn gave her a stern glare.

 

“Oh I’m sorry,” Safaa shrank back a little. “They’re just really cool.”

 

“Zayn chill. It’s OK sweetheart. I’ve got a million and one of these. Here.” Liam set the glasses on her face. “You look awesome.”

 

“Thanks.” Safaa grinned at him and Zayn shook his head with a sigh.

 

“Jaan go inside now. It’s getting late and we have to leave.” Zayn pointed back towards the house.

 

“OK. Thank you, Mr. Liam!” She hugged Liam which he returned and then placed her on the ground. Safaa hugged Zayn tightly and kissed the part of his arm she could reach then ran back into the house.

 

When she was safely inside, Zayn turned towards Liam and gave an exasperated sigh. “Sorry about that. She’s just very outgoing.”

 

“She’s adorable. Stop apologizing. And-” Liam stopped mid-sentence and stared at Zayn.

 

“What?” Zayn asked self-consciously.

 

“Baby…” Liam stepped forward and cupped his face to tilt it to the side. Zayn noticed the glint in Liam’s eyes and sucked in his breath as he realized what Liam had noticed.

 

“You got your nose pierced?” Liam asked in a low murmur.

 

“Y-yeah. D-do you like it?” Zayn asked and touched the silver hoop.

 

“Fuck…” Liam muttered and rubbed his thumb against the hoop. “You’re going to fucking kill me. Get in the car.”

 

Zayn looked at Liam in surprise as the man opened the passenger door and took Zayn’s bag for him. Zayn climbed into the seat then waited silently as Liam got into the driver’ seat. The man didn’t say anything but stared straight ahead as he pulled away from the front of Zayn’s house and drove down the road. But then instead of getting onto the main road he pulled off to the side where there was a dead end. He put the car in park then turned to Zayn. He gazed at him intensely then unbuckled Zayn’s seat belt and in one swift movement he lifted Zayn out of his seat and onto his own lap.

 

“Liam-“ Zayn gasped in surprise. But Liam cut off the rest of it as he tugged Zayn into a biting kiss. A whimper fell from Zayn’s mouth and he returned Liam’s hungry kiss with just as much fervour. Liam hand one tight grip in his hair and one on his waist which drifted lower to squeeze his ass.

 

“You look so fucking hot with that nose ring Zayn. Why didn’t you tell me you were getting it?” Liam said between a series of passionate kisses.

 

“I wanted to- “ Zayn moaned as Liam tightened the grip on his hair and kissed his neck. “- surprise you. Clearly… it worked.”

 

“Cheeky,” Liam smirked and bit his earlobe. “You’re going to be my fucking death Zayn Malik. You’re already so fucking beautiful but that nose ring baby… damn.”

 

“Glad you like it.” Zayn smiled and kissed Liam. “I’ve been thinking about it for months and I finally took the plunge with Harry. He got his nipples pierced.”

 

“You would look fucking hot with your nipples pierced. But right now, I kinda want to fuck you.” Liam ran his hand up the back of Zayn’s t-shirt and ran his fingers down the bumps of his spine.

 

Zayn shivered and started grinding forward involuntarily. “But we’ll be late for your parents’ thing.”

 

Liam groaned and rested his forehead against Zayn’s. “Why must you be logical? We’ll go for now but keep in mind that as soon as I get you back to my place tonight I’m going to get you out of your tux and fuck you till you forget your name and only remember what it feels like to have me inside of you.”

 

“Fuck.” Zayn felt his body shake with desire at Liam’s words. “I hate you.”

 

“And I love you my beautiful angel.” Liam grinned and kissed him deeply one more time before Zayn fell back into his seat. Zayn huffed and tried to glare at Liam for leaving him hot and bothered but the man was gazing at him with a silent intensity again. Then he cupped Zayn’s cheek and leaned forward to give him a sweet kiss and rubbed his thumb along the edge of Zayn’s nose ring. After another loving kiss to the tip of Zayn’s nose, he moved back to start driving again.

 

**

 

The sun was low in the horizon when they had gotten into a limo to be taken to the yacht. When they had arrived at his parent’s house Liam had gotten a message from his mom saying that they were already on the yacht to overlook some last minute preparations and that she would meet them there. He and Zayn had gotten ready at his parents’ house, and with one minor delay where Zayn had decided to drop to his knees and blow Liam when they were half- dressed, they were otherwise mostly on time. As they were being driven to the yacht in the limo, Liam shot a text to Niall asking if he was there yet and Niall informed him that he had just arrived. Niall and his parents had been family friends with the Payne’s for a long time and were at every event Liam’s parents hosted.

 

Liam looked over at Zayn who was looking at his reflection in the front of his phone and adjusting his hair. He looked so stressed out that Liam felt a little worried for him. He took Zayn’s hand and kissed every knuckle then tugged him into his side. Zayn sighed and fit himself securely into the space like he was a puzzle piece meant to fit into Liam’s side.

 

“Alright?” Liam asked him and kissed his head.

 

“Just a little anxious. It sounds like an event that’s gonna be full of a lot of important people, people I don’t know. And that usually just sets me on edge a little bit,” Zayn said in a low voice.

 

“My love you can just say the word and I’ll get him to turn this limo around. We can go back to the city and I’ll just let my mom know.” Liam rubbed his hand comfortingly over Zayn’s arm.

 

“Thanks jaan. You’re sweet to suggest that but I’ll be fine. I don’t want you to end up missing it. As long as I have you, I’ll be fine.” Zayn leaned up and kissed his cheek. Liam felt wave after wave of endless love for the boy and pressed a lingering kiss to his forehead.

 

“You’ll always have me. I love you so fucking much angel,” Liam said and kissed his lips.

 

“Love you too jaan. Like you don’t even know,” Zayn whispered.

 

Liam stroked Zayn’s cheek and gazed into the hazel eyes that he loved more than life itself. They were glinting gold in this light and with the shadows of the thick lashes surrounding them, Liam realized he wanted to drown in those eyes. The car stopped which pulled him out of his daze. Zayn took a shaky breath and held onto Liam’s hand tightly. Liam leaned forward and kissed him once more to ease the boy’s nerves then he opened the door and climbed out. There were endless streams of limos and cars pulling up to the docks where the yacht was waiting. His dad’s love for sailing was obvious with the many boats he owned plus this yacht. Liam had a yacht of his own under the company but his parents personal yacht was much more massive in comparison. There were lights twinkling across it and the sounds of the band playing music was filling the night air. Liam held onto Zayn’s hand securely and turned to walk across the docks to get onto the yacht.

 

“Liam my boy is that you!?” Liam turned around at the voice and saw one of his dad’s old business partners and friend approaching him, his arm linked with his wife.

 

“Paul! Long time no see!” Liam said and hugged the man. There were so many people he didn’t see that often and only ran into at events like this. With his busy schedule, he went weeks without seeing his family let alone old friends.

 

“Geoff was telling me you might not make it! I’m glad you did!” Paul clapped him on his shoulder then looked over at Zayn who was looking slightly uneasy. Liam gripped his hand tighter in reassurance and Zayn smiled back weakly.

 

“Who is this?” Paul asked.

 

“This is my boyfriend Zayn, and Zayn this is my dad’s friend Paul Foster and his wife Diane Foster,” Liam said as an introduction.

 

“Pleased to meet you,” Zayn said with a small smile and shook their hands.

 

“Nice to meet you darling.” Diane smiled at him. “Shall we go on before they sail off without us?”

 

“Good idea.” Liam motioned for the older couple to go before them then he turned to Zayn to check if he was fine. “Alright baby?”

 

“Alright.” Zayn nodded with a tiny smile. Liam kissed the back of his hand then turned to walk towards the yacht with Zayn’s hand firmly held in his own.

 

Upon climbing onto the yacht, they were greeted by a waiter who handed them champagne glasses. After thanking him, they walked out of the front room into the main hall which was all decked out for the party. There was a band playing music on stage and people were spread across the room, immersed in lively conversation, while waiters wove in and out between them offering drinks and small appetizers. The French doors on the side of the room were open as they led out onto the main deck, and were also covered with people.

 

The yacht moved a little which indicated that they had started to sail. As they came into view of the main room, Liam felt Zayn’s grip on his hand become more deathly tight. People were starting to notice him and he knew they would become swarmed soon. 

 

“A lot of people might start coming up to me soon so are you going to be okay baby or would you like to go somewhere else?” Liam asked Zayn.

 

“Don’t be silly, you have to socialize with these people. I’ll be fine.” Zayn reassured him.

 

“Love you,” Liam whispered and kissed his head. Lifting his eyes, he noticed his sister Ruth approaching him from the side. She was dressed in a deep red dress with her hair pulled to the side and was giving Liam a bright smile as she beat one of Liam’s business partners in getting to him.

 

“Well well well. Look who’s still alive.” Ruth grinned and Liam smiled back at her. Wrapping an arm around her, he gave her a hug and kissed her cheek.

 

“Ruthie how’s it going?” Liam asked.

 

“I’m doing great. I just got back from LA yesterday. I’m exhausted but mom insisted I come tonight. And I haven’t seen your stupid face in weeks so I had to come. How are you? And who is this?” Ruth smiled at Zayn.

 

“This…” Liam kissed the side of Zayn’s head and smiled at the boy. “Is Zayn. My boyfriend. Zayn this is Ruth, an extremely talented writer, my old partner-in-crime and sometimes obnoxious older sister.”

 

“Minus the last part.” Ruth gave him a light slap on the arm. “I didn’t know you were dating someone new- well I never do. What happened to that model?”

“That was just a fling Ruth and not important anymore. Zayn is the only one who matters to me now,” Liam said and his eyes conveyed his words with conviction.

 

“Oh- Ohhh. Are you in love baby bro?” Ruth teased.

 

“Very much.” Liam rolled his eyes at her.

 

“This is amazing. Wait till mom hears. Oh God where are my manners, it’s so nice to meet you Zayn.” She leaned forward and gave Zayn a hug. The boy looked a little thrown off but he hugged her back.

 

“N-nice to meet you too,” Zayn replied.

 

“So what do you-“ Ruth was interrupted by Niall walking up to them.

 

“Finally! Where’ve you been?” Niall questioned them.

 

“Why do you look distressed?” Liam asked.

 

“Liam.” Niall gave him a serious look. “The Freeman’s are here. Max too.”

 

Liam felt irritation start bubbling in his gut and his jaw clenched. He was sure his feelings were reflecting in his eyes because Ruth quickly grabbed his arm and gave it a squeeze.

 

“Li before you get angry, just remember that this is a charity gala. Mom’s charity gala. The Freeman’s are just another part of this society and Mom had to invite them out of sheer politeness. They go to the same club and they also make massive donations for the cause. So, keep that in mind, and stay calm,” Ruth conveyed in a warning tone.   

 

“I can stay calm as long as Max doesn’t come near me and open his mouth,” Liam muttered.

 

“Don’t worry they’re on the outside deck for now,” Niall said trying to reassure him.

 

“Where are mom and dad?” Liam asked. “I should say hi to them before I get distracted.”

 

“Over there.” Ruth pointed towards the side of the room where Liam could see his parents talking to a couple of other people.

 

“Alright. See you guys in a bit. Come baby.” Liam took Zayn’s hand and weaved his way through the crowd towards his parents. They were stopped a couple of times by people who wanted to say hello to him but eventually they reached his parents who were mid-conversation with their friends.

 

“… and he didn’t compliment the dress no matter how many hints I dropped,” Karen was saying with a shake of her head.

 

“Dad has always been a little off his game but you’re the most stunning woman in this room mom,” Liam said with a grin as he came up behind his mom.

 

“Liam!” She exclaimed and spun around to pull him into a tight hug. “My darling boy!”

 

“How have you been mom?” Liam asked and kissed her cheek.

 

“I’m wonderful but a little upset with you. You’re too busy to call or even meet me. It’s been close to a month since I last saw you Liam.” She clucked her tongue but stroked his cheek lovingly.

 

“Hey, you can’t just blame me. You and dad took off to Italy without even telling me. I found out from Nicola.” Liam hugged his dad who laughed and patted his back.

 

“Your mom just misses you all the time. Don’t worry about her,” Geoff laughed.

 

“Clearly,” Liam chuckled. “Mom, Dad… this is Zayn, my boyfriend. Zayn these are my parents Karen and Geoff.”

 

“Oh how lovely to meet you darling!” Karen said and wrapped Zayn in a hug who seemed surprised by the friendliness of Liam’s family.

 

“Nice to meet you too Mrs. Payne,” Zayn replied politely.

 

“Aren’t you polite. And please, call me Karen.” Karen gave him a warm smile and squeezed his hand.

 

“You can tell how little Liam tells us Zayn. We didn’t even know he was dating someone new,” Geoff teased lightly.

 

“Again, you guys literally took off to Europe for a month without even telling me. And I’m the secretive one?” Liam retorted jokingly.

 

“So how did you meet?” Karen asked.

 

“I work at RED and that’s kind of how,” Zayn answered.

 

“So you thought you would date the boss and maybe work your way up?” Geoff asked with a faux serious expression.

 

“What?! N-no I swear-“ Zayn stuttered in a distressed voice.

 

“Dad leave him alone. Ignore my dad Zayn. He thinks he can pull off serious and mean but he can’t,” Liam rolled his eyes fondly and Zayn flashed him a worried look.

 

“I’m only kidding Zayn. So what do you do?” Geoff asked.

 

“I-I, I’m interning at RED for the summer and I’m going to NYU for pre-med in September,” Zayn stammered, obviously still thrown off by Geoff.

 

“Pre-med? Well done. You must be extremely intelligent.” Geoff patted Zayn’s shoulder.

 

Liam wrapped an arm around Zayn’s waist and pulled him closer to kiss his forehead. Karen was watching them curiously and when she saw the fond look in Liam’s eyes, her eyes sparkled and her smile widened.

 

“And how long has this been going on?” Karen asked curiously.

 

“About a month. He’s the reason I have now withdrawn from our old debate on love at first sight because… I agree with you now Mom. It’s real,” Liam said and kissed Zayn’s temple again. Zayn flushed at his words and turned his eyes down although a smile tugged at his lips.

 

“Oh really?” Karen grinned.

 

“Wasn’t sure this day would come to be honest,” Geoff chuckled.

 

“Well that’s not offensive at all,” Liam said sarcastically, with his eyebrows raised.

 

“You didn’t seem like you were anywhere close to ever being in love,” Geoff explained. “Did he take long to admit it Zayn?”

 

“No he umm, he didn’t. I thought it would be too soon for him, but he reciprocated everything.” Zayn finished off with a flush and Liam’s parents smiled at both of them.

 

“Well my son seems to be completely gone for you and that’s enough to tell me that you must be wonderful. I’m glad that if he decided to fall in love it was with someone as sweet as you,” Karen said.

 

 “Umm thank you,” Zayn replied as his cheeks reddened at the compliment.

 

“Zayn you should come over for dinner sometime soon. We would love to get to know you better but people would keep interrupting us here. Liam, you better come over soon and bring Zayn too. I don’t care how packed your schedule is,” Karen warned.

 

“Will do mom. I see the Aldrin’s approaching so I’m gonna escape now. Don’t want to hear them bitch about everything in the world. Talk to you in a bit yeah?” Liam kissed both his parent’s cheeks.

 

“Sure love.” Karen kissed his cheek then hugged Zayn. “Nice meeting you sweetheart.”

 

“Have fun.” Geoff clapped their shoulders before Liam grabbed Zayn’s hand and led them to the outside deck.

 

“Your parents seem really nice. I’m sorry if I seemed awkward or didn’t know what to say,” Zayn apologized.

 

“Don’t be sorry baby. They can be overwhelming sometimes but you’ll get used to it. And my mom will threaten me if we don’t go over for dinner, so maybe sometime this week.” Liam pulled him into a hug and sprinkled kisses on his head.

 

“That’s fine. It’ll be more low-key and less stressful than this party.” Zayn buried his face in Liam’s chest and exhaled deeply.

 

“It will be don’t worry,” Liam assured him and ran a soothing hand down his back.

 

“Payne.” The voice that had said that, reeked of ugly familiarity and Liam knew only one distasteful human being could have a voice he hated so much.

 

Zayn moved away from his arms and Liam looked up to see the dark-blonde headed, blue eyed man he had despised many years ago (and still did).

 

“Freeman,” Liam replied impassively.

 

“Long time. Saw that you quit the NFL. Injury or something?” Max asked.

 

“No Max. I played to my heart’s desire and then I left to take on and further my family company. You wouldn’t know what that is though with the way you’ve been driving your family’s company into the ground.” Liam gave him a cold, empty smile.

 

“I saw your bid on the Vegas property. You don’t think you’ll actually get that will you?” Max asked with arrogance in his tone.

 

Liam laughed out loud and said, “I already did. It was finalized this morning.”

 

Something like shock and then anger flashed in Max’s eyes and his hand became tighter around his glass. His jaw was set as firm as stone and he didn’t say anything for a few moments. “That must be a joke because last time I checked our offer was higher than yours.”

 

“But we kicked ours up a notch and they liked our vision better. It’s also about reliability Max,” Liam said. He was aware of Zayn looking confusedly between them and he didn’t want this to escalate into an argument like the old days because Max could become a vile human. Plus, he brought out the angry side in Liam too.

 

Max was shaking his head and before he could say anything a woman in a black dress walked up to Max and linked her arm through his. “Sweetie, Jenkins is here.”

 

“Emilia?” Liam asked surprised. Emilia King was someone Liam had been friends with throughout childhood as their families were neighbours. Their dads also played in the same golf club and they had always gotten along well. She had gone to NYU around he same time as him but after that she had moved away for law school and they had lost touch. The last time he had seen her was at a common friend’s wedding a few years back. But seeing her here with Max was a massive shock and not one Liam could hide well.

 

“Liam… how are you?” She asked, glancing between them awkwardly.

 

“I’m good… you?” Liam looked between her and Max who was watching the two of them with a sharp gaze.

 

“Good. Working in my dad’s law firm. Engaged.” She flashed her engagement ring and Max gripped her waist tighter.

 

“Congratulations,” Liam said while his voice sounded the complete opposite. He had no idea how someone as independent and heads-strong as Emilia was engaged to someone as fucked up as Max.

 

“Who is your friend?” Emilia asked.

 

“This is Zayn. My boyfriend. Zayn, Emilia is an old friend of mine.” Liam purposely ignored any introduction on Max’s behalf to show how irrelevant the man was to him.

 

“Your flavour of the month is cute Liam. Going for the younger leagues now?” Max snickered while his eyes indicated his irritation at the present revelations.

 

“Watch it Max.” Liam warned. Zayn was taking a few steps back, clearly uncomfortable with the tension in the air.

 

“Max-“ Emilia started.

 

"If you’re just trying to gain some ‘profit,’ you should know that Liam just likes to use and discard so you should get as much as you can now-"

 

Liam stepped in front of Zayn and gave Max a disgusted glare and a shove. "Maybe try watching the garbage that is coming out of your mouth or so help me God I will forget that my mom is hosting this benefit gala and throw any courtesy out the window." 

 

With Liam’s hard shove Max had gone staggering back a few steps. Emilia tried to help him but he pushed her away. She looked at Liam and Zayn apologetically, the latter of whom was looking at everything with a pale face and wide eyes.

 

"Always had a tough time controlling your impulses Payne. See that hasn't changed. You wouldn't wanna be around that sweetheart." Max gave Zayn an ugly grin then turned around and walked away.

 

"I- I'm so sorry about him," Emilia apologized. 

 

"Don't be. But Em, what are you doing with him?" Liam asked. 

 

"I love him Liam. And he loves me. I know he can be difficult sometimes, but which one of us doesn't have some issues? You had some anger issues in the past too," she stated.

 

"My anger issues were a problem I recognized and chose to address. I learnt to manage and control it. And even at my worst, when I was boiling with rage... I never hit someone innocent. I didn't abuse the person I was dating. You know about Vanessa, Em. Max is an abusive asshole." 

 

"I know ... but he's changed. He's not like that. I see the good in him and I know that people are capable of change. Our relationship is complicated but I really love him." She finished off with a pleading look in her eyes.

 

"You deserve to be happy and I hope you're acting smart in this relationship but babe you need to know that ugly behavior like that doesn't change so easily. If he's done it countless times before, who’s to say he wouldn't raise his hand on you? I want you to be safe." Liam tried to reason with her.

 

"I'm safe Liam. I promise." She wrapped her arms around Liam and hugged him. Liam couldn’t help but sigh and hug her back.

 

“And Zayn,” Emilia moved back and gave Zayn a smile, “it was nice meeting you and I’m sorry if Max said anything that could have been upsetting.”

 

“No no. It’s alright. You don’t have to apologize for someone else’s transgressions.” Zayn gave her a small smile. Liam leaned down and kissed him lightly on the lips as an apology for the awkward situation he had been dragged into.

 

“If only,” she murmured half to herself. Then she smiled again and turned to face Liam. “Liam I really have missed you and I would love to catch up over lunch… but… I’m honestly not sure Max would like that.”

 

“I would like to say fuck him but I can’t force you to do something Emilia. I can only hope you realize he’s not a good person,” Liam said to her.

 

“I- never mind. Maybe we can have drinks sometime. I’ll send you a text OK? It was so nice running into you though.” She kissed both of Liam’s cheeks then gave Zayn a polite smile and turned around to disappear back into the crowd with her black gown swishing behind her.

 

“That was… intense? Strange? What was that all about Li?” Zayn turned to him with a curious gaze. Liam exhaled and rubbed his hand over his eyes wondering how he could explain the complicated rivalry between him and Max that went back all the way to high school. That started all on Max’s behalf due to jealousy and transpired into bitter ugly spats that even turned violent as they had gone into college. When Max’s girlfriend, Vanessa, had also started dating Liam on the side, which Liam had been unaware of at the time, it had gotten uglier. Upon discovering that Max had been abusing her, Liam had urged her to get out of the relationship and even had an altercation with Max.

 

From then on Max kept spiralling and got kicked off the football team which made him angrier as he lost any chances of getting drafted. After Max tried to stupidly roofie one of their close friends at a frat party, Liam and Niall had lost all their cool once and for all and gotten into a physical fight with Max and his friend. Max had ended up in the ER but had stayed quiet on who had gotten him there because he knew what he had done to end up there. After college was over and Liam had gone on to play football, he had forgotten all about Max Freeman. But clearly that man was still holding ugly grudges and with this new Vegas conflict, he would be raging with more anger.

 

“It’s a complicated topic to get into. I promise I’ll explain everything when we leave the party but just forget about him for now. Don’t pay any attention to him OK?” Liam pulled Zayn into his arms and kissed his lips till the boy melted in his arms.

 

“Alright.” Zayn whispered against his lips.

 

From inside Karen’s voice was ringing over the microphone to announce dinner and Liam took Zayn’s hand so that they could go inside and join the party for dinner.

 

 

**

 

 

Dinner had gone smoothly and Zayn felt more relaxed than he had been at the start of the evening. He shared a table with Liam’s parents, Ruth, Liam’s other sister Nicola and her husband Evan, Niall and his parents. Through the stories Liam’s family shared about his childhood and seeing Liam engage in hearty arguments with his sisters and back and forth teasing with his dad, Zayn had loved it. Seeing Liam like this, so at ease with his family, was a wonderful feeling. It made something warm flood from his heart and rush through his whole body. Zayn wondered if Liam had felt like this when he had met Zayn’s family as well. Right now dinner was over and Zayn was outside with Liam, Ruth, Nicola and Evan. They had come to stand by the side railing of the deck and take in fresh air whilst being away from the crowd.

 

"And for his 11th birthday after he whined and begged we took him to the concert and my parents got him the bike as well because as he claimed it was 'insurance,’" Nicola explained with laughter.

 

"You were spoiled as fuck Li. I don't know how we didn't complain more," Ruth snorted. 

 

"You were and still are dad’s favorite so let's not get into. When you were 16 you crashed his vintage Mercedes and he said absolutely nothing. When I crashed my _own_ car at 17, I had it taken away for a month," Liam told her with raised eyebrows. 

 

"You were illegally racing with friends at 3am bro. You deserved it. He's a liar Zayn. Don't believe anything he says." Ruth smacked Liam's arm lightly. 

 

"To put both of you at rest, Ruth you were dad’s favorite and Liam you were mom’s. You both got away with everything in the world while I had to behave like a model child just because I was the eldest," Nicola said with a fond smile and shake of her head. She was leaning tiredly against her husband Evan's arm who was holding her securely. 

 

"Well we love you for taking the hit for us so many times." Liam kissed the top of her head and she patted his cheek fondly.

 

"Lily misses you so much you need to show her your face more often," Evan told him.

 

"I miss my little princess too. Bring her over to my place sometime soon. We should also get together for dinner at mom and dad’s. They wanted to have Zayn over as well," Liam said.

 

"Yes, I would love to get to know you properly away from all this noise." Nicola smiled in Zayn’s direction.

 

"Of course." Zayn smiled back at her and leaned further into Liam's side. The man kissed the tip of his ear and pushed his hair back to kiss his temple as well.

 

"Are you doing alright angel?" Liam asked in a soft tone.

 

"I'm okay." Zayn smiled up at him and Liam pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. 

 

"I have to speak some business associates since they were looking for me earlier. Do you want to come with or stay here?" Liam asked him as he pushed the wind-swept hair off his forehead.

 

"You can go. I'll be fine myself. To be honest I don't want to listen to boring talks about business." Zayn laughed.

 

"It's the worst." Ruth agreed with a grin. "Stick with me Zayn." 

 

"Don't scare him away." Liam warned her. Then he took a hold of Zayn’s face and kissed him chastely at first then with a quick flick of his tongue he turned it deeper. Zayn flushed a little with all the eyes on him but his body automatically curled up into Liam’s. When Ruth coughed, Liam finally let him go. He kissed Zayn’s forehead as well and after a private smile and wink, he walked away. 

 

"Unfortunately, we have to go make pleasantries with a few people as well. See you soon Zayn?" Nicola gave him a hug and kissed his cheek.

 

"Definitely. It's been really nice meeting all of you," Zayn said.

 

"You're so polite it's adorable." Nicola laughed. Evan shook Zayn’s hand and gave Ruth a kiss, then they walked back inside as well.

 

"So, what do you honestly think of events like this Zayn? Personally, I find them reeking of fakeness. People who hate each other coming together under the guise of a charity event to make small talk and pretend that they can bear each other. Men with their arms around their wives looking at their mistresses across the room the entire time. Business rivals talking about golf over champagne while trying to figure out who has the bigger dick in the metaphorical and literal sense. Trophy wives comparing dresses and jewelry while secretly fantasizing about men half their age here." Ruth's eyes had an amused glint in them as she leaned back against the railing and inspected the crowd

 

"I take it that you really hate these things?" Zayn laughed at her brutal honesty.

 

"Oh yeah. I miss my life in LA but then again there's just as much fake bullshit when you attend one of those Hollywood events." She grinned at him.

 

"Sounds intriguing. You must be privy to a lot of gossip," Zayn wondered with curiosity.

 

"Oh yeah. And loads of NDAs." She winked at him. 

 

"That’s no fun," Zayn groaned jokingly.

 

"But it's Hollywood. Although, if you ever want juicy gossip on Manhattan’s elite, I have a lot of good stuff," Ruth said with a waggle of her eyebrows.

 

Zayn hesitated for a second, wondering if he should go ahead and ask Ruth or wait for Liam to tell him, but his interest had been escalating and he couldn't wait. "Who umm... who are the Freeman's and why does Liam hate Max?"

 

"Oh boy. That is one long story and Liam might not appreciate me telling you everything about Max before he can, but what I can tell you is that the family is super shady. They run a hotel business too and were business opponents to my dad to an extent until PC grew and grew and Freeman's company kept going into a loss. Dave Freeman was too busy sleeping around to care much for his company and his wife was busy sleeping around on him to care about his affairs. Max is an absolute piece of shit and their other kids aren't any better. Their elder daughter went to school with me and she was not only constantly popping pills but also selling them for the thrill of it, not like she needed the money, and their other son is probably no better off. Overall a messed up family. And Max's issues with Liam are a whole other kind of fucked up. I'm pretty sure he's a sociopath. And now he's taken over his family company in another chance to prove he’s good at something he clearly isn’t. Not to mention the rumors that he’s doing many backhanded deals to keep it afloat." She finished off her rant with a big gulp of her champagne.

 

"Woah." Zayn could only muster the one word.

 

"Woah indeed." Ruth laughed at his shocked expression.

 

"Ruth? Karen needs you for minute." Some woman called out for her from across the deck.

 

"Coming! Will you be okay out here Zayn or do you want to come with me?" Ruth asked.

 

"I'll be fine. The weather is nice and I would much rather stay out here." Zayn told her.

 

"OK. Well if you need anything or anyone just come grab me." She gave his hand a squeeze then walked away.

 

Zayn turned back to look over the water and took a deep breath. It was such a nice night and he didn't even mind being over water right now because the wind was calming his nerves immensely. He heard some laughter and caught sight of a group of people wandering out with cigarettes lit. To try and get some space, he started walking in the opposite direction. Eventually he rounded a corner to the other side of a yacht and saw a couple of steps that were empty. He sat down on them and turned his face upwards to watch the dark sky. He was starting to wonder if Liam had finished talking to his business associates when he heard the click of a lighter. 

 

"You look about as done with this place as I am." Zayn looked up at the voice and noticed a guy leaning against the railing at the foot of the steps. He was smoking and watching Zayn with lazy curiosity. He was lean but slightly muscular and had dark brown hair that was tousled around his face in an orderly mess. He had the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up to expose a few tattoos. His dark eyes were still staring at Zayn and the latter started to feel a little uncomfortable like he always did around strangers.

 

"I just wanted some fresh air," Zayn said.

 

"In a place like this, we all need 'fresh air' after a few moments." The boy grinned at him. "Never seen you around at one of these things before."

 

"Never really been," Zayn replied.

 

"Well you're probably regretting losing your ‘Manhattan’s elite gang bitch fest’ virginity already," he chuckled and came to sit beside Zayn.

 

"Sorry?" Zayn asked as the boy blew his cigarette smoke up to the sky.

 

"These people are fucked up but just as boring. I'm only really here thanks to my mom. Get dragged every time." He flicked the ash away from his cigarette and leaned back languidly, stretching his long legs out. He turned to Zayn and watched him with such an intense gaze that Zayn felt his skin crawl. The boy’s eyes lingered on Zayn’s lips and then he looked up into his eyes and smiled.

 

"Do I get to know your name?” He asked.

 

"Zayn… Malik.” Zayn fiddled nervously with his Cartier bracelet, not appreciating the stranger’s intense gaze or his close proximity.

 

“Pretty. I’m Jason Pierce.” He offered his hand and when Zayn shook it politely, Jason didn’t seem to let go that quickly. He instead held onto Zayn’s hand and let his eyes flit all over Zayn’s face. Zayn eventually drew his hand back and cleared his throat.

 

“Nice to meet you,” Zayn said politely.

 

“What do you do Zayn?” Jason asked.

 

“Uhh… right now I work and in September I start at NYU for pre-med,” Zayn answered.

 

“Well you’ll see a familiar face there. I’m starting my senior year. Are you rushing any fraternities? You should go for Delta Lambda Phi. I’m president,” he informed.

 

“Umm. Not really. I’m not into the whole frat scene,” Zayn said and looked out over at the water and noticed that they were now heading back.

 

“I think you should give it a shot,” Jason said and flicked away the end of his finished cigarette.

 

Zayn was about to reply when his phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket hastily. It was a text from Liam who was checking up on him. Zayn smiled automatically like he always did when Liam’s name appeared on his screen.

 

“Bambi?” Jason asked with a grin and motioned to Zayn’s phone case. Zayn turned his phone around and blushed at his bambi phone case. Liam had given it to him with a grin and had kissed him while murmuring ‘my bambi eyes.’ Zayn didn’t stop smiling all day at how silly yet cute the gesture was.

 

“Oh yeah… my boyfriend sort of has this nickname for me… bambi eyes… and he gave this to me as a joke but it’s pretty cute.” Zayn smiled and rubbed his finger over the cartoon bambi on the back.

 

“Boyfriend?” Jason raised his eyebrows. “Ouch. Who is this boyfriend?”

 

“Liam… Liam Payne,” Zayn answered. He saw Jason raise his eyebrows in surprise.

 

“Wow. Big fucking fish. Don’t stand a chance against that. I imagine when you tell people you’re dating Liam Payne they back away with their tails between their legs?” Jason laughed lightly.

 

“No,” Zayn answered in slow confusion.

 

“Well it’s a big red sign that sort of says back the fuck away. A shame. I would have liked to get to know you better,” Jason murmured and dragged his eyes over Zayn’s body.

 

“Uhh sure…” Zayn stood up slowly. “Sorry but I have to go now. It was nice meeting you Jason.” Zayn started down the stairs slowly but Jason took his hand which made him pause.

 

“See you around… bambi eyes.” He winked at him and Zayn felt something uncomfortable unfurl in his stomach. Jason calling him bambi eyes sounded really wrong. That name only sounded good coming from Liam’s lips. And his forwardness wasn’t helping.

 

“Yeah… sure…” Zayn slowly drew his hand back and started descending the steps. Jason leaned back and lit up again as he watched Zayn walk away.

 

Zayn quickly strode away, just wanting to get away from Jason. He wasn’t sure where Liam was or if he was busy with people. There was no escaping the party either since the yacht had yet to dock, so he wandered to the edge of the main hall and peered around trying to see where Liam was. He couldn’t spot him anywhere nearby and grabbed a glass of champagne from a waiter who was passing by. He felt on edge after that encounter with Jason outside and truthfully, he just wanted to be back at Liam’s place to let his nerves relax. 

 

He didn’t feel like going back into the crowd of strangers again so he pulled out his phone to text Liam back. His signals weren’t coming through properly so he wandered to the top most deck to try and find signals under the open sky. He was about to climb up a few short steps when he saw something a few feet away from him that made him pause. Liam and Max seemed to be having a verbal altercation. They were stood a few inches apart and both seemed to be vibrating with anger. Max said something which prompted Liam to grab him by the front of his shirt and shake him. Zayn quickly spun around to hide behind a wall beside the steps.

 

Zayn pressed himself against the wall and tried to stay as inconspicuous as possible. The voices were a little muffled over the sound of the water but he wasn’t even sure if he should be listening. He decided he should just leave now before someone saw him but then he heard a loud smacking sound as if someone had fallen. Zayn’s heart started to race and he peered around to see that Liam had thrown Max against the railing and was gripping the front of his shirt tightly, his face clouded in anger.

 

“… seem to forget that I am capable of putting you in your place,” Liam was spouting in anger. “Try fucking with me or anyone close to me again and I will make your life such a living hell that you will beg me to let you crawl back to the miserable pit that you came from.”

 

Max sneered and pushed Liam off. His eyes were flitting with anger as well, though his posture was slightly off balance. “Don’t fucking threaten me Payne. This isn’t college anymore and I won’t back away without a fight if you try and take something that I want. And don’t think I forgot about anything even if it’s been six years.”

 

Liam gave such a dark laugh that Zayn felt his toes curl. “Yeah while you relive incidents from six years ago like the pathetic loser you are, many of us have long since moved on. You always were a waste of space and will continue to remain a waste of space. If Vanessa decided to leave your abusive ass, that is not my problem and honestly, I don’t know how she didn’t leave sooner. If you got kicked off the team in college and didn’t get drafted that is not my problem. If my company got the Vegas deal over your disaster of a company, that is not my problem. If your family finds you worthless and agrees that you’re drowning their company, that is _also_ not my problem. But if you _dare_ to even come near me or the people I care about, I will fuck you up. Go live out the pathetic years of your existence that you have left before you fade away, and stay the fuck away from me or I will ruin you. And you know how well I act on my promises Max.”

 

Max was breathing heavily and glaring at Liam the whole time he had been speaking, Zayn could see his hands curling and uncurling like he wanted to do something. But something he probably saw in Liam’s expression made him step back a little as a precaution. His lips curled in an ugly smile for a second and he huffed.

 

“Whatever you say Liam, I’m not scared. All it would take is for me to make one call and put out negative publicity for your club and put it out of business. Or better yet strike where it would really hurt you and get that little boyfriend of yours-“

 

Zayn heard the sickening sound of bone cracking and Max groaning in pain as he hit the ground. Zayn felt that his whole body was shaking and he covered his mouth to muffle his gasp. He felt some burning pain in his other hand and he lifted it in shock to see blood covering his hand. In his shock, he had squeezed his champagne flute so hard it had cracked in his hand and given him a cut that was now bleeding. He looked around the corner to see Max on the ground and Liam pushed him back then knelt on the ground beside him to grab him by the lapels of his jacket.

 

“That is where you are so wildly mistaken you son of a bitch. I will end your life if you even breathe Zayn’s name or come close to him. You talk so much shit Max but everyone knows how utterly incapable you are of doing anything. But even then, if you ever try to do anything to me or more yet, to Zayn, I will fucking rip your throat from your body. And don’t forget the incident in junior year after which I put you in the ER. Remember that Max. Because what I’m capable of now is a hundred times worse.” Liam pushed him away as Max coughed and wiped blood from his mouth.

 

“Fuck you Payne.” He spat and got up from the ground slowly.

 

“I better not see your face again Max. Or I’ll be forced to finish what I’ve started just now,” Liam warned and started to walk away.

 

“You think you’re better now, and different now, but I know you Liam and I know how to get what I want. Watch your back,” Max called out.

 

Liam turned around and gave him a deathly glare. “Freeman _you_ should watch your motherfucking back because I can unleash hell on you for even trying something with me. And you don’t know me. You don’t know me at all. And that should be a warning on its own.”

 

Zayn quickly tried to push himself out of view as Liam came down the deck and pounded down the few steps. But as he searched around wildly for a place to hide, he knew he had been found because the footsteps stopped.

 

“Zayn?” Liam’s shocked voice asked. “What are you doing here?”

 

Zayn spun around with wide eyes and tried to hide his injured hand but Liam was quick to notice.

 

“Baby what happened to your hand?!” Liam asked in concern and quickly stepped forward to cradle Zayn’s hand carefully. But Zayn realized he couldn’t answer Liam as he waited because Zayn was still shaking from what he had witnessed and was totally speechless.

 

“Zayn? Angel what happened?” Liam cupped Zayn’s face and gazed at him looking for an answer. Zayn couldn’t find himself to reply and Liam seemed to grow more worried. His bowtie was hanging loose around his neck and he pulled it off to wrap it around the bleeding cut on Zayn’s hand.

 

“Zayn you’re freaking me out. What happened?” Liam applied pressure to his wound with one hand and rubbed Zayn’s cheek with the other hand.

 

“What- what happened Li? Why is Max threatening you?” Zayn stuttered out fearfully. This rivalry that Ruth had mentioned seemed more darker and violent than they had let on. Max had been making ugly threats and Zayn’s whole body was shaking relentlessly.

 

“God baby you’re shaking. I think we’re docking. Come on we have to get your hand bandaged up.” Liam took his uninjured hand and led him quickly to the exit of the yacht before everyone else would start swarming it. As soon as the doors opened, Liam led them off the yacht and down the docks. He still looked angry but he also seemed worried and Zayn couldn’t find it in himself to ask any questions. Liam was texting at a furious pace on his phone and within a few moments the limo they had arrived in before pulled up.

 

“Come on.” Liam opened the door for him and Zayn slid in followed by Liam. The entire ride Liam was silent, other than occasionally checking on Zayn’s hand and holding on to it gently. At one point, he sighed and wrapped an arm around Zayn to tug him closer and press a kiss to his forehead. Zayn just sunk into Liam’s side despite the obvious tension in the man’s body and they sat in silence until they pulled up to Liam’s parent’s house.

 

They walked into the dark house and Liam led him over to the living room, still just as silent. After Zayn sat down, Liam disappeared for a few minutes then returned with a first aid kit. At this point, Zayn had a few tears pricking his eyes. He was worried and afraid as to why Max had been threatening Liam and he was unsure how to act around Liam’s dark mood. Liam cleaned Zayn’s wound with gentle affection and then he wrapped the cut in gauze. He stayed kneeling in front of Zayn who was sat on the sofa and watching Liam. Zayn looked down at Liam as the man cradled his bandaged hand and kissed it all over.

 

“Li-Liam.” Zayn heard his voice crack and he touched Liam’s face with a shaky hand. “What’s wrong and what does Max want from you?”

 

“Don’t worry angel. Max is a worthless piece of shit and he’s always talking complete bullshit. Forget about him.” Liam cupped his face and kissed him all over with a sense of protectiveness and love.

 

“B-but he was threatening you… threatening me… is he going to hurt you Liam? Is he? I can’t- I can’t… if something happened to you.” Zayn felt tears leak from his eyes and his whole body was trembling. He didn’t understand why this was happening but hearing threats come out of Max’s mouth and the nerves he had been feeling from earlier had triggered a small anxiety attack. Because of course his anxiety attacks had to start at the worst moments.

 

“Angel no…” Liam quickly got onto the couch and pulled Zayn into his lap. Zayn curled against Liam’s chest and buried his face into the solid strength of it. He let his tears soak the front of Liam’s shirt as the man stroked his hair and kissed him all over his face. “God baby, please don’t cry. I can’t bear to see you cry. And especially not over some weak threats that son of a bitch was making. I would die before I let anyone even lay a hand on you. I could rip him to pieces for even saying your name with his filthy mouth.”

 

“But you- you too Liam. If anything happened to you I- I- I’d die, I just…” Zayn gripped the front of Liam’s shirt as tightly as possible and continued to cry.

 

“Zayn, my love, you’re scaring me a little. Max made some petty threats but you shouldn’t be worrying. Don’t take anything he says seriously and he can’t do anything to me. So please don’t cry. Please.” Liam moved him back and took his face in his hands to kiss his tear tracks. Zayn closed his eyes firmly as Liam kissed his wet cheeks and wet eyes.

 

“These eyes…” Liam swept a finger under his damp eyes. “Should only ever be full of light and happiness and never tears. I love you so fucking much Zayn and you should know that I will never let anyone harm you. Or even me. OK?”

 

Zayn nodded and hugged Liam fiercely. Max’s threats to Liam had left him shaken up and Zayn still felt extremely uneasy. One of his biggest fears and anxieties was harming coming to the people he loved most and Liam was his entire world. If anything ever happened to him… Zayn probably wouldn’t survive it.

 

“Do you want to spend the night here or go back to my apartment?” Liam asked as he carded soothing fingers through Zayn’s hair. “My parents won’t be back just yet, they still have a lot to do after the gala and we’ll have some silence here.”

 

“Can we just go back to your place? I just… I just want to be there,” Zayn murmured.

 

“Anything you want baby. Let’s go.” Liam pecked his lips then stood up. Zayn got up as well and grabbed Liam’s arm as the man was about to turn.  

 

“I love you,” Zayn choked out. “You’re my everything.” He hugged Liam tightly and leaned up to kiss him. Liam gripped him just as possessively and kissed Zayn over every surface of his face that he could reach.

 

“I love you too angel. So fucking much.”

 

**

 

During their drive to the city Zayn had held onto Liam’s hand for the entirety of the ride. He had fallen asleep eventually and when Liam had parked in his underground garage, he picked Zayn up as gently possible and carried him up in the elevator to his penthouse. He went straight up to his bedroom and peeled back the covers to lay Zayn down. Liam undressed Zayn down to his briefs so that he could be more comfortable and then tucked the comforter around his body. Liam cupped Zayn’s cheek and rubbed his thumb over his cheekbone. The boy’s eyelashes were fluttering delicately over his cheeks as if he was already dreaming. Liam leaned down and pressed his lips to Zayn’s forehead, just letting them rest there for a second.

 

“I would destroy anyone who tried to harm you angel. I’ve always got you and no harm will come your way as long as I’m alive. I love you more than anything or anyone on this entire planet and I always will.” He kissed Zayn all over his face then picked up the boy’s injured hand and kissed it as well. Liam touched Zayn’s new nose ring with a fond smile and kissed the tip of his nose before he got up to go the bathroom.

 

After taking a shower and changing his clothes, Liam walked onto the balcony outside his bedroom and stretched out onto one of the chairs. He lit up a cigarette and took a long drag as he dropped his head back. Fucking Max. That fucking bastard. Who did he think he was coming up to Liam and spewing nonsense? His anger over the Vegas deal was not only immature but petty as well. And his threats were disgusting. Max knew what Liam was capable of and he made the mistake of trying to fuck with him again. He hadn’t learnt his lesson from their college days and was still trying to try shit. What angered Liam the most was when that bastard had uttered Zayn’s name. He could go around making all the ugly threats he wanted, but if he dared to even breathe Zayn’s name again, Liam wouldn’t let him walk away easy.

 

His phone started to ring and when he looked at it he noticed it was his mom. He picked it up realizing that he had come back to the city without even saying goodbye to his parents.

 

“Hey mom. Listen I’m so sorry I didn’t even say goodbye and left in such a rush. Zayn wasn’t feeling well and he wanted to come home so I couldn’t stay back,” he said apologetically.

 

“It’s OK darling. I just wanted to make sure everything was fine with you. I know you were annoyed that the Freeman’s were there and I hear that Max was saying some rude things to you and Zayn. I actually called to apologize myself. I should never have invited him knowing how vile he and his family are. I should have known better,” Karen sighed.

 

“Mom please. It’s fine. I know how these society events work. And they do end up donating to the cause so it’s never completely useless. Although Max is one person I never wanna see again. Talking shit to me is one thing, but Zayn? If he or anyone tries to mess with Zayn I won’t have it. That’s where the line is drawn and where my self-control ends.” Liam lit up another cigarette as the first one had burnt down to the stub.

 

“You really love this boy, don’t you?” Karen asked.

 

“More than life itself.” Liam simply stated.

 

“I saw it. In your eyes. In his eyes. And I’m so happy for you Liam,” Karen said.

 

“Thanks Mom.” Liam smiled. “And I promise I’ll come around for dinner soon and bring Zayn too. It’s been way too long.”

 

“Of course honey. And Liam… don’t let what Max says get to your head. He can’t do anything to Zayn. He’s not worth getting yourself riled up over,” Karen spoke softly.

 

“I know mom. Don’t worry about me yeah?” Liam reassured her.

 

“Good. And tell Zayn it was so nice meeting him although I wish we could have spoken more. He’s such a lovely boy. Just the absolute sweetest.” Karen was practically cooing and Liam grinned at his mom’s obvious adoration for Zayn. That’s the effect he had on everyone he encountered. His personality was as beautiful as he himself was and people couldn’t help but fall in love with him.

 

“I know. He’s amazing. He’s my entire world.” Liam smiled just at the mention of Zayn.

 

“I’m so glad you have each other. Now I won’t keep you up too late. You should get some rest and we’ll do dinner soon alright?” Karen said.

 

“Of course Mom. Love you,” Liam replied.

 

“Love you too sweetheart. Goodnight.” Karen was yawning and Liam chuckled and replied to her goodnight. He set his phone down and leaned his head back against the chair to take another long drag of his cigarette.

 

Suddenly, wiry arms wrapped around his neck from behind and a kiss was dropped on his cheek. Liam smiled and held the arms against his body. He kissed the soft skin under the Cartier bracelet then looked up and met hazel eyes.

 

“Weren’t you asleep baby?” Liam asked.

 

Zayn had thrown a baggy t-shirt over his briefs and his hair and eyes still showed signs of sleep. He gave Liam a tired smile then walked around to settle himself in Liam’s lap with his back resting against Liam’s chest. “I can’t sleep without you.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Liam wrapped his arms around Zayn’s torso and kissed along the side of his face.

 

“It’s OK.” Zayn nuzzled his face into Liam’s bicep and then started tracing the tattoos on his arms. “Li… I- can you tell me about Max?”

 

Liam stayed silent for a few seconds because he knew Zayn had been waiting all night to hear about this. He wanted to know the reason behind all this anger and the rivalry between the two of them. He had witnessed their altercation and heard his own name as well. He deserved to know about every aspect of Liam’s life even if it was some grey areas from his past.

 

“It’s a really long story. The Freemans and my family have always been business rivals but it was never more than that. Max went to a different middle school than me but in high school we really encountered each other and the issues started. I was never bothered by it, I had zero time to indulge myself in Max’s pettiness. He was always competing with me whether it was for the spot on the football team or for a girl. But in NYU it escalated further. We were in opposing fraternities and we both competed for the spot of the captain on the football team. College football is obviously a big deal because that’s how you get drafted. I got the spot and Max’s bitterness started. Then there was the issue of me and him both dating the same girl but not really knowing. I found out she was Max’s on and off girlfriend right around the same time I found out that he abused her. I urged her to leave him, not for me, but for herself. Max didn’t take it lightly and we got into a fight on the field. In junior year, he tried to roofie a friend of ours, she got away safely, but me and Niall lost our cool. We confronted him and it got into a physical fight. He’s a disgusting excuse for a human and he deserved that beating. He landed in the ER then. After Vanessa left him he spiralled and also started to use speed for games. Combining all that together he got kicked off the team and lost all chances of playing for the NFL. He just decided it was all my fault and that he had lost his dream and his girlfriend because of me.” Liam took a deep breath and Zayn rubbed his arm gently.

 

“The last fight we got into was when he attacked Niall and I couldn’t take it anymore. He fucked with my friend so I fought with him again. I guess he learnt his lesson or whatever because he stayed away after that. Then I graduated, started playing football and life moved on. Recently he took on his family’s company and has started vying for deals that we’re trying to get. And that Vegas deal we were bidding on was granted to me and now I’m pretty sure he’s going to be even more worked up. Rumour was that he wanted to make a hotel on that property and try to fix his family’s dying company. Max has always been so dirty. If he’s angry with you he makes it personal. He roofied our friend not only because he was a sick fuck but also because of his anger towards me. He attacked Niall to also piss me off. He’s always been fucked up like that. And tonight, he was threatening me again in anger of the Vegas deal but I will fuck him up if he tries anything with me. He doesn’t know what I can do to him.”

 

Liam finished off and hugged Zayn possessively to his chest and pressed kisses to his hairline. Zayn looked up at him and touched his cheek lightly.

 

“Was Max the reason your anger spiralled in college and you joined that fight club thing?” Zayn asked.

 

“Partly yes. Him and his toxic behaviour brought on a lot of my rage and I channelled it into fighting it in an orderly although illegally constructed way. I’m a different person now but seeing him makes me feel like my anger is ready to spike again. And when he tried to threaten you I wanted to break his face.” Liam took a long drag of his cigarette to try and calm his anger.

 

“Li, like you said… he can only make petty threats and not do anything. He sounds like a coward who only seems to use violence to solve everything. Those types of people get what’s coming for them. And it’s better to let them wallow in their anger and misery than indulge them.” Zayn turned around to straddle Liam and wrapped his arms around his neck. He leaned forward to kiss him softly then rested his forehead against Liam’s.

 

“Just forget about him. You told me not to waste my tears on someone pathetic like that. And I think you shouldn’t waste energy thinking about him or getting angry over him. Look at you. You’re so successful, intelligent, accomplished and literally perfect. Max isn’t even half of that and doesn’t even deserve a second of your time,” Zayn said and kissed him on the corner of his mouth.

 

Liam grinned and wrapped his arms around Zayn’s body to pull him closer. He kissed him multiple times until Zayn was laughing softly against his lips. “Thank you baby. When you’re near me every ounce of anger and stress in my body washes away. You’re my calm, my angel. And I’m so lucky to have you.”

 

“No, _I’m_ lucky to have you. And I hope you know that I love you so fucking much,” Zayn whispered. “Come inside. I know how I can get your mind off things.”  


“I’ll be fine my love don’t worry,” Liam said and stroked his fingers through Zayn’s fringe.

 

“Please? For me?” Zayn’s eyes were pleading and Liam’s heart wrenched. He truly would do anything to keep this boy happy.

 

“OK,” Liam said and pecked his lips.

 

Zayn smiled so beautifully and he got up from Liam’s lap to take his hand. He walked backwards into the room leading Liam by the hand. When they reached the centre of the room, Zayn placed his hand over Liam’s eyes and closed them.

 

“Keep them closed for a second?” Zayn whispered. Liam nodded with a smile and Zayn’s hand disappeared from his. 

 

Liam wasn’t sure how many minutes passed before he heard the opening chords of ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’ fill the room and Elvis’ deep voice crooned ‘wise men say.’ Liam couldn’t help the grin that took over his face and he felt Zayn’s soft lips press against his own. As a reaction, his hands immediately took a hold of the boy’s hips.

 

“Open them,” Zayn murmured. Liam opened his eyes to notice that Zayn had turned the lights off completely and lit the few candles Liam had around his room.

 

“I love you,” Liam chuckled and Zayn bit his lip on a smile. He offered his hand as Elvis sang ‘take my hand’ and Liam pulled him in with a grin. Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and the latter wrapped his own around the younger’s waist. They started swaying around the room in a slow dance with their foreheads pressed together and eyes intently locked on one another. Like nothing else existed outside of this room, outside of each other’s arms.

 

As they swayed in a slow circle Zayn sang along to the lyrics softly. At the second repetition of ‘take my hand,’ Liam spun Zayn out then pulled him back in to dip him. Zayn gasped then giggled as Liam pulled him back up into his arms. Liam felt like his heart was being crushed by an iron fist with the sheer force of the love he felt for Zayn. The boy tucked his head against Liam’s chest and continued to sway in his arms. His warmth between Liam’s arms reminded him of how much he loved this boy. How nothing in this entire world or universe mattered to him but Zayn, and Zayn only.

 

“I love you angel. I love you so much,” Liam murmured and kissed the top of his head.

 

“I love you too meri jaan.” Zayn whispered.

 

The song finished and there was only silence around them, but they continued to dance in slow circles with the moonlight shining in through the windows, the candles flickering in the room, and the intensity of the love they held between their hearts combined.

 

 

**

 

 

It felt like going to sleep and waking up the next morning, only to remember last night’s dreams in hazy context. A blur of happy and sad memories. A whirlwind of emotions. A dream gone by so quickly. The few weeks after the yacht party had flown by at the speed of a hurricane. And now Zayn stood in front of the calendar above his desk and crossed off August 25th feeling overwhelmed at the speed of time, but immensely happy at what it had given him.

 

“Where is time going,” Zayn murmured and recapped his marker.

 

Today was officially the last day of his internship at RED. The internship that had changed his life for the good and given him the most treasured feeling and person in the entire world. Zayn picked up his phone and smiled at his lock screen which was a picture of Liam carrying him fireman style down a street. In the picture, Zayn grinned at the camera behind them and stuck out his tongue while Liam was looking back over his shoulder mid-laugh. They had been leaving the club with some of the other boys and Liam had teasingly thrown Zayn over his shoulder only to have Niall take their picture from behind, calling them idiots. He had been so happy. He was still so happy. So happy that his body could explode from the feeling. The only thing he was sad about was not spending everyday with Liam (or at least near him) because the internship was ending. And next week he and Harry were moving into their dorm room. That feeling caused a whole other stir of nausea and panic. But right now he had other things to focus on.

 

Zayn cleared his throat and turned to look in his mirror. He clicked on the notes app in his phone and pulled up the small speech he had written down. Looking into the mirror with a focused gaze, Zayn took a deep breath.

 

“Maa, Baba. You know I love you both so very much. You’re the greatest parents in the world. And I’m sure you would agree that I’m an exemplary son. Keeping that in mind, I hope you will carefully consider the request I’m about to make. I-“

 

“Zayn! Beta breakfast is ready!” Tricia called from downstairs.

 

“Shoot,” Zayn sighed. “Coming Maa!” He quickly grabbed his bag and put his glasses onto his face, then hurried downstairs.

 

His mom was setting his plate down on the table and his dad was reading the paper while drinking his coffee. Safaa seemed to be snoozing in her bowl of cheerios. Zayn grinned and ruffled her hair then grabbed a glass of juice for himself. His parents were discussing something about his dad’s work and he cleared his throat to try and get their attention. When they didn’t seem to notice, Zayn coughed a little louder.

 

“Allergies beta?” Tricia asked.

 

“What? No- I… do you guys mind sitting for a second. I have something important I need to ask you.” Zayn could feel his fingers trembling so he sipped his juice and kept his hand clenched tightly.

 

“Everything alright?” Yaser looked at him slightly concerned.

 

“Yes, don’t worry. I’m fine. You see…” Zayn fumbled with his phone and looked at the little speech he had written down in his notes. “Maa, Baba. You know I love you both so very much. You’re the greatest parents in the world. And I’m sure you would agree that I’m an exemplary son. Keeping that in mind, I hope you will carefully consider the request I’m about to make. I know it may seem… out there… or lavish… but I plead you to consider this carefully before you make your decision.”

 

“Didn’t know you were running for school president Zayn.” Yaser teased Zayn’s speech and serious stance. Tricia swatted Yaser playfully but she was chuckling as well.

 

“Guys… please just… OK? Let me finish?” Zayn pleaded.

 

“Sorry jaan. Go ahead.” Tricia smiled at him and Yaser seemed to be holding back a laugh. Zayn sighed, exasperated, and started reading his speech again.

 

“Consider this carefully before you make your decision. I know you guys trust me and this decision will be based off a lot of trust. You guys are very protective and I understand that, but I really want to do this and I hope you’ll give me permission. I know I’m an adult and by law can do whatever I want, but this is a desi household and I know I still need your permission and I respect that. So, Maa, Baba… Liam’s birthday is in 4 days. He has a massive party planned in Barcelona. Everyone is going out there on his private jet for a few days. Leaving Sunday. Please, please, please let me go with. He’s my boyfriend and this is his birthday. I want to celebrate with him, all his friends are going, and he really wants me there. I promise nothing bad is going to happen and you guys said yourselves you love Liam. So please, can I?” Zayn finished off his speech and looked up slowly to see his parents looking at him surprised, clearly not expecting that.

 

“Barcelona?” Tricia raised her eyebrows.

 

“I know it sounds outrageous but I swear to you I’m not going to be doing anything crazy. You guys trust me right?” Zayn looked back and forth between them as his parents shared a gaze.

 

“Zayn... we trust you… it’s not about that… this is just… going halfway across the world? To a foreign city with a group of people who thrive off of partying and drinking? I’m not saying this to insult Liam, he’s a wonderful guy. But I am well aware of the lifestyle he and his friends lead. The partying is intense and I don’t know if you should be off in a foreign place… doing things that can trigger your anxiety,” Yaser explained gently.

 

“Baba please…” Zayn felt his voice start to shake.

 

“Zayn. We understand what you’re trying to say but we’re not sure it’s a good idea. You can celebrate Liam’s birthday with him when he gets back,” Tricia tried to reason with him.

 

“It won’t be the same,” Zayn said as anxious tears sprang to his eyes.

 

“Zayn don’t get upset. We just weren’t expecting you to make an announcement like this. How about you go to work and me and you Maa will think about this. OK?” Yaser said and got up to squeeze Zayn’s shoulders.

 

Zayn nodded his head silently and put his phone into his bag. “I should go. I’m getting late. But please, please think about this. And don’t just act like you did and then tell me no.”

 

Tricia laughed and pinched his cheek. “Promise. Now go enjoy your last day of work.”

 

“Keep your promise okay?” Zayn kissed their cheeks then turned to leave. “Khuda hafiz!” he yelled out as he pulled on his shoes then walked out the front door.

 

Harry was supposed to be meeting him at the street corner so they could go to the subway together and Zayn started walking in that direction. He had only just gotten a little ways down the sidewalk from his house, when a black car rolled to a stop in front of him. The door opened and when a man in a black suit stepped out and lifted his sunglasses from his face, Zayn’s heart raced and he smiled so hard that his face almost cracked.

 

“Need a ride gorgeous?” Liam asked with a small smirk.

 

“Liam!” Zayn exclaimed and ran up to the man and jumped into his arms. Liam caught him easily and Zayn wrapped his legs around Liam’s waist. After kissing him breathless, Zayn moved back and grinned widely.

 

“What are you doing here?” Zayn asked.

 

“I had a 7am meeting out here in Brooklyn and I thought I’d see if my sexy little boyfriend needed a ride to work on his last day,” Liam told him and kissed Zayn on the nose. “You look extraordinarily beautiful today. What do you douse yourself in every morning?”  


“Stooopp,” Zayn whined while blushing. “Flatterer.” He wound his arms around Liam’s neck and joined their lips again. “Sexy flatterer.”

 

“It’s all for you angel.” Liam grinned then set Zayn down with one more kiss. “Now come on I have breakfast in the car.”

 

“I love you,” Zayn said and got into the car. “Hi Patrick!”

 

“Morning Zayn.” The man smiled at him in the rear-view mirror.

 

“Do you need to get Harry too?” Liam asked as he settled into his seat.

 

Zayn nodded around a mouthful of muffin and grinned foolishly when Liam chuckled. The man leaned forward and kissed some crumbs off Zayn’s lips.

 

“Just drive down one block Patrick and we should see a wild Harold Styles,” Zayn said.

 

“So how did talking to your parents about Barcelona go? Did the speech work?” Liam teased.

 

“Don’t make fun of my speech!” Zayn glared at Liam. “I’m working on it. They said they’ll think about it.”

 

“Hmm. Baby my point still stands. If you can’t go, I’m not gonna do this trip. I just want you with me on my birthday. I don’t care where I am in this world,” Liam said and pulled Zayn close to kiss him.

 

“Thanks jaan. But you’ve had this planned for so long. Don’t cancel it even if I can’t go,” Zayn said sadly as he leaned his head against Liam’s shoulder.

 

“I could talk to your parents and reassure them that nothing will happen,” Liam offered.

 

“That’s sweet but don’t worry. I’ll figure out a way. But thanks for being understanding. My parents’ permission is something I’m very serious about. Some people laugh at that and tell me I’m an adult and can do whatever I want. But they don’t get that as long as I live with them, their approval and permission is something I need and respect,” Zayn murmured.

 

“I know that my love. That’s why I said Barcelona isn’t the end of the world. I could stay right here. All I need is you.” Liam kissed him on his temple and lightly stroked his hair.

 

“Don’t lie. You want to party, I know you. And I know you’re looking forward to it. My parents will come around hopefully. We have two days.” Zayn sighed and took a sip of the caffeine free Frappuccino Liam had gotten for him.

 

“My place tonight?” Liam asked.

 

“Yes.” Zayn smiled and reached his hand up to stroke Liam’s jaw.

 

“Good. I haven’t had you for a full night all week.” Liam grinned with a promise and kissed him as they pulled to a stop.

 

“What do you have planned?” Zayn questioned as a familiar warmth settled in his gut.

 

“You. Under me. All fucking night long,” Liam answered in a low husky tone and bit Zayn under his jaw.

 

“Daddy Payne? Here in Brooklyn?” Harry gasped as he pulled the door open.

 

“Harry Styles? Cock blocking since day one?” Liam replied in the same taunting tone.

 

“It’s an honourable position to protect my innocent little Zaynie.” Harry grinned and fell onto the seat beside them.

 

“I don’t need protecting. I do need some dicking,” Zayn muttered the last bit under his breath. When Liam snorted with laughter Zayn turned red and Harry kicked him with a sly smile.

 

“Nasty scale is rising. I’m so proud,” Harry smirked.

 

Zayn ignored the comment and stuffed another bite of muffin into his mouth. He leaned into Liam’s side again as he gazed out the window, sending a prayer out into the universe that his parents would agree to the trip.

 

**

 

“And it’s truly been a pleasure working with you guys even if it was just halfway through the internship. But seriously, you guys have been amazing and I wouldn’t have gotten half my work done without all the effort you put into the little things. So thank you so much. And I hope someday you guys might consider applying at RED for a full-time position. If I’m still here, I promise that you’ll get a job.” May finished off and gave them all warm smiles.

 

The last day at work had come to an end and May had come into the room with cupcakes for them all as a thank you for their hard work. She had just been telling them how much she had appreciated their work, while the four of them stood around and listened to her. Many other employees had also popped in to say goodbye to them as well. Zayn looked around the room at all the people he had gotten to know over the past two months and felt that he would truly miss them all. Despite the ups and downs of the past two months, he had come to love working at RED. Thinking about leaving was causing his heart to twist in a way he hadn’t expected.

 

“I really don’t care if this is inappropriate or whatever but I’m gonna give you all hugs. I’m gonna genuinely miss you guys.” May came over and hugged them all one by one. When she hugged Zayn, she gave him a tiny smile and whispered into his ear, “although I might still continue to see you up on the 50th floor?”

 

“Umm…” Zayn flushed and May laughed. She patted his arm and gave him a tiny wink.

 

“Feel free to stop by and say hi anytime. And I hope you guys enjoy the rest of your summers and have a great time in college whether you’re returning or starting new. Good luck with everything guys.” She smiled at them one last time and then left.

 

“I’m really gonna miss her, she’s brilliant. And you guys too!” Serayah pulled Zayn and Harry both into hugs. “Text me when you’re on campus and we’ll meet up okay?”

 

“Will do babe.” Harry kissed her cheek and Zayn gave her a smile.

 

They even hugged Amanda, who had brought them all gifts, and said their goodbyes. Then the two girls packed up their stuff and took the elevator to go down and out of the building. Zayn waited as Harry said goodbye to a few more people around the office (the boy could make friends with anyone). When the elevators eventually opened for them, they found Liam and Niall inside.

 

“Hey interns, what’s up? Any tears on the last day?” Niall asked as they got in.

 

“Harry cried when he hugged Mr. Finnigan,” Zayn said with a grin and darted over to Liam’s side as Harry reached out to pinch him.

 

“It was only a few tears ‘cus he’s such a nice little old man who makes these fucking awesome chocolate chip cookies.” Harry stuck his tongue out at Zayn who giggled from the safety of Liam’s arms.

 

“Isn’t he the grey-haired man who heads my finances department for RED?” Liam asked.

 

“Yes and he’s the absolute sweetest,” Harry informed them.

 

“I think he’s married Harry,” Liam teased.

 

“Not like that!” Harry huffed, annoyed, and they all laughed at him.

 

“What’s your status on Barcelona?” Niall questioned.

 

“Working on it.” Zayn sighed and tilted his head up so Liam could kiss him.

 

“Don’t tell me no peanut, I’ll drag you there,” Niall stated as they walked out of the elevator.

 

“I’m trying Niall,” Zayn groaned. Liam wrapped an arm around his waist and kissed his head as they walked through the lobby towards the exit.

 

“Don’t stress baby. Your parents will come through,” Liam said as they all got into his car as Patrick pulled up.

 

“I hope so,” Zayn mumbled.

 

**

 

It was much later that evening and Liam was in his living room playing FIFA with Niall and Harry while Zayn was taking a shower. They had come back to Liam’s apartment and ordered takeout, then watched television as Niall told Liam about some of his plans for Barcelona. Around twenty of Liam’s closest friends were going on the trip. More than half of them were going on Liam’s private jet while the rest were grabbing flights out later whenever they could. It was all pretty settled but Liam worried that Zayn wouldn’t end up going. None of this mattered if Zayn wasn’t with him on the day of his birthday. He wanted Zayn there with him in the gorgeous beach house he had rented in Barcelona. He wanted the love of his life with him on his birthday, and no matter how much Zayn urged it, he wouldn’t go if Zayn couldn’t.

 

“27 is a big year and it deserves a massive celebration. Barcelona will happen and if Zee can’t come I’ll kidnap him personally,” Niall said, followed by a shout as Liam scored over him. 

 

“Its more complicated than that Niall. He respects his parent’s decision which I in turn respect. And I’m not going if Zayn isn’t with me.” Liam drained his beer bottle and handed his controller to Harry to let him continue playing against Niall.

 

“Tricia and Yaser are awesome parents. They’ll eventually come around,” Harry reassured them.

 

“I don’t know if Zayn mentioned it, but you’re invited too Harry. You know that right?” Liam asked.

 

“Yeah Zayn mentioned it. And thanks Liam. But unfortunately, my mom will only say yes if Zayn’s parents do,” Harry said with dejection in his voice.

 

“If my parents what?” Zayn walked into the room, fresh from the shower, wearing Liam’s comfy red hoodie and sweats, his damp hair falling across his forehead. He was holding a book and his glasses in his hand as he padded over to the couch that Liam was on and fell onto the opposite side. He stretched his legs into Liam’s lap and Liam squeezed his feet tenderly.

 

“Let you go to Barcelona,” Harry replied.

 

“Oh,” Zayn mumbled. “I texted my mom and her reply seemed off. She said they’re still talking about it but not to get my hopes up.”

 

“You know baby, maybe I should talk to them. I’ll reassure them that they have nothing to worry about. We won’t be doing anything illegal. Just a few parties and mostly just chilling out,” Liam said.

 

“What a loud of bullshit. You always party hard Liam,” Niall cackled.

 

“Umm. FYI, it’s probably not even the alcohol or partying stuff that Tricia and Yaser are worried about. All they probably heard from Zayn’s mouth was ‘my boyfriend’s 27th birthday in Barcelona,’ and they must’ve had heart attacks. Their precious son’s _older_ boyfriend wants to take him away to Barcelona for his wild birthday party which will probably involve kinky birthday sex. That’s not a picture parents need. And no matter what reassurances you give, they’re not dumb. Birthday vacation away in Barcelona? Nobody is gonna be sober or celibate,” Harry laughed.

 

“Thanks Haz.” Zayn answered in a deadpan voice and rolled his eyes.

 

Liam smirked at Zayn and squeezed his foot which made Zayn blush and sink further into the couch, raising his book over his face to avoid looking at Liam.

 

“Birthday sex on the beach,” Liam murmured in a low voice. He saw the tips of Zayn’s ears turn pink and he smiled and started massaging Zayn’s foot for him. Zayn sighed happily and pushed his foot further into Liam’s touch.

 

“Would it be so wrong to still go if they said no?” Niall asked curiously.

 

“Yes,” Zayn said. “It’s hard to explain but my parents’ say is the final word. I know you probably grew up differently but I won’t do something if my parents say no.”

 

“Fair enough. Let’s just think of a way to convince them,” Niall mused.

 

“Maybe we can ask Doniya to intervene on your behalf?” Liam offered.

 

“Maybe…” Zayn said and stared absent mindedly at his book with scrunched up eyebrows.

 

Liam lifted Zayn’s foot ad kissed every toe then kissed all over the top of it. Zayn broke out of his daze and smiled at him which prompted Liam to press even more loving kisses across Zayn’s foot.

 

“Bro why are you kissing his foot? That’s nasty,” Niall said with a strange look in their direction.

 

“Hey! my feet are clean.” Zayn pouted.

 

“One, his feet are clean. Two, even if they weren’t I wouldn’t care. You know why? Because that’s love bitch,” Liam said. Zayn got up from his side of the couch to curl up in the tiny space between Liam and the back of the couch, with his head resting on Liam’s chest. He grabbed the throw blanket and draped it over their bodies to further hide away under the covers.

 

“Need me a freak like that,” Harry sighed dramatically.

 

“Love seems nice I guess,” Niall said while looking at the two of them lying on the sofa. They were under the blanket, with Zayn cuddled up securely half on top of Liam, who was running his fingers through Zayn’s damp hair and kissing him across his face.

 

“Best feeling in the world,” Zayn murmured and nuzzled into Liam’s chest. They watched Niall and Harry play for a while and Zayn was starting to drift off to sleep when his phone rang loudly. He jerked awake, wide eyed from the loud sound. He looked around confusedly, so Liam grabbed his phone for him and saw ‘Baba’ on the screen with a picture of Yaser.

 

“It’s your dad Zayn.” Liam handed him the phone and Zayn sat up to answer the phone.

 

“Baba?” Zayn said as he picked up the phone. “Yes at Liam’s… what?... why?... okay…” Zayn turned to Liam and offered his phone. “Baba wants to talk to you.”

 

Liam gave Zayn a confused look then took the phone and pressed it to his ear. “Yaser, how are you?”

 

“Fine thanks Liam. How’s everything with you?” Yaser replied from the other end.

 

“All good. Something wrong?” Liam asked.

 

“No no, nothing to panic about. Just wanted to ask you about your birthday trip. Zayn mentioned it,” Yaser started off.

 

“Yes. In Barcelona.” Liam noticed Zayn was watching him with anxiety raging in his eyes and Liam pulled him forward to kiss his forehead.

 

“I hope you understand that our hesitation isn’t aimed at you and there’s no mistrust on your side. We’re just worried about that certain environment, Zayn in it and things that could set off his anxiety,” Yaser said.

 

“I promise you that I would never compromise Zayn’s health and take him anywhere that’s bad for his anxiety. I rented a beach house for the few days we plan on spending there and it’ll mostly be relaxed other than one or two parties but I promise that I wouldn’t let any uncomfortable situation arise for Zayn. It’s all safe I swear. And I’ll always protect him with my life,” Liam explained to him with sincerity.  

 

Yaser was silent for a moment then he chuckled. “Zayn’s right, you are charming with your words. I don’t want Zayn to be upset with me for saying no so I’m gonna trust that you’ll take care of him out there. I want Zayn to be able to have this last trip before he starts college. He deserves a break.”

 

“He really does.” Liam smiled and he noticed Zayn’s eyes light up.

 

“Alright. Lighten my son’s stress and tell him he can go, will you? And I hope you have fun Liam,” Yaser said.

 

“Will do Yaser. Take care.” Liam shut the phone and put it down on the side. He could feel Zayn vibrating nervous energy beside him and Niall and Harry watching him with curiosity too.

 

“Sooo… birthday sex on the beach?” Liam asked with a grin.

 

Zayn squealed with happiness and threw himself on top of Liam. They collapsed back onto the sofa and Liam laughed as Zayn kissed him messy and full of excitement.

 

“I love you! I love you! I love you!” Zayn exclaimed breathlessly.

 

“I told you all I had to do was talk to your dad. He called me charming,” Liam chuckled.

 

“You are.” Zayn smiled and kissed him again.

 

“Barce-fucking-lonaaaa!” Niall hooted and tossed his controller into the air.

 

“Birthday sex on the beach,” Zayn whispered with flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes.

 

Liam smirked and flipped them over so Zayn was pinned underneath him. He swooped down and caught Zayn’s lips in a kiss which caused the boy to moan out loud.

 

“Birthday sex on the beach baby,” Liam replied with a smirk that held promises of wild times to come in the next few days.

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you reading! I hope you liked it! The next chapter is Liam's birthday trip in Barcelona and I have loads of stuff planned (fluff and smut and fun times) so it'll hopefully be an enjoyable one for you guys! And if I don't reach my estimated chapter word count on just Barcelona I will also have the zayn and harry moving into their dorm stuff in chap14, otherwise chap15. That's where the second half of the fic officially starts :) I can't even believe I'm roughly halfway through the fic already? I will be quite emotional when it's over. But for now theres a still long way to go and a hell of a ride I have planned with angst, and that plotline starts after zayn and harry start at NYU and are officially into their student life. i don't like giving things away but I do drop a little bit of foreshadowing here and there. Also, I'm still hoping that I'm not boring you guys who may be waiting for drama by making these chapters so long and mostly full of happy stuff, but I think you guys might appreciate it when angst hits later on lol. Once again thank you for being so lovely to me as always, i love you all <33
> 
> p.s. fingers crossed that chap 14 doesn't take too long to complete cus i'm already writing it
> 
> (the urdu words in this chap have been repeated in earlier chapters, nothing new, so I didn't think I needed a translated list)


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, back again with an update :) I hope you like this 22k words of fun in Barcelona. Thanks for being so kind and supportive as always. I love you guys and honestly I'm really motivated these days to write so I keep going. The next 2 weeks I have exams so I might take some time with chap15 (but maybe I'll be quicker, I'm not too sure). But I hope you enjoy this chapter!! :)
> 
> Disclaimer: While I set this in Barcelona, I don't know much about the city other than seeing it in movies and some google searches. I was vague with the descriptions of places on purpose since I didn't have time to google specific places and map it out. I tried my best but please ignore any errors about location since this is a work of fiction :)
> 
> **WARNING: I wasn't sure if I should include a TW for this chapter but then I realized it's better to be safe in case some people don't like certain sexual scenarios and would have liked a warning so they could have skipped it. so if you don't mind some spoilers and would like a warning, in this chap there is an instance where person A gives person B a blowjob as person B is sleeping but with the intention of waking them up. and another scene where bondage is involved (tying someone down during sex) with some dom/sub dynamics in play. If any of that is triggering or not your cup of tea, skip the morning of Liam's birthday for the blowjob scenario and his birthday night for the second scenario.

 

 

His dream was quite vivid. For some reason, Zayn saw himself scuba-diving with Liam. They were deep in the ocean surrounded by a colourful array of fish, swimming through them whilst holding hands. It was when Liam removed their masks to kiss him underwater and say ‘I love you angel,’ that Zayn saw the shark swoop in out of nowhere. He tried to scream in the dream but no sound came out and he watched as the shark snapped Liam in half.

 

Zayn awoke with a start and sat upright, his heart was pound uncontrollably and his body was shaking life a leaf. He took a few breaths to calm himself and looked to the side for Liam but the man wasn’t there. Zayn ran his hand over the spot which was cold, indicating that Liam had been up for some time. Zayn rubbed his eyes and looked towards the tall windows where the early signs of sunrise were showing. He had no idea why Liam was already out of bed but he had a feeling he would be in his gym. Liam had been awake late last night working and Zayn worried that he was stressed out, especially with the new Vegas deal. They were leaving for Barcelona in a few hours and Liam’s birthday celebrations would officially kick off. But he hoped Liam wasn’t too stressed out to enjoy his trip.

 

Zayn got up from bed and decided to go see where Liam was. He wandered into Liam’s walk in closet to find a jumper or shirt to pull on over the boxer briefs he had fallen asleep in. Zayn walked past the endless shelves in the closet to the side where he knew he’d find something, but his eyes caught on something more interesting. He headed over to a back shelf and reached up to touch the black and golden football jersey hung neatly on a hanger. He turned it around and saw the number 29 and PAYNE. This was Liam’s old football jersey from his days of playing. Zayn touched the silky material and smiled as he imagined Liam all geared up and playing in front of thousands of people. It was so different from the image Zayn was so used to. Of Liam in crisp and expensive suits, heading a massive corporation.

Zayn suddenly had an idea, and wanting to see Liam’s reaction, he slipped the jersey over his head. It was massive on him and he felt like he was pretty much drowning in it. It fell mid-way down his thighs and it was slipping off one of his shoulders as well. Looking at himself in the mirror, Zayn grinned but felt his cheeks redden because well... he quite liked seeing himself in Liam’s jersey with his name across his back. It stirred something warm in his gut and made wild thoughts spring into his mind. He left the room and padded downstairs barefoot to go to the gym. As he got closer, he heard muffled music. Opening the doors to the gym, he realized Liam was listening to some Kendrick Lamar as he boxed. And that…

 

Zayn closed the doors behind him slowly and stepped further into the room as he kept his eyes locked on Liam. The man hadn’t noticed Zayn yet and was completely absorbed with his boxing. He was shirtless and wearing just shorts. His body was covered in a sheen of sweat and his hair was falling across his forehead. His hands were wearing his black boxing gloves and he was pounding the punching bag with determination. Zayn walked to the side and leaned against a table to gain some balance and watched Liam for a few seconds.

 

“You’re so fucking hot…” Zayn said in a daze.

 

Liam grabbed the bag and turned to Zayn in surprise. He gazed at him silently for a few seconds as he took in Zayn’s appearance. The latter who was leaning against the table in just Liam’s jersey, which was riding up his thighs and exposing an expanse of skin. Zayn watched amusedly as Liam dragged his eyes up Zayn’s body from his feet to his face. When he locked eyes with Zayn, his gaze was dark and he smirked slowly.

 

“Am I?” Liam asked with a raised brow.

 

“Mhm. Inhumanely sexy. And it’s all mine.” Zayn bit his lip and grinned at Liam as he hopped onto the table to sit down.

 

“Did you wake up and decide you would tease the fuck out of me today?” Liam asked nonchalantly and went back to boxing.

 

Zayn frowned, not expecting Liam’s reaction. He thought seeing him in the jersey would set Liam off. But apparently not. Or maybe he was doing some teasing of his own.  

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Zayn said innocently. He leaned back on his arms so the shoulder of the jersey slipped off more and his bare legs were in Liam’s direct view.

 

Liam continued to rain hits on the punching bag but glanced at Zayn with a raised brow and gave him a full body scan as if to say ‘really?’ But his eyes betrayed some of his heightening desire as they lingered on Zayn’s bare thighs.

 

“I call you angel but you’re well aware of how devilish you can be baby,” Liam snickered.

 

“You’ve made me like this. I’m a little bit spoiled by your love and attention.” Zayn grinned and swung his legs back and forth as he let his eyes roam over Liam’s muscled body. The strain of his muscles, covered in sweat, was causing blood to rush down to his dick. There was no bigger turn on than watching Liam work out and _specifically_ box.

 

When Liam just laughed and went back to boxing, Zayn sighed and realized he needed to kick it up a notch if he wanted Liam to really… appreciate him… right now. He hopped off the table and went over to where Liam had placed the tablet that controlled his music system. It was one of those fancier systems where you could choose to play the music throughout the whole house or select one room right from the device. Zayn scrolled through the music selection and found what he was looking for. He chose the option for the whole penthouse and clicked play.

 

As the song started, Zayn turned around to look at Liam. The man paused in the middle of boxing and gave Zayn a smirk that held amusement and interest.

“Ariana?” Liam asked without any surprise.

 

Zayn simply shrugged and set the tablet down. He grinned at Liam and circled around the gym as Ariana sang _‘anytime I’m alone, I can’t help thinking about you.’_ Zayn made sure to mouth along to the lyrics while gazing directly at Liam and smiling playfully. Zayn ran his fingers along the table and turned around making sure to give Liam a view of his thighs from behind as well (he knew the man had an obsession with them). 

 

Walking over to the wall, Zayn turned and faced Liam while leaning back against the wall, one foot propped up against the wall. To his thrill, Liam had stopped boxing and was watching him intently as he took off his gloves and slowly unwrapped the white gauze from his hands.

 

 _‘He’s giving me that good shit, that make me not quit… that good shit.’_ Zayn made sure he kept his eyes locked with Liam as he ran his hand up his own thigh and lifted Liam’s jersey to expose his body from his briefs to his stomach. Then he licked his lips and bit them while blinking his eyelashes ever so slowly in the way that drove Liam mental.  Liam’s pupils darkened and his jaw tightened. Liam moved at the speed of lightning, because right as Future sang the chorus _‘everyday, everyday, everyday,’_ Liam had whisked up to Zayn and thrown him back against the wall roughly, his hands pinned back and his mouth attacked in a biting kiss.

 

Zayn grinned triumphantly and wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck tightly. He opened his mouth to invite Liam’s tongue in and let it stroke against his own in heated passion. Liam grabbed the underside of his thighs and hoisted him up with ease till Zayn wrapped his legs around Liam’s waist. The man pressed him back further while pinning his hands above his head. Zayn moaned desperately and started grinding forward. Liam grabbed his jaw and shook his head while smirking. Zayn whined desperately and Liam ducked down to suck and bite along the shoulder that was exposed from the oversized jersey.

 

‘ _Breathe me in, breathe me out, feel me I’m running through your veins.’_ Zayn sang along and grinned as Liam squeezed his ass and turned around swiftly to deposit Zayn on the table.

 

“Everyday and better than anyone else ever could baby boy.” Liam smirked and raised Zayn’s legs to put it over his shoulders. He pushed the jersey up and leaned down to mouth along Zayn’s torso and the hard-on in his briefs. Zayn groaned in desperate pleasure and Liam winked at him from where he was kissing his thighs.

 

“Baabbee…” Zayn sighed loudly. Suddenly Liam jerked him up into a sitting position and captured his lips in a passionate kiss again.

 

 _‘I put that work on you everyday when the night fall till the sun comes, you done fell in love with a bad guy, I don’t compromise my passion.’_ Liam sang along to the rap as he kissed along Zayn’s neck.

 

Zayn laughed and wound his limbs around Liam. “You do know the song!”

 

“Of course I do baby.” Liam smirked and quickly scooped Zayn up. As their mouths met in a kiss again, Liam started walking out of the gym and upstairs to his master bathroom.

 

“We ‘bout to take us a vacation.” Zayn grinned teasingly and sang along as they walked into the bathroom with Liam kissing him along the bottom of his jaw.

 

“I’m about to put all this vintage loving on you, baby like it was like the late 80s, when you ride on me baby rotate it.” Liam sang the final verse of the rap with a teasing smile and squeezed Zayn’s ass at the ‘ride on me’ part. Zayn couldn’t help but giggle and Liam ripped off his jersey and briefs and stepped out of his own shorts. Turning the water on, he stepped into the shower and set Zayn down.

 

Zayn watched Liam and started breathing more heavily. Liam stood under the spray of the shower and watched Zayn with dark eyes and a playful smirk. He ran his hand through his wet hair and motioned Zayn with one finger to turn around. Zayn’s breath got caught in his throat but he slowly turned around and pressed his hands to the glass wall of the shower. There was barely a beat before Liam pushed Zayn further up against the glass and dropped to his knees behind him. Zayn gasped loudly as Liam spread his cheeks and started licking at his entrance.

 

“Oh my fuck… Liam!” Zayn screamed out and in his effort to grasp at something for support, he knocked bottles of shampoo and shower gel off from the marble shelves on the side. None of the dropped items or Zayn’s shaking legs seemed to bother Liam who buried his face into Zayn’s ass and pushed his tongue into his hole.

 

Liam used his tongue and one finger to turn Zayn into a screaming, crying mess. When Zayn felt like he was about to collapse to the shower floor, Liam pressed a few kisses to the round of his ass and up his back as he stood up. Zayn panted against the glass wall of the shower and then Liam spun him around to kiss him. Pulling Zayn under the spray of the shower too, Liam kissed him breathless. Zayn curled his body up against Liam and clutched desperately at his back as they kissed passionately under the spray of the water.

 

“You know what…” Liam suddenly picked Zayn up and turned the water off to walk back out. They were both soaking wet and dripping water all over the floor as Liam walked them into the bedroom. He tossed Zayn onto the bed then climbed on top of him swiftly.

 

“Jaan-“ Zayn moaned as Liam caught his lips in a heated kiss.

 

“Baby boy even acting like I wasn’t affected by seeing you in my jersey was impossible. Seeing my jersey on you, my name across your back, and you acting like a little tease… it drove me mental.” Liam flipped him onto his stomach and Zayn gasped.

 

“Fuck me,” Zayn sighed. “Please Liam.”

 

“Mmmm. Well someone was acting like a bit of a tease so I don’t know…” Liam murmured and bit his earlobe.

 

“No babe please! I’ll be so good for you, so good,” Zayn whined and tried to push back against Liam’s hard length which was pressed against his backside.

 

Liam held down his hips and started kissing along his neck. “You are good baby. So fucking good.”

 

Zayn was shaking below him so Liam reached over to his drawer to grab the lube. He then wasted no time in tending to the fire raging in both of their veins.

 

When they were both catching their breath later, Zayn glanced at the clock and realized they needed to get ready and leave for the airport soon.

 

“We have to get going now. Everyone will be getting to the airport soon,” Zayn murmured and rubbed his fingers along Liam’s chest.

 

“Mmm. And take an actual shower now before we leave,” Liam chuckled.

 

“How many times have we interrupted our showers to start having sex?” Zayn giggled.

 

“Too many. And it’s not about to stop because I can’t resist you. Now come on.” Liam got up from the bed and took Zayn’s hands to help him up. “I still need to finish packing and we have to get ready and get to the jet within two hours.”

 

“And breakfast,” Zayn said as his stomach grumbled.

 

“And breakfast,” Liam laughed and wrapped Zayn in his arms to kiss his forehead and lips.

 

 

**

 

“Ghosts, real or not real?” Zayn asked.

 

“Hmmm. I’m divided on that one. But probably not real,” Liam answered.

 

They were at the runway where Liam’s jet was waiting, but since none of Liam’s friends were here yet, they were just waiting in the car. Zayn had started talking about paranormal incidents and when Liam had said he wasn’t sure if it was real, Zayn was so offended he started playing real or not real with Liam to ask him about things like ghosts and conspiracy theories.

 

Zayn narrowed his eyes and sucked on the straw of his Frappuccino. Liam raised an eyebrow waiting for the next one and Zayn said, “I’ll change your mind about ghosts soon enough. Aliens?”

 

“Real. I think Area 51 is definitely hiding something there,” Liam replied.

 

“Correct!” Zayn beamed and he got up from the passenger seat to straddle Liam and stumbled a little bit only to hit his head.

 

“Owww!” Zayn pouted and Liam chuckled fondly and kissed his downturned lips.

 

“You literally trip over air sometimes baby it’s amusing.” Liam rubbed his chin between his thumb and forefinger and kissed his nose.

 

“That’s another conspiracy theory. The universe wants to embarrass me whenever I’m around my boyfriend so it has me trip and fall like an idiot,” Zayn huffed.

 

“You’re not an idiot. You are adorable though.” Liam grinned and kissed his cheek.

 

Zayn smiled at him just as his phone went off. Liam saw that it was his friend Luke and he picked up.

 

“Yeah Luke?” Liam answered as Zayn moved back into his seat and turned the radio on. “Been here for 20 minutes now how long are you gonna take?”

 

“Five minutes Li. I’m with Niall and Tom. They have Zayn’s friend with them too. Just wanted to let you know and to also tell you that the other guys are right along with us,” Luke replied.

 

“Alright. See you bro,” Liam said then shut his phone.

 

“I don’t know if you could take it. Know you wanna see me nakey nakey naked,” Zayn sang along with Rihanna and danced in his seat. “I wanna be your baby, baby, baby.” Zayn pointed at Liam and grinned.

 

When Liam reached forward to kiss him, Zayn turned the volume up to blast it and jumped from the car. “Wild, wild, wild.” He danced in front of the car then came up to Liam’s window and smiled brightly at him. “When I’m with you all I get is wild thoughts.”

 

Liam cupped the back of Zayn’s head and tugged him forward to kiss him through the window. Zayn smiled against his lips and pulled back to whisper ‘wild wild wild.’ Liam grinned and opened the door to jump from the car. He grabbed Zayn and pinned him against the car door to kiss him senseless. They were so absorbed in their kissing that they didn’t hear cars approaching until a loud honk ripped through the air. Zayn pulled back from Liam and looked behind them to see two cars pulling up. They had barely pulled to a stop when a door flew open and Miguel hopped out.

 

“How much of that are we going to have to witness on the plane ride? Not that I’m complaining.” Miguel winked at Zayn as he pulled Liam into a hug and thumped his back.

 

“The room in the back of the jet exists for a reason Mig. To get away from your perverted gaze.” Liam smacked his head as he returned the hug.

 

“Touche. Look what Niall has.” Miguel turned around and hollered at Niall to hurry up. Niall was unloading stuff from the trunk with the help of Tom and Harry. Luke, Ameera, Josh, Naudia and Vince were also getting out of the cars with their luggage.

 

“You’re gonna love this Payno!” Tom yelled out as he and Niall unloaded some black shopping bags from the trunk.

 

“What is it?” Liam inquired as they approached him.

 

“This is so fucking cheesy but honestly we wanted to do something cheesy to kick start your birthday celebrations. And so we made these for everyone on the trip.” Niall grinned and pulled a dark green bomber jacket out of the bag and turned it around. It had ‘PAYNE’ written across the back and a ‘27’ underneath. Liam burst out laughing and tugged Niall into a hug.

 

“You’re right, it is cheesy, but who am I to talk about cheesy? I love it Ni. Thanks man.” Liam tugged the jacket on then turned around and grinned at Zayn. “You know baby since you love my name across your back so much, you should put this on.”

 

Zayn turned red and looked away from Niall’s smirk. “It’s your birthday you should keep it on.”

 

“We have one for everyone peanut,” Tom said and tossed him one.

 

“This old man is turning 27!” Ameera came over and wrapped her arms around Liam’s waist to hug him. Liam smiled and kissed her head as he tugged on her jacket and gave her a look.

 

Zayn pulled the jacket on and looked in the side mirror of the car to try and inspect his appearance. He felt an arm around his waist and looked up to see Liam smiling down at him. Liam bent his head to kiss Zayn on the lips.

 

“You look good,” he murmured and kissed Zayn on his cheekbone too. Zayn smiled back and turned around to kiss Liam properly.

 

“Flirty boys! I need a picture.” Zayn turned to see Liam’s friend Naudia gesturing at them to join everyone else in front of the jet. They all had their ‘PAYNE’ jackets on as well.

 

Liam groaned but when Naudia gave him a look that meant that she wasn’t gonna listen to a no, they joined everyone else. After Naudia took group shots of everyone with their backs to the camera and facing forward as well, she let them go onto the jet. But then she insisted on taking a few of just Liam and Zayn calling them ‘adorable.’ Zayn felt embarrassed and turned away to push his face into Liam’s chest after she cooed at them a few too many times. Liam laughed and kissed his head then forced Naudia to quit taking pictures so they could board the jet and leave.

 

Going onto the jet, Zayn was confronted with the image of most of Liam’s friends sprawled across the seats, yelling and arguing about something as Miguel popped open a bottle of champagne, claiming he needed mimosas without the orange juice. Zayn looked at them in amusement then ambled to the back of the jet where Harry and Ameera were sitting side by side as Harry showed her the features of one of his fancy cameras.

 

“Hazzle,” Zayn smiled at his best friend and sat in the seat in front of Harry, stretching his legs across to rest in Harry’s lap.

 

“Hey boo.” Harry squeezed his ankle and grinned. “Can you believe we’re about to go to Barcelona? One country knocked off my bucket list.”

 

“How long is this bucket list?” Ameera asked.

 

“Oh it’s the whole world. He says countries to give the impression that it’s very less and he isn’t being too extravagant.” Zayn laughed teasingly.

 

“Laugh all you want. I know who I won’t be taking with me to Singapore.” Harry knocked Zayn’s foot off his lap.

 

Zayn just laughed and got up to throw himself into Harry’s lap and hug him while kissing his head. “Don’t be a baby. We’re gonna go to all those countries together one day. When we’re earning enough money and done college most likely.”

 

“Unless if you’re too busy with your boyfriend then too.” Harry teased and flicked Zayn’s nose.

 

Zayn flushed but smiled at the same time and leaned up a little too peek over the seats. He could see Liam at the front of the of the jet looking at Naudia’s phone with her as she probably showed him the pictures. Liam pointed at something and laughed brightly which made butterflies erupt in Zayn’s stomach. God, he loved him so fucking much.

 

“You’re blushing just at the mention of Liam’s name and it’s so adorable.” Ameera laughed affectionately and ruffled Zayn’s hair.

 

“Speaking of.” Harry turned his phone around to show Zayn his screen. Zayn took Harry’s phone and noticed that it was on Liam’s Instagram page. There had been two pictures uploaded just now. One was a group picture from outside where everyone was in front of the jet with their backs to the camera, showing off the ‘PAYNE’ and ’27’ on their jackets. Liam had captioned it #ringingin27instyle. Zayn grinned as he saw Niall and Miguel had both already commented ‘Barcelona’ in caps lock underneath it. The second picture made Zayn’s cheeks heat up as he noticed it was one of just him and Liam. Zayn had his back to the camera and was hugging Liam with his face buried in his chest. The ‘PAYNE’ and ‘27’ was standing out across Zayn’s back and Liam was grinning at the camera while holding Zayn tightly. He had captioned it ‘Camera shy my bambi eyes.’

 

“Awww!” Harry cackled and poked Zayn’s cheeks. Zayn smacked him and scrolled nervously through the comments to see hundreds of people already commenting things like ‘who is bambi eyes?’ or ‘oh my God that’s so cute!’ or even ‘I can’t believe he’s dating someone new.’

 

“Hashtag find bambi eyes,” Ameera read one of the comments out loud and laughed.

 

“People are super curious but Liam didn’t tag you and you can’t see your face at all,” Harry said.

 

“I can see that.” Zayn felt a little nervous with so much speculation on his identity. But he knew Liam was a celebrity and that he had millions of followers and fans who knew about his life. If they were to be together, eventually Zayn would be found out by the public too. But he was thankful that Liam had made sure Zayn always stayed out of tabloid pictures and gossip articles. This was the first picture of Zayn on Liam’s social media but he had carefully chosen one where Zayn’s face wasn’t visible and he wasn’t tagged. Zayn realized he felt surprisingly okay with it and maybe soon enough he would be okay with his face being out there too.

 

“Could you please buckle up?” The air stewardess politely asked them then moved to the front of the jet to tell the others the same.

 

Zayn moved back over to the seat across from Harry and when he was buckling his belt, familiar tattooed hands covered his and helped him. He looked up and Liam smiled at him then cupped his face to kiss him.

 

“I know the last time we were on this jet you were really nervous about flying so I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Liam said in a soft tone. He rubbed the pad of his thumb across the sharp of Zayn’s cheekbone then kissed the same spot lightly.

 

“Thanks jaan,” Zayn whispered. He looped his arms through Liam’s and tucked his face against his arm. Liam kissed the top of his head and hugged him close to his body. “I saw the Instagram post.”

 

“Are you okay with it? I can delete it if you aren’t,” Liam said and tilted his face up.

 

“I’m okay with it. You can’t see my face anyways.” Zayn smiled and angled his face for a kiss. Liam smiled fondly and complied with several kisses.

 

“I would love to show you off to the world angel. But only when you’re ready,” Liam murmured.

 

Zayn just smiled and rested his head against Liam to try and relax as the plane started heading down the runway. Harry was smiling warmly at him and he mouthed ‘I love you.’ Zayn smiled confusedly then mouthed ‘I love you too’ back at Harry.

 

 

**

 

“This is fucking insane! Well done Payno!” Miguel smacked Liam on the back.

 

They had just entered the beach house that Liam had rented out in Barcelona and everyone was looking around in awe. It was a stunning white stone and glass house with a private beach out back. The white sandy beach faced the turquoise coloured water of the Mediterranean Sea. There was also a pool and hot tub on the back deck as well. Liam had rented this house not just for the beauty of it but also for the secluded beach out back. They could have all the fun they wanted without having to hassle on a public beach. It was around sunset time in Barcelona as they arrived, and the setting golden sun over the ocean looked extraordinarily beautiful. 

 

“I call that bedroom over there!” Tom bellowed and pointed to a bedroom off the side of the living room.

 

“Take any room you want except the master bedroom!” Liam called out to his friends. “Zayn.” Liam motioned to Zayn, who was looking out the back doors, to follow him. Zayn picked up his bags and followed Liam to the second level. The master bedroom was at the end of the top floor. It was complete with a canopy bed that had sheer curtains around it. Massive windows looked out over the beach and sea. There were doors leading to a balcony which had steps that walked directly out onto the beach. The view was simply breathtaking.

 

“Wow,” Zayn breathed and looked out the window at the beach below.

 

Liam flopped back across the bed and grinned at the boy. “What do you want to do first my love?”

 

“You probably have a lot of things planned. I- I don’t really know what to suggest.” Zayn shrugged and smiled at him.

 

“There’s nothing you specifically want to do these next few days? We’re in Barcelona baby. You should take advantage of this opportunity,” Liam replied.

 

Zayn seemed to consider this for a few moments then he grinned at Liam and stepped towards the bed. He climbed onto the bed and pulled the rope dangling beside the bed curtains. The sheer curtains tumbled down and closed the bed off from the rest of the room. They were enclosed in the wispy transparency of the curtains. Zayn moved forward on his knees and straddled Liam.

 

“I just want to be with you,” Zayn whispered and leaned down to peck Liam’s lips. “But umm… it would be nice to see some of the famous attractions around the city. Maybe some of the old buildings… there’s this monastery…”

 

Liam wrapped his arms around Zayn’s waist and tugged him down gently till they were lying side by side. Zayn nuzzled his nose against Liam’s which made the man smile affectionately at him.

 

“Of course angel.” Liam left a trail of kisses along the side of his face and rubbed the strip of skin exposed above Zayn’s jeans. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too,” Zayn replied softly. He leaned forward and moulded his lips with Liam’s to kiss him. Liam, always weak to the touch and taste of Zayn’s soft lips, pulled him closer and turned the kiss deeper.

 

“Payno!” The door was thrown open and suddenly there were two bodies flying onto the bed.

 

“Niall! Miguel! What the fuck! Knock you animals!” Liam glared at his friends who just smirked back at him and shot him and Zayn knowing looks.  Meanwhile Zayn was pulling his shirt down with an embarrassed look.

 

“I’m sorry Li. I told them,” Ameera apologized as she entered the room too.

 

“Listen, you guys can christen this room later. We’re all starving and there’s no food here. Let’s go into town and get some dinner,” Niall said and rolled over to rest his head on Liam’s stomach.

 

“Fine. Find something good and get everyone else ready. We’ll be down in 10-15 minutes.” Liam pushed Niall away and snapped his fingers in the direction of the door with a glare.

 

“Fine. 10 minutes. We better not come back up here to find you balls deep in Zayn,” Miguel warned.

 

“What?!” Zayn stuttered out, horrified at Miguel’s crudeness.

 

“Get out dickhead!” Liam pushed him off the bed along with a cackling Niall. Ameera rolled her eyes at them and dragged Niall and Miguel out while shooting Liam and Zayn apologetic looks.

 

“You’d think they were a bunch of toddlers instead of grown ass men.” Liam snorted as they left the room.

 

“We should get ready for dinner.” Zayn still looked quite embarrassed and he shuffled over to his suitcase to pull out some clothes.

 

“And shower.” Liam said in a suggestive tone and hugged Zayn from behind. The boy melted in his arms and fiddled with the shirt in his hands. Then he slowly turned around and gazed at Liam intently for a few seconds. He then peeled his t-shirt off his body and threw it to the ground. The he stepped out of his jeans while keeping his eyes trained down. When he eventually looked up at Liam from under his eyelashes, Liam felt like a fire was sparking in his gut. Zayn reached forward and unbuttoned Liam’s jeans.

 

“Shower?” Zayn whispered.

 

Liam smirked and grabbed the boy’s hand to tug him into the bathroom adjoining the master bedroom. He knew they would be longer than 10 minutes so he locked the bathroom to prevent any intrusions.

 

**

 

 

“Yo I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want!”

 

“So tell me what you want, what you really really want!”

 

Zayn peeled one eye open and blinked around at the sunny room.  His brain was muddled with sleep and he turned to his side and was greeted with the view of a large window overlooking a beach and sparkling blue water. He reached forward and touched the soft material of the white canopy curtains of the bed and remembered that he was in Barcelona. A smile stretched across his face and he stretched languidly across the bed. That’s when he focused on the fact that ‘Wannabe’ by the Spice Girls was playing really loudly in the house and he could hear loud voices singing along. Zayn got out of the bed and left the room to go investigate. When he reached the kitchen, which happened to be the source of the music, he stopped in shock.

 

In front of him Liam and Miguel were wearing just swimming trunks and sunglasses and dancing like maniacs as they sang along to the song. Niall was in just his briefs and cutting up a watermelon as he danced and sang simultaneously too. Tom was cooking eggs on the stove and Josh was sitting on the counter as they also shouted along to the song.  Zayn paused in the doorway with wide eyes and watched the scene in front of him for a few moments. This was a group of men in their mid to late twenties and they were having an early morning jam out to Spice Girls like their life depended on it. Eventually he couldn’t handle it and a giggle burst from his lips.

 

“Baby!” Liam grinned at him and came over to pull him into his arms. He kissed him on his lips then across his face. “Did we wake you?”

 

“Oh it’s okay it was worth it,” Zayn grinned.

 

“Don’t mind us Zayn this is just a weird old tradition. This is our song and has been since we first drunkenly sang it at a karaoke bar in Australia many years ago on vacation,” Niall said with a smile. He picked up a slice of the watermelon he had cut up and started eating it.

 

“I was always Scary Spice,” Miguel said, “Niall Baby Spice, Tom Ginger Spice, Liam Sporty Spice and Josh Posh Spice. It was decided years ago, and still stands true.”

 

“And we’re making a comeback!” Tom bellowed and flipped his eggs.

 

Zayn giggled again and shook his head. Liam tugged him close and sprinkled kisses on his face. “You guys are something else,” Zayn laughed.

 

“Thanks peanut.” Miguel ruffled his hair and grinned as he picked up several empty plates. “Now breakfast is outside. The others have been waiting for long and Naudia gets scary on an empty stomach.”

 

“Hungry baby?” Liam asked as they walked to the back deck.

 

“I didn’t even wash my face. Or put on clothes.” Zayn looked down at his boxers and t-shirt.

 

“It’s fine. We’re just gonna eat some breakfast and then go water-skiing ad maybe scuba diving. Are you interested?” Liam rubbed his hand gently as they settled down onto the large table on the outside deck.

 

“I- I can’t do water activities. I’m sorry,” Zayn apologized. Liam picked up his hand and kissed it while giving him a tender smile.

 

“Don’t apologize baby. Although for scuba diving you don’t even need to know how to swim. But I understand your fear. Don’t stress. You can watch us from the beach. Not everyone is going.” Liam took a sip of his coffee then leaned down to kiss Zayn’s forehead.

 

“Okay.” Zayn smiled at him then poured himself a glass of juice.

 

 

**

 

 

“That water is surprisingly warm.” Ameera tied her cover-up around her body then collapsed onto a beach towel on the sand.

 

Zayn smiled over at her then turned back to his sketch pad. He had been sitting here on the beach for a good hour, sketching away. He could see Liam and some of the guys in the distance as they water-skied. Their loud laughter and voices were carrying across the water. Harry had accompanied them as well after making sure Zayn wouldn’t feel too lonely. Zayn had reassured him he wouldn’t since he wanted some privacy to work on this drawing. It was going to be Liam’s birthday present and he wanted it to be perfect.

 

“That’s so good Zee!” Ameera exclaimed as she peered over at his sketchbook.

 

“Thank you.” Zayn murmured in practically a whisper. It was something he had started a little while ago and he wanted it to be perfect. It was Liam lying in a pool of messy sheets with one thrown haphazardly across his lower half, underneath which he was nude. Zayn had taken inspiration from the numerous times he saw Liam like this after they had sex and he wanted to capture it as best as he could.

 

“It’s for Liam’s birthday. For the past two weeks, I’ve been racking my brain trying to think of something that I could get him and I just wondered ‘what do you get your boyfriend for his birthday when he has everything and I mean literally _everything_ in this world?’ So I decided to make something. It’s stupid, I know. But…”

 

“Meri jaan,” Ameera said fondly. Zayn looked over at her in surprise at her words then blushed a little when he saw her soft smile. “You’re the sweetest Zayn. I swear to God. And Liam will love this. Trust me. He loves you so fucking much you have no idea. He would lose his mind even if you gave him a piece of trash wrapped up. And this is beautiful sweetheart. So beautiful.”

 

Zayn gave her a smile then shut his sketchbook. “You reminded me of my Doniya Baji the way you said meri jaan.”

 

“Oh babe don’t ever call me baji,” Ameera laughed. “It makes me feel old as fuck.”

 

“Okay baji,” Zayn giggled and Ameera tossed him a glare.

 

“Zee.” She warned and Zayn laughed in response.

 

“Meemz!” They turned in the direction of the house and saw Naudia signalling Ameera to come inside.

 

“I’m just gonna see what Nadz needs. And Zayn, that drawing is incredible. It’s very accurate too,” Ameera said as she got up.

 

“Thanks. Although, should I be concerned about you having seen my boyfriend nude?” Zayn gave her a suspicious look.

 

“No,” Ameera laughed. “Just some unfortunate things a PA ends up seeing. Nothing more than that.” She dropped a kiss to his head then wandered back into house.

 

Zayn set down his sketchbook and picked up a book he had brought along and started reading it. He was only a few chapters in when a shadow loomed over him and blocked the sun. Zayn peered up and saw that it was Liam, towelling water out of his hair and grinning down at him.

 

“How’s my angel? Bored?” He asked and dropped down onto the sand beside Zayn.

 

“No.” Zayn smiled and waved his book at Liam. “How was the water-skiing?”  
  
“Fucking amazing. Niall got wiped the fuck out it was hilarious,” Liam laughed. He then turned to Zayn and leaned down to kiss his forehead. When some water from Liam’s body dripped onto him, Zayn groaned and pushed him away playfully.

 

“You’re not upset that I’ve been away most of the day?” Liam inquired.

 

“What? No Li. I promise. It’s your birthday and you should have all the fun you want. I swear, I’m feeling very relaxed here and the view is incredible,” Zayn told him.

 

“Sure?” Liam asked again.

 

“Yeah babe. Although… I was promised beach sex,” Zayn said quietly.

 

“Yeah?” Liam smirked at him. “Well we can fix that. You can add beach sex to your list of firsts.”

 

“Trust me jaan, every single experience with you has been a first. And in the 98 times we’ve had sex-“

 

“Baby,” Liam snorted, amusedly. “You’ve been counting?”

 

“I-“ Zayn stammered out, feeling his cheeks redden. He lifted his book up to cover his face and hide away from the embarrassment he was feeling. Why did he always blurt out stupid shit?

 

Liam pulled his book away then leaned over Zayn with a smile. “Well?” He asked.

 

“I just… the other day Harry was asking how many times you and I have had sex or done stuff since we started dating and I had to count and only then did I figure out it was 98,” Zayn stuttered.

 

Liam removed his own sunglasses then gave Zayn a look which proved he wasn’t buying it. “Harry? You always blame that poor guy for everything. Even when you blurted out daddy.”

 

“Well I-“

 

“Wanna make that 98 a 100?” Liam whispered and started kissing along his jawline.

 

“Beach sex now?” Zayn asked in a slight state of shock.

 

“You up for it?” Liam smirked and ran his hand under Zayn’s shirt.

 

“Okay. But will I-“

 

“Liam!”

 

“These bastards,” Liam groaned. “We won’t get a single second alone.”

 

“Li. We’re planning on going into town. Get some stuff for the party tonight and maybe look around at some of the cool places and grab food,” Luke announced as he fell down beside them.

 

“What about scuba diving?” Liam asked.

 

“Tomorrow morning. On the actual day of your birthday. It’ll be a nice way to start the day,” Luke replied.

 

“Can we go to the Basilica?” Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam from behind and whispered into his ear.

 

“Sure baby. I want to check that out too.” Liam turned his head slightly to brush a kiss across Zayn’s lips. “Get the cars Luke. And tell the others, that is if they want to come along and sight-see and stuff.”

 

“Okay. Oh and everyone else’s plane will land before tonight’s party,” Luke said as he got up. “And Li do you want to do that thing you mentioned in town too?”

 

“Yes.” Liam said but gave Luke a suspicious look which Zayn felt confused about.

 

“Do what?” Zayn asked.

 

“Noting important angel. Just some party stuff. Now come on. There’s loads we need to see today.” Liam took Zayn’s hand and they walked inside to get ready for the day. Zayn wasn’t convinced but he let it go because it was obvious that Liam didn’t want to talk about it.

 

**

 

Going into the main city of Barcelona, they had all had lunch first and then broken off into smaller groups to sight-see, go shopping or do whatever they liked. Liam, Zayn, Harry, Ameera and Niall had gone to the Basilica first. After looking around the beautiful church till they were content, they wandered down the streets taking in the gorgeous architecture and culture the city was rich with. They had gotten some ice cream from a local vendor and when the other three were inspecting antique jewellery in a tiny shop, Zayn grabbed Harry’s arm and tugged him into a different shop.

 

“What’s wrong ZayZay?” Harry asked as he glanced around the store. They had walked into some random clothing store which had very few customers inside it.

 

“Haz. You’re my best friend, the best in the entire world. Heck I won’t even act like I don’t know the truth, you’re my only friend in this entire world and I love you so very much. You’re like my brother. When I need advice I always come to you and no matter how embarrassing it is you don’t make fun of me and you always keep my secrets too. And once again, today I’m coming to you with a request that you must promise you won’t laugh at, and will help me with. Because I’m losing my mind. I’ve been mulling over it for days now and you’re the expert so I need your help.” Zayn gripped Harry’s shoulders and looked at him straight in the eyes with seriousness.

 

“What is it?” Harry asked in a concerned tone.

 

“It’s something I want to do for Liam… for his birthday… and I don’t know how to go about it.” Zayn sighed.

 

“Oooo. Is it some kinky new sex position you want to surprise him with?” Harry asked excitedly.

 

“Uhhh… something like that,” Zayn answered.

 

“Does it involve toys?” Harry gasped.

 

“No Harry no toys. Listen….” Zayn took a deep breath and explained in detail, while blushing several times, what he wanted to do for Liam. Harry’s squeals kept increasing and he kept doing small claps as he listened to Zayn. When Zayn finished explaining, he waited for his best friend to share his reaction. Harry grinned widely and took his hand to squeeze it.

 

“Babe we need to get back to the house so we can properly discuss this in private. But before we go, we need to shop for some stuff. Trust me, you’ll appreciate it. And quickly too before Liam comes looking for you.” Harry looked behind him to make sure no one was coming.

 

“Shop?” Zayn asked.

 

“Yes. Trust me. I know what I’m doing.” Harry turned around and spotted something which made him grin widely. He grabbed Zayn’s hand an started tugging him towards the back of the store.

 

“No fucking way can I pull that off Harry. No.” Zayn grabbed Harry’s to tug him to a standstill.

 

“Babe. Trust me. You can. And you will.” Harry’s eyes were gleaming and Zayn sighed in defeat. If Harry thought this was the best way to do it, then so be it. And he wanted this ‘gift’ for Liam to go perfectly.

 

**

 

 

“This is so nerve-wracking holy shit,” Zayn groaned as they exited the shop with a few black shopping bags.

 

“It’s gonna be good,” Harry reassured him. They walked over to a group of stone benches that surrounded a fountain in the centre of the outdoor shopping centre. After settling down, Zayn peeked inside his bag and glanced worriedly at his purchase.

 

“Haz. Now you have to help me and tell me what to do. I don’t want it to end up as a failure or something embarrassing. Just something really sexy and special,” Zayn said.

 

“It will be.” Harry patted his hand. “Are you going to do it tonight or tomorrow?”

 

“Tomorrow. I need to prepare mentally and there’s the party tonight,” Zayn replied.

 

“Where did you guys disappear to? We’ve been looking all around,” Ameera exclaimed from behind them. Zayn turned around to see Liam and Niall right behind her. He quickly pushed the shopping bag behind him and smiled at Liam. The man looked relieved to see him and came up to him to take a hold of his face.

 

“I thought you got lost,” Liam murmured. He pressed a lingering kiss to Zayn’s lips then left a few short pecks as well.

 

“No, was just looking around,” Zayn said. He got up and wrapped his arms around Liam’s waist to hug him as the man kissed his head.

 

“Did you do some shopping?” Liam inquired.

 

“Yeah, umm… actually can me and Harry go back to the beach house? We’re a little tired and wanted to get some rest before the party tonight,” Zayn looked up at Liam with his chin resting on the man’s chest. Liam’s face turned concerned and he pushed Zayn’s sunglasses up to the top of his head to gaze into his eyes.

 

“Are you feeling alright? I can come back with you,” Liam offered.

 

“No!” Zayn shouted then quickly schooled his expression into something neutral. “I mean… don’t come back just for me. Have fun around town and I’ll see you tonight. I’m probably just gonna nap and maybe call my mom.”

 

“Okay…” Liam said although he looked a little suspicious from Zayn’s outburst. “I’ll call our driver and ask him to take you guys back.”

 

“Thank you.” Zayn smiled and leaned up on his toes to press a fleeting kiss to Liam’s lips. Liam smiled and didn’t let Zayn go too quickly and deepened the kiss. It wasn’t until Niall coughed that Liam let him go and kissed his temple.

 

“Miguel wants to meet up at this bar he found on the beachside and maybe we can do the thing,” Niall wiggled his eyebrows and Liam gave him a look.

 

Zayn looked between them and realized Liam seemed to be hiding something of his own. But not wanting to risk exposing his own secret, he ignored Liam’s suspicious behaviour. When their driver arrived, Zayn gave Liam a few quick kisses and whispered ‘I love you’ before ducking into the back. Harry gave him a mischievous smile which Zayn returned nervously before they drove away.

 

 

**

 

 

“Liam!” A squeal was followed by a body colliding into his, and Liam caught it instinctively. He turned his head and a kiss was dropped onto his cheek. Liam grinned at the dark-haired girl latched onto his back.

 

“Maria, way to make an entry.” Liam laughed and kissed the girl’s cheek.

 

Maria grinned and hugged him tightly before climbing off his back. Liam had been setting down a large container of ice on the outdoor bar behind the beach house when he had been jumped on. It was dusk and the party they had planned for tonight was about to begin. His remaining friends who were due to fly in today had arrived from the airport and the commotion inside was loud. He could see Tom and Josh setting up the massive speakers inside and outside the house and he knew music would soon fill the air. They had gotten back from town just a little while earlier and already jumped into setting up the party. Also, Liam hadn’t seen Zayn all day and was starting to get a little concerned.

 

“I see you’re continuing your yearly birthday tattoo tradition,” Maria pointed to the bandage on his wrist. She had poured herself a gin and tonic and was sitting on top of the bar smiling at him.

 

“Obviously.” Liam shrugged and gave her a wink.

 

“What did you get lemme see.” Maria tried to grab his wrist but Liam pulled it away.

 

“No can do babe. I’m keeping it as a secret for now until I can show someone at the right time,” Liam said and came out from behind the bar.

 

“Oh sure, and I bet Niall, Tom and Miguel already know?” She snorted.

 

“They were there.” Liam laughed and squeezed her knee.

 

“Well I would be bitter but you’re the birthday boy so I’ll forgive you.” She kissed his cheek. “Now I have to go find my girlfriend so if you could excuse me.”

 

“See you babe,” Liam called out as she blew him a kiss and left.

 

Liam turned around to pick up the crate he had just emptied of alcohol when he was attacked from behind again. This time with a tender embrace, as arms wrapped around his middle. From the subtle scent of jasmine and almond blossom underneath the beachy smell, he knew who it was but he grinned and pretended to not know.

 

“One attack from behind not enough Maria?” Liam asked.

 

“It’s me!” Zayn laughed and ducked under his arms.

 

“Baby? Damn, must’ve forgotten what you feel like.” Liam smirked at him. Zayn smacked him lightly then wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck to kiss him.

 

“I missed you all day,” Zayn said and held onto him.

 

“Missed you too angel.” Liam kissed the top of his head.

 

“What happened?” Zayn suddenly sounded concerned and took a hold of Liam’s bandaged wrist.

 

“Oh nothing. Just a little cut from when we were at the beach earlier. We went on motorboats and I scraped my wrist on a broken bit of the engine,” Liam lied. He didn’t want to tell Zayn about the tattoo just yet and wanted to reveal it at a better time after it had healed.

 

“Jaan,” Zayn murmured and kissed his wrist. “You should be careful. Can’t let the person who’s my whole world go around getting hurt.”

 

“Aw baby….” Liam laughed lightly and squeezed Zayn in his arms. He kissed his forehead then moved back and rubbed the back of his hand along Zayn’s jaw. “I’m fine. Don’t worry. Now c’mon. Time to get this party started.”

 

 

**

 

 

“Two more!”

Liam grinned at Miguel, who was across from him, then tossed back his two shots in one go and sucked on the lemon slice. He threw it in the air then hooted loudly as everyone behind him start pounding him on his back.

 

“Fuck!” Miguel groaned as he was five seconds behind Liam in finishing his row of shots. “You don’t have a liver Payno!”

 

Liam laughed loudly and leaned across the bar to tug Miguel into a hug. Miguel grabbed him around his middle and tugged him all the way across till they fell onto the ground in a laughing heap.

 

“I need a rematch!” Miguel yelled. He grabbed two beers from the back of the bar and tossed one to Liam so they could chase the tequila shots they had just done.

 

“Miguel you’re just going to lose again,” Niall said as they got up.

 

“Fuck off Horan! I will not!” Miguel threw a lemon slice at Niall’s head.

 

The party had been in full swing for a while. Music was echoing across the private beach, outside the house, and indoor too. People were dancing inside and outside right on the beach too where a small bonfire had been set up. Liam was buzzing after the shot contest he had just done with Miguel, and the multiple drinks he had downed before that. The night had been amazing so far. He was in Barcelona, with his closest friends, on the beach, ringing in his 27th year. Things couldn’t be better.

 

“One more hour and you’re officially 27.” Niall grinned at him as they clinked their beers.

 

“You’re joining me soon Ni don’t worry,” Liam laughed. “And to be honest I kind of agree with the age is just a number bullshit but I also don’t mind getting older. Life is pretty good, knock on wood. Nothing could fuck this up.”

 

Niall smiled and pulled him into a hug. “Nothing will bro. And I love you,” Niall said.

 

“Love you too Niall,” Liam replied and hugged him tightly.

 

“Look who’s here!” Miguel shouted in surprise. Liam spun around and saw Ruth walking onto the beach with a wide smile.

 

“Ruth!” Liam exclaimed and swept her up into a hug. “You made it!”

 

“I could get into trouble for missing work but I had to be here for your birthday. How could I miss out?” Ruth said and kissed his cheek.

 

“Thanks Ruthie.” Liam said and grinned at her.

 

“I saw Zayn in there and I had to do a double take. I didn’t expect to see him drunk and dancing like that. So different from the shy person I saw on the yacht.” Ruth laughed.

 

“What?” Liam asked in surprise.

 

“Yeah… he looks a little drunk and he’s up on the bar inside dancing,” Ruth said with an amused smile.

 

“Uhh… I’ll be back.” Liam gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and left her to get a drink with Niall and Miguel. He was curious to see if Ruth had possibly been mistaken because Zayn hadn’t planned on drinking much tonight and he would never want to be dancing so publicly.

 

Liam made his way through the house where people were scattered about drinking, dancing and a small group of people were getting high. He went towards the main living room where the bar was also located. Rihanna’s ‘Work’ was playing loudly and when Liam walked in, he stopped short at the sight he saw. People were cheering for the three dancing figures on top of the bar. It was Zayn, Harry and Ameera. Zayn was in the middle of the two and was laughing brightly with his head thrown back against Harry’s shoulder, as he grinded back against him. Liam couldn’t help the wide grin that covered his face. Zayn was barefoot, in ripped jeans and a white t-shirt which had been tied above his navel, leaving his stomach slightly exposed. Everyone in the room was cheering the three on as they danced to the song and sang along. For someone who shied away from dancing so often, Zayn was dancing brilliantly.

 

When Zayn started swirling his hips to sink to his knees and take Ameera’s hands, as she continued to dance in front of him, Liam decided to do something. He discreetly slipped up to the bar and when Zayn was too busy dancing with Ameera, Liam hopped onto the bar and tapped Harry on the shoulder. The curly-haired boy turned around, his cheeks flushed, and smiled brightly at Liam. Liam pressed his finger to his lips and Harry nodded in understanding. He moved back and let Liam take his place behind Zayn. Everyone who was watching started cheering louder and Liam grinned because Zayn had yet to notice. He was too busy shouting along to the song and dancing with his arm wrapped around Ameera. Liam looped an arm around Zayn’s waist and tugged him back till they were flush together. Zayn didn’t even notice that it was Liam, and probably thinking that it was still Harry, he started grinding back again. Ameera laughed when she saw who it was and Liam winked at her. He held onto Zayn’s waist and moved his hips with the boy in rhythm. It was when he dropped a kiss to Zayn’s neck that he spun around.

 

“Liam!” Zayn exclaimed happily.

 

“Someone is having fun.” Liam smiled and pulled him closer to kiss him.

 

“So much!” Zayn shouted and did his full on happy smile with his nose and eyes crinkled and his tongue trapped between his teeth. Liam’s heart swayed with love and he kissed Zayn passionately, biting his lower lip. When everyone in the room started cat-calling an hooting at their public display of emotion, Liam grinned and moved back. Zayn smiled vibrantly and started dancing again. Liam held onto his hips as he danced in front of Zayn. He moved down the boy’s body till he was on his knees in front of him and he kissed Zayn’s exposed stomach possessively. Ameera whistled loudly from behind them and Zayn flushed, although he smiled at Liam.

 

“This is a good look.” Liam smirked and kissed his stomach again before getting up.

 

Zayn beamed and wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck to attack him with a kiss. Liam instinctively tugged him closer and deepened the kiss. He was practically about to hoist Zayn up into his arms when they were hit with a spray of something cold and wet. Liam detached his mouth from Zayn and looked back to see Naudia and Ameera cackling as they held a champagne bottle.

 

“Happy birthday!” Naudia laughed wickedly.

 

“Not for an hour and you are dead,” Liam ripped off his soaking wet shirt and hopped off the bar to chase Naudia, who ran away shrieking.

 

 

**

 

 

Liam lit up a cigarette and walked to the edge of the beach. He took a long drag and turned his face up to the sky to look at the moon. Minutes before his birthday, he always liked to be alone and take everything in. The party was still going on behind him but he had slipped away five minutes to midnight to just stand by the water alone and think for a minute. Last year for his birthday he had celebrated in Prague with some friends. He had been stressed about RED since it had just started up, plus had an insane workload with PC. He had partied in a club with friends then gone home with some woman. It had been a fun birthday but it didn’t compare to this one and where he was in life now. His work was flourishing, he was happier than ever and the biggest highlight without a doubt was Zayn. Falling in love with Zayn had been the best part of this year (and to be honest would remain the best thing to happen to him) and 27 was already looking brighter than ever.

 

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…” Liam smiled as multiple voices started singing from behind him and seemed to be getting closer. He turned around and his friends were all coming towards him singing happy birthday. Niall winked at him and moved aside to reveal Zayn who was walking forward, holding a cake filled with blazing candles. Zayn’s face was glowing behind the orange light of the candles and he was smiling radiantly at Liam.

 

“Happy birthday dear Liam…” Zayn’s melodious voice, although singing softly, was more beautiful than anything Liam had heard in his life.

 

“Happy birthday Payno!” His friends swarmed him with hugs and kisses and Liam grinned at Zayn who was waiting patiently with the cake, giving Liam a warm smile.

 

“Happy birthday jaan,” Zayn murmured and came forward with the cake when everyone else was finished wishing Liam.

 

“Thank you my love,” Liam said and grinned at him. He took the cake from Zayn’s hands and held it towards Niall. “Take this for a sec Ni.”

 

When Niall took the cake, Liam pulled Zayn into his arms and captured his lips in a kiss. Everyone around them hooted or cat-called and Ameera cooed as she recorded everything on her phone. After a long kiss, Liam moved back and cupped Zayn’s face to shower affectionate kisses all over it. Zayn laughed lightly and buried his face in Liam’s neck to hug him tightly.

 

“I love you,” Zayn whispered.

 

“I love you more angel,” Liam whispered back.

 

“I didn’t want to carry the cake in case I repeated the office incident but Ameera forced me,” Zayn said.

 

Liam laughed fondly and kissed his nose. “You wouldn’t but even if you did I wouldn’t care. I love you so much.”

 

“Wanna blow out these candles first and then smother Zayn?” Niall teased.

 

“Oh fuck off,” Liam said as everyone laughed.

 

“Remember to make a wish,” Maria said.

 

“To be honest I don’t have a wish. I have everything I need or could ever want in this world, right here,” Liam said.

 

“A fucking cheeseball,” Luke groaned jokingly.

 

Liam gave him a finger then leaned forward and blew out the candles on the cake. As soon as he blew it out he had no second to react because Niall scooped up a chunk of cake and hit him in the face with it.

 

“Bitch you are dead.” Liam grabbed the cake and smashed it in Niall’s face. They did this every year where the cake they had at midnight was never eaten but rather destroyed in a cake fight. Niall grabbed the remnants and started hurling it at him as they broke out into a full on cake fight with everyone else as well.

 

 

**

 

 

Almost everyone was gone to sleep and only Liam, Niall, Tom and Miguel were awake having a last drink on the back deck. Zayn was wrapped up in a blanket, asleep against Liam’s side. Liam held him securely as he finished off his drink.

 

“Do whatever you want in the morning but tomorrow night is the beach festival and we have to go. Who comes to Barcelona in the summer and doesn’t attend?” Miguel said.

 

“Scuba diving is in the morning, I have an entire restaurant booked out for lunch afterwards, then the vineyard and the beach festival at night,” Liam informed them.

 

“Sounds good.” Tom yawned and stood up. “I need to get some sleep. Happy birthday again Li.” He leaned down and gave Liam a half hug since Zayn was asleep against his side.

 

“Thanks man. I’m gonna get some sleep too.” Liam carefully picked up Zayn and draped the blanket around him. He kissed the boy’s forehead who sighed in his sleep and curled further against Liam’s chest.

 

“When are you gonna show Zayn your tattoo?” Niall asked.

 

“Tomorrow probably.” Liam said.

 

“I can’t believe this bastard got his love immortalized on his body. I couldn’t do that.” Miguel shook his head in bewilderment.

 

“When you love someone more than life itself, you’ll realize. Night guys.” Liam turned around and walked into the dark house with Zayn in his arms. He went to the master bedroom and gently placed Zayn on the bed. After removing his own clothes, he changed Zayn’s as well. Then he drew the white curtains around their bed closed and finally lay down. Pulling Zayn into his arms he pressed his lips to the boy’s forehead and showered an endless amount of kisses, leaving his lips to rest there after.

 

“Love you angel.”

 

**

 

 

Zayn woke up with a dry feeling in his mouth and a headache. He rubbed his forehead and groaned. This is why he rarely ever drank. Hangovers were absolute hell and he hated feeling like this. Zayn blinked one eye open and looked around. He was half on top of Liam who was spread out across the bed with an arm around Zayn’s waist. Zayn smiled and kissed Liam on the chest then ran his fingers up and touched the Cartier key on the chain necklace. Weaving it around his fingers, Zayn gripped it lightly and lifted himself up to kiss Liam’s jaw. Last night had been so much fun and Zayn remembered how after Liam and Niall had started a cake fight, he had tried to back away from it but Liam had spotted him and ambushed him. He had covered Zayn’s face completely in cake and when the boy had started shrieking, Liam had tackled him to the sandy beach amongst laughs and licked his face clean.

 

Zayn thought of what he had planned for tonight and his face heated up. Boy was he going to need a lot of courage for tonight. But he wanted to make Liam’s birthday special and one he was never going to forget. Especially after Liam’s friends had spent an hour last night discussing the best birthday sex they had all ever had, in vivid detail. When someone had asked Liam, he had brushed it off in respect for Zayn next to him. But then one of his drunk friends had mentioned something about Liam in Bueno Aires for his 25th birthday and some threesome Liam had that night. Zayn had suddenly felt a sinking feeling in his gut thinking about how he might never be able to top any of Liam’s past sexual experiences. But then Liam had pulled him in close to kiss him and told everyone that not a single night in his past sex life mattered anymore. It was only his present that mattered and it was the best he had ever had. Amongst all the ‘aww-ing’ Zayn had turned red but he had decided he would make Liam’s birthday memorable.

 

Zayn smiled to himself and ran his fingers down Liam’s chest. Ever so slowly, he raised himself up so he could straddle Liam and then lowered himself down. He traced his fingertips over the scruff on Liam’s face and down his defined chest.

 

“So unfair,” Zayn mumbled. He was already half-hard just after waking up and looking down at Liam’s body, his dick was getting harder. He leaned down and kissed lightly across Liam’s cheek. When he was about to start kissing downwards, his eyes caught on the bandage on Liam’s wrist. It was unravelling and seemed to be ruined. Zayn thought he should remove it completely since Liam’s cut should have been healed, and if not, he would put a clean bandage on.

 

Trying hard not to jostle Liam, Zayn peeled away the white gauze. But as it came away slowly, Zayn’s brow became furrowed because he saw ink underneath and nothing resembling a cut. Growing more confused, Zayn quickly peeled the bandage away completely and when it fell open, he gasped. His heart rate spiked at what he saw and he felt like his hangover was worse than he thought because he must be hallucinating. Raising a shaky hand, Zayn traced his fingertips over the tattoo he had unveiled.

 

“My God, Liam…” Zayn whispered as tears sprung to his eyes.

 

The tattoo was on the inside of Liam’s left wrist, right under his hand, on top of his pulse point. It said ‘Zayn’ in cursive and had small angel wings on either side of the name. It was so simple yet elegantly done and Zayn felt like his heart was pounding so rapidly against his ribcage, it might just burst out.

 

“God,” Zayn murmured, still speechless, and held onto Liam’s hand tightly. His tears leaked onto Liam’s hand and Zayn kissed every knuckle.

 

“I can’t believe you jaan,” Zayn murmured and lowered his head to kiss along Liam’s chest. His trembling body and overwhelming emotions were also translating into a sudden need for this man. Zayn kissed down to Liam’s waistline and lifted the sheets, which were draped over his bottom half. Zayn wasn’t sure how to progress from here since he had never woken Liam up in such a fashion. But he thought this would be a nice surprise on his birthday. Zayn ducked under the sheets and pressed a kiss to Liam’s thigh, right below the black briefs he had been sleeping in.

 

Liam stirred a little so Zayn held still, but a few moments later Liam showed no signs of being awake. Zayn peeked out from under the sheets and grinned at the man’s sleeping form, then ducked back under. He peeled Liam’s briefs down his body and when his half-hard dick sprung out, Zayn bit his lip. He took Liam’s length into his hand and stroked it slowly. Removing his hand, he licked his palm a few times then brought it back to start stroking Liam again. Zayn then leaned down and licked a tentative stripe up the underside. Liam’s cock twitched and his thighs tensed around Zayn. He groaned in his sleep and Zayn smiled to himself. Lowering his head, he took the tip into his mouth. The bitterness of Liam’s pre-cum filled his mouth and Zayn moaned a little. He kept a firm grip around the base and started a slow rhythm of lowering his head up and down. Using his tongue, he brought Liam to a full hardness. Above him, Zayn heard another groan and he started moving a little faster.

 

“Fuck,” Liam gasped in a husky voice as he woke up suddenly. Zayn had no time to move back because the sheets were ripped off of him and he was greeted with Liam staring down at him in shock, and lust.

 

Zayn removed his mouth and smiled at Liam. He knew the image he probably presented. Half nude, hair all mussed from sleeping and being under the sheet, mouth around Liam’s length. He kissed the tip and smiled sweetly. “Happy birthday jaan.”

 

“Fucking hell- baby,” Liam said hoarsely. He tugged Zayn up and running his hands into his hair, he captured his lips in a kiss. “What a way to wake up. You’re going to kill me,” Liam murmured in a thick voice.

 

Zayn flushed a little and ducked forward in response to kiss the edge of Liam’s mouth. “Your morning will be even better if I finish.”

 

“Well by all means,” Liam chuckled. He rested his head back against his forearms and raised an eyebrow at Zayn, waiting for him to continue.

 

Zayn grinned and slid back down to take Liam into his mouth again. It took a few more minutes of using his mouth and hand to have Liam spill into his mouth with a moan of ‘angel.’ Zayn wiped his mouth against the back of his hand and fell down beside Liam, giving him a smile. Liam was gazing at him like he was… like he was the most precious thing to exist on this planet. And that look made Zayn flush and drop his head against Liam’s shoulder. Suddenly, Liam rolled over him and Zayn looked up in surprise to see the man smiling fondly at him. Then he lowered his eyes to Zayn’s swollen lips and his gaze turned darker. Liam tapped his finger against Zayn’s lips who automatically opened them to suck Liam’s finger into his mouth.

 

The fire in Liam’s eyes became more intense and he groaned. “You don’t even know what you do to me.”

 

Then he ran his hand down into Zayn’s boxers and gripped his throbbing length. Zayn gasped and clutched Liam’s arms as his eyes widened with need. He curled up into Liam’s touch and the man smirked, always knowing what Zayn needed. He attached his mouth to Zayn in a hot kiss and started stroking Zayn in a painstakingly slow rhythm. Then he twisted his wrist in a way that made Zayn moan loudly and push up further.

 

“Jaan please,” Zayn whimpered.

 

Liam rolled them over so they were lying on their sides facing each other. He pushed Zayn’s briefs below the curve of his ass and continued stroking him. With his other hand, he curled it around Zayn’s body to trace his entrance. Zayn felt like his body was on fire and he was about to explode. He whined desperately and alternated between pushing into the hand that was stroking his cock and the finger probing at his entrance.

 

“Come for me baby,” Liam murmured and sucked his earlobe into his mouth. Zayn cried out and spilled into Liam’s hand.

 

“You’re so beautiful,” Liam said and tugged him into his arms to kiss along his face. “So fucking beautiful. The most beautiful person to walk this earth.”

 

“Stop lying you flatterer,” Zayn huffed out a laugh.

 

“I’m not lying. You’re truly so fucking beautiful angel.” Liam tipped his face up to press a chaste kiss to his lips.

 

“Angel…” Zayn whispered, “angel wings.”

 

“Hmm?” Liam looked at him in confusion.

 

Zayn took Liam’s left hand and touched his fingertips to the tattoo. Liam noticed that his bandage wasn’t on anymore and that the tattoo was totally exposed.

 

“You saw it.” Liam smiled at him.

 

“Liam…” Zayn sighed and sat up. “You put my name on your body. Permanently. What if you regret it one day? What if-“

 

“My love,” Liam said gently. He sat up and took Zayn’s hands into his own and kissed each of his knuckles. “I will never regret this. _You_ are my forever. And much like you’ve left a mark on my heart I wanted your mark on my body. I have so many tattoos, some of them have no deeper meaning, they’re just nice to look at.  But this is something I am so sure about. It’s the best ink on my body. When Niall asked me what tattoo I wanted this year as a part of our birthday tattoo tradition, your name was the first thing on my mind and I knew immediately that’s what I wanted.” Zayn had a few tears slipping down his cheeks and Liam wiped them away and replaced them with tender kisses.

 

“And angel wings beside it because you’re an angel. My angel,” Liam murmured and tugged him into his lap to kiss his head.

 

“You’re _insane,_ ” Zayn laughed incredulously. “And I love you so fucking much Liam. You don’t even- you don’t even know.”

 

“I do know. Because I love you infinitely more than that,” Liam said.

 

“Do not.” Zayn pouted.

 

“Sorry baby. It’s my birthday so I win the ‘I love you more’ battle today.” Liam grinned at him and flicked his nose

 

“Fine. Just today,” Zayn warned. He wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and peppered his face with kisses. “And jaan… the tattoo is beautiful. I- I’m still a little speechless but it’s mostly because I’m so overwhelmed with your love. Overwhelmed, blown away and humbled. You’re so incredible and you’re always showing me how much you love me. I feel like I can’t even keep up. Inking my name on your body is just… you really must love me. And I’m… I hope you know I love you just as much.” Zayn gazed at Liam intently as he relayed what his heart was feeling.

 

“Oh baby don’t you know you’re literally my everything? I love you more than life itself, more than anything in this entire world. And this tattoo is just a miniscule representation of the infinite and endless amount of love I have for you. There’s no gesture or words to truly convey just how much.” Liam held Zayn tight against his body and pressed kisses to Zayn’s head, face, shoulders, just about everywhere that he could reach.

 

“Your words are enough to leave me tongue-tied. I don’t know what I did to deserve you but I love you so much meri jaan. You’re my jaan in every sense and I would die for you,” Zayn whispered.

 

“Never. I would never let that happen.” Liam said sternly and kissed him possessively. They fell back against the bed in a tangle and pushed away the sheets to make love again. Slowly, intensely, passionately and happily.

 

 

**

 

 

“And the little blue fishes were the prettiest!” Harry exclaimed as he sipped his wine.

 

It was much later in the day and everyone was at a vineyard in the countryside. The morning had consisted of scuba diving near a beautiful spot with cliffs and a sandy beach. Zayn had stayed on the beach with Naudia who said scuba diving made her queasy. Zayn worked on his sketch for Liam as Naudia told him funny stories about their group of friends. They were both cracking up when everyone returned from scuba diving with an endless amount of stories. Harry was recounting his tale to Zayn right now in the vineyard. Earlier, they had lunch in the restaurant Liam had completely booked off for them and then taken a small road trip through the gorgeous countryside to this vineyard. After touring the massive grounds and the wine factory nearby, they had come to a nearby cabin to relax and have wine that was brewed right on the vineyard. There was also a lake nearby where some of the guys were swimming to cool off. Liam had also jumped in and right now Zayn was sitting with Harry on the porch of the cabin as the boy relayed his scuba diving anecdotes.

 

“Did you see any sharks?” Zayn asked as he popped grapes into his mouth.

 

“No there aren’t sharks in that area. But the sea is a spectacular place Zay. I know you don’t like the water but I wish you could have seen it.” Harry smiled.

 

“I know. Someday. For now, just being on the beach and seeing the water from far was wonderful enough.” Zayn smiled back at him.

 

“So, nervous for tonight?” Harry asked with a sly grin.

 

“Really nervous.” Zayn sighed and rubbed his forehead. He looked over at the lake where Liam had climbed out of the water and was laughing at something Luke was saying. “What if I fuck up Harry? It would be so embarrassing. Maybe I should forget about it.”

“No! Babe you’re gonna be amazing! And you won’t fuck up. If the idea of embarrassing yourself in front of Liam is scaring you, maybe imagine me there instead and you’ll be so busy trying hard not to laugh over that fact, that you won’t mess up,” Harry said.

 

“No thanks. If I think of you it won’t be arousing at all.” Zayn laughed.

 

Harry threw a couple of grapes at Zayn’s head and the boy laughed. “All jokes aside I think you’ll be fine. And even if you mess up a little Liam won’t notice. His mouth will be permanently attached to the floor, and he’ll be too out of his mind,” Harry told him.

 

“Who will be too out of his mind?” Niall asked as he plopped down beside them.

 

“Umm, my dad. He loves places like this and will lose his mind when I show him pictures,” Zayn said quickly.

 

Niall hummed then leaned back and grinned at Zayn. “So peanut, did you like Liam’s tattoo?”

 

Zayn smiled and fiddled with a grape in his hand. “Yes. It’s beautiful. And Liam is- Liam is crazy. But wow, it’s incredible. I’m still a little speechless.”

 

“Who wouldn’t be. I mean that’s a level of intensity you don’t see much nowadays,” Harry exclaimed.

 

“He really loves you,” Niall said as he gazed at Zayn seriously. A soft look was in his eyes and Zayn smiled back at him.

 

“I know,” Zayn replied. “And I love him.”

 

“Who’s ready to party!” Tom hollered as he ran up to them.

 

“Beach festival time?” Harry jumped up excitedly.

 

“Yeah baby!” Tom said and ruffled Harry’s hair.

 

Zayn didn’t share everyone’s enthusiasm for the beach festival. He had researched it and read that it was an annual Coachella style festival that happened in Barcelona on one of the main beaches. There were many DJs and artists playing and it was always packed. Crowded places were not his favourite but Liam had wanted to go there for his birthday and Zayn wanted to go with him. When Liam had seen his hesitation, he said everyone else could go and they could just back to the beach house. But Zayn convinced him that he would be okay and eventually Liam gave in.

 

“…. Zayn? Zayn?” Zayn snapped out of his daze and saw Niall looking at him concerned. “We’re going back to the cars so we can drive down to the festival. You good?”

 

“Yeah.” Zayn smiled and got up from his chair. “Let’s go.”

 

 

**

 

 

Chaotic. That was one way to describe the festival. But a good chaotic. They were gathered on the beach as an EDM DJ performed his set and the vibe of the crowd was insane. Everyone was dancing and having a great time. Most of Liam’s friends were spread out across the beach and right now only Niall, Tom and Miguel were beside him. Zayn was in front of him wrapped in Liam’s arms and Harry was beside them too. 

 

“This is actually really great!” Zayn leaned up and yelled into his ear.

 

“You like it?” Liam asked with a smile. He knew Zayn had been nervous about being in a crowded place. He had offered to stay back at the beach house, he would have been happy either way, but Zayn said he wanted to try it and the boy had been happy all day.

 

Zayn nodded in reply to his answer and kissed Liam’s cheek. The DJ had finished his set and was thanking the crowd for coming out. People were starting to trickle away to go see other artists performing or to the nearby bars.

 

“There’s this really great outdoor club right on this beach and they supposedly have great music. Let’s go there. I feel like I still have a lot of energy left to burn,” Miguel said.

 

“Of course you do Mig.” Liam laughed. “But I’m cool with that. You guys good? Zayn?”

 

“Yeah let’s go,” Niall agreed. “I’m gonna text Luke and the others.”

 

“I’m okay with that. But could umm… could you and I leave earlier? Before everyone else? I have a gift for you back at the beach house,” Zayn said. He looked really nervous and Liam wondered what his gift could be. He was intrigued to say the least.

 

“Sure baby,” Liam replied and leaned down to kiss him.

 

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” Miguel urged.

 

Liam gave him a little shove then took Zayn’s hand as they started moving through the thick of the crowd. It wasn’t that long of a walk until they reached the club Miguel had been talking about. The crowd was pretty big but not as crazy as the festival so they had more room to move around and breathe. They met up with the others and found a booth to settle in. Everyone ordered drinks and crowded around the table even if they couldn’t find a seat. When their drinks arrived, Niall stood up on his seat and clinked his glass with a spoon.

 

“If all of you could close your fucking mouths for two seconds I have something I need to say,” Niall shouted.

 

“Speech!” Luke hollered and Niall tossed the lemon from his drink at Luke.

 

“I want to make a toast. To my best fucking friend in this entire world.” Niall looked at Liam and grinned. Everyone started hooting or whistling and Liam smiled back at Niall.

 

“Liam, you know I’m not the best at speeches because if I get caught up in my emotions I can’t get two words out and am pretty much useless. So, I won’t go too deep into my feelings ‘cus bro you know my feelings for you are deeper than deep. I love you Payno,” Niall said.

 

“I love you to Ni,” Liam replied. Niall wasn’t one to get emotional much, he rather liked to be the one who was joking, because when he did get emotional he would get teary-eyed and choked up. And then he wouldn’t be able to get any words out. But the fact that he could get serious and give Liam these toasts every year meant more to him than he let on.

 

“Liam and I have been friends for a long ass time, longer than either of us have with any of you fucks. Yes, I’m pulling the he was my best friend before he was your best friend line.” Niall smirked and everyone laughed.

 

“He’s my brother, my ride or die, and to be completely honest I don’t know what my life would be like without him. Liam, you’re one of a kind. And I think everyone at this table can attest to how truly fucking amazing you are man. Even at your worst times you still thought of others and cared for others, and never showed us how much you might have been hurting. You are incredible bro. So fucking incredible. You deserve all the happiness and success in this world, and everything you have accomplished at such a young age is proof of how brilliant you are. You’re an icon for us all. And can we please appreciate the fact that even though it’s his birthday he’s the one treating us all to this Barcelona trip and paying for everything? Like even though I argued with you and wanted to pay for all this as a gift, you wouldn’t let me. So thank you for this vacation too you wonderful rich bastard,” Niall shook his head with a chuckle and everyone laughed. Miguel thumped the table and blew Liam a kiss.

 

“So let’s raise a glass, on his 27th birthday, to my best friend, my brother, my platonic soulmate, Liam fucking Payne. You absolute beast of a man. Happy birthday!” Niall raised his glass with everyone in the air and they all shouted ‘to Liam!’ Then Niall jumped onto Liam and smothered him with a hug. Liam laughed and returned the hug just as tightly and kissed Niall’s head.

 

“I love you,” Niall said.

 

“Love you too Nialler. Thank you.” Liam smiled at him and patted his back.

 

“Anything for you,” Niall grinned. “Now let’s party! We go back tomorrow, so we should go hard tonight!”

 

 

**

 

 

Liam exited the bathroom and wandered back into the crowd of bodies on the dance floor. He had spent the past hour drinking and dancing with his friends in the open dance floor on the beach. Zayn had taken Harry away from the crowds for a breather a little while ago and Liam hadn’t seen him since. He was about to text the boy to see where he was when he spotted Zayn sitting at the bar a few feet away. He was alone and was sipping a water as he smiled fondly at Harry and Ameera dancing a few feet from him. Liam was about to go over to him when he was stopped by a young blonde haired woman.

 

“Excuse me, you’re Liam Payne right?” She asked.

 

“Yeah.” Liam smiled back at her.

 

“Oh my God this is insane. I’ve been a fan of yours for years. And I literally live in in Manhattan but I have never run into you there. And now in Barcelona of all places. I saw on your Instagram that you were here but never had I thought I would run into you. Can I buy you a drink?” She finished her ramble with a hopeful grin and leaned towards him.

 

“Thank you for the offer but I’m here with someone and I have to get back to them,” Liam said and smiled apologetically.

 

“Oh. Of course.” Her face fell a little but she smiled again. “A picture then?”

 

Liam agreed and after she had taken a selfie, she hugged him as well then rejoined a group of girls who seemed to be smiling in his direction. Liam turned his attention back to a certain raven haired boy and walked towards the bar. Zayn was sitting on a stool with his back to the bar, his gaze focused on the dance floor. Liam walked up the bar and leaned his arm on it to order a scotch on rocks then turned to Zayn. The boy hadn’t noticed him yet so Liam ran a finger up his forearm. Zayn flinched away but when he turned and saw Liam, his whole face lit up. He was about to speak but Liam beat him to it.

 

“I’ve been watching you all night and wondering to myself how someone so beautiful could be sat here alone,” Liam murmured and leaned close to Zayn to smirk at him.

 

Zayn looked at him confusedly for a second but when he realized the game Liam was playing, he flushed a little and smiled. “How do you know I’m not here with someone?”

 

“Well I’ve been watching you for a while and you’ve been sitting here all alone. Only a fool would come here with you then leave you by yourself. You’re ridiculously beautiful and kind of hard not to notice,” Liam said and let his eyes drag down Zayn’s body.

 

“Thanks. But I don’t think you should be hitting on me. My boyfriend might kick your ass.” Zayn shrugged and gave him a smile.

 

“Boyfriend?” Liam raised an eyebrow. “Break my heart why don’t you. Who is this boyfriend?”

 

“Just the most amazing man. He’s incredible. Intelligent, handsome, charming, sexy, loving… and _unbelievable_ in bed.” Zayn whispered the last bit in a voice dripping with lust and he bit his lip while blinking his lashes. Liam unthinkingly reached forward and ran the pad of his thumb over Zayn’s lip.

 

“If I were him I would consider myself the luckiest man in the world. And I would spend all night worshipping your body. Bringing you to the edge and leaving you whimpering and crying until you beg me to give you some release. And when I do… baby you would see stars.” Liam licked his lips and watched Zayn trace the movement with his eyes. The boy breathed shakily and took a sip of his water.

 

“You… are shameless… handsome stranger,” Zayn whispered.

 

“You wouldn’t know the meaning of shameless until I got you underneath me baby boy. A shame you’re taken though.” Liam shrugged and raised his glass to his lips to take a sip.

 

“Well I wouldn’t want you to miss the opportunity to prove your point. Dance with me first and maybe I’ll let you show me how shameless you are.” Zayn reached up and ran his hand through Liam’s hair. He pulled the bandana Liam had tied around his head off and gave him a small grin. Then he tied the bandanna around his own wrist. Liam raised his eyebrows in surprise then took Zayn’s hand and kissed the skin above the bandanna.

 

“Follow me,” Liam murmured. Despacito had started playing and Liam walked backwards into the crowd while leading Zayn by the hand. Zayn smiled at him and maintained the eye contact as they reached the middle of the dance floor.

 

Liam yanked Zayn into his body and the boy hit his chest in surprise. Around them people were signing and dancing along to the song but Liam was unaware as he gazed into Zayn’s wide hazel eyes. He ran his hand down the boy’s arm and tapped the wrist with the bandanna. When Zayn smiled, Liam spun him around so that Zayn’s back was flush to his chest. They started dancing as the chorus of the song started. Liam held Zayn close to his body and moved his hips in sync with the boy’s who was grinding his ass back against Liam in a teasing manner.

 

“You are a fucking tease,” Liam whispered into his ear.

 

“Won’t you tell me your name handsome stranger?” Zayn asked.

 

“James,” Liam replied with a grin. Zayn burst out laughing, clearly remembering their first encounter, and Liam turned him around to smile at him.

 

“Nice to meet you James. I’m Zayn,” Zayn said and wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck. Liam smirked at him and grabbed Zayn’s hand to spin him out so they could continue dancing to the song. Zayn grinned at him and sang along to the chorus as he swayed his hips and danced in circles in front of Liam.

 

Liam beckoned Zayn forward and the boy strode forward into his arms so they were dancing up close again, their faces mere inches from each other. Liam tugged Zayn forward, practically lifting him off his feet, then dipped him towards the ground. Zayn gasped in surprise but as Liam swept him back up, he laughed breathlessly which made Liam want to break out of this little game and kiss him. Zayn, sensing Liam’s expression, bit his lip and gazed into Liam’s eyes. He wrapped his hands around Liam’s neck and leaned forward to kiss him on the hollow of his throat. Not being able to control himself anymore, Liam gave him a look and Zayn nodded. Taking Zayn’s hand into his own, Liam led him away from the dance floor as the final chorus of Despacito played. They ended up away from the crowd, near the bathrooms. Liam led Zayn into a secluded corner and swiftly picked him up to pin him against the wall. Zayn moaned and Liam took advantage of that to kiss him, pushing his tongue into Zayn’s mouth.

 

“Baby,” Liam breathed and started kissing desperately down Zayn’s neck.

 

“Liam,” Zayn sighed out. Liam moved back and cocked an eyebrow at him.

 

“S-sorry I couldn’t stay in character. I need you,” Zayn apologized and tugged Liam forward to kiss him again.

 

“It’s okay angel. I kind of need to fuck you right now,” Liam murmured.

 

Zayn moaned at Liam’s words and started trembling a little. Liam attacked Zayn’s mouth again and licked all around it, getting intoxicated by the taste of something citrusy in Zayn’s mouth.

 

“LI- Liam, you know how I said I have a gift for you at home. Well can we go back now? After I give it you we should continue this.” Zayn looked at him with wide eyes.

 

“Mmmm. Wait? For you a thousand times over.” Liam grinned. “Let’s go.”

 

Zayn smiled and kissed him as Liam set him down. Taking Zayn’s hand, Liam called his driver and told him to get to the club as soon as he could. They walked towards the street and waited for the driver while Liam texted everyone else telling them to stay out as long as they wanted to, but that they were going back. Zayn was fiddling nervously beside him and his face looked agitated. Liam wondered what could have him so upset so he pulled the boy forward and kissed his head to help settle his nerves.

 

The driver showed up soon and the entire ride home Zayn looked a little anxious and even when Liam asked if he was okay, he just smiled and reassured him saying that he was fine. It took a while for them to get back to the beach house and when they did, Zayn paused in the living room.

 

“Could you wait here while I check on something in the room? I’ll come get you in a bit,” Zayn said nervously.

 

“Sure.” Liam tugged him forward and kissed him until Zayn melted a little. The boy then smiled at him and hurried up the stairs. Liam heard a few noises from upstairs but he just scrolled through his phone as he waited. A little while later, Zayn came back downstairs with his hands behind his back.

 

“I have to put this blindfold on you.” Zayn came forward and pulled a black piece of silk from behind his back. “Trust me?”

 

“I trust you.” Liam pecked his lips then turned around so Zayn could tie the blindfold over his eyes. After he was done he took Liam’s hand and led him up the stairs. They reached what Liam assumed was their bedroom and he heard Zayn push the door open. He led Liam into the room by his hand and helped him sit on a chair.

 

“Wait here,” Zayn whispered.

 

“OK,” Liam murmured. His vision was totally compromised behind the blindfold and he saw nothing but complete darkness. But he waited like Zayn had told him to and wondered what this surprise gift could be. He heard the soft padding of Zayn’s feet as the boy walked away from him. Liam heard a door close and realized that Zayn was probably in the bathroom.

 

A few moments passed and then Liam heard a door open, and after a beat of silence Zayn’s voice carried over from across the room.

 

“You can take it off now,” Zayn whispered. As if it had been coordinated, as soon as Liam removed his blindfold there was a crackling sound and music filled the room. It sounded familiar…

 

Liam turned his head to the side and practically fell out of his chair. The lights in the room had been turned off completely and there was an abundance of candles lit around the room. Rose petals covered the floor and the silky sheets of the bed. The sheer curtains had been tied back completely. But the atmosphere of the room wasn’t what made Liam feel like he had choked on air. No, it was Zayn. Zayn who was leaning against the wall, dressed in just a loose and silky button down white shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His long legs were crossed, one in front of the other and seemed to be glowing. His hair had been tousled to such sexy perfection, fluffed in a messy way, with a few strands falling over his eyes. And his fucking eyes. His eyes that seemed to lined with black eyeliner and looked beyond all levels of sexy. He was biting his lip and giving Liam a smile that bordered right between sweet and playful and Liam felt like his body was about to explode.

 

_“I’m on my 14 carats. I'm 14 carat. Doing it up like Midas, mhm…”_

Zayn mouthed along to the lyrics and walked towards Liam in an agonizingly slow and sultry way, while he ran the tips of his fingers up the sides of his thigh.

 

“ _Baby._ ” Liam’s voice came out in a rough whisper, because he really couldn’t believe this was happening. Zayn shook his head and came to stand before Liam. He smiled and touched Liam’s lips gently.

_  
“Now you say I got a touch so good, so good, make you never wanna leave. So don't, so don't.”_

Zayn started to move his hips to the beat of the music and ran the tips of his fingers down Liam’s face. Then he circled around him to stand behind his chair. He ran his hands down Liam’s chest from behind and ran his lips in a barely there touch along Liam’s neck. Liam sucked in a breath and when he lifted his hand to touch Zayn, the boy held his hands down firmly and shook his head with a sly smile as he sang along to the lyrics ‘so don’t.’

  
  
_“Gonna wear that dress you like, skin-tight. Do my hair up real, real nice. And syncopate my skin to your heart beating.”_

Zayn had circled back to stand in front of Liam and ran his hands down the front of his own body as he swayed his hips in sensuous circles and sang along to the lyrics, while keeping his hazy eyes locked with Liam’s. Holding the edge of his shirt teasingly, he lifted it a fraction and twisted it in his hands. Beneath that Liam caught sight of black lace panties and he clenched his fists so tightly with shock that Zayn smiled and winked. He continued to dance with a slow swaying of his hips and dropped the hem of his shirt to raise his arms above his head and close his eyes. He bit his lip and made a blissed-out face that made Liam feel like he was about to come on the spot. He truly could not believe what he was seeing.

 

_“Cause I just wanna look good for you, good for you. I just wanna look good for you, good for you.”_

 

As he sang along to these lyrics, Zayn came right up to Liam and wrapped his arms around his neck. Liam looked up at Zayn and shook his head slightly in disbelief, feeling like his body was on fire. Zayn smiled seductively and took Liam’s hands to place them on his own waist as he continued to dance in front of Liam and run his hands all over his own body.

 

_“Let me show you how proud I am to be yours, leave this dress a mess on the floor. And still look good for you, good for you.”_

With effortless grace, Zayn straddled Liam as he softly sang ‘show you how proud I am to be yours.’ The shirt he was wearing was pushed up by the action and it bunched around his hips. The bare expanse of his smooth legs were framing Liam’s own. He was grinding his hips down onto Liam’s lap in the most exquisite torture possible. As he sang along to ‘leave this dress a mess on the floor,’ he ran his hand down his shirt and pulled a few of the buttons open to reveal the lacy black panties that were hugging his hips. Liam practically growled which made Zayn smile and blink his eyes slowly. He raised his body a little above Liam and gripped the man’s hair as he rolled his body forward while singing ‘look good for you.’

 

“Fuck.” Was all Liam could mutter as Zayn wouldn’t let Liam touch him.

 

_“I'm on my marquise diamonds, I'm a marquise diamond, could even make that Tiffany jealous.”_

Zayn slowly climbed off Liam then walked backwards and sat onto the edge of the bed which was directly in front of Liam. He pushed open his legs slowly and ran his hands down his thighs teasingly. As he sang along to ‘could even make that Tiffany jealous’ he touched his fingertips to his lips then ran them down his chest and lightly over his dick. Liam realized he had close to zero self-control left as he watched Zayn touch himself teasingly and drive Liam to the point of insanity.

_  
“You say I give it to you hard. So bad, so bad. Make you never wanna leave. I won't, I won't.”_

Zayn walked back over to Liam again and pushed the man’s legs apart to settle his knee in between and climb into his lap again. As Zayn smiled teasingly and sang along to ‘give it to you hard,’ he gripped Liam’s hair tightly and yanked his head back a little to bite him under his jaw. Liam sucked in a breath and gazed at Zayn with fiery passion in his eyes. There had never been a moment before in his life where he had wanted to fuck Zayn this God damn badly. It felt like a life or death situation. At the ‘I won’t’ part Zayn touched his lips to Liam’s but didn’t kiss him. Taking the man’s lower lip into his mouth, Zayn bit it and sucked on it tantalizingly.

_“Gonna wear that dress you like, skin-tight, do my hair up real, real nice, and syncopate my skin to how you're breathing.”_

Zayn balanced his knees on the sides of Liam’s chair and rose up above him to move his hips perfectly to the beat and run his hands through his own hair. He then expertly opened the few buttons he had closed and pushed the silky material open to reveal the smooth expanse of his chest. Liam let his eyes roam down Zayn’s body with a pulsing need to just ruin the boy. When his eyes locked on those panties again he felt like he couldn’t breathe. With a clear view of them now, Liam felt his dick filling up. It was throbbing with the desire to push the lace material to the side, and fuck Zayn senseless.

_“Cause I just wanna look good for you, good for you, I just wanna look good for you, good for you.”_

Zayn stood in front of Liam again and turned in slow circles as he swayed his hips and danced. He even bent down and ran his hands down his legs, giving Liam an unobstructed view of his lace covered ass. When he faced Liam again, he ran his hands down his body and pushed the edge of the panties down ever so slightly and then let them snap back against his skin with a sound that made Liam groan and push his palm against his dick for relief.

 

“Baby you’re fucking kill me,” Liam murmured in a voice deep with raw desire.

_  
“Let me show you how proud I am to be yours, leave this dress a mess on the floor, and still look good for you, good for you.”_

Zayn moved forward and took Liam’s hands to place them on his own ass then ran his own hands down Liam’s body.  As the phrase ‘leave this dress a mess on the floor’ came up this time, Zayn walked a few steps back and keeping his eyes locked with Liam he pushed his shirt off his body. It fell onto the floor in a silky white puddle.

 

_“Trust me, I can take you there. Trust me, I can take you there. Trust me, I, trust me, I, trust me, I...”_

This time Zayn walked over to Liam as he sang along with Selena to the lyrics, but with a fire burning in his black rimmed hazel eyes. He sat in Liam’s lap with his back to the man’s chest this time. Taking a hold of Liam’s hand, Zayn ran it up his own thigh and crotch. Liam cupped Zayn’s dick and latched his mouth onto his neck to place kisses. Zayn whimpered involuntarily but then he turned and straddled Liam with a look in his eyes that conveyed how much he wanted to quench their raging desires. He kept his eyes locked with Liam which prompted the latter to forget about keeping his hands away and he wrapped his arms around Zayn’s mostly naked body to pull him into a passionate kiss. Liam wasted no time in biting Zayn’s lips hungrily and pushing his tongue into that hot, sweet mouth to find the taste he craved. Zayn whimpered and tightened his arms and legs around Liam in a tight grip.

 

Liam was barely aware of ASAP Rocky’s rap in the background as his hands roamed down Zayn’s body and groped his black lace covered ass. When Zayn moaned at the feeling, Liam smacked his ass lightly and Zayn started grinding against Liam’s body looking for friction. Zayn was hard in the panties and Liam knew he could probably feel Liam’s hard-on under his ass.  Liam moved his lips to kiss all over Zayn’s face and neck, and grinned as the boy gave him a slow smile and bit his lip.

 

_“Jackpot hit the jackpot. Just met a bad miss without the ass shots,”_

Zayn sang along to the rap and smiled teasingly as Liam stood up with Zayn in his arms and walked the few steps to the bed. Liam threw Zayn onto the bed, who gasped as he bounced a little and laughed lightly. He ran his hand down his own body and watched Liam with unhidden appreciation as Liam smirked at him and stripped off his own shirt as slowly as Zayn had done this show.

_  
“You look good, girl, you know you did good, don't you? You look good, girl, bet it feel good, don't it?”_

Liam ran his hand down Zayn’s leg and lifted it up to kiss him on his thigh freckle and place little bites up to the edge of the panties. He looked Zayn in the eyes as the lyrics ‘bet it feel good don’t it’ played. Then he practically pounced on Zayn and pinned him down to the bed as their mouths met in a hungry kiss. Liam moved back to unzip his pants but Zayn pushed him down on the bed. Then he threw a leg over Liam and straddled him.

_“I just wanna look good for you, good for you. Baby, let me be good to you, good to you. Let me show you how proud I am to be yours. Leave this dress a mess on the floor. And still look good for you, good for you. Trust me, I, trust me, I, trust me, I...”_

As the chorus played for the last time, Zayn gave Liam a smile that was beautiful and dangerously sexy all at once. He started kissing down Liam’s bare chest and when he reached the pants, he opened the zipper and slowly peeled them off while kissing his v-line and stomach. Liam threw his head back and closed his eyes, because he knew with the image of Zayn below him, he would come right that very second.

 

“Jaan,” Zayn whispered. Liam looked at him and noticed Zayn was holding black silk ties in his hand. He held them forward and Liam looked at him confusedly for a second before he realized what Zayn wanted.

 

“You sure baby?” Liam asked as he sat up.

 

“Positive. I said I wanted you to do it someday.” Zayn smiled then smoothly rolled onto the bed to lie down with his head on the pillows. He blinked his eyeliner rimmed eyes at Liam and waited. Liam ran his eyes down Zayn’s body, which was glowing in the candle light, and when he reached those panties again, he squeezed his cock through his briefs for some relief.

 

“Okay. But the second you feel off or even slightly uncomfortable, you tell me to stop and I will back away that second. Since you’re new to this, the safe word will just be stop for now. You say stop and I will one hundred percent stop, no matter what I’m doing. Got it?” Liam asked. He knew Zayn had never done anything beyond what he had experienced with Liam, which had pretty tame so far. So he wanted to be as gentle as possible and go slowly for the boy’s sake.

 

Liam leaned down and kissed Zayn lightly on the lips and ran his hands down to toy with the edge of the lace panties. “Was this all my surprise gift?”

Zayn blushed and nodded. “Did you- was I alright? I thought I would fuck up and Harry said I should wear these to complete the look and I probably don’t pull them off too well-“

 

“Fucking hell baby,” Liam interrupted. “Are you kidding me? You do more than just pull them off, you’re giving me a heart attack right now. You don’t know how hard it is to just control myself and not ravish you. I have never in my life experienced something sexier.”

 

Zayn flushed and looked down to hide his face and held his hands out for Liam. Feeling a fire ignite in his gut, Liam took a deep breath. He held Zayn’s wrists gently and kissed all over them. Zayn smiled tenderly at him and Liam leaned down to kiss his forehead. Despite what Zayn was offering him, Liam knew he needed to be careful. And go very slowly. He took Zayn’s hands and lifted them to rest above his head on the pillow. This bed had a headboard with a metal bar which really helped them in this situation. Liam tied the silk cloth around Zayn’s wrists then looped the cloth through the headboard to restrain both his hands to the headboard. Zayn was starting to breath heavily below him and when Liam looked down, the boy was looking at him with wide eyes full of desire. After making sure the ties were secure, Liam cupped Zayn’s face and kissed him.

 

“Are you gonna be good for me baby boy?” Liam murmured.

 

“Yes,” Zayn breathed. He raised his bottom half to wrap his legs around Liam and started grinding upwards to gain some friction.

 

“Cheeky,” Liam chuckled. He grabbed Zayn’s hips to pin him down. “I’m gonna take you apart slowly baby. And like I promised once before. I’m going to have my way with you.”

 

Zayn whined which made Liam lean down and bite his lip, sucking it into his mouth. Running his hands down Zayn’s body, Liam cupped his lace covered ass and squeezed. Zayn moaned and struggled a little against the restraints. Liam looked up at his face to see if he wanted out. But Zayn smiled and shook his head. Liam pecked his lips then taking Zayn by the hips he turned him onto his stomach. The ties had been left long enough to still allow movement like this so Zayn turned over easily.

 

Liam ran a hand down Zayn’s back then rested it against the curve of his ass. Zayn squirmed desperately but Liam lightly smacked his ass to tell him to hold still. Zayn whimpered and Liam kissed him at the base of his spine. Running his hand down Zayn’s ass, Liam pushed the delicate lacy material of the panties to the side and kissed the bare skin. Zayn started grinding into the bed and Liam smiled against his skin. Peeling the panties just below the curve of his ass, but not taking them off completely, Liam kissed Zayn all across the smoothness of his skin. The boy started breathing heavily knowing what was coming. And when Liam finally pressed his tongue to his entrance, Zayn choked out a cry and tugged on the restraints.

 

“Liam!” Zayn stuttered out and pushed back.

 

“Stay still baby. I’m gonna take my time.” Liam held down his hips and proceeded to lick as slowly as he possibly could. After he had licked around the entrance, he pushed his tongue into Zayn’s heat and started thrusting his tongue deeper. Zayn was stammering out incoherent words and Liam held him tighter as he drove his tongue in further. When he hit Zayn’s prostrate he knew because the boy thrashed underneath him and cried desperately. He alternated between pushing back against Liam’s tongue and grinding against the bed.

 

“Do you want my fingers angel?” Liam asked and kissed Zayn over the round of his ass.

 

“P-please,” Zayn begged.

 

Liam kissed him on the small of his back then used his fingers to trace Zayn’s entrance first, then inserted them slowly. By the time he had three fingers pumping into him, Zayn was practically screaming for some release. Liam could feel his own dick throbbing in his briefs and he squeezed to give himself some relief. He moved back and turned Zayn around again. The boy’s eyes were glazed over and all the desperate tears he had shed had made his artfully placed eyeliner smudge. Liam used his thumbs to wipe away the smudged parts under Zayn’s eyes and kissed him gently across his face.

 

“Alright angel?” Liam asked.

 

“Alright. Just fuck me. Please,” Zayn said breathlessly.

 

“Let me get the lube first,” Liam made to get off the bed but Zayn locked his legs around his waist and prevented him from moving.

 

“Under the pillow. I prepared everything,” Zayn smiled at him. Liam chuckled and leaned down to kiss him.

 

Sure enough, he found lube and some condoms under the pillow adjacent to Zayn’s. He peeled the panties away completely and dropped them onto the floor. Then he raised Zayn’s legs up against his chest and told him to keep them there. Pouring some lube onto his fingers, Liam started pumping his fingers into Zayn again, at a slow pace. With his other hand, he teased Zayn’s nipples until they were hard. He leaned down and took one of the buds into his mouth to suck lightly. Zayn whimpered and started shaking underneath him. His body was warm and his face was streaked with fresh tears as he desperately waited for some release. Liam released his nipples to start stroking his leaking dick along with opening him up.

 

“I’m ready Li. Please just fuck me now,” Zayn cried out.

 

“Shh. I got you,” Liam murmured and kissed his sweaty forehead. He pushed off his own briefs and rolled a condom onto his dick. He covered it with lube and gave it a few strokes before he positioned himself at Zayn’s entrance. He kissed Zayn’s slack mouth then pushed in slowly as the boy’s legs tightened around him.

 

When he had fully bottomed out, Liam waited for a few beats. When Zayn pressed into his back with his heels, Liam started moving. He kept his thrusts slow at first and watched as Zayn threw his head back, his mouth agape in silent pleasure. Liam started thrusting harder and felt like there was fire running through his veins. Zayn’s breathy moans were turning him on even more and he started thrusting faster.

 

“Liam, my hands… can I?” Zayn stuttered out in the midst of his pleasure

 

“Of course baby.” Liam reached up and untied Zayn’s hands. He took the boy’s red wrists in his hands and pressed kisses across them. But then Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and pulled him into a biting kiss.

 

“Harder,” Zayn whispered.

 

Liam smirked at him then thrust into Zayn so quickly, the boy gasped as Liam hit his prostrate. His eyes practically rolled to the back of his head as he panted Liam’s name in passion.

 

“Harder. _Daddy.”_ Zayn moaned desperately and Liam practically growled.

 

“Fuck baby,” Liam groaned and started fucking into Zayn at a relentless pace. He could tell that Zayn was nearing his climax because his whimpers were getting louder and more desperate. His body was trembling like crazy and his eyes were closed. Liam took Zayn into his hand and stroked him in time with his thrusts. Zayn spilled not long after with a cry and went limp. Liam was about to pull out to finish himself with his hand, but Zayn tightened his legs around him and opened his eyes to give him a look that meant he wanted Liam to finish inside him. That look practically did it because Liam bent down to kiss Zayn intensely as he spilled inside him.

 

“God, I love you angel,” Liam panted and pushed Zayn’s sweaty hair off his forehead to kiss him all over it. “You are so incredible.”

 

“Happy birthday,” Zayn said with a lazy smile and blinked up at Liam slowly.

 

“Thank you for making my birthday the best one I’ve ever had. You’re unreal and this,” Liam waved around the room, “was fucking incredible.”

Zayn smiled and rolled on top of Liam’s chest. Liam hugged him tightly and kissed him all over his head. “I was losing my mind over that lap dance thinking that I would fuck up. But Harry told me what to do and I sort of practiced with him,” Zayn said.

 

Liam laughed and squeezed Zayn’s hips. “Is that why you two left the shops early yesterday?”

 

 “Yeah. Before that Harry made me buy the panties from the store, which was an interesting purchase,” Zayn giggled.

 

“Oh trust me, I’m gonna want to see you in those again. I thought I was going to bust when I saw them. You are just the sexiest little thing baby,” Liam said and tilted Zayn’s face up to kiss him.

 

Zayn blushed a little then smiled mischievously. “This dude named James was hitting on me at the club and I told him my boyfriend is unbelievable in bed. And boy… you went beyond unbelievable.”

 

“That bastard had no chance. Nobody can give it to you like I can,” Liam smirked and kissed him along his neck.

 

“Fuck,” Zayn sighed. “I have one more thing for you.”

 

Liam loosened his arms so Zayn could slip from the bed. Zayn picked up his white silky shirt from before and buttoned it loosely back onto his body. He went into his bag and pulled out a white package with a red bow on it. He came over to Liam with a nervous smile and crawled back onto the bed. Liam sat up as Zayn approached him.

 

“It’s been difficult trying to figure out what to get you for your birthday since you know, you have everything in the world.” Zayn laughed nervously and glanced down at the package. “This is- this is probably dumb. And not worth being given to you as a gift. For someone who gives me gifts like Cartier bracelets, and watches, and phones-“

 

“Zayn. Sweetheart. I don’t need anything from you. The fact that you’re on this trip with me is the biggest gift of all. But anything you give me I will love. Because I love you and I treasure everything you give me.” Liam kissed the boy’s forehead to quell his nerves.

 

Zayn smiled sweetly at him and after fiddling with his package, he handed it over to Liam. “I hope you like it.”

 

Liam squeezed his hand then tore open the package. Inside was a simple frame and when he turned it over his eyes widened in surprise. It was an incredibly realistic drawing of him lying on a rumpled bed, a sheet over his lower half, an arm behind his head as he smoked a cigarette and smirked slightly. The details were exceptional, with his happy trail, his stubble, the chest hairs, his messy hair. Everything was so spot on. The drawing was extraordinary and Liam was blown away by Zayn’s skill.

 

“Baby this is amazing. So fucking amazing,” Liam breathed. He looked up and noticed Zayn watching him with apprehensive eyes. “Come here.”

 

Zayn crawled into his lap and draped his arms around Liam’s neck. Liam cupped his face and pressed kisses all over it then kissed his lips. “This is incredible Zayn. The most beautiful gift I have ever received. Your talent continues to blow me away. I don’t know how you thought this was not a good enough gift. This is wonderful baby. Thank you so fucking much.” Liam hugged him tightly and kissed him across his hairline.

 

“You’re welcome,” Zayn whispered. “I- I’m so glad you liked it.”

 

“I _love_ it,” Liam corrected him. “I love the drawing, I loved the lap dance,” he chuckled as Zayn flushed a little, “I loved how you trusted me enough to let me take control during sex, I loved those sexy panties… basically I love _you_ angel. You and everything about you.”

 

“I love you too. You’re just so fucking amazing Liam. Like Niall said in the club, anyone who knows you is a witness to your wonderful soul,” Zayn said and kissed him lightly. “And I’m so glad you’ve been having a good birthday so far because that’s all I wished for. And also for me to be with you on many more birthdays to come. I love you and I always pray for your happiness, health and success meri jaan.”

 

“You… are the most exceptional person ever my love. We’re going to be with each other on many more birthdays to come. And just wait till January rolls around. I’m going to give you a birthday you’ll never forget baby.” Liam smiled and kissed Zayn’s red lips when the boy huffed a little.

 

“I can only imagine the things you’ll have planned. And I also expect a lap dance.” Zayn grinned. Liam laughed and smoothed his hands up Zayn’s bare thighs as he kissed him again.

 

“Oh and I got some cake which I think we should eat down on the beach. We leave tomorrow and I just want to enjoy the beach at night time. And we’ll have some peace and quiet because Niall said everyone is gonna stay out for a long time,” Zayn told him.

 

“Did you tell Niall you needed the house to give me a lap dance?” Liam chuckled.

 

“No you devil. I just said we needed some alone time and he said not to worry because everyone planned on going bar hopping around the city,” Zayn said as he got off the bed.

 

“Mmm.” Liam hummed, distracted by the curve of Zayn’s ass peeking out from under the white button down.

 

“Come on jaan. You can check out my ass later,” Zayn giggled.

 

Liam looked up to see Zayn giving him a mischievous look. Liam smirked slowly and when Zayn realized what Liam was about to do, he turned and darted through the balcony onto the steps leading onto the beach. Liam yanked on his pants quickly then ran after Zayn. He caught up to Zayn quickly, who was running down the beach barefoot. Liam grabbed him from behind and Zayn shrieked as Liam spun him around. They fell onto the edge of the beach and Liam rolled on top of Zayn to kiss him passionately. They were kissing for a few moments when a wave crashed over them, drenching them completely. Zayn screamed in shock and Liam started laughing loudly. He got up to his feet and pulled Zayn up too.

 

“Trust me?” Liam asked.

 

“Always,” Zayn said breathlessly.

 

“Come on,” Liam held out his hand for Zayn to take. The boy gripped his hand tightly as Liam led them into the water. They waded into it till they were waist deep in the water. Zayn looked a little anxious but he smiled when Liam gave his hand a squeeze.

 

“I love you,” Liam murmured, like it was just a fact of life now.

 

“I love you too,” Zayn said and wrapped his arms around Liam to kiss him. Liam cupped his ass and hoisted him up so the boy could wrap his legs around Liam’s waist. They kissed for what felt like hours as the waves crashed on them and around them, soaking them completely. When their lips grew numb, Liam walked them back onto the beach and set Zayn down with a kiss to his forehead.

 

“I think I was promised cake?” Liam inquired with a smile.

 

“I was promised sex on the beach but you have yet to deliver,” Zayn sighed dramatically. 

 

“Oh I could do that right now. I will deliver baby,” Liam said and tugged Zayn forward by the front of his shirt.

 

“Actually, I have a solution for both.” Zayn took his hand and led him down the beach where he had a large blanket set up with a bucket holding a champagne bottle, a box which probably held cake and some unlit candles. Zayn settled onto the blanket and lit the candles then unboxed the cake. Liam sprawled beside him and when Zayn was done cutting up the cake, he straddled Liam with a grin.

 

“Hi beautiful,” Liam said and rubbed his chin affectionately.

 

“Hi handsome,” Zayn replied with a smile. He broke off a piece of cake then fed it to Liam with his fingers. Liam held onto Zayn’s hand and licked the frosting clean from his fingers.

 

After they ate most of the cake by feeding each other with their fingers, Zayn gave him a shy smile and pulled a pack of lube out from under the blanket as well. Liam chuckled lovingly and kissed him. Zayn didn’t need much prep and after shedding their minimum items of clothing, they started kissing and grinding lazily. Zayn stayed on top of him and after positioning Liam at his entrance, he slid down smoothly. They both moaned in pleasure and after a few moments, Zayn started riding him. He started off slowly, then he built up a quicker pace. Liam sat up and wrapped his arms around Zayn to keep him steady, and helped him move up and down. Their moans were mingling with the crash of the waves and for a second time that night, they came in each other’s arms, under the moonlight. When they crashed onto the blanket, Liam took Zayn into his arms and kissed him all over his face. Zayn laughed breathlessly then looked up at him with a grin.

 

“Sex on the beach is fantastic,” he breathed. Liam burst out laughing and tugged Zayn forward to kiss him into a puddle of giggles. Liam held onto Zayn as they lay out there and looked at the stars while sharing kisses and whispers of ‘I love you.’ There was no night that could compare to how amazing this one night had been. And it was all thanks to the wonderful beautiful boy he held in his arms. Love made everything more beautiful.

 

 

**

 

 

“I can’t believe how fast these past few days, heck these past few weeks flew by. This whole summer flew by. And when we land, I have to go home and finish my packing because day after I move into my dorm. And start college,” Zayn sighed.

 

He tightened his jacket around his body, the ‘PAYNE 27’ bomber jacket, and curled up closer to Liam. It was the day after Liam’s birthday and they were on the jet back to New York. Everyone was asleep on the jet right now, wiped out from the late night partying yesterday, and Zayn himself was yawning into Liam’s side. The man was doing some work on his laptop, already back to his work schedule and he dropped a kiss to Zayn’s head.

 

“It is crazy but these past two months have been amazing. And you should be excited for college baby. It’ll be the best years of your life,” Liam said.

 

“Just a little nervous,” Zayn sighed tiredly.

 

“You still haven’t told me if you need help moving in. I have a couple things to do at the office that day but I can make time,” Liam told him.

 

“No I… don’t take this the wrong way jaan… but you’re a celebrity and you’re especially a very well known face around NYU. I don’t think you should be there on move in day. People will just swarm you and act crazy,” Zayn said and squeezed his arm.

 

“True.” Liam shut his laptop and smiled at Zayn. “If you’re sleepy we still have six more hours. We can sleep in the back.”

“Carry me,” Zayn yawned and stretched his arms. He gave Liam a sweet smile who in turn kissed his nose fondly. The he picked up Zayn and carried him to the small bedroom at the back of the jet. He laid him down and turned around to kick his shoes off. Zayn peeled off his jacket and kicked his own shoes off too. When Liam fell down beside him, Zayn rolled on top of him and grinned.

 

“But first… make me a member of the mile-high club.” He smiled down at Liam and bit his lip.

 

“Someone has been wild these past few days,” Liam laughed and kissed him.

 

“You know you want to,” Zayn said teasingly and ran a finger down Liam’s face.

 

“Oh I want to.” Liam smirked and flipped them around to pin Zayn against the bed. Zayn’s laughs were cut off by Liam’s lips attaching to his own, and another one of his wishes was granted.

 

 

**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that! 22k words of JUST happy stuff might be draining for some people and once again I apologize if you're waiting for serious stuff but we're coming close now. The second half of the fic officially starts with chapter 15 (i cant even believe its at the half point tbh it makes me really sad and i lowkey would write infinite chapters if possible so it wouldnt end but i know thats ridiculous and it has to end sometime and i have the fic planned out exactly, but i will be emotional af when it ends). And yeah next chap Zarry move into their dorm and Louis enters in the next chap too. There's still loads of comedy and romantic stuff but the plot line starting the angst/drama will start soon too :) Buckle up. Thank you again for being so kind and supportive and leaving me such lovely messages and comments. Even if I don't get time to reply sometimes, trust me I read ALL of them and they put the biggest smile on my face. I love you guys <33
> 
> p.s. I hope the constant addition of songs in this chapter wasn't annoying.. I know not everyone likes that but I kind of like inserting songs and their lyrics as a scene flows with it, but yeah, sorry if it bothered you. 
> 
> p.p.s. and I hope I did okay with the bondage scene because not only had I never written smut before this fic, I had also never written anything in the dom/sub area and I really hope I didn't fuck that up. I kept it tame as a starting point.. but maybe I'll do something taken a notch higher later on :)


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy :) I hope you guys have been good. I finished this chapter at the rough goal I had set for myself despite having exams these past two weeks and some other stuff going on too *pats self on back* lol but yeah I've been writing in the spare time I had between studying for exams and the chapter got completed fairly early :) I'm going to let you read for now but there's some things I'll say in the end notes. Oh and I've been reading the comments people left on the last chapter and I've been smiling so hard because you guys are literally the SWEETEST and I do not deserve your love. I didn't have a chance to reply to them yet but just know I appreciate each and every single comment, it's like motivation to write more and quicker! Thank you, I love you <3

 

 

“Be careful with that box!”

 

“I know, I know!”

 

Zayn stumbled through the open door as he carried a box with an electric kettle balanced on top. The main lobby of his new residence hall was filled with other kids and their parents hauling luggage. His own parents were carrying stuff out of their car with the help of Doniya and Amir, who had carried some of Zayn’s things in their car. Harry was right behind them as he tugged a large suitcase out of his mom’s car.

 

“What floor Zee?” Doniya asked as she walked up behind him, carrying pillows.

 

“Fifth floor.” Zayn panted and set the box down at the foot of the stairs. He turned around as his mom and dad came up behind them with boxes and Safaa carrying a small bag. Zayn glared at Waliyha who was empty-handed behind them.

 

“You know Wali there’s no point of you being here if you’re not going to help out,” Zayn said pointedly.

 

“I am not walking up five flights of stairs carrying boxes. And besides Amir Bhai got the last one.” She nodded her head in the direction of Amir who walked in last, carrying two boxes together.

 

“Lazy ass.” Doniya flicked Waliyha’s head.

 

Zayn lead the way up the five flights of stairs, after which him and his entire family were exhausted under the weight of the boxes. Pushing his way past the crowded hallway that was filled with loud chatter, he reached the door of his future room, 505.

 

“This is it,” Zayn said, feeling nervous. He pushed his new key into the lock and unlocked the door. Kicking it open, he entered the room. Zayn dropped the box he had been carrying down and tried to catch his breath as he did a sweep of the room. It was a fair-sized room with single beds pushed against opposite walls. There was a large window between the two beds with a table underneath it. Matching desks and chests of drawers were at the foot of each bed and one small closet to share was on the wall opposite from the beds. Everything was bare and clean, the walls white and the beds undressed. Zayn felt a tingle in his stomach as he realized this would be his and Harry’s new home.

 

“This is better than I expected, I gotta say. Our new home Zay.” Harry came up beside him and dropped his bag down. Zayn smiled and nodded as he watched Safaa fling herself down on one of the beds.

 

“Bhaiya is this where you’re gonna be living?” Safaa asked as she jumped up and down on the bed.

 

“Yup.” Zayn caught her in his arms and kissed her all over her head causing her to start giggling.

 

“Get off the bed Safoo let me make Bhaiya’s bed,” Tricia said and pulled out new sheets and bed covers.

 

“Can I claim this side Zay?” Harry asked as he fell onto the bed on the left side of the room, near the door.

 

“Sure. I don’t mind either.” Zayn shrugged.

 

“Awesome!” Harry grinned and leaned down to grab his bag.

 

“Harry at least take your shoes off your new bed,” Anne scolded as she began unboxing Harry’s stuff.

 

“Sorry Mom.” Harry rolled his eyes.

 

“Do you boys want to move anything around?” Yaser inquired.

 

“I think this is alright,” Zayn replied. He pulled open his box of clothes to start setting them into drawers. Doniya knelt down beside him to help him out and they finished rather quickly. Zayn’s clothes already being neatly organized and folded in the boxes helped the process.

 

Anne and Gemma were helping out Harry with his stuff and Zayn’s family with his. Pretty soon the things they had brought from home were almost all put away in drawers or into the closet. Their beds were made up with sheets and only a few boxes with small knick-knacks and posters were left over. Both the families were sitting around the small room sharing the pizzas Amir had picked up and giving the two boys ‘last minute advice’ amongst laughs.

 

“But honestly guys remember to study hard,” Doniya warned.

 

“And also to have fun and not be boring like Doniya.” Amir winked at them, getting a nudge from his wife in return.

 

“Stay away from the hardcore parties,” Yaser said. “The frat house kinds where nothing good happens.”

“Please Baba. First off, I would never be invited and even if I was, I wouldn’t be caught dead near one,” Zayn affirmed.

 

“Sure.” Harry smirked.

 

“I’m sure,” Zayn said sternly.

 

“Keep an eye on this trouble-maker would you Zayn?” Anne sighed as she squeezed Harry’s face affectionately. “You’re the good one and I need you to watch over him.”

“I’ll keep him in line.” Zayn laughed.

 

“Zee. Amir and I have a present for you. I wanted to give it to you earlier but Amir said we should wait until the day you move in,” Doniya said and signalled Amir to grab something. Amir picked up a plain black bag from the ground and handed it over to Zayn with a smile and pat on the back.

 

“For doing so well in high school and getting into NYU on a scholarship. You work so hard bud and we’re proud of you,” Amir said.  

 

“Thanks Amir Bhai,” Zayn answered with a flush on his cheeks. He looked at Doniya who was smiling warmly at him and reached into the bag. His hand came in contact with a large box and when he pulled it out, he was surprised to see a brand-new MacBook.

 

“Oh my- you guys didn’t have to do this,” Zayn said with wide eyes.

 

“We love you jaan. And we’re so proud.” Doniya wrapped him up in a hug and kissed his head.

 

“Thank you.” Zayn leaned up and kissed her cheek, then gave Amir a hug as well.

“I better be treated the same when I get into college,” Waliyha huffed.

 

“Jealousy isn’t a good look Wali,” Yaser teased. “And we should get going. It’s getting late.”

 

Zayn felt his gut twist into knots as his family got up, ready to leave. All summer he had distantly known that he would be moving into this dorm and officially leaving his family behind. He had never even gone on an extended vacation away from his family for too long and now he was officially moved out.

 

“Jaan,” Tricia said softly and took Zayn’s hands. “Are you going to be okay?”

 

Zayn couldn’t find it in himself to speak as his throat started to feel rocky. He just nodded in response. Tricia sensed his nervousness and pulled him into a hug. Zayn tucked his face into his mom’s shoulder and breathed in her familiar scent. The smell of home. He wanted to memorize it because he wouldn’t have the liberty of breathing it in every day. He felt a hand on his back and turned around to face his dad. His stomach twisted even more when he saw the wetness in Yaser’s eyes and the fond smile on his face.

 

“Come here,” Yaser said and pulled him into a hug. Zayn buried his face into his dad’s chest and held onto him tightly. This was harder than he thought it would be.

 

“You’re such an intelligent and bright boy Zayn. These next few years are going to be the best of your life. You’re going to do so brilliantly here beta I’m sure of it. Just remember to believe in yourself and keep your faith strong. This is just the beginning of your life.” Yaser squeezed him and kissed the top of his head. Zayn nodded his head and squeezed his eyes to hold back his tears.

 

“And don’t be scared. I know you are and that’s normal. But just remember that there is nothing to be worried about. Allah is always with you. And so are we. Okay?” Yaser kissed his forehead one last time, then moved back to smile at him. 

 

“I know,” Zayn whispered and smiled back. “I love you Baba.”

 

“Love you too beta.” Yaser hugged him again before letting him go.

 

Zayn hugged the remaining members of his family, even Waliyha gave him a half-hearted punch before hugging him tightly. With just the youngest member of the Malik family left, Zayn turned to Safaa with a smile. She was sitting on the edge of his bed, watching them all with wide eyes.

 

“Safoo.” Zayn kneeled on the ground before her and opened up his arms. Safaa fell into his arms and clung to him fiercely.

 

“Are you never gonna come home Bhaiya?” She asked worriedly.

 

“No silly. I’ll come home on the weekends whenever I can. And you can come visit me here with Maa or Baba. I would miss you too much if I went too long without seeing you.” Zayn kissed her head and rubbed her small back.

 

“Okay. You should come home next weekend then. We’ll make brownies together.” She moved back and looked for reassurance in his face.

 

“I’ll try my best buttercup.” Zayn kissed her forehead then helped her stand up.

 

“Don’t forget to eat on time and take your medications beta.” Tricia hugged him tightly again. “I love you jaan. And I’m so proud of you.”

 

“Love you too Maa.” Zayn held her tightly, not wanting to let go, until Yaser gently reminded them that they needed to leave.

 

“Call me anytime you feel like it,” Tricia told him. Zayn nodded and she smiled lovingly at him, taking his face in. Zayn gave her a reassuring smile which prompted her to sigh and move away.

 

“Khuda hafiz jaan,” Tricia said.

 

“Khuda hafiz.” Zayn smiled and waved at Safaa who was looking at him sadly from between Yaser’s arms. After a few lingering goodbyes with no one wanting to leave, Doniya finally stepped up and forced everyone to leave. Zayn sat on the edge of his bed as he watched his family’s retreating backs disappear down the corridor.

 

Harry returned to the room after having gone down to the car to say goodbye to his family. He shut the door to their room and smiled at Zayn.

 

“This is it. We’re officially independent.” Harry fell onto the bed beside Zayn.

 

“Yeah,” Zayn replied and fell back beside Harry. “Feels strange.”

 

“What do you want to do tonight? A few kids in the hallway told me there’s a sort of party in the lounge downstairs tonight. To get to know the people living in this building and mingle or whatever,” Harry informed him.

 

“I still have some unpacking to do. In fact, so do you.” Zayn signalled towards Harry’s boxes.

 

“Don’t become my mom ZayZay.” Harry pinched his cheek.

 

“You’re gonna have fun being my roommate Haz.” Zayn laughed and tickled his side. Harry reached out and grabbed his arms to pin him down. Zayn yelped as Harry attacked him with tickles.

 

“Harry stop! You know how ticklish I am!” Zayn screeched and tried to wriggle free.

 

“No can do baby!” Harry continued to tickle him all over until Zayn had streams of tears running down his cheeks. They were so absorbed in their tangle that they didn’t hear the knock on their door, or it opening up. What did stop them was the loud clearing of a throat.

 

“Would it be awfully strange of me if I asked to join in?”

 

Zayn snapped his head towards the door where a brown haired, blue eyed boy was leaning against the doorframe, watching them with a mischievous smile.

 

“By all means,” Harry said. Zayn turned to his best friend and saw him watching the stranger with a smile that only meant one thing. Harry was intrigued. Zayn internally groaned and pushed Harry off to sit up straight.

 

“Enticing. I’m Louis Tomlinson. I’m in the room next to yours. And you two are…?” The boy walked in and sat down on Harry’s bed opposite them.

 

“Harry Styles. And this is Zayn Malik.” Harry ran a hand through his hair and grinned so widely at the boy that his dimples deepened.

 

“Nice to meet you guys.” Louis looked over both of them and smiled. “Where are you from?”

 

“Brooklyn. Born and bred,” Harry replied.

“Nice. I’m from New Jersey. My friend Natasha is also from New Jersey and she’s living down the hall so I’m glad I have someone I know here. Are you two… together?” Louis wondered with a curious gaze.

 

“No. You have no idea how often we hear that. We’re best friends, more like brothers. And Zayn is very much taken anyways.” Harry grinned and ruffled Zayn’s hair.

 

“Oh well that’s a little disappointing,” Louis joked and grinned at Zayn. “Is the person you’re dating also going to NYU?”

 

“No, my boyfriend isn’t in college,” Zayn answered politely, not sure if he wanted to tell this inquisitive stranger everything.

 

“Aww. Did you leave that poor bastard behind in high school?” Louis asked sympathetically.

 

“No… he’s umm, he’s graduated college. A few years ago in fact,” Zayn answered.

 

“Ahh. Older man. Nice.” Louis’s eyes sparkled and he gave Zayn an appreciative nod. “And what about you Harry?”  
  
“Available. Very much.” Harry leaned back and tilted his head as he took in Louis, who was smiling back just the same. Zayn sighed internally knowing that he was probably going to be witness to a lot of flirting in the future. When Harry set his eyes on something, he went for it.

 

“Do you guys want anything to drink? My mini-fridge is stocked,” Louis said as he got up.

 

“Actually I have to-“ Zayn started but Harry nudged him.

 

“Of course,” Harry replied quickly.

“Follow me then. Just to warn you. My roommate is a weirdo so just ignore him if he’s there.”  
  
Louis walked out the room and they both followed him. Harry looked at his ass appreciatively and shot Zayn a smirk. Zayn rolled his eyes and smacked Harry on the back of his head.

 

“Honestly Haz are you ready to sleep with people the second you meet them?” Zayn asked exasperatedly.  

 

“Well if they look like that then yeah.” Harry shrugged and smiled shamelessly as they walked into Louis’ room after him.

 

“Welcome to my humble abode.” Louis waved them in as he pushed his room door open. At first glance, Zayn saw a bunch of boxes on the ground and the desks covered in all sorts of different things. Both sides of the room already had posters up and when he glanced to the right side where Louis was pushing stuff off his desk chair to make room, he saw something which made him freeze.

 

“What are you- no fucking way.” Harry gasped and started cackling as he came to a stop beside Zayn.

 

“This is not happening,” Zayn muttered.

 

“What’s so funny?” Louis asked curiously.

 

What neither Zayn or Harry could explain to him between Zayn’s shocked face and Harry’s giggles was, that they were looking at the posters on Louis’ wall which ranged between TV shows, singers, athletes etc. But the big one in the centre had caught their attention because it was of Liam. A poster of Liam in his football gear back from when he played, looking at the camera with a serious expression and a hand running through his sweaty hair, with the backdrop of a football field. Zayn felt whiplash as he stared at his boyfriend plastered up on this stranger’s wall.

 

“You see Liam is-“ Harry began in the middle of his laughs but Zayn stepped on his foot.

 

“Liam Payne is one of Harry’s favourite players back from when he played so it’s just funny to see him on your wall as well.” Zayn shot Harry a quick look signalling him to not mention the real reason.

 

“Right,” Harry agreed although he hadn’t stopped smiling.

 

“Nice choice Styles!” Louis grinned and smacked his back. “Liam Payne was and still is my favourite football player. I came to NYU on a football scholarship because I look up to him. He’s been my inspiration since the very beginning and I always wanted to follow in his footsteps and play football starting at NYU. So here I am.”

 

“And he’s hot too.” Harry smirked and purposefully wiggled his eyebrows at Zayn. If only murder was legal. Zayn wanted to slit Harry’s throat.

 

“Fuck me I know. God. The things I would let this man do to me. Ugh...” Louis looked at Liam’s poster and sighed. “He’s so daddy.”

 

Zayn spluttered and quickly covered it up with a cough. This was a god-damn nightmare. He wanted to keep his relationship with Liam private coming into college because he wasn’t ready to draw attention to himself by letting people know he was dating someone so high-profile. But this? The universe was mocking him.

 

“What? Do you not agree?” Louis asked with raised eyebrows.

 

“No I… I’m sorry I just…” Zayn stammered.

 

“He’s very innocent don’t mind him. Your use of daddy put him into cardiac arrest for a moment.” Harry accepted a can of soda from Louis and sat down.

 

“Awww. Well don’t mind me I just have a massive daddy kink for this man.” Louis laughed and tossed Zayn a can of coke as well.

 

“Ya Allah,” Zayn mumbled to himself.

 

“Although he has been dating this mystery guy for a while and I’m really interested to know who it is,” Louis mused.

 

“I saw that too,” Harry said.

 

“What was your boyfriend’s name Zayn?” Louis asked.

 

“Umm... James,” Zayn said, using Liam’s old joke.

 

“Liam Payne’s middle name is James,” Louis mused. “What does he do?” He asked.

 

“He works in a management firm,” Zayn replied cautiously.

 

“Mhm.” Louis took a sip and looked at Zayn carefully. “Well you and this James should spice up your sex life a little because by the way you reacted to daddy, it seems like you’re stuck in the vanilla zone. Trust me. Make it fun.”

 

“OK…. Sure. I need to get back to unpacking.” Zayn was in a daze from the strange few minutes he had spent in this room.

 

“Lou, are we going or not?” The door was thrown open and two girls walked in. One tossed Louis a roll of tape before she turned and looked at Zayn and Harry. “Who are your new friends?”

 

“Harry, Zayn, this is my friend Natasha and her roommate Shalini. Tash these are my next-door neighbours Harry and Zayn.” Louis introduced them all.

 

“Nice to meet you guys. Are you coming to the party downstairs as well?” Natasha asked them.

 

“Of course,” Harry replied.

 

“I have some unpacking to do but maybe later. It was nice meeting you guys.” Harry gave Zayn a look but Zayn gave him one back which indicated he would be there later. Harry nodded in response and Zayn walked back to his room. He shut the door and went to fall face-first onto his bed. His first night into this place and it was already fucked up.

 

Zayn kicked off his shoes and pulled his comforter over his body. He pulled his phone out of his pocket went to Liam’s contact name. Zayn traced his finger over the word ‘Jaan’ he had saved as Liam’s contact and the picture of him. Zayn smiled and clicked on FaceTime call hoping that Liam would be available right now. It rang a few times and just when Zayn decided to turn it off, Liam picked up.

 

“Hi baby.” Liam was lying on what Zayn recognized as his living room sofa. He was smiling brightly at Zayn through the screen even though his eyes looked a little tired.

 

“Hi jaan. Did I disturb you?” Zayn asked, even though a smile graced his own face just by seeing Liam’s face after more than day.

 

“No, I just got out of the shower a little while ago. Work was long today. How’s your move in day going?” Liam asked as he brought a cigarette to his lips. His hair was still damp and messy after the shower just like Zayn loved so much. He suddenly wished so badly that he could curl up beside Liam and run his fingers through his hair. And kiss him. It had been more than a day since they had seen each other and Zayn missed him so badly.

 

“It’s alright. My family left a little while ago but they helped me set up and unpack everything. Me and Harry have a strange neighbour. And there’s a party downstairs in the lounge for everyone who lives in this hall but I don’t know if I wanna go.” Zayn sighed and draped his comforter over his head to get more comfortable.

 

Liam chuckled fondly and ran his fingers through his hair. “Why don’t you wanna go? You’ll get to meet people and make friends.”

 

“I know… it’s just… it’s nerve-wracking. There’s so many people and it’ll be loud and crowded and I…” Zayn trailed off and bit the end of his thumbnail nervously.

 

“Angel…” Zayn looked back at his phone screen to see Liam giving him a look of concern and love. “I know these types of situations stress you out and give you anxiety. And if it really worries you, don’t go. But I think you’ll also regret not going and getting to know the people you’re going to be living with for the next year. If Harry is with you, you should be fine right?” Liam asked him gently.

 

“Yeah…” Zayn murmured. “I miss you.”

 

“I miss you too my love. I haven’t held you or kissed your sweet face for more than a day and it’s really hard. But you should take these opportunities and get the whole freshman experience.” Liam gave him a soft smile.

 

“Don’t be logical that’s my job.” Zayn gave a small laugh.

 

“Okay my logic angel.” Liam chuckled. “I love you so _so_ much.”

  
  
“I love you too,” Zayn replied and longed to be in Liam’s arms. “Tomorrow there’s an orientation ceremony on campus and day after that is my first day of classes. I…”

 

“What is it?” Liam asked gently.

 

“Am I stupid to be so anxious? I mean this is the regular run-down for any freshman. Orientation ceremonies, mixers and what not. But I just want to hide out in my dorm room because everything seems overwhelming.” Zayn’s voice started to shake and he bit his lip before he ranted further.

 

“Zayn, my love, it’s okay. It’s perfectly okay to feel this way. Those orientation ceremonies are pretty formal, you’ll just be sitting in the crowd while the dean and some alumni give speeches. And don’t worry about your first day of classes. You’re so intelligent and you’re going to do brilliantly. Just remember, three deep breaths whenever you feel anxious.” Liam said everything calmly and Zayn felt warmth flood his body.

 

“Thanks, jaan. I wish you were here in person.” Zayn smiled at him and Liam grinned.

 

“I do too. But I’ll see you tomorrow,” Liam told him.

 

“How? I have to take part in all that stupid orientation stuff,” Zayn answered with dread.

 

“You’re adorable. I wanted to surprise you but I’ll just tell you now. I’m giving a speech at the orientation ceremony under the alumni category. I’ve done it for the past few years. They like to bring ‘successful’ alumni to raise the morale of the freshman,” Liam explained.

 

“Jaan,” Zayn exclaimed happily. “I’m so excited now. It’ll be deja vu from when you gave the speech at my high school and I was dying of embarrassment in the crowd after the James thing.”

 

“I remember just thinking about fucking you the entire time I was giving that speech.” Liam smirked.

 

“Besharam.” Zayn giggled. When Liam gave him a confused look, Zayn smiled. “It means shameless. Which is what you are.”

 

“Proudly.” Liam grinned widely at him and blew his smoke away from the screen.

 

“Oh but… I can’t like _be_ with you in front of other people because you’re very high profile, especially on NYU grounds, and I don’t want the attention just yet,” Zayn said apologetically.

 

“That’s okay baby. I’ll see you after that,” Liam replied.

 

“You better. I miss you too much.” Zayn pouted. Liam smiled fondly at him as he played with the Cartier chain on his neck. Zayn gasped when he heard some familiar music playing in the background of Liam’s place.

 

“Jaan! Are you watching Game of Thrones?” Zayn shouted.

 

“Yeah, I didn’t get to watch Sunday’s episode and the rerun is on HBO right now,” Liam said.

 

“I still have to watch it too! I missed it while we were in Barcelona. I’ll put the episode on my laptop and we can watch it together.” Zayn grabbed his laptop and found a link for the episode.

 

“How do you call yourself the biggest fan and miss episodes?” Liam gasped in mock shock.

 

“Shut up.” Zayn gave a small glare although he was smiling.

 

“Don’t you have a party?” Liam reminded him.

 

“No fuck that. Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen await.” Zayn grinned and settled back into bed in a comfortable position.

 

“You’re so fucking cute.” Liam laughed and got comfortable on his sofa.

 

“Thank you. I love you my sun and stars.” Zayn giggled.

 

“I love you more moon of my life.” Liam winked at him.

 

 

**

 

 

Zayn awoke to a loud pounding happening somewhere in his room, that was definitely not a part of his confusing dream where he was riding Daenerys’ dragons with her. He peeled an eye open and felt confused when he saw he wasn’t in his bedroom back in Brooklyn. But after a few seconds he remembered moving into the dorm and looked across the room to where Harry was sleeping, spread out like a starfish.

 

“Who is that?” Harry mumbled in an annoyed voice.

 

Zayn groaned and pulled himself from bed. He stumbled across the room and opened it to have Louis barge in.

 

“Rise and shine cuties!” He was way too chirpy and bright faced this morning. Zayn hadn’t gone to most of the party but Harry had come looking for him after he had finished his FaceTime with Liam. He had dragged him down and Zayn had spent an hour at the party. It ended up okay as they spent most of their time with Louis, Natasha and Shalini. Zayn had left after an hour when he felt tired but Harry hadn’t returned until 3 a.m., drunk as well. He had explained how he and Louis had ended up in the room of some guy who had alcohol stashed away and they had all gotten drunk. So, Zayn had no idea how Louis was so fresh right now.

 

“I brought you guys breakfast from the cafeteria.” Louis set down the tray of coffees and a paper bag which had the smell of fresh muffins wafting through.

 

“Umm, thanks.” Zayn yawned and lay back down on his bed.

 

“You should wake up too sleeping beauty.” Louis ruffled Harry’s hair. “We should get to campus. There’s so much going on and then there’s the orientation ceremony.”

 

“I just want to die. My head hurts so much.” Harry groaned miserably.

 

“Shower and coffee. Works wonders. Let’s go curly!” Louis pulled Harry’s comforter off him which made the latter moan irritably.

 

“Which way are the showers?” Zayn asked Louis.

 

“Down the hall to the right for male bathrooms,” Louis said as he inspected Zayn’s shelves of books.

 

“Thanks,” Zayn replied and grabbed his toiletries and clothes. He left the room and headed towards the showers as he heard Louis continue to try and wake Harry up.

 

When they were all eventually ready for the day, they walked towards the main campus. After getting maps they explored whatever parts they could since the entire university was too big to explore. Louis dragged them to many events and seemed to be a complete social butterfly. He was like a twin to Harry’s boisterous personality. Wherever Louis went, Harry went along excitedly and dragged Zayn by the hand too. When it was time for the orientation ceremony, they went to the main auditorium hall and found seats amongst the sea of students attending. Zayn found himself in between Harry and Louis who kept leaning over him to talk to each other. He was discreetly texting Liam who had informed him that he had arrived at the hall. Zayn smiled to himself as Liam teased him about what they could be doing in all this time they had been apart, and how they could make up for it later.

 

“What are you smiling at Zayner?” Louis asked.

 

“Nothing,” Zayn replied hurriedly and tucked his phone away.

 

Harry gave him a knowing look which prompted Zayn to pinch his thigh. Someone walked on stage to begin speaking which also initiated a round of cheering. After an address by the dean and student president, they announced some guest speakers. Some of whom were alumni. Zayn’s stomach flip-flopped because he knew Liam was a part of that. First there was a woman by the name of Ana Rodriguez who worked with NASA, then a man named Jesse Park who worked with Doctors without Borders and then Liam’s name was announced. Zayn couldn’t help his own smile as the crowd cheered loudly.

 

“Fuck me sideways!” Louis choked in surprise. “I had no idea he was coming here!”

 

“Did you know?” Harry whispered and Zayn nodded. Liam was shaking hands with the dean and laughing about something before he turned to the crowd and waved.

 

“Literally nothing about this place has changed and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad thing.” Liam started his speech and everyone in the crowd laughed. His speech was very light hearted and humorous as he talked about his days as a student at the university. He added motivational bits to the speech as well about success and hard work but his anecdotes and jokes made the speech interesting and everyone around him seemed captivated. When it finished, everyone cheered louder than they had before and the applause was thunderous.

 

“I’m going to push my way forward and see if I can meet him. Do you guys want to come?” Louis asked.

 

“No I’m not really into football to be honest,” Zayn lied and Harry snorted beside him.

 

“Yeah I’ll just stay with Zayn. We’ll see you later Lou,” Harry said.

 

“You’re missing out but alright. See you.” Louis grinned and disappeared into the crowd of students that were trying to push forward.

 

“You can really be a shady ass snake when you want to be ZayZay.” Harry laughed and smacked his back. “That poor guy has no idea. And when he finds out one day, he’s going to be really offended that you didn’t tell him.”

 

“Well at first I just wasn’t ready for the attention and then the lie had already been created and I couldn’t back away. If he does find out eventually I’ll deal with it, but I don’t think he will anytime soon,” Zayn remarked.

 

“Are you going to go see Liam?” Harry inquired.

 

“We’re meeting up later when he’s done here,” Zayn answered as they left the auditorium. “Some restaurant close by. But unfortunately, I have to come back after that because my first class is at 8 a.m. tomorrow.” Zayn groaned and thumped his head against Harry’s shoulder.

 

“Sucks to be you babe. My first class is 11 a.m.” Harry mocked and Zayn pinched his side.

 

“I hate you,” Zayn mumbled.

 

“Well you didn’t have to be a smart ass doing pre-med but you are and now your intense science-y classes are all going to be super early.” Harry smiled and ruffled his hair as they settled onto a bench.

 

“Science-y? Your literacy skills are impeccable.” Zayn patted Harry’s leg.

 

“They are.” Harry raised his chin arrogantly.

 

“I’m sure,” Zayn snickered as his phone buzzed. He smiled when he saw that it was from Liam.

 

From Jaan: Do you want to meet me there or should I pick you up? Love you <3

 

To Jaan: It’s not too far, I’ll see you there. Love you too <3

 

“I have to go Haz. I’ll see you tonight?” Zayn said as he stood up.

 

“Sure. Have fun with your mans babe. Tell Liam he looked sexy up there.” Harry hugged him and kissed his cheek.

 

“Will do. Bye Hazzle.” Zayn laughed and kissed his cheek, then turned around to start walking towards the restaurant. He looked up the directions and saw that it was a ten-minute walk. Plugging in his ear phones, Zayn turned on some music and started his walk.

 

 

**

 

 

“I’ll let you know when to pick me up Patrick.” Liam informed Patrick as they pulled up in front of the restaurant. The orientation ceremony at NYU had taken a while and afterwards he had to greet a few people. Despite some lingering people who wanted to start up meaningless conversations, he excused himself, citing his busy schedule, and left. He hadn’t seen Zayn in person in about two days now and it had been a little tough. Especially considering how much time they had spent in each other’s company all summer, this past weekend in Barcelona being the biggest highlight. He missed the boy every time they were apart. It was like a physical part of him was missing from his body.

 

He climbed out of the car as he texted Ameera that he wouldn’t be back at the office for the rest of the work day and she should send him all the important messages. Liam walked into the restaurant and the maître d’ walked up to him.

 

“Mr. Payne! What a delight. Would you like your usual table?” The man asked with a wide smile.

 

“Please,” Liam answered with a smile. “I’m just waiting for someone, so it’ll be a few minutes. But can you send some chardonnay, sparkling water and menus to the table now?”

 

“Of course, Mr. Payne.” The man smiled and walked away briskly.

 

Liam got a text from Zayn saying that he was close by, so Liam walked back outside to wait for him. He leaned against the wall of the restaurant and pulled out a cigarette as he waited. He had just lit up when he spotted Zayn crossing the road. Liam smiled as he watched the boy from afar, who was yet to notice him. He had headphones in his ears and was wearing his glasses as he looked at the crosswalk waiting for it to change. When it did, he crossed the road and started walking down the street towards Liam. Grinning at the sight of the boy, Liam sent him a text.

 

To Angel: You’re wearing the red henley from the first day we met and you look beautiful.

 

He watched as Zayn looked at his phone, reading the text. The boy blushed and smiled, then he looked up and spotted Liam. His smile grew wider and he ripped his headphones out of his ears. He stuffed them into his pocket along with his phone and started speed walking towards Liam. When he was a few feet away he started running and Liam opened his arms as Zayn fell into them. Liam smiled and lifted Zayn off the ground as he tightened his arms around him in an embrace.

 

“Baby,” Liam murmured. Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck tighter. Liam grinned, fondly, and pressed kisses along the side of Zayn’s head. He breathed in Zayn’s familiar scent and held him close to his body. It was funny how even 48 hours apart could feel like a lifetime.

 

“I’ve missed you, I’ve missed you, I’ve missed you,” Zayn chanted into his neck as he clung to him tightly.

 

“I missed you too angel. So fucking much.” Liam drew back and cupped Zayn’s face to kiss his soft lips. Zayn sighed in something akin to relief and parted his lips. Liam smiled and pulled Zayn closer to his own body. He ran his tongue along Zayn’s lower lip then pushed it in to get the taste he craved so much. Zayn pressed even closer and made a soft sound as Liam ran his tongue along his. Liam pulled back and Zayn huffed impatiently. Laughing lightly, Liam pressed gentle kisses to his slack mouth.

 

“Hi.” Liam grinned.

 

“Hi,” Zayn replied, blinking his dazed eyes and licking his red lips. He smiled and fell forward to hug Liam again. “I love you,” he murmured.

 

“Love you more sweetheart. Lunch?” Liam rubbed the backs of his fingers along Zayn’s cheek and kissed his forehead. Zayn nodded and leaned up to kiss his cheek before they walked into the restaurant. The maître d’ had reappeared and informed Liam that his usual table was ready. Liam thanked him then lead Zayn up the second floor where the table he usually booked was located. It was separated by a curtain and provided complete privacy.

 

Liam took off his suit jacket and placed it on the side, then fell onto the sofa-like seat. He smiled and offered his hand to Zayn. The boy giggled as Liam tugged him into his lap. Liam wrapped his arms around Zayn’s body and squeezed him gently before kissing him on his cheeks, forehead, nose and then lips.

 

“How was your day?” Liam asked.

 

“Good,” Zayn replied and rested his head on Liam’s shoulder. “Seeing you give that speech turned me on a little bit.” Zayn laughed and Liam kissed his head fondly.

 

“Oh did it?” Liam chuckled.

 

“Yeah public speaking really suits you. You look so sexy. Harry thinks so too.” Zayn faced Liam and rubbed his fingers over the man’s stubble. He moved them over Liam’s lips and the man kissed the tips of his fingers with a smile.

 

“Tell Harry thank you,” Liam said with a grin.

 

“And me?” Zayn inquired with a raised brow.

 

“You,” Liam murmured and tilted Zayn’s head to the side to kiss him. He held onto his chin to gently open it and licked his way in. “You, my love, I can thank in more ways than one.”

 

“Please do. I’ve been so deprived.” Zayn sighed and tilted his head as Liam started kissing along his neck.

 

“Poor baby. We should fix that,” Liam whispered and bit him under his jaw.

 

“Mr. Payne- oh I’m so sorry.” Liam looked up to see an embarrassed waitress paused inside the curtains that separated their table from the restaurant. “I- I can come back,” she stuttered.

 

“Give us five minutes.” Liam sighed, annoyed at being disturbed, but he knew it wasn’t her fault.

 

Zayn covered his mouth on a laugh but he was a little red with embarrassment like the waitress. Liam smirked and kissed his lips, biting the lower one, as he pulled away.

 

“Let’s order quickly so we can head back to my place afterwards. You don’t have much time since you probably want to get back to your dorm on time,” Liam said and pushed a menu towards Zayn.

 

Zayn’s eyes sparkled and a smile spread across his face. His cheeks were pink and his glasses were slightly crooked on his nose. As Liam adjusted them, Zayn smiled and cupped the back of his neck to kiss him. “Let’s get the food to go,” Zayn whispered with a smile.

 

“Cheeky.” Liam smirked. “What do you want to get?”

“Anything. Just fast. And to go.” Zayn murmured and ran his fingers down to toy with Liam’s tie.

 

“Give me a second.” Liam pecked his lips then got up to go find the waitress.

 

“Jaan!” Zayn called out to him and Liam turned around. “Can you get me the chocolate truffle cake?” Zayn smiled sweetly at him.

 

“If I get to eat it off you.” Liam cocked an eyebrow at him and he saw Zayn bite his lip. The boy adjusted his glasses and nodded at Liam with a smile. Liam winked then walked out to place their food order with the embarrassed waitress, who ran off hastily when Liam told her to get it done as quickly as possible.

 

 

**

 

 

“Angel. Wake up, we’re back at your dorm.” Zayn blinked open his eyes and rolled his head back to look up at Liam. He was rubbing Zayn’s cheek gently to get him to wake up. Zayn yawned and sat up slowly to look out the window of the car. They had indeed pulled up outside his dorm. It was quite late and first day of classes were tomorrow. But even then, many students were milling about outside. Liam rubbed his back and Zayn leaned into his side again.

 

“I wish I could sleep next to you,” Zayn mumbled.

 

“Come over on the weekend and spend both nights with me,” Liam said and kissed his forehead.

 

“My family wants me to come home, you want me at your place. Life or death decisions.” Zayn yawned sleepily.

 

Liam laughed and kissed his forehead again. “You’re clearly very tired. You should get inside.”

 

“I know.” Zayn sighed and pulled back. He leaned up and pressed a few tired kisses to Liam’s lips then moved back. “I love you. I’m gonna dream about you since I can’t sleep next to you.”

“I should only hope so.” Liam chuckled and kissed the tip of his nose. “Sweet dreams baby. I love you, more than anything.” He pressed a few more kisses to the boy’s lips which made him smile.

 

Zayn eventually pulled back because he knew if he stayed any longer, he wouldn’t want to leave. He pulled the car door open and walked out to go towards his building. A few people were glancing towards him and the car in interest but Zayn ignored them. He couldn’t see Liam through the tinted back windows, but he waved regardless then turned around to enter the building. When he entered his room, he found Harry and Louis settled on Harry’s bed, watching something on his laptop.

 

“Babe!” Harry exclaimed. “I missed you.”

 

“I missed you too Haz.” Zayn smiled tiredly and put his phone and glasses down onto his desk.

 

“Did you have fun?” Louis asked.

 

“Yes,” Zayn answered and pulled some clothes to sleep in out of his drawer.

 

“Well I should probably get to bed as well. I have a class at 9 a.m.” Louis yawned and got up from Harry’s bed.

 

“Goodnight,” Harry said as Louis waved at them and left the room. “How’s Liam?”

“Good,” Zayn replied with a smile. He changed into a t-shirt and sweats then grabbed his toiletries bag. “Wanna come with me to brush our teeth?”

 

“I’ll skip it I’m so tired,” Harry muttered and rolled over in his bed.

 

“No, you won’t. Because that’s nasty,” Zayn chided and grabbed his arm to tug him up.

 

“Ugh. You’re gonna become my second mother, aren’t you?” Harry groaned as they started down the hallway towards the bathrooms.

 

“You should be glad I don’t force you to floss,” Zayn said pointedly.

 

“I don’t know how you have the patience,” Harry mumbled as he dragged his toothbrush tiredly across his teeth.

 

“Well excuse me for caring about oral hygiene and wanting healthy teeth,” Zayn scoffed.

 

Harry gave him a foamy grin in the mirror then turned around and touched his cheek. “Feeling okay about classes tomorrow?”

 

Zayn spat the toothpaste out then shrugged. “A little anxious. But I’m trying not to think about it right now. I’m gonna do my minute by minute method tomorrow morning and try to get to class without freaking out.”

“I could wake up early and walk to campus with you?” Harry offered.

 

“I love you and you’re the sweetest person alive, but I need to do this and just get past the fear on my first day. Then the next ones will be easier,” Zayn said and rinsed his mouth out.

 

Harry rubbed his back in a reassuring manner. When they finished cleaning their teeth and washing their faces, they went back to their room and fell into their respective beds after turning the lights off.

 

“Good luck tomorrow babe. And let’s hope this is a great start to the rest of our lives.” Harry whispered.

 

Zayn turned towards Harry and smiled at him. The streetlight from outside was illuminating his face a fraction and Zayn could see that Harry was smiling as well. Zayn reached his hand across the space between their beds and Harry moved his own forward to grasp Zayn’s. They squeezed each other’s hands and let them remain linked in the middle until they grew tired and fell asleep.

 

**

 

 

In a contrast to his usual bad luck, Zayn’s first day of classes had been going smoothly so far. He had woken up at 6 a.m.to give himself time to shower and mentally prepare himself. He performed his morning prayers and prayed to Allah to give him an easy day. Then he ate a light breakfast from the cafeteria downstairs and set out early to walk to his classes. Thankfully, his classes were close by and not a subway ride away. After a short walk, he had gotten to his early morning biology lecture way before start time. He found himself a good seat, not too close or too far back and settled in. The class had been mostly introductory where the professor ran over the course outline and expectations.

 

He had some time off after that class and went to the bookstore to purchase his books. Then he walked to his next class which was an introduction to psychology course. Arriving a little early once again, Zayn settled into a seat as a few other students also walked in. He pulled put his notebook and placed it on the desk, then turned to his phone to text Harry. He had been so absorbed with exchanging texts with Harry, that he hadn’t noticed someone come sit beside him.

 

“Well if it isn’t bambi eyes.”  
  
Zayn jerked in his seat and looked to the side to see a brunette-haired boy smirking at him. For a few seconds, Zayn was confused as to who it was, then it hit him like a ton of bricks. Just like the slightly nauseating feeling the yacht ride had left him with, the familiarity of that way-too-forward stranger from that night came back as well.

 

“Jason,” Zayn said in confusion. “What- what are you doing here?”

 

“I go to this school too if you don’t remember.” He chuckled and leaned back in his seat to give Zayn the same probing head to toe scan he had used that night.

 

“Yeah but… aren’t you a senior? This is an intro class…” Zayn puzzled.

 

“I’ve fulfilled most of my major requirements so I have a lot of free spaces for elective courses. I thought to myself, what could be an easy time-killer? This class had space and seemed easy so I thought why not,” Jason responded.

 

“Okay,” Zayn replied politely, not sure why the guy was still seeking him out.

 

“You don’t mind, do you?” Jason motioned to their seats.

 

“No not at all,” Zayn answered, his politeness always at the forefront even though he felt uncomfortable by this person’s presence.

 

“Good.” Jason hummed after taking a long sip of his coffee. He looked down in front of Zayn as he turned his MacBook on. “I see you prefer traditional methods to learning?” Jason nodded to Zayn’s notebook.

 

“Studies show that students retain information in their brain more efficiently if they take notes by hand rather than typing them,” Zayn stated. He fiddled with his ballpoint pen, clicking it on and off, instead of meeting Jason’s gaze.

 

Jason looked at him for a few seconds then smiled. “Intelligent _and_ cute,” he murmured.

 

Zayn felt something uncomfortable prickle under his skin and he turned back to his phone to fiddle uselessly with it, in hopes that Jason would think he was busy and not bother him anymore.

 

“What are you doing tonight?” Jason asked him. Zayn turned to him to see Jason watching him thoughtfully as he ran a hand through his messy hair.

 

“Uhh… not much. Why?” Zayn asked slowly.

 

“My frat is throwing a party. People are rushing and we have so many pledges that the first week is mostly just parties. You should come, even if you don’t want to join. You’ll have fun.” Jason was looking at him so intently, as if he would do anything to convince him.

 

“I don’t…” Zayn began.

 

Jason pulled Zayn’s notebook over and flipped it open to the first page. He scribbled ten digits down in large writing then put his name under it. He pushed it back over and smiled at Zayn.

 

“Whether you want to text me about coming over tonight or just need some advice about navigating NYU or what clubs to join etc etc. Hit me up okay?” He touched his hand to Zayn’s arm where the Cartier bracelet sat and tapped the edge of it once. Zayn slowly drew his hand back and nodded silently.

 

The professor entered the class at that point so Zayn turned his attention to the front of the room. He was glad there wasn’t any more of a chance for Jason to continue talking, because Zayn didn’t know how else to keep replying to his forwardness. He was going to have to see him in class for the next few months now and it wasn’t like he could directly avoid him. The only possibility was to politely turn down whatever requests he kept making and just hope he took the hint.

 

When class ended, Zayn quickly shoved his things into his bag as Jason talked to the girl on the other side of him. Zayn discreetly exited the lecture hall and walked away before Jason could possibly stop him to say anything else. Harry had texted him about meeting at some café close by as both of their classes finished around the same time, so he started walking that way. As he came up to the quaint café, he spotted Harry who was stood outside chatting with two other girls. Zayn smile and crept up behind Harry, who hadn’t noticed him, and wrapped his arms around him from behind.

 

“Hazzle pants!” Zayn squeezed him and kissed his cheek. Harry jumped a little, but when he saw that it was Zayn, he smiled widely and turned to pull him into a massive hug.

 

“Boo bear!” Harry squealed and squeezed him breathless as he kissed his cheeks. The two girls with Harry were giving them amused looks. “This is my best friend Zayn, and Zay this is Holly and Michelle. They’re in my Econ class.”

 

“Hi.” Zayn gave them a smile as they greeted him as well.

 

“I’ll see you guys next class yeah?” Harry said to the girls. After they said their goodbyes, Zayn and Harry walked into the café called White Waters Café. It had a warm environment inside, with dim lighting and dark oak walls and tables. The booths had dark seats as well and it seemed like a nice quiet place to study. A few students were scattered around with food and their books open in front of them. Zayn and Harry ordered some food and took it to a booth in the back.

 

“I invited Louis as well. He’ll be here in a few minutes,” Harry announced.

 

“Oh… okay,” Zayn said and picked at his sandwich.

 

“Do you not like Louis, babe?” Harry gave him a confused look.

 

“What? No of course not. He’s a really nice guy, funny too. I just get awkward around him because of the whole Liam thing. I’ve created this lie and now I have to continue to add to it. It’s a mess.” Zayn groaned and rubbed his head.

 

Harry snorted with laughter and squeezed his hand. “You could just tell him before it gets too messed up. He probably won’t be mad that you lied.”

“I know but-“

 

“What’s up guys?” Louis dropped down into the seat beside Zayn.

 

“Not much.” Harry gave Louis a charming smile. “How’d your classes go?”

 

“Pretty good. One thing about liberal studies is that you can take a variety of courses and not have to declare a major till junior year. Which is good for me because other than football I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing.” Louis laughed.  

 

“What classes do you have left for today?” Harry asked.

 

“None,” Louis said with a relieved sigh.

 

“Me too. Zay?” Harry asked.

 

“I have a biology lab in an hour.” Zayn sighed and rubbed his temples because he was only halfway through the day and already tired.

 

“Yikes. I don’t know how you can handle the sciences man. You must have killer patience and a brain more capable than mine.” Louis rubbed Zayn’s back sympathetically. He got up to go order some food, leaving Zayn and Harry to talk about how their professors had been. When Louis returned, he was balancing his food and some papers in the other hand.

 

“So apparently, they’re hiring here. They have about four positions open and don’t really care how much experience the person has. I really need to get a job and this is quite convenient too. You guys want to apply with me?” Louis bit into his muffin and looked at both of them with hope.

 

“No way. I despise working in cafes after I spent the better half of my teenage years working shifts at my family’s café in Brooklyn. Plus, I have the YouTube stuff so I can’t take on another job,” Harry said apologetically.

 

“Zayn?” Louis looked at him for an answer.

 

“Well… I do need a part-time job because I don’t want to keep burdening my parents with my small needs.” Zayn chewed on his lip thoughtfully as he looked around at the café. It wasn’t some high traffic place like Starbucks or fast food restaurants. It was just a tiny café tucked away in the quieter side of campus. There weren’t that many customers and it looked like a pretty comfortable environment. And if Louis was applying too, at least there would be a familiar face and he’d have less anxiety about being with strangers.

 

“Do it with me. Come on. It’ll be fun.” Louis grabbed his hands and pleaded with him.

 

Zayn sighed, knowing he wouldn’t really find any better options, or less stressful ones. “Okay. Why not.”

 

“Awesome!” Louis pushed an application his way and started filling out his own. Zayn looked up at Harry and the boy gave him an encouraging smile. Zayn took a deep breath, deciding to take the plunge, and started to fill his own application out too.

 

 

**

 

 

“I have no idea how they gave us the jobs so quickly. They must really need the help.”

 

They were eating dinner in the cafeteria of their dorm hall later that night. Zayn was pushing his salad around his plate in shock because he still didn’t know what to make of this new job. When he and Louis had turned in their applications earlier that day, the manager had offered to interview them on the spot. Zayn had almost fallen into a panic attack but the woman had given him a kind smile and told him it would be very relaxed. He had stuttered during some of his answers, but when they both finished, she offered them the jobs saying that they needed to hire people right away. They were also informed that they could come in for training in two days. The first day of classes wasn’t even over and it was already so intense.

 

“She said they really needed to expand the staff so I guess that’s why,” Zayn said, feeling his stomach twist a little.

 

“You’ll be fine babe. Don’t worry.” Harry squeezed his hand comfortingly.

 

Zayn’s phone started ringing and he saw ‘Maa’ written across the screen which instantly made him smile and feel warm inside. “It’s my mom, I’ll be right back.”

 

Zayn left the cafeteria and found an empty corridor as he answered his phone. “Asalamualaikum Maa,” Zayn answered.

 

“Walaikumasalam meri jaan,” Tricia replied in a loving tone. “How’s your first day been?”

 

“Crazy. Classes were as intense as expected and I even got a job at a café,” Zayn gushed.

 

“Job? Zayn, are you sure you can handle the stress of a job while you’re in such a demanding program?” Tricia sounded slightly concerned.

 

“Don’t worry Maa. I’ll be fine. I wanted the job so I could take care of my day-to-day needs without burdening you guys. The scholarship only covers my tuition and living costs,” Zayn explained.

 

“Oh sweetheart you have to stop worrying about things. You are _not_ burdening us. How could you think that?” Tricia asked in a soft voice.

 

“I didn’t mean it like that Maa. I’m sorry. I just want to start becoming more independent. And I think this will be good for me. I could deal with my social anxiety as well and gain some more confidence,” Zayn told her.

 

“If you think you’ll be fine jaan. But don’t take on the stress just because you think you’re causing us any trouble. Because you’re not,” Tricia said firmly.

 

“I know Maa,” Zayn answered.

 

“Then I hope it goes well for you. And that Allah gives you success not only in your studies but your work as well,” Tricia said.

 

Zayn laughed and said, “thanks Maa. I love you.”

 

“Love you too. Now Safaa has been driving me insane all day, wanting to talk to you. So please put her at rest now.” Tricia laughed and Zayn heard Safaa’s whine in the back.

 

“I’d expect no less from her. Give her the phone.” Zayn chuckled as Safaa came yelling excitedly onto the phone, wanting to tell Zayn about how she’d come first in the swimming competition.

 

 

**

 

 

When Zayn walked back into his room, yawning, he found Harry in just a towel, moisturizing his legs. “Is this one of the things I’m going to walk in on from now on?” Zayn laughed teasingly.

 

“You mean hydrating my body like an intelligent person? Yeah.” Harry threw his body cream tube at Zayn who caught it and laughed.

 

“Something got delivered for you,” Harry said with a barely contained grin as he pointed to Zayn’s bed.

 

Zayn turned towards his bed in confusion and saw an arrangement of red roses and a wrapped box sat on his bed. He smiled and felt his cheeks heat up as he already knew who this would be from. He walked up to his bed and picked up the roses to inhale their sweet smell. When he opened the box, he saw the macarons he loved so much in all his favourite flavours. A card that accompanied the box read:

 

_‘Hope your first day went well Angel. I’m so proud of you. I love you more than anything in this world moon of my life. xx_

_-Liam.’_

“I think my depression about being single drops five more levels whenever Liam pulls shit like this,” Harry lamented. He grabbed the box of macarons from Zayn and pulled out three at once. Zayn smacked him lightly but continued to smile at the note as he inhaled the scent of the roses again.

 

Zayn pulled out his phone and called Liam, his smile threatening to break his face. Liam picked up after a few rings and Zayn was greeted with a lot of noise in the background.

 

“Hey, baby, can I call you back in a few? I’m at a dinner meeting,” Liam apologized.

 

“Oh, I’m so sorry. Of course. It was nothing important anyways. I just wanted to thank you for the flowers and macarons and tell you I love you,” Zayn said softly.

 

“I love you too angel. I love you so much. I’ll call you back in an hour if you’re not asleep yet and I want to hear about your day okay?” Liam replied.

 

“I’ll be awake,” Zayn said with a smile.

 

“Good. Call you soon then yeah? Love you baby,” Liam said with a smile in his voice.

 

“Love you too.” Zayn shut the phone and fell back against his bed with a sigh.

 

“You’re so in love it’s nauseating. Cute, but nauseating,” Harry announced from where he was busy putting up his remaining posters.

 

“Why is your Fifth Harmony poster cut off from the side?” Zayn asked as he rolled over.

 

“This is an older poster that I cut Camila out of after her annoying ass left the band. I still have to purchase a new one,” Harry replied as he tried to straighten the poster out.

 

Zayn snorted with laughter and walked over to his backpack to pull out his notebook. He started reviewing his notes from his first day of classes, and reading the next chapter in his biology textbook.

 

“Zay this is the first day of classes, why are you studying already? Honestly, if all you’re going to do is study all the time, when we’re supposed to be having fun as freshmen, I’m going to disown you,” Harry warned.

 

“Well get used to it,” Zayn replied as he pulled open his notebook. He saw Jason’s number on the first page and the same uneasy feeling from before rippled through his body.

 

“Who’s Jason Pierce?” Harry asked as he hovered over Zayn.

 

“Remember that sketchy guy from Liam’s parents yacht party that I told you about? Him. He’s in my psych class apparently. And he’s the president of the Delta Lambda something frat and wanted me to come to his party,” Zayn muttered.

 

“I think he has a crush on you,” Harry said with a raised brow.

 

“No. Of course not. Why would he… he’s just… I dunno… he does look at me in this x-ray vision kind of way but I dunno… he’s way too forward though. And whenever he says ‘bambi eyes’ my skin crawls because that nickname is Liam’s.” Zayn sighed and flipped the page to turn away from Jason’s number.

 

“He seems interested. Maybe just give him a hint that you’re not interested and are dating someone else?” Harry offered.

 

“I did! I told him that I’m dating Liam on the yacht. He doesn’t seem to care. I just- whatever. Forget about it. I’ll just try avoiding him,” Zayn resolved.

 

“If he gets too much, don’t just ignore it like the polite kid you are. Tell me. Or tell Liam. Some guys really can’t take a hint,” Harry said sternly.

 

“Okay Baba,” Zayn laughed.

 

“Damn straight. If you’re taking up my mom’s position for me, I’m taking up Yaser’s position for you.” Harry grabbed Zayn in a bear-hug and practically strangled him as he kissed him and hugged him fiercely.

 

 

**

 

 

“And we sing a lot of fusion desi meets western songs as well.”

Zayn was shedding his lab coat after his chemistry lab, on the second day of classes, had just finished. Earlier, he had arrived to his lab class only to be waved over to a lab station in the back of the room by Shalini, the girl who was roommates with Louis’ friend. They needed to pair up with someone who would become their lab partner for the rest of the semester and Zayn was glad to have Shalini. She was nice, funny and intelligent. She had told Zayn about how she was part of a band that created desi-western fusion songs. They had performed all over town and were now pairing up with the Asian Students Society to perform at an upcoming event.

 

“That sounds pretty cool.” Zayn smiled at her.

 

Shalini pulled her purple streaked black hair up into a bun and took her glasses off. She smiled and offered her phone so Zayn could punch his number in. “We’re going to perform a set of old Bollywood meets rock songs. It’s going to be awesome. You should come.”

 

“Do you sing the Hindi or Urdu parts yourself?” Zayn asked.

 

“Yeah I’m lead female singer and my bandmate Arush is male vocals although he prefers staying on bass.” She rolled her eyes, although she was grinning.

 

“Okay. I’ll try my best to come out.” Zayn smiled at her as he shouldered his backpack.

 

“Please do. I have to run to my next class now, but I’ll see you soon.” Zayn nodded and smiled as she said goodbye and rushed out of the lab amongst the crowd of students.

 

Zayn was done for the day and had one important destination in mind. So he rushed towards the street and hailed a cab. He told the cab driver the address and settled back with a smile as they pulled into traffic.

 

 

**

 

 

It felt like it had been an eternity since he had stepped into this familiar elevator, with its mirrored walls and generic classical music playing overheard. Zayn stepped into a corner as more people poured in. He pressed the button for the 50th floor and waited as the elevator began its ascent. He was the only one left remaining as it reached the last floor and opened. Zayn walked out into the familiar white marbled space and crossed around to the lobby area where the reception desk was. Rosie was on the phone but when she saw him she grinned in surprise and waved at him. Lesley looked up and shot him a smile too.

 

“Zayn, how are you?” Lesley asked.

 

“Hi Lesley. I’m good. You?” Zayn set down cardboard coffee cups in front of them both.

 

“You’re such a darling.” Lesley gave him an appreciative smile and sipped at the coffee. “College going well?”

 

“Surprisingly well. Is Liam around?” Zayn asked.

 

Lesley laughed gently and nodded. “He’s having a meeting at RED but he should be up shortly.”

 

“Thanks. Can I wait inside his office?” Zayn questioned.

 

“Sure, just go on in.” She nodded towards the office.

 

“Don’t tell him I’m here. I want to surprise him,” Zayn said and felt his cheeks flush. Lesley smiled knowingly and nodded her head as the phone rang and she had to pick it up.

 

Zayn pushed past the heavy doors of Liam’s office and made his way inside. He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge Liam had behind the mini-bar. Then he settled down in one of the chairs opposite Liam’s massive wooden desk and pulled out his textbook as he waited. He had finished reading an entire, extremely boring, chapter in his organic chemistry textbook when he heard the doors to the office open and the deep voice he loved so much flooded in.

 

“… Taylor wants to give the contract to local Vegas contractors, Mitchells wants to bring in Swedish contractors and I honestly- excuse me?”

 

Zayn turned around sheepishly and saw Liam paused with a confused look on his face, his phone to his ear. When he saw Zayn, his confusion morphed into surprise and then complete happiness. “Are you free for a small lunch meeting Mr. Payne?” Zayn asked with a smile.

 

“I’ll call you back Jenny,” Liam said with a small laugh and shut his phone. “You. You sneaky, beautiful, much-needed distraction, wonderful person. Come here.”

 

Zayn grinned and hopped out of his seat as Liam came up to him. He jumped into Liam’s arms and threw his arms around his neck. Liam swayed him side to side as he wrapped his stronger arms around Zayn’s slighter form and hugged him tightly.

 

“Am I a welcome distraction though?” Zayn mumbled into Liam’s neck and inhaled the comforting scent of his cologne.

 

“Oh my love you have no idea,” Liam murmured and rained kisses all over his face. Zayn scrunched his nose and smiled as Liam’s lips brushed all over his face.

 

“I figured with all the stress you’ve been dealing with, you could use the small break.” Zayn shrugged as Liam set him down with one last kiss on his lips.

 

“Zayn breaks are integrated into my calendar to be carried out whenever and wherever. You can come distract me any time you like.” Liam smiled and pressed another kiss to his lips.

 

Zayn grinned and settled back into his seat as Liam went around the desk to his own seat and opened the lid of his MacBook.

 

“Well I should hope so since I am the love of your life and all that jazz,” Zayn said between giggles.

 

“Oh really? Damn, I thought I was just your Upper East Side sugar daddy,” Liam joked and waggled his eyebrows at Zayn.

 

“Well that too.” Zayn laughed. “But I can be my own sugar daddy as well now with my new job.”

 

“Baby you know if you need the money I can give it you. You can just focus on your studies and not stress about that stuff. It makes no difference to me and I don’t want you stressed or anxious,” Liam offered gently.

 

“Thanks, jaan. But I can’t do that. I want to be independent and not have to rely on others. I’m the kind of person who feels bad taking money from my parents and I couldn’t do that with you,” Zayn admitted.

 

“Of course love. But the offer will always stand.” Liam smiled at him and reached across the desk to take his hand and kiss it. “Now I have just a few things to do before we can leave for lunch. That okay?”

 

“Sure. I have a few pages left.” Zayn raised his massive textbook and Liam raised his eyebrows.

 

“That’s about five bibles combined. Looking at it is stressing me out,” Liam joked.

 

“Haha.” Zayn gave him a tiny glare which made Liam smile fondly. The door knocked and when Liam called for the person to come in, Rosie entered.

 

“Mr. Payne these contracts need to be signed,” she said and walked over to the desk. Liam nodded and held his hand out for the papers. Rosie waited beside the desk as Liam started signing the multiple places his signature was needed.

 

Zayn opened his backpack to pull out a highlighter and he spotted something that made him smile. “Jaan, remember when you were reading that book last week and folded the page down like some sort of barbarian?” Zayn said with a grin.

 

Liam snorted with laughter and nodded his head in memory of the day. “And you lectured me about using bookmarks?” Liam smirked at him and Zayn huffed.

 

“Well I got you something I saw at the bookstore.” Zayn pulled out the bookmark he had bought for Liam and handed it over to him.

 

Liam paused in the middle of signing the contract and looked at the bookmark. He laughed when he saw it and looked up at Zayn. “Sexiest man of the year?”

 

“Well it’s true.” Zayn blushed a little but shrugged his shoulders as Liam laughed. Zayn looked at Rosie who was trying hard not to laugh as well.

 

“Baby you’re literally the cutest person alive did you know that?” Liam said with a fond chuckle.

 

“Well I have been hearing it a lot lately but I’m not too sure.” Zayn smiled and stared down at the molecular diagrams in his textbook. 

 

“Well it’s true. Isn’t he the absolute cutest Rosie?” Liam asked teasingly.

 

“No doubt about it,” Rosie answered with a laugh.

 

“Don’t involve other people in your flattery Mr. Payne.” Zayn pointed his pencil accusingly at Liam and gave him a tiny glare.

 

“Even your angry faces are absolutely adorable. There’s not a single second of the day when you’re not the cutest person in the room or on the planet,” Liam said and gave him a tiny wink.

 

“Liar,” Zayn mumbled and started flipping through his book.

 

“Oh you don’t believe me? Maybe I should also talk about the moments when you look _especially_ cute. Like-“

 

Zayn got up and hurried around the desk to drop into Liam’s lap and cover his mouth. “Nothing. There’s nothing. Don’t listen to him Rosie.”

 

Liam’s eyes sparkled as he grinned behind Zayn’s hand. He took a hold of his wrist and kissed his palm before removing it. He gently cupped Zayn’s face and kissed his nose. “The cutest.”

 

Zayn flushed and dropped his head to Liam’s shoulder to rest it there as the man finished signing the papers. When he was done, he handed them back to Rosie who thanked him and left the room. When the doors closed, Zayn lifted his face up and saw that Liam was already looking down at him adoringly.

 

“You’re so silly,” Zayn whispered and tilted his face up for a kiss. Liam smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. Then he moved back a fraction and rubbed his thumb over Zayn’s lips before pecking them lightly a few more times. Zayn closed his eyes as Liam traced the planes of his face with his thumb and brushed the softest kisses over the same spots.

 

“I love you so much,” Liam whispered and kissed his forehead.

 

“I love you too,” Zayn replied softly. He ran his finger lightly over the ‘Zayn’ tattoo on the inside of Liam’s wrist and smiled as butterflies fluttered in his stomach. Liam watched the movement then tapped Zayn on the nose and whispered, ‘my angel’ as he kissed him.

 

“Was your day good?” Liam asked as he pulled closer to his desk and started typing on his laptop. Zayn continued to lay across his lap and he curled his head close to Liam’s chest tiredly.

 

“Very tiring. My chem lab was really long and I realized just how difficult it was going to be. And I had a physiology lecture in the morning where my professor jumped right into the first lesson after the introduction. Brutal,” Zayn mumbled and ran his fingers along Liam’s black tie.

 

“If there’s anyone who can handle all that it’s you. You’re very intelligent Zayn and I believe in you.” Liam rubbed his thigh in encouragement. “Just remember to take it easy and not compromise your health.”

“I know. Do you want to know what else happened?” Zayn asked with barely contained excitement.

 

“Mhm?” Liam asked, as he continued typing on his laptop.

 

“I had an idea for what you can give me as a birthday present when it comes around.” Zayn gave Liam a smile and the man grinned back at him.

 

“Priorities.” Liam chuckled.

 

“Don’t be mean. It only happened because my new lab partner, Shalini, she showed me a picture of her cat. She had to leave her back with her parents but she is so cute Li. And it made me realize how much I want a cat. So, I was thinking that on my birthday you should get me a cat. But you would have to keep it at your place because I can’t have pets at the dorm and Safaa is allergic so I can’t leave it at home.” Zayn finished off and gave Liam an innocent look hoping he had sold himself well.

 

Liam stared at him incredulously for a second then laughed. “You want me to get you a cat but technically I would be taking care of it?”

 

“Yes.” Zayn leaned up and pecked Liam’s lips. “I mean sort of. I would come over and visit. Just until I eventually move out of the dorm and then I can take it in. It would be like our pet… you… that would be okay, right?”

 

“Baby I have no issue with us getting a cat together. But I’m barely ever home and you would be busy with classes. It would be really neglected. I don’t think it’s a smart idea.” Liam tried to reason with him.

 

“But Li, having a cat would be great. Your life will be so much more better. Imagine having something fluffy to cuddle with,” Zayn said and touched Liam’s face.

 

“Baby. No.” Liam laughed and kissed Zayn’s cheek. “Maybe one day when we move in together it will make more sense. But right now doesn’t seem logical. I’m sorry.”

 

“Leeyum… please...” Zayn whined and threw his head back. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and showed Liam a picture of a small kitten. “Just look at that. How cute is that.”

 

“Very cute. And its cuteness is muddling the logical side of your brain. Baby, the cat would be super lonely at my place because we’re both too busy to constantly be there,” Liam said.

 

“Cats like to be lonely.” Zayn pouted dejectedly.

 

Liam smiled affectionately and stroked his chin. “I’m sorry angel,” he said as the door opened and Ameera walked in with a smile.

 

“I was told Zaynie was here. How are you sweetheart?” Ameera asked as she deposited a file in front of Liam and ruffled Zayn’s hair.

 

“Awful.” Zayn sighed sadly. “Liam doesn’t want to get us a cat.”

 

“Because Liam is a jerk,” Ameera said in sympathy.

 

“Wow.” Liam rolled his eyes at her. “I only said it doesn’t seem logical right now. The cat would be lonely at my place because I’m barely ever home and Zayn can’t have it at his dorm.”

 

“I would come over a lot,” Zayn offered.

 

“I’ll think about it baby.” Liam kissed his forehead.

 

“That means no,” Ameera whispered dramatically.

 

“You-” Liam pointed at Ameera, “-get out.”

 

Ameera laughed and smacked Liam’s head with a file. “Are you going for lunch?”

 

“Yeah. I’ll be back in about two hours, in time for my appointment with Ivan.” Liam shut off his laptop and Zayn climbed off his lap to grab his stuff. Liam took his tie off and grabbed his phone and wallet.

 

“I’ll see you Zaynie.” Ameera hugged him as he shouldered his backpack.

 

“See you Baji,” Zayn teased her and she smacked his head.

 

“Do not call me that,” she warned then kissed his cheek. “Bye sweetheart.”

 

“Bye.” Zayn gave her a kiss as well before Liam took his hand and they walked out of the office.

 

“Sushi?” Liam asked.

 

“No,” Zayn said as Liam pulled him in with an arm around his waist. “Bye Rosie! Bye Lesley!” He called out.

 

“Bye Zee,” Rosie replied.

 

“Bye darling,” Lesley said with a wave.

 

“Italian?” Liam asked as they got to the elevator. He wrapped his arms around Zayn from behind and kissed the top of his head.

 

“Nope.” Zayn said.

 

Liam tilted Zayn’s face up and tapped his nose. “Indian?”

“No,” Zayn said as they walked into the elevator.

 

“Hmm, let me guess. Cheeseburgers and milkshakes from Cora’s Café?” Liam asked with a knowing smile.

 

“You know me so well!” Zayn exclaimed and jumped onto Liam who caught him easily.

 

“I have to know you well, I’m your man,” Liam murmured. He pressed Zayn against the elevator wall and kissed him.

 

“My man,” Zayn whispered and kissed him back. “My man who knows me so well and should get me a cat.”

 

Liam, who was in the middle of kissing Zayn’s neck, started laughing and dropped his head on Zayn’s shoulder.

 

“Unbelievable.” Liam chuckled and kissed him again.

 

 

**

 

 

“And then you want to sprinkle the chocolate sprinkles over the latte. In a careful pattern.”

Zayn held the jar in concentration and sprinkled a small helping of chocolate sprinkles over his latte. He, Louis and a third trainee named Alexa stood side by side as a barista named Gina trained them on how to make the drinks.

 

“Gee, did not know throwing some sprinkles on a latte needed serious training,” Louis whispered to Zayn. Zayn giggled a little and shushed Louis as Gina looked over at them.

 

“Now that we’ve covered the drinks. I want to show you guys how to work the till outside. We have a pretty innovative system and the till is pretty easy to handle. You just need to get used to it. But let’s go have a look.” Gina led them outside to the front where the tills were. The place wasn’t too busy, so there were no people waiting to order food at the moment. She motioned Zayn forward to the screen to start explaining the system.

 

“Like I said, it’s pretty simple. Everything is written on the screen and all you have to do is tap whatever you need. Some things like extra caramel drizzle for example, or extra shots of espresso, you would have to go the second screen and punch them in after the drink.” As Gina led them through a few basics, Zayn heard the door open and when he looked up, his heart raced, and not in the good way, because Jason entered with two other guys.

 

“Oh no,” Zayn whispered which prompted Louis to give him a funny look.

 

“Do you know them? They’re from the Delta Lambda Phi fraternity,” Louis said.

 

“The brown haired one with the tattoos on his arms. He’s in my class and he kind of… yeah I dunno… I guess I know him,” Zayn whispered. He tried to sneak out of view but Jason had reached the counter and spotted him

 

“Zayn.” Jason grinned and leaned forward on the counter. He turned his snapback around and took in Zayn’s apron. “You work here?”

 

“Training,” Zayn answered.

 

“Nice. Well let’s test your skills. Can I get a medium sized mocha latte?” He said all this while slowly dragging his eyes over Zayn and giving him a lazy smirk at the end.

 

“Uh…” Zayn looked at Gina who nodded towards the till. Zayn entered Jason’s order then looked up at the other two guys with him.

 

“A-anything else?” Zayn asked, feeling anxious suddenly. He felt a comforting hand on his arm and looked over to see Louis giving him a reassuring smile. Zayn gave him a small smile in return.

 

“Large coffee black, and one of your blueberry muffins,” said the guy in the Delta Lambda hoodie. He gave Jason a private smirk after he looked at Zayn.

 

“And you sir?” Zayn asked the third guy.

 

“Large iced coffee,” he answered.

 

Zayn nodded and tried to enter everything efficiently, even though his hand was suddenly trembling. Gina and Alexa were on the side preparing drinks and Louis was grabbing the food. Zayn was left alone as he took Jason’s money from him. Jason handed over a twenty-dollar bill and as Zayn took it from him, he grabbed Zayn’s hand.

 

“Thanks, bambi eyes,” Jason murmured. “Keep the change.” He winked as he let go of Zayn’s hand and moved to the side to grab his drink from Alexa.

 

Seeing that he wasn’t needed anymore, Zayn quickly hurried to the back kitchen and slumped against the wall to take a few deep breaths. He felt so anxious right now. And sick. Why did he feel sick? He had an uneasy feeling about Jason and it just wasn’t going away. His mom always said he had a good sixth sense and maybe that was it. He definitely wasn’t used to guys being so forward with him. There had been a total of four people who had ever hit on him. He had preferred being invisible, that is until Liam came along with his charm and flirtation to win over his heart. And that was it. No one else and nothing else compared after that or was welcome. Especially not this Jason person.

 

“Zayn?” Louis walked in with a concerned look and came over to him. “You okay?”

 

“I’m fine,” Zayn said as he hid his shaking hands behind his back.

 

“Who is that guy? He’s pretty cute and he was looking at you really intensely.” Louis was smiling at first but seeing Zayn’s troubled face he quickly became worried.

 

“What’s wrong?” Louis rubbed Zayn’s arms and searched his face for some answers.

 

“His name is Jason Pierce. And I don’t know what he wants Louis. Whenever he sees me he flirts and stares at me, and crosses boundaries. I told him I have a boyfriend but he still doesn’t get the hint. I don’t know what to do,” Zayn stammered.

 

“You should tell him to fuck off straight to his face if he can’t take a hint,” Louis said with a furrowed brow. “Want me to have a talk with him?”

“No! Please! I really don’t like confrontation and maybe I’m reading too much into it. I get worked up really easily. Just- let’s just ignore it.” Zayn looked at Louis with pleading eyes.

 

“Okay. But if he bothers you again, come tell me. I’ll fuck him up,” Louis said seriously.

 

Zayn laughed lightly. “He’s bigger than you. You shouldn’t take that risk.”

 

“You have no idea what I’m capable of. I’ve had fights with assholes twice my size back in New Jersey and sent them running to their mothers. I’ll fuck this bitch up if he keeps bothering you,” Louis assured him.

 

“Thanks Louis. You’re a good friend.” Zayn smiled and squeezed his hand.

 

“I’m pretty loyal and you’ll get to know that as time goes on Zayn. I’m always there for people I care about. And I do care about you. You’re probably one of the nicest humans I have ever come across,” Louis said. He wrapped his arms around Zayn and pulled him into a hug. “And you’re a total nerd for Game of Thrones like me which is a plus.”

 

“Thanks.” Zayn gave a laugh and hugged Louis back.

 

“Boys I need you out front. Maybe share the love when your shift is over.” Gina poked her head in and gave them both a look.

 

“Sorry. Coming,” Louis said quickly as Zayn started laughing. “Now c’mon, before we get fired.”

 

 

**

 

 

“Miami. 2012.”

 

 “Fuck off Niall,” Liam said with a groan.

 

“What? You said nothing was more embarrassing than spring break of sophomore year when our boat broke down in the middle of the water. Miami in 2012 was worse bro. You got pulled over for speeding _while_ getting head. Now _that_ is your most embarrassing moment.” Niall cackled.

 

Liam laughed with a shake of his head and raised his glass to Niall in a mock salute who clinked his own with it.

 

“Ni you got arrested for public urination, didn’t you?” Tom asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Shut the fuck up Tom. And how do you know about that?” Niall asked.

 

“Liam.” Tom smirked and nodded in Liam’s direction.

 

Liam shrugged and gave Niall a grin as he gave him a deathly glare. They were at Red having drinks at the bar on the main level. After work, they had all come out here to get drinks and relax after long meetings at work about the Vegas deal. Niall had already been working on it with Liam and Tom being a part of Liam’s legal team had been with them today as they hassled over some legal dealings about the new casino. Liam’s head had been pounding all evening as they sat through an exhausting meeting. This deal was everything he had been thinking about for most of the year and it was taking a massive toll on him. But he didn’t mind because when it came together it would be amazing. It would be one of his biggest accomplishments yet.

 

“Where’s Mig?” Niall asked with a glance at his watch. “He was supposed to join us right after work but he isn’t here yet.”

 

“Brokers,” Tom snorted and looked towards the side of the bar where a few women were looking their way.

 

“Fucking hell,” Niall muttered. “Liam.” Niall nodded his head towards the far end of the bar. At first Liam wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be looking for, but then he saw Max Freeman sitting with two other guys.

 

“What the fuck is he doing in my club?” Liam felt anger boiling inside him as he recalled the last time he had seen Max and the ugly threats he had barked.

 

“Li. Don’t.” Tom grabbed his arm in a warning.

 

“I won’t do anything, even though he is in my club. As long as he doesn’t come up to me,” Liam said and threw back the rest of his drink.  

 

Despite the patience Liam resolved to keep, it didn’t matter because Max looked over and spotted him. Something dark and ugly crossed over his face and he shot out of his seat and came over to Liam in a few quick strides.

 

“I’ve been looking for you Payne,” he spat angrily as he stopped in front of Liam.

 

“Freeman. Your nose looks good. Need another readjustment.” Liam raised an eyebrow.

 

“Fuck you. I could break your smug face right here. What the fuck have you been saying to Emilia?” Max raged.

 

“Max you should back away because this won’t end well for you,” Niall warned.

 

“Fuck off Horan,” Max growled. “Emilia left me. And before she did, she said some bullshit like, ‘Liam told me you would be like this and I should have listened to him. He was right all along.’ What-the-fuck-did-you-say-to-her?” Max practically screamed and pushed Liam back against the bar.

 

Liam lost his cool then and pushed Max away with more force. “Did you fucking hit her?!” Liam grabbed the front of Max’s jacket. “Did you hit her you cowardly son of a bitch?!”

 

“That is none of your fucking business. She was the love of my life. And after one small fight, she screamed some nonsense about you being right all along and left me. Because of _you!_ ” Max was screaming so loudly that people around the bar were staring at them.

 

“That’s what she should have done a long time ago. And just like with Vanessa, this has nothing to do with me. It’s your sick behaviour you bastard. I’m glad Emilia left you, she deserves better than you. You’re a disgusting excuse for a human.” Liam shoved Max back harshly so the man stumbled away. He had an ugly sneer on his face and came forward as if to punch Liam, but he was grabbed from behind by one of the guys he had been with.

 

“You’re going to regret this Max. Walk away,” the guy said to him.

 

“Listen to your friend Freeman and walk the fuck out of my club. Because I will break your face if you take one more step,” Liam warned him with a harsh glare.

 

“You’ve done it again and taken the one thing I care about in my life. And Emilia was all that mattered to me. More than that Vegas deal or anything else. And you took her away. Watch your fucking back Payne. You’re going to know what it feels like to have the thing you hold most dear taken away from you as well,” Max bellowed and gave him a cold, nasty smile.

 

“Try. I dare you.” Liam stepped forward threateningly.

 

Max gave an empty laugh. “You gave Emilia some warning which made her leave me. I’d like to give you a warning. Watch out. And watch out for that pretty boy you love so much. Zayn was it?“

 

“Hey!” Niall pushed Max back before Liam could grab him. “Talk whatever shit you want but keep Zayn’s name out of your filthy mouth. If you come anywhere near Zayn, not only will Liam rip you limb from limb but I will gladly help him bury you.”

 

“I told you what would happen if you said Zayn’s name ever again Max.” Liam felt a roaring rage burning inside him. He hadn’t felt this much anger since the night of the yacht party and it was reminiscent of his days of badly controlled rage from college.

 

“Get your friend out of here man. And don’t ever come back.” Tom said to Max’s friend. The guy looked a little scared and he tugged on Max’s arm to pull him back.

 

“Max. Let’s go,” he said in a firm tone.

 

“I’m not playing this time,” Max warned. He gave Liam one last deathly glare before he turned around and walked into the crowd to go towards the exit.

 

“I should have ripped him apart right here, right now,” Liam snarled.

 

“Li. Look at me.” Niall grabbed his face and forced him to look into his eyes. “He can’t hurt Zayn. We won’t let him. I’d personally kill him if he ever tried.”

 

“He’s capable of ugly shit Niall. He’s done vile things. I won’t spare him if he even breathes in Zayn’s direction.” Liam grabbed his drink and tossed it back in one swallow.

 

“Don’t let him get to you bro. Just breathe.” Tom squeezed his shoulder to try to get him to calm down.

 

Liam rubbed a hand over his face and took a deep breath. The bartender set down another drink in front of him which he tossed back quickly. “Niall, when you have a chance, tell security to look through the CCTV footage and add Max’s face and name to the blacklist. I should have done that a while ago.”

 

“What happened?” Liam looked back to see Miguel walking up to them with a confused look.

 

“Max Freeman,” Niall explained.

 

“That fucker was here?” Miguel asked with an annoyed look.

 

“Making threats,” Tom said.

 

“About?” Miguel asked cautiously.

 

“Liam and Zayn. His fiancé left him,” Niall added.

 

“The fuck? And what does that have to do with Liam?” Miguel asked angrily. “Or Zayn? He needs to be put in his place.”

“He will be,” Liam muttered.

 

“Li…” Niall started.

 

“Don’t worry Niall. I’m not doing anything tonight. I’m gonna go home though.” Liam moved away from the bar and pulled his phone out to call Patrick.

 

“Just try to cool down okay?” Niall said and pulled him into a hug.

 

“Yeah. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Liam walked towards the entrance as he asked Patrick to come back to pick him up. Patrick said he would take five minutes as he was nearby. Liam took an exit to the back entrance and lit up a cigarette. He took a long drag to try and settle his rattling anger. Max was like an annoying wasp that wouldn’t die no matter how many times you smacked it with a rolled-up newspaper. His nuisance had transformed into dangerous threats and Liam knew he would have to do something. Max was borderline sociopathic and he usually carried out the bullshit he talked about. But one step in Zayn’s direction would be his own funeral.

 

His phone buzzed with a notification and he pulled it out to find a snapchat notification from Zayn. Liam opened it to see a picture of Zayn with the cat ears and whiskers filter. He was lying in bed and smiling sweetly at the camera. The caption read, ‘goodnight jaan I love you. I hope you’re still thinking about my cat request and keep in mind, it will be much more cuter than me in this filter <3’

 

Liam smiled, feeling his anger wash away and get replaced with the fierce love he felt for Zayn. He saved the picture and sent Zayn a message in reply that read, ‘I love you more than anything in this world angel. And just know, I would give you anything in this world, all you have to do is ask. Sweet dreams.’

 

Zayn sent him back a series of hearts and kissy-face emojis which made Liam grin. He wanted to hold him in his arms and kiss over every inch of his soft skin. His heart ached with how much he loved Zayn and how he would do anything to keep him safe. Even give up his own life.

 

 

**

 

 

“I just want to get drunk. I don’t care where we go. Besides, it’s the first Friday night of the semester there’s probably a lot of parties going on.”

 

Zayn was sitting on the floor of his dorm room with Harry and Louis, as they shared a large cheese pizza amongst themselves. It was Friday evening and the other two were deciding on their plans for the evening when Zayn already knew what he was doing. Liam was picking him up in a little bit and he was going to stay with him for the weekend. This week had felt long and Zayn was more than excited to sleep on Liam’s massive comfortable bed, in the warmth of his arms again.

 

“What about you Zayn? Want to come hit some parties with us?” Louis asked him.

 

“No I have plans. My boyfriend is coming to get me in a few minutes and I’m going to his place for the weekend.” Zayn blushed as Harry and Louis both cooed at him.

 

“Zaynie is going to get some good dicking,” Harry teased.

 

“Shut up Haz,” Zayn mumbled although he couldn’t help his own smile.

 

“Tasha is waiting in the lobby for me. She wants to hit this party at a sorority house. Let’s go Harry,” Louis said as he read a text on his phone then stood up.

 

“L- James is here too,” Zayn said as he grabbed his backpack and small overnight bag.

 

“Ohh. Lemme get a look at this James who has you so whipped.” Louis grinned.

 

Zayn faltered a little and looked over at Harry who was trying hard not to laugh. Zayn gave a tight smile and walked out with his bags as the other two followed him. As Zayn descended the stairs, he wondered how he could potentially avoid Louis seeing Liam. This was not the moment he wanted to be caught in his lie. He felt a little pathetic, but he sent Liam a text asking him not to leave the car, saying that a few students here were fans of his. Liam sent him a few question marks but then said ‘sure.’

 

Zayn sighed and walked out of the lobby to see Liam’s black SUV outside. Patrick got out of the front with a smile and took Zayn’s bags to put them in the trunk.

 

“Damn Zayn. Is your boyfriend actually a rich old sugar daddy? That would explain your shady behaviour and expensive jewellery.” Louis smirked and pointed at the Cartier bracelet.

 

“No!” Zayn said and smacked Louis’ arm. “See you guys Sunday night.”

 

“Bye boo.” Harry pulled him into a hug and kissed his head.

 

“Bye Haz.” Zayn hugged him back then hugged Louis as well who smiled and winked at him.

 

Zayn rolled his eyes and climbed into the backseat as Patrick opened the door for him. “Thank you Patrick,” Zayn said.

 

“Hi beautiful,” Liam greeted him with a warm smile. He was still in his work clothes although his tie had been loosened up around his neck, and his sleeves rolled up. Zayn felt like he could breathe again after being out of breath whenever he was away from Liam. He silently climbed into Liam’s lap to straddle him and hugged him tightly.

 

Liam smacked the partition button, then pulled Zayn into a long passionate kiss that conveyed how much they had missed each other when they were apart. Zayn moved back a little to rest his forehead against Liam’s and just breathe him in.

 

“I missed you,” Zayn whispered.

 

“Missed you too baby.” Liam drew him forward to kiss him again, ever so softly.

 

“I’m sorry about being all shady. My new friend is a massive fan of yours and I haven’t told him I’m dating you. I told him I’m dating some older man named James who works in a management firm. He has no idea.” Zayn felt embarrassed by his own story and it deepened after Liam looked at him in surprise for a few minutes then burst out laughing.

 

“Only you baby. Only you.” Liam laughed and kissed him as Zayn flushed further. “Although I must say this James person is really keen for you. He shows up everywhere. I should be jealous.”

 

“I think he’s in love with me,” Zayn mused jokingly.

 

Liam grinned and tugged him into a kiss again. It was cut short as Zayn’s phone buzzed. Zayn sighed and pulled it out to read the new message, expecting it to be Harry with some random news. But It was from a blocked number and Zayn felt confused. When he opened it up and read the message, it sent a chill through his body.

 

From BLOCKED NUMBER: you look ravishing in red baby. And those glasses of yours and that pretty blush make me unable to think. All I can think about is fucking you so hard that you fall apart under me.

 

Zayn’s hand shook as he read the text and his mind completely glazed over. This had to be a joke but then again, he was wearing a red hoodie today and the glasses bit only made it seem more accurate. Who was this and why were they texting him such inappropriate things? Zayn had been staring at his phone for so long that he was unaware of how he was shaking and Liam was calling his name in concern.

 

“Baby? Baby what is it? Zayn.” Liam touched his face worriedly to get his attention. Zayn snapped back to reality and shoved his phone back into his pocket. He couldn’t show this to Liam and make him worry. It was clearly either a wrong number or some stupid prank.

 

“N-nothing. Nothing.” Zayn swallowed, feeling that his throat was as dry as sand.

 

“Zayn… my love… what is it?” Liam asked again. His face was filled with concern and Zayn felt bad about lying but he couldn’t worry Liam with something so stupid.

 

“Nothing just… my manager texted me that my first real shift is on Monday and I felt anxious all of a sudden,” Zayn stuttered out the lie.

 

“Are you sure?” Liam asked, probably sensing the lie.

 

“Yes. I promise.” Zayn tucked his face into Liam’s neck so that he couldn’t see his face anymore. Liam rubbed a soothing hand up and down his back and Zayn just willed his heart rate to slow down. Whatever that was, it had to be some fucked up joke.

 

 

**

 

 

“Maa says I have to go see her on Sunday so can you take me there for a little while?”  Zayn was leaning against the wall as Liam punched in the key code to the main door of his penthouse.

 

“Sure baby.” Liam took his hand as he pushed the door open and they walked into the dark penthouse. “Lights,” Liam called out and the lights in the main corridor turned on.

 

“You can grab something to drink or eat if you like. I’ll be back in a second,” Liam told Zayn as the boy set his bag down in the living room.

 

“Do you want anything?” Zayn asked as he made his way to the kitchen.

 

“Water would be good,” Liam called out as he walked up the stairs. Truth was, he had a surprise for Zayn that he needed to grab. After he had sent Zayn the message on Snapchat saying that he would give him anything in the world, Liam had realized just how accurate that was. There was nothing he could deny Zayn. Absolutely nothing. Liam unlocked his bedroom door and walked towards the bed where a brown basket sat. Inside was a tiny pure white kitten, just about the size of his palm. It was a boy, a new born, and he was sleeping peacefully. Liam ran his finger over the soft white fur and the kitten purred. Although at first he had told Zayn that it wasn’t logical to have a kitten, Liam knew in his heart he would have given it to him. Anything to put a smile on Zayn’s face.

 

Liam picked up the basket and made his way back downstairs. Zayn was standing in front of the TV and drinking a glass of water. He was laughing at a How I Met Your Mother rerun that was playing. Liam stood in the doorway, watching him for a few moments with nothing but adoration rippling through his body. Zayn turned around and saw him and smiled instantly.

 

“Li can we go watch IT in theatres next Friday?” Zayn asked.

 

“Sure.” Liam smiled and walked a few steps forward. Zayn’s eyes dropped to the basket and he shot Liam a curious look.

 

“What’s in the basket?” Zayn questioned.

 

“Close your eyes,” Liam said.

 

Zayn looked confused but he closed his eyes. Liam walked right up to him and placed the basket down. Then he picked the kitten up into his own hands and it was so tiny that it nestled right in his palm. Liam smiled down at the kitten and then smiled at Zayn.

 

“Open,” Liam said.

 

Zayn opened his eyes and looked at Liam’s face. When he looked down at his hands, he jumped back in shock and dropped his glass of water. It didn’t crack as it fell onto the rug, but the water spilled everywhere. Zayn barely noticed it as he stared at the kitten in Liam’s hands.

 

“Li,” Zayn stammered in shock.

 

“There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t give you Zayn,” Liam murmured and held out the kitten.

 

Zayn looked pale with shock and he took the kitten from Liam. Although Zayn’s hands were smaller than Liam’s, the kitten was so tiny that it was barely larger than Zayn’s palm as well.

 

“Jaan,” Zayn breathed as tears sprang to his eyes. He sank to his knees, holding the kitten close to his body as he stared down at it. Then he looked up at Liam with his chin trembling, and suddenly tears burst from his eyes and he was crying.

 

“Baby!” Liam exclaimed in shock. This was not the reaction he was expecting. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Liam you’re so… you…” Zayn looked downwards as thick tears rolled off his face and onto the carpet. He was stroking the kitten lovingly but his body was trembling.

 

“Why are you crying sweetheart?” Liam asked worriedly. He cupped Zayn’s face and wiped away the tears before leaving kisses across his tear-stained face.

 

“You’re so good to me. You literally... I say something and you just... why are you so good to me?” Zayn sniffed.

 

“Because I love you silly. I love you so fucking much.” Liam wrapped Zayn into a hug, careful of the kitten, and kissed the top of Zayn’s head.

 

“I love you s-so so much,” Zayn murmured tearfully into his chest. “And the kitten is so beautiful. Is it a girl or boy?”

 

“A boy. And he still has to be named which is something you would do of course.” Liam tilted Zayn’s head back and smiled at him. Zayn gave him a watery smile as well and Liam kissed his salty cheeks and lips.

 

“I’ve had a list of cat names picked out for a while,” Zayn murmured and rubbed the kitten’s ear as he purred.

 

“I’m sure they’re all great,” Liam assured him and kissed his forehead.

 

“Liam… you’re so amazing. I- I’m literally speechless. Here.” Zayn put Liam’s hand over his heart which was thundering rapidly. “This is what you do to me.”

 

Liam kept his hand over Zayn’s thumping heart and pulled him in for a kiss. Zayn set the kitten down into the basket then wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck to kiss him properly. His lips were hungry and his whispers of ‘I love you’ made Liam’s heart surge with even more love than humanly possible for the boy.

 

And a few hours later, when Zayn was asleep on his chest and the unnamed kitten slept on his chest as well, Liam realized that this was all he cared about. In this entire world, all he cared about was making Zayn happy. He would do everything in his power to make Zayn happy like this for as long as he lived. Because as long as Zayn was happy, and Liam had him in his arms, he himself was the happiest man in the world. And nothing could break that.

 

 

**

 

 

Liam rolled over in bed and his hand fell on top of an empty spot. “Baby?” Liam called out hoarsely. When there was no reply, Liam cracked open an eye and saw that Zayn’s side of the bed was empty. The blackout blinds on his window made it impossible to tell what time it was, so Liam grabbed his phone and saw that it was 8 a.m. It was way too early on a Saturday morning for Zayn to have disappeared.

 

Liam rolled out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweats over his briefs, foregoing a shirt. Then he went downstairs in search of Zayn. The place was quite silent but he heard some voices coming from the kitchen. Liam walked over to the kitchen and found Zayn. He huffed quietly as he noticed what Zayn was doing. The boy had clearly woken up not too long ago because he was still in the pajama bottoms and t-shirt he had slept in. He was sat on top of the kitchen island with the kitten in his lap as he helped the tiny animal drink milk from a shallow bowl. Zayn hadn’t seen Liam yet, so he stood in the archway that led in to the kitchen and watched him.

 

“…and you’re going to be so happy here,” Zayn was murmuring to the kitten as he stroked his tiny ears. “Your other daddy, Liam, he brought you here and you’re going to be with him most of the time. But don’t worry because I’ll visit all the time. But Liam will keep you so happy. He makes me so happy. He’s the love of my life and I would do anything for him. He does these crazy things for me and it leaves me speechless. But sometimes I think he doesn’t even know that I would give my life for him. I love him so much. And I’m going to love you so much too bubs.” Zayn lifted the kitten in front of his face and kissed him as the kitten gave a small meow.

 

“Looks like we have chocolate chips after all. I can make you the pancakes,” Mary said as she walked out of the pantry. “Morning Liam.”

 

Zayn snapped around and looked at Liam with wide eyes not expecting him to have been standing there. Liam gave Zayn a grin and walked forward. “Morning Mary. Morning angel. And kitty.” Liam cupped Zayn’s face to kiss him and stroked the kitten’s head.

 

“Did you hear all that?” Zayn asked quietly. When Liam nodded, Zayn flushed a little and turned his face down. Liam laughed lightly and kissed his forehead.

 

“So, did you finalize a name?” Liam asked.

 

“Yes, but you can’t laugh,” Zayn warned.

 

“I promise.” Liam rubbed Zayn’s thigh and kissed his temple.

  
“I had many ideas, a few Game of Thrones inspired options, and I finally settled on one. So…this is Rhaegar. Ray for short.” Zayn had such a wide smile on his face that his eyes and nose were all scrunched up. Liam chuckled and grabbed his face to kiss him all over it.

 

“That’s a heavy name for such a tiny dude.” Liam rubbed ‘Ray’ behind his ears and the kitten purred in satisfaction. He was nestled in the crook of Zayn’s elbow, so small that he could barely be seen.

 

“I think it suits him. He looks regal enough to be a Targaryen, like a prince, and he’ll be strong like him.” Zayn shrugged and kissed Rhaegar’s head.

 

“I like it. Nice choice baby.” Liam kissed him then turned around to grab a water bottle from the fridge.

 

“Zayn’s been fonding over the kitten all morning like some mother who has brought home her new born baby for the first time. I can only imagine what he’d be like if you two actually brought home a baby.” Mary laughed as she flipped pancakes.

 

Zayn turned red and looked at Liam for a few seconds before he quickly turned back to Ray. Liam smiled and chugged half of his water bottle. The image Mary had painted was sending an unexpected rush of something warm through his blood. Liam came back over to Zayn and pecked his forehead before turning his back to him, to lean against the island between Zayn’s legs. Zayn wrapped his arm around Liam’s torso and rested his chin on his shoulder.

 

“You’ll be careful with him when I’m not here right?” Zayn asked in a slightly worried tone.

 

Liam rubbed Zayn’s arm and turned his head a little to kiss the boy’s lips. Liam nudged Zayn’s forehead with his own and smiled slowly at him. “Don’t worry baby. He’ll be fine here. Ray and his _daddy_ will get along well.”

 

At Liam’s teasing tone, Zayn turned red and bit Liam’s earlobe. “Shut up devil man.”

 

Liam laughed and took a bite of the apple Zayn held in front of his mouth. After he swallowed, he kissed Zayn and licked inside to get a taste of the apple’s sweetness from the boy’s mouth as well.

 

“Well don’t forget that I’m right here,” Mary scolded.

 

“Sorry Mary,” Zayn apologized sincerely and turned back to stroking Ray who was still dozing in the basket beside Zayn.

 

Liam walked over to the coffee machine to pour himself a cup as Mary laid down their plates of pancakes and eggs. Zayn was climbing off the island to go towards his stool, when his phone buzzed. Liam noticed Zayn look at his phone in confusion, and when he read the message he turned as pale as Ray’s fur. His hand started to tremble and he shot Liam a fleeting look. His eyes were wide and his face was covered in growing anxiety. Liam’s heart stopped as he registered the fear on Zayn’s face. He had no idea what caused it, but he set down his mug and quickly went over to Zayn and grabbed his hand.

 

“What’s wrong Zayn?” Liam inquired.

 

“N-nothing. Nothing. I- I have to use the bathroom, can you watch Ray?” Zayn choked out.

 

“Baby. What happened?” Liam caught his hand, refusing to let him run off.

 

“Nothing! Li please- I just have to use the bathroom P-please…” Zayn tugged his hand out of Liam’s grasp and ran out of the kitchen.

 

“Zayn!” Liam yelled after him.

 

Liam watched him go in confusion and shock. He looked over at Mary who looked just as surprised. Liam had no idea what happened to Zayn or what caused that look of sheer fear to pass over his face. And when he thought about it, it had happened yesterday as well when Zayn had gotten a message in the car and looked scared. This was similar to that and Liam wondered what was causing Zayn so much stress and fear. He could not let it go because there was nothing he despised more than unhappiness or fear on Zayn’s face. Liam didn’t know why Zayn was hiding something, but he felt that it was probably because of his self-sacrificial nature. It could be nothing at all, but if it was something bothering him or causing him fear like Liam had seen on his face, he would do everything in his power to find out what it was and deal with it.

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked that because to be honest, I've been really worried about this chapter and when I was editing it I felt like something was missing and I dunno... Also I realize that most of the chapter was Zayn's POV but it had to be because I needed to set up Zayn's base at college. And that's why there's so many short scenes (I don't know if people found that choppy) because there's so much I wanted to introduce/cover in this chapter it was difficult deciding what to do. Everything about this fic has been decided in my brain but sometimes putting it down coherently is tough. And this is the transition chapter where I'm officially moving from the first half of the fic where I was establishing ziam's relationship to the second half where they are established and new plot lines have to formulate (aka the drama/angst). If this was a series, starting from chapter 15 would have been book 2 or part 2. But the fic as a whole is shifting to the next important more heavier section now. And when I mean buckle up I seriously mean buckle up lmao. (i realize I keep mentioning the angst without being specific and that must be annoying but that's because i'm trying really hard to avoid spoilers, i want things to be unexpected) ANYWAYS I hope you were okay with this chapter because I was meh. I love foreshadowing drama and I've been excited to start it but I don't know how it's coming off. I'll let you guys be the judge. 
> 
> Thank you so so SO much for reading and supporting this fic. I know the fic community in the ziam fandom is pretty much dead as no one writes or reads fics anymore and it can be really tough on me sometimes bcus I wonder if I have like only 3 readers left, but then I tell myself it's okay because I love writing this fic and even if there's just 3 of you reading I love you and thank you for being so great. <3 
> 
> P.S. I have like a two week summer break as my summer semester is finally over and the next one starts in september so I'm motivating myself to bang out at least 2-3 chapters in this time (unless something happens and I get really busy) because I really want to get into start certain plot lines. Wish me luck! <3 
> 
> P.P.S. Louis is finallyyyy here for those of you who have been waiting. I have too tbh because he's going to become integrated into zayn and harry's little circle and it'll be nice to write the threesome's friendship. Plus when louis finds out zayn is dating liam it's gonna be great lol :) and just to reiterate since many people have been asking, larry will go together but I'm not writing any scenes for them, it'll just be implied along the way because this is JUST a ziam story (sorry to any larry shippers who might be waiting for larry only scenes) 
> 
> P.P.P.S. just to clarify, a few game of thrones references, the nicknames 'my sun and stars' and 'moon of my life' are from GoT that daenerys and khal used for each other, I didnt create those. and the name rhaegar for the kitty is also from the show from the character rhaegar targaryen
> 
> P.P.P.P.S this is getting too long lol but I had a quick question, I've been wondering this for some time but I forget to put it in my end notes every time. Formatting wise, would you guys prefer it if I italicized urdu words and dialogues to differentiate them from the rest of the text AND would you also like me to italicize text messages? Before I had the format where I only italicized flashbacks, song lyrics and things like hand written notes but would you like to do it for one or both of these above mentioned things too?


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, hope you've been good. Thanks for all your love and support as always you're all so wonderful! I can't even describe what your support means to me <33 I don't have much to say for now, I'll talk about a few things in the end notes. So I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

 

 

_‘I spent all night thinking about you on your knees for me… under me… spread out for me… thinking about how you’d moan all sweetly got me off a few times. I’ll get you like that soon enough sweet thing.’_

Zayn read the message. Then he re-read it. Then he read it many more times until his eyes registered nothing but a blur of words that made him sick to his stomach. His hands were shaking so violently that he dropped his phone onto the washroom counter. Turning the faucet on, he splashed some cold water on his face and tried to calm his erratic breathing. He looked up into the mirror and noticed how pale his face was. His eyes were wide and showing every bit of the anxiety he was feeling. Mind, body and heart were all rattled with fear and he wanted to throw up. And cry. What was this? Why was it happening? Who were these disturbing messages from? Summoning some courage, he grabbed his phone and typed out a quick message to the anonymous creeper.

 

**To Blocked Number: Who are you?**

 

It didn’t take more than a few seconds before a reply popped up in the chat screen.

 

**From Blocked Number: Is it cheesy to say secret admirer? I feel like I’m more than just that. You’ve got me all kinds of fucked up baby.**

 

Zayn’s hands started shaking again and he curbed the feeling of nausea as he frustratingly typed back another message.

 

**To Blocked Number: Don’t mess around with me. What do you want?**

 

**From Blocked Number: You.**

**To Blocked Number: I don’t know what kind of prank this is but it’s fucked up. That is if you’re even serious.**

**From Blocked Number: Oh I’m serious, Zayn. Your gorgeous eyes and smile have been consuming my thoughts.**

**To Blocked Number: Leave me alone. I’m not responding anymore.**

**From Blocked Number: Not possible. Have fun with your new cat. I’ll be seeing you around.**

 

At the mention of Ray, Zayn dropped his phone to the floor in shock. Liam had literally given him Ray last night. How in God’s name did this creep know about him? Zayn’s head started spiralling as he tried to register what was happening. There wasn’t really a way to avoid this unless if he just ignored the messages. He couldn’t block the number as it was already coming from a blocked or unknown source. This was so fucked up.

 

“Zayn?” There was a knock on the door accompanied by Liam’s voice. “Angel you’re really worrying me. If you don’t come out now, I’ll have to break the door down.”

 

Taking a few deep breaths, Zayn schooled his expression into something a little more neutral. He turned towards the door and opened it to see Liam standing on the other side with concern etched across his face.

 

“What happened Zayn?” Liam instantly took his hands and pulled him closer to himself. “What has you acting so scared and jumpy?”

 

“N-nothing,” Zayn stuttered. He clung to Liam tightly and closes his eyes. He didn’t know if he should tell Liam about the disturbing messages or not. Liam would get unnecessarily worried and Zayn didn’t want to cause that. Liam was already super stressed about work and Zayn didn’t want to pile on with this. Nothing would come of it and he would just feel guilty for adding to the man’s worries.

 

“Baby.” Liam pulled back from Zayn and cupped his face tenderly. “Please don’t lie to me. Your face in the kitchen had so much fear on it. You had me so scared just by that one expression. And something happened in the car yesterday too which made you just as worried. Please, please, tell me what’s wrong. I hate nothing more than seeing worry or fear on your face.”

 

Zayn’s heart clenched and his mind went into chaos as he tried to think of what to say. As he tried to will some courage to be able to tell Liam about the texts, his tongue betrayed him and started spurting out lies.

 

“I umm…  there’s some stuff going on with my family and I didn’t want to tell you because you’re already worried and it’s nothing major. Just some financial things and Waliyha was texting me some updates. I got really worried and stressed out because my parents do so much for me and I felt helpless. I just… I’m sorry Liam. I didn’t want to worry you with something so small.” Zayn knew his voice sounded extremely unconvincing because of the stammering. Liam gazed at him contemplatively for a few seconds but Zayn knew he couldn’t find any other explanation. And this was probably a better explanation than showing the disturbing, stalker-ish messages he was receiving. Liam would lose his cool completely and he didn’t need that.

 

“Are you sure that’s all?” Liam asked with a furrowed brow.

 

“I promise,” Zayn lied in a small voice. He felt sick about lying to Liam but he had blurted out the lie in his moment of panic and now he couldn’t go back. And as his muddled subconscious told him, this was better.

 

“Okay. I’m sorry about your family situation though.” Liam kissed his head and rubbed a soothing hand up and down his back. “Is there any way I can help? If your parents need some money, I’m more than happy to help.”

 

If it was possible to feel even worse about his lie, that did it. Zayn smiled shakily at Liam and hugged him tighter. “Thanks, jaan. But you don’t have to. My uh, my brother in law was able to help out. I was just texting Doniya baji.” Zayn sighed and moved back from Liam’s arms to grab his phone. It was ridiculous how the lie was spinning so easily when his brain usually loved to betray him.

 

“Well if they still need anything, I’m here.” Liam took his hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. Zayn felt himself melt at the touch and he tightened his grip on Liam’s hand.

 

“I love you,” Zayn murmured. Liam smiled at him and pulled him into a gentle kiss.

 

“I love you too angel,” Liam whispered back and held him in a strong, loving embrace.

 

 

**

 

 

“For someone so little you sure have an appetite.”  
  
Zayn smiled at Ray as he ravished his cat food from his tiny dish. It was night time and he and Liam had finished eating dinner a little while ago. Liam had then disappeared to take a work call and Zayn had brought Ray into the kitchen to feed him dinner. They were sat on the marbled floor as Ray ate and Zayn watched him with a fond smile. He’d known the kitten for a day but was smitten with the little furry creature. He had been a little off for most of the day after those weird text messages, but Liam had cooked them a wonderful dinner of steaks and his mood had been uplifted again. He couldn’t let this creepy person take his mind over completely. He had one more night with Liam before going back to his dorm and he wanted to make the most of it.

 

After Ray was done eating, Zayn scooped him up in one hand and balanced two mugs of tea in his other hand. Then he went in search of his boyfriend. After looking everywhere, he realized Liam must be on the roof and climbed up the stairs to it. He shouldered the door open and heard Liam’s voice carrying across the roof. He saw the man reclining on a chair by the edge of the pool. Zayn smiled and walked over to him. He put the mugs down on a table, then circled to stand in front of Liam. The man looked up at him, his lips curled around a cigarette and grinned at Zayn.

 

“Sleep on those ideas Anderson and I’ll call you tomorrow.” Liam took Zayn’s hand and pulled him down onto the chair as well. “Have a good night.”

 

Zayn plucked the cigarette from Liam’s hand and stubbed it out in the ashtray as Liam gave him an amused look. Zayn raised an eyebrow back at him, then curled into his side and drew Ray up to lie on his chest. He dropped a kiss onto his furry head and scratched behind his ears as the kitten purred.

 

“He’s very much like you. Tiny, adorable, and loves cuddles.” Liam chuckled and kissed Zayn on top of his head.

 

“Didn’t you know? Children take after their parents,” Zayn said, faux seriously.

 

“Oh of course. I’m so sorry.” Liam laughed and rubbed a hand along Ray’s back. “Are you okay though baby? You’ve been a little off all day.”

 

“I’m fine. Just the family thing and thinking about school stuff was making me a little stressed,” Zayn murmured and nuzzled his face into Liam’s chest.

 

“You know you can tell me anything, right? I love you and I’m always here for you. That always and forever stuff means something okay? I would do anything for you and even if you just need me to listen, I’m here. So, no secrets.” Liam squeezed his body and dropped kisses to his head.

 

“I know,” Zayn whispered. He felt so awful for keeping this secret from Liam. It felt silly but he was keeping a lie nonetheless. And it was leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

 

“I’m going to take a swim and then we can head to bed.” Liam cupped his face and pecked him multiple times until Zayn started smiling against his lips.

 

“Mmm. Take your time. Watching you swim is always an enjoyable show.” Zayn grinned.

 

Liam laughed and flicked his nose as he got up. He stripped until he was completely nude and winked at Zayn. He dove into the swimming pool behind him in one smooth motion, leaving Zayn a little breathless. Zayn sat on the chair with his mug of tea and watched as Liam gracefully stroked through the pool, lit up by the spotlights around it. When he did a lap back towards Zayn, he stopped at the edge of the pool and pushed his wet hair back with one hand. He gave Zayn a smile that made him feel like his heart had dropped out of his body.

 

“You know if you ever wanted to give swimming another try, I could really help you. I would never let go.” Liam leaned his arms on the ledge and gazed at him.

 

“I mean… it’s tempting…” Zayn licked his lips as he dragged his eyes down Liam’s muscular body glinting with the pool water.

 

“Get in.” Liam motioned him forward with a smile. “I promise I’ll hold onto you. You don’t even have to swim and we can stay in the shallow end.”

 

“Promise?” Zayn asked, his heart already thundering.

 

“Cross my heart, hope to die.” Liam held his hand out for Zayn with a smile.

 

Zayn put Ray down on the chair, who was already dozing off again, and got up. He dropped his own clothes as well and watched as Liam swept his eyes down his body with obvious desire. When he looked back up into Zayn’s eyes, he had a lazy smirk on his face.

 

“Or I could just fuck you right here,” Liam murmured with a wink.

 

“Swim first,” Zayn said with a laugh. He sat down on the edge of the pool in front of Liam and dipped his feet in. Liam ran his hands up Zayn’s bare thighs and gripped his hips before depositing a kiss to his lips. Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and hooked his legs around his waist. They kissed with languid desire for a few minutes until Liam lifted him from the ground with ease and carried him into the pool. Zayn gasped in surprise but kept his limbs in a fierce lock around Liam. The latter was slowly walking backwards into the water with Zayn wrapped around him like a koala.

 

“Don’t let go Li,” Zayn said fearfully, his eyes wide as saucers.

 

“Never,” Liam promised and kissed him gently.

 

Liam slowly started wading through the water as Zayn clung to him. He hugged Liam tightly and looked over his shoulder towards where Ray was dozing on the chair. Smiling to himself, he realized how utterly perfect his life felt these days. He was genuinely happy and content. He had his family, friends, the love of his life who had made everything more brighter. And now Ray. The sweet furry creature who Zayn loved deeply already. He believed in the evil eye one hundred percent and just prayed that nothing would affect his happy little world.

 

“Want to try paddling a little yourself? I could teach you,” Liam offered.

 

“No!” Zayn yelled and held on tighter. “Not yet, jaan. Please. I’m not ready.”

 

“Alright, alright,” Liam soothed. He rubbed Zayn’s back comfortingly and kissed his bare shoulder. “I’ll continue swimming slowly and you continue holding on like a koala.”

 

Zayn smacked his back lightly as Liam laughed. “I wonder if someone watching us can see that we’re naked,” Zayn wondered.

 

“If they’re creeps using a telescope from any of the buildings close by, then yeah. Although it’s not that likely because this building is the tallest one in the nearby radius and with the side walls no one can really see,” Liam replied as he turned around to make another lap.

 

“Well I hope not,” Zayn murmured.

 

Liam hummed and moved his face back to kiss him. Zayn smiled against his lips and opened his own mouth to let Liam slip his tongue in. Liam ran a hand down his slick body and squeezed his ass as he claimed his mouth in a hot kiss. They continued to kiss under the moonlight for a while until the pool became too inconvenient and they had to rush to the bedroom to escalate their kissing into heated passion between the sheets.

 

 

**

 

 

 

“Zayn, Zayn, Zayn.”

 

Zayn looked up from his notebook to see Jason drop into the seat beside him. His hand clenched around his pen in unease. The other boy was smiling at him in that predatory way he always did.

 

“You didn’t come to my party or text me. This kind of behaviour is quite unusual for me I must say,” Jason chided.

 

“I uh… I’ve been busy,” Zayn mumbled.

 

“You wound me bambi eyes.” Jason sighed and pulled out his phone. As Zayn glanced at Jason texting on his phone, the memory of the stalker messages popped into his head and he froze.

 

“Jason… have you… have you been texting me?” Zayn asked slowly.

 

Jason shot him a confused look. “No. I don’t even have your number. I gave you my number so you could text me first. Which you haven’t done,” Jason reminded him.

 

“I know… I just… I’m sorry. I’ve been getting these weird messages and I just thought-” Zayn stopped as Jason touched his hand.

 

“No, it’s not me. If you don’t believe me, text the number now and you’ll see that my phone won’t buzz because it’s not me,” Jason offered.

 

“No, it’s fine. The number is blocked anyways.” Zayn shrugged the idea off.

 

“Alright. Well I promise it’s not me. I’m straightforward with my intentions.” Jason winked at him.

 

Just as Zayn turned back towards his work, Jason reached over and touched his notebook. He wasn’t too sure what he was looking at, but when Jason touched his fingers to the doodles on the cover of his notebook, Zayn became very self-conscious.

 

“Did you make those?” Jason asked curiously.

 

“Umm, yeah. It’s nothing major… just some silly doodles,” Zayn pointed out. His fingers twitched nervously as Jason inspected all the doodles he had done of Marvel characters, or the tiny doodle he had made of Daenerys’ three dragons at the bottom.

 

“These are fucking amazing,” Jason exclaimed as he traced the Captain America doodle. “And you call them silly doodles?”

 

“It’s just… I’m not an artist. It’s just a past-time,” Zayn exhaled.

 

“Trust me. These are good. As a matter of fact, I draw ‘silly doodles’ too.” Jason reached into his bag to pull out a black sketch book and slid it over to Zayn.

 

Zayn tentatively opened it with shallow curiosity, and was immediately faced with a nude drawing of a woman who had gorgeous freckles over most of her body. Zayn’s eyebrows shot up at the unexpected nudity but he was more shocked at how amazing the sketch was. He had not expected this from Jason.

 

“You- you’re really good,” Zayn said.

 

“Thanks. My majors are business and art both. Thus, the work.” Jason shrugged.

 

“It’s really good. My doodles are in fact very silly in front of this,” Zayn said as he continued to flip through the work.

 

“I bet you make some incredible work. You’re full of many surprises Zayn Malik,” Jason said with a glint in his eyes. “You know, I’m the head of this art club on campus. I used to TA an art class some time back but I hated how structured everything had to be with deadlines. So, I founded an art club where people can come to a free space to work on their art and learn from one another. And occasionally we display our work at a gallery. It’s pretty great.”

 

“Art club?” Zayn asked.

 

“You should come by for sure. Trust me, it’ll be a way to kick back and have fun. Especially if you like to use art as a relaxation technique without wanting the stress of a classroom,” Jason said with a casual smile.

 

“I don’t know…” Zayn fiddled with his notebook as his mind battled with the idea. Truthfully, it sounded amazing. The only things bothering him, the usual anxiety about new places which he felt he could deal with. But the bigger issue, Jason.

 

“Come on Zayn. At least try it out once.” Jason tried to convince him.

 

“I’ll think about it,” Zayn answered.

 

“I’ll get to see you more that way as well.” Jason smiled and brushed his hand over Zayn’s as he pulled his sketchbook back over. Zayn gritted his teeth and tried not to shout out that that was the last thing he wanted.

 

“Okay if you really don’t want to see me, I’m not there all the time. At least just promise me that you’ll check it out?” He looked at Zayn hopefully.

 

“Fine,” Zayn relented with a sigh.  “Where is it?”

 

“I’ll text you the place and time,” Jason answered as the professor started the lecture. He slid his phone over to Zayn, open on new contact. Zayn sighed internally because this would be a big slap in the face to his plan about ignoring Jason. But this art club sounded amazing and he owed it to himself to try and break his shell in college, like he had promised himself. And maybe after he found out the timings, he could just try and go there whenever Jason was absent. He swallowed the bitterness in his mouth and quickly punched his number in.

 

“I’m not coming to any parties. This is just for the art club,” Zayn clarified.

 

“Sure.” Jason grinned at him then turned his attention to the front of the room. While Zayn sat there wondering if he had just made a huge mistake.

 

 

 

**

 

 

“Zaynie how’s it going?”

 

Zayn smiled at Louis as he tied his apron around his waist. It was late in the afternoon, his lab class had finished, and his shift at the café was starting now. He was glad Louis had a shift at the same time because this was technically his first day and he had been sweating it with nerves all day. He felt that if he survived this day without making any major mistakes, he would do okay with this job.

 

“I’m good Lou,” Zayn said as he came up to where Louis was sat on a chair. They were in the employee room getting their aprons on before they went out for their shift.

 

“Do you see how unfair this is?” Louis turned his phone towards him. Zayn took it from him and almost tripped over as he saw that it was open on Liam’s Instagram. Yesterday when he had been over at Liam’s place, he had been watching Liam play with Ray as he lay shirtless on the bed. Zayn had felt like his heart was bursting as Liam gently played with the kitten and kissed him while laughing at his antics. Zayn had taken a picture of Liam with Ray curled up on his chest. Which the man had uploaded to Instagram with the caption ‘Rhaegar adores his daddy.’

Seeing it open on Louis’ phone not only brought back the memory but also reminded him of the lie hanging over his head.

 

“He is already so unfairly hot but now he’s cuddly too? Just look at that kitten and look at him!” Louis moaned.

 

“Uh… yeah. Nice.” Zayn coughed awkwardly.

 

“My dick cannot handle this much attractiveness.” Louis sighed. They walked out to the front of the café, which wasn’t too busy at the moment.

 

Zayn gave him a strange look and Louis patted his back. “I would love to be that cat,” Louis said.

 

“You… have like a cat kink?” Zayn asked slowly.

 

“No, dumbass. Meaning I’d love to lie on his chest,” Louis clarified.

 

“Oh,” Zayn said and cleared his throat because of the sheer uncomfortableness.

 

“Speaking of kinks… he seems really kinky. I mean which rich person isn’t but just look at him. He would probably just tie you up and completely claim you,” Louis sighed.

 

“Me?” Zayn exclaimed.

 

“Not you silly. I mean in general. Like the person he’s dating. That mystery guy from his Instagram for example,” Louis mused.

 

“Right.” Zayn went to the side to begin preparing an iced coffee after Gina took an order from a customer. His own mind flashed with the images of the time he had let Liam tie him up in Barcelona and his cheeks heated up at the memory. He could feel himself getting aroused at just the thought, so he forced it out of his mind and focused on making the drink.

 

“Umm, isn’t that the creeper who was hitting on you last time?” Louis nudged him. Zayn looked up and saw that Jason had just settled into a seat with another girl and they seemed to be studying. He closed his eyes and prayed to God for some patience because his limit was being crossed.

 

“Yeah,” Zayn muttered.

 

“Don’t worry. I’ll serve him if he comes up. And maybe throw hot coffee in his face.” Louis grinned and walked away to take over the till for Gina. Zayn smiled in Louis’ direction, feeling thoroughly glad for his presence, despite the continued awkwardness of his crush on Liam.

  

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out to see another text from the blocked number. Goosebumps started rising on his skin and he automatically looked up at Jason, but didn’t see a phone anywhere near him. In fact, he was deep in conversation with the girl next to him. Zayn gulped and slowly unlocked his phone.

 

**From Blocked Number: If I thought red was your colour, blue looks just as good on you baby. I can feel my jeans getting tight just looking at you. I bet your ass would be tight too.**

 

Zayn wanted to scream in frustration because he had no idea what the fuck was going on. His body quivered in fear and annoyance and he shoved his phone away without answering. He could feel his eyes welling up with frustrated tears so he turned around to start sweeping the floor to distract himself.

 

“Zayn? Zayn?” He rubbed a hand across his eyes and looked to the side to see, of course, Jason standing there looking at him in concern.

 

“You good?” Jason asked.

 

“Fine,” Zayn answered shortly.

 

“Alright. Well I saw you and just remembered that I forgot to text you about the art club location. I’ll send it to you now and don’t let me down by not showing up.” Jason smiled.

 

Zayn just nodded and went over to Gina who needed help making Jason and his friend’s drinks. After he took them, he winked at Zayn and walked back to his table. His heart rate had still not slowed down after the disturbing message. He could try and get a new number but he would have to give an explanation to Liam, his friends and his whole family ad to why he was changing it. And he couldn’t think of a single reasonable excuse at the moment. All he could do was wonder why he had to be put in this strange situation and why he couldn’t just be left alone.

 

 

**

 

 

“Babe, can I get the room to myself for an hour tomorrow so I can film a dorm room tour video?”

 

“Hmm? Yeah, sure.”

 

Zayn lay across his bed in a pool of open notebooks and textbooks, but his eyes were glued to his phone screen as he stared at all the creepy messages from the stalker. He’d been racking his brain all day trying to figure out who this person could be. He had never harmed anyone or bothered anyone in his life, so this couldn’t be some revenge prank. He barely spoke to anyone, always keeping to himself, so where could this person have met him or seen him? They had to be on campus quite a lot if they had talked about his clothes so accurately. Not to mention knowing about Ray when neither he nor Liam had mentioned him on social media at that point.

 

“ZayZay you good?” Harry asked. Zayn looked over at Harry who was sitting in bed cross legged, with his laptop perched in his lap. He was shooting Zayn a quizzical look.

 

Zayn smiled at him quickly and put his phone aside. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

 

Harry looked at him silently for a few moments then moved his laptop aside to come sit beside Zayn. “Zay I’ve known you since you were barely a month old and I was fresh out of my mother’s womb. I know when you’re lying. Especially because you blink a lot and you become fidgety. Now what is going on. Do you miss your family? Or Liam? Or your new kitten?”

 

Zayn sighed and sat up in bed. “I’ll tell you if you swear not to tell anyone.”

 

“You know I would keep any and every secret you told me. Even if you murdered someone. Now tell me what’s up.” Harry picked up Zayn’s legs and draped them over his own lap.

 

“There’s these text messages I’ve been getting… from a blocked number… they’re very disturbing and inappropriate. Plus, the person knows what clothes I’m wearing each time they text me and they knew about Ray when I hadn’t even had him for 24 hours yet.” Zayn sighed and Harry furrowed his brow.

 

“Let me see.” Harry held out his hand for the phone and Zayn gave it to him. He watched as Harry read the messages and saw his face cloud in anger and genuine shock. “Who the fuck… did you show these to Liam?”

 

“No,” Zayn answered in a low voice.

 

“Zayn!” Harry exclaimed. “You absolute moron! Why not?”

“Because! Because… he’s already got a lot on his plate and I’m not about to add on to it. It’s stupid anyways. Just a prank.” Zayn snatched his phone back and threw it aside.

 

“Zayn this isn’t a prank. This is straight up stalker material. This person knew about your cat when you or Liam hadn’t announced it anywhere. They know how you dress. What the fuck? I’ve seen enough horror movies where creepy murdering stalkers start off like this and the main character acts dumb like you and thinks it’s nothing. But they end up dead.” Harry glared at him.

 

“Don’t scare me like that!” Zayn yelled. “I don’t… I don’t… with Jason constantly being on my case and these messages… I just… I don’t know and it’s too dumb to bother Liam with. He would get angry and more stressed out and I don’t want to cause trouble for people.” Zayn felt tears sting his eyes with frustration and he fell back on his bed.

 

“My stupid, foolish boy.” Harry lay down behind him and hugged him tightly. “Stop being so self-sacrificing and put yourself first for once. You worry too much about other people’s well-being and not enough for your own. Telling your boyfriend that you’re getting harassed through messages isn’t going to cause him stress. Liam can probably figure out who this is and knock them out and then maybe give that fucker Jason a few punches too.”

 

“I know. I just. I saw first-hand how angry Liam can get at someone who threatens me. He hurt that Max guy pretty badly. I don’t want to cause more issues or be the reason his anger gets set off,” Zayn explained.

 

“Babe, Liam can control his anger pretty well now, you said so yourself. And if someone is sexually harassing you through text messages, I would full support Liam punching them. Don’t ignore this.” Harry rubbed his back and kissed his head.

 

“I know. But you promised me you wouldn’t say anything and I need you to keep that promise. I can’t tell Liam just yet. Maybe later when he isn’t so stressed about his Vegas deal. And I might just change my number anyways,” Zayn replied.

 

Harry sighed and squeezed his hand. “It’s a stupid decision but I’ll keep my promise. But if the messages get worse, I’m calling Liam and telling him myself. And honestly, we could get together and punch that other guy, Jason, ourselves.”

  

“If only,” Zayn murmured. “But I’m checking out this art club he told me about and then maybe later you could punch him.”

 

“Art club?” Harry asked.

 

“Yeah. Jason saw my doodles and told me about this art club he founded or something. It sounds nice so I’m going to check it out,” Zayn answered.

 

“Well just remember to give him a piece of your mind if he continues to act too forward. In fact, I might also do so.” Zayn smiled at Harry and patted his face which prompted the latter to hug him again. “I’m always here for you Zay. And I know you hate confrontation and what not, but just know that I’m willing to swing a few punches on your behalf.”

 

“Violence solves nothing.” Zayn laughed.

 

“Some fuckboys need a few slaps to get their heads out of their asses.”  Harry shrugged. Zayn laughed and shook his head.

 

“I’m hungry,” Zayn said and got up from his bed. “Let’s go get dinner before the cafeteria closes.”

 

**

 

 

Zayn was completely absorbed in a world of steamed milk and intricate leaf designs as he prepared a latte for a customer, that he didn't hear the door open or the new customer approach the counter. He heard a small gasp but paid it no mind.

 

"Hi, what can I get for you today sir?" Alexa's voice was strangely high and dripping with charm. 

 

"I'll have a medium sized Americano and that cutie back there in the glasses." 

 

Zayn's hand froze as the voice drifted to his ears and he recognized the deep thrum of it. He turned around, and to his thrilling surprise, he saw Liam on the other side of the counter. He was in a black dress shirt that hugged his muscular torso deliciously and black dress pants. He was clearly dressed for work and Zayn wondered what he was doing here. Liam had a teasing grin on his face and he winked at Zayn which made him flush crimson. Alexa was shooting him a confused look which promoted Zayn to move forward.

 

"Oh, don't worry, he's um, he's my boyfriend... not some strange man who tries to purchase people from coffee shops," Zayn explained with a flush spreading throughout his body.

 

"But who's to say that I don't?" Liam said with a sly smile. 

 

"You're telling me that your boyfriend is Liam Payne?" Alexa asked in surprise.

 

"Yeah?" Zayn replied slowly.

 

"Wow. Well done." She gave an appreciative laugh.

 

Liam leaned against the counter and smiled at Alexa, then gave Zayn a sparkling grin. Zayn shuffled forward and rested his hand on Liam's arm.

 

"Hi," Zayn whispered.

 

"Hi baby," Liam replied and leaned forward with a tilt of his head to kiss Zayn’s temple. Zayn noticed Alexa watching him and moved back a little.

 

"I'll make you your coffee," Zayn told Liam. He then moved over to the coffee machines to prepare Liam's drink.

 

"Have a minute to spare?" Liam asked him.

 

"Uh... my break is in 15 minutes," Zayn said as he brought over Liam's coffee.

 

"You can take it now. We're not busy and Sam won't mind," Alexa offered.

 

"A-are you sure?" Zayn asked worriedly. He didn't want to get in trouble for going on his break ahead of time. The manager, Sam, was really chill and she made them feel super comfortable. But Zayn still worried about making her upset so early in acquiring this job.

 

"Yeah. Go spend time with your hot boyfriend. We won't collapse," Alexa joked which caused Liam to chuckle.

 

"Alright." Zayn smiled at her and stared to take his apron off.

 

"Could you add a berry tea lemonade and chocolate chip muffin for my gorgeous boyfriend? He always raves about how good your food is," Liam said with a grin. Alexa nodded with a smile and punched the items in. Zayn ignored them in favor of controlling his blush. Then he came around the side door to the front of the counter as Liam tapped his credit card to pay for the food. 

 

As Alexa disappeared to make Zayn’s lemonade, Liam turned around to greet Zayn. He grabbed his hand and tugged him forward so Zayn fell into his arms.

 

"What are you doing here?" Zayn smiled up at Liam.

 

"I wanted to surprise you," Liam said and kissed his forehead. 

 

"A wonderful surprise," Zayn murmured. He wrapped his arms around Liam's stomach and sank into the embrace as the man carded fingers through his hair. Alexa returned with Zayn’s drink and muffin which Liam accepted with a charming smile that had her blink a few times. Zayn took Liam’s hand and led him over to his favorite table in a secluded corner in the back. Liam settled into the booth seat and Zayn sat down beside him. 

 

"You have chocolate on your hand." Liam laughed and picked up his hand. He pressed the side of Zayn’s hand to his mouth and kissed the chocolate off.

 

"Well when you work in a cafe that's bound to happen." Zayn smiled brightly at Liam who pressed a fond kiss to his lips. 

 

"Must say, I really like it. You not only make a great Americano but I also get to lick chocolate off of you which is a major plus." Liam rubbed his thumb across Zayn’s bottom lip causing him to flush. Liam smiled at his reaction and leaned in to peck him on the lips.

 

"Well when I go home with spilt milk on me and have my entire body smelling strongly of coffee beans, it's not so fun." Zayn sighed.

 

"My poor baby." Liam kissed Zayn’s temple and pulled him into his side with an arm around his waist. Zayn smiled and relaxed into Liam's side with his head on his shoulder. 

 

"Do you not like it here?" Liam asked.

 

"I do," Zayn answered as he crumbled bits of his muffin and chewed on it slowly. "It can be tiring sometimes but what job isn't? Especially food service. I have to stick it out."

 

"My love if you don't like it, you can just quit and focus on school. I can give you any money you need without a problem," Liam said.

 

"Thank you, Li. But I can't do that. I told you before but I really can't take money from other people. I know you mean well, but I have to do this job. And it's not that bad. I actually like it," Zayn replied.

 

"As long as you're happy." Liam kissed his head and Zayn smiled up at him.

 

"I love you. And thank you for coming out here. I was thinking about you all day and I guess God really wanted me to stop pining in my head so he sent you." Zayn grinned.

 

"You're cute." Liam laughed and kissed him. "I love you too and miss you whenever we're apart. So, I thought I would take a quick detour after my meeting to come see you."

 

"I know. I miss you every second of every day." Zayn pouted sadly and curled his arms through Liam's to hold onto him and tucked his face into his shoulder. He was blinking his eyes tiredly when he spotted someone watching them from another table, across the cafe. Zayn’s blood ran cold as he realized it was Jason. He had his laptop open in front of him and a few books beside him, but paid the books no attention. He was sipping his coffee and just gazing at Zayn and Liam.

 

Zayn instinctively clutched more tightly to Liam and looked away from Jason's probing stare. He wanted to scream and ask the guy what he wanted and why he kept showing up at this café, when there were a couple dozen around campus. He was free to go wherever he pleased but Zayn did not take lightly to the fact that he kept showing up to this cafe. As if seeing him in class wasn’t enough.

 

"What's wrong baby?" Liam asked. 

 

"Nothing," Zayn answered quickly and leaned up to kiss Liam. The man cupped his face gently and returned the kiss. 

 

"You seemed a little tense suddenly." Liam stroked his face softly and looked at him for an answer.

 

"Nothing really. Just wondering if it was time to head back to work," Zayn said

 

"Do you know that guy?" Liam nodded his head in Jason's direction with a raised brow. Jason was looking back towards his textbooks again.

 

"Oh umm... he's in my class... I've seen him around," Zayn stammered. His heart rate was shooting through the roof at that point.

 

"Well dude keeps looking over here and I was seriously about to ask him what his problem is." Liam narrowed his eyes. 

 

"It's probably just because he recognized you and then saw me and was surprised or something," Zayn offered anxiously. He had no idea why he was anxious. He hated Jason and his strange behavior. Maybe he should just tell Liam everything and let him set the guy straight. But that would cause problems and just the idea of confrontation was worrying him.

  

"Well as long as his strange looks aren't directed to you alone because I will knock him out. Just like I would do to anyone else who was trying to cause trouble for you," Liam said and kissed his cheek.

 

"No, no… it's not… he's not," Zayn replied quickly. 

 

Liam hummed and tipped Zayn’s face up by the chin to leave a long, passion-filled kiss on his lips. Zayn sighed and melted into it as their lips aligned perfectly. There was a perfect rhythm between their lips and Liam nipped his lower one slightly before pulling back with a smile.

 

"Before I forget. I'm organizing a charity football game for this weekend. I've got many of my old teammates on board, a bunch of my football clients from RED. And then I've asked many others to participate as well. There's ticket sales and donations as well. All proceeds go to the children's hospital. It's going to be a fun day. But there will be media coverage and I know you don't really like that. Would you still want to come? I can get you into the private VIP section and make sure you don't get photographed," Liam said.

 

"That's awesome, jaan. And I will definitely come support you. We can figure out the publicity stuff but I want to watch you play."  Zayn smiled enthusiastically.

 

"Awesome. I really want you there." Liam grinned and leaned forward to kiss Zayn’s scrunched nose then sprinkled tiny kisses up to his forehead.

 

"Mmm. Have I ever told you how much I love it when you kiss my forehead or nose? Like nothing beats being kissed on the lips because you take my breath away, quite literally. But the way you kiss my forehead or nose... it's so gentle and just pure. There's no raging passion, but just love and ... it shows me how much you love me... is that stupid?" Zayn finished off with a blush on his cheeks.

 

Liam was gazing at him like he had hung the moon or something and that look of pure adoration made his heart thump dangerously.

 

"No, my love. It isn't." Liam kissed his forehead and left his lips to linger there. "You're quite possibly made of the purest stuff this universe has to offer. I love you. And I love kissing you whether it's your sweet lips that drive me insane. Or anywhere else on your face or body. When you're you, Zayn, _my_ Zayn, it's hard not to be kissing you every second." 

 

Zayn flushed and buried his face into Liam's shoulder only to have the man kiss the top of his head, while stroking his hair. 

 

"And unfortunately, I have to get back to work." Liam's tone was apologetic as he drained the rest of his coffee.

 

"Noooo." Zayn sighed sadly and moved back to gaze at Liam. "Please don't go." Zayn knew it was a ridiculous statement since his own break was over in a few minutes and Liam was probably very busy, but it pained him to let go of Liam whenever they had to part.

 

"I'm sorry sweetheart. I have a lot of work at the office. But how about we do something tonight, like go watch a movie?" Liam suggested.

 

"Okay," Zayn mumbled. Liam smiled at him and cupped his face to kiss his forehead. 

He then got up from the table and took Zayn’s hand as they walked to the door of the cafe. As they passed by Jason, Zayn felt his heart rate go out of balance again as Jason looked him over. Liam moved to the other side of Zayn, nearer Jason, and gave him a questioning, cold glare. It had Jason turn back to his books. 

 

"Have a good rest of your shift my love. And I'll see you later okay?" Liam said as they came to a stop in front of the door.

 

"Okay. Call me later about plans for tonight." Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam to hug him tightly and the man responded similarly. He tilted Zayn’s face up to kiss him for a few moments longer.

 

"I'll see you soon angel," Liam whispered into his ear as he pressed kisses to the side of his head. Zayn nodded and moved back with a smile, only to catch sight of Jason watching them, irritation flashing over his face.

 

Liam had turned around to leave when Zayn grabbed his arm and kissed him hurriedly again. Liam grabbed him by the hips in reflex and kissed back just as fervently. But he slowed it down after a few moments and Zayn blushed in embarrassment, realizing he was in his workplace.

 

"What was that for?" Liam asked humorously.

 

"Nothing. I'll just miss you," Zayn answered in a soft voice.

 

"I'll miss you too. Like you don't even know." Liam caught his lips in one last kiss and squeezed his slighter form in his arms before moving back. "Bye baby." 

 

He pressed a kiss to Zayn’s forehead then walked out the door with a final smile. Zayn waved at him and smiled back, although his heart felt like it was sinking. When Liam disappeared from view, he turned to get back to his job behind the counter, and passed by Jason coincidentally.

 

 

"He's a lucky guy," Jason murmured, barely comprehensible, as Zayn passed.

 

Zayn paused for a second then quickened his pace and rushed to the back kitchen without a glance at Jason. 

 

 

**

 

 

“I’m gonna miss you bubba. I’m gonna miss you so, so, so much.”

 

Liam grinned with raging affection as he watched Zayn say goodbye to Ray. He was leaning against the marble pillar at the entrance of the living room as Zayn sat on the carpet hugging the kitten fiercely and peppering it with kisses.

 

“Zayn, you might squash him to death.” Liam chuckled.

 

“No I would never do that because I love him so much. Don’t I Ray?” Zayn cooed at the kitten and kissed his head. Ray was purring contentedly and licking his small paw as he savored the attention Zayn showered him with.

 

“Do I have to be jealous of a kitten?” Liam kneeled behind Zayn and wrapped his arms around him. Zayn tilted his head back and smiled teasingly before kissing Liam’s cheek.

 

“I’m sorry jaan but he’s just more cuter.” Zayn giggled and Liam bit his neck jokingly.

 

“I’m extremely offended. One of the new interns at RED said she found my picture with Ray very cute.” Liam smirked slightly.

 

Zayn snapped his head back and looked slightly annoyed. “Well she should go invest in a cat of her own if she likes cute things and stop trying to flirt with _my_ man while talking about _my_ kitten.”

 

“Damn baby who has the claws? You or Ray?” Liam laughed and kissed the top of Zayn’s head before standing up.

 

“Me.” Zayn grinned and set Ray down on the fluffy bed they had purchased for him.

 

“We have to get going, the movie will start soon,” Liam reminded Zayn as he grabbed his keys and wallet.

 

“But you booked off an entire theatre so it’s not like we have to go early to grab good seats,” Zayn replied with a smile. He put a few toys beside Ray and kissed his head one more time.

 

“Alright smartass, we still have to go. Ray will be fine. Mary will come up to watch him and he’s pretty much going to be asleep anyways.” Liam came over to Zayn to grab his hand.

 

“I know. I’m just going to miss him.” Zayn sighed dejectedly and stroked Ray’s back one more time before getting up. “Can I come over after my class tomorrow to see him?”

 

“Baby,” Liam said and pulled Zayn closer. “You know you don’t have to ask me. You can come over whenever you like, even if I’m not home.”

 

“I know. I’m just awkward at that kind of stuff because it is your place and I just like to make sure I have permission,” Zayn mumbled into his chest.

 

 

“Don’t be silly. This is your place too especially now that we co-own a kitten.” Liam nuzzled his face into the top of Zayn’s fluffy hair and kissed him there.

 

“That… that’s really sweet jaan. Thank you,” Zayn whispered. He leaned up on his toes to peck Liam’s lips. An idea clicked in Liam’s mind which would for sure take away Zayn’s hesitations, but he knew he couldn’t mention it until he carried it out. If Zayn felt awkward about coming over without permission, Liam would make sure he made a gesture to ensure that the boy realized this was his home in a way too. Even if he didn’t live here full time. But Liam loved Zayn infinitely and unconditionally which determined the fact that he was his forever. Like a simple fact, Liam knew that one day he would ask Zayn to move in full time. The boy needed this year to live in his dorm and get the full freshman experience. But when he had to move out, Liam would just ask him to move in here. And then there was his house outside the city which he had envisioned for his future and now he saw Zayn in it too. For now, Zayn needed to feel comfortable with coming in and out of this place on his own and Liam had a few ideas.

 

“Should we go?” Zayn asked.

 

“Let’s go.” Liam smiled and tugged him in for a kiss which made Zayn giggle. Then they left with Zayn calling out a parting goodbye to Ray.

 

 

 

**

 

 

“Do you want to come up and see my dorm room?”

 

They were pulled up outside Zayn’s residence hall and once again Zayn was having difficulty parting with Liam. What he really wanted, was to be at Liam’s place, asleep in his bed and wrapped in his arms. But right now, he could make the most of the situation and have Liam up in his dorm room for a while.

 

“I thought you were trying to hide us dating from your new friends?” Liam asked with a raised brow. He pushed Zayn’s fringe off his forehead and pecked it.

 

“Yeah but Harry and my new friend Louis are both studying together at some café nearby and they won’t be back for an hour.” Zayn knew someone in the dorm could still see Liam, but he was becoming less afraid of that especially since Liam had been at the café earlier too. And truthfully, he didn’t mind if people knew he was Liam’s and Liam’s was his. The only awkward situation he was in was with Louis and he wasn’t there at the moment so it was all good.

 

“Alright. I don’t mind. Let me see where you spend your nights dreaming about me,” Liam joked.

 

“Mhm. And also when those dreams get so vivid that I need to find some release,” Zayn whispered and noticed Liam’s eyes darken.

 

“You play a dangerous game baby boy.” Liam smirked and leaned over to kiss him. Zayn laughed and directed him to a visitors parking where Liam could pull into. Then they walked into the building where there were a few people loitering in the lobby. Zayn noticed a few of them stare their way with some hint of recognition, so he quickly pulled Liam towards the stairs and they walked up to the fifth floor. Zayn unlocked his room door and let Liam in, then shut the door behind himself. Liam looked around the room and laughed when he saw Harry’s wall that was overpopulated with posters

 

“Let me guess, that side is Harrys?” Liam grinned and walked over to Zayn’s more neater side. He had kept his decorations minimal with grey and white bedspreads, his books lined neatly along his shelves and a few candles. He had the Afreen Afreen painting Liam had gifted him on his wall, a small Game of Thrones ‘Stark’ banner draped on the front of his desk and his Marvel and DC superhero toys lined on his desk. Basically, his minimal decorations were treasured trinkets or pieces he had brought from home and they made this room feel more homely. He had also started a small collage of polaroid photos over his desk which he was building up slowly.

 

“I love it,” Liam said. There was a small click and Zayn turned around to see that Liam had taken his picture with the polaroid camera.

 

“Jaan,” Zayn groaned and tugged it from him. He pushed Liam back onto his bed and straddled him with a smile.

 

“Imagine a time without sexting when people took polaroids and mailed them to each other.” Liam grinned devilishly and ran his hand up Zayn’s thigh.

 

“It’s more daring,” Zayn said with a smile. He held up the camera and took Liam’s picture as the man smirked at him. Zayn’s heart flipped as he looked at Liam’s heart-breakingly beautiful smile.

 

“It’s not fair how attractive you are. You’re sexy and handsome and just gorgeous,” Zayn mumbled with a slight bush. He pushed Liam’s shirt up his chest as the man laughed and he took another picture.

 

“For later,” Zayn smiled and tucked the pictures under his pillow.

 

“We can do better.” Liam tugged him down as Zayn gasped. Liam took the camera with one hand and wrapped Zayn in his other arm. He swooped in to capture Zayn’s lips in a kiss which made Zayn moan loudly. Liam’s hand ran under his shirt and tickled along his spine. Zayn sighed and arched forward. He distantly heard a click but he paid it no mind as Liam ran his tongue along his in a sinful manner. Zayn ran his hands into Liam’s hair and breathed out a whimper as Liam started sucking on his neck. Another click went off and then Liam pinned him down on the bed to climb on top of him. Liam ran his fingers along the edge of Zayn’s swollen mouth and pushed his finger in which Zayn sucked on shamelessly. He heard another click and he opened his eyes to see Liam grinning at him.

 

“This last one is just for me,” Liam murmured. He waved it for a few seconds and Zayn leaned up to look at it. His cheeks burned as he saw how desperate he looked in the picture. His clothes were rumpled, his purple NYU jumper pushed up halfway, his hair messy and his mouth wrapped around Liam’s fingers.

 

“You’re just the sexiest little thing baby boy,” Liam whispered and kissed him again. Zayn blushed and looked at the other pictures which were of the both of them moulded together, kissing passionately.

 

“Can I keep these ones?” Zayn asked. Liam nodded and kissed him with another smile. “Your angles are good even though we were kissing. I’m guessing this isn’t your first time with… somewhat adult photography,” Zayn muttered.

 

“Adult photography,” Liam snorted with laughter. “You can say that.” His eyes sparkled and Zayn flushed thinking of Liam doing more than taking sexy polaroids with other people.

 

Zayn huffed and pushed Liam to lie back against the bed so that he could roll on top and lie on his chest. Liam’s arms came up to wrap around him as Zayn got comfortable and nuzzled his face into the man’s chest.

 

“I could just stay right here forever,” Zayn mumbled tiredly.

 

“Hmm. But unfortunately, I can’t spend the night here,” Liam said and rubbed his back.

 

“Just stay for a little longer until I start to fall asleep and then you can leave. Harry might be back by then anyways,” Zayn yawned into Liam’s chest.

 

“So, I’m just here as a pillow?” Liam teased.

 

“Nooo. I just want to stay in your arms a little longer,” Zayn murmured. Liam leaned down and kissed his forehead in reply. “Do you wonder if maybe we had gone to college at the same time and met in NYU as students?” Zayn asked.

 

“Hmm. Well I’d be in the Alpha Phi Delta frat like I was then too and if you were here, there would be less of a chance of us running into each other. But I think-” Liam squeezed him gently and kissed his forehead. “-if I had seen you just studying on campus, in the library or even working in your café, I would have been smitten just like I was in your school library. Your pretty eyes would draw me in and take me prisoner even then.”

 

Zayn smiled and trailed his fingers over the ‘Zayn’ tattoo on Liam’s wrist. “Would you have fallen in love with me then too or just wanted sex?” Zayn asked.

 

“Angel I was destined to fall in love with you. You could have met me anywhere, at any time in my life, in any universe, and I would have fallen just as hard and fast for you as I did now. You were meant to be my entire world.” Liam pressed loving kisses across the top of his head and Zayn smiled.

 

“Destiny is a funny thing. We could go our whole lives following different paths to someone else. But if they’re our soulmate, we’re bound to meet them no matter what. And even in the funniest of circumstances, like in my high school library of all places and then by an even bigger coincidence have my name get drawn so I could come work for you and we could fall in love.” Zayn sighed and he felt Liam shake a little under him. When he looked up, the man was trying hard not to laugh.

 

“About that. That draw… you and Harry didn’t both just get drawn by some sheer coincidence. I lied up there and said your names because I needed to see you again and I knew you’d never come work for me unless Harry was with you.” Liam shrugged. Zayn felt like he was dreaming as he listened to Liam’s explanation. That could not be possible. Liam had read the names and then said his and Harry’s names. They had won the draw as far as he remembered.

 

“What?” Zayn asked slowly.

 

“I’m really sorry if you thought you landed at RED out of luck and destiny and all, but it was sort of manufactured by me. I read some other names but straight away said your names because I wanted you there. So really… I’m the destiny that brought us together,” Liam joked.

 

“Liam!” Zayn smacked him. “You took away the opportunity to work at RED from some poor kids who were really excited about it!”

 

“Baby! That lie got you to come work at RED and we ended up here. With this love. I have you, my angel, the love of my life, and that would never have happened if I didn’t get you to RED,” Liam explained.

 

“We could have still met,” Zayn said weakly. Although he knew that wasn’t true. He had been so painfully shy near Liam at that point, that being pushed to go to RED and having to interact with him made him open up to the man. If he hadn’t gotten drawn and had just had that one meeting with Liam at the school, he would have done nothing more than the completely embarrassing things he did like think Liam was James or spill the coffee in Harry’s parent’s café.

 

“You see, without that lie, I would never have gotten to see you again bambi eyes,” Liam whispered and kissed him lightly. “I’m proud of what I did because it gave me you. I have zero regrets.”

“Silly man,” Zayn whispered and cupped Liam’s face to kiss him. “Your silly lie gave me the love of my life. So, I can’t hold it against you.”

“Sometimes destiny needs a little intervening.” Liam laughed and sprinkled kisses all over his face. Zayn smiled and tucked himself back against Liam’s chest. He held onto the man’s hand tightly and closed his eyes as he soaked in the new information with a fierce smile on his face. Liam had been going above and beyond for him way back when they hadn’t even known each other and had just met. It wasn’t humanly possible to love someone this much, but he did. He loved Liam more than the particles in his body were capable of.

 

“I love you,” Zayn murmured.

 

“Love you too angel,” Liam said and kissed the top of his head.

 

Zayn yawned and started to get comfortable again, nestled comfortably on Liam’s chest. Liam was rubbing his back under his jumper and checking his phone with his other hand. Zayn was feeling content as he listened to Liam’s heartbeat from on top of his chest and clutched a fistful of his shirt. He was just starting to doze off a little bit, when the door was kicked open.

 

“... hash cupcakes are better than hash brownies and that is confirmed, you can’t fight me on that!” Louis’ voice was saying.

 

“yeah but- Zay!” Harry stopped in the doorway and his eyes widened in amusement when he saw Zayn and Liam on Zayn’s bed.

 

“Move it Styles-“ Louis had just pushed his way in and when he saw what Harry had seen, he froze completely. The pile of books in his hands dropped to the floor and he continued to stand there, wide eyed and silent.

 

Zayn rubbed his eyes tiredly and when he finally registered what was happening, he stiffened in Liam’s arms. This was not supposed to happen right now. In fact, these two weren’t supposed to be home for another half hour. But of course, his bad luck wanted to laugh in his face for wanting to spend time with Liam. He slowly got off Liam, trying to think of what to say.

 

“Hi Liam.” Harry cracked the silence first with a grin.

 

“It’s been a while Harold. How’s life?” Liam asked. Of course, he was oblivious to the big fat joke in the room. The lie Zayn had told which had come to punch him in the gut a little too soon.

 

“Pretty good.” Harry laughed and hugged Liam who had gotten up from the bed.

 

“Liam… umm, well obviously you know Harry… and that’s my friend Louis,” Zayn stammered slightly.

  

“Hey nice to meet you.” Liam smiled at Louis and put his hand out which Louis just stared at. When Liam raised his eyebrows, Louis slowly put his hand forward and shook it.

 

“N-nice to meet you…” Louis choked out.

 

“Come to squander with us little people, Liam?” Harry asked as he threw his bag onto his bed.

 

“No, apparently just a pillow for Zayn,” Liam joked. When Zayn smacked him lightly, Liam pulled him in to kiss his head. “I have to get going though baby. I have to be up at 5 a.m. tomorrow.”

 

“Yikes.” Zayn smiled and wrapped his arms around Liam to hug him.

 

“Yikes indeed. I’ll call you tomorrow and don’t forget the charity game on Saturday. You can come over on Friday night as well.” Liam squeezed him tightly and ducked his head to kiss along the side of his head. Zayn was well aware of Harry and Louis staring at them, Louis still frozen in shock. Zayn kind of wanted to run away with Liam to avoid the pending conversation.

 

“Okay,” Zayn murmured.

 

Liam tilted his head up and smiled at him. “Sleep well, study well, and just stay well. I love you angel.”

 

Zayn nodded with a smile and Liam caught his lips in a gentle kiss. “Next time I’ll show you angles better than a polaroid camera,” Liam whispered into his ear and gave his ass a light squeeze.

 

When Zayn blushed, Liam gave him one more kiss and backed away with a wink. “Bye baby.”

 

“Bye jaan,” Zayn said with a smile.

 

“See you Harry. Nice meeting you Louis,” Liam gave them brief smiles as well before he walked out the door.

 

“Bye daddy Payne,” Harry called out. Louis stood by Harry’s bed with a pained smile.

 

Liam laughed as the door fell shut behind him. And then there was utter silence for about ten seconds as the three of them stood around the room. Zayn cleared his throat and looked up at Louis who was staring at him with a silent, terrifying expression.

 

“You see Lou-“

 

“You little, lying, scheming, shady, fucking snake!” Louis yelled and pounced on Zayn.

 

Zayn screeched and tried to run away, but the room was so small that there was no place to hide. He tripped and fell on to his bed, only to have Louis jump on him and pin him to the bed.

 

“Lou, I can explain!” Zayn screamed.

 

“Don’t Lou me! And explain what?” Louis bellowed hysterically. “My boyfriend is named James… Harry is Liam Payne’s fan… I don’t care for football…” Louis mimicked Zayn in a high-pitched voice.

 

“I sound nothing like that!” Zayn fought back. Harry was snorting with laughter on his bed.

 

“What are you laughing at curly? You lied as well!” Louis yelled. “I cannot believe this. You two let me ramble on embarrassingly about my daddy fantasy for that man, let me talk about things I’d love to do to him and let him do to me. And all this time, Mr. so-called-innocent Zayn was dating him? How could you let me embarrass myself like that? Even now I stood there like a total ass!”

 

“Lou, I’m sorry. I really am,” Zayn said and tried to wriggle free. “I just… I’m really awkward about these things and I really hate attention. That first day when I saw Liam’s poster on your wall it was such a shock. I thought you were some crazed fan who would only try to talk to me to meet Liam. I didn’t know we’d become friends and then my lie had already been created. I’ve been thinking of ways to tell you but I’m so bad at this stuff. I really am sorry,” Zayn pleaded with him.

 

Louis stared at him for a few seconds then sighed and rolled off to lay down beside Zayn. “It’s okay. I mean… truthfully… if I was dating a celebrity figure I wouldn’t be blurting it out to strangers, especially not lunatics who have my boyfriend’s poster on their wall and call him daddy. Oh God… I’m so embarrassed. That’s your boyfriend.” Louis hid his face in his hands and groaned.

 

Zayn smiled and patted his arm sympathetically. “It’s okay Lou. I’m sorry for lying.”

 

“And hey, if it’s any consolation, Zayn calls him daddy too,” Harry snickered.

 

“Harry!” Zayn yelled in outrage. Harry was laughing manically and Louis was looking at him in surprise then he started cackling too.

 

“I knew you weren’t vanilla.” Louis cracked up. “And I don’t blame you. I’d be screaming daddy as well if I were in bed with that man.”

 

“That’s my boyfriend Lou,” Zayn pointed out.

  

“I know. I have to get my revenge for all the embarrassment you put me through.” Louis gave an evil grin.

 

“I hate both of you. I need new friends,” Zayn mumbled and covered his face with a pillow.

 

“So, you’re the mystery bambi eyes person from his Instagram?” Louis questioned.

 

“Yeah… that’s a nickname Liam made up. He called me that on the first day we met.” Zayn smiled in memory of the day.

 

“No, but seriously...” Louis pulled the pillow off Zayn and grinned at him. “This is a rare sort of situation. It’s not common for someone to come across the person that their celebrity crush is dating and get access to information. So, tell me... what’s he like?”

 

“He’s the most wonderful man I know,” Zayn answered with a warm smile.

 

“Oh, I’m telling Yaser that,” Harry gasped.

 

“Other than Baba you dumbass.” Zayn tossed a cushion at Harry.

 

“Okay yeah, I don’t need the PG Barney and Friends version. I need the juicy stuff. Is the ten inch Payne thing accurate?” Louis grinned wickedly.

 

“Louis! You can’t ask me that!” Zayn slapped his head and Louis laughed.

 

“Fine Grandma. But how is the sex?” Louis asked.

  

Zayn sighed and looked at Louis with a blank expression for a few moments. When Louis just stared back, Zayn rolled his eyes. “Better than you can even imagine in your wildest dreams. Granted I have nothing to compare it to, but he’s ruined me. In a good way.” Zayn gave Louis a wide smile.

 

“Oh, that’s hot,” Louis groaned with a laugh. “Are you guys just fooling around or… in love?”

 

“Love,” Zayn answered simply. “He’s my everything. And he loves me just as much.”

 

“Just as much? Bitch, he has your name tattooed on his wrist,” Harry snorted.

 

“Really?” Louis gasped.

 

“Yeah. He’s… he’s amazing. He makes me feel… like I’m worth more than anything in this world. I don’t know why, but he does. And I can’t live without him. He’s my heart and soul,” Zayn answered softly.

 

“That’s sweet.” Louis smiled and squeezed Zayn’s hand. “We haven’t known each other for a long time, but you’re already one of the best people I know. You have such a good, pure heart. If anyone deserves such honest love, it’s you.”

 

“You... you’re not mad?” Zayn asked tentatively. “I mean… you’ve had your crush on Liam for years and I didn’t even know who he was until I met him a few months back. Are you... okay with that?”

 

“Zayn.” Louis laughed. “Are you seriously asking me if I’m okay with you dating your boyfriend who you love and who loves you? Are you serious?”

 

“I know… I just… it’s silly but… you know,” Zayn mumbled.

 

“Zee…” Louis hugged him tightly. “Don’t be stupid. I don’t care. I’m happy for you.  And even if I, for some wild reason, did have a problem, you shouldn’t care. That’s the love of your life. No one has a right to be with him other than you. As long as you two want each other and love each other.”

 

“You’re right. Thanks Lou.” Zayn hugged him back tightly and smiled.

 

“Now the biggest question… how in God’s name… did you meet Liam Payne… and bag him? Louis asked.

 

“Well… back in June he came to our high school to announce a scholarship program and an internship where he would draw two names from a raffle and those two people would work for him for the summer. I met him in the library before that assembly where I had no idea who he was and he lied to me calling himself James. He was being all flirty and I was acting like a dumbass. Then in the raffle, Harry and I got picked to intern at his company RED. Which, by the way Haz, did you know that Liam lied and said our names? We didn’t actually win,” Zayn said.

 

“Oh…” Harry smiled awkwardly. “I already knew.”

 

“What? How?” Zayn asked suspiciously.

 

“Remember the night you got drunk for the first time at the club and called Liam your boyfriend? And on the way back in the car you were trying to get him to fuck you and calling him daddy?” Harry smirked.

 

“Get to the point,” Zayn said in embarrassment.

 

“He told me that night in the car but asked me not to tell you because he wanted to tell you himself,” Harry replied.

 

“Wow. Do you realize, that all this time I was thinking that everything this summer happened because of sheer luck and destiny when Liam technically orchestrated it?” Zayn said.

 

“I am so lost. Explain this from the beginning.” Louis made himself comfortable on Zayn’s bed and waited for them to tell the story.

 

“Once upon a time there was a sexy ass sugar daddy named Liam Payne, and an oblivious little Zaynie…” Harry began.

 

“Shut up Haz.” Zayn glared at him. “So that day Liam came to our school…”

 

 

 

**

 

 

“The budget for phase one of the construction has been approved and soon enough you’re going to have to go down there to finalize the proofs and sign off on the paperwork. The contracts for the Smith contractors have been pushed through and we’re thinking of doing the task force meeting in Vegas. Location wise and all.”

 

Liam nodded and sipped his drink. He ran his fingers over the blueprints laid out in front of him. He was at a lunch meeting with a few of the team members on board for the new Vegas project, which included Niall as well. They were sat in a private room at the back of a restaurant having drinks and lunch while going over the first draft blueprints they had for the casino and club.

 

“We can set a date for late next week sometime because I have to go to London before that too. It’ll probably be a day or two for me to handle some business there and then I can head over to Vegas,” Liam said.

 

“We need to clear off dates for at least a week, probably two, to be on location in Vegas, because there’s so much we have to take care of there. Phase one is the grunt work,” Niall announced.

 

“I know,” Liam replied. The initial plans for the new casino and club in Vegas were coming along pretty well. It was endless work loaded with stress, but Liam felt good about it because his dream project was coming to life. But in the coming week he would have to leave for Vegas and possibly stay there for two or even three weeks. There was a lot of work take care of there and he needed to be present for much of phase one taking off. It was all fine, but the only thing nagging his mind was being without Zayn for such a long period of time. It wouldn’t be possible for Zayn to come along with his classes and work at the cafe. For the first time in their relationship, he would have to be apart from Zayn for a few weeks and it seemed impossible already.

 

“And Mr. Payne we need to set up a meeting with the gaming commission while we’re there,” Katie, one of his team members, said.

 

“Ameera is on that,” Liam answered. “These look pretty good and I think we’re all set to fly out soon and kick start phase one.”

 

“It’s going to be big.” Niall smiled at him and Liam grinned back.

  

“I have to run to the men’s room. I’ll be back.” Liam pushed out of his seat and left the room to head towards the bathrooms. When he finished and was turning the corner to head back, he bumped into a body. “Excuse me- Emilia?” Liam stared at the brunette woman as he steadied her.

 

“Liam, oh my God.” Emilia smiled at him and hugged him. “How are you?”

 

“I’m good. How have you been though?” Liam took her hand and led her over to the bar. “I ran into that prick you called a fiancé at my club.”

 

“Oh boy. What did he do?” Emilia sighed.

 

“Talked a lot of crap. Almost made me break his face. He keeps making ugly threats towards me... and Zayn. Me, I can handle because I know I’m capable of putting him in his place. When he talks about Zayn I lose my cool.” Liam’s jaw clenched in anger just thinking about Max.

 

“He’s…” Emilia sighed. “You know I left him, right? He umm… he hit me. I found out he was cheating on me and when I confronted him and we got into a fight, he hit me.”

 

“Emilia,” Liam murmured. He pulled her into a hug and kissed her head. “Max is scum. He’s absolute filth and I want to kill him for touching you.”

 

“I should have listened to you...and I should have listened to my friends. They had heard about his reputation… but I loved him.” She shrugged her shoulders and gave a small smile.

 

“It’s not your fault. It’s his fault. For being the pig that he is. I’m so glad you walked away Emilia.” Liam rubbed her back soothingly. “Max doesn’t deserve you. Max doesn’t deserve anyone. And I’m glad you’re safe now. If you need anything, and I mean anything. I’m always a phone call away. Okay?”

 

“Thanks Li.” Emilia touched his face gently and leaned in to kiss his cheek. “But you need to be careful too. Max is… he has some unresolved issues with you and you know he takes things way too personally. When I said that I should have listened to you all along, he got really angry. Please be careful. I’ve now realized he’s capable of anything. And tell Zayn to be careful too.”

 

“Don’t worry. I will. If he touched Zayn, he’d be a dead man,” Liam said, feeling anger rising at a quick pace for how disgusting Max was.

 

 “Zayn’s lucky to have someone like you.” Emilia smiled and rubbed his arm.

 

“I’m lucky to have him,” Liam corrected.

 

“That too.” Emilia laughed. “I have to get back to my friends but we should get together for drinks or dinner sometime. These past two meetings have been fleeting and full of talk about Max. I want to know how you’ve been.”

 

“Yeah, of course. Just text me whenever okay?” Liam gave her another hug and she kissed his cheek.

 

“Will do Li. Take care.” She walked away with a smile and Liam turned back towards the room where he had been having lunch. Once again, because of Max, he was left annoyed and rattled with blossoming anger. He was angry that Max had hurt Emilia and he was angry that Max had dared to threaten him and Zayn. He needed to make sure Zayn was more careful because Max clearly wasn’t backing away.

 

 

**

 

 

Why did anxiety always come in waves of nausea and cold sweats? There was nothing worse than the sickening feeling of nausea hitting, while constantly battling with the overwhelming rampage of thoughts bouncing back and forth. Zayn stood, feeling like this, as he tried to calm himself. He wrung his hands as he stared at the grey doorway to the room in the student’s centre where the art club was held. Jason had texted him the details about the time and place that day in the café. So, on a Friday afternoon, Zayn stood in front of the door, trying to build some courage to go in.

 

“I can do this. No big deal. Just some people in an art club.” He took a few deep breaths and pushed the door open to walk in. The room had an open floor plan with high ceilings. It had grey concrete walls and a floor that gave it a cool, dark atmosphere. There were large windows along one side, letting in natural sunlight, which looked out into a courtyard. The walls were covered in incredible pieces of art. Zayn felt breathless just staring at them. There were easels and workstations set up all over the room and an abundance of art supplies around the room. There were only three other people in there at the moment. One was working on a clay sculpture, the other two were sat at easels. Zayn didn’t know what he should be doing when he felt a hand on his back.

 

“I’m glad you came.”

 

Zayn flinched and turned around to see Jason. He had his sleeves rolled up and his hands were covered in charcoal, a pencil tucked behind his ear. He was smoking and giving Zayn a lazy grin.

 

“Uh… to be honest I don’t know what I’m doing here. This is amazing… and I’m… I don’t even know where to start.” Zayn adjusted his glasses and looked around the room contemplatively.

  

“Relax Zayn. I told you that this is just a chilled out, relaxed environment. You can come in as you please, although in the times that the room is open. We used to leave it unlocked 24/7 but then some pieces were stolen. And you just come in, the supplies are free, and you… make art.” Jason waved around the room and smiled.

 

“Okay…” Zayn said.

 

“You paint?” Jason asked.

 

“A little,” Zayn replied.

 

“Come here.” Jason nodded towards a blank canvas that was set up on an easel. He picked up a paintbrush and turned towards Zayn. He lifted Zayn’s hand which made the latter stiffen up. Jason just smiled and set the brush into Zayn’s hand.

 

“Paint whatever you like. I’m serious. Go nuts.” Jason motioned towards the canvas. Zayn stepped forward hesitantly and stared at the blank space. He was hyper aware of Jason’s presence and knew for certain he would never be able to relax enough to make art if he stood here. From now on, he would try to come when Jason wasn’t around.

 

“Okay. Thanks. Can I umm… I can only work in private,” Zayn said.

 

“Sure.” Jason turned to leave but then he stopped. “You got a little…” He lifted his hand and brushed his thumb across Zayn’s bottom lip. Zayn flinched back so suddenly that he almost fell over. Jason grabbed him to make him steady and grinned at him.

 

“Relax. It was just some chocolate.” Jason put the edge of his thumb into his mouth and licked the bit of chocolate off. He gave Zayn a small smirk and walked away. Zayn wanted to hurl something at his back but instead watched with a nauseated feeling as Jason settled back in front of a charcoal sketch.

 

He just took a deep breath and turned back to the empty canvas. With the mix of emotions he was feeling because of everything, a sudden irritation ripped through his body. He grabbed a tube of red paint and squirted it straight onto the canvas. As it dripped down in thick streams, Zayn smiled.

 

 

**

 

 

 

“Payno!”

 

Liam fell forward with an oomph as someone pushed him from the back. “Miguel, I’m so glad I invited you.” Liam turned around with a sarcastic grin and thumped Miguel on the back.

 

“You love me Li.” Miguel grinned and fell down beside him.

 

Liam was in the locker room getting ready for the charity football game he had organized as the stadium outside started to fill up. The players who had been invited to play, some big NFL stars, some small time ones, were arriving as well. The game was all for fun because of the charity element, so there hadn’t been much of a warm up or practise. Everyone was here to have a good time. Liam had been busy all morning, taking care of last minute things at the location, doing press and greeting the players he had invited. His friends who had come to watch were in the VIP box and Zayn was up there as well. Since Liam had come here early, he had asked Niall to bring him to the stadium. Zayn had also invited his friends Harry and Louis to the game.

 

“I came to wish you good luck. I know you haven’t played professionally in about two years so don’t choke buddy,” Miguel said jokingly.

 

“I’ll remember that.” Liam rolled his eyes.

 

“Okay. I’m gonna head back but there’s someone waiting outside for you. He didn’t want to come in here.” Miguel grinned and got up to leave the locker room.

 

Liam smiled and pulled his jersey on before walking out of the locker room. At the end of the corridor, Zayn was leaning against the wall looking around rather nervously. Liam’s heart tugged at how achingly beautiful Zayn looked even in the simplest of moments. The boy was tugging a hand through his hair and causing his quiff to become disorderly. Liam walked over to him when he wasn’t looking and quickly caged him against the wall with his hands on either side of the wall.

 

“Do you give out good luck kisses to football players, cutie?” Liam whispered.

 

Zayn gasped in surprise, quite taken aback, but when he saw it was Liam he smiled so widely that his eyes crinkled. “Only one,” Zayn said between giggles. “Hi.”

 

“Hi,” Liam replied with a grin. He let his hands drop to Zayn’s slim hips and gripped them as he pressed his lips to Zayn’s to kiss him. Zayn sighed against his lips and Liam licked along the bottom one gently. Zayn tasted intoxicatingly sweet and Liam let out a small groan.

 

“God baby why do you always taste so sweet?” Liam murmured. “How do I concentrate on playing now when all I want to do is continue to kiss you and much more.”

 

“To answer your first question, I had a chocolate and banana smoothie on my way here. And to answer your second question, you just had a taste of these lips and much more in bed this morning.” Zayn grinned at him.

 

“Mmm. I need round two.” Liam ducked and kissed his neck which made Zayn arch into the touch.

 

“You can get round two after the game. Something about you playing football, all sweaty, in this jersey… really gets me turned on,” Zayn whispered while biting his lip.

 

“Fuck baby,” Liam murmured. “And don’t think I didn’t notice your jersey.” Liam ran his hand up Zayn’s side and kissed him. Zayn was wearing one of the jerseys that were being sold outside as part of the charity donations. There were ones with every member’s name and Zayn’s said PAYNE on the back.

 

“I’m a fan,” Zayn answered with a grin. “Now Mr. Payne, I hope you have a good game. And the better you play, the more I’m willing do to do tonight.”

 

Liam stared at him for a few seconds as arousal started to course through his body. He ran a hand down Zayn’s body and squeezed his ass then leaned in to kiss him.

 

“I want you to ride me wearing just that jersey tonight,” Liam whispered in a husky tone.

 

“Will do… daddy.” Zayn kissed him quickly then slipped away from Liam’s arms to walk down the corridor. When he reached the end, he turned around and winked at Liam then walked away with a grin. Liam stared after him in surprise and then broke out into a smile, feeling affection and lust for Zayn burn through his body. With the image of what he could be doing later in mind, he walked back to the locker room.

 

 

**

 

 

Liam’s team was winning. And Zayn’s throat was hoarse from cheering so loudly for the past hour. He was in the VIP box that Liam had reserved, with Niall, Tom, Miguel, Josh, Ameera, Harry and Louis. The two teams had both been playing excellently, but Liam’s team was ahead by a few points. And Liam was playing amazingly. Zayn felt a thrill run through his body as he watched Liam run on the field. He mourned missing the time in Liam’s life when he had played full time, because boy did he love watching him like this.

 

When the last point was made and Liam’s team won, Zayn jumped up along with everyone else and erupted into cheers. Liam’s friends were cheering ‘Payno’ and Zayn couldn’t stop smiling and cheering until his throat gave out. Liam was in the middle of a victory tackle with his team mates on the field and everyone in the stands was cheering. It had been a friendly match, so in the end nobody cared about winning or losing. Players from both teams shook hands and hugged on the field.

 

“They have to do press interviews and it’s going to take some time, especially for Liam since he organized this. We should go, we’ll meet up with him later,” Niall yelled into Zayn’s ear over all the noise.

 

Zayn nodded and relayed the message to Harry and Louis beside, him who got up as well. They all made their way out of their seats and went to their cars in the parking garage. Zayn piled into Niall’s car with Ameera, Harry and Louis while the other boys went in Miguel’s car.

 

“So, Liam has an after party at his place in a few hours and I need to overlook the people setting up and take care of last minute things. You guys coming with now or heading off and coming back later?” Ameera asked.

 

“Coming with now,” Zayn replied.

 

“Well-” Niall started but Ameera smacked his leg.

 

“Don’t snake on me Horan. I need some help so you need to come with me too,” Ameera ordered.

 

“Anything for you, your highness,” Niall joked.

 

“You guys coming?” Zayn asked Harry and Louis.

 

“Are we invited?” Harry questioned playfully.

 

“Of course you are,” Zayn replied.

 

“Oh, then I’m there. A party with some of the biggest NFL stars? It’s like a wet dream.” Louis sighed.

 

“What have I gotten myself into by being friends with you?” Zayn groaned. Everyone else laughed while Louis squeezed his face jokingly.

 

 

**

 

 

It was close to midnight and the party was still in full swing on top of Liam’s roof. The Weeknd was blasting on the speakers, people were drinking, dancing, some were even in the pool. Liam stood behind his rooftop bar making people drinks as part of a joke after Niall had initially dared him to make complex cocktails. The bartender hired for the night had stepped aside to give him space as Liam handled the drinks pretty well.

 

“I’ll keep it simple Payne. Martini with an olive,” Troy, one of his old teammates who had played today, said.

 

“Oh, I can do better than that Troy.” Liam shot him an unamused look and quickly made a martini which he slid over.

 

“How about a screaming orgasm?” Liam looked to the side where a gorgeous woman in a low-cut dress was leaning over the bar. He recognized her as some model from Sports Illustrated. She was rubbing her finger along the rim of her empty glass and looking at Liam with a heavy look which he was fairly accustomed to.

 

“Sure.” Liam smiled at her and began preparing it.

 

When he slid the drink over to her, she looked down at it, then smiled coyly up at him. “Didn’t mean the drink but sure... why not.”

 

Liam raised an eyebrow at her with a small smirk as the guys beside him laughed, and Niall gave a shocked cough. The woman gave him a grin and put the drink to her lips.

 

“Nice one.” Liam laughed. “But sorry. I only give those to one certain person now. A hazel-eyed cutie who owns my heart.”

 

“Tragedy.” The woman hummed and licked her lips.

 

“Quite the opposite actually.” Liam hopped over the bar to the other side. “Sorry.” He smiled at her then made his way through the crowd in search of his hazel-eyed cutie. He had last seen Zayn a while ago talking to his friends near the patio. He had drifted from Liam’s side when too many people were bombarding him to talk. Zayn had looked a little anxious so Liam had let him know that it was okay if he wanted to go downstairs or just hang out with his friends. Zayn had left with a grateful smile to go find Harry.

 

Liam spotted Harry talking to Ameera, and Zayn’s new friend Louis was with them too. He walked over and grabbed Ameera from behind suddenly to scare her. She yelped at first, then seeing that it was Liam, she smacked him in the chest.

 

“Jackass,” Ameera muttered.

 

“I love you too.” Liam kissed her head and gave her a side hug. “Where’s Zayn?”

 

“Where do you think?” Harry said with a laugh.

 

“Ray?” Liam asked with a fond chuckle.

 

“He’s adorable!” Harry cooed.

 

“You’ve always been so rude to Luna and now you bought your own cat?” Ameera asked.

 

“Your cat is the devil reincarnated. Ray is docile and adorable,” Liam retorted.

 

“Oh, whatever hater.” Ameera shoved him lightly and he grinned at her.

 

“Alright I gotta go find my boy.” Liam kissed her cheek. As he was about to leave, he caught Louis’ eye who was looking at him in a rather strange way with a small smile. Liam didn’t know what to make of it so he just grabbed a beer and headed downstairs. There were a few people lounging downstairs, clouded in marijuana smoke, probably wanting to be away from the noise upstairs. Liam made his way to his bedroom, presuming that Zayn would be there to find refuge.

 

Liam pushed open his door and shut it behind himself as he entered. He found Zayn sitting cross legged on the bed with Ray in his lap. He was murmuring to the kitten affectionately as it purred in his lap.

 

“There’s my boys.” Liam smiled and sat down beside Zayn. The raven-haired boy looked up at him with a smile and Liam leaned forward to kiss him.

 

“Sorry I didn’t stay up there. All the people and that atmosphere was triggering my anxiety a little bit so I came down here. Plus, I missed my little baby.” Zayn kissed Ray and stroked his white fur.

 

“That’s alright baby.” Liam kissed his forehead then took Ray into his own hands to kiss the furry little creature. Liam lay down with his head in Zayn’s lap and placed Ray on his chest. Zayn smiled down lovingly at them and started running his fingers through Liam’s hair.

 

“So, I have something for you,” Liam said as he put his finger out for Ray to attach his tiny paws to and play with.

 

“What more could you possibly give me?” Zayn laughed. Liam looked up at Zayn and pinched his chin between his fingers teasingly.

 

“You have no idea baby boy. I could give you this world and more and it still wouldn’t be enough,” Liam murmured. Zayn flushed and ducked his head a little. Liam watched as Zayn’s long lashes fluttered against his cheekbones, creating shadows. He lifted his hand to trace a finger below the boy’s eyes. Zayn looked at him and grasped his hand to kiss Liam’s palm.

  

“What is it?” Zayn asked softly.

 

“The other day you seemed uncertain about coming over here without my permission. I told you angel, this is your place just as much as it is mine. It doesn’t matter if you don’t live here full time. In my eyes this is your home too. And to prove that to you, I have something for you.” Liam got up from the bed and opened his bed-side table to pull out a key he had left there.

 

Zayn was looking at him curiously as Liam turned around. For a heavy moment, Liam just looked at Zayn. Took in his silky raven hair, his beautiful hazel eyes that glinted golden in the sunlight, his perfect pouty red lips, his lithe body, his soft skin. He was so beautiful. And then he thought about Zayn’s heart. His beautiful heart. His kindness, his gentle nature, his intelligence, his witty banter, his sensitivity, his loyalty, his immense talent and creativity. Zayn. The only person on this planet who was the definition of perfect for Liam. His everything. And he would give anything in this world to Zayn, but for now this gesture would be a step closer to reminding Zayn how he was Liam’s forever.

 

“Now this penthouse has security way too high tech for a regular key and you know the elevator code and the code to my main door. But this is the key to get through the door in the lobby downstairs. Gesture’s the same, right?” Liam grinned.

 

“Jaan… I don’t know what to say… thank you,” Zayn whispered.

 

“I love you angel. And I want you to know that without a doubt, this is your home. And one day if, and when, you’re ready, maybe when you’ve moved out of your dorm next year, you can move in here permanently. I love you and I only want to keep going forward into our future with you.” Liam cupped Zayn’s face and kissed him gently on the lips and then all over his face.

  

“I want that. I want that so very much. A future with you is all I want.” Zayn climbed into his lap and hugged him tightly, burying his face into Liam’s neck. Liam squeezed him back and pressed kisses all over the top of Zayn’s head.

 

“There’s more,” Liam said.

 

“Jaan.” Zayn laughed. “I could drown in all this love you shower me with.”

 

“I would never let you drown Zayn. Don’t you remember?” Liam reminded him about the words he had said the day he had asked Zayn out for the very first time in his office.

 

Zayn nodded as his eyes sparkled with love. He kissed Liam then hugged him again. Liam rocked him side to side for a few moments just letting the moment sink in. Then he kissed the side of Zayn’s head and got up from the bed to lead him out the room and around to the other side of the second floor.

 

“So, the other day I was thinking that I have five guest bedrooms that I do absolutely nothing with. And then I had a brilliant idea.” Liam said with a smile as they stopped in front of one of the guest bedrooms.

 

“What?” Zayn asked curiously

 

“A Zayn room,” Liam answered simply. He pushed the door open and led Zayn in by the hand. He turned the lights on and heard Zayn gasp.

 

“Jaan…” Zayn murmured in complete shock. 

 

Liam smiled as he watched Zayn take in the room that he had worked over the past two days to create, with the help of Ameera. He had taken out all the previous furniture from the guest room and redone it. He had chosen this room for its view of the park at the backside of the building that Zayn had always admired. Now there were shelves of art supplies running along one side, a couple of easels with stools, a large desk with a chair in front of the floor to ceiling windows, a seating area on the side with comfy sofas, a brick fireplace with a furry rug and cushions in front of it and lined with some of Zayn’s favourite novels on top. Liam had thought of creating a space for Zayn that was just his in this penthouse. He tried to give it a comfortable, warm vibe which he knew calmed Zayn especially when he was anxious. He had put in all the art supplies because Zayn deserved to have the art corner to create his beautiful pieces. And he had put in the book shelves and a whole bunch of Zayn’s favourite books because he knew Zayn spent most of his free time reading.

 

“Liam. I- I literally…” Zayn turned around with wide eyes and just stared at him. “If I was speechless when you gave me Ray, I don’t know what I am now. Jaan…” Zayn walked forward and folded himself into Liam’s chest. He was shaking a little bit so Liam rubbed his back and kissed along his hairline gently.

 

“I love you. And I wanted you to have your own space over here. Something that was just yours. If you ever want to get away from me or need to be in a calm space that is just yours, you can come in here. That sofa even pulls into a bed if you ever want to sleep away from me. Although there’s four comfortable guest bedrooms for that too.” Liam chuckled.

 

“I will never _ever_ want to sleep away from you. But this… this is so wonderful jaan.” Zayn leaned up and kissed him with heated passion.

 

“There’s also a prayer rug for you on that shelf. I realized that I didn’t have any for you before. And I’m sorry about that. But I was hoping that this room would convince you that this is your home too.” Liam drew Zayn in closer and pressed kisses to his brow.

 

“You’re unreal. I have absolutely no words.” Zayn said with tears in his eyes. He wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and hugged him as tightly as possible. “I love you so fucking much Liam.”  
  
“You can change whatever you want in here or continue to decorate it as you please. I even started a photo wall for you.” Liam pointed to the wall where he had started hanging up photos of Zayn and himself together. Zayn smiled as he touched a picture from Barcelona where they had been lying curled up together on the beach, as Zayn read to Liam from his book. Harry had taken that picture. Most of the wall was left empty for Zayn to fill with pictures of his own choice.

 

“I love you so, so much. You wonderful person,” Zayn whispered. “Sometimes I think to myself that I really don’t deserve you. You’re too good to me. Too good. Thank you.” Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam and started kissing him with a kind of devotion that poured from his heart.

 

“You don’t ever need to thank me angel,” Liam replied softly. He wrapped his arms around Zayn’s waist and lifted him off his feet to kiss him back passionately.

 

“I know there’s a party happening right now. But can we go back to bed and carry out what we talked about earlier?” Zayn asked with a small smile.

 

“Fuck the party.” Liam smirked and nipped his lower lip. Liam grabbed the backs of Zayn’s thighs and prompted him to wrap his legs around Liam’s waist. Zayn continued kissing him as Liam carried him down the hall back to his bedroom. When they got inside they found Ray still on the bed. They looked at each other and started laughing.

 

Zayn hopped down from Liam’s arms and went over to pick Ray up. The kitten was asleep and Zayn kissed his head a few times. “I’m going to take his bed and let him sleep in the guest room,” Zayn said. He walked out of the room with Ray and Liam sprawled back against his bed to wait for Zayn. When the boy returned, he locked the door, and grinned at Liam.

 

“I put Ray there in his bed, left his water and food bowl too. He’s a little lazy ass so he won’t wake up for some time anyways,” Zayn said and walked forward.

 

Liam hummed in acknowledgement and rested his arms behind his head as he dragged his eyes down Zayn’s body. The boy smiled at him, a little nervously, and ran his hand through his hair as it fell onto his eyes. He then unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them off. Liam watched as Zayn stepped out of his jeans and then pushed his briefs off too. The jersey he had been wearing from the game was still on his body and hung just below the curve off his ass. Liam let his eyes run over Zayn’s legs and dropped his hand to his hardening cock to lazily stroke it.

 

“You’re so beautiful,” Liam murmured.

 

Zayn blushed and walked over to the bed slowly. He climbed on top of the bed and straddled Liam. He bit his lip on a smile as he ran his hands down Liam’s chest. He gripped the hem of his shirt and drew it off Liam’s body. When Liam was shirtless, Zayn let out a shaky sigh.

 

“So unfair,” Zayn murmured.

 

“Speak for yourself baby boy,” Liam said. He ran his hand up Zayn’s bare thigh to the back of his body and cupped his ass. When Liam squeezed it, Zayn gasped and arched into the touch.

 

“I want to ride you. But before that…” Zayn popped the button on Liam’s jeans and crawled down, making his intention very clear.

 

“You’re going to kill me.” Liam chuckled and stroked his fingers across Zayn’s cheek.

 

Zayn grinned as he took Liam’s jeans off. When Liam was left in just his briefs, Zayn ducked down and started mouthing along his hardening bulge. Liam groaned and dropped his head back against the headboard. He ran his hand into Zayn’s hair and cupped the back of his head.

 

“I love you,” Zayn whispered in a soft voice. Liam smiled adoringly at him as Zayn hooked his fingers into Liam’s briefs to take them off.

 

 

 

**

 

 

“Look what I found!”

 

Zayn hopped onto the bed holding a carton of ice cream and wearing a bright grin. It was much later that night and everyone from the party had gone home. Zayn and Liam were the only ones left and they had showered and gotten ready for bed. Liam was sitting up in bed wearing just a pair of cotton pajama pants and replying to some emails on his iPad. Zayn was wearing the matching button down shirt to Liam’s bottoms, but open at the front, and a pair of briefs underneath.

 

Liam smiled at the boy as he straddled Liam’s lap and grinned happily. Zayn popped open the carton of ice cream and dug a spoon in. He pulled it out and licked it all off in one bite.

 

“So good!” Zayn moaned. “Heaven is made of Ben and Jerry’s chunky monkey.”

 

Liam laughed and swiped his thumb over Zayn’s lip to wipe some chocolate off. He licked it off his thumb and smiled at Zayn. “You’re practically made of chocolate yourself.”

 

Zayn had paused at the action and something undecipherable flashed in his eyes momentarily. Liam was confused for a second but Zayn covered it up and smiled hesitantly.

 

“But that’s the dream.” Zayn shrugged and his eyes sparkled with happiness as he dug in again. He ate a massive bite then dug in again and put it in front of Liam’s mouth. Liam took a hold of Zayn’s wrist and ate the ice cream. Then he quickly tugged Zayn forward and kissed him so that their tongues met in a cold and sweet swirl of ice cream.

 

“Your kisses are even better than ice cream. And that means something coming from me.” Zayn wiggled his eyebrows jokingly and Liam chuckled. He dipped his finger into the ice cream and ran it over Zayn’s lips, then ducked forward to lick it off.

 

“I bet that’s even better,” Liam said. Zayn shrugged nonchalantly, although his pink cheeks indicated otherwise, and he took another bite of the ice cream.

 

“Okay. How about this?” Liam dipped his finger in again and ran it across Zayn’s collarbones. The boy shivered and his skin erupted into goosebumps. Liam gave him a small smirk then ducked forward and sucked on Zayn’s collarbones to lick all the ice cream off.

 

“B-better...” Zayn stuttered breathlessly.

 

Liam grabbed the ice cream from Zayn and set it aside. Then he pushed him back against the bed and gazed down at him. Zayn was blinking at him with wide eyes. Liam ran his fingers down Zayn’s chest and felt a hunger rising in him despite just having fucked a little while ago. He dipped his fingers into the ice cream then ran it across Zayn’s nipples. The boy gasped and twitched from the cold sensation on his sensitive buds. Liam leaned down and licked it off, making sure to swirl his tongue just right so that Zayn’s nipples hardened.

 

“Li!” Zayn gasped and clutched Liam’s shoulders.

 

“I think I enjoy eating ice cream like this more,” Liam declared, his voice a low rumble. He dipped three fingers in this time and ran the ice cream down Zayn’s entire torso to the top of his briefs. Zayn was writhing on the bed and releasing small whimpers from the cold sensation. Liam grinned at the breathless boy then ducked down and started licking the ice cream off his body.

 

Zayn moaned and clutched the bed sheets around him as his body twisted under Liam. Liam held him and continued licking and kissing all over Zayn’s body until the ice cream was gone. There were a few drops near the band of Zayn’s briefs, so Liam pulled them down a little bit and licked the remaining few drops off.

 

“You can literally turn anything into sex.” Zayn gasped out with a small giggle.

 

“Because you’re so irresistible baby,” Liam whispered and kissed along his hip bones.

 

“Show me more,” Zayn whispered.

 

Liam grinned and peeled Zayn’s briefs off completely. Then he scooped up some ice cream and ran it down Zayn’s body again, only to start licking and sucking it off his body with Zayn moaning and whining desperately below him.

 

 

**

 

 

Zayn smiled down at his phone as he as he walked out of his lab class. He couldn’t help his uncontrolled happiness because he was looking at Liam’s Instagram, and there was a proper picture of him on it. Over the weekend, he had told Liam that he didn’t care who knew about their relationship anymore. Zayn didn’t want to hide around his peers because he wanted Liam to visit him freely on campus and in his dorms. And most of the world knew anyways so why not make it official on social media? So, Liam had uploaded a picture that he had taken of Zayn in his bed on Sunday morning. Zayn had been lying on the rumpled bed, laughing so hard that his eyes were crinkled, because Liam had been making silly jokes. His hair was messy and he was wearing Liam’s pajama top. Liam had taken the picture and then later uploaded it to Instagram, captioning it ‘my angel.’ Zayn’s heart was doing summersaults as he looked at it. People were being kind in Liam’s comments calling the picture and Zayn cute and being happy at knowing who the mystery boy was.

 

Zayn texted Liam ‘I love you,’ and pocketed his phone. He was on his way to the art club room to pick up the painting he had made on Friday. He had loved being there, surrounded by other people’s gorgeous works of arts, and feeling inspired to make his own piece. Jason had thankfully left him alone so Zayn was able to concentrate. He had made an abstract painting of a sunset and he wanted to hang it in his dorm room. Harry always loved his abstract pieces.

 

Zayn reached the art room, still smiling, with Liam on his mind. He expected maybe a few people to be in there when he entered, but it was surprisingly empty. Zayn shrugged and walked over to the corner where he had left his painting to dry. He walked over to it and set his backpack down so he could pick it up. Before he could though, he heard a door close. Zayn spun around and felt his stomach drop as Jason walked out of one the store rooms.

 

“Zayn,” Jason drawled with a slow smile.

 

“Jason,” Zayn responded.

 

“Surprised to see you here,” Jason said and walked over to him. Zayn noticed that his hands had charcoal on them and he had probably been working before Zayn came in.

 

“Yeah, I just came by to pick my painting up,” Zayn said quickly so that he could leave.

 

“That’s an amazing painting Zayn,” Jason said. “I knew you were talented.”

 

“Thank you,” Zayn replied.

 

“I mostly work with charcoal myself,” Jason said. He pointed to his piece resting against the wall. It was a charcoal drawing of a woman lying in a bed, her nightie slipping off he shoulder, and she was smoking. The details were astounding. Zayn could forget for a second how much he disliked Jason as he stared in awe at the drawing.

 

“You’re really good Jason,” Zayn said as he admired the work. “Really good.” Zayn gave him a small smile.

 

Jason was staring at him with a piercing intensity. His eyes were roaming all over Zayn’s face and they eventually stopped on his lips. “Your smile is ridiculously pretty.” Jason walked closer to Zayn and stopped right in front of him. Zayn’s heart was hammering in his chest and his mind raged through a series of emotions. Something in his head was telling him to run, but his body was panicking and not moving.

 

“You’re all I think about,” Jason said in a low voice. He walked up to Zayn until he had him backed up to a wall. “I might be going insane.”

 

“Jason I don’t-“ Zayn started.

 

Jason cupped Zayn’s face and ran his thumb along his cheek. “You’ve done a number on me,” he whispered. And then before Zayn could get his frozen body to move, Jason looked at his mouth once more, then leaned in and kissed him.

 

It felt like his body was paralyzed. He couldn’t move. Not even an inch. His hands hung limp by his sides, his body was pressed to the wall and he couldn’t speak. Jason had one hand cupping his face and one running down his body. Zayn was screaming internally, but his body had shut down as a result of a panic attack and it wouldn’t listen to his brain to move. All he could feel were Jason’s rough lips pressed to his own, his body pressed against his own, his fingers running along his cheek, and his other hand gripping his hip.

 

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope you enjoyed that! If you're annoyed by that ending, I am really sorry, But don't worry... just yet. And this goes without saying but please don't blame Zayn for not reacting 'properly' regarding the texts and Jason, anxiety is a bitch about confrontation, trust me I know (this is just because I've gotten a few messages calling Zayn weak in the past and it pissed me off because those people must not understand anxiety/social anxiety and how impossible it feels sometimes to deal with serious situations). And I know some people wanted warnings when things got serious, so consider this an official warning. Next chapter still has some light hearted moments but then the actual serious stuff starts as well and the chapter after that is straight up in the drama and it just continues from there. I'm gonna start apologizing now in case people don't like angst/drama because things will legit get really serious starting next chap. I'm already writing it so hopefully not too long to upload it. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and supporting me as always I love you guys! I also recently noticed that I won this favourite author thing on tumblr and it blew me away. I don't know how people vote for me or thing I'm worth that, but THANK YOU you lovely people. <33
> 
> And I've started doing the bold thing for text messages because there were a bunch in this chapter and it'll help make them stand out.
> 
> One more thing, I feel like I should have given this disclaimer last chapter, but I don't go to NYU or live in NYC so I don't know anything about the programs in that uni or the layout of campuses. I try to stay really vague when describing Zayn's dorm or classes although I did some research and got a general idea of NYU. Most I base off of how pre-med programs and dorms are universally. And the cafe is fictional too. This is just a fic so I didn't try too hard to be very very specific about the uni details because it's just a backdrop. I hope that isn't an issue. 
> 
> Thanks again!!


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I can't believe I completed two long ass chapters in one week but all I'm doing these days is writing so :) I hope you guys like this chapter its about 25k words and honestly, one of my favourite chapters from all the ones written so far :) As always, thank you for the continued support and love! It never fails to amaze me! And THANK YOU for the 800 kudos!! I'm still a little speechless! Your support is mind blowing!! Before you read though I needed to address a few important things. I've had a couple concerns where people thought this fic might include rape and I want to let you all know that there is absolutely NO rape. I can't even read things like that it triggers my anxiety like crazy so I wouldn't ever write it. Yes there is heavy drama/angst with some slightly triggering material which I will warn you about but there is NO rape. 
> 
> **TRIGGER WARNING: That being said, this chapter includes a scene near the end that might be slightly triggering and uncomfortable for some people. Please read with caution If you are easily triggered. If you would completely like to skip that part then you can skip the scene where there is a party at a sorority house up until you reach the next scene in the dorm. I'm not going to say over here what happens since a lot of people don't like spoilers. So if you would like to skip the uncomfortable scene, you can do so at the part I said above and I will still give you a summary in the end notes so you're not totally lost. I hope this helps.
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you like the chapter! Urdu words/songs translated at end :)

 

 

Zayn had never felt such paralysis during an oncoming panic attack before. His body had completely shut down and no matter how much his brain urged his legs to move, or his arms to push, nothing would happen. He stayed stock still as Jason continued to kiss him. More like Jason kissing Zayn’s frozen mouth. He prayed in his head that his body would just _move._ And by some mercy, when Jason ran his hand down Zayn’s side and touched the hem of his shirt, something in his body finally snapped. Zayn’s limp hands sprung up and he pushed Jason off with all his might.

 

“What are you doing?” Zayn yelled out, horrified. “What- what gave you the impression that you could touch me like that without my consent?” His heart was hammering against his chest at a painfully fast pace. His body was shaking horribly but Zayn clenched his fists tightly until his nails bit into his palms. He put every ounce of effort into controlling his panic attack until he was away from this vile person.

 

“Zayn-” Jason tried to come forward again but Zayn pushed him away again and quickly walked away from the wall.

 

“Don’t you _dare_ come another step closer. You’ve been violating my personal space since the day we met. You’ve been making me feel sick with your presence, your looks, your words… and I stayed silent because I kept giving you the benefit of the doubt. More than that it was my own issue with not being able to tell people off. But this- you crossed every limit there is, Jason.” Zayn’s voice was shaking with anger and he knew his eyes probably showed a hint of fear as well. But he pushed it away to not let Jason see how he was being hit with non-stop anxiety.

 

“There’s a reason you didn’t tell me off right from the day we met and you know it. You like this, you like me,” Jason said in a low voice. His face was starting to get clouded in anger and Zayn felt his heart start to thump faster.

 

“No. You’re not going to do that. I told you the day we met that I have a boyfriend. Who I love very much and nobody, especially not you, compares to him. And you know what? Even if I wasn’t dating someone, I still wouldn’t want this. I’m not attracted you, there’s no world where I could have been. You’re not a good person Jason. And this just proved it. Touching me and kissing me when you _know_ I don’t want to kiss you, when I’ve shown every sign of being uncomfortable by your presence, is the height of your despicable behaviour.” Zayn grabbed his backpack angrily and tried to walk away before he threw up from nerves right in the art room.

 

Jason grabbed his arm and Zayn wrenched it out furiously. “Don’t touch me! Don’t fucking touch me!” Zayn screamed. He whirled around and glared at Jason, wanting to punch him in his smug face, which was currently dark with quiet rage. “I swear to God… don’t _ever,_ touch me again or come near me again. Stay the fuck away from me!”

 

“You’re going to regret this,” Jason said in a dangerous voice. His eyes were angry and disturbed and Zayn felt a shiver run through his body.

 

“It’s you who’s sending me those disturbing texts, isn’t it?” Zayn asked with bile rising in his throat. Jason stayed silent and his face didn’t even twitch. Zayn shook his head and started backing away. “Stay… the fuck… away from me.”

 

Zayn wasted no more seconds in Jason’s presence and bolted from the art room. He ran from the student centre, he ran through campus, he ran ten minutes back to his dorm. And when he finally reached the lobby on shaky legs, with tears streaming down his face, he realized he had left behind the painting he had gone to pick up.

 

Bounding up the steps, Zayn didn’t give a damn about the students who gave him funny looks as he ran past, breathless and tear stained. His brain was practically doing a countdown till explosion and he burst into his room. He locked his door behind him and fell onto his bed panting. Zayn found his medication for panic attacks with shaky hands and swallowed a pill. His body was on the brink of breaking down and he needed to stop it. But his brain wouldn’t stop thinking. He couldn’t forget the feeling of Jason’s rough lips pressing to his own, his strong smell of nicotine and charcoal, his tight grip on Zayn’s hip. He choked out a cry in the silent room and smacked a hand over his mouth to muffle the sound. Hot tears sprang from his eyes and ran down his face. Jason had just kissed him, nothing more, but Zayn felt violated. That had been done without his permission and felt nothing but wrong. He wanted to go back and slap Jason across his face.

 

His body was on overdrive as his medication hadn’t kicked in yet. Nothing was making sense to him and he hysterically grabbed his toothbrush and rushed down the corridor of his floor to the male bathrooms. He didn’t see anybody in the vicinity and rushed over to the sinks. He squeezed a glob of toothpaste onto the bristles and started furiously scrubbing his mouth as he stared at his red, tear-streaked face in the mirror. He was brushing his teeth so furiously that he started hurting his gums and they bled onto his toothbrush. Zayn spat it out and stared at the swirls of red in the sink. His arms shook where he held onto the edges of the counter. His tears fell into the sink in fat drops as well.

 

“Zayn?”

 

Zayn looked up in the mirror and made eye contact with Louis, who was looking at him slightly horrified. Zayn rubbed a hand across his mouth and quickly started rinsing it out with some water.

 

“Zayn…” Louis walked over to him and grabbed his arm. “What… what are you doing?”

 

Zayn’s body started trembling again and he let out a shaky breath as he looked at Louis. “He… Jason… he just… he kissed me… he just grabbed me.”

 

Louis’ eyes widened in surprise. He turned Zayn around and grasped his hands. “Okay… I need you to breathe for me…” Louis grabbed Zayn’s toothbrush from his enclosed fist and started rubbing his back soothingly. “Breathe. My mom taught me to always take three deep breaths when I’m panicking and feel like I might collapse. Come on. Three deep ones.”

 

Zayn took three shaky breaths along with Louis who rubbed his arms gently the whole time. When he was done, he started sagging on his feet, feeling like he might collapse. Tears were still clouding his vision and he didn’t feel better.

 

“Now come with me,” Louis said softly. Zayn felt like dead weight on his feet as Louis led him out the bathroom and back down the corridor. When they reached Zayn’s door which was standing ajar, he realized he had left it wide open in his haste. Louis led him inside and sat him down on the bed.

 

“Now, I’m going to go get Harry. He’s just in my room. Be back in a second, okay?” Louis gave his shoulder a squeeze then quickly left the room. Zayn sat there with his hands in his lap, trying his best to quell his nausea. Trying to forget about Jason and how his unwanted touch had left an invisible mark on his body. Across the room, over Harry’s chest of drawers, was a large mirror. In the mirror, Zayn saw a streak of black on his cheek and, to his increasing horror, he realized Jason had left charcoal fingerprints on his cheek where he had been cupping his face. Zayn whimpered angrily and started scrubbing his cheek with his sleeve to get the ugly stain off

 

“Babe.” Harry rushed into the room with a concerned look on his face. “ZayZay?” Harry kneeled in front of him and grasped his hands. “Babe, what happened?” Harry whispered.

 

“He… Jason…” Zayn gulped and met Harry’s eyes. “I went to the art room to get my painting- I knew you would like it… and… he was there… I wanted to leave… he showed me his drawing and the next thing I know he has me pushed to the wall and he’s kissing me. He- he’s kissing me and his hands are on my body… I was just frozen like an idiot. I was panicking. My body wouldn’t move. I don’t know how I finally moved… I just…” Zayn stopped and covered his face as tears spilled from his eyes again.

 

“That fucking bastard,” Harry said in anger. “How dare he?”

 

“Haz… he said… he said by not telling him off before it meant that I wanted him. But I didn’t! I never wanted him! I don’t want him! I hate him!” Zayn cried out. Harry quickly wrapped his arms around Zayn and started rocking him in a calming manner.

 

“He violated my personal space… he touched me when I didn’t want it… he’s always made me uncomfortable but I ignored it. And now this. Maybe I was the fucking idiot who made the mistake of not yelling at him earlier on like you all told me to,” Zayn choked out.

 

“No Zee,” Louis said and sat down beside them. “You don’t talk to the guy other than politely responding to his questions which is what all decent humans do. He knows you have a boyfriend and still tried that shit. It’s all on him,” Louis said firmly.

 

“I can’t forget the feeling of his lips... I hate it so much…” Zayn said in a cracked voice. His tears were soaking Harry’s shirt but the other boy didn’t mind and continued to hug him tightly.

 

“Babe just breathe. Just focus on me and don’t think about him. Forget that bastard,” Harry said soothingly.

 

“Th- this is so stupid and you guys will obviously not see it the way I do… but… Liam was my first kiss, and I know he’s going to be my last. That’s what I’ve always thought ever since we got together. Nobody else was going to come in between and it felt special knowing that the only person I’ve ever kissed and will ever kiss is Liam. The love of my life. And Jason _violated_ that,” Zayn cried out frantically. “He- he violated something special. Something I held so close to my heart. He violated my space, my choices and me.”

 

“Zaynie breathe…” Louis was looking at him with so much concern. “Jason kissing you without your permission is not on you. His intrusion of your personal space is not your fault. And don't let it define what you share with Liam. As far as you’re concerned, Liam is still the only person you've kissed. Because Jason kissed you with force, you didn't kiss him. There was no consent there from your side. Don't let him taint the bond you have with the person you truly love," Louis told him softly.

 

"I know," Zayn replied as he moved back and rubbed a hand across his eyes. "But my mind won't let me forget that it happened. That the special association I had with kissing being something I've shared with just Liam is now broken. It shouldn't matter but I just... it mattered to me you know? It sounds dumb but it mattered to me. Why did he touch me without my permission? I didn't ask for this. I hate him so much."

 

"I'm going to break his face I swear to God. He's caused you so much pain I want to kill him," Harry said in frustration. "Zayn, do you think those texts are also from him?"

 

"Now I do. After today's incident, I kind of do. I don't know why he went to the length of getting a blocked number to send me gross texts and then deny them but it has Jason's name all over it. And he said something stupid like I'm gonna regret pushing him away and I don't think he's done Haz." Zayn dropped his head to Harry's shoulder and sighed shakily. The heavy feeling that always came after crying was weighing down on his head. And he suddenly felt exhausted. Anxiety attacks always felt like running a marathon and Zayn just wanted to lie down.

 

"Zayn... have you told Liam?" Louis asked

 

"No. He has too much on his mind and I can't right now. All his attention will be divided and he'll be so angry at Jason and I can't do that to him. He's way too stressed about work," Zayn murmured.

 

"Babe, after today you should. Liam probably has resources to track blocked numbers and this way your suspicions will be cleared. And talking to him about today will help you as well. He always knows what to say and do and you'll feel better," Harry said gently

 

"Not yet Haz. I can't yet. I don't... I just don't... I feel sick." Zayn lay down on his bed and hugged a pillow to his chest. As he looked down at his body he realized he was wearing Liam's hoodie. Just a plain black Adidas hoodie. But thinking about Jason kissing him and touching him while he wore Liam's clothes made him feel like throwing up even more. 

 

"I wish there was a way I could break Jason's face right now," Harry said

 

"Don't Haz. I don't want you getting hurt. I'm going to stay far away from that bastard now," Zayn replied with a sigh.

 

"Start carrying pepper spray. I'm just glad you got away before he did anything else. But from now on, carry pepper spray with you. If you see him again, mace the fucker," Louis said.

 

Zayn felt exhausted and his limbs felt like they were full of lead. He turned towards the wall and lay there, staring at it. He could sense Harry and Louis sitting behind him having some sort of silent conversation. But he just wanted to be left alone.

 

"Get some rest Zay. I'll check on you soon," Harry whispered.

 

Zayn nodded although he couldn't see Harry’s expression. Harry kissed his head and Louis gave his arm a gentle squeeze before they left the room. Zayn brought his wrist up from under his stomach and touched the Cartier bracelet tentatively. His eyes filled with tears as the idea of Jason ruining the pure association he had with kisses filled his mind again. His eye caught the stuffed Bambi Liam had given him sitting at the edge of his shelf. Zayn grabbed it then pushed back under his covers to let his frustrated tears soak the stuffed deer.  His phone suddenly vibrated in his pocket and he jumped a little. Zayn sighed and drew it out of his pocket to see a message from Liam. His heart started hammering and he opened it to read it.

 

**From Jaan: Hey cute stuff :) I want to see you today. I already miss you and I need to talk to you about something. Can I pick you up in about two hours when I get away from work?**

 

Zayn’s body was aching with the exhaustion of anger, the panic attack and all the tears he had shed. He longed for some comfort to take it away and he knew his safe space was Liam's arms which would remedy this. He wanted to be as far away from campus right now as well. Possibly in the safety of Liam's place. With Ray as well.

 

**To Jaan: Hi jaan. Is it okay if I head over to your place right now instead of waiting? I can test out that new key and I really miss Ray.**

 

**From Jaan: As long as you missed me more? JK. Go ahead baby. I'll see you there soon. I love you my angel <3**

 

**To Jaan: Love you more. Forever and always.**

 

Zayn jumped from the bed, grabbed his backpack and stuffed his necessities into it. He wanted to get to Liam's place immediately and be away from all this negative energy. He changed his clothes to get the feeling of Jason’s touch off himself. When he was done, he headed to Louis’ room to inform the boys that he was leaving for the night. Harry expressed concern at him leaving right after having a panic attack but Zayn reassured him that his medication was kicking in and making him feel slightly more relaxed. When Harry was slightly satisfied, Zayn left.

 

 

**

 

 

Zayn walked into the main foyer of Liam’s penthouse and dropped his bag onto a table. He felt sullen and heavy with the weight of today’s events. He wanted to travel back in time to that yacht so that he had never met Jason or agreed to check out his art club. Jason had not just done the damage he had done physically by kissing him, but he had also ruined something Zayn had genuinely liked. The art club. Zayn felt sick when he thought about going back there. He sighed and walked towards the kitchen to get a drink of water to clear his nerves. Upon walking in, he found Mary standing near the counter and pulling things out of grocery bags.

 

“Hi honey,” Mary greeted him warmly. “I had no idea you were coming over. I was going to make Liam a simple dinner but I’ll make something more special if you’re here.”

 

“That’s alright Mary. I’m not hungry anyways.” Zayn gave her a weak smile and walked over to the fridge to get a water bottle.

 

“Well you’re not going to skip dinner on my watch. What would your mom think? You need a full stomach if you want to study and do well with your classes.” Marry patted his back as she walked around him to start putting things into the pantry.

 

“No, I just feel sick today,” Zayn murmured.

 

“What’s wrong?” Mary touched his forehead and looked at him worriedly. “Are you getting a fever?”

 

“No, I’m just… a little tired with school,” Zayn said. He then had an idea about doing something special for Liam. And to help take his own mind off things. “Actually, umm… is it okay if I cook dinner? I want to do it for Liam.”

 

“You look really exhausted darling are you sure you want to do it? I can at least help,” Mary said.

 

“I’ll be fine,” Zayn replied with a tentative smile. “I used to help my parents cook and I’m pretty good.”

 

“I don’t doubt that.” Mary smiled at him. “What do you want to make? I can point out where all the ingredients are.”

“Ummm… well we have two hours so there’s time to make something nice.” Zayn walked over to the pantry and found an array of different kinds of pastas. He ran his hands over them contemplatively and then decided he would make his mom’s spicy chicken and mushroom pasta. He walked out with a pack of penne pasta and placed it onto the counter. As he went to grab an apron, he found a black one that read ‘ ~~Kiss~~ Fuck the Chef.’ Zayn smiled as he tied it around himself and turned towards Mary.

 

“This is an interesting choice Mary,” Zayn said.

 

“That is not mine,” Mary answered with a laugh. “That’s Liam’s. He got it from a friend.”

 

“Oh.” Zayn smiled but felt his stomach flip at the mention of Liam.

 

“Well, what else do you need?” Mary asked.

 

 

**

 

 

With some help and guidance from Mary, and a phone call to his mom for her recipe, Zayn had made an excellent dinner. Mary had left a little while ago when only the dessert was left to be prepped, which Zayn was handling well. He had turned on some music to play throughout the penthouse and Ray was playing in his feet, running around his legs. Zayn felt better than before as he was significantly distracted. But a bitter feeling had settled into the base of his throat and it wouldn’t wash away. He still hadn’t decided if he should tell Liam everything, and when he should tell him. His anxiety was humming at low pace, not fully thriving because of his medication, but buzzing throughout his body nonetheless. Zayn was finishing up the salad when he heard the buzzing sound that indicated that the heavy front door was being opened. His heart beat faster as he realized Liam was home. Zayn looked up as Liam walked into the kitchen, his eyes turned down to his phone as he typed away. Liam looked up momentarily and when he saw Zayn behind the island he stopped. Then a massive grin spread across his face, his whole face lighting up. Zayn wanted to cry because he loved that smile and the man behind it so much. And nothing seemed more like home than being near it all.

 

“You’re like a breath of fresh air. Did you know that?” Liam said. He put his bag and suit jacket onto the table and walked towards Zayn as he loosened his tie up.

 

“How?” Zayn asked and kept his eyes trained downwards as he chopped a cucumber with shaky hands.

 

“How?” Liam repeated and came up behind Zayn to wrap an arm around his waist. “Because seeing you relaxes me instantly and takes away all my stress. You and your beautiful face are my calm, angel.” Liam murmured the words into his ear as he pressed soft kisses along his ear and neck.

 

Zayn quickly dropped his knife and turned around to wrap his arms around Liam and hug him tightly. He pressed his face into Liam’s solid chest and breathed in the calming scent of his cologne which always settled his nerves. “I love you,” Zayn said in a barely audible whisper.

 

“I love you too sweetheart,” Liam replied and kissed the top of his head. “And what’s the occasion? Why are you cooking?”

 

“I wanted to do something special for you,” Zayn said softly. He looked up and was hit with Liam’s loving gaze.

 

“That’s so sweet baby. You didn’t have to. I know you must be tired after your long day of classes, but thank you.” Liam tilted his face up and kissed him tenderly. Zayn felt tears pricking his eyes as his mind went back to the lips that had been pressing against his own a few hours ago. He wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and pushed harder into the kiss to try and erase the feeling of Jason’s mouth. After a few moments, Liam slowed the kiss down and tilted his head to leave a path of kisses from the corner of Zayn’s mouth to his temple. Zayn sighed and smiled a little. Liam and his touch always worked wonders.

 

“Don’t mind if I do,” Liam said and ran his hand down the front of Zayn’s body.

 

“What- oh,” Zayn blushed a little as he looked down at the apron that Liam was touching. “Well umm… dinner first?” Zayn suggested.

 

“Well I know what I’m hungry for,” Liam murmured and ran his hands down Zayn’s body to squeeze his ass.

 

“After,” Zayn whispered. “After dinner, I want you to take me to bed and I want to stay there all night.”

 

“More than happy to,” Liam whispered and kissed him. “I’m going to go change my clothes.”

 

“Hurry back,” Zayn said with a smile. Liam pinched his chin fondly and kissed his forehead before walking away.

 

Zayn quickly laid out everything on the table in the dining room. He put out silverware, napkins and lit some candles. Then he brought in the food and placed it on the table, everything looking perfect. Zayn had tossed aside the apron and was about to sit down on a chair when strong arms caught him from behind.

 

“Sit here,” Liam said and pulled Zayn into his lap as he sat in his own chair.

 

“Oh, much more comfortable.” Zayn laughed lightly. Liam smiled down at him and kissed his forehead as Zayn nestled his head into the crook of Liam’s neck. Liam wrapped loose arms around his slighter form and hugged him.

 

“How was your day?” Liam asked.

 

“Fine,” Zayn responded. Memory of everything from before started coming back and he pushed it out of his mind. He leaned forward and poured some food into a plate. Then he forked a piece of pasta and held it out for Liam. The man smiled at him and ate the bite that Zayn held out for him.

 

“How was your day?” Zayn asked.

 

“A little crazed but that’s the usual for me,” Liam replied. He took the fork from Zayn and fed him some pasta. “I have to talk to you about something though.”

“Is it good news or bad?” Zayn asked hesitantly.

 

“Depends,” Liam answered slowly. His face turned a little serious and he leaned forward to peck Zayn’s lips. “Let’s talk about that after dinner though.”

 

“Okay,” Zayn replied. He started thinking about Jason and the kiss and the text messages. He thought about whether he should tell Liam or not. But the harder he tried, the more his tongue felt frozen.

 

“Who knew you cooked so well too,” Liam said as he took a bite of garlic bread.

 

“My mom taught me well,” Zayn answered with a smile.

 

“She did, did she?” Liam smiled gently, his eyes awash with adoration, and he rubbed his thumb over Zayn’s lip before kissing him.

 

“Yeah. She also taught me to finish my dinner before it gets cold.” Zayn grinned and pushed some pasta into Liam’s mouth. The man swallowed and started laughing.

 

“Sorry I tried to bend your dinner rules, my love. You’re just so beautiful and every time you smile, I feel like my heart stops,” Liam murmured.

 

“Flatterer.” Zayn huffed and took a bite of food to keep himself occupied. Liam smiled and went back to eating after giving Zayn a sloppy kiss.

 

When they finished dinner, they took the empty plates to the kitchen and left them in the sink. Zayn walked over the fridge to open it and pull out the dessert he had prepared. It was chocolate mousse with a cookie crumble and a strawberry on top for each.

“Let’s eat that in bed,” Liam said. He took both dessert cups into his hand then gestured to Zayn to come closer. Zayn smiled and walked forward as Liam pulled him up into his arms as well. Zayn wrapped his legs around Liam’s waist and kissed him as the man walked them out of the kitchen and up to his bedroom.

 

They fell into bed and ate the dessert while trading sweet kisses. They put the TV on in the background and curled up together as Liam talked about his day and Zayn avoided talking about his. Only willing to talk about how Ray had been active all evening, running around the kitchen and knocking things over. When there was nothing left of the dessert, Liam took the cups and put them aside. Then he sat up and took Zayn’s hands and pressed a kiss to the back of them.

 

“Angel… You know how I told you we’ve started phase one of the Vegas project?” Liam said with a serious look taking over his face.

 

“Yes,” Zayn replied.

 

“Well there’s a lot going on over there and it’s important for me to be present. We have a task force meeting with everyone on the project, I have to meet the contractors, I have to do a site visit and meet with the gaming commission. There’s loads of work to do. So I have to go to Vegas,” Liam explained.

 

“Okay…” Zayn said slowly, his heartbeat already speeding up. “How long?”

 

“That’s the thing. I have to go to London tomorrow for a day or two to handle some business over there. Then I’m flying straight to Vegas and I might be there for about two weeks.” Liam squeezed his hand apologetically.

 

No. No. No. Zayn felt like he had misheard. Liam was leaving? For two weeks?

 

“W-what?” Zayn choked out. “You’re leaving? Tomorrow? For two weeks?”

 

“I am. I’m so sorry, baby. I should have told you earlier, but there were no dates set and today I found out that I have to leave tomorrow morning. I don’t want to leave you and it’s killing me but there’s so much going on-“

 

“Li please don’t go,” Zayn said frantically. His body was shaking and he felt tears spring to his eyes. He grabbed Liam’s hands tightly and looked at him with pleading eyes. With everything going on, the texts, Jason, the kiss today… he felt like he might crumble and now Liam was leaving. He couldn’t handle this.

 

“Zayn… baby, I’m so sorry I know it’s going to be hard and I’ll try my best to come back as quickly as I can-“

 

“No, no, no! Please don’t go!” Zayn cried out as the tears unleashed. The panic he had been holding back about the incident with Jason before spilled out in the form of frustration at Liam leaving. If everything else hadn’t been going on, he would have handled this differently. But his mind had been distressed all day and he knew it was unfair to Liam but he didn’t want him to go.

 

“Zayn… what…” Liam looked at him, a little speechless, clearly not expecting the tears and outburst. Zayn wanted to scream and tell him he was afraid. He wanted Liam to stay here. He couldn’t be apart from him right now because everything was too much.

 

“How… why are you leaving me?” Zayn tugged his hands away from Liam and moved back on the bed. He hugged his knees to his chest and looked at Liam through frustrated tears.

 

“Sweetheart, I’m not leaving you. Why would you think that? I’m going to be back in one or two weeks. I’ll try coming back sooner. And I’ll fly you out if it becomes too difficult.” Liam looked immensely concerned at Zayn’s reaction. He moved forward to take a hold of Zayn’s hands, but Zayn pulled away.

 

“You are. You’re leaving me. Please, please, don’t! I need you here!” Zayn said shakily, between thick tears. His hands were trembling and he used them to wipe his wet cheeks

 

“Baby, you’re scaring me. What’s going on? Why are you crying?” Liam cupped his face and wiped his tears away. “Is something else going on?”

“Nothing. Nothing is going on. I- I can’t. I need to be alone.” Zayn got up from the bed and hurried out the door. He could hear Liam calling his name out in concern. Zayn just walked down the hallway, wiping away his tears, and went into the room Liam had created for him. He shut the door and sank down onto the rug.

 

This wasn’t happening. Why was Liam leaving right now of all times? He knew he could tell Liam about everything that had been going on. But Liam’s reaction wouldn’t be calm and Zayn couldn’t do that right now. Not when Liam clearly had so much going on. But it hurt. It hurt so much. The idea of being away from Liam for that long was causing him physical pain. He couldn’t even be away from him for a day or two. And two weeks? Zayn pulled his knees up and pressed his face down into them to curb his nauseated feeling and muffle his tears.

 

 

 

**

 

 

Liam had absolutely no idea what had just happened. Zayn had completely lost it when he had told him that he would be leaving. Of course, Liam knew he would be upset, he himself was upset. They had never been apart in their relationship so far and the idea was extremely difficult. But he hadn’t expected Zayn to freak out like that. And he had been yelling about needing Liam which was making the man even more worried. This was more than just Liam leaving. There was something even bigger bothering Zayn that he wasn’t talking about. He wanted to go after Zayn and talk to him, but he knew that when the boy was overwhelmed he didn’t like being bombarded. Liam decided to let him have a few minutes to cool down and then he’d find him again.

 

In the meantime, Liam answered a few work emails and went to the roof for a quick cigarette. Zayn was probably in his little room because the light was on and Liam could hear some noise from in there. After he had given it some time, Liam went over to the room. He knocked on it and waited for Zayn to answer.

 

“Zayn? Can I come in, baby?” Liam asked. He wouldn’t intrude if Zayn needed some space to himself but he was worried sick at this point, wondering what was going on. When Zayn didn’t reply, Liam opened the door and walked in.

 

Zayn was sat on the floor by the fireplace. He had his headphones in, listening to music, and was copying notes from his textbook. His face was still covered in tears. Ray was snuggled beside him on a fluffy cushion, dozing off comfortably. Zayn looked up momentarily and Liam saw hurt in his eyes. That look made Liam’s heart ache. He never liked seeing hurt or fear on Zayn’s face and knowing that he caused it was even more painful.

 

“Angel…” Liam murmured and he kneeled in front of Zayn. “Why are you so upset?”

 

Zayn kept staring down at his textbook where his pencil was tapping against a diagram of a red blood cell. Liam saw his lower lip quivering and his chest heaving. Zayn’s eyelashes were thicker and darker as they were lined with tears and when he blinked they fell onto his textbook. Liam slowly pulled the textbook away and then drew Zayn into his lap. Zayn shivered a little and fell forward to clutch Liam tightly as he started crying again.

 

“Zayn, you’re honestly freaking me out. What’s really the matter?” Liam murmured.

 

“Jaan… please, _please_ don’t go. I can’t stay that long without you. I need you more than you know or understand. Being away from you hurts too much. Please!” Zayn cried out shakily.

 

“My love, you know I wouldn’t if it wasn’t absolutely necessary. You’re so strong Zayn. I know you can do this. And I know something else is bothering you, so please tell me,” Liam pleaded.

 

Zayn pushed Liam away and went back to go sit in his original spot. He looked hurt and closed off again which made Liam more worried. Zayn rubbed a hand across Ray’s fur and pulled him into his lap to stroke his back. “Leave me alone please,” Zayn muttered.

 

“Zayn,” Liam said incredulously. “I really am sorry. But don’t shut me out. Talk to me.”

 

“I don’t want to talk about anything. Have fun on your trip,” Zayn said in a low voice. He picked up his textbook and started flipping through it again.

 

“Nothing is going to be resolved like this,” Liam said. He covered Zayn’s hand with his own and rubbed it. “I’m not going to go and leave you behind upset like this. You mean more to me than some work thing. Please angel,” Liam said softly.

 

“Stop Liam. If you’re still going to go anyways, then don’t do this. It hurts even more,” Zayn whimpered as his eyes clouded up again.

 

“Baby,” Liam said, feeling incredibly pained. He moved forward and cupped Zayn’s face to look in to his eyes. “I can’t see you hurting like this. It kills me. Any tears that fall from your eyes feel like a stab in my heart. So _please-_ ” Liam kissed his forehead, “-please tell me what’s wrong.” Liam finished off by pecking Zayn on the lips. “What can I do to make you feel better?”

 

“Nothing. I just want to be alone,” Zayn said and pulled away from him.

 

“Even my kisses aren’t making it better this time?” Liam tried to make a light-hearted joke, hoping to see Zayn crack a smile. But the boy just looked at him in the same upset way.

 

“No. You’re making it worse. And you know what-” Zayn kissed him quickly and pulled away, angry and hysterical. “You can take your kiss back as well!” Zayn got up and grabbed Ray with one hand, and his book with the other hand to storm out of the room.

 

“Zayn!” Liam yelled after him. Now he just felt frustrated because nothing about Zayn’s behavior was making any sense. This kind of behavior was so unlike Zayn and Liam sensed he was having an anxiety attack so he went after him.

 

Liam heard banging sounds in the kitchen so he walked into it and found Zayn climbed on top of the counter, tearing through a cupboard that held all of the junk food he loved to eat and Liam kept for him. Zayn was tossing out bags of candy and chips onto the counter and floor.

 

“Zayn… what in God’s name are you doing?” Liam asked slowly.

 

“I don’t know. I just need something,” Zayn said in shaky voice. “I- I have a test tomorrow and I feel weighed down. My medication is making me tired and I need to stay awake to study.”

 

“Zayn you’re having a panic attack,” Liam told him carefully.

 

Zayn ignored him and pulled a six pack of red bull from the cupboard and pulled a can from the plastic rings. He popped the can open and was about to start drinking it when Liam grabbed it from his hand and set it aside

 

“Baby! Aren’t you supposed to avoid that stuff? It’s triggering for your anxiety and you’re already having a panic attack.” Liam tried to grab his hand to pull him down, but Zayn pulled away.

 

“I don’t care!” Zayn yelled. “I don’t care! I just need something to make me not feel like this!” Liam watched, speechless, as Zayn tore open a bag of cookies while crying and shoved one into his mouth.

 

“Zayn.” Liam said and came up behind him. “Stop.” When Zayn continued to pull things down from the cupboard, Liam grabbed his arm and held on tight. “Stop!” Liam said more sternly. He grabbed Zayn around the waist and lifted him off the counter with ease. Zayn struggled away from him while still crying, completely unaware of what he was doing.

 

“Leave me, Liam!” Zayn screamed.

 

Liam sank down onto the kitchen floor, still holding Zayn in his arms. The boy thrashed in his grip for a bit then he completely gave up and sank against Liam while continuing to cry. He pounded on Liam’s chest weakly for a few seconds. Then he just grabbed fistfuls of his shirt and clung to him tightly. Liam embraced Zayn firmly and leaned back against the refrigerator, just holding Zayn and rubbing his back.

 

“You’re having a panic attack. Your body is rushing with adrenaline and you’re unaware of what you’re doing right now. Your brain is on overdrive and panicking and sending you into a spiral of fear and hyperactivity. Nothing else. It’s making you think you need sugar or caffeine but you don’t. It’s going to make you feel worse. Just breathe with me, my love,” Liam murmured gently and kissed Zayn’s head as he rubbed his back soothingly.

 

“I hate being like this. I hate it. I hate it.” Zayn hiccupped into his chest through tears.

 

“You’re fine now, angel. I got you okay? Just breathe in and out. Come on.” Liam prompted Zayn to take deep breaths and Zayn did so shakily. He met Liam’s eyes and Liam’s heart broke. Zayn’s eyes were wide and red, drowning in tears. His cheeks were covered in tear tracks and he was shaking.

 

“Once more,” Liam said softly. Zayn nodded and took another deep breath. Then he fell forward against Liam’s chest tiredly. Liam held him protectively and kissed him all over his head. “Better?” Liam asked.

 

“No,” Zayn answered in a small voice.

 

Liam squeezed Zayn in his arms and picked up his shaky hand to kiss the back of every knuckle. “I’m not going to go anymore. You need me here because something is clearly wrong. And work can go fuck itself because _you_ are the only thing that matters.”

 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Zayn cried into his chest. “I don’t know why I’m behaving like this. I just love you so much. I love you so much that I can’t breathe sometimes and you- you’re like my air.”

 

“Never ever apologize Zayn. You and your health matter. You’re _all_ that matters to me my angel. You’re my everything.” Liam cupped Zayn’s face and kissed him all over it, kissing away all his tears and then kissing his damp eyelids. “I love you so fucking much.”

 

Zayn sagged against his chest and Liam stood up from the kitchen floor, carrying Zayn in his arms. He was limp in Liam’s arms and Liam kissed his forehead lovingly before climbing the stairs to his bedroom. He went through to his bathroom and gently set Zayn down on a bench. Then he plugged the tub in and ran a bath. Zayn watched him silently as Liam poured in some bubbles and soothing oils. He turned the lights low as well and then came over to Zayn.

 

“You need to relax. Your brain won’t settle down until you put yourself in a relaxing environment. Come here.” Liam motioned to Zayn to stand up and he did so on shaky legs. Liam took off his shirt and kissed his lips gently before kneeling in front of him, leaving a trail of kisses down his chest and stomach. Then Liam unzipped Zayn’s pants and peeled them off one leg at a time. He kissed Zayn’s bare legs, leaving multiple kisses on his thigh freckle. Then he took his briefs off too and stood up. Liam took his hand and helped him into the bath tub.

 

“Now try and relax. I’m going to grab you some water okay?” Liam ran a hand through Zayn’s hair and kissed his forehead before leaving the room. He went back to the kitchen and cleaned up the mess Zayn had made, putting everything away. He found Ray drinking out of his water bowl and when the kitten was done, he went and put him into his bed. Then Liam grabbed a water bottle for Zayn and went back.

 

When he walked into the bathroom, the boy was nodding off to sleep with his head resting against the cushioned side of the tub. Liam set the water down and went over to Zayn to touch his face lightly. “Don’t nod off in the tub, you could slip under.”  
  
Zayn opened his eyes and shot Liam a small smile. “Can you get in with me?” He asked softly.

 

“Sure,” Liam replied. He kicked his own clothes off then slipped in behind Zayn. When Liam settled in, Zayn leaned back against him letting his head loll against Liam’s chest. Liam picked up a wash cloth and started washing Zayn’s shoulder in gentle motions.

 

“I’m sorry for freaking out on you. That was… really embarrassing,” Zayn whispered.

 

“No. It wasn’t. You were having a panic attack. It’s understandable,” Liam said. He kissed Zayn’s wet shoulder and picked up the shampoo to start massaging it into Zayn’s hair.

 

“I am sorry though,” Zayn said with a sigh.

 

“Baby, what is this really about? I know something else is bothering you and has been for days,” Liam murmured. He kissed the side of Zayn’s face as he continued to gently massage the shampoo in.

 

“Nothing really. My anxiety is best at being random. School is overwhelming, plus work, and hearing that I would have to be away from you for two weeks was a little triggering. I’m being clingy and I apologize.” Zayn was running his hand through the water and avoiding Liam’s gaze which indicated that he was feeling embarrassed and hiding something.

 

“I don’t want to be away from you either. I’m going to tell Niall to go on his own and I’ll handle things from here. I can’t leave you,” Liam said. He cupped some water in his hand and started to wash the shampoo out of Zayn’s hair.

 

“No. You have to go Li. I- I understand. I was being stupid before but I’m thinking with my head now and it’s fine. You need to go,” Zayn said. He turned around and kissed Liam gently.

 

“Zayn the way you panicked when I said I was leaving wasn’t stupid. It matters to you so I can’t just leave you like this,” Liam replied.

 

“No. Li…” Zayn sighed and grabbed the washcloth to start washing Liam’s chest and shoulders. “I swear to you. I’ll be fine. You can’t abandon a massive project and let it get screwed over because of me. I can’t ask that of you. You have to go. I’ll be okay. It’s two weeks, right? I have classes and work. I’ll be really busy. Plus, I have three tests which will keep me occupied.”

 

“Sweetheart,” Liam murmured and cupped his face to kiss his forehead. “You can tell me if you really want me to stay. Don’t lie to me.”

 

“Obviously, it would be better if you didn’t have to go. But that’s unreasonable and selfish of me to ask. I’m just a fool in love,” Zayn whispered.

 

“I’m a fool in love for you too baby,” Liam said with a tender smile.

 

“I know. And you’re absolutely incredible for thinking of sacrificing an important work trip for me. But you can’t. You have to go and I’ll be fine. You have to call me everyday though,” Zayn said with a weak smile.

 

“I’ll call you five times a day,” Liam replied. He tugged Zayn forward and enveloped his lips in a deep, passionate kiss. “But are you one hundred percent sure?” Liam asked again.

 

“Yes. I promise. You should go.” Zayn hugged him tightly and kissed his neck. “I’m going to miss you so, _so_ much. I’m going to ache with it. But you’re going to be back soon enough and then you’ll see me glued to your body for days.”

 

“If you didn’t have classes I would take you with me,” Liam said.

 

“I know. But life is such… unfair… but life. The feeling of missing someone is the heavy reminder of just how much we love them. How much they consume our mind and heart. And that is how I’m going to be feeling. If I miss you so much and ache for you so much, it’s only because I love you so fucking much,” Zayn explained, teary eyed.

 

“My love, you have no idea then, how torn up I am right now,” Liam said. Zayn let out an unintentional whimper and Liam wrapped him up in a hug again.

 

“Come back fast,” Zayn said in a cracked voice.

 

“With you in mind, I’ll be back before you even know it,” Liam said with a kiss to Zayn’s temple.

 

The water was running cold so they stepped out of the tub. Liam wrapped Zayn in a massive fluffy towel and dried his hair off with another. After he finished drying himself off, he scooped Zayn up and walked back to bed. The lights were off and there was just the city lights shining in from outside, washing the room in a blue hue. Liam lay Zayn down on top of the white sheets who was still wrapped in a cocoon of the towel. Liam had a towel around his own waist as well. He lay down beside Zayn and drew him into the warmth of his arms to kiss his soft lips.

 

Zayn sighed in relief and molded himself to the front of Liam’s body. Zayn reached down and untied Liam’s towel. When Liam looked at him, Zayn’s eyes were heavy and desperate. Liam stroked a thumb across Zayn’s sharp cheekbone and pressed his lips to the spot. His hand smoothed down Zayn’s body to push his towel off too. The boy started shivering so Liam grabbed the comforter and drew it over their bodies to give them some warmth.

 

“Come here,” Liam whispered softly. Zayn shuffled forward under the comforter and pressed himself to Liam’s body again. “Did you know that I love you so, so, _so_ much?” Liam asked in a hushed tone.

 

“I do know,” Zayn stuttered out softly. “And I love you too.”

 

“You’re my whole world, angel.” Liam pushed Zayn back against the bed then rolled on top of him. Zayn watched him, his gaze soft, and his skin smelling of the lavender from the bath. Liam peppered kisses to Zayn’s face then started kissing down his chest. When he reached Zayn’s stomach he slowed his kisses down and took time to run his lips tenderly across the skin. Zayn was always really sensitive on his stomach and Liam loved paying special attention to it. Zayn’s skin was already breaking into goosebumps and Liam kissed his way down to Zayn’s hipbones.

 

Zayn was becoming hard and Liam trailed kisses down to his thighs. Zayn quickly became breathless and started letting out tiny whimpers as Liam lavished his thighs with kisses and started sucking on the skin gently. He started stroking Zayn as well. When he was hard, Liam licked up his shaft and started using his mouth to bring him to the brink of pleasure. Zayn moaned out from above him and Liam went faster. It didn’t take long before Zayn came into his mouth with a cry. Liam was about to move away when Zayn pressed the lube bottle into his hand and looked at him with lidded eyes.

 

“Please. You’re going to be gone for a while,” Zayn whispered.

 

Liam kissed his lips then poured some lube onto his hand to start tracing Zayn’s entrance. As he opened him up gently, he kissed all over Zayn’s face murmuring about how much he loved him and adored him. Zayn’s eyes were leaking tears again by the time he was prepped. Liam went to put a condom on but Zayn stopped him. They exchanged a heated glance but Zayn hastily kissed him and urged him forward.

 

“I want to feel everything tonight,” Zayn whispered shakily.

 

Liam covered Zayn’s face in kisses as he pushed his leg up and started pushing in. Zayn gasped a few times but eventually Liam was full sheathed. Zayn cupped his face shakily and kissed him. Liam ran his tongue into Zayn’s mouth to ravish his sweet taste and started moving slowly. Zayn wrapped his legs around Liam’s waist and gripped him tightly. Like he was trying to hold on forever. Liam cupped Zayn’s face with one hand as he pressed endless kisses to his cheeks and lips and ran his other hand down to stroke his hard length.

 

Their bodies were entwined as one, covered in a thin layer of sweat, blanketed by the comforter and drowning in love. As they both neared their climax, Liam quickened his pace and pressed Zayn’s hands down into the mattress. Zayn spurted across his abdomen, untouched, and Liam followed soon, filling Zayn up with his warmth. Zayn gasped at the new feeling of having Liam’s cum inside him directly. Liam caught his lips in a kiss and held onto him, not pulling out just yet.

 

When Liam finally did pull out slowly, he left a kiss on Zayn’s forehead. Zayn gripped onto his hand tightly as Liam grabbed their discarded towels and cleaned them both up as best as he could. He left a kiss on Zayn’s hip after cleaning him up and tossed away the towel. Zayn was smiling dopily at him as Liam wrapped him up into his arms and kissed him.

 

“I love you baby. I love you so much,” Liam murmured. He pushed Zayn’s sweaty hair back and kissed along his hairline.

 

“Love you too meri jaan,” Zayn mumbled sleepily. “Can you sing me a song as I sleep?”

 

“Me? You’re the one with the incredible voice,” Liam chuckled.

 

“You have a really nice voice. I’ve heard you sing. And I just want to fall asleep to your voice.” Zayn sighed as he placed his head on Liam’s chest and hugged him tightly.

 

“Alright.” Liam kissed his head as he stroked his hair. Zayn was falling asleep on his chest and Liam stroked his face feeling nothing but adoration and love for him as Zayn looked angelically peaceful. Liam smiled at him and began to softly sing what popped into his head.

 

“Wise men say… only fools rush in. But I can’t help falling in love with you…”

 

As Liam sang the song that was so intertwined in their love story and looked down at Zayn in his arms, feeling nothing but heart crushing love, Zayn smiled.

 

 

 

**

 

 

Zayn woke up to some commotion. He opened his eyes and found his face squashed in Liam’s pillow. Liam’s scent was lingering on it and Zayn inhaled deeply. He felt a soreness in his limbs and his ass but he smiled when he remembered how Liam had made love to him last night. It had been wonderful. Zayn had freaked out on Liam and released all the panic and anxiety Jason had caused him. Liam hadn’t deserved that and he had been so concerned. The second panic attack had been uncalled for, but the way Liam had cared for him made him ache in a good way. Zayn wanted to send him off without any worries so he wanted to make sure Liam didn’t see any more anxiety in his face or have any hint of anything else. He would wait to talk about Jason after Liam returned.

 

It was 6 a.m. and Liam was meant to be leaving soon. He wasn’t in bed so he was probably downstairs where the noise was coming from. Zayn took a quick shower, highly aware that he still smelt like sex. Then he threw some clothes on and went downstairs in search of Liam. Zayn walked into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes tiredly, and stopped as he saw multiple people in there. Liam was leaning against the kitchen island, sipping his coffee and looking at something on his iPad. Mary was laying out breakfast items on the island. Ameera was sat on a barstool talking on the phone as she sipped her coffee. Niall was eating one of Mary’s muffins and typing away on his phone. There was another man and a woman who Zayn had never seen before, leaning against the kitchen counter and pouring over a paper. Zayn slowly walked in and headed straight to Liam. He ducked under Liam’s arms without any warning and crashed against his chest.

 

“Morning,” Liam said warmly and pushed a hand into his damp hair before kissing his temple.

 

“Mmmph.” Zayn kept his eyes closed, ready to fall asleep standing up, his arms wrapped around Liam.

 

“Want some breakfast, darling?” Mary asked him. She didn’t wait for him to answer and just pushed a muffin towards him. Zayn stayed wrapped in Liam’s arms and picked up the muffin to chew on it slowly.

 

“You should go back to sleep. You’re exhausted,” Liam said gently.

 

“Wanted to say goodbye,” Zayn croaked. “Couldn’t let you leave without it.”

  
  
Liam hummed and tipped his face up to kiss him. “I love you baby. And I’m going to miss you so fucking much.”

 

Zayn nodded. He knew he couldn’t say anything because he would start crying again and he couldn’t do that in a room full of people. Liam understood and just pecked his lips multiple times.

 

“You know, you can stay here if you want while I’m gone. You might feel better with Ray around. Plus, your campus isn’t too far from here and Patrick can drop you off every day,” Liam suggested.

 

“Okay,” Zayn replied. He realized that being in Liam’s space and around his things might numb the pain of missing him just a little. “I might later on. I have a test today and a shift at work so I have to leave in a bit.”

 

“That’s fine. Come by whenever. Just to visit or stay over. You have your key. And someone needs to check on Ray,” Liam said. Zayn nodded and grasped Liam’s hand to press kisses to it. Liam pulled him in to press his lips to Zayn’s forehead and just hold him.

 

“We need to go Liam,” Ameera said as she walked past them to grab her bag. She shot Zayn a sympathetic look and came over to kiss his head. “Take care Zaynie.”

“Gonna miss you peanut!” Niall wrapped his arms around Zayn from behind so that the boy was sandwiched between him and Liam.

 

“Get off Niall,” Liam pushed him away. Niall grinned and ruffled Zayn’s hair before walking out the kitchen. Everyone else had left the kitchen as well. Liam hugged him so tightly that Zayn felt like the air was leaving his lungs. And he didn’t care because he wouldn’t be able to breathe until Liam came back anyways.

 

“Are you going to be okay?” Liam asked.

 

“I will,” Zayn answered. He gave Liam a small smile and leaned up to kiss him. “I love you, jaan. Just please come back as soon as you can?”

 

“I swear,” Liam whispered and placed his hand over Zayn’s heart. “You will be on my mind constantly, angel. I’m going to try and come back as quickly as possible. And when I do come back, I’m going to hold you and never let go. I’ll make love to you like last night. So good, your body will ache for weeks.”

 

“I love you,” Zayn murmured, teary-eyed. He wrapped his arms around Liam and hugged him tightly as Liam kissed him on his head. They were holding each other for a few minutes before Niall popped in and reminded Liam that they needed to leave.

 

Zayn put on his slippers and went with Liam down to the lobby, gripping his hand tightly in the elevator. When they reached the sidewalk where Patrick was waiting in the car, Zayn’s heart started hammering and he felt like he might break down again. Liam turned around and cupped his face.

 

“Just know… that if anytime you feel like you’re way in over your head, you can call me. You can ask me to come back. I will drop everything and come back to you in a heartbeat. You’re my everything angel, the moon of my life.” Liam smiled and Zayn smiled back shakily. He threw himself into Liam’s arms and the man lifted him off the ground as they kissed. They kissed with a desperate longing even though they hadn’t parted yet. Ameera had to cough and gently remind Liam they would be late and that’s when Liam finally set him down. Zayn gripped his hand with the Zayn tattoo on it and kissed his palm.

 

“I love you,” Zayn whispered.

 

“I love you more,” Liam replied and kissed him one more time. Then he pecked Zayn’s forehead and nose and got into the car with a last smile. Zayn wrapped his arms around his own body and watched as Liam’s car drove away, waving at him with a tiny smile.

 

Zayn went back up the penthouse forlornly. He passed by the kitchen where Mary was cleaning up and gave her a tiny smile. He found Ray and went back upstairs to collapse into bed.

 

“How are we going to survive so long without him bubs?” Zayn asked Ray in a tearful voice. He pecked Ray’s small head and held onto him as his chest threatened to explode with sadness.

 

 

**

 

 

Black and white. All of his drawings were black and white these days. Nothing seemed deserving of colour at the moment. Zayn shaded in the lines of the sketch he had made of Liam and Ray. All he drew these days was Liam or something Liam related and kept it black and white. Without Liam around, things felt bleak anyways.

 

“Zay want to get pizza?” Harry was pulling on a shirt and looking at him expectantly. Zayn was lying on his bed in their dorm room, making his sketch, and he shook his head at Harry.

 

“No,” Zayn answered.

 

“Come on babe. You’ve been like this for the past few days. It’s already been four days since Liam left. He’ll be back in about a week. Don’t stress yourself out so much. Sadness is unhealthy.” Harry pecked his forehead and sat down beside him.

 

“I’m fine Haz,” Zayn mumbled.

 

“Yeah because you look totally fine.” Harry looked at him with a raised eyebrow and Zayn sighed. Truthfully, he did look like a mess, because he felt like a mess. He was in his PJs on a Friday evening, had an empty carton of ice cream beside him, an empty box of Oreos, and his bed was a pillow fort which he had adjusted to lie in for hours on end.

 

“I’m okay, Haz. Honestly. I’m going to Liam’s place anyways. I need to check on Ray and I’m going to stay over for the weekend. Possibly the rest of the week. I just feel better over there.” Zayn shot Harry a small reassuring smile.

 

“Did Liam call today?” Harry asked.

 

Zayn shook his head and Harry smiled knowingly. “No wonder you look so down,” Harry said.

 

“He’s been busy. He texted me. He’ll call before bed though,” Zayn said. He shut his sketchbook and was about to get up from the bed when his phone buzzed. He grabbed it thinking it was Liam, but it said ‘blocked number.’ Zayn stared at it unbelievingly for a few seconds because he hadn’t gotten any creepy messages these past few days. Why now? He hadn’t seen Jason on campus either and just assumed they were both linked and thought the messages had stopped. Clearly not.

 

**From Blocked Number: I’ve missed you sweet thing. Now that your boyfriend is out of town maybe you and I can get to know each other better. You know, intimately. Like you and Liam do.**

 

Zayn breathed heavily as he read it. Then without even thinking, he threw his phone across the room and watched as it hit the wall and the screen shattered.

 

“Zayn…” Harry breathed, horrified. “What…”

 

“It’s him again…” Zayn said shakily.

 

Harry walked over to the dropped phone and picked it up. “Just a few cracks, you’re lucky.” He came back over and handed it to Zayn. “Zay, I’m worried that this could escalate. You haven’t told Liam and you’re not telling anyone else. What do you plan on doing?”

 

“I don’t know. I thought it stopped. I don’t know. I’m stressed- I have two tests this coming week, I’m tired after work today, I miss Liam so fucking much. And I just can’t deal right now. I genuinely don’t know how to stop it,” Zayn replied, defeated.

 

“If it’s Jason… maybe you should report it. He did come on to you as well,” Harry said.

 

“But he’s not threatening me in the texts Harry. It’s just inappropriate messages. This isn’t technically illegal so we can’t really do anything with it. It’s going to be useless reporting it anywhere.” Zayn got off the bed and started packing his backpack.

 

“Well maybe you can tell Liam when he’s back. He can at least get it tracked down,” Harry answered.

 

“Probably,” Zayn murmured.

 

“You sure you’ll be fine at Liam’s place all alone?” Harry asked.

 

“Yeah. I have Ray.” Zayn smiled at Harry as he put his textbooks into his bag.

 

“Well at least come have pizza with me and Louis first. I miss you and I barely ever see you these days.” Harry looked at him with exaggerated sadness and Zayn laughed a little.

 

“Fine. Although I pretty much feel like I’m intruding onto your sexual tension,” Zayn said with a grin.

 

“Oh, shut up.” Harry smacked him but he was smiling. “I mean I like him. I really do. But we were talking the other day and he mentioned how he doesn’t do serious relationships. He had a boyfriend in high school but the guy was closeted. Lou was initially okay with it but the dude would act like a jackass to him in public and eventually he broke up with him. I guess it must have been hard on him because he has a strict casual sex rule now.”

 

“But babe, you’ve always been okay with that, haven’t you?” Zayn asked.

 

“Yeah… but… I really like Louis,” Harry said in a low voice.

 

“Aww, Hazzle,” Zayn cooed. He wrapped his arms around Harry and kissed his head. “I think you guys would be amazing together. But don’t throw yourself into a casual sex thing if you know you might fall for him and he won’t. Although he would be an idiot not too because you’re amazing. But be careful with your heart. This heart is more tender than we know. We often forget it can handle only so much pain.”

 

“My philosophical darling.” Harry kissed his cheek and squeezed him.

 

“I’m aspiring to be one of those agony aunts with the advice,” Zayn said with a grin.

 

“You must be riot in bed,” Harry teased.

 

“Well Liam seems to think so since he can’t get enough.” Zayn smirked and got up from the bed. Harry snorted in surprise and started laughing.

 

“Leak your sex tape.” Harry waggled his eyebrows daringly.

 

Zayn threw a balled-up shirt at Harry’s head, although he was grinning. And he thought in his head, that when Liam returned, he would casually drop the idea because it made his skin heat up with arousal.

 

 

**

 

 

Liam walked into his hotel room and tossed his jacket, keys and phone onto the table in the lounge area. He went straight into the bathroom and took a shower, then pulled on just a pair of sweats and fell onto the bed. He lit up a cigarette and took a long drag. It had been a long day on site for the new casino and club and he had just gotten free from work. All he could think about was Zayn and how much he missed him. They had been texting constantly and talked on the phone for hours every night. Today had been a really buy day so they had only exchanged a few texts and hadn’t spoken yet. Liam went to grab his phone and noticed that he had a text from Zayn that had come in when he was showering.

 

Liam turned on the TV for background noise and fell onto the bed again as he unlocked it to read Zayn’s text. He hadn’t expected a photo and when he saw it, he almost choked on smoke. Zayn was lying on Liam’s bed in a pool of white sheets. He was wearing nothing but a tight pair of black briefs which were pulled dangerously below his hipbones. His hair was ruffled and messy around his head in a halo of inky black. He was pouting at the camera, his lower lip pushed out, looking wonderfully pink. He had sent an adjoining text saying, ‘missing you.’

 

“Baby boy,” Liam murmured. He felt his dick start to stir and he clicked on FaceTime call for Zayn. It rang only twice before Zayn picked up. He looked a little flushed and he was still lying in bed.

 

“Jaan.” Zayn sighed happily.

 

“I see someone has started experimenting with adult photography,” Liam teased, using Zayn’s term from the time in his dorm room.

 

“Don’t make fun of me.” Zayn pouted and furrowed his brow. “I-it was impulsive. I just missed you.” Zayn started blushing heavily.

 

“Baby. I love it. You’re so beautiful and so fucking sexy. I could bust,” Liam said.

 

“Says you,” Zayn murmured and bit his lip.

 

“Hmm.” Liam grinned and dropped his hand to stroke himself lazily through his sweats. “If I were there I’d be peeling those briefs off you and then holding you down by your hips so that I could take my tongue and run it down to your sweet spot. And make you moan and cry until you’re a breathless, blushing mess.”

“Li,” Zayn stuttered. His eyes were wide with desire and his cheeks were crimson. “Don’t do that. It makes me wish you were here right now to carry that out but it’s going to be so long.”

 

“Well how about you take your briefs off anyways and take yourself into your hand?” Liam suggested in a low voice. “I want to see you come with just my words.”

 

“B-babe,” Zayn stammered.

 

“Come on baby,” Liam said with a smile.

 

Zayn flushed and gave him a small smile. Then he set his phone down and all Liam saw was a flash of skin as Zayn peeled his briefs off. A few seconds later, Zayn picked it up looking even more flushed.

 

“Now?” Zayn asked.

 

“Now start off by stroking yourself slowly,” Liam instructed.

 

It took a few vivid instruction and husky whispers that detailed how much Liam actually wanted to be there touching Zayn himself, that the boy’s hand shook and the phone fell from his grasp as he moaned out Liam’s name and came. Liam could hear him panting on the other end and his own dick was painfully hard. Zayn picked the phone up after a few moments and his cheeks were bright red, his eyes heavy lidded and blissed out.

 

“Th-that was amazing,” Zayn whispered.

 

“Send me a picture,” Liam said with a grin.

 

Zayn flushed but after a few moments Liam got a picture of Zayn’s abdomen covered in in cum. Liam groaned and squeezed his dick for some relief. “You’re unreal baby,” Liam murmured.

 

“I love you,” Zayn said. “And I miss you so fucking much.”

 

“I miss you too angel. Like you don’t even know,” Liam replied.

 

“I’m going to go get cleaned up and then I’ll call you back in a second?” Zayn asked.

 

“Go ahead,” Liam said with a smile.

 

 

**

 

 

“Take off, take off, take off all your clothes…”

 

Zayn sang along to Lana Del Rey playing on the music system as he arranged books on the shelves in his room at Liam’s place. He felt much better after he had spent two hours talking to Liam on the phone. The phone call had started off in a surprising manner where they ended up having phone sex but then Zayn had cleaned up and spent two hours just talking to Liam. Listening to his deep laugh and looking at his face through the phone screen had settled some of the sadness he had been feeling all day. Although he just craved to be in Liam’s arms, being at his place was helping. Ray was lying on the rug, licking his paw lazily as Zayn moved around the room.

 

“Should we have dinner Ray?” Zayn wondered. Ray just gave a small meow and Zayn grinned at him. “I’m going to eat leftover pizza and you-“

Zayn’s phone interrupted him with a notification for a text. He picked it up and saw the notorious blocked number on the screen. His good mood suddenly started to sink. Zayn thought about ignoring it, but something was prickling his skin and he unlocked his phone, the screen still cracked from before, and read the text. It felt like the ground had been pulled from beneath his feet. There was a picture of Liam’s building from right outside and a message that said,

 

**From Blocked Number: Won’t you invite me up? You’re going to need someone to keep you warm with your boyfriend away. Come on baby, how long will you make me wait?**

Zayn sank to the ground on shaky legs and squeezed his hand into a fist. He wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He wanted to throw up. His heart was beating so fast, he felt like it would physically rip out. He let out a distressed cry by accident and Ray walked over to him as if he sensed something was wrong.

 

“He’s here!” Zayn exclaimed in terror. He grabbed Ray and hugged him to his chest as he glanced towards the windows, feeling distressed. “What the fuck do I do. Ya Allah.” Zayn felt so afraid in the moment and he wished he was back home in Brooklyn, safe with his family. Or more yet, Liam was here. Zayn got up and ran downstairs to the main floor. He looked out the peephole for the main door and saw that the private lobby outside Liam’s apartment was empty. People needed the elevator code to even get up to this floor since only Liam’s penthouse covered the entirety of it. Zayn then checked the security system and saw that the door was armoured and locked. His phone pinged again, this time a photo of the lobby downstairs accompanied with another text.

 

**From Blocked Number: I want to fuck you in that massive penthouse.**

Zayn grabbed a fistful of his hair and started crying in frustration. This was not happening. This person- Jason or whoever- was actually outside. Zayn ran all the way up to the second floor and went into the safest room in the house. Liam’s office. It had a security code to get inside since important documents and Liam’s safe was in there. Zayn punched in the code and shut the heavy door behind himself. Then he sat on the couch and dialed Harry’s phone number. He stroked Ray’s head with shaky hands as his tears fell.

 

“What’s up Zay?” Harry answered.

 

“Haz! Haz, oh my God! He’s here- he’s here!” Zayn yelled in distress.  

 

“Zayn slow down. Who’s here?” Harry sounded frightened from Zayn’s tone.

 

“The blocked number! They’re sending me pictures of Liam’s building from downstairs and saying they want to come up! Haz what’s happening? I- I’m so afraid,” Zayn cried out.

 

“Babe. Stay calm. Breathe. Lock up all the doors. I’m coming over. Do not leave until I text you that I’m outside the door. Text me Liam’s elevator code.” Harry sounded alert and his words were rushed.

 

“O-okay. Please, please, please hurry Haz!” Zayn felt his body was ready to combust in panic.

 

“Zay, I’m on my way. I swear I’m getting there as fast as I can. Lou is with me. Don’t panic. Stay on the phone with me.” Zayn could hear another loud voice behind Harry as Louis asked him what was going on.

 

“Should I call the police?” Zayn asked.

 

“He’s probably gone by now. I’m guessing he was just scaring you and left right after. The police won’t do anything to help because like you said, there’s no outright threat. The most they’ll say is to be careful and let them know if it gets more serious. But I’m coming over. And if I see Jason out there, I will kill him,” Harry said angrily.

 

“Okay,” Zayn said, taking a deep breath. “Haz, I’m so frustrated. Why me? I’ve never hurt anyone.”

“Zay that’s what I keep wondering. You’re the last person on earth to deserve any of this. But don’t worry. We’re in a cab and we’re like twenty minutes away,” Harry reassured.

 

Zayn stayed on the line with Harry and told him the elevator code when he arrived. Harry informed him when he was outside Liam’s main door and Zayn left the office warily. He bolted down the stairs and looked out the peephole to see Harry and Louis. Zayn unlocked the door quickly and hugged Harry.

 

“We’re here babe,” Harry soothed. Zayn nodded shakily and shut the door behind them, locking it and checking the security system once again.

 

“Liam has a control system on this tablet where he can monitor the lobby just outside the door and the main lobby downstairs as well. I’ve been watching it ever since the message came and I didn’t see Jason,” Zayn said.

 

“Yeah I asked the night guard downstairs if there was anyone suspicious hanging around downstairs and he said nothing was different. There was a group of people leaving a party a little while ago so if there was anyone hanging around they unfortunately blended in,” Louis said.

 

“I’m so sorry for ruining your evening guys,” Zayn said, feeling horrible. “I freaked out when those messages came and my heart rate won’t slow down.”

 

“Can I see the messages?” Harry asked.

 

Zayn handed his phone over and both the other boys read them with shock and anger.

 

“What the fuck?” Louis whispered. “This is so fucked up.”

 

“I don’t know what to do,” Zayn said as a tremble ran through his body.

 

“Let’s get you in bed. Lou, could you make Zayn a cup of chamomile?” Harry asked.

 

“Sure,” Louis replied and disappeared towards the kitchen.

 

“Come on ZayZay.” They both went upstairs and Zayn curled up under the covers after finding Ray again. Harry laid down beside him and stroked fingers through his hair to calm him.

 

“Can you stay here with me? Till Liam gets back?” Zayn whispered.

 

“Of course I will,” Harry replied.

 

 

**

 

 

Zayn walked into the kitchen the next morning to see Louis sitting on a barstool with Ray. Louis was rubbing his back as Ray ate from his dish. Zayn smiled and went over to stroke Ray’s ear.

 

“Is Uncle Lou giving you breakfast?” Zayn asked in a soft voice.

 

“He’s the most gentle, sweetest cat I’ve ever come across. I’m more of a dog person, but your cat I love,” Louis said with a smile.

 

“Ray is special,” Zayn answered. He went over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water to drink. Last night Harry and Louis had both waited up with him in Liam’s bed till he fell asleep and had dozed off beside him themselves. They had all fallen asleep on the bed, and Zayn had woken up alone. He still felt uneasy after last night but he was glad that he had his friends.

 

“I didn’t peg Liam as a Coco Pops kind of guy. He seems too healthy,” Harry remarked as he walked out the pantry holding a box.

 

“Those are mine. He buys them for me,” Zayn said with a small smile.

 

“How cute,” Louis cooed.

 

“Well his housekeeper Mary technically does. But he tells her what to get. I have my own cupboard of unhealthy snacks here.” Zayn opened the cupboard and motioned towards his supply of all kinds of sugary and savory junk food. The same cupboard he had upheaved the night of his panic attack. “Help yourselves.”

 

“Don’t mind if I do.” Louis tugged down a box of fudge cookies and a bag of Doritos and started digging in.

 

“You guys are disgusting,” Harry said as he bit into a banana.

 

“I have a shift at the café today so I have to leave. What about you guys?” Louis asked.

 

“I’m off this weekend. I’m going to visit my family today and then I’m coming back here,” Zayn said.

 

“Yeah I’ll come with you. I want to see my mom. But when you come back here I’ll come with you,” Harry told him.

 

“Lou, you can stay here for the week too if you want. But don’t feel like you have to just for me. I don’t want to bother anyone,” Zayn said.

 

“You’re the sweetest kid alive.” Louis grinned and ruffled his hair. “I’ll come back. I want to be here for you. I don’t want my tombstone to say, ‘killed by Liam Payne for failing to protect his boyfriend.’”

 

Zayn rolled his eyes but he smiled and hugged Louis. “Thanks.”

 

 

**

 

 

“Well if you’re staying at Liam’s place without him at least take some food with you.”

 

“Maa. Liam has a cook. She comes over and cooks for me even if he’s not there. I’m fine.” Zayn smiled at his mom as she put food into multiple Tupperware containers for him. Tricia gave him a look and continued to pack some rice.

 

“But you need some good desi food, jaan. You’re getting weak eating all that cafeteria food from your dorm,” Tricia said. She came over to him and kissed his forehead. “Take care of yourself pumpkin.”

 

“I miss your food every day,” Zayn told her. He wrapped his arms around his mom and breathed in her homely scent. He missed it so much and he felt so much better just by being in his family home and around his loved ones.

 

“I’m going to call Liam up and give him an earful. You have this lingering sadness in your eyes and I know it’s because you miss him. I don’t like seeing you sad,” Tricia said softly.

 

“I do miss him. I miss him so much that it hurts. But he’ll be back soon,” Zayn murmured.

 

“You know… he called me yesterday and told me to make sure you were okay,” Tricia said with a smile. Zayn felt his heart ache because of course Liam would pull something like that.

 

“He’s a wonderful man,” Tricia said and patted his face. Zayn nodded with a smile, unable to say anything.

 

“Ready to go, beta?” Yaser walked into the kitchen. He was dropping Zayn back to Liam’s place so that Zayn wouldn’t have to lug the food his mom gave him on the subway.

 

“Yes Baba.” Zayn took the massive bag of food from his mom and hugged her again. “I’ll miss you Maa. I’ll probably come over again in a few days.”

 

“You better. This house feels empty without you.” Tricia sighed and squeezed him.

 

“Don’t say that around Wali.” Zayn laughed.

 

“She misses you a lot. Just doesn’t say so,” Yaser said with a smile.

 

“I know. I miss you guys all the time,” Zayn said.

 

“Well when you come over next time I’ll make the beef lasagna you love, okay?” Tricia kissed his cheek and hugged him. “Khuda hafiz jaan.”

 

“Khuda hafiz Maa,” Zayn murmured. He walked over to the living room and hugged both his younger sisters goodbye, Safaa clinging tightly to him. Then he got into the car with Yaser, they picked up Harry, and drove back to Liam’s place.

 

 

**

 

 

“Have a nice day.”

Zayn smiled politely at a customer as he handed the girl a latte. She smiled back at him and walked out the café with her drink. Zayn was turning around to wipe down the counter when he caught sight of Jason entering the café. Zayn paused and stared at him speechless as Jason stared back at him. His face showed no emotion and he stared back silently.

 

“Zayn we’re good to go. Alexa and Gabriel are here for their shifts,” Louis said as he came up beside him. “Zayn?”

 

Zayn couldn’t respond and Louis looked at him confusedly, then turned to the door. He caught sight of Jason and his face tightened.

 

“Hey! You there!” Louis walked around the counter in anger but Zayn grabbed his arm. Jason gave a small smirk out of nowhere and turned and left the café without a word.

 

“No Lou! Not at work!” Zayn whispered and tugged him back.

 

“That fucker deserves to be punched for all the distress he’s putting you through!” Louis said.

 

“Let’s- let’s go,” Zayn murmured. He pulled Louis to the back room and threw his apron off and grabbed his bag. Louis grabbed his own bag as well and came over to Zayn.

 

“You don’t have to let it be Zayn. You have a right to be angry,” Louis told him.

 

“I know. But I can’t do confrontation. Especially not here. So, let’s go.” Zayn walked out without another word and heard Louis’ footsteps following him.

 

“Alright. Well we’re meeting Harry and the girls at the movie theatre and then we’re going to dinner afterwards. And then apparently we’re all going to your place?” Louis asked.

 

“Liam’s place,” Zayn corrected.

 

“Same thing,” Louis smiled. “But you’re okay with Tash and Shalini being at Liam’s place and knowing about you guys?”

 

“I think the whole world knows about me and Liam now. Shalini asked me after she saw me on Liam’s Instagram. And yeah, I’m okay with it. They’re cool,” Zayn replied.

 

“Awesome. Let’s make pot brownies,” Louis announced.

 

“No,” Zayn said firmly.

 

“You told me Liam keeps weed in his office. And you know rich people have that fancy stuff. Come on,” Louis pleaded.

 

“I’m not stealing my boyfriend’s weed,” Zayn said.

 

“So ask him. I doubt he’d care,” Louis said.

 

“Remind me why we’re friends?” Zayn asked with a groan.

 

“You love me.” Louis grinned and tugged Zayn into a side hug.

 

 

**

 

 

The early October chill was giving the night a brisk feel. There were light rain drops as well but Zayn didn’t care as he sat on the balcony outside Liam’s bedroom, with a blanket wrapped around him. Harry, Louis, Tasha and Shalini were all in Liam’s home theatre watching a movie. Zayn had left a little while ago to use the bathroom but had felt extremely down so he wandered onto the balcony. They had all been here for a few hours and after he had given the girls a tour of the place, they had all instantly wanted to watch movies in the home theatre. Everyone was in there with snacks and watching Disney movies while singing along to the songs, but Zayn felt sick with the feeling of missing Liam.

 

They hadn’t talked since yesterday morning and Zayn was ready to start crumbling. It had been close to two weeks, Liam wouldn’t be back for another two days, but Zayn couldn’t do it anymore. He felt like he had been walking ten miles with all the exhaustion his body felt. Fatigue stemmed from all the recent stress and from missing Liam immensely. Zayn felt tears prick his eyes and he blinked them back. Zayn had been staring up at the night sky letting the lighter rain drops trickle on to his skin in a sort of comfort as he thought of all the important moments he had spent with Liam in the rain. The first time they had kissed. The first time they had made love.

 

Zayn unknowingly started singing a song that reflected exactly what his heart was feeling. A song about loving someone so much that life was meaningless without them. That life was dedicated to that person. Needing them and wanting them more than anything or anyone else. As he sang into the quiet of the night, his phone rang and he looked down to see ‘Jaan’ across the screen.

 

“Hi,” Zayn answered in a soft tone.

 

“How’s my angel?” Liam asked.

 

“Alright,” Zayn replied.

 

“Just alright? Everything okay baby?” Liam questioned in a concerned tone.

 

“No,” Zayn said in a cracked voice. “I’m sorry jaan. I’ve been trying, I’ve been trying so hard. But my chest feels like there’s a boulder sitting on it. My heart- m-my heart is in actual pain. I miss you so much that it’s physically paining me. Allah knows I’ve held it together for two weeks while breaking inside. And I don’t want you to feel guilty, I swear on my life. But I can’t fake it anymore. I want you, I miss you, I love you.” Zayn sniffed and rubbed his sleeve across his eyes to wipe the tears. There was silence on the other end for a few moments and Zayn wondered if he had disconnected. But then Liam sighed.

 

“Baby… I’ve been snapping at people all day and close to losing my shit for real because I’ve been missing you so much. I think I might actually crack. I just want to hold you in my arms and kiss you for hours and hours until we both forget how to breathe or even feel the need for oxygen,” Liam replied with a deep sigh.

 

“I- I’m sitting on your balcony and just thinking of this song. It’s this love song about the intensity of wanting and loving someone so badly. Like an ode from one lover to the other about them being their only love, the only thing that matters for them. The singular most important thing. Thinking about how much I love you and how much I miss you made me think of the song,” Zayn whispered.

 

“My love…” Liam murmured. “Sing it for me?” Liam requested.

 

“I- it’s a Bollywood song,” Zayn murmured.

 

“It doesn’t matter. Even if I don’t understand the words, knowing that it comes from your heart, and in your beautiful voice, is enough to melt me. I fell in love with you when I first heard you singing in Urdu and I didn’t even know it yet,” Liam said in a soft voice.

 

“Jaan…” Zayn said with a blush on his face. His heart tried to rip from his chest and travel somehow to Liam in Vegas.

 

“Sing it for me, please?” Liam asked. “I miss you. I miss your voice. I miss your beautiful eyes. I miss your breath-taking smile.”

 

“Liam,” Zayn murmured in a shaky voice as tears spilled again.

 

“Don’t cry, angel,” Liam murmured. “It hurts me because I can’t comfort you in person.”

 

Zayn sniffed and nodded although Liam couldn’t see him. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath, then started singing in a soft voice.

 

_“Hum tere bin ab reh nahi sakte, tere bina kya wajood mera. Tujh se juda agar ho jayenge toh khud se hi ho jayenge juda. Kyunke tum hi ho... ab tum hi ho... zindagi ab tum hi ho. Chain bhi, mera dard bhi, meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho.”_

 

Zayn felt tears rolling down his cheeks as he felt the words in his heart. His voice was shaky but he continued to sing softly. _“Tera mera rishta hai kaisa, ek pal door gavara nahi. Tere liye har roz hain jeete, tujh ko diya mera waqt sabhi. Koi lamha mera na ho tere bina, har saans pe naam tera. Kyunke tum hi ho, ab tum hi ho. Zindagi ab tum hi ho. Chain bhi, mera dard bhi, meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho...”_

It felt like he was in another place. He closed his eyes and imagined that he was in Paris, in the rain, in Liam’s arms again. Liam’s lips touching his own, his hands touching his face, breathing each other in. Zayn continued to sing as he pictured himself with Liam. _“Tere liye hi jiya main, khud ko jo yoon, de diya hai. Teri wafa ne mujhko sambhala, saare ghamon ko dil se nikala. Tere saath mera hai naseeb juda, tujhe paake adhoora na raha. Kyunke tum hi ho, ab tum hi ho, zindagi ab tum hi ho. Chain bhi, mera dard bhi, meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho. Kyunke tum hi ho, ab tum hi ho, zindagi ab tum hi ho. Chain bhi, mera dard bhi, meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho.”_

Zayn finished singing and let out a shaky exhale. The intensity of the words he had just sung to Liam weighed down on his heart and. And he meant every single word. Liam was silent on the other end for a while. Then he sighed heavily. “God…Zayn… I love you so fucking much.”

 

“I love you too,” Zayn whispered. He got up from the chair and went inside to the bed to fall onto it. He left the glass doors open and felt the cool breeze flutter into the room bringing a few drops of rain with it. He had Liam’s hoodie on the bed which he had been sleeping with for the past week. Zayn tugged it forward along with Liam’s pillow and settled down comfortably with the phone to his ear.

 

“You’re unreal. You’re my blessing baby. And every single day, I fall more and more in love with you,” Liam said in a deep voice, dripping with love and want.

 

“All the stars in the universe could gather in congregation, and even with their combined force they still would not be able to measure up to the love I hold for you,” Zayn confirmed.

 

“Wow. You’re poetic. And I’m speechless,” Liam said with a chuckle.

 

“Just a thought,” Zayn murmured.

 

“Well you and your thoughts are incredible,” Liam responded.

 

“Li?” Zayn said hesitantly.

 

“Yeah baby?” Liam replied.

 

“Can you tell me a story? About anything. I just want to hear your voice as I fall asleep,” Zayn yawned tiredly.

 

“Sure. It may not be as romantic or beautiful as you singing that song to me. But I’ll try. Did I tell you about the time I went running with the bulls?” Liam said casually.

 

“What?” Zayn gasped.

 

“Yeah it was awesome. An insane adrenaline rush at the risk of losing your life,” Liam laughed. “So, four years ago…”

 

Zayn smiled and wiped away his remaining tears as Liam dived into the story of the time he went running with bulls in Spain.

 

 

**

 

 

“As awful as this sounds, don’t ever leave this man Zayn. Even if it’s just for this sick penthouse,” Natasha said with a laugh.

 

“Tash don’t be a shallow bitch. Zayn and Liam love each other.” Louis smacked his friend on the head and settled onto the sofa with a bowl of popcorn. Zayn just smiled weakly at them and fiddled with his Cartier bracelet.

 

“All I’m saying is if you suddenly don’t want a full on relationship, at least keep him as your sugar daddy.” She smirked jokingly at Zayn.

 

It was the day after he had cried to Liam on the phone, sang to him and then fallen asleep to his voice. Since Zayn had invited everyone to stay for the weekend, they had slept over the night before and now sat in the living room, playing on the Xbox and eating pizza. Everyone except Zayn. He sat on the sofa watching the TV screen absently, feeling sullen, while fidgeting with his Cartier bracelet.

 

“Zayn, you should eat before the pizza is gone,” Shalini said with a kind smile.

 

“I’m okay,” Zayn replied.

 

“Babe. Please cheer up. We can go get those milkshakes you love so much. Will that help?” Harry rubbed his leg comfortingly.

 

“Thanks, Haz. But I’m not hungry. Don’t mind me,” Zayn mumbled.

 

“Liam will be back tomorrow Zay. In the meantime you can occupy yourself by thinking of all the dirty things you’re going to do with him when he gets home,” Harry said with a sly grin.

 

“Honestly Haz.” Zayn rolled his eyes and smacked the other boy.

 

“No but seriously. Looking at you all depressed is making me think that Liam is a jerk for leaving you for so long,” Louis said as he shot a couple of people on screen.

 

“Yeah he’s a total jerk.”

 

Zayn felt like he was dreaming when he heard the voice that said that. He snapped his head to his right and almost passed out when he saw Liam. He was standing there, leaning against the pillar in the entranceway, his carry-on beside him and a tired but bright grin on his face. Everyone had turned in his direction and was silent.

 

“L-Li,” Zayn barely choked out, in shock. His mind was screaming in surprise and happiness, his heart was thundering and his body shook. He shot up from the couch and stumbled over an empty coke can as he rushed to get to Liam. Everything else was a blur. He ran straight to Liam and jumped at him with full force. Liam caught him in his arms and Zayn wrapped his arms and legs around the man tightly.

 

“Angel-“ Liam started. But he barely had a chance to say anything else because Zayn buried his face in Liam’s neck and burst out crying. He couldn’t even care that four other people were watching him. His heart had given out after being pent up with sadness and exhilarating emotions for two weeks. He had missed Liam so much that he could have choked to death on it. And seeing him here, a day early, out of the blue, was such a surprise that the water dams behind his eyes broke and he cried and cried while holding onto Liam for dear life.

 

“Aww,” Louis whispered from behind them.

 

“Zayn. Baby.” Liam hugged him tightly and kissed him all over his head. Liam tried to move him back but Zayn shook his head and kept his face buried in Liam’s neck. His body shook as he let out all his tears.

 

“It’s okay, baby. I’m back,” Liam whispered soothingly. “I missed you so much.”

 

“D-don’t leave me again for that long. P-please,” Zayn stuttered out through his tears.

 

“Never. I love you so much.” Liam cupped his face and kissed him passionately. Zayn sighed with utter relief into the kiss and felt a feeling of calm as his lips met Liam’s.

 

“Tum hi ho… bas tum hi ho…” Zayn whispered with an emotional laugh, not believing that he was awake right now, as he left endless kisses on Liam’s face and his lips. Liam recognized the words and smiled at him as he pulled Zayn in to kiss him breathless.

 

After a few moments of lingering kisses, there was some throat clearing from behind them. Zayn pulled back with a flush but Liam just smiled that God-damn charming smile of his and pressed loving kisses all over Zayn’s face.

 

“Why are you back a day early?” Zayn asked as his brain regained its functions again.

 

“After talking to you last night, I realized I couldn’t be away from you for another second. These past two weeks have been horrible. It hurt being away from you baby. And hearing you cry broke my heart. I needed to be back with you. So, I called for an early meeting and sorted the final things out quickly so I could come back,” Liam told him in a gentle tone.

 

“You can do that?” Zayn asked.

 

“I’m the boss,” Liam said with a smile.

 

“I love you,” Zayn said with a watery smile and kissed him again.

 

“Love you too, angel.” Liam embraced him and kissed him all over his head. After a few moments, Zayn realized his friends were still in the room and he climbed down from Liam’s arms in embarrassment. He turned around and saw that they were grinning at him. Zayn smiled, knowing that they were probably just happy that he wasn’t sad anymore. But he was a little embarrassed about breaking down in front of them.

 

“I’m going to shower really quickly and I’ll be back,” Liam said to him. Zayn nodded with a smile that refused to leave his face and kissed Liam before the man left the room.

 

“You were balling your eyes out,” Harry teased, fondly.

 

“Shut up Harry,” Zayn mumbled and wiped his eyes. Harry smiled and tugged Zayn in to kiss his head.

 

“It’s sweet. You really love him,” Shalini said.

 

Zayn nodded with a smile and sat back down on the sofa. It felt like the heavy rock that had been crushing his chest for days was finally lifted. He could breathe. Liam returned and brought back all the air with him. He brought back all the colour. Zayn spent the next fifteen minutes looking anxiously towards the stairs, waiting for Liam to return. When the man finally descended in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, his hair damp, Zayn felt his heart start to race with happiness. Liam smiled at him as he came back in. He scooped Zayn up and settled into his spot with Zayn in his lap.

 

“My baby,” Liam murmured. He cupped Zayn’s face tenderly and sprinkled soft kisses all over it. “My angel, my love, my heart. I missed you. And I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you too meri jaan,” Zayn whispered. He rested his head against Liam’s chest and inhaled Liam’s clean comforting scent. This was the stillness his raging heart had needed. His calm. Zayn closed his eyes as Liam ran his lips over his forehead and rubbed a gentle hand along his thigh.

 

“Alright you guys. We need to clear out,” Harry announced. “They clearly want to kiss and fuck and kiss some more but are too polite to throw us out.”

 

“Haz,” Zayn groaned in embarrassment. Liam was just smirking and he winked in Harry’s direction.

 

“I got your back Liam.” Harry grinned and held out his fist for Liam to bump.

 

“Good looking out Harold.” Liam laughed as he bumped Harry’s fist with his own.

 

Zayn got up from Liam’s lap as his friends started to gather their things. It took them a few minutes to locate everything from the guest bedrooms and living room. Zayn walked them to the elevator and thanked them all for staying with him when he really needed someone. They all hugged him and then left. Zayn rushed back into the apartment and went to look for Liam. He didn’t find him in the living room and he turned to go towards the kitchen.

 

“Jaan?” Zayn called out, wondering where Liam was. “Li-“

 

Zayn was grabbed from behind and slammed against a wall. He gasped in surprise but it was swallowed by Liam’s lips attacking his own. Zayn moaned and wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck, opening his mouth to let Liam push his tongue in.

 

“Fuck baby. I’ve missed you so much.” Liam ripped Zayn’s shirt off and lifted him, to push him against the wall again.

 

“M-me too,” Zayn breathed out. He grabbed Liam’s shirt and tugged it upwards to pull it off. When Liam was shirtless, he grinned at Zayn then grabbed his hands to pin them back and ravaged his mouth again. They were grinding against each other and kissing with desperation that had been building up for days and was now ready to explode.

 

"Wow."

 

Zayn snapped his head towards the intrusive voice and saw Louis standing there looking equal parts shocked and intrigued.

 

"That's pretty hot."

 

"Louis!" Zayn yelled, horrified.

 

"Sorry! I'm honestly so sorry for intruding but I forgot my wallet in your kitchen from when we paid the pizza guy earlier. And I let myself in because you forgot to lock the door. I didn't think I'd stumble onto this." Louis laughed but Zayn glared at him. Liam just looked highly amused.

 

"I'll be going. See you Monday, Zaynie." Louis gave him a grin and a wink and then left again, the door slamming behind him.

 

"Your friends have awful timing. I was going to fuck you up against this wall," Liam said with a smirk.

 

Zayn flushed but he kissed Liam lightly. "How about we go upstairs where there's lube and everything and you fuck me against that wall?"

 

"I like the way you think baby boy." Liam pulled away from the wall with Zayn in his arms and hurried up the stairs as they continued to kiss until their lips were bruised.

 

 

**

 

 

"Ronald, I really don't give a fuck about what you think. I've made it clear multiple times that I'll wait it out for the approval and then start the work. I'm not going to go ahead with the expansion anyways and then be hit with a lawsuit."

 

Zayn was laying on the ground of the living room, reading from his cell biology textbook. He glanced up at Liam who was sat on the sofa with his laptop and talking to someone he worked with on the phone. It was Sunday night, the day after Liam had come back. The past 24 hours since Liam had returned had consisted entirely of them holed up in the bedroom. Fucking hard and fast against the wall or on the floor. Or making love slowly in the sheets or in the bath tub. They had lost track of time and forgotten to eat as they made up for the time they had spent apart.

 

Now they had settled into doing their respective work as the next morning they had either classes or work. Zayn was studying for his biology test and Liam had been working on his laptop all evening and arguing with someone named Ronald who apparently wanted to take an illegal route for some expansion plans. Needless to say, Liam had been ripping him apart verbally.

 

"Daddy is angry," Zayn murmured to Ray who was curled up beside him, playing with a toy.

 

"That's my final word on this matter. Now I'll talk to you tomorrow because I have other important issues to attend to." Liam shut his phone and tossed it aside with irritation. He stubbed out the cigarette he had been smoking, with the same annoyance.

 

"Alright?" Zayn asked

 

"Yeah. People are fucking idiots. Ready to break the law for an easy way out. I don't operate like that," Liam answered.

 

"That's good though, jaan," Zayn said.

 

Liam hummed and smiled at him, then turned back to his laptop. Zayn watched as Liam became engrossed again. He wasn't interested at all in his own textbook right now. Despite the tireless love making of the past day, he felt like he still hadn't had enough. And Liam looked way too stressed out which he wanted to fix.

 

Zayn picked up his textbook and Ray both, and settled onto the sofa beside Liam. He placed his book beside himself and Ray into his lap as he looked at Liam. He was typing away on his laptop as frustration creased his forehead. Zayn edged forward and pressed a kiss to Liam's jaw. Liam turned his head only a fraction to kiss Zayn's forehead but then turned back to his laptop.

 

"Anything I can do to help ease your stress?" Zayn asked.

 

"Hmm? No everything's fine baby," Liam answered without pulling his eyes away.

 

"Okay," Zayn murmured. "But I can help make your Sunday evening better if you feel that it was ruined."

 

"Don't you have a test to study for?" Liam shot him a quizzical look with a hint of a smile.  

 

"Yeah…" Zayn answered. "But I'm done. I was just revising right now."

 

"I just have a bunch of things to take care of angel. I'm sorry." Liam squeezed his hand and turned back to his work.

 

"You just got back yesterday and we've been apart for two weeks where all you did was work. Maybe you can procrastinate a little?" Zayn suggested. He knew that Liam had work to take care of and he wouldn't usually bother him. But Zayn was in a teasing mood and he had missed Liam so much these past two weeks that he needed his fill.

 

Liam didn't seem to hear him and just nodded slowly as he grabbed a page from a file next to him and compared it to the image on his MacBook screen. Zayn sighed dramatically and fell back against the couch with Ray.

 

"Daddy really doesn't care about us Ray," Zayn said loudly, in a fake hurt voice. "He doesn't want to pay us any attention." He peeked his eyes up from Ray at Liam who was now looking at him with a raised brow and a small smirk. Zayn huffed and turned onto his stomach to face the other way. Liam just rubbed a hand up his leg and patted his ass before he went back to his work.

 

Zayn got off the sofa and Liam gave him a confused look, but Zayn just strode out of the room and went upstairs. If he wanted to divert Liam’s attention, he needed to do it right. He walked into Liam’s closet and found the item he had been looking for. He pulled it on with a smile and heated cheeks. The he strode back downstairs and sat back onto the sofa calmly.

 

“And where did you go?” Liam asked.

 

“Nowhere.” Zayn shrugged. “Figured if you couldn’t bother with me, I’d keep myself busy.”

 

“How so?” Liam asked without lifting his eyes from the email he was typing.

 

“You can find out if you like,” Zayn whispered and leaned forward to peck Liam’s neck.

 

“Baby, I would love to be doing you instead of doing this work, but I need to finish this and then I’m all yours,” Liam said and kissed his forehead.

 

“Fine. But just so you know,” Zayn said and pulled Liam’s MacBook out of his hands to set it aside. “Back in Barcelona, when I was shopping to prep for your birthday surprise. I bought more than what I showed you.” Zayn bit his lip as he straddled Liam and gave him a coy smile.

  

Liam inhaled deeply and his eyes darkened. “Oh really?”

“Mhm. Just some little-” Zayn hooked his thumbs into his trousers and tugged them down a little to reveal white lace, “-bits and pieces. More than the black one.”

 

“Baby,” Liam murmured and ran his fingers over the top of the lacy white panties peeking out.

 

“But you say you’re busy.” Zayn shrugged and went to move out of Liam’s lap but the man grabbed his hips and tugged him back.

 

“I don’t think so.” Liam smirked dangerously. “If you’re going to distract me from work and then tease me like _this_ -“ Liam squeezed his ass and Zayn gasped, “I think you need to be taught a lesson.”

“How?” Zayn asked breathlessly.

 

“How? Well I’m going to teach you some patience baby boy.” Liam stood up and pulled Zayn up with himself, his legs around Liam’s waist.

 

“I’ll be so good for you daddy,” Zayn breathed.

 

“I think you need to be punished just a little bit,” Liam murmured and kissed him roughly. He started walking towards the stairs and Zayn peeked over his shoulder to see Ray following them.

 

“Stay there, Ray!” Zayn said between giggles. Liam grinned at him, then walked up the stairs and into his bedroom, shutting the door. Zayn gasped as Liam tossed him onto the bed.

 

“Take off your clothes,” Liam ordered.

 

Zayn did so in haste and feeling out of breath from sharp arousal. Liam disappeared into his closet and came back shirtless and holding something in his hands. Zayn’s eyes widened when he noticed it was black handcuffs.

 

“You’ve been spoiled by all my attention and I think you should learn some patience baby,” Liam said in a low husky voice. He climbed on the bed and raised Zayn’s hands up above the pillow.

 

“I- I just want you all the time,” Zayn said. He was in nothing but the white lace panties and he could feel his dick stirring. Liam was looking down his body in hunger and when he met Zayn’s eyes, he smirked. He leaned down and claimed his mouth while biting his lower lip. Then he took Zayn’s wrists and handcuffed them to his headboard.

 

“Maybe I should tease you and bring you close to the edge, and then just leave you here waiting and go back to my work,” Liam suggested.

 

“No!” Zayn whined. “I- I have monophobia. I’m afraid of staying alone.” Zayn tried to be serious but his body shook and he giggled as he said the words.

 

Liam snorted and squeezed his hip. “Oh really?”

 

“Yeah. But my doctor says my condition is special and specifically linked to you. So, if you leave me alone I’ll be terrified. Possibly to death,” Zayn got out between laughs.

 

“Someone thinks they’re funny.” Liam smiled and ducked down to give him a softer, more fonder kiss.

  

“I think so.” Zayn giggled.

 

“Well I wonder if you’ll find this funny.” Liam started kissing down his chest and moved down to mouth over Zayn’s hard-on in the panties. Then he draped Zayn’s legs over his shoulders and pushed the panties aside. He gave Zayn another smirk and ducked down to push his cheeks apart and start licking.

 

Zayn threw his head back and tugged on the handcuffs as loud moans escaped his lips. Liam was relentless with his tongue and his beard was rubbing against Zayn’s sensitive skin, causing him to feel like his whole body was on fire.

 

“Liam!” Zayn whimpered loudly and thrashed on the bed. He tugged on the cuffs and pushed down onto Liam’s tongue harder.

 

“Stay still baby boy. I’m going to take my time,” Liam murmured. He kissed the round of Zayn’s cheek and thrust his tongue back in.

 

Zayn’s eyes rolled back into his head and he bit his lip so harshly that he tasted blood. He was completely at Liam’s mercy and he hadn’t felt this much arousal ever before. Zayn had his eyes closed and didn’t know what was happening, but suddenly the world was spinning and he was flipped onto his stomach.

 

“Li-“

 

Liam leaned up and kissed him, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. “You can’t come until I tell you to.”

 

Zayn moaned as Liam moved back to continue licking him and using his fingers to thrust them in and out. Carefully avoiding the spot Zayn wanted to feel them so badly. Zayn sighed in immense pleasure and knew he was in for a long night. The thought put a smile on his face.

 

 

**

 

 

“How long might it take?”

 

“About a week or two longer, Mr. Payne.”

 

Liam sighed and rubbed his forehead. It’s as if there were a million and one problems at the moment. The Vegas project was stressful enough given how massive it was, but the expansion plans he had for his London nightclub were creating problems. There were legal disputes over the land he was trying to expand on and some of his subordinates were trying to work around it, illegally. But he had shut them down quickly and said he would wait it out but it seemed that things were even more troubled. Apparently, the contractors he had hired had suddenly decided to drop the project and take on another one.

 

“Which company did they get hired by?” Liam asked.

 

“Uh…” His project head in London, Maya, was on the other end of the phone. She was typing furiously as she looked for the information. “Freeman Group of Hotels.”

 

“What?” Liam bit out as his hand clenched around the phone.

 

“Yes. Is there an issue, Mr. Payne?” Maya asked.

 

“Apparently, someone is so bitter they didn’t get a bid on the Vegas deal that they are now trying to sabotage my smaller projects. As if it will help him in any way,” Liam said with a harsh laugh.

 

“Oh. Well I don’t want you to worry. The private contractors that we also liked are willing to take the contract. But like I said, it might be a little longer,” Maya said.

 

“Alright. Well I’m gonna let you go now Maya. I’m going to forward you the newest plans and give me your feedback tomorrow,” Liam said with a tired exhale.

 

“Of course, Mr. Payne. Goodnight. Or good morning?” Maya said.

 

“Morning, evidently. Talk soon Maya,” Liam said and shut the phone.

 

Liam looked at the time and realized that it was 3 a.m. He had been in his home office for a few hours straight. It felt like years had passed since he had been in his room with Zayn, pleasuring him as the boy was handcuffed to the bed. But it had been a few hours and Liam had been working all night. He had left Zayn asleep in the bedroom and wanted nothing more than to join him, hold him in his arms and fall asleep. He had missed sleeping with Zayn when they had been apart. But every work problem seemed to be arising right now. And Max. That petty bastard could not handle losing the Vegas deal and Emilia and seemed to be taking an uncalled for revenge against Liam. Maybe it was because he was exhausted, maybe it was his anger, but he wanted to thrash Max. Liam turned to his laptop to send out a few quick emails. He was in the middle of one when the door to his office opened. Zayn stepped in looking exhausted and half-asleep. He was wrapped in a blanket as he padded in barefoot, his hair in disarray.

 

“Li? Why aren’t you in bed?” Zayn asked in a voice heavy with sleep.

 

“I’m so sorry, baby. I still have a few more things to take care of,” Liam said apologetically.

 

“I can’t sleep without you there,” Zayn said softly.

 

“Come here,” Liam said gently, holding his hand out. Zayn shuffled over and climbed into Liam’s lap to lay down. He pulled his legs up and curled up against Liam’s chest. “There’s just a few issues with work I need to handle. I want to be in bed with you, but I just need a few more minutes.”

 

“Jaan… I- I’m sorry if I distracted you before and pulled you away from work. You probably want to be sleeping, but because of me you’re having to work at 3 a.m.” Zayn looked so distressed and apologetic that Liam’s heart tugged.

 

“No, my love,” Liam said reassuringly. He leaned down and pressed kisses all over Zayn’s face as the boy’s eyes fluttered closed. “I probably would have been in here anyways because some unforeseen issues arose in London. I have zero regrets about abandoning work and being with you.” Liam smiled at him and traced his finger over the planes of Zayn’s face. Zayn smiled tiredly and snuggled closer to Liam.

 

“I’m sorry work is so stressful,” Zayn murmured sleepily.

 

“It’s fine. Nothing in life comes easily. We work hard for the things we care about and love,” Liam said and looked down at Zayn’s face. His breathing was evening out and he seemed to be falling asleep again. “I love you, angel.”

 

“Love you too. I feel safe now that you’re back. I was so scared when you were gone. Especially with him around,” Zayn mumbled, half-asleep.

 

“What?” Liam asked, confused. “Who are you talking about?” He had no idea why Zayn was talking about feeling unsafe or who this ‘him’ was. But it was pinging Liam’s radar.

  
  
“Him…” Zayn slurred, barely audible. He was asleep. Liam rubbed his thumb over Zayn’s chin and leaned down to peck his lips and then left a lingering kiss on his forehead.

 

“Sleep well my love…” Liam murmured. He held onto Zayn and finished up his work as quickly as possible. It was nearing 3:30 a.m. when he finally finished. He shut his laptop, exhausted, and picked Zayn up carefully to walk back to his bedroom. He placed Zayn onto the bed, still wrapped in his blanket. He kissed him all over his face as he dropped down beside.

 

“Love you angel.” Liam pulled Zayn into his arms and kissed his forehead as he fell asleep instantly himself.

 

 

**

 

 

“A what?”

 

“A party.”

 

“No.”

 

“Zayn!”

 

Zayn groaned loudly and looked up from his laptop. He had been typing up a lab report for the past two hours when Harry had come into their dorm room to announce that they were going to a party. He had instantly declined.

 

“Harry. I don’t want to go. College parties are… not something I feel comfortable with. I’m just going to end up anxious or stuck in some corner wondering why I came,” Zayn said.

 

“Come on! It’s at a sorority. They throw the best parties. It’s better than frat parties at least.” Harry was tossing clothes out of his drawers as he looked for something to wear.

 

“All the more reason for me not to go,” Zayn mumbled. “Haz I have to finish this lab report tonight. I also have to start studying for my midterms.”

 

“Babe come on. Me, Louis and the girls are all going. It’s like a fall kick-off party.” Harry sat down beside and tugged his notebook away from him. “Please. For me?”

“Haz…” Zayn groaned.

 

“Zayn, I miss hanging out with you. And I don’t blame you for wanting to spend most of your time with Liam, but I need me some Zayn time as well. And I promise I won’t leave your side. We’ll go, have some drinks, dance, hang out with the others and then come back. If you want to leave early, I promise we can. It’s Friday night Zay,” Harry begged.

 

Zayn felt guilty when Harry said that he spent too much time with Liam and he missed him. It was kind of true. Especially the past few days since Liam had returned from Vegas, Zayn had been going over to Liam’s place or his office to be with him whenever he could. He and Harry had always been inseparable and ever since he started dating Liam, he realized he hadn’t spent a lot of time with Harry.

 

“I’m sorry Haz,” Zayn leaned over and hugged him. “I haven’t been a great friend have I?”

 

“Don’t say that. You’re an amazing friend. If you want to be with your boyfriend 24/7 you have the right. I just want to hang out with you outside of the time we spend in the dorm room. This party will be fun,” Harry said.

 

“Your stupid dimpled face is always capable of winning me over,” Zayn muttered with a small smile. Harry grinned and kissed his cheek sloppily

 

“Come on. Change your clothes. We gotta go.” Harry grabbed his clothes and started changing in the middle of the room.

 

Zayn sighed and saved his lab report. He got off the bed and looked through his clothes to pull on a simple tee and jeans with a light jacket on top since the weather had become chilly. He left his glasses behind and pulled on some shoes. When he was ready, he and Harry went down to the lobby where Louis and the girls were waiting.

 

“Zee you came!” Louis said happily and tugged him into a hug.

 

“Harry forced me,” Zayn replied with a smile.

 

“Thank God for Harry,” Natasha said with a grin.

 

They started walking to the sorority house, since it was just a short fifteen-minute walk. As they got closer to the place, Zayn’s stomach started rolling uncomfortably. It’s like his sixth sense was trying to tell him something. Zayn frowned and pushed the thought away, thinking that it was his normal anxiety associated with parties and strange people. They were still a street away when the music could be heard. It felt like the sidewalk was vibrating as well. Zayn instantly regretted coming. His steps slowed down, but Harry took his hand with a reassuring smile.

 

“It’ll be fine babe,” Harry said.

 

Zayn took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. When they got to the sorority house, he froze in his steps. It was- insane. The music pouring out was so loud, Zayn felt like he might go deaf on the spot. There were actual spotlights, like it was some concert, on the lawn. People were dancing on the lawn and on the roof. There were dropped cups and cigarette butts everywhere. Not to mention, the unmistakable smell of weed. They walked into the house, pushing past throngs of people, and Zayn gripped tightly to Harry’s hand. This was one hundred percent a bad decision. The inside of the house was crazier. There was a DJ up on a platform, strippers on poles and flashing purple lights over the crowds of people dancing.

 

“Drinks!” Louis yelled to them and pointed to the bar on the side. They pushed their way through the thick crowd and reaching the bar. Everyone else poured themselves drinks but Zayn refused. He took a cup of water instead and sipped it slowly.

 

“Just water Zayn? That’s no fun!” Shalini said to him.

 

“I don’t drink. Not really. I’ve drank probably twice in my life and got horribly drunk both times. I prefer not to. Especially if I’m in a strange place,” Zayn said. She smiled at him and patted his arm.

 

They stayed by the bar for a few minutes but soon enough everyone trickled away. First Natasha went to dance with some boy, then Shalini saw her friends and wandered off. Then Louis disappeared into the crowd to dance as well. Harry, true to his word, stuck by Zayn. But Zayn could tell that he was itching to go dance as well. He kept looking longingly towards Louis who was dancing with some other guy.

 

“Haz. You can go have fun. You don’t have to stick by me for no reason,” Zayn told him.

 

“I’m not going to leave you alone,” Harry affirmed.

 

“It’s okay, Harry. I’m going to go get some fresh air outside. I’ll find you in a bit or I might just go home. But I’ll call and let you know. You can stay. I want you to have fun.” Zayn squeezed his arm.

 

“You sure?” Harry asked.

 

“Positive,” Zayn replied. Harry looked at him for a few minutes, then he leaned over and hugged him. He disappeared into the crowd towards Louis. Zayn was about to turn to go outside when someone bumped into him and spilled beer on him.

 

“Sorry man,” the drunk guy muttered and staggered away.

 

Zayn groaned in irritation and set down his water to grab a bunch of napkins from the side. He dabbed at his shirt and dried it off as best as he could. When it was relatively dry, he grabbed his water and walked outside. He sat on the back steps and pulled out his phone. He decided he would give it a few more minutes for Harry’s sake and then go home. Zayn watched a couple who was tearing each other’s clothes off down the back lawn. They fell to the grass and started kissing and groping each other desperately. Zayn raised his eyebrows as the girl screamed ‘fuck me babe’ loudly. He hid his smile in his cup and finished the rest of his water. After a few moments, he pulled out his phone to check the time. His vision seemed blurred and he couldn’t make the time out properly. Zayn frowned and blinked but his vision seemed to get more unclear. And he felt strange. Drowsy, nauseous and a little off.

 

Zayn felt a little panicked and tried to stand but he got dizzy and stumbled. His muscles felt liquid and couldn’t move properly. He blinked and looked forward but he couldn’t see clearly. He couldn’t even tell where the couple who had been making out were anymore. He felt woozy but still his brain was telling him that something was horribly wrong. Zayn stumbled back inside, feeling nauseous. He staggered through the crowd and tried to locate a washroom in case he had to throw up. He had no idea why he was feeling like this. Zayn opened a door and to his luck saw that it was a bathroom. He fell to his knees beside the toilet and leaned against it wondering if it was a case of food poisoning. What else was the explanation for this?

 

His thoughts because more and more muddled and his eyes were threatening to close. He was highly aware of the fact that something was very wrong. He pulled out his phone with shaky hands but he couldn’t see his screen let alone dial a number. He kept pressing his home button until he heard Siri’s voice.

 

“C-call Har- Haz… Harry,” Zayn mumbled. He didn’t know if it went through or not but he leaned his head back against the wall as his eyes dropped closed. He needed to get out of here. But he couldn’t move. He couldn’t will his body to move or even call out for someone. He heard the faint sound of the bathroom being opened and he looked up to see a blurry shape.

 

“You okay?” The shape asked.

 

“H-help,” Zayn slurred.

 

“I got you,” The shape said. He knew that voice. It was male. It was deep. Was it Liam?

“L- Liam?” Zayn asked. There were hands on his arms helping him up now.

 

“Yeah, baby,” Liam said.

 

“Li I don- don’t feel good,” Zayn muttered. He clung to Liam as they walked out of the bathroom.

 

“You probably need to lie down,” Liam answered.

 

Zayn couldn’t even respond because his eyes were drooping. He just felt Liam’s hands on him as they walked. Where were they walking? Another door opened. Then something soft his back. Zayn realized he was lying on a bed.

 

“I wanna go home,” Zayn murmured. “Home…”

 

“You’re fine baby,” Liam whispered. Zayn blinked his eyes open and saw Liam’s blurry outline as he walked to the door and shut it. Something felt wrong. If Liam knew he was sick he would be worried. He would take him home.

 

“Li…” Zayn groaned. He tried to sit up but his body wouldn’t move and he sank back.

 

He felt hands on his face. Liam was touching his face in a strange way. Couldn’t he see that Zayn wasn’t feeling well?

 

“I feel sick Li…” Zayn said.

 

“You’re okay,” Liam murmured. He was touching his lips. Zayn let out a small sound and reached out shakily to touch him. Liam leaned forward and pressed his lips to Zayn’s. Zayn felt confused and kissed back momentarily but something was telling him that this felt off.

 

“I don’t- I don’t want to,” Zayn muttered and pulled away after a few seconds.

 

“Relax babe.” Hands held him down more firmly as another kiss was pressed to his lips.

 

“N-no,” Zayn let out with some effort. He pushed weakly, trying to push the heavy body off himself. Something wasn’t right. Why wasn’t Liam listening? Liam always listened to him. And Liam didn’t smell like that. His muddled and hazy mind slowly realized that it wasn’t Liam. There were hands peeling his jacket off as lips pressed to his neck.

 

“Stop,” Zayn cried out weakly. What was happening? He closed his eyes and prayed to Allah for this all to stop. He wanted to go home. He wanted this body to get off him. Zayn heard a door being banged open and then the heavy weight was gone from on top of him.

 

“Hey! Get off him you son of a bitch!” Zayn heard a loud yell. He tried to focus his eyes but he saw nothing but a couple of blurry figures pushing each other. Or were they fighting?

 

“Zayn! ZayZay! Babe oh my God! Babe please!” A frantic voice was yelling. There were soft hands cupping his face and rubbing his arms. Was that Harry? It sounded like Harry. And the vanilla scent seemed like Harry.

 

“Haz?” Zayn murmured.

 

“It’s me babe. It’s me. Lou help me!”

 

“I don’t feel good,” Zayn whimpered.

 

“I’m getting you home Zay. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” Harry was crying. He shouldn’t cry.

 

“I got you buddy.” That softer voice was Louis. Zayn closed his eyes, unable to stay awake anymore. The last thing he registered was a pair of arms picking him up as someone else shouted frantically.

 

 

**

 

 

“I don’t give a fuck about that! I’m going to call campus police right now!”

 

“Don’t you understand that it won’t help! He’s just another rich boy who can get off easily and it’ll do nothing but cause Zayn pain. And thank God nothing happened and Zayn is okay. Roofie pills wear off after a few hours and when Zayn wakes up he should feel better.”

 

It felt like stones were weighing down on his eyelids. And waves of nausea were rolling through his stomach. Zayn groaned and turned over slowly. He opened his eyes and flinched as sharp fluorescent light hit him. He blinked a couple of times and saw Harry, Louis, Natasha and Shalini sat on Harry’s bed looking angry, upset and arguing. Zayn tried to sit up but he felt sick and laid down again.

 

“Zayn!” Harry ran over to him and kneeled beside him. “Oh my God. Are you okay?”

Zayn nodded and pointed to a water bottle on his desk. Louis grabbed it and handed it to him. Everyone was watching him with concern as Zayn drank the water. Zayn wanted to ask them why they were yelling and looking at him like that. But to his sickening realization, he knew exactly why. His memory was fragmented and blurry but he remembered what had happened. He remembered bits and pieces up to when Harry and Louis had picked him up.

 

“Zayn… it was Jason…” Louis said in a careful voice. Zayn stared down at his hands and nodded slowly. Then his body started shaking. His eyes stung with tears and they started falling in thick silent streams.

 

“Zayn, I’m so sorry for leaving you behind. We had no idea he’d be there. I got your phone call but when I picked up I heard nothing but noise. I sensed something was up so I called you back. It took me a few minutes but I heard your phone ringing in a nearby bathroom. I knew something was up and so Louis and I came looking for you. Thank God we got there in time,” Harry said with a sigh.

 

“Do you know what- he did?” Zayn forced out. His mind was rushing through the night as he tried to think of when Jason could have slipped him the drug. Was it when he set his water down for a few moments after the guy spilled beer on him? Why hadn’t he seen Jason?

 

“Nothing like you might be thinking Zee. He- umm… he was kissing you but that’s all. Nothing more,” Louis said painfully. “Thankfully.”

 

“Thankfully?” Zayn laughed harshly. “He drugged me, took me to a bedroom, put me on a bed and started kissing me. With the intention of doing more. He told me he was Liam. For fucks sake he said he was Liam and I believed him and started to kiss him back!” Zayn yelled hysterically. “He was about to take my clothes off. Excuse me if I’m not thankful!”

 

“Zee, no! That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry,” Louis said and squeezed his hand.

 

“Do you want to call campus police and report it Zayn?” Shalini asked carefully.

 

“What’s there to report really?” Zayn said between tears. “He only got as far as kissing and I can’t really report anything. And I heard you guys talking. You’re right. Jason comes from a rich family and the university won’t do anything about it. They’ll ridicule me and he’ll get off scot free. If actual rapists and predators on college campuses get off so easily then Jason will face zero consequences.” Zayn wiped his tears and lay down on his bed to stare up at the ceiling. He just wanted to disappear somewhere. He felt sick and exhausted. If he thought Jason kissing him before was a violation, this was on another level. His body and mind felt done.

 

“Are you sure Zee?” Harry asked with concern in his eyes.

 

“I don’t know. I don’t care. He already went ahead and did what he wanted to even if he wasn’t totally successful. I just want to sleep.” Zayn turned towards his wall and stared at it as tears streamed down his face.

 

“I’m so sorry this happened Zayn. I got in a few punches but he got away. I wish I could have broken his arms for you,” Louis said.

 

Zayn didn’t reply and just closed his eyes as silent tears continued to fall. The room was quiet and then he heard the door open and after a few whispered hushes, the others left.

 

“I’m gonna be right here Zay,” Harry whispered. “I love you and I’m so sorry I dragged you to that party when you didn’t even want to go. And I shouldn’t have left you alone like that. I’m so, so sorry.”

“Don’t blame yourself Harry,” Zayn said quietly. “I’d like to sleep.”

 

Zayn heard a sniffle from Harry but then the room went silent and the lights turned off. He put his hand over his own mouth and bit it hard enough to draw blood as his body shook with tears. Zayn cried in his heart for God to take away tonight and let him re-do it. To take away everything starting from the moment he met Jason because he had turned his life to hell. His heart was shattering with pain and his body shook. His body collapsed into fear and panic. The drug may have worn off but he felt sick. So sick that he wanted to pass out just to get rid of the feeling. Zayn lay there for what felt like hours, until his pillow was soaked with tears and his hand was bloody where he had bit it.

 

Zayn noticed the shape of his phone beside his pillow. He realized Harry must have brought it back after he found it. Zayn clicked on the home button and looked at his lock screen. It was of him and Liam in bed. He was curled up on Liam’s chest, who was taking the picture. Zayn was sticking his tongue out goofily and Liam was smiling fondly while kissing his cheek. Zayn’s body convulsed with the urge to vomit when he remembered how Jason had tried to manipulate him by saying he was Liam. As if on cue, his phone buzzed.

 

**From Blocked Number: It’s frustrating that you and I can never get any further than kisses. Not for too long.**

 

Of course. Of course it was Jason. Was there any more room for doubt? As he felt the urge to scream out loud, Zayn realized he had had enough. He couldn’t do it anymore. He was about to collapse under this immense weight. He needed relief. And his relief was in one place, and one place only. Zayn looked to the side and saw that Harry had fallen asleep, curled up in a ball. Zayn got up from his bed and pulled on his shoes. He wrote Harry a simple explanatory note with three words and left it on the table beside him. Then he left his room and practically ran.

 

A short run down the sidewalk in the brisk air. A harried flagging down of a cab. A stuttered out address that he’d memorized months ago. Fleeting city lights. Tears and shivers as he looked out the window. A stop in front of a tall building that he called home. A few bills given to the driver. A shaky run into the lobby. A never-ending ride up the elevator after hastily punching in a code. Getting out into another lobby. Another code entered shakily into a heavy door. Bursting in on heavy limbs. Walking through the familiar foyer. He finally sees him.

 

“Liam!” Zayn cried out in pain.

 

Three heads turned in his direction. Liam with a glass raised to his lips. Niall with papers in his hands. Ameera halfway through typing on her iPad. They were sat around in the living room with papers and laptops scattered everywhere. Seeing Zayn in the state he was in, they all looked shocked.

 

“Baby?” Liam shot up in surprise.

 

Zayn fell to his knees, no longer able to carry himself. He wrapped his arms around his stomach and started crying as his body shook violently. He heard a glass cracking and then footsteps running over to him.

 

“Zayn!” Liam yelled. He dropped down beside him and grabbed his trembling body. Liam hugged him to his chest and cupped his face. “What happened?” Liam’s face was covered in shock and worry. He looked panicked as he stared down at Zayn’s body. “Where’s your jacket and what are you doing here at 1 a.m.? What happened?!”

“I can’t do it anymore! I can’t hide it anymore! I can’t lie anymore! I’m afraid Liam! I’m so afraid! I feel like I’m about to break!” Zayn clung to him and cried hysterically.

 

“Baby, you’re scaring the fuck out of me! What happened? Did someone hurt you?” Liam held his face and searched desperately for answers in his eyes.

 

“Should I call an ambulance?” Ameera asked.

 

“No!” Zayn shouted. “Please... please… I just need you Liam! Please!” Zayn shook violently and Liam held him tightly.

 

“Ameera, upstairs in my bed-side drawer is a small yellow bottle. Zayn’s medication is in that. Bring that down,” Liam said frantically.

 

Zayn didn’t know what Ameera said but he heard some running and assumed she was gone upstairs. He felt himself being picked up and he held on tighter to Liam. He was placed on the sofa and he fell back against the cushions, gasping and crying.

  
  
“Zayn, my love, please tell me what happened! Seeing you like this is terrifying me,” Liam begged.

 

“I should have been more careful. I should have listened to everyone. I should have told you,” Zayn chanted deliriously as he hugged his knees and rocked back and forth.

 

“Here.” Ameera had come back down and she handed Liam a bottle of pills. Niall had brought some water. Liam pulled out a pill and touched Zayn’s chin gently to get him to open his mouth. Zayn looked up into Liam’s eyes tearfully and opened his mouth. Liam looked so worried and scared for him. Zayn had never seen that expression on his face and his heart broke more. Liam gently put the pill on his tongue and then handed him the water. Zayn swallowed it and fell forward against Liam as his body started trembling again. He didn’t even recognize his own voice but he let out a strangled cry. Liam just held him and rocked him back and forth as he cried. He did nothing but whisper soothing words and press kisses to Zayn’s head. Zayn cried until his body sagged with exhaustion. His eyes drooped tiredly; dry from shedding so many tears.

 

“Get him in bed,” Niall whispered.

 

Liam murmured something into his ear which Zayn didn’t register. Then he kissed right below it. Liam picked him and took him upstairs to the bedroom. But instead of going to the bed, he grabbed the comforter and went onto the balcony.

 

“I read that being in closed spaces isn’t great with panic attacks so maybe being under the open sky might help.” Liam sat down on a chair with Zayn in his lap and put the comforter over them.

 

“Can you tell me what happened, angel?” Liam whispered. “You can wait until you feel better but my heart hasn’t stopped racing since I heard you say my name in such agony downstairs. Never again do I want to hear that sound, baby. I don’t know what happened but I’m panicking beyond all reasonable doubt.”

 

Zayn rubbed his eyes and pushed his face into Liam’s chest to take deep inhales of his scent. He didn’t understand how it had taken him so long to identify that Jason wasn’t Liam. It made him sick. He heard some footsteps and looked up to see Niall and Ameera walk in. Ameera was holding a mug.

 

“Drink this Zayn. It’s cocoa. It’ll comfort you and warm up your body. You came here shivering in just a thin t-shirt,” she said softly.

 

Zayn nodded and accepted the mug and took a few tentative sips. Niall and Ameera had also settled into seats and were looking at him in concern. He didn’t know how he felt about saying everything in front of them. But he didn’t care anymore. He was done letting Jason terrorize him. He was exhausted.

 

“I was roofied tonight,” Zayn said in a small voice.

 

Liam’s arms tightened around him and he inhaled sharply. “What?” Liam asked, in a low, horrified voice. Zayn couldn’t look up at his face.

 

“He only got as far as kissing me because Louis and Harry found me,” Zayn murmured tearfully.

 

“Who?!” Liam asked in a tight voice.

 

“Remember that guy who was watching us in the café that time?” Zayn whispered.

 

“Him?” Liam asked in sharp, rising anger.

 

“Yes,” Zayn said. “I met him at your parents’ yacht party. He was flirting that night but I ignored it. He showed up in my psych class and kept being forward, and touchy and flirty but I ignored him because I thought he’d stop. He cornered me the day you left for Vegas and forcefully kissed me!” Zayn cried out.

 

“Is that why you had a panic attack that day? Why didn’t you tell me, Zayn?” Liam lifted his face up. Zayn looked in to his eyes and saw anger and pain so dark and deep in Liam’s face that he felt instant remorse.

 

“Yes. I didn’t want to tell you because you’ve been so stressed with work and I would be unnecessarily piling on,” Zayn stammered tearfully.

 

“Zayn…” Liam’s tone sounded upset and slightly betrayed.

 

“But- but. I couldn’t take it anymore after he roofied me tonight. He could have done anything he wanted if Louis and Harry hadn’t found me. I thought it was you Li. He said he was you!” Zayn buried his face into Liam’s chest and started crying again. Liam hugged him fiercely and protectively and kissed him all over his head.

 

“I’m going to kill this fucking bastard I swear to God,” Liam growled, his face clouded in rage.

 

“There’s more.” Zayn pulled his phone out of his pocket with a shaky hand and unlocked it to the messages from the blocked number. “I started getting these that day in the car when you asked me why I looked scared. I had no idea who they were coming from and I tried to ignore them but they became more dangerous. And I know for sure it’s Jason now.”

 

Liam took the phone and started to read the messages. As he got further down, his face became angrier and angrier. His hand tightened around the phone and his jaw was clenched in fury. Zayn could feel anger rolling off him in waves and he shuddered.

 

“Who? Who is this fucking bastard?” Liam snapped in anger.

 

“Lemme see.” Niall held his hand out and Liam gave him the phone. Niall read through the texts and looked just as horrified and angry.

 

“Zayn. What is his name?” Liam cupped his face and looked at him. Zayn hesitated for a second as he registered the rage in Liam’s eyes which made his pupils dilate. His body was tight, coiled with rage, ready to set off. Zayn knew none of the anger was directed towards him but was directed at the person who had harmed him. And he was done letting Jason off easy.

 

“He- his name is Jason Pierce,” Zayn said shakily.

 

“Who the fuck is that?” Liam asked.

 

“Liam…” Niall said in a strange tone. But no one seemed to hear him.

 

“I don’t know. He was on your parents yacht that night. He goes to NYU as a senior. He’s in the Delta Lambda frat…” Zayn said.

 

“Well whoever the fuck he is, he’s going to wish he was never fucking born after I’m through with him!” Liam exploded. He touched Zayn’s face gently in contrast to his seething anger. He pressed a kiss to Zayn’s forehead and held him in a tight embrace. “How dare he touch you? How dare he think he could lay his filthy eyes or hands on you without your consent?! This motherfucker does not know who he’s fucked with. I could rip his hands off his fucking body and that would be the least of his worries!” Liam spat.

 

“Liam!” Niall shouted to get Liam’s attention.

 

“What?!” Liam asked in irritation. Zayn looked up and noticed that Niall was looking at Liam in alarm, his face shocked and angry all at once. Something in his expression made Zayn’s heartbeat start escalating again.

 

“Liam,” Niall said in lower voice. “Jason Pierce… is Max Freeman’s younger brother.”

 

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **(for those of you who chose to skip the scene in the sorority house, a summary: Zayn goes to a party at a sorority with his friends. He separates from them to get some air and feels ill so he goes to a bathroom. He was roofied, someone slipped a pill into his water. Someone finds him there and takes him to a bedroom and starts kissing him. Zayn thinks it's Liam for a few seconds which the person agrees to but he quickly realizes it isn't. It doesn't go any further than the person kissing him because Louis and Harry find him and pull the person off and take Zayn back to the dorm. It was Jason.) 
> 
> Plot twists amirite? JK. I'm pretty sure a lot of you guys guessed that Max and Jason were linked, more than linked they're brothers. If you're confused, things get explained next chapter. Things are dialling up and once again I warn you we're right in the middle of the drama now and heavier angst is coming. There's nothing triggering like the roofie scene again don't worry. That was my only slightly triggering scene of this fic and I hope people don't hate me for putting that there although I ended it quickly. And it's vital to what unfolds next (like Jason getting his ass kicked and other stuff). Also I keep thinking that half the readers are only here for the happy stuff and might abandon now that angst is starting but I really hope you don't :( there is absolutely 10000% a happy ending. Anyways, thanks for reading! I hope you guys liked it, and liked these two updates in one week! I love you all and thank you so so SO much for all your support. It means the world to me <333
> 
> Urdu translations:  
> -the song Zayn sings to Liam over the phone is 'tum hi ho' from the bollywood movie aashiqui 2, and if you wanted to hear it, here's a link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Umqb9KENgmk . And the translation for the lyrics he sang is:  
> \-- I can’t live without you anymore. What is my existence without you? If I get separated from you, I’ll be separate from my own self. Because it’s only you, it’s only you now, it’s only you who is my life now. My peace, my pain, my love is only you. What’s this relationship between you and me, that I can’t even live a single moment away from you? I live for you everyday, I give every second of my life to you. I can’t be a single moment without you, every breath of mine has your name on it. Because it’s only you, it’s only you now, it’s only you who is my life now. My peace, my pain, my love is only you. For you I am alive, I have given myself over to you. Your loyalty/love has taken care of me, it took away every sorrow from my heart. My fate/destiny is attached to you. When I found you, I was no longer incomplete. Because it’s only you, it’s only you now, it’s only you who is my life now. My peace, my pain, my love is only you.
> 
> -when Liam comes back as a surprise, Zayn says 'tum hi ho, bas tum hi ho' he was quoting the song from above which he sang to Liam and the words mean 'it's you, it's only you.'
> 
> -and I hope we're all good with words like jaan, baba, Ya Allah since they're repeated alot.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys hope you've been good :) this chapter finished a few days ago but i've been a little busy which delayed me getting it up and frankly ive been nervous at your reaction to the chapter and the angst maybe. But I hope you like it even if you kind of hate me lol... and thank you so so so much as always for the wonderful messages and comments! you guys continue to blow my mind and i love you all! i haven't had a chance to reply to the comments on the previous chap but i read them all and appreciate every single one and you guys who take the time to write them. your support means everything to me <33 anyways i wont ramble any further, i hope you like this chapter! 
> 
> p.s. please excuse any grammatical/spelling errors my editing was hasty because ive been a little busy :)
> 
> **Warning: read with caution if violence/fights/harsh language may bother you.

 

 

_‘Jason Pierce is Max Freeman’s brother.’_

_‘Max Freeman’s brother.’_

_‘Max Freeman.’_

Liam thought that maybe his boiling rage had made him hallucinate and hear those words. But Niall was staring at him dead-serious. His face clouded in shock and anger. Zayn had started to tremble in his arms and Liam just stared at Niall for a few seconds.

 

“What?” Liam ground out between clenched teeth.

 

“Yeah. Hold up.” Niall pulled his own phone out of his pocket and hastily tapped on the screen a few times, before he turned it around. “Is that the same Jason you’re talking about, Zayn?”

 

It was open on an Instagram account. The picture was of two girls and the brunette boy Liam recognized from the café who had been staring at him and Zayn. Who as Zayn said, was Jason Pierce.

 

“Y-yeah,” Zayn said. His face was tight with fear as he looked back and forth between Liam and Niall. Liam hugged him tightly and pressed his lips to Zayn’s head to calm the storm raging inside himself. When Zayn had shown up at his place earlier in nothing but a thin t-shirt and jeans, shivering half to death, and crying so hysterically, Liam thought his heart had stopped. Zayn had cried out his name in such pain, that fear had encompassed him as he wondered what had happened to Zayn. And after he began to tell them what happened, the roofie pill, the forceful kissing, the stalking disturbing messages, Liam was ready to snap. He was ready to go find this person and rip them limb from limb. They had no idea what they had done by touching Zayn.

 

Niall sighed and rubbed his forehead in frustration. “Liam, remember a few years back when Tom dated Max’s sister Holly? And you two had that fight because you were pissed he would date anyone related to Max?”

 

“Yeah,” Liam said.

 

“Well, Tom told me a few things. This in the picture is Holly. With Jason. He is Max and Holly’s younger step-brother. Max’s father married this Jason kid’s mom when he was very young. His own dad was apparently an ass and Holly used to tell Tom how Jason looked up to Max a tremendous amount. Like worship level. Because of his own daddy issues, he looked at Max like a father figure, because his step-father couldn’t be bothered either. Jason’s mom, Jennifer, took the name Freeman after marrying but Jason’s name is still Pierce. Because that’s his father’s name and that is on his birth certificate. That’s all I know but… I can’t fucking believe this right now.” Niall gave Liam a long look that said only one thing, Max has something to do with this.

 

Liam knew that. It was obvious. And he was done. He was fucking done because he told Max not to lay a single finger on Zayn, and he did. Liam didn’t know if this Jason person was genuinely after Zayn or if it was all Max. But it definitely had Max’s name on it. And he and his brother wouldn’t live in one piece if Liam had anything to do with it. They had touched Zayn. They had tried to roofie and- Liam couldn’t even think about what would have happened if Zayn’s friends hadn’t found him.

 

“Liam…” Zayn breathed in a shaky voice.

 

“Zayn, listen to me. You’re safe now. But Max and this brother do not know what hell they have unleashed by touching you.” Liam cupped Zayn’s face and kissed him protectively all over it.

 

“I, I’m sorry,” Zayn let out a small cry. Liam felt his heart break and he wiped Zayn’s tears and hugged him tightly.

 

“Why are you apologizing angel?” Liam asked, feeling alarmed.

 

“They probably did this to make you angry. I don’t want you to get hurt,” Zayn sniffed into his chest.

 

“God, baby. No. This is not your fault. They targeted you, stalked you and harassed you. They touched you without your consent. I could fucking kill them and have no regrets. I will be fine. They on the other hand won’t.” Liam tightened the comforter around Zayn’s shaking body and kissed his head. “You need to rest sweetheart. Come on.”

 

Liam picked Zayn up and helped him get settled into bed. Niall and Ameera disappeared downstairs. Liam pulled Zayn into his arms and tucked the comforter around his body. He pressed a kiss to Zayn’s forehead as the boy tucked his face into Liam’s chest.

 

“Li… I… I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I know you’re probably angry-“

 

“No, my love. Absolutely not…” Liam ran his fingers through Zayn’s hair as the boy sniffed. “I would have liked it if you had trusted me with this as soon as it had started. But I’m not angry. I understand. You were probably anxious about it all. But Zayn… no work, no job, no person or thing in this world is as important to me as you are. I could set fire to everything else for all I care. I don’t care about work stress. That stress is nothing. You come first, always. And don’t ever worry about bothering me with anything. You’re not piling on. You’re my everything angel. I would drop everything for you. I don’t care how big or small the issue, you can always come to me. Especially with something as serious as this.”

 

Zayn nodded shakily as his tears continued to flow. Liam stroked his hair and pressed gentle kisses to his face to try and soothe him. “Wh-what are we going to do?” Zayn asked.

 

“ _You_ are going to do nothing. You have been through enough. I will not let you go through any more pain or shed any more tears. I will do what I need to do,” Liam murmured, his body buzzing with anger. “That bastard tried to touch you to get back at me or for whatever reason. But it doesn’t matter. And now he’ll know who he has fucked with.”

 

“Don’t get hurt Liam. I just wanted to tell you because I was crumbling inside. I didn’t want to cause issues or have you do something dangerous. I- I’ll get over what happened to me but I can’t bear the thought of you getting hurt,” Zayn whispered.

 

“I’m not going to. And I will never be over what happened to you. I won’t forget this. And I won’t let them either,” Liam said in a low voice. Then he hugged Zayn silently and rocked him to sleep.

 

Eventually the boy’s breathing evened out and his trembling stopped. Liam touched Zayn’s face gently and ran his finger over Zayn’s dried tear tracks. He wanted to kill the people who had dared to make Zayn cry. The most gentle human in this world. An innocent, a kind-hearted boy. And he had been through hell because some fuckers were so disgustingly obsessed with revenge. Max taken his petty rivalry with Liam and dared to unleash it on the person Liam cared more for than anyone in this world. The person Liam would give his life for. Max had no idea what he had done by going for Zayn. Neither had this Jason person.

 

Liam slowly pulled away from Zayn and tucked him in comfortably. He pushed Zayn’s hair off his forehead tenderly and kissed the spot. He kept his lips pressed there and felt his eyes sting with tears. “My love, my angel… I am so, so sorry this happened to you. This is all because of me. Max has some petty revenge issue with me and he took it out on you. This would never have happened to you if they didn’t know what you meant to me. I will never, _ever_ let anyone lay another hand on you. I love you so, so much. And like I once told you, anyone who lays a hand on you will not walk away easy.”

 

Liam kissed Zayn’s forehead again then he got up and went downstairs. The fire burning inside him was growing angrier and angrier. His body was burning up with rage, his mind ready to explode. He felt blood-thirsty and he only had one thing on his mind. Liam pulled on his shoes and was heading towards the door when Niall and Ameera walked out the living room.

 

“Where are you going?” Niall asked.

 

“Ameera, can you go sit with Zayn for a bit,” Liam said.

 

“Sure…” Ameera said slowly and walked towards the stairs to go up.

 

“Liam…” Niall grabbed his arm. “Where are you going?”

 

“You know where I’m going Niall. And don’t try and stop me,” Liam replied.

 

Niall looked at him, expressionless, for a few seconds. Then he nodded. “I’m coming with you.”

 

Liam nodded and walked out the door towards the elevators. He turned to Niall who came up beside him. “Zayn said Delta Lambda?”

 

“Just like his cunt of a brother,” Niall muttered angrily.

 

 

**

 

 

Liam pulled his car to a stop outside the Delta Lambda Phi frat house. It looked exactly like it had six years ago when Liam had been in Alpha Phi Delta and Jason had been in this one. Their frats had been major rivals and Liam and Max’s personal rivalries accelerated it. Tradition was clearly carrying on with his younger brother who seemed to have a similarity to Max’s disgusting behaviour. Liam pulled open the door and was about to get out when Niall grabbed his arm.

 

“Liam… after what Zayn told us tonight, I don’t care what you do to this motherfucker. Just don’t lose it so badly that you do something you can’t take back. Zayn needs you.” Niall raised his eyebrows and patted Liam’s arm. Liam didn’t respond and just got out of the car.

 

He walked up to the main door with Niall beside him and pounded on it. It was close to 3 a.m. and it was silent. Maybe everyone had gone to party at some other frat or sorority house or just fallen asleep. All he knew was he needed to find this Jason person. The door opened after Liam pounded on it again and some blonde-haired guy wearing just boxers looked at them with red, hazy eyes.

 

“Yeah?” The guy asked.

 

“Where is-“

 

“Hey… you’re that guy… Payne something right?” The guy asked with a laugh.

 

“Is Jason Pierce here?” Liam interrupted after glaring at the blabbering idiot in front of him.

 

“Jase? Why?” The guy leaned against the door and looked at them with interest.

 

Liam lost his last shred of patience and threw the guy against the door. “Listen you fucking idiot! Tell me where the fuck Jason Pierce is or you might get a hint of what he has coming!”

 

“Jesus! He- he’s in his room upstirs! Last one on the right!” The guy struggled to get away from him. Liam threw him onto the floor and stepped over him to walk into the house. Niall followed him. Liam went to go up the stairs and he saw a half-dressed girl and guy sitting in the living room staring at them. Liam ignored them and pounded up the stairs. Rage burning in his veins and clouding every sense of his. He reached the specified door and paused in front of it. It had some abstract sketch on the door that he couldn’t make out. But he didn’t give a fuck. He pushed the door open and walked in unannounced.

 

He recognized the brunette-haired boy who lay across the bed, smoking, drawing in a sketch pad. Liam paused for a second and took in the face of the vile human who had dared to touch Zayn and cause him so much pain. The guy looked up, annoyed at the intrusion, but when he saw Liam he paused. A slow smirk spread across his face.

 

“Liam Payne.” Jason pushed his messy hair out of his face and put his sketch pad aside. “So, I’m assuming our sweet bambi eyes finally spilled everything?”

 

Liam felt like an elastic holding his control snapped. He was at Jason in a fraction of a second. He wrenched him from the bed and threw him across the room so he hit the wall with a smack. Niall had shut the door behind them and was leaning against it calmly.

 

“Did you honestly think-” Liam started and went over to Jason and leaned over him as he slowly got up from the floor with a grunt, “that you were going to get away with what you did?”

 

“Don’t know. At least thought I’d have sex tonight but Zayn’s nosy friends couldn’t stay the fuck away. A shame because he has the sweetest lips and I really wanted to find out what the rest of him tastes like,” Jason retorted.

 

Red clouded his vision. Liam didn’t let Jason get up and punched him so swiftly that his head snapped to the side. Blood poured from Jason’s nose and he clutched at it. Liam grabbed him by his shirt and threw him against the wall. His instincts were telling him to rip out Jason’s tongue and then break his arms. He grabbed Jason’s face in his hand and held it straight with force. Jason’s nose was broken, his lip was split, blood was everywhere, but he grinned at Liam.

 

“You have no idea what hell you’ve brought upon yourself, you son of a bitch. You and your fucking brother don’t know who you’ve messed with. Zayn has done nothing. He’s innocent. And you targeted him? Why? Your brother’s sick revenge obsession against me? Or are you just a sick fuck who forces himself on people? Like your brother used to,” Liam spat. Jason tried to get away but Liam started raining punches on him again and Jason fell to the ground coughing and spluttering.

 

“You know your precious brother should have warned you before you went for Zayn. I put him in the emergency room when he went after my friend in college. And you went for the one person I care about more than anything or anyone in this world. The person I could kill for.” At those words a flash of fear went through Jason’s eyes. Liam gave him a dangerous, cold smile.

 

“Oh yeah. I could throw you out that window and kill you right now for what you did. And I could get away with it. With the kind of connections I have, I could get away with it and your parents wouldn’t even have a body to bury,” Liam seethed. “But I’m not going to kill you. Because you and your brother deserve a slow destruction. You put Zayn through agony for weeks. And you-” Liam pressed his knee into Jason’s stomach, “-you will go through something a hundred times worse. I will make your life a living hell.”

 

“Keep an eye out for yourself and Zayn as well,” Jason said through coughs.

 

“No, you motherfucking bitch, _you_ should keep an eye out!” Liam roared and grabbed Jason to fling him across the room again. Jason fell over a table and a lamp and other things crashed to the floor. “You think that touching someone without their consent makes you a man? Do you think rape makes you a man, you sick fuck?! Taking away someone choices and forcing yourself on them makes you less than an animal. And those texts. You think you could stand outside my home and threaten Zayn? You underestimated what I’m capable of. Especially what I’m capable of doing for Zayn.”

 

Jason slowly tried to get up from the floor, his face covered in blood, his body bruised. Liam went over to him and threw him down to the floor again. Niall was giving him a look, signalling that he should stop now. Liam ignored him and leaned down over Jason to give him another punch that resulted in a sickening crack which made Jason groan in pain. “Tell your brother there’s more of this for him too. And if he decided to start a war he can’t finish, I will gladly bury him six feet under. If I see you or your brother even a hundred feet near Zayn again, I will kill you without a second thought.”

 

Liam threw Jason’s limp form against the wall, then he stood up. “And don’t bother going to class anymore. The Dean is a friend of mine. Your NYU career is over. And that is just the beginning. Tell Max that too. I’m just getting started.”

 

Niall gave him a nod and motioned towards the door. Liam looked down at Jason once more, who was clutching his stomach and groaning. Spitting blood out. Liam still felt more anger burning inside him but he knew he needed to stop now. Otherwise he would lose all control. And he wouldn’t that to Zayn. The boy needed him and Liam had other plans for these two. He turned around and walked out the door that Niall had opened for him. Liam walked back down the stairs and saw the same people from before, plus two other guys, staring at him. Fear and shock on their faces. He just pushed through the door and went straight for the car. He settled into the driver’s seat and Niall joined him after a few seconds.

 

“Now what?” Niall asked.

 

“Now, I’m going home to Zayn,” Liam answered. He looked down at his fist and saw blood. He simply wiped it on his shirt and started driving home.

 

 

**

 

 

Liam walked into his bedroom and saw Ameera sitting in bed beside Zayn. She had her hand in his hair and was stroking it gently. When she saw Liam, she stopped and slowly got up from the bed. Giving Zayn’s sleeping form one last glance, Ameera walked over to Liam and grabbed his arm. She tugged him into the bathroom and shut the door. She said nothing and grabbed a towel which she soaked in water.

 

“Take your shirt off Liam,” she said with a sigh.

 

Liam stripped off his blood-stained shirt and threw it aside. He turned towards the mirror and looked at himself. His face was covered in so much anger that it surprised him a little. Ameera picked up his hand and started cleaning the blood off his knuckles.

 

“That wasn’t a smart move Liam. You’re just instigating them more. That family sounds all kinds of fucked up and they aren’t going to back away. They’re going to come back harder,” Ameera said.

 

“Do you think I care right now, Ameera?” Liam asked angrily. “They went after Zayn… _Zayn._ I don’t know how you expect me to let that go.”

 

“I am not expecting you to let it go!” Ameera yelled but then quickly lowered her voice. “Liam…” Ameera sighed and held Liam’s hand tightly in her own. “I love that boy so fucking much, you have no idea. My heart shattered when I saw him distraught tonight. I want to kill those bastards just as much as you do. In fact, a part of me is thrilled that you did whatever you did to that pig tonight. He deserves much worse. But for your safety and for the safety of Zayn, you should not be fighting fire with fire.”

 

She put the towel aside and pulled a first aid kit out of the cupboard. She started cleaning his split knuckles with anti-septic, her angry gaze turned down. Liam sighed and pulled her into a hug. Ameera hugged him back and Liam kissed the top of her head. “Babe, I know. But my anger just snaps when Max is around. He brings out my bad side. And Zayn… God… Zayn is the last person on this earth to deserve any of this. He’s an angel, he’s _my_ angel, and they hurt him Meemz. They hurt him!” Liam took a deep breath to calm himself. Ameera moved back and cupped his face.

 

“I know… I understand. But don’t resort to these tactics again, Liam. And do something that will hurt them but without risking yourself or Zayn. Okay?” Ameera started to wrap his knuckles in some white gauze.

 

“Jason isn’t going to finish his senior year at NYU. That is guaranteed. And Max will lose his last shred of dignity. His business. I think it’s time I call my friend Jay. He works in the criminal division of the FBI. Max’s shady business deals and rumours of embezzlement need a looking in to, don’t you think?” Liam said.

 

Ameera nodded with a small smile and patted his arm. “Do that,” she said. “They don’t deserve anything.”

 

“Trust me. They have no idea what they’ve started,” Liam muttered.

 

“I’m gonna go home now. Zayn woke up once and asked for you. Take care of him. That boy deserves everything in this world and none of what he was forced to deal with these past few weeks,” Ameera said.

 

“I know. Thanks, Meemz.” Liam kissed her head and she smiled and kissed his cheek before she left. Liam changed out of clothes and put on a pair of sweats before he exited the bathroom. Zayn was still sleeping. Liam went over to him and touched his face before pressing a light kiss to his cheek.

 

“My angel…” Liam murmured. “I’m so fucking sorry this happened to you. I will do _anything_ for you. I will destroy them for touching you. I promise.”

 

Liam pressed another kiss to Zayn’s forehead then went downstairs. He filled a glass of water and sat down on his sofa in the dark living room. He drank his water then put the glass aside. Holding his head in his hands, Liam wondered how he had ended up here. Why was this happening? He didn’t even care if Max came after him, but why Zayn? Max probably realized how much he cared for Zayn. Every time he had threatened Zayn, Liam had practically lost it. Max had picked up on it. He was a sick bastard for going as far as he did tonight through his brother.

 

“Liam…”

 

Liam looked up and saw Zayn standing a few feet away from him. He was shaking and had a small blanket around his body. “Baby, what are you doing out of bed?” Liam asked

 

“Liam…” Zayn’s voice cracked and he put a hand up to his face to cover it as he started crying.

 

“Angel,” Liam said in concern and got up to go towards him.

 

“I couldn’t sleep properly because I can’t stop thinking about everything and- and…” Zayn stammered through his tears.

“And what, darling?” Liam asked softly.

 

“D-do you think I cheated on you?” Zayn asked in a broken voice. He looked up and his eyes were overflowing with thick tears, that fell out one by one and hit Liam straight in his heart.

 

“What?” Liam asked in shock. “No, Zayn!” Liam went over to the boy and huddled him into his arms. Zayn was shaking and crying softly. Liam sank on to the rug with Zayn in his arms. He tilted Zayn’s face up and kissed up his soaked cheeks. Liam stroked his hair as he pressed his lips in butterfly kisses to Zayn’s eyelids.

 

“I- I thought Jason was you. He found me in the bathroom, drugged out, and I thought it was you and he agreed. When he took me to the room and kissed me, I started kissing back for a few seconds. I’m sorry jaan... I’m so sorry… I didn’t know. I swear to God, I didn’t… And it’s killing me that he did that. You’ve been the only person I’ve ever kissed and I wanted it to remain like that till I died. Jason violated that,” Zayn cried shakily into is chest.

 

Liam closed his eyes and prayed for some patience because he was one step away from driving back to the frat house and flinging Jason from his window for real this time. He deserved a punch for every tear that fell from Zayn’s eyes.

 

“Zayn… my love… you did _not_ cheat on me. Don’t think that for even a second. Jason took advantage of you and kissed you by force. You did not consent to that. He took advantage of you in a vulnerable state. This is not on you baby so please, _please_ don’t apologize. Never apologize for this. This is all on him. And as far as you and I are concerned, I’ll still be the only person you kissed because you wanted to. You chose to. And that my angel, is all that matters. Okay?” Liam cupped Zayn’s face and kissed him all over it. He then touched his lips gently to Zayn’s for a quick kiss, not sure if Zayn was okay with more. But Zayn put a hand at the back of his neck and deepened the kiss.

 

“I love you s-so, so much,” Zayn whispered with a sniff. “You are it for me and I don’t want to be with anyone else, the idea makes me sick. I would never willingly kiss anyone else. I love you and only you for the rest of my days and beyond that. I hate that Jason ruined something that was so special to me. He’s ruined so many things for me.”

 

“Don’t think about him. He can fuck off straight to hell. I only care about you. I care about your well-being. And I don’t want you to shed any more tears for him. I love you so fucking much.” Liam hugged Zayn tightly and possessively and kissed his head. Zayn clung to him firmly as Liam got off the ground with him in his arms. Liam walked back up into his dark bedroom and got into bed with Zayn on top of his chest. He tugged the comforter over their bodies and rubbed Zayn’s back to warm him up.

 

“Liam?” Zayn murmured.

 

“Yeah, baby?” Liam asked softly.

 

“Why are your hands hurt? Did you- did you go to Jason, or Max?” Zayn questioned.

 

“Jason,” Liam replied.

 

“Jaan… I don’t want you to get hurt… this is why I was avoiding telling you,” Zayn said with a distressed sigh.

 

“I’m not hurt, baby. Seeing you in pain, put me into pain. But these little cuts don’t matter. He deserved what he got and so much more,” Liam murmured and kissed Zayn’s head.

 

“I could take on any pain if it meant you wouldn’t get hurt,” Zayn whispered. “I could give my life for you.”

 

“No. never,” Liam said sternly. “I would never let you. Nothing will happen to me Zayn. And I will never ever let anything happen to you.”

 

Zayn nodded slowly and buried himself further into Liam’s chest. Liam stroked his hair gently, knowing that Zayn fell asleep easily when someone stroked his hair. But then Liam remembered something and he paused. “Zayn… Jason referred to you as bambi eyes… where did he hear that?”

 

Zayn stiffened in his arms and Liam could feel his heart thundering against his own chest. Zayn was silent for a few seconds but then he whispered, “On the yacht… Jason saw my bambi phone case and asked about it. I told him you gave it to me because you call me bambi eyes. After that he never let it go. Whenever he saw me, he’d call me bambi eyes and it made me feel sick. I hated it so much. You made that name and you’re the only one to call me that. I wanted to punch him whenever he said it…”

 

“He won’t be saying it again. Or coming near you again for that matter. You won’t see him in classes for sure. I know the Dean and I’m going to get his ass thrown out for the shit he pulled,” Liam murmured.

 

“Li-“ Zayn started.

 

“No, baby. He deserves it. He’s a predator and he shouldn’t be on campus,” Liam said firmly.

 

Zayn sighed and nodded into his chest. He trailed his fingertips gently over Liam’s bare chest and touched the chain to his Cartier bracelet. Zayn gripped it tightly and didn’t let go. “Can you sing me to sleep again? I still feel really restless and can’t stop thinking about everything,” Zayn said in a small voice.

 

“Of course, my love. What do you want me to sing?” Liam asked.

 

“Anything,” Zayn murmured.

 

Liam thought for a second, and then softly started singing the song that popped into his head. “What would I do without your smart mouth? Drawing me in and you kicking me out. You got my head spinning, no kidding, I can’t pin you down. What’s going on in that beautiful mind? I’m on your magical mystery ride. And I’m so dizzy, don’t know what hit me, but I’ll be alright. My head’s under water, but I’m breathing fine. You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind…” Liam tilted Zayn’s face up and kissed his forehead. Zayn smiled at him, a little teary-eyed, as Liam sang the chorus. “‘Cus all of me, loves all of you. Love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections. Give your all to me, I’ll give my all to you. You’re my end and my beginning. Even when I lose I’m winning. ‘Cus I give you all of me. And you give me all of you.”

 

 

**

 

 

_‘Just relax baby… just relax…’_

Zayn gasped and woke up with a start. His heart was thundering like a speeding train. He was covered in a film of cold sweat. He had been dreaming about being back in the room at the sorority house with Jason. This time Harry and Louis hadn’t come. No matter how much he screamed. Zayn shook with the after effects of the nightmare and glanced down at Liam who was still sleeping. His arm lay stretched out where Zayn had been curled up. Zayn looked at Liam’s bandaged hand and felt a tug in his heart. Liam had gotten hurt in his anger. In his anger at what had happened to Zayn. And Zayn couldn’t stop thinking about Jason being related to Max. Jason’s intentions seemed even more muddled now.

 

Zayn sighed and climbed out of bed discreetly. He noticed that it was only 7 a.m. He went to the bathroom to take a quick shower and get last night’s disturbing events off himself. Then he put on one of Liam’s baggy hoodie and sweats and went downstairs. In the kitchen, Zayn found Ray awake and drinking from his water bowl. He cracked his first smile since yesterday and kneeled beside Ray.

 

“Hi, meri jaan,” Zayn whispered. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Ray’s little head. Then he got up and grabbed some cat food to pour Ray some breakfast. Zayn sat on the ground beside Ray and watched him eat the food. He tried to block out everything and just watched Ray’s tiny pink tongue flick in and out. After a few minutes, he decided to get himself something to eat even though he wasn’t hungry. But he knew he couldn’t avoid food and make himself ill. Zayn poured a small amount of cereal and milk into a bowl and sat onto a bar stool at the kitchen island. He was pushing the cereal around in his bowl dejectedly when he heard footsteps.

 

“You scared me, angel. I had no idea where you had gone,” Liam said as he walked into the kitchen in just the sweats he had slept in.

 

“Sorry,” Zayn murmured. Liam came up to him and cupped his face to press a kiss to his forehead.

 

“You okay?” Liam asked gently.

 

Zayn nodded and wrapped his arms around Liam to hug him tightly. He breathed in Liam’s scent and closed his eyes. “Let me make you a proper breakfast,” Liam said.

 

“I don’t feel so hungry,” Zayn said,

 

“Zayn, after such a draining panic attack last night you should eat something. You need the energy,” Liam told him as he pulled out a pan. Zayn just nodded in reply. Liam gave him a tender, loving smile and walked over to press a kiss to his lips.

 

He then sat and watched as Liam made them pancakes with fruit and syrup across the top. Throughout cooking, Liam came over to him every few minutes and kissed a part of his face until Zayn was smiling by the end and feeling more revived. They sat in the living room to eat their breakfast and watched the early morning light coming in from the floor to ceiling windows. Zayn ate half his food, then tucked his face into Liam’s shoulder and curled up against his side. Liam draped a throw blanket over his shoulder and peppered his head with kisses as he held onto him.

 

“Angel, I need to talk to you about something important,” Liam said softly

 

Zayn’s heart stopped as he started imagining the worst. What did Liam have to say to him? Did Jason or Max do something again? Was Liam in trouble for going after Jason?

 

“Relax my love, it’s not bad news,” Liam said and kissed his hand. “It’s just that… Max is a disturbing human being. I don’t know what he plans on doing next especially when I go after him. Even if I didn’t go after him he probably wouldn’t stop. While I figure out ways to put an end to his bullshit once and for all, I need to keep you safe. While I would love to be with you every second and make sure you’re okay, it’s not possible. So… for a little while at least… do you think you would be okay with me hiring you a bodyguard?”

 

“What?” Zayn asked. “I- I don’t need a bodyguard, Li. Didn’t you say that Jason will no longer be coming to NYU?”

 

“Yes, while he will be expelled, that doesn’t mean it’s illegal for him to still show up on campus. I’m worried, baby. I’m so, so worried. I made it clear that he should stay away or I will break every bone in his body next time, but I know Max. If not Jason, he could find other ways. He knows what you mean to me and how he can hurt me by hurting you. I don’t care about myself but I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you.” Liam took both of Zayn’s hands and pressed numerous kisses to them. He looked at Zayn with pleading eyes.

 

“Liam… I don’t want a bodyguard. It’ll make me stand out in the crowd. People will think I’m strange and wonder why I have a bodyguard. They’ll ask questions and find it silly that I got a bodyguard just because of one jackass guy,” Zayn replied.

 

“That one jackass guy attacked you Zayn. He almost-“ Liam paused and took a deep breath. “I would never force you to do anything Zayn and whatever decision you make I’ll accept it. But anytime we’re apart I’m going to be so worried and this might help. I’ll make sure it’s someone inconspicuous who can blend into the crowd like a regular college student. You won’t stand out that way.”

 

“I don’t want to worry you.” Zayn felt a rock forming in his throat and hot tears sprang to his eyes. He felt so guilty that he wanted to throw up. This was why he had avoided talking about Jason. He was causing Liam to worry and lose his mind. This was escalating to places he had never wanted it to go.

 

“No, no, no… sweetheart…” Liam wrapped Zayn into his arms and rubbed his back soothingly as he kissed along the side of his face. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m so sorry. I can see it in your eyes Zayn and I know you’re regretting telling me. But don’t. Please don’t. I am so beyond relieved you told me baby. If I had found out some other way when things had gone too far I would have hated myself for not noticing. And this is just a temporary precaution until I can make sure Max and Jason are gone for good and will never try to come near you again. So please at least consider it?”

“I would do anything for you,” Zayn murmured into Liam’s neck.

 

“The only thing I need from you,” Liam said as he pulled back and cupped Zayn’s face, “Is for you to stay safe, happy and healthy. That’s all I need.”

 

“You’re too good to me,” Zayn whispered tearfully.

 

“No Zee. Not nearly enough. You’re my angel and I would bring heaven to you if possible,” Liam said and kissed him gently on his lips.

 

“Fine,” Zayn whispered. “You can get the bodyguard for a short while. Please choose someone who will blend in easily and will mind his own business. I don’t like talking to strangers. Especially because of recent events.”

 

“I know my love.” Liam said and pulled Zayn into his lap. Zayn smiled softly and curled his arms around Liam’s neck to rest his face on his shoulder. Liam tucked the blanket around him and kissed his cheek. “Are you okay with staying at your dorm or would you like to live here for a while?” Liam asked.

 

“C-can I stay here?” Zayn asked nervously.

 

“I was hoping you would,” Liam replied and hugged him tightly. “I’m going to try and be home more often. And for now, this weekend I’ve cancelled all my other engagements and we’ll just stay in. Unless if you want to go somewhere else?”

 

“Can we go see my family? I miss them,” Zayn murmured.

 

“Sure,” Liam answered.

 

“But don’t tell them about anything, Li. Please,” Zayn begged.

 

“If that’s what you want, I promise I won’t,” Liam agreed. Zayn closed his eyes and curled up further against Liam. He suddenly felt very tired after being awoken from the nightmare this morning. Plus, only getting about three hours of sleep last night. Liam stroked his hair gently, like the way that he loved, and Zayn soon felt himself dozing off into a peaceful slumber.

 

 

**

 

 

“Liam, would you like some tea?”

 

Liam looked up to see Tricia standing in the doorway to the Malik’s living room. She was wiping her hands on a tea towel and smiling warmly at him. Liam had been sitting on the ground with Safaa and Waliyha as they all played a game of something called ludo, which they had introduced to him. Zayn was sat on the couch with his dad as they watched these guys play, with the TV running in the background. Zayn had his head on his dad’s shoulder and Yaser had his arm around him. Liam was glad that they had come here because Zayn had been in a more relaxed mood around his family. They had eaten lunch and watched a few movies together. All together a nice, mellow afternoon.

 

“Sure. Tea would be nice,” Liam answered with a smile.

 

“I killed yours Liam!” Safaa yelled happily. Liam looked at her and gave her an exaggerated shocked face with his mouth open.

 

“You killed me? How savage Saf! I thought we were friends!” Liam exclaimed.

 

“There’s no friends in ludo!” Safaa shouted. She grinned as she pushed Liam’s yellow piece back into his home box and triumphantly put her own blue piece down.

 

“She kills everyone’s pieces. She has no remorse,” Waliyha said with a shake of her head. Liam grinned at Waliyha and she flushed a little. Although she had gotten over her initial awkwardness from the first dinner he had here and they had begun a friendship, she still seemed to blush around Liam every now and then which he found a little funny.

 

“Alright. I’ll kill yours next time,” Liam told Safaa with a smirk.

 

“No!” Safaa looked at him with her big doe eyes and Liam felt his heart melt. All these Maliks had such big gorgeous eyes, that anyone could go weak in front of.

 

“Alright cutie, I won’t,” Liam promised and kissed her head. Safaa beamed at him and went back to roll her dice.

 

“Little drama queen has everyone wrapped around her finger,” Waliyha muttered.

 

“All you Maliks are God damn adorable. I can’t help but be swayed by you.” Liam turned and winked at Zayn, who gave him a soft smile with bright eyes.

 

“Try living with that,” Yaser joked. “It’s chaos when all you see is innocent eyes and sweet smiles on the faces of devils who know how to get their way.”

 

“Trust me. I know.” Liam smiled in Zayn’s direction and the boy flushed lightly.

 

“I’m not a devil,” Zayn huffed.

 

“I’m only kidding,” Liam said. And then he mouthed, ‘you’re my angel.’ Zayn smiled so widely that his nose scrunched up. Liam felt his heart burst with fond because Zayn had been so distraught since yesterday that seeing him smiling so genuinely felt like a relief. Liam looked to the side and saw Yaser watching him. The other man raised his eyebrows and smiled after seeing Liam’s fond look at Zayn and reading his lips. Liam returned the smile and turned back to the game with the girls.

 

“I want to play too,” Zayn said and slid on to the carpet beside Liam.

 

“I saved you green because it’s your favourite!” Safaa said happily.

 

“But no helping each other out just because you’re boyfriends,” Waliyha warned.

 

“Yeah instead we’ll all gang up on you and kill your pieces,” Zayn teased.

 

“Baba!” Waliyha whined.

 

“Zayn,” Yaser warned. Zayn just grinned more widely and picked up the dice to roll it. Liam smiled and leaned over to kiss his forehead which Zayn leaned into with a smile.

 

“Prepare to lose everyone because I own this game,” Zayn announced and tossed the dice.

 

 

**

 

“There’s 20 candidates from Rockwell Security. Mr. Clarkson promised me that he forwarded some of his best employees to you.”

Liam flipped through the pages of the bodyguard candidates that he had been looking at. He had notified Ameera first thing after talking to Zayn that they would be going with a bodyguard. She had called up one of the companies they trusted the most and Liam had used in the past. The CEO of the company had forwarded them his top best after hearing Liam’s name. Liam was looking through them now as he wanted to sort the bodyguard situation out before Zayn went to class on Monday.

 

“I know you probably want to be very thorough for Zayn’s sake. But I already took the liberty of doing background checks on everyone and filtering them out. They’re all quite capable but I narrowed it down to the five I thought were best. Now you can choose from them. Or go through everyone else as well. Your choice,” Ameera said.

 

“No that’s great, Meemz. Thank you,” Liam said in gratitude. Ameera had made this so much easier because Liam wanted the best for Zayn, he didn’t want to risk his safety, and there wasn’t much time. Liam looked over to where Zayn was sitting with Niall and Ray as they played on the Xbox. Zayn was laughing as Niall told him jokes and Liam smiled. Zayn’s smile and his laugh were the most beautiful thing in this world. Liam wanted it to remain like that.

 

“Alright. Tristan Matthews. Served in the military for eight years. 30 years old. Is from Cali. Went to Berkeley. Black belt. Clean record. Fifteen successful reviews,” Ameera read out.

 

“No,” Liam said and put the resume aside. “Someone closer to the age of a college student. So, he can blend in around Zayn and in his freshmen classes.”

 

“Okay. These two won’t work… Umm, then how about Maheer Azar. 23 years old. Professional wrestler. Even competed globally. Personal trainer and bouncer experience too. CPR trained. New York born and raised. NYU educated. He started at the company last year but has excellent reviews from his past five jobs. One guarding a government official’s daughter from her stalker.” Ameera looked up with an impressed expression.

 

“Hmm. Get me an interview with him tomorrow,” Liam said. “The others?”

 

“Well they’re all above 26 and wouldn’t pass as freshmen,” Ameera answered.

 

“Fine. Get this guy here for an interview,” Liam said and put the papers down.

 

“Sure,” Ameera answered and picked her phone up to start typing out a message.

 

“Jaan…” Zayn said and came to sit in Liam’s lap and nuzzle his neck. Liam smiled and pushed his papers aside to hug Zayn and kiss his forehead. “Can we go to IHOP for pancakes?”

 

“Right now?” Liam asked. Zayn nodded with a sweet smile.

 

“Craving,” Zayn answered.

 

“Sure baby. Let me get changed,” Liam replied and kissed him lightly. “You guys want to come?” Liam questioned the others.

 

“Who do you think suggested it?” Niall snorted.

 

“You’re buying me red velvet pancakes and a milkshake Horan,” Ameera said.

 

“Would you let me live if I said no?” Niall said jokingly.

 

“No,” Ameera replied.

 

“You guys can do your married couple arguing over there. Let’s go!” Zayn said and bounced upstairs to go change.

 

“Even Zayn thinks you act married.” Liam smirked at them.

 

“His ass wishes,” Ameera said with a snort in Niall’s direction although she was half smiling.

 

 

**

 

 

“Liam there’s someone at the door!”

  
  
Liam came out of the bathroom tying a towel around his waist as he heard the doorbell ring. Zayn was sitting on the bed doing an assignment on his laptop for school with Ray beside him.

 

“Isn’t Mary downstairs? She’ll get it,” Liam said.

 

He dropped his towel and picked up a pair of briefs to pull on. When he turned around, he saw Zayn watching him, his mouth frozen around the straw of his Starbucks drink. He looked up and met Liam’s eyes, and smiled with a slight blush. Lim smirked and went over to kiss him before he pulled on his clothes. His intercom buzzed and he went over it to answer.

 

“Liam,” Mary said though the line. “Ameera is here with the man you’re interviewing.”

 

“Coming down Mary. Thank you,” Liam replied.

 

“Is that the bodyguard?” Zayn asked.

 

“Yes. Do you want to sit in on the interview? It’s important that you’re comfortable with this, angel,” Liam said.

 

“I trust your choice,” Zayn replied. “Although… although, I’d like to see what he’s like and see what my gut instinct is around him.”

 

“Want to come down then?” Liam asked.

 

“Sure,” Zayn answered and shut his laptop. Liam waited for Zayn to grab Ray and then they went downstairs to the living room. Ameera was sitting there with a young man who had short brown hair, a slight stubble, was built, not too intimidating but just enough that you could tell he wrestled. He was dressed professionally and talking to Ameera. Overall, he looked like he would blend well in Zayn’s college life.

 

“Hello,” Liam greeted as he walked in. The guy- Maheer- stood up and shook Liam’s hand with a polite smile. Zayn was hovering behind Liam holding Ray, looking unsure. Liam put a hand on his back to urge him forward as Maheer offered is hand to Zayn.

 

“I’m Liam. This is Zayn,” Liam introduced.

 

“I’m Maheer,” he replied as he shook their hands.

 

“Nice to meet you,” Liam said and gestured to the sofas so they could sit.

 

“I was told I was being interviewed by Liam Payne, but I wasn’t sure for who exactly I was being hired or what the situation entailed,” Maheer explained.

 

“Yeah sorry about that. It’s very rushed. You would be guarding Zayn, my boyfriend. There’s just a situation right now with a stalker-ish kind of person. They’ve been targeting him and I need Zayn to have protection at all times until I can do something about this person,” Liam said.

 

“Understandable,” Maheer nodded.

 

“You look great on paper Maheer. But I want to know about you first-hand,” Liam told him. Mary entered with coffee so they paused for a second to take cups from her.

 

“My family and I came to New York from Lebanon when I was three years old. I have two older sisters and a younger brother. All who I would protect with my life so I know what it feels like to want to keep someone safe. I studied sports therapy in NYU and worked as a personal trainer during my time as a student. I was even on the wrestling team. We have competed nationally and globally and won each time. I am trained in CPR and a few emergency medical procedures. I worked as a bouncer for a nightclub in college for a while as well so I have that experience with rowdy people. Plus, my most recent and relevant experience is being a bodyguard with my company for a year. In that time, I’ve done five placements. All successfully reviewed. One was the daughter of a high-profile man who had a stalker. If you look at my file, I successfully helped take down the stalker and he was arrested.” Maheer finished off with a sincere look in Liam and Zayn’s direction. Liam nodded and paused to sip his coffee. He looked at Zayn who was looking down at Ray as the kitten tugged on his finger.

 

“Maheer, I’m going to be very informal for a second. Your experience sounds great. I’m sure you would do fine. But I need you to know… I am trusting you with the single most important person in my life. If anything happened to Zayn… let’s just say it wouldn’t be pretty. It’s vital that you understand how important this is,” Liam said firmly.

 

“I know. I understand what you’re saying Mr. Payne. And I can guarantee you that I put my heart and soul into my job. People are trusting me with their lives and I don’t take that lightly,” Maheer answered.

 

“Good to know,” Liam said. He rubbed Zayn’s knee and the boy looked up. “Did you want to ask anything, Zayn?” Zayn just shook his head.

 

“Also, you need to blend in as a college student around Zayn. Sit with him in his lectures as a normal college student. When he’s working at his café, just stay in the area. But blend in well. Zayn would prefer it if you didn’t stand out as a bodyguard,” Liam said.

 

“Makes sense,” Maheer replied. “Can I ask… is this stalker also a student on the same campus?”

 

“He was. But I made sure he was expelled. He will most likely still be hanging around. We can expect that. You’ll be given photos of him and other information so you’re aware,” Liam answered.

 

“And does Zayn live on campus?” Maheer questioned.

 

“He does live in a dorm. But for a few days he’s going to be here. You would start in the mornings when he leaves for class or work and accompany him. Or anywhere else. And you stay on clock till he comes home to sleep. Some days we might not need you if Zayn is with me or just staying in. But basically as long as Zayn is out alone, you’re there,” Liam explained. He had discussed the details of what Zayn felt comfortable with last night and Zayn had given him an outline of what he was okay with. Like the bodyguard accompanying him to class and work was fine, but if he was just sitting in his dorm or here at Liam’s place, the bodyguard shouldn’t have to be there. Or if he was out with a large group of people. And of course, if Liam was there, the bodyguard wouldn’t be needed.

 

“Of course,” Maheer answered.

 

“I umm...” Zayn spoke up with a nervous lilt to his voice. Liam gave him an encouraging smile so Zayn could say whatever he needed to and feel comfortable. “I- I have anxiety,” Zayn said with a slight stammer. “It would help if you carried some of my medication on you so if I have a panic attack and don’t remember where my own pills are, you can help. And please don’t umm… don’t touch me without my permission.”

 

“Okay. But if you’re in danger I would have to,” Maheer said apologetically.

 

“That- that’s fine I guess. But otherwise please don’t. It’s… it’s a little triggering. I don’t do well around strangers especially after recent events,” Zayn explained softly. Liam gently pulled him in to kiss his forehead.

 

“Understandable,” Maheer said with kind smile. “I promise you Zayn. I will do everything to keep you safe and make sure that you’re comfortable.”

 

“Thank you,” Zayn said and smiled back politely.

 

“So, can you start tomorrow?” Liam asked.

 

“Oh...” Maheer laughed. “Of course. You have a very intimidating look and here I was wondering I might not get the job.”

 

“He likes to scare people,” Ameera said with a grin.

 

“Hey, it’s a serious matter. It concerns Zayn,” Liam said and picked up Zayn’s hand to kiss it. The boy shot him a soft smile.

 

“I swear. I won’t let anyone touch him,” Maheer promised.

 

“Good. Or else our conversation following that won’t be fun,” Liam warned. Maheer nodded and got up from his seat as Liam did. “It was nice meeting you. Now we’ll see you here tomorrow 7 a.m. so you can accompany Zayn to class.”

 

“No problem. See you tomorrow,” Maheer said.

 

“Ameera will forward all information about pay and important documents to you, but otherwise we’re all good,” Liam said.

 

“Great. And thank you so much Mr. Payne,” Maheer said.

 

“No problem. And don’t forget what I said about the importance of this situation,” Liam replied. Maheer nodded and shook hands with them all before Ameera walked him to the elevators.

 

“What did you think?” Liam asked Zayn.

 

“He seems fine. Honest. Nice,” Zayn answered with a shrug.

 

“And your gut? What is it telling you?” Liam tugged Zayn into his side and kissed his cheek.

 

“My gut seems to think it’s fine.” Zayn sighed.

 

“Good. I wouldn’t have done it if you felt off about him,” Liam said.

 

“I trust you and your choices, jaan,” Zayn murmured. He tilted his face up for a kiss and Liam leaned down to capture his soft lips.

 

“I love you and only want the best for you. And that includes you being comfortable with the person no matter how qualified they are,” Liam said in a soft voice.

 

“Thank you, Li. You’re going to incredible lengths to keep little old me safe. I’ll be fine.” Zayn leaned his head against Liam’s chest and sighed.

 

“Well I love your little old self and need you safe and happy. And I’d go to any length for that. Even if it cost me everything I have to my name.” Liam nuzzled the top of Zayn’s head and kissed his fluffy hair.

 

“Jaan…” Zayn whispered. He just hugged Liam and held onto him tightly. “Let’s hope Max and Jason stop their bullshit once and for all so I won’t need a bodyguard for long.”

 

“Don’t worry. I promise you I’ve already started to deal with them. I’ve been told Max is out of the country otherwise I would have bashed his face in as well. But I have people investigating his company which is going to send a nice warning to him,” Liam said.

 

“I just want it all to go away,” Zayn said.

 

“I’m so sorry, my love. You don’t deserve any of this. They went after you just because I love you… and that has been causing me so much pain. But I swear, they will pay,” Liam affirmed. “They will pay for everything they put you through.” Zayn just nodded and curled himself closer as he gripped Liam’s hand tightly.

 

“I love you,” Liam murmured.

 

“Love you too. Always,” Zayn whispered back.

 

 

**

 

 

Zayn rubbed his eyes tiredly as he walked into the kitchen, his eyes reviewing notes in his hand for his test. As he walked in he saw Liam with his back to the entrance, typing something on his MacBook as he sipped his coffee. Zayn smiled and snuck up behind Liam to jump onto his back. Liam barely flinched and caught Zayn’s legs as they came around his waist.

 

“Morning, angel.” Liam turned back with a grin and kissed Zayn’s cheek.

 

“Morning,” Zayn whispered with a smile and pressed a kiss to the corner of Liam’s mouth.

 

“Morning.”

 

Zayn jerked and saw Maheer standing on the side, giving him a small smile. Zayn frowned and slowly climbed off Liam as the sight of his new bodyguard reminded him of everything going on. “Good morning,” Zayn replied shortly. He walked over to the fridge and pulled out orange juice to pour himself a glass.

 

“Baby, Maheer is going to be with you as long as you’re on campus so you can give him a rundown of your schedule. And just let me know if you plan on going anywhere else or your plans change, otherwise I’ll be worried,” Liam said.

 

“Just two classes. A short shift at work. I have to go by my dorm to grab some stuff. Maybe see Harry and Louis,” Zayn answered.

 

“Well he’ll stay with you until you come home. Is that okay?” Liam questioned.

 

“Well, umm…” Zayn shot Maheer a look. “I don’t need to be watched when I’m with Harry and Louis.”

 

“It’s part of my job to be with you every second while I’m on duty,” Maheer said.

 

“My friends are safe.” Zayn gave him a furrowed look.

 

“Zayn,” Liam said carefully while raising his brows, probably wondering why Zayn was suddenly grumpy.

 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that,” Zayn apologized.

 

“It’s fine. I don’t want to make it seem like I’m overwhelming you,” Maheer said kindly.

 

“Maheer, Zayn’s friends are fine. And if he wants space when he’s near them. Let him have it. Just stay outside or nearby at a safe distance. You’re mostly needed to be close when Zayn will be alone. This Jason person seems to be pop up when Zayn is alone,” Liam told him.

 

“Of course,” Maheer answered.

 

Zayn sighed and put down his juice glass. “Li, I have to go but can I talk to you alone first?”

 

“Sure.” Liam said and took his hand to go over to the living room. “Do you not like Maheer? I can let him go.”

 

“No… it’s fine. He’s doing his job. I just wanted to talk to you. I know you’re going to be worried for me all day. And I don’t want you to be. I’ll be fine. I have a bodyguard now, yeah? I don’t want you to be too stressed,” Zayn said in a low voice.

 

“Oh, baby,” Liam said in a soft, fond voice and tugged Zayn into his arms. “You’re an angel did you know that? You went through so much and are still concerned for me. Don’t be. I do feel better that Maheer is around, I won’t lie. But if you don’t like him or you feel he’s overwhelming, tell me right away. I won’t do anything that stresses you out. And we need to talk about these things.”

 

“I promise,” Zayn said and smiled at Liam. He wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and kissed him. The man wrapped him in a hug and kissed him back tenderly before pecking him across his face.

 

“One more thing,” Liam said. “I got you a new number and SIM card so that you don’t have to look at or get texts from Jason anymore. I know he can probably find your new number some way like he did before, but I made sure you don’t get texts from blocked numbers. Only recognized ones. I know how anxious those texts made you.”

 

“Thank you, jaan,” Zayn felt stunned, but grateful. He hadn’t even been thinking about the texts and this felt like a relief.

 

“Here.” Liam handed him a white iPhone box. “New phone as well because your old screen cracked, also thanks to the blocked texts.”

 

“Liam… I could have just gotten it repaired,” Zayn whispered.

 

“Yeah but it would take time and I don’t want you to be hassled. That phone has bad memories attached to it as well I’m guessing. So, fresh start. And the new SIM is added,” Liam replied.

 

“You… you’re incredible… I’ve been so overwhelmed that I couldn’t even think about what steps to take. I’m glad I told you,” Zayn whispered shakily.

 

“And I’m glad you told me, angel.” Liam cupped his face and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Good luck with your test today. And if you do step away from Maheer because you’re overwhelmed, please, please be careful. I love you.”

 

“I love you more,” Zayn breathed. He grabbed a hold of Liam’s tie so he could lean up and kiss him again. “Bye, jaan.”

 

“Bye, my love.” Liam murmured and kissed his temple.

 

Zayn hugged Liam once more, then took his new phone, grabbed his backpack and went to the front door. He let Maheer know that he was leaving and the man accompanied him out. Zayn felt awkward and silent around him. His anxiety already made him stressed around strangers and coupled with what had occurred recently, Zayn was even more wary around people who he wasn’t close to. He sighed and prepared himself to adjust to the change in his life.

 

 

**

 

 

Zayn had finished his test and he walked out of the classroom to find Maheer sitting on the same bench outside the room where he had left him. He looked up as Zayn walked out. Zayn gave him an awkward wave and pointed to the door to exit the building. He nodded and jogged over so they could exit. 

 

“Where to next?” Maheer asked.

 

“I have two hours before my shift. My friends are going to meet me for lunch in an hour,” Zayn replied. They were passing by the student centre where the art club room was and Zayn faltered for a second.

 

“Everything okay?” Maheer asked.

 

“N-nothing,” Zayn muttered.

 

“Did you see that Jason guy?” Maheer scanned the ground quickly.

 

“No. I just… there’s an art room in there. People can come in whenever they want and make art. Jason introduced me to it. And I really liked it. But then he attacked me in there and the thought of the place makes me sick,” Zayn replied.

 

“Do you like making art, Zayn?” Maheer asked.

 

“Yes…” Zayn answered slowly.

 

“Well don’t let that fucker- excuse my language- ruin that for you,” Maheer added.

 

“It’s not… I can’t,” Zayn muttered.

 

“Look. I don’t want to sound harsh. But you have to step up and not let that jackass ruin your life or things that you like. Take authority, and take back whatever you love. Show him that you won’t back down. Go in there,” Maheer said.

 

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Zayn said, feeling annoyed.

 

“Listen,” Maheer said with a sigh. “I’m sorry. I have a tendency to be brash and I get the feeling that either you’re awkward around me because I’m a stranger or you just don’t like me. But I’m going to tell you something personal which I don’t share with my employers because it’s not necessary. But I hope it helps you.”

 

“What?” Zayn asked curiously.

 

“When I was 13 years old. I was being followed… watched… you can say preyed upon. It was this man who lived in our neighbourhood. He would sit near my skate-park and watch me skateboard. Without moving. He started asking me questions… personal… I won’t tell you the details… but it was getting dangerous. When my parents found out after he tried to invite me home, they told the police and filed a restraining order. He went away but I couldn’t go back to the skate park. He took away something I loved. But one day, as I sat in my room… I realized I was done letting him control my life through the fear he instilled. And I took charge, and went back. It was tough... but when I started skating again, it actually helped me heal. And that’s why I became a bodyguard as well.” Maheer finished off with a deep sigh and Zayn looked at him silently.

 

“I- I’m so sorry,” Zayn said. “I’m so sorry for what happened to you and I’m sorry if I’ve been giving the impression that I’m annoyed. I’m not annoyed. I’m extremely wary of strangers after Jason took advantage like he did. I want to go to the art room again… but thinking about him possibly being there makes me so anxious.”

 

“Well… that’s why you have a bodyguard,” Maheer said with a grin. “Come on.”

 

Zayn sighed and slowly followed Maheer as they walked into the building. Zayn lead him to the art room and they walked in. Zayn’s steps slowed down a little as he walked in. But he didn’t see Jason anywhere and saw a few other people working. He spotted his painting of the sunset still sitting on the side and he walked over to it, with a smile.

 

“You’re very talented,” Maheer complimented.

 

“Thank you,” Zayn answered. He sat down on a stool and pulled his sketchpad out of his backpack.

 

“That’s even more brilliant.” Maheer whistled as Zayn flipped open his pad to the first page. It was his sketch of Liam and Zayn smiled as he traced his finger over Liam’s sketch.

 

“I mean Mr. Payne is already one good-looking dude but your sketch enhances it somehow,” Maheer said.

 

“Are you… hitting on my boyfriend?” Zayn said confusedly.

 

“No. Don’t worry,” Maheer laughed and patted Zayn’s back. “I’ve always been a bit of a fan and when I heard Liam Payne was interviewing me I was so nervous. But I’m very professional and I know he’s my boss.”

 

Zayn grinned and flipped through his book until he came to his incomplete sketch. “Since we’re here, can I work on this?”

 

“Sure. I’ll be right here.” Maheer sat down on nearby stool and pulled out his phone.

 

 

**

 

 

“So, are you sure you’re feeling better?”

 

Harry was looking at him in concern and Zayn nodded as he sipped his coke. He was at McDonalds having lunch with Harry and Louis and they had both been gazing at him worriedly the entire time. He had told them to stop worrying since he was feeling better but they wouldn’t stop acting cautious.

 

“Guys stop treating me like I’m going to break. I’m better. Telling Liam was the right choice,” Zayn told them.

 

“And the protection must help?” Louis said with a glance towards Maheer who sat on a table far away, eating his own burger and looking at his phone. Every few minutes he looked up at Zayn and nodded at him and glanced around the restaurant.

 

“I mean… I was unsure at first because walking around with a bodyguard is awkward. But he’s nice and it helps if someone can keep an eye out for Jason so that I don’t have to constantly keep looking over my shoulder,” Zayn said.

 

“He’s hot too,” Louis said appreciatively.

 

“Lou,” Zayn groaned.

 

“You think he’s into guys?” Louis asked.

 

Zayn looked over to Harry who looked slightly hurt for a second but then he went back to eating his fries. “I don’t know Lou. That’s a personal question and I only know him professionally. And even if he is, you can’t sleep with him.”

 

“You suck, Zaynie,” Louis complained. Zayn shrugged and picked up his burger to take a bite.

 

“Don’t you two have to work?” Harry asked.

 

“Yeah, we should go Zee,” Louis said.

 

“Haz I’m going to come to the dorm tonight to grab a few things. Will you be there?” Zayn asked.

 

“Yeah. I have a paper due and a video to film so I’m going back now and I will be there all evening,” Harry replied.

 

“See you then babe,” Zayn murmured and hugged Harry. The curly-haired boy grinned and kissed his cheek multiple times before letting him go. Zayn signalled Maheer that they were leaving and the other man got up to follow him out.

 

 

**

 

 

“I’ve never had Pakistani food. What would you recommend?”

 

Zayn contemplated Maheer’s question as they rode up the elevator to Liam’s penthouse. He had finished his shift at work, gotten his necessities from his dorm room, and was now back home. All he looked forward to was burying himself in Liam’s strong arms and taking a nap.

 

“Start with biryani, chicken tikka, some spicy chaats… and work your way up. My mom and aunts make some of the best food. But if you want to try a restaurant, there’s one in Brooklyn you’ll like. I’ll text you the address,” Zayn said.

 

“Cool. Thanks,” Maheer answered.

 

“You’re Muslim right?” Zayn asked as he saw a small gold chain with the word ‘Allah’ on it swing out of Maheer’s shirt.

 

“Yeah. My parents are both Lebanese although my dad is Muslim and my mom is Christian,” Maheer replied.

 

“That’s pretty cool,” Zayn answered as he punched in the code to Liam’s door. As the door opened, he turned and smiled at Maheer. “Thanks for not overwhelming me. And you actually helped out with the art club.”

 

“No problem. I swear I’ll never be breathing down your neck. But I also won’t let you get hurt,” Maheer promised. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

 

“Sure. Did you want to get something to drink or…?” Zayn asked.

 

“Nah. I know you’re probably tired of me and just want to be alone now. Mr. Payne is home right?” Maheer asked.

 

“Yes. He texted me that he’s back,” Zayn said. “My class tomorrow isn’t until 9 a.m. so you can get here by 8.”

 

“Great. See you Zayn.” Maheer walked away with a smile towards the elevators. Zayn waved at him then walked into the penthouse and locked the door.

 

He could hear noise from the kitchen so he walked in and found Mary preparing dinner. “Hi, Mary. Where’s Liam?” Zayn asked.

 

“Hi, sweetheart. He’s in his office. But he asked that you stay in here when you arrive until he comes to get you.” She was giving him a wide grin with a twinkle in her eyes. Zayn was confused as he wondered what was going on.

 

“Why?” Zayn questioned her suspiciously.

 

Mary shrugged and pointed to the intercom. Zayn went over to it and buzzed Liam in his office. “Hi, jaan. I’m home.”

 

There was no reply and Zayn walked over to the fridge for a bottle of water. A few moments later, arms wrapped around his body and a kiss was dropped to his shoulder and head. “My baby… I missed you today,” Liam murmured.

 

“Mmm. But it’s not even in the same neighbourhood as to how much I missed you.” Zayn grinned and turned around to fold himself into Liam’s arms.

 

“Oh, but you think.” Liam smiled affectionately at him and ran his fingers through Zayn’s hair before pressing a kiss to his lips. “How did today go?”

 

“Okay. Good, actually. I didn’t think I would feel better today, but surprisingly I do. Maheer seems like a decent guy so that’s good too,” Zayn said.

 

“I’m glad, angel,” Liam replied and cupped his face tenderly to sprinkle kisses across it. “I may have something to brighten your day further.”

 

“Cheesecake? Because that’s what I’ve been craving all day,” Zayn joked.

 

Liam laughed and kissed his head. “We can have that too. But no. Come with me.” Liam placed a hand over Zayn’s eyes and led him out of the kitchen.

 

“Where are we going?” Zayn asked, nervously.

 

“You’ll see,” Liam murmured. They came to a stop after a few moments and Liam kissed the nape of his neck. “Because I fall in love with you more and more whenever you sing…”

 

Liam lifted his hand and Zayn blinked once before he froze. They were in the living room and in front of the large glass windows, was a shiny black grand piano. Zayn blinked a few times wondering if it would disappear. But it didn’t.

 

“Jaan… what…” Zayn felt speechless.

 

“Zayn your voice is incredible. And despite you saying that you haven’t played the piano in years, you were incredible when you played that first time at the other house. I want this to be a source of comfort for you here as well. And a way for you to practice if you like,” Liam said and kissed head.

 

“Babe… this is… a lot…” Zayn whispered. He felt drawn to the piano like a magnet and went over to it to run his hand across the smooth black surface. He pressed a few keys and smiled at the sound. He felt a hand on his hip and Liam’s warmth along his back.

 

“Your talent deserves to be explored Zayn. You’re really good. And this way I get to hear you play for me. One man shows,” Liam said with a soft smile.

 

“You’re too much Liam Payne. Too much. Thank you for this. Thank you everything.” Zayn gently pushed Liam to sit back on the piano bench. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to his lips, then sat in Liam’s lap facing the piano. “Now I only have a few songs memorized, for anything else, I would need sheet music.”

 

“Play anything you want,” Liam said. Zayn thought for a second, then he grinned to himself and started playing a quick tune.

 

“I think I recognize that…” Liam said slowly.

 

Zayn giggled and started singing along with the music. “Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb. Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow…”

 

Liam started laughing and he tickled Zayn’s sides gently which made the boy squeal and mess up the song. Zayn turned around quickly to straddle Liam in the midst of his laughs and he hugged him tightly.

 

“Thank you for this Li. You have no idea how wonderful you are and amazing this gift is. You keep going above and beyond and I’m always left stunned. I wish I had something just as incredible for you,” Zayn said.

 

“I already have the most incredible person in the world in my arms. What more do I need?” Liam murmured and kissed his forehead.

 

“You’re one upping my cheesiness babe,” Zayn said with a laugh.

 

“It’s all for you, baby boy,” Liam answered with a grin and kissed him.

 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you Liam,” Zayn sighed and pressed his face into Liam’s neck to litter it with kisses.

 

“Well you’ll never have to know,” Liam murmured.

 

 

**

 

 

“What’s happening on the Freeman-Pierce forefront?”

 

“Hoping they’ve crawled into a hole to die. But also showing them that they should never have fucked with me.”

 

Liam pushed aside a few files and looked across his desk to see Niall watching him carefully. “Why?” Liam asked.

 

“Jason got thrown out of college thanks to you. You have the feds investigating Max’s business… although he doesn’t know about it… but you beat up his younger brother. And he’s quiet. This feels off, Liam,” Niall said.

 

“I know that. And that is why I hired Maheer for Zayn. I know those fuckers are out there somewhere waiting for an opportunity. And I need Zayn to stay safe until I shut them down for good,” Liam replied.

 

“I’m with you,” Niall said firmly. “Every step of the way. But remember that you can’t let them get to you in a way that you spiral out of control. You’re the better person Liam. Don’t let them make you lose sight of that.”

 

“I know, Ni.” Liam sighed.

 

“Good. Now let the feds handle bringing down Max and you just keep an eye out for him,” Niall said.

 

“It’s been more than a week since that night Jason roofied Zayn. I find it strange that they just crawled away. Knowing Max, he would have come to me to say some stupid shit. But he was hiding out of the country,” Liam muttered.

 

“Well he can stay wherever the fuck he is,” Niall added. “Is Zayn still staying with you?”

“He was. But yesterday night he went back. He said he wants to try sleeping at his dorm again. He missed Harry as well,” Liam said. “I’m going to see him for lunch today but after that he has work.”

 

“Make sure Zayn keeps the bodyguard with him at all times. I have a bad feeling that Max isn’t done,” Niall said.

 

“I think so too,” Liam replied with anger burning in his body.

 

 

 

**

 

 

“I’ll call you when I’m off work and when I’m back in my dorm. I promise.”

 

“Please do. Or I’ll be worried.”

 

Zayn pulled back from Liam with a smile and stepped onto his tiptoes to peck Liam’s lips. Liam wrapped his arms around Zayn’s waist and gave him a loving smile.

 

“Don’t worry about me, jaan,” Zayn whispered reassuringly. “I’ll be fine.”

 

“You will be. I know you will. But I also worry. Because you’re my angel. My heart. And I would die before I let anything happen to you,” Liam murmured.

 

“I would never let you. I’d sacrifice myself first,” Zayn said.

 

“Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that baby,” Liam sighed and pressed his lips to his forehead.

 

“I think I need to start my shift. My manager is looking at me.” Zayn felt a little embarrassed as his manager Sam looked at him from behind the counter. He had been standing in the doorway with Liam, saying goodbye for the past fifteen minutes. He was probably a few minutes late for work already.

 

“Mmm. Fine. I really don’t want to let you go. But I guess I have to,” Liam murmured.

 

“You kinda have to,” Zayn said with a giggle and hugged Liam quickly. He also pressed a fleeting kiss to his lips before turning to walk away. Liam caught his hand and Zayn turned around confused.

 

“I love you,” Liam said with a soft smile.

 

Zayn grinned and turned back to hug Liam and kiss him again. “I love you too. I love you more. I love you forever and always, meri jaan.”

 

Liam chuckled and kissed him before Zayn broke away from him and finally went to work. Liam blew him a kiss as he exited the door. Zayn felt his heart warm but also flutter anxiously as he watched Liam walk away. Looking to the side, he saw Maheer sitting in the corner of the café where he would wait until Zayn’s shift was over. He nodded in Zayn’s direction and the boy gave him a polite smile before he turned to start his work.

 

 

**

 

“Are you okay? You look a little pale.”

  
  
Zayn adjusted his backpack and shot Maheer a weak smile. “I’m exhausted. And I think all the recent stress is now attacking my body in the form of a fever. I feel an ache in my bones and I was getting hot and cold flashes all day.”

 

“Well when you get home drink some tea and take a pill. Kill the bug before it starts. And maybe skip class tomorrow. You really overwork yourself Zayn,” Maheer said.

 

“Are you saying that because you want a day off?” Zayn joked.

 

“No,” Maheer laughed. “But you need one.”

 

They arrived in front of Zayn’s residence hall where only a few kids were loitering outside since it was close to 10 p.m. on a weeknight. Zayn turned to Maheer and gave him a smile. “You don’t have to walk me up you know. I’ll be fine. You can go home and rest.”

 

“Well promise me that you’ll go straight up.” Maheer gave him a look.

 

“I promise,” Zayn said with a tired laugh. “You, Liam and all my friends are such worriers.”

 

“Rightly so. You’re a good kid Zayn. Take care of yourself alright?” When Zayn nodded, Maheer patted his back with a smile and walked away. Zayn walked into the building and went up to his room. He entered and threw his bag on the bed with a yawn, realizing Harry wasn’t there. Zayn shrugged, knowing that Harry was probably next door. He opened his bag to pull out his phone charger when he realized his sketchbook was missing.

 

“Oh no,” Zayn said worriedly. He had been working on a sketch while on break at work and he had probably forgotten it in the employee room. Some of his sketches in there were private. Like his multiple sketches of Liam shirtless or in bed. Zayn knew someone at work would find it and see the sketches. He needed to get it back. It was worth too much. And he also felt embarrassed about anyone seeing his private art. Zayn bit his lip in frustration as he realized Maheer had gone and he would have to go back alone. But if he ran there and ran back he would only be out for no more than 20 minutes, since the café was right on campus. Sam was still at work closing up so he could get there in time. Zayn sighed and decided to go for it. He grabbed his bag and phone and left again.

 

Zayn practically ran to the café and got there out of breath. Sam was locking the door as she was leaving and Zayn hastily explained to her what he needed. She chuckled and let him in to retrieve it. When he found it safely, he smiled and ran back out. Sam gave him a smile as he said, ‘good night’ and turned to head back. Zayn was rushing back to his dorm when his phone rang. He practically jumped and pulled his phone out to see that it was Liam calling.

 

“Hi, jaan,” Zayn panted.

 

“Are you running a marathon or you know, thinking of me?” Liam teased.

 

“Both,” Zayn joked. “No, I’m running. I uh- I’m just heading back to the dorm.” Zayn said as he slowed down his walk.

 

“What do you mean? Maheer texted me 15 minutes ago that he was done for the night because he had dropped you off,” Liam said confusedly.

 

“Ummm… I forgot my sketchpad at work and I ran all the way back to get it,” Zayn said as he maneuvered through a small pathway that was a shortcut back to his building.

 

“Zayn,” Liam’s tone was ringing with concern. “Baby, I don’t want to seem like I’m acting like a crazy person or suffocating you in any way. But I hired Maheer for a reason.”

 

“I know, jaan. I’m sorry but he had gone home already and I didn’t want to call him back. I’m literally five minutes from my building,” Zayn reassured him.

 

“Okay good,” Liam sighed. “I panic when it comes to you. You’re my whole entire world, angel. I lose my mind just thinking about anything happening to you.”

 

“I’m fine, Li. I promise,” Zayn said as he came to a stop outside the back door to his building. “And you can breathe because I’m back at my building. Safe and sound.”

 

“Good. I’m sorry, it’s just that I love you so fucking much,” Liam murmured.

 

“I love you too,” Zayn said with a wide smile. “I love you so much, Liam. I love you so much, I could drown in it. And everything will be okay.”

 

“It will, my love. It will,” Liam answered softly. “Now I have to head back. I’m at a dinner with some clients but I had to say good night to you before you fell asleep.”

 

“Okay. Good night, jaan. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” Zayn replied as he dug through his bag looking for his key.

 

“Good night, angel. I love you,” Liam said in a warm tone.

 

“Love you too.” Zayn smiled and shut and shut his phone. He put it into his pocket so he could properly search for his keys in his bag.

 

“How sweet.”

 

Zayn froze as he heard the chilling voice that haunted his dreams. His heart screeched to a halt. Before he could turn around or scream, a hand clamped over his mouth and he was tugged back with force. Zayn tried to scream and struggled with every ounce of strength in his body. His glasses fell off his face and knocked to the ground. A hand over his mouth, an arm wrapped around his stomach and he was tugged back into a car. He pulled away desperately and tried to scream but nothing escaped his mouth. Only frantic tears fell from his eyes onto the hand covering his mouth.

 

 

**

 

 

“Mr. Yates on line one.”

 

“Thanks, Lesley.”

 

Liam picked up his phone to answer the call as Ameera walked into his office carrying a stack of papers. “Morning Mr. Yates.” Liam signalled Ameera to put the papers down as she walked over. As Liam continued to talk on the phone Ameera shuffled through his outgoing paper pile and picked up a few items. She sat on the edge of the desk and tapped on her watch as Liam talked to his club manager from Chicago. After a few minutes of the tiring call, Liam shut the phone and got up.

 

“Everyone is here Liam. They’re waiting for you,” Ameera said.

 

“I know, I know. It’s been an insane morning,” Liam sighed as he grabbed his phone and iPad to walk with Ameera to the conference room. It was only 9 a.m. and he had already had a hectic morning filled with a long conference call with the project head in Vegas and now he had another meeting to attend. As they walked to the conference room, Liam texted Zayn a good morning message knowing he would be waking up right now for his class. Then he walked into the crowded conference room with a ‘good morning’ and sat down at the head of the table.

 

One of the interns handed out briefs to everyone as someone else started up a presentation on the screen. Liam looked up as the preliminary brief to the meeting started. He rubbed his temples and tried his best to pay attention as the meeting started to drag on. He gave his own input to the ideas they were discussing and then sat back and listened to his subordinates as they started talking. Liam was listening to one of the women speak when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He looked down briefly, not wanting to interrupt the meeting, when he saw Harry’s name on his screen. He frowned, wondering why Harry was texting him so early in the morning. He thought of waiting till the meeting was over, but something nagged his brain and he unlocked his phone to read it.

 

**From Harry: I know Zayn is sort of obsessed with you, but tell him to at least spend two nights here before he runs off to stay with you again. You’re stealing my best friend Liam :(**

Liam frowned as his heart rate sped up. What did Harry mean by that? He quickly sent a message back

 

**To Harry: What do you mean? Zayn’s been back at the dorm for two nights.**

There was a pause that felt like an entire decade had passed before three dots appeared in the screen and Harry’s message eventually came through.

 

**From Harry: ??? No?? Zayn didn’t come home last night. He didn’t sleep here.**

Liam had felt like someone had punched him in the gut and he shot out of his seat. Everyone in the room silenced and stared at him in surprise. He ignored everyone and everything and burst from the meeting room as he hit the call button on Harry’s phone.

 

“Liam, tell me you’re fucking with me?” Harry said frantically as he picked up.

 

“Zayn isn’t with me Harry! He was at his dorm last night! I called him to say goodnight literally as he entered the dorm after returning from work!” Liam shouted as he stormed back in to his office.

 

“N-no... no he didn’t,” Harry said, fearfully. “He didn’t sleep here. He didn’t even return. His bed is still made, his backpack isn’t here either. I’ve been texting him but he isn’t replying.”

 

Liam grabbed a hold of his desk as the world seemed to spin around him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. Zayn had reached his dorm safely last night when they had been talking. This was just a bad dream.

 

“Are you sure he isn’t in Louis’ room?!” Liam said, his voice shaking.

 

“No!” Harry choked out. “Liam, I’m scared something has happened! I was in Louis’ room till like 10:30 and came back to my room and Zayn wasn’t here. I assumed he was late coming back from work so I fell asleep because Maheer would be with him, right? But he wasn’t here this morning either and his chemistry textbook is here which is the class he has today.”

 

“He was on the phone with me around 10:15 and said he had reached the dorm hall safely. He had gone to get his sketchpad from work because he had left it there and Maheer had already gone home,” Liam practically yelled.

 

“Where can he be?! He wouldn’t be in Brooklyn!” Harry said in distress.

 

“Harry, I’m coming over.” Liam didn’t wait for a reply. He shut his phone and practically ran from his office. Ameera was walking out of the conference room and she shot him a confused  look.

 

“What is going on Liam? I had to tell everyone that you got an emergency call and they could just carry on,” Ameera told him.

 

“It’s Zayn.” Liam gave that one simple reply and ran to the elevators. He smacked the button and waited for it to ascend. It was taking so long that he slapped it angrily multiple times.

 

“Liam! What happened to Zayn?” Ameera asked worriedly as she came up to him. Liam shook his head, unable to speak, unable to imagine what could have happened. The elevator finally arrived and Liam rushed in and hit the lobby button. Ameera came in with him and just watched him terrified, as he refused to speak. He didn’t even bother calling Patrick. As he reached the sidewalk outside, he flagged down a cab and rushed out the address for Zayn’s dorm. Ameera sat with him and told him to breathe as they drove away.

 

“If anything happened to him. I swear to God...” Liam said through clenched teeth.

 

When they reached the dorm, Liam jumped from the car as Ameera stayed back to pay the driver. Liam took the steps five at a time as he ran up to the fifth floor. He pushed past students coming from the bathrooms with toothbrushes and leaving their rooms in pajamas. They all stared at him as he rushed down the hall and yanked open Zayn’s room door. He stopped in the doorway as he saw Harry and Louis sat on the bed. Harry crying as Louis held him.

 

“Harry,” Liam said in a tight voice.

 

“Liam…” Harry looked up tearfully and stood. “Liam, where is he? Where’s Zayn?”

 

Liam shook his head as his body roared with fear and panic. He was going to be sick. “I don’t know…”

 

“You said he came to the building safely? Are you sure?” Louis asked.

 

“Around 10:15, I called him and he told me how he had run back to work to retrieve his sketchpad because he had forgotten it. I was concerned that he went without Maheer but he said it was okay because he ran there and ran back. He told me he had reached the building safely and then we said goodnight. I don’t know if that meant outside the building or inside here.” Liam tugged a frustrated hand through his hair as he fought the urge to scream. Where was Zayn? Was he okay? What had happened to his angel?

 

“He never came home,” Harry choked out.

 

“Liam.” Liam turned around and saw Ameera and Maheer walking in. The other guy looked pale.

 

“Mr. Payne, I- I dropped him off and he promised me that he was going straight up. I swear to God, I had no idea…” Maheer said, his voice shaking.

 

Liam looked away from him, not wanting to take out his frustration on someone who wasn’t technically at fault. “I’m going to call a friend of mine in the NYPD and I’m also going to retrace Zayn’s steps from work. To see if there is anything. Harry, can you call Zayn’s parents just to eliminate one place he could potentially be? But don’t tell them anything yet. It’ll just scare them. Be vague.”

 

Harry nodded and started dialling a number on his phone. Liam signalled to Louis to follow him outside. “Can you show me the path Zayn would take to work from here?”

 

Louis nodded and they both went outside. They walked to the café in silence that hung with the fear of what could have happened to Zayn. When they started to walk back without seeing anything, Liam had a thought.

 

“Louis… is there another way… like a shortcut? Zayn said he got back as quickly as he could and could he possibly have taken a shortcut?” Liam asked.

 

“Well there’s this pathway that is shorter if we cut around the library. This way we circle to the back of the residence hall instead of walking the longer way to front. It’s pretty creepy at night so I avoid it.” Louis paused and looked at Liam. “Could Zayn have taken it?”

 

Liam shook his head in confusion. Louis started leading him down the shortcut. They were nearing some dumpsters at the back of the dorm hall when Liam’s phone rang. It was Harry.

 

“Yeah?” Liam asked with some hope.

 

“He’s not in Brooklyn,” Harry said in a low voice.

 

“Okay.” Liam shut the phone, feeling the crack inside him start to deepen. They got to the back door of the building and Liam felt his panic increasing because they hadn’t found a single clue. Louis gave him a fearful look and Liam closed his eyes. He took out his phone to call his friend in the NYPD and was about to dial when Louis grabbed his arm.

 

“Liam…” Louis whispered. Liam paused and looked up. Louis was looking towards the ground near the back door with fear on his face. When Liam saw what Louis had seen, his fear tripled and was accompanied by burning anger. Liam slowly walked over and crouched down to pick up the item. Zayn’s glasses. Covered in dust and cracked through one lens. Liam’s heart stopped and his head started to spin. He ran tentative fingers over the glasses and thought of Zayn’s wide, _beautiful_ hazel eyes that sparkled behind these glasses. His lashes that were so long that they sometimes seemed crushed behind the glass. The nervous way he fiddled with these very glasses. When he was blushing and he’d lower his gaze and push them up from the bridge of his nose. Liam wanted to scream. Or punch the brick wall. What had happened to Zayn?

 

“Do you think… Jason?” Louis whispered.

 

Liam closed his eyes tightly, unable to accept the truth. What he had been fearing and protecting Zayn from, had happened. Liam walked upstairs on heavy feet. He entered Zayn’s room with a thundering heart and found Harry siting with his head on Ameera’s shoulder as she consoled him.

 

“Well?” Ameera asked hopefully.

 

Liam shook his head and showed her Zayn’s glasses. There was silence in the room as everyone exchanged fearful glances. Liam sat down on Zayn’s desk chair and stared at the polaroid photos above his desk. He tugged down a phot of Zayn and Safaa where they were both laughing so brightly. Zayn’s nose was scrunched, his eyes scrunched, his tongue caught between his teeth. Tears sprang to Liam’s eyes as he touched Zayn’s face. Zayn’s beautiful face. His smile that Liam adored more than anything. His Zayn.

 

“Mr. Payne… I’m so sorry. You asked me to protect him and I wasn’t there…” Maheer said.

 

“Maheer you can go home. I know it wasn’t really your fault but I might end up taking everything out on you,” Liam muttered.

 

Liam didn’t look up from the photo of Zayn. But he heard a whispered ‘I’m sorry’ and then a door closing. The room was dead silent for a long time, only the occasional sniffle from Harry.

 

“What do we do?” Harry eventually asked.

 

“I have to call my friend in the NYPD.” Liam left the room and stood in the corridor as he dialled the number. The man, Gordon Tanner, was a family friend of his and a chief in the crime department. When Liam informed him of the situation, he told him that they would put an alert out with Zayn’s description and Jason and Max. They would also try to locate Max or Jason to question them. Liam thanked the man, then hung up. He stayed in the corridor for a few moments, taking deep breaths. Eventually angry tears spilled out and he punched the wall. His knuckles split but he barely felt the pain because his heart was screaming in worry for Zayn.

 

“Liam…” Ameera touched his arm. “Let’s go back to your place. There’s too many people here. I’ve called Patrick to come get us and Niall is already heading there.”

 

Liam nodded and carefully placed Zayn’s glasses into his pocket. He realized he was still clutching onto the polaroid of Zayn and he slipped that into his pocket as well as they went down, followed by Harry and Louis.

 

“Liam… we have to tell Zayn’s parents,” Harry said.

 

“I’ll do it,” Liam replied in a heavy voice. Patrick had arrived and they all took a long silent car ride to Liam’s place.

 

“Ameera. There’s something the police won’t help me with. I need you to call any place Max may frequent. Restaurants, bars, his work, whatever. Ask Emilia if you need to. I want to know the moment he is spotted anywhere. Tell me immediately,” Liam said. He looked out the window of the car blankly, praying in his heart that Zayn was safe, otherwise this time he wouldn’t let Max or Jason live.

 

 

**

 

_“Heart beats fast, colours and promises. How to be brave, how can I love when I’m afraid… to fall, but watching you stand alone… all of my doubt, suddenly goes away somehow. One step closer…”_

_Liam felt a smile stretch across his face as Zayn’s melodic voice filled the air accompanied by the piano. Liam turned his head to the side and saw Zayn sat at the piano, in nothing but Liam’s white button down as he played and sang softly. Zayn tilted his head and smiled tenderly in Liam’s direction. There was nothing but a few candles lit in the living room, and the moonlight streaming in, which mirrored the softness of Zayn’s voice and presence._

_“I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling, don’t be afraid, I have loved you… for a thousand years. I’ll love you for a thousand more…”_

_Liam got up from the sofa and went and sat down beside Zayn on the piano bench, facing the opposite direction, with his back to the piano. Liam kissed the side of Zayn’s head and kept his eyes trained on Zayn’s face. The boy blushed under the attention but smiled and trailed his eyes back to the sheet music to continue playing and singing. Liam watched with unwavering love and adoration as Zayn played and sang so beautifully._

_“And all along I believed I would find you. Time has brought your heart to me. I have loved you for a thousand years. I’ll love you for a thousand more…”_

_When Zayn finished singing, Liam turned his face towards himself and let his eyes roam over every feature of Zayn’s. Just drank him in. Zayn blinked at him a few times and smiled as he linked his fingers through Liam’s._

_“Always,” Liam murmured. He grabbed Zayn gently by his hips and placed him on the piano. Zayn closed his eyes as Liam mapped out his face with his lips. He let his lips travel slowly to Zayn’s mouth and kissed him until there was no air left in the room._

_“I love you,” Zayn whispered. “And I will love you till my last breath and even after that.”_

_Liam ran his fingers into Zayn’s soft hair and caught his lips in another kiss. Zayn wrapped his bare legs around Liam’s body and tugged him even closer, till their bodies were tangled as one._

Liam blinked as the sounds of Zayn’s soft voice and laugh drifted and the memory faded away. There was no Zayn. There was no singing. There was nothing but darkness as he sat in his room, in the silence, holding Zayn’s glasses and staring down at them. If he thought the night Zayn had arrived at his penthouse crying was painful, this was incomparable to that. This was like an agonizing fire was burning the very skin off his body, melting him to his core, and he couldn’t stop it.

 

“Where are you angel?” Liam whispered tearfully. He closed his eyes and touched his forehead to Zayn’s glasses. “Please come back to me.”

 

The door to his bedroom opened and a crack of light poured in. Liam looked up and saw Ameera standing there, looking stressed.

 

“Liam… Zayn’s parents are here.” Judging by Ameera’s pained voice Liam knew what he’d see downstairs. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Nothing would be worse than facing Zayn’s parents and looking in to their eyes to see the hurt they would be feeling. And Liam hated himself because he had failed to protect Zayn. All the promises he had made had been futile. He knew in his heart that it was his fault.

 

“I’m coming,” Liam murmured. Ameera nodded and walked away. Liam rubbed his face and wiped his tears. Then he pocketed Zayn’s glasses and took a deep breath to go down. It was chaos downstairs. Liam’s friends were over, Ruth was over, Harry and Louis were still here, and Liam’s friend from the NYPD and two of his detectives were here talking to Niall. It was evening time and still no sign of Zayn. Neither had Max nor Jason been spotted anywhere. Emilia didn’t know where they were. Max’s parents were vacationing, as mentioned by their housekeeper, so they wouldn’t know where their sons were either.

 

Liam walked into the living room and saw Zayn’s parents talking to Harry. Tricia was crying, Yaser was distraught and Harry was consoling them. Liam felt his heart start to crack. They had informed Zayn’s parents after getting to Liam’s place earlier. They had been frantic on the phone and Liam had given them as much information as he could. It had taken them time to sort out where to leave the girls before they had been able to arrive. Yaser saw Liam and he gave him such a betrayed look that Liam wanted the ground to swallow him. He only felt that their pain was reflected in each other’s eyes.

 

“Liam,” Tricia said in a tearful, distressed voice. “Where’s my baby?”

 

“Tricia,” Liam said in rough voice, “I’m so, so sorry. I don’t even…”

 

“We trusted you Liam. We trusted you with the most important thing in our life. Our son,” Yaser said in a pained voice. “And you let him get hurt because of some old rivalry you have with someone? What did Zayn do to deserve this? He’s innocent! He’s a good kid. A sweet, kind, wonderful boy. He’s _our_ boy!”

 

“Yaser, it’s not Liam’s fault,” Tricia said between his tears.

 

“It is. It is my fault,” Liam replied in a tortured voice. “I swore to Zayn I would never let anyone touch him. And it happened. Zayn just happened to be in the way of Max’s anger. He was my weakness and they saw that.”

 

“Zayn better be okay, Liam. You better pray to God that he’s okay.” Yaser turned away in anger and walked over to the police.

 

Liam collapsed back against the pillar and rubbed a shaky hand down his face. He felt a gentle hand on his arm and he looked up to see Tricia looking at him, her face streaked with tears. Liam felt his own tears fall from his eyes. Tricia hugged him, her body trembling, and Liam wrapped his own arms around her to hold her tightly.

 

“I’ll find him. I promise. And I won’t spare whoever touched him. I swear,” Liam said in a cracked voice.

 

“Please find him. Please find my baby,” Tricia cried.

 

Liam dropped his face into Tricia’s hair and begged with every fiber of his being for Zayn to appear. He did something he never really did. He prayed to God. He begged God and asked in his heart that Zayn, someone with such steady faith, shouldn’t be harmed. Zayn should be returned safely. Liam wished he could inflict every pain in the world upon himself in return for Zayn. He begged for any punishment, any retribution, but in return Zayn would come back safe and sound. He would face any consequences as long as Zayn was safe.

 

 

 

**

 

 

30 hours. It was interesting how slowly time passed while staring at the ticking hands of a clock. Actually, it wasn’t that interesting. More like agonizing. It was a reminder of how long he had been away. And would be away.

 

Zayn smacked his hand over his watch and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath. Once. Twice. Thrice. Like he was taught. Keep the anxiety in check. Zayn opened his eyes again and turned to look out the window. All he saw were trees. Green. At least that was slightly calming. Another breath. Once. Twice. Thrice. Zayn exhaled and started softly humming to keep himself relaxed. He was a thin line away from having a nervous breakdown. And he couldn’t have that right now. He ran his finger over the Cartier bracelet and thought of Liam. He would be worried sick. Zayn hoped he wasn’t. He sent out a prayer to Allah and asked for Liam to be okay. That his parents weren’t too distraught. That Harry and Louis weren’t too worried. Zayn heard the door being unlocked and turned to the right from where he sat in the window seat. The door opened and he walked in.

 

“Your boyfriend doesn’t seem to get the hint. You don’t wanna pick up, yet he won’t stop calling.”

 

Zayn looked over as Jason shut the door behind himself and walked in eating an apple. He was looking down at Zayn’s phone in his other hand.

 

“And what does jaan mean?” Jason asked. Zayn ignored him and turned back towards the window to look out.

 

“I’ll just google it. Cute picture by the way.” Jason grinned at him and sat down on the bed across from him. “I see we’re still not talking? Well at least eat something. It’s not good to starve yourself.” Jason pushed a plate with a sandwich and fries on it towards him. He also put down a bottle of water.

 

“Why don’t you choke on it?” Zayn muttered.

 

“I like your feisty side better,” Jason snorted.

 

“Go to hell, Jason,” Zayn whispered.

 

When he had been grabbed from outside his dorm hall, a blindfold had been tied on his eyes. He knew he was in a car that drove for a while. Then he had been transported to some strange place. When the blindfold was removed, he was in the bedroom he sat in right now. It seemed like a cabin with the dark walls and the stag head on the wall. The window in the room looked outside into the woods. Jason had been the one to take off his blindfold and when Zayn had screamed and cried and asked what was happening, Jason had left, locking the door. He had taken Zayn’s phone but left his backpack with his books and sketchpad. Today he had returned with food and water throughout the day and he wouldn’t do more than try and talk to Zayn before leaving. After two panic attacks and crying for help, Zayn had admitted defeat and settled down to calm himself. He couldn’t break down completely. No way would he let this psycho see that.

 

“You’re really talented Zayn. I’ll always stand by that,” Jason said as he flipped through Zayn’s sketches. “Damn, you’ve got an obsession with drawing Liam semi-nude. I’d love to draw you like this.” He smirked in Zayn’s direction.

 

“Is that why you brought me here? To finish what you couldn’t on the night of the sorority party?” Zayn asked.

 

“Mmm. I wish. But that time is gone. You should have just slept with me then, Zayn. I could have gotten what I wanted and so would Max. There’s a different plan now. All Max’s idea of course,” Jason said.

 

“What did you psychos plan on getting out of that night? And now?” Zayn questioned.

 

“I’d get you. Because God… did I want you. And I would be helping my brother out. Liam has been fucking up his life. And he deserved a taste of that pain. Of course, you guys would have been so destroyed by it that you would have broken up. Liam would be shattered because he’d know he indirectly caused it. You are his weakness. And then everything around him would collapse,” Jason explained.

 

“Your brother is fucking insane. And by aiding and abetting, you’re no less,” Zayn said with a glare.

 

“You know a little something about unconditional love, Zayn. You would do anything for Liam, wouldn’t you? I would do anything for my brother. I’d kill for him. Helping to destroy Liam Payne is nothing,” Jason said in a low voice.

 

“Love isn’t insanity Jason. It isn’t holding people captive against their will. You have some fucked up kind of love for your brother,” Zayn said in a high voice.

 

“We’re family. He’s always been there for me. Protected me when no one else would. I would do anything for him,” Jason affirmed.

 

“Well whatever this is… it won’t work. I see your black eye still hasn’t healed? After this, Liam will kill you,” Zayn declared.

 

“Oh, but that won’t happen.” Zayn looked up to see Max enter the room. Zayn’s blood ran cold as he looked at Max’s hard face covered in a vicious grin. This was his second time seeing Max after the night of the yacht party and he felt even more revolted. “Because you’re going to help us.”

 

“What?” Zayn asked in a confused tone.

 

Max took out his phone and turned it towards Zayn. “That’s Liam outside his building today. He looks distraught. He’s on the phone. If he happened to walk into traffic and was accidentally hit-”

 

“Don’t touch Liam! You are so God damn fucked up,” Zayn said in a shaky voice.

 

Max smiled and put his phone to the side. He sat down on a chair in front of Zayn and leaned forward. “You love him. You’d do anything for him. And I know he feels the same for you. I felt the same about Emilia, but she left me because of Liam telling her nonsense. I’ve seen them hanging out.”

 

“You hit her,” Zayn reminded him. “How is that Liam’s fault? She left your abusive ass and that’s good on her. You’re a pig-”

 

Zayn reeled back as Max jerked forward from his seat as if he was about to grab Zayn or hit him. Jason quickly tugged him backwards before he could.

 

“Max! You can’t hit him!” Jason yelled.

 

“He should keep his mouth shut! Emilia was the love of my life! And she’s gone! Just like Liam took Vanessa away in college. Just like he took the Vegas bid away. Just like he takes everything away. He has people investigating my business now. He also hit my younger brother and he’ll pay,” Max growled. “Once and for all. I’ll end him.”

 

“Leave him alone!” Zayn shouted through tears. “You started everything. Liam doesn’t want anything to do with you. Why can’t you quit and it’ll all just stop? I’ll even let this kidnapping go.”

“Doesn’t work like that sweetheart,” Max replied.

 

“What do you want from me?” Zayn whispered.

 

“I want you to agree to do what I say,” Max said.

 

“Why?” Zayn murmured.

 

“If you want Liam to be left alone like you say, if you want him to stay safe, you’ll agree.” Max shrugged and leaned back in his seat. “You see Zayn, I have people who took that picture, like I have people who told me Liam’s every move, him buying that cat or even expanding his London hotel. I have the ability to make one call and make some accident occur where no will know what happened to Payne.”

 

“Don’t hurt Liam,” Zayn said through clenched teeth. “Do whatever you want with me… don’t hurt him.”

 

“Would you say that you’d do anything for him?” Max asked.

 

Zayn nodded with angry tears in his ear. “I would,” Zayn replied.

 

“I knew you’d say that,” Max smiled viciously. Then after a pause, he said, “Break his heart.”

 

“W-what?” Zayn stuttered.

 

“Break his heart. If you want Liam to stay safe, want me to stop coming after both of you, break Liam’s heart. You see, trying to harm his business or him physically won’t have the effect like you leaving him would. He doesn’t love anything as much as he loves you. You’re his only weakness. He won’t shatter completely until he loses you,” Max explained with a nasty expression on his face. “He should know what complete devastation feels like.”

 

“I won’t!” Zayn said in a panicked voice. “I would never!”

 

“Oh, but you have to. Don’t you want Liam to stay safe? Alive?” Max asked.

 

“Do whatever you want to me. But please don’t ask me to leave him. He’s my everything. Please!” Zayn felt tears start rolling down his face in thick, distressed streams.

 

“I don’t want anything else from you Zayn. I need to see Liam break. That’s all.” Max leaned back and gave him a stern look.

 

“You’re full of shit. I- I’ll get out of here. I’ll tell the police everything!” Zayn shouted.

 

“I wouldn’t do that. You see, I could be sitting in jail, but it would still take just one phone call to say… disable the breaks on Liam’s car or have some fault happen in his private jet. You saw how easily I took you. I have connections all over the city. Watching Liam, watching you. I could get away easily even if I was in jail,” Max said. “So… would you rather have the satisfaction of getting me arrested but still risk Liam getting hurt? Or protect Liam and yourself and agree to this simple plan.”

 

“You’re so twisted,” Zayn choked out. “I wish you burn in hell.”

 

“Hell is far off, sweetheart. There’s a lot of life left. Especially for you, and it will be full of regret if you risk getting the man you love hurt,” Max told him.

 

“Liam would never buy it. He knows how much I love him. He knows my heart inside out. He knows _me._ I can’t just break up with him like that. He’ll know something strange is going on and he’ll find out,” Zayn tried to reason.

 

“I don’t think so. Because you’ll make it believable. And Liam is probably driving himself crazy thinking that everything that happened to you is his fault. Which is true. If Liam hadn’t come into your life, you’d be safe. None of this would have happened. You’d be living a safe, simple life as a college student. Far from this. You’re just collateral,” Max said.

 

“I don’t care. I don’t regret it despite the pain you put me through because I know none of this is his fault. _You_ are the twisted fuck. This is not on Liam. I love him more than life itself,” Zayn shot back with harsh tears stinging his eyes.

 

“Great. That should be your motivation. Do it for your love. Or you’ll see how firm I am on my word. It shouldn’t be too hard. Just let Liam know that you despise him for all he’s done to you. Or how he’s caused your health to spiral. Or maybe you realized that he’s not a good person and you can’t stand his presence. You want to find love with someone easier and not like the danger he caused for you. You’re an intelligent boy, you’ll figure it out. Make it hurt,” Max said casually.

 

Zayn started to tremble and he covered his face with his hands, he couldn’t cry in front of this bastard. He wouldn’t. But he wanted to die in that very moment. If Liam was his air and he couldn’t even breathe when they were apart… how could he do this? Liam was his safe space. Liam was his heart, soul and life. He felt a thread between their beating hearts, that when strained or torn, he could collapse. He couldn’t leave Liam because he would simply die. He couldn’t break Liam’s heart because it would kill him on the spot. But this deranged man would hurt Liam. And Zayn knew in his heart he would take a bullet for Liam. He would die for him because Liam was his soul. His jaan.

 

“Max please don’t,” Zayn whispered. “I can’t live without him.”

“We all eventually learn to live without the one we love, Zayn. Forever is bullshit. And if you need incentive...” Max slid his phone over to show a picture on it. Liam was standing in the lobby of his building holding onto Ray and talking to Niall and a police officer. Zayn felt confused. This must be happening right now, judging by the immense worry on Liam’s face.

 

“How...” Zayn wondered.

 

“That’s to show you how serious I am. I have someone watching Liam right now. I have someone watching you and him all the time. I had Jason on your case with the texts too, of course sometimes we had someone else send them to throw you off. That cat is cute too. What if he accidentally got hurt? Or Liam. In his worry about your disappearance, he could get into an accident-”

 

“Stop! Please stop!” Zayn screamed. “Don’t!” Zayn covered his face and dragged air into his lungs as a panic attack started to rack his body.

 

“That’s enough for now, Max,” Jason muttered. Max got up suddenly and walked over to the door.

 

“Please… _please_ … don’t hurt Liam,” Zayn begged desperately. His heart was squeezing so painfully, he was pretty sure it would fail and stop beating all together. And he hoped to God it would, because dropping dead right now seemed easier than what Max wanted.

 

“It’s in your hands Zayn,” Max said with a shrug. “I’ll back away from Liam and won’t come after him anymore if you do as I say. And if you need some help in making your decision, how about I make a phone call to push things along?”

 

Zayn watched through a curtain of tears as Max looked at him, unwavering. Zayn knew he would be sick. He wanted to close his eyes and wake up from this nightmare. But it wasn’t a nightmare. He was stuck in hell. And to keep the love of his life safe, Zayn would sacrifice everything he had. He knew it in the moment that Max had first suggested that he could hurt Liam. Zayn’s heart had begged him to agree to anything and keep Liam away from harm. That was his Liam. The man he loved more than anything or anyone. He could die for him. And if distancing himself from Liam was the price, Zayn would step off this ledge and straight on to the bed of nails his heartbreak would be. He took a shaky breath and clutched the Cartier bracelet as he apologized in his heart to Liam, to their love and promises. To everything he would sacrifice for the sake of Liam’s life. Max was looking at him, unblinking, and Zayn kept his eyes trained down on his bracelet, that held the promise of love. When Zayn didn’t respond, Max started to leave the room.

 

“Alright, Zayn. But remember that you chose to allow Liam to get hurt. I hope you can live with that,” Max said as he started to exit.

 

“Stop!” Zayn shouted in panic and heart-wrenching anguish. “J-just stop! Stop! Don’t do it! Stay away from Liam!”

 

“Are you willing to do what it takes?” Max asked.

 

Zayn closed his eyes as tears spilled out, crying for what he knew he was willing to do to keep his entire world safe and alive. Like in a dream-like state, Zayn nodded slowly. Painfully slow, physically hurting, he nodded. “F-fine. But… you can’t touch Liam… promise,” Zayn pushed out slowly as bile rose in his throat.

 

“I do.” Max smiled darkly at him and walked out of the room.

 

Zayn looked forward as his chest started heaving and his throat starting closing. He clawed at it hysterically as his tears rolled out. He wanted to die. He didn’t even care. He would die after he did what Max wanted anyways. He would do anything to make sure Liam wasn’t hurt, but he would crumble to pieces. Crumble in agony. And he prayed to God that he died after that.

 

“I’m sorry things had to go this way,” Jason said and touched his cheek.

 

“Go fuck yourself,” Zayn heaved out. Then he couldn’t even care anymore and he collapsed to the ground to cry in sheer pain. He clutched his throat, gasping for air, and cried in fear, pain and utter heartbreak. He heard the door close distantly and he pounded the floor until his knuckles were bloodied. And he cried till his throat shattered, his lungs closed in, and his body broke into pieces.

 

 

**

 

 

The sun was coming up. The gold and pink hues in the sky seemed like they were celebrating something. But Liam was drowning in misery. In distress. The gold in the sky reminded him only of Zayn’s beautiful eyes. The eyes he wanted to see again more than anything. The eyes he would die to see again. Liam sat on his sofa, like he had all night since everyone had left. He held Zayn’s glasses in one hand and his t-shirt in the other, which smelt like him. His subtle jasmine and almond-blossom scent. Liam pressed his face into Zayn’s shirt and let his tears soak it. He felt useless and hopeless. He wanted to be looking everywhere for Zayn but the police had said there was no point right now. He heard a small purr near his feet and looked down to see Ray.

 

“Where is he, Ray? Where is our Zayn?” Liam said with a heavy sigh. Ray rubbed against his leg and lay down as if he could sense something was horribly wrong.

 

“Come home baby. Please. I’ll never let you go again,” Liam begged silently as he clutched Zayn’s glasses to his heart. The painful silence was interrupted by the shrill of his phone. Liam grabbed it and answered it without even looking at the screen.

 

“Liam!” Harry was panting on the other end. “They found Zayn!”

 

Liam froze in shock for a second, then he got off his sofa and ran for the elevator as Harry breathlessly told him to come to the hospital.

 

 

**

 

 

Liam ran the corridors of the busy hospital with one destination on his mind. Zayn. Zayn was found. Zayn was okay. He felt like he’d collapse with his downright relief. But also fear. He reached the floor Zayn was on and went to the room Harry had specified. Liam burst in and stopped dead in his tracks. Zayn was sitting on the bed. His mom and dad sat beside him, holding his hands and talking to him gently. Harry and Louis stood nearby, relief evident on their faces. Zayn looked exhausted and pale with a bandage on his hand. But otherwise he looked okay. Even then, Liam’s heart shattered with anger at whoever had done that to him. Zayn was nodding slowly to what his parents were saying. He looked up and his eyes met Liam’s. For a second, Liam saw the most severe pain and longing flash in Zayn’s eyes. Then they turned blank and he looked down.

 

“He showed up back at the dorms. He was weak and dehydrated but otherwise okay. They did a complete checkup and he’s fine,” Harry whispered as he came up to Liam.

 

Liam nodded absently as he moved towards the bed. Zayn’s parents moved back and Tricia patted his arm. Liam walked over to the bed and sat down beside Zayn, feeling like he was dreaming. He also felt burdened with a feeling of guilt and didn’t want to spook Zayn by hugging him tightly, like he desperately wanted to. Zayn kept his eyes turned down and Liam’s heart broke into a million pieces.

 

“Angel…” Liam’s voice was pained. He picked up Zayn’s hand and kissed every inch of it. But Zayn’s hand remained limp and his eyes stayed down. “Baby. I’m so, so sorry.” Liam pulled Zayn into a hug and pressed desperate, relieved kisses all over his head. Zayn stayed stone still and didn’t hug him back. His arms stayed limp. Liam didn’t know what had happened. But Zayn’s behaviour was causing him to panic and break inside.

 

“What happened, sweetheart?” Liam moved back and cupped Zayn’s face to search his eyes. But Zayn’s eyes stayed blank and he still refused to look at Liam.

 

“He said he woke up in some unknown room at a cabin and he was just kept there. And then released without any reason. Taken from the back of the dorm and dropped off there too,” Harry explained.

 

“Has anyone called the police?” Liam asked.

 

“No.” Zayn said. He looked Liam in the eyes for the first time with a firmness in his face. “Don’t call the police. I have nothing to say. Nothing happened. It was a dumb scare tactic. I don’t want to get hassled anymore. I’m exhausted.”

 

“Angel…” Liam whispered.

 

“I’d like to rest.” Zayn lay down on the bed and turned his back to everyone. Liam stared at his back, hurting throughout his soul as he felt guilt ridden. Zayn had been hurt. And now Liam gave zero fucks about holding back.

 

“Was it Max?” Liam asked.

 

“Who else has such a need for revenge against you that they could do this?” Zayn said in a low, monotone voice.

 

Liam felt every crack in his body deepen and he collapsed completely. His body crumbled like paper from the inside. Then that paper lit on fire and burned in a bonfire of anger. He couldn’t hear or see or think. Liam got up from the bed and walked straight out the door without another thought.

 

“Liam!” Harry ran after him and grabbed his arm. “Don’t! Not right now! Zayn needs you.”

 

“I’m going to finish him,” Liam said simply. He started storming through the hospital. Harry was dashing after him, yelling for him to stop. As Liam pushed through the front door, he ran into Niall, Tom and Ameera.

 

“Max was spotted entering his office, Liam. Since you asked,” Ameera said. Liam pushed past them without a word.

 

“Liam!” Niall shouted. Liam practically ran to his car. He heard feet pounding on the pavement behind him.

 

“He’ll do something that he’ll regret. Stop him!” Harry was shouting at Niall

 

Liam got into the driver’s seat and started the car. Niall quickly came and stood in front of his car. “Get out of my way or I’ll forget that we're friends,” Liam said through gritted teeth.

 

Niall looked at him for a few seconds, then he came to the side and jumped into the passenger seat. Liam barely gave him a glance and started driving. He was fuelled by instincts of pure rage and he didn’t care what happened to him.

 

 

**

 

The image of Zayn, hurt and distant, is all that played on a loop through Liam’s mind. Since the moment he had met Zayn, all he had known in his heart was that he would never let him get hurt. And now, Zayn was hurt to a degree Liam was unsure of. Even if it wasn’t physically, but emotionally for sure. There was one man who had caused it and Liam would not let him go. Not to forget that he couldn’t stop blaming himself for everything.

 

He pulled to a stop in front of the high-rise building where Max’s office was located on one of the floors. Liam didn’t even turn off his car or park it. He threw open the door, and without closing it, he stormed into the building. The building wasn’t too big and Liam knew that Max’s entire company was located on the 20th floor. Him as well. Niall was hot on his heels telling him to calm down as people stared at him the lobby. Tom and Harry had apparently followed them in another car as well. Liam walked in to the elevator and smacked the button for the 20th floor.

 

“Liam, do you really want to make a scene like this? What are you going to do? Beat him senseless in front of a crowd? That’s what he wants. You’re better than that,” Tom tried to reason.

 

“You don’t get it,” Liam said with a grim shake of his head. “I could care less if he went after anything, even me. But he touched _Zayn._ Okay? And if you don’t get what that means to me…” Liam trailed off as the elevator arrived.

 

“Ok but Li-” Niall started but Liam exited the elevator.

 

Liam walked with a hot fury rising off his skin. He ignored everyone around him and walked towards where he saw an office with Max’s name. He kicked it open, his anger seeping through his pores, and walked in. It was an average sized office and it took him all of one second to spot Max behind his desk. To his right Liam saw a man that had him double take in shock. And then a burst of fresh rage.

 

“Of course,” Liam laughed darkly as Mr. Duvall met his eyes. “Should have known that one pathetic bitch would help out another pathetic bitch.”

 

Liam didn’t give another thought to Duvall’s useless existence. Him working for Max now was a shock and helped explain some things, but it was the least of his worries. Liam looked at Max and saw a cold smile cover his face.

 

“Anything I can help you with Payne?” Max asked. Liam strode to Max in less than two seconds and yanked him from his chair to start raining punches on his face.

 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Niall said to Duvall who turned to call for help.

 

Max tried to fight back, but the adrenaline and pure rage pumping through Liam’s body made it easier for him to beat Max bloody. Max’s resistance became weaker and he turned a little limp as blood covered his face.

 

“That’s enough Liam.” Niall tried to tug him back.

 

“You went too fucking far Freeman. Too fucking far!” Liam yelled as he grabbed Max’s collar and thumped him against the ground. “How dare you touch Zayn?! I’ve always known you were a sick bastard but targeting someone completely innocent? You clearly have no idea what I would do for him!”

 

Max laughed through coughs and looked up at Liam as he wheezed. “Keep this up and Zayn will be so afraid that he’ll walk away himself. I doubt he wants anything to do with your anger and fights. He probably sees that. And then all this insane love will be for nothing.”

“You know nothing about Zayn or our love,” Liam growled. “But now you’ll know pain.”

 

“Be careful Liam. This recent incident was just an example of how easily I can get to Zayn and push your buttons. Think of it as a message. You want to keep this up, then you’ll soon see that I won’t back down either. I can get to Zayn and do whatever I want, whenever I want. And you’ll be completely helpless like you were these past two days.” Max’s grin was so wide and ugly that Liam punched him. Hard enough that his face whipped to the other side. In the thick of his anger, Liam grabbed Max’s throat and closed his hands around it. All he heard was Max threatening to hurt Zayn more and he lost his sense.

 

“Liam! Stop! You have to stop now!” Tom yelled and tugged him back. “Zayn needs you! And if you end up in jail for killing this sociopath then Zayn will definitely be alone!”

 

Liam heard Tom’s words and let go of Max. The bloodied man coughed and took deep breaths as he rolled to the side. Liam got up from the ground and kicked Max. He wanted to break his head open.

 

“If I ever see you or your brother even a mile near Zayn or myself, I’ll kill you. And just know, you’ve bought yourself a long life of hell Max. You went too far this time. Too fucking far. And I’m far from done with you,” Liam spat angrily. Then he turned and walked out the door.

 

Max’s entire staff had probably witnessed what had happened because they stared at him in shock. Liam ignored everyone and charged back towards the elevators. He needed to get back to Zayn now. He needed to hold him and apologize and promise him that he would do everything in his power to keep him safe from now on. Because Max was done for. The others joined him in the elevator, Niall and Tom looking at him with concern and a lingering anger at Max, Harry trying hard to control his tears of anger.

 

“He got away with this,” Niall said. “Gordon sent me a message saying that Max and Jason both have alibis that check out. They were in Atlantic City checking on their hotel. They have witnesses.”

 

“Zayn said he doesn’t want to get the police involved. But the police did get involved and it didn’t help because Max and Jason got away with this. And Zayn said he was taken and brought back without being harmed,” Harry said with a shaky sigh.  

 

“They did it. And they’re going to pay,” Liam declared. “But for now, I need to go see Zayn and make sure he’s okay. Take him home.”

 

“Liam… Tricia sent me a message that Zayn asked to be taken home… to Brooklyn,” Harry informed him, uncomfortable and pained. “He- they already left the hospital. He wanted to be away from it all for a while…”

 

Liam felt a stab in his gut and remembered Max’s ugly taunts from earlier. It could be true that Zayn just wanted to be surrounded by the familiarity of his family and home after going through what he did, but what haunted Liam’s thoughts was how Zayn had pulled away from him earlier. Seemed distant and cold. And that maybe he was truly angry and upset at what he had been pulled into, when he didn’t deserve any of this. He needed to see Zayn. He needed to see him and wrap him into the confines of his heart and never let the shadow of harm fall over him again, let alone the actual thing.

 

“I need to see him.” Liam closed his eyes and rubbed his head. The shattering of his heart made his entire body rattle and made him feel like he would go deaf from the sound. A cloud of anguish rained over his head. It soaked his skin with the realization that things had gone so wrong, so quickly, and all he needed more than anything was to hold Zayn and find reassurance that things would be okay. For Zayn and himself. Because it felt like he was crumbling.

 

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usually i say i hope you enjoyed the chapter but that would have been difficult given the circumstances.. i hope you liked it anyways?? this chapter was hard to write because I've been feeling very down myself these days and writing sad stuff was not good for this current state of mind .. but i do enjoy writing angst and i am looking forward to continue writing whats to come and those of you who also enjoy it i hope you're excited (is that the right word for this situation?) and those who hate angst im realllyyyyyy sorry and i hope you dont hate me but this fic is 100000000% a happy ending. As always I appreciate all your comments and messages so so SO much they make me smile when im feeling sad and they motivate me to continue writing. like im already at 840 kudos when i still remember hitting my first 50 and being blown away. i never thought id cross 500 and now im close to 900. wow. i think i may do a special drabble as a thank you when i reach 900 and i may do the thing i did before where i listed a couple scenarios for drabbles on tumblr and u guys choose one you like (like when i did liams pov of meeting zayn). but i think ill do that :) THANK YOU I LOVE YOU GUYS SOOOOO MUCH!!! <333 I hope you have a good day/night even after reading this chap lol :))
> 
> p.s. i know a lot of people may feel certain choices should not have been made in the chapter or fic but just remember this is fictional not reality, it's heightened reality, its fanfiction and this is how i planned it. :)) 
> 
> p.p.s. if anyone was wondering, in the piano flashback zayn is singing 'a thousand years' by christina perri


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :) I'm awfully sorry for the long wait but I've been crazed. So much going on like my new job which has me exhausted 24/7 but FINALLY I finished this and I'm so glad :) Thank you so much for being patient with me, I really really appreciate it. And I appreciate the constant love and support. You guys are wonderful, more than wonderful <3 Now I hope you enjoy the chapter :)
> 
> **Warning: Not sure if this is a real warning but to be careful, the chapter is quite angsty and if you get anxious easily from heavy angst, read cautiously.

 

 

The morning was a dull, grey and chilly affair. Liam felt it mirrored in his body. Actually, he felt like a storm was awakening in his body. It stirred in the depths of his soul and rocked through his body, making him cold and uneasy. With heavy steps and deep-set guilt, he rang the doorbell of the Malik family’s house and waited. He rubbed a hand down his face, feeling exhausted, but wanting to see Zayn more than anything. The door opened and Liam looked up to see Tricia standing on the other side. She looked weary but when she saw Liam, she smiled tentatively.

 

“Hi, honey. Come in.” She pulled the door open and let Liam walk through. “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you we were leaving the hospital. Zayn insisted he wanted to come here, and right away too.”

 

“I understand Tricia. No worries. Where is he?” Liam asked with a glance around the living room.

 

“He’s in his room. He just wanted to shower and rest,” Tricia replied.

 

“Tricia… I…” Liam sighed and took her hands into his own. He squeezed them tightly and gave her a sincerely apologetic look. “I am so God damn sorry. This is all my fault-“

 

“Liam,” Tricia interrupted him. She touched his face gently and gave him a small smile. “It’s not your fault. The fact that someone wants to hurt you through Zayn is not your fault. That person is sick and twisted. I know that you love Zayn so much. I can see it in your eyes. I know that you would do anything for him and would never let him get hurt. Sometimes bad things happen to good people to test them. I thank God from the bottom of my heart that my baby is okay. But I also worry about you and how badly this person wants to hurt you. Please take care of yourself as well, okay? It makes me so happy to know that Zayn has someone who cares so immensely for him but take care of yourself as well. And please, _please_ keep Zayn safe too. Don’t let anything happen again.”

 

“Never again,” Liam said firmly. “And you should know that I would do anything for Zayn. He’s my everything and I could give my life for him.”

“Zayn is lucky to have you,” Tricia said. “It gives me comfort knowing that he has you.”

 

“I’m lucky to have him,” Liam corrected, then he sighed. “I think I’ll go see him. Although I don’t know how he feels right now. He might blame me for everything and I know it’s true.”

 

“He wouldn’t. Zayn loves you so much. He knows it isn’t your fault,” Tricia assured.

 

Liam just nodded, unable to say anything, and he turned towards the stairs to go up to Zayn’s room. He climbed the stairs and stopped outside the room that he knew was Zayn’s, and lifted his hand to knock.

 

_“And this is my room.” Zayn walked into the room in front of Liam and turned around with a shy smile. Liam grinned at him and did a quick scan of the room. It was small but had a profound presence of Zayn. There was a single bed against one wall, a bed-side table, a desk covered completely in books and papers and a chest of drawers with more books on top. The covers were a dark green and the walls white. The walls were covered in artwork made by Zayn, some posters of Game of Thrones and Marvel and photos of his family and Harry. Liam noticed a few photos of himself and Zayn and realized the boy must have put them up recently as he had just told his family about their relationship. Liam closed the door behind himself and grabbed Zayn’s hand to tug him closer. Zayn looked at him with wide eyes and glanced nervously towards the closed door._

_“Li, my family,” Zayn stammered. His cheeks were pink but his eyes sparkled and he bit his lip. Liam smirked and pinned Zayn to the closed door before sweeping in to capture his lips._

_“They won’t know,” Liam murmured between kisses._

_“They will,” Zayn gasped as Liam sucked on his neck. “T-they could come upstairs…”_

_“Mhm.” Liam gripped Zayn’s hips and pulled his lower half forward to grind against him. “You worry too much sweetheart.”_

_“Someone has to,” Zayn whispered and wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck._

_“Well, that’s why I love you,” Liam said and left a trail of kisses along the side of Zayn’s face._

_“Liar. That’s not a reason to love me. That’s a reason to find me weird or silly,” Zayn said with a small laugh and a hint of nervousness._

_“It’s not silly or weird. It’s the opposite. And it just makes me love you more my little worrier.” Liam hugged Zayn and pressed a soft kiss to his lips._

_“And do you like my room?” Zayn asked._

_“I love it,” Liam smiled and kissed his nose affectionately._

_“Okay, good…because…” Zayn took Liam’s hand and tugged him towards the bed. When Liam raised an eyebrow with a smile, Zayn blinked nervously and flashed him a tentative smile._

_“Ever since meeting you, I’ve dreamt about you every night in this room. In this bed.” Zayn smoothed his hand along his comforter as he stared down at it._

_“Baby…” Liam sat down in front of Zayn and lifted his face. “Are you trying to tell me that you have dirty dreams about me in this bed?”_

_“Stop,” Zayn mumbled although he smiled and blushed harder._

_“Maybe gotten turned on in this bed?” Liam grinned and pulled Zayn forward into his lap. Zayn smiled and tucked his face into Liam’s neck. “Gotten off?”_

_“Shhh!” Zayn covered his mouth and giggled nervously. “My family might hear.”_

_“Well then you should be quiet,” Liam whispered and pressed Zayn back against the pillows. He kissed him quickly as Zayn gasped in surprise but gripped Liam’s shoulders._

_“I love you,” Zayn giggled between the kisses and Liam smiled._

_“Love you too angel.”_

Liam sighed and knocked on the door to Zayn’s room with a heavy feeling in his heart. The past few days had been so exhausting, but he just wanted to hold Zayn in his arms and kiss him till their lips were numb. Apologize and make sure Zayn was okay. Hold him tightly and never let go. Pull him into his heart and show him how much he loved him.

 

“Come in,” Zayn was calling from the other end.

 

Liam pushed open the door and saw Zayn’s back first which was to the door. He was wearing just a towel around his waist and his hair was dripping wet. He stood stone still as he stared out his window. Liam felt every bone in his body ache. Zayn didn’t deserve any of this. He deserved to only ever smile and laugh and never come within a mile of sadness. Liam’s ears craved to hear Zayn’s soft laughter. And see his sparkling eyes full of happiness.

 

“Angel…” Liam whispered. Liam noticed every muscle in Zayn’s back stiffen. His hands twitched and he looked like he was about to turn around, but he continued to stay frozen in his spot.

 

“God, Zayn…” Liam shut the door behind himself and moved forward in two strides to wrap his arms around Zayn from behind. “My love, I’m so, so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am that this happened to you. And because of me.” Liam kissed all over Zayn’s shoulders and head and then buried his face into Zayn’s damp hair. He inhaled the smell of Zayn’s pomegranate shampoo, felt his warm body between his arms, felt his thudding heart against his hand and he squeezed the boy tighter. Zayn was safe. He was home. There was a lot to apologize for but Liam knew that as long as he had Zayn, things would get better. He would do anything.

 

Zayn leaned back for a second before he stiffened again and slowly pulled out of Liam’s arms. Liam’s heart shattered as he watched Zayn move out of his arms and towards the window.

 

“Y-you… why aren’t you at work?” Zayn asked.

 

“Why would I be at work?” Liam asked confusedly. “I needed to be with you. You just- you just got back. I’ve been going insane these past 35 hours. I thought of every possible horrible thing. And I wanted to rip apart this city to find you. When I heard that you hadn’t come home, I thought I might have died that very second. Just the idea of something happening to you was so painful and now something has and I’m breaking inside. Because it’s my fault. I couldn’t protect you… I couldn’t stop the dark influences in my life from harming you. And I hate myself for it. But I’m so fucking sorry baby. And I love you so much,” Liam pleaded apologetically.

 

Zayn still stood with his back to him and Liam saw him shiver. But he remained silent. Liam felt the gaping hole in his chest deepen and he held himself back from taking Zayn into his arms. Liam picked up a hoodie from the bed and realized it was his own. Zayn had a habit of taking so many of Liam’s clothes, especially the hoodies, that he started running out of them which was surprising given how massive his clothing collection was. But he knew his clothes and his scent comforted Zayn which was something the boy was too embarrassed to admit. But it made Liam’s heart warm. He took the hoodie and draped it around Zayn’s shoulders to warm him up.

 

“You should rest sweetheart,” Liam murmured. “Are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine,” Zayn mumbled. He turned around and went over to his closet to pull out a pair of sweats. He pulled them on under his towel and dropped the item before zipping the hoodie closed. Liam watched Zayn as he avoided his gaze and sat down on his bed.

 

“You should go to work. I’m just going to sleep,” Zayn said in a small voice.

 

“I’m not going to work Zayn. I’m not leaving you like this.” Liam knelt in front of him and took his hands. Zayn was staring down at his lap and blinking rapidly. Liam cupped his face gently and tilted Zayn’s face up to lock eyes. The boy’s eyes were red like he had spent many hours crying and he looked at Liam tiredly. Liam wanted to go back to Max’s office and rip him limb from limb. Zayn was hurting so much. He was hurting so much, that he had become cold and closed off which was the complete opposite of him.

 

“What happened?” Liam asked.

 

“Nothing. I… I was taken from outside the dorm to this cabin… Jason was there… nothing happened. They kept me there and just brought me back. I guess it was just a scare tactic to mess with you,” Zayn mumbled.

 

“I don’t believe that nothing happened. Your behaviour is worrying me, Zayn. Please talk to me,” Liam begged.

 

“I don’t want to talk right now. I want to sleep.” Zayn pulled his hands away and turned to lay down.

 

“Zayn.” Liam gently grabbed his elbow to stop him. “I don’t want to overwhelm you in any way but we can’t do this. We can’t keep hurting and not talk about anything. I know that you probably blame me as well even if you don’t say anything. And I’ll never forgive myself, but I also won’t stop loving you. Or wanting you. And I will never let Max or anyone touch you again. I swear.”

 

“That didn’t stop him before either,” Zayn said in a neutral voice. Liam felt the words like a stab in his chest and he closed his eyes tightly.

“Baby…” Liam began.

 

“You should go to work Liam. Please. And my younger sisters don’t know about anything because my parents didn’t want to worry them. And I agree. So maybe you shouldn’t be here because they’ll return from school soon. I’m going to stay here a day or two and I’ll just tell them I’m sick,” Zayn said and then turned away in his bed to face the wall.

 

Liam stared at him silently for a few seconds, hurt creeping through his body. “I’ll go. But I’ll be back tonight. I know you’re hurting Zayn, as much as you try to hide it. I could beg you not to but I know you carry the burden of the world on your shoulders because you don’t want to worry people who love you. But we want to be here for you. I want to be here for you my love. I love you so fucking much and seeing you like this hurts me. But I’m not going to give up if that’s what you’re aiming for. I promise you that.”

 

Liam noticed Zayn’s body tremble slightly, but the boy stayed silent once again and didn’t budge from his staring contest with the wall. Liam ducked his head, defeated, and sighed. “I’ll be back later tonight.” Liam stood up and was about to turn towards the door to leave, when something in his heart tugged, making him turn back to the bed. He leaned down over Zayn’s body and pressed his lips to his forehead. Zayn inhaled sharply, his eyes still closed, and his chin trembled. Liam kept his lips pressed to Zayn’s forehead and ran a hand through his damp hair.

 

“I love you,” Liam whispered. “We’re going to get through this.”

 

The pain of Zayn still not meeting his eyes felt numb at this point. Liam ignored the burning in his body and decided to let Zayn have the space he clearly wanted. The pain from this decision was exuberant, but he would do anything for Zayn. Even if he had to stab himself in the heart by distancing himself from Zayn right now. With unmeasurable strength, Liam walked out Zayn’s bedroom door and back downstairs. He said a fleeting goodbye to Tricia, informing her that he’d be back later that night, and left. Liam walked over to his car and got into the driver’s seat. He stared straight ahead. Absently watching a mother push her baby in a stroller down the sidewalk. Sudden anger and frustration took over his emotions and he smacked his hand on the steering wheel, the horn ringing through the neighbourhood. The woman passing by gave him a strange look and Liam took a deep breath to calm himself. He needed to fix things. He desperately wanted things to go back before this mess started. He wanted to kill Max. He wanted to take away the pain that was crushing Zayn. But he felt so helpless.

 

 

**

 

**‘I hope you haven’t forgotten what we discussed because your boyfriend crossed another limit today. But I’ll let this one go as long as you do as you promised.’**

Zayn pushed his phone off his bed and closed his eyes. He continued humming and held the sleeve of Liam’s hoodie up to his nose to inhale his scent from it. There were three steps to control an oncoming panic attack. Identify the trigger, pull away from the source causing it, and go to safe space. Safe space. Liam.

“Bhaiya?”

 

Zayn looked up and saw Safaa’s head peering in through his door warily. She looked at him with concern covering her innocent face and Zayn felt pained. “Yeah buttercup?”

“Mama says dinner is ready. We have lasagna.” She smiled at him and hovered in the doorway.

 

“I’m not hungry Safoo. Tell Mama you guys can have dinner without me,” Zayn replied softly.

 

“Please Bhaiya? I- I miss you and you look sad and I just want you to eat with me and maybe watch a movie with me. And- and… Liam is here too,” Safaa said hopefully.

 

“Liam is here?” Zayn started to panic. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t continue to act cold and distant when all he wanted to do was bury himself in Liam’s arms and cry until his eyes were dry and his heart felt lighter.

 

“Yeah! I think he really misses you,” Safaa said with a smile. “And he brought macarons! So please, please, pretty please come down.”

“I’ll be there in a second,” Zayn sighed.

 

“You better!” Safaa yelled, then ran back downstairs.

 

Zayn got up from the bed and rubbed his eyes. They felt like sand had been poured into them, dry from crying so much. His body ached from the constant panic attacks and his head felt fuzzy. He took a deep breath and dragged a hand down his face. He could do this. He needed to do this. He had to continue and not let any cracks show in his act or everything would collapse. Liam could get hurt and Zayn would never in his life let that happen.

 

He walked downstairs slowly and was on his way into the kitchen, when he heard low murmurs in the living room. Zayn paused just outside the entrance as Liam and his dad’s voices poured out.

 

“… and I apologize for how harsh I was. Zayn is our whole world. All of our kids are. And I’m very protective of my family. That moment when you called me and told me Zayn was missing I thought my world had shattered. That is the worst thing a parent can hear. If anything had happened to Zayn… but what I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry I blamed you and got angry. This is definitely not your fault. That man sounds like a sociopath and I know you’re blaming yourself but it isn’t right.” Yaser’s tone was firm but kind and Zayn felt his heart swell at Yaser being so understanding towards Liam. Zayn hated himself for having to pretend like he was angry with Liam and let him believe that Zayn blamed him. When all he wanted to do was reassure Liam that he did not blame him. And he loved him. He loved him so much that he was about to sacrifice everything.

 

“Thank you Yaser. I appreciate that. But I look at Zayn and only see blame in his eyes. And it’s breaking my heart.” Liam sighed.

 

“Zayn doesn’t blame you. Trust me. He’s such a selfless boy who loves more than his body and heart can bear. And he loves you so much. I know he’s probably hurt and scared right now, but he doesn’t blame you,” Yaser replied.

 

“I hope so,” Liam said.

 

“What are you doing out here?” Zayn turned around and saw Doniya standing there with a curious expression on her face. She had been here for a few hours and spent the first hour crying, asking Zayn if he was okay. But after he reassured her like the rest of his family that he was fine and nothing had happened, she had relaxed.

 

“I- I was just…” Zayn stammered.

 

“Liam brought a surprise for you,” Doniya said with a smile. “Come on.”

 

She took his hand and pulled him into the room. Zayn wanted to protest because he knew if he saw Liam, his resolve would weaken and he’d melt into his arms. Zayn’s heart raced as he walked in. Liam was sitting on the sofa beside Yaser, looking exhausted. Zayn’s heart fell into his stomach. Liam looked handsome as always, painfully so, but he looked upset and exhausted. It was wrong. Liam should only ever be smiling that wide teasing grin of his and laughing his infectious, wonderful laugh. Then, to his surprise, Zayn saw Ray curled up in Liam’s lap.

 

“Bubs!” Zayn exclaimed happily. Liam looked up in surprise and smiled at him. Zayn’s heart cracked, he loved him so much. Zayn forgot everything for a moment and fell onto the sofa beside Liam to pick up Ray and kiss his head. “I’ve missed you.”

 

“We missed you too,” Liam murmured. Zayn gave him a tentative smile and when Liam leaned forward to kiss his forehead, Zayn closed his eyes and leaned into it.

 

“Dinner is on the table. You should come eat,” Yaser said with a knowing smile and left the room, Doniya leaving with him.

 

“Baby.” Liam wrapped an arm around Zayn’s waist and tugged him closer to kiss him all over his head. “Are you feeling better?”

 

Zayn just shrugged and stared down at Ray who was rolling in his lap and tugging on his finger. Liam gazed at him with a sense of loss and longing in his eyes. Zayn felt it boring into the side of his head. “Thanks for bringing Ray here,” Zayn mumbled.

 

“Of course, my love. I knew you’d feel better with him around. I’ll have to take him back tomorrow because Safaa is allergic-“

 

“Tomorrow?” Zayn asked. “Aren’t you leaving after dinner?” Confusion and hurt flashed in Liam’s eyes and Zayn wanted to jump out a window. He had never hated himself more.

 

“Uh- I asked your parents if it was okay and I thought I’d stay here. I’ve just been so worried about you and I really need to be around you and make sure you’re okay. I don’t want to overwhelm you though.” Liam sighed and moved a little away from Zayn.

 

“I- it’s fine I guess,” Zayn said in a small voice, hot tears pricking his eyes.

 

“You won’t even look at me,” Liam said in a low voice. “And that’s what hurts the most. Because I know you probably do blame me.”

 

Zayn curled his hand into a tight fist, knowing that it was shaking uncontrollably. He didn’t lift his eyes from Ray. When he felt his hand being lifted and a light kiss being pressed to his knuckles, he almost whimpered out a cry.

 

“I love you so fucking much angel. And I will fix this. I’ll win back your trust,” Liam whispered. “You’re literally my entire world and I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Liam pecked his cheek, right on the corner of his mouth and squeezed his hand tightly. Then in complete silence, he left the room.

 

“Ya Allah kill me this very second. I can’t do this. I can’t,” Zayn cried into quietly into his hand. “I’d rather die than break Liam’s heart any further. I’d rather die than sacrifice my love and the man who is my entire world.” When his dry eyes wouldn’t shed any more tears, Zayn got up and joined his family in the dining room. Making sure he was sitting far away from Liam. And dodging every look the man sent him.

 

 

**

 

 

“The couch is comfortable too but if you want to be up here, I can lay out bedding on the floor. Although it won’t be as comfortable and I would feel bad.”

Zayn walked cautiously into his bedroom and saw Tricia and Waliyha laying down bedding on the floor as Liam placed Ray into his carrier.

 

“It’s fine Tricia don’t worry. I’m okay with sleeping on the floor on here,” Liam said.

 

“I love how you’re aware of the fact that Zayn practically lives at Liam’s place and you know they’re not sleeping in different beds there, but here you insist they sleep apart,” Waliyha snorted.

 

“It’s called decent manners Wali.” Tricia gave her stern glare. Waliyha grinned but stopped talking after that and Liam gave her a small wink.

 

Zayn moved past everyone cramped in his tiny bedroom and went to retrieve his medication from his bedside table. He brushed past Liam in the process and the man squeezed his hand lightly. Zayn ached to collapse against him and sleep in his arms. Let the colossal weight lift off his shoulders.  But he couldn’t. And he’d have to bear the pain of Liam being so close to him but with the new icy wall between them. That he himself had erected.

 

“All set. Get some rest. You guys have had a long couple of days,” Tricia said.

 

“Thanks Tricia. Thanks Wali,” Liam said.

 

“Good night jaan,” Tricia murmured and came up to kiss Zayn’s cheek. “Sleep well and come get me if you need anything.”

 

“Thanks, Maa,” Zayn whispered.

 

“Night loser. And good night Liam,” Waliyha smacked Zayn’s arm lightly but gave Liam a wide grin.

 

 When they were gone, it was utterly silent again. Zayn fiddled nervously with the cap of his orange prescription bottle. He had already swallowed his anxiety medication and couldn’t think of another excuse to keep his back towards Liam. Maybe he could walk backwards, turn the light off, and fall into bed without having to talk to him. Zayn turned around to do that and gasped. Liam was right behind him, their faces a centimetre apart, their bodies sharing heat. Zayn breathed shakily and before he could say anything, Liam wrapped one arm around his waist, cupped his face gently with the other hand and kissed him. Zayn made a soft sound, forgetting where he was or what he was supposed to be doing.

 

The bottle of pills fell from his hand onto the ground and he hooked his arms around Liam’s neck. His body naturally curved up towards Liam and he stood up on his tip toes to match height with the man and kiss him back fervently. He was weak. His resolve was weak. His heart was weak. He was so irrevocably in love with Liam that he could forget the pact that he had made and give in to his instincts. He just wanted him so much all the time, that this distance made him ache.

 

“Angel,” Liam whispered and pressed an endless amount of kisses over Zayn’s desperate lips and across his face.  Zayn sighed and closed his eyes as Liam continued to peck him across his face and hairline. Zayn continued to cling to Liam’s shirt and drank in the moment he was allowing himself. He inhaled Liam’s scent and felt his lips press kisses along his forehead. Never in his life had he thought he would be given all his dreams on a silver platter, more love than he could have imagined, a passion more intense than he could have thought of, and had it all be taken away. He suddenly felt sick as those thoughts came to mind. It made him pull away from Liam.

 

“Zayn-” Liam began in confusion.

 

“I-I j-just want to sleep,” Zayn stuttered in frustration.

 

“Okay. Yeah. You should sleep. You’ve had the longest two days and I can’t even imagine what you went through.” Liam let him go with one last kiss to his cheek. Zayn moved towards his bed with his head lowered and slipped under the covers. He stared at the photos covering his wall and zeroed in on a picture of him and Liam from when they had been at a barbecue party at Liam’s parents place in August. Zayn was sprawled across Liam’s lap like he owned it and sipped on a Slurpee while grinning mischievously at the camera, which Niall was behind. Liam was smirking at him in the picture and Zayn distinctly remembered that Liam had called him ‘sass queen’ during that moment. All because Zayn had been pouting all afternoon after some girl had been flirting with Liam and Zayn had turned territorial, but in Liam’s opinion ‘the cute way.’

 

Zayn smiled at the picture and tried to wish himself back there. But like the dilemma in his heart, the room darkened as Liam turned the light off. Zayn tucked the comforter up to his face and tried to muffle his tears, something he was an expert at now.

 

“Good night my love,” Liam said softly. Zayn heard some rustling which meant Liam was getting into his make-shift bed.

 

Zayn bit his tongue and didn’t respond. The silence hanging in the room was painful, but Zayn didn’t dare move an inch so that Liam could think he was asleep. It probably took an hour but when Zayn slowly turned around and peeked over the bed, he saw that Liam was asleep. He had taken his shirt off, never being able to sleep in one, and he slept on his stomach. His face turned towards Zayn’s side. Tears stung his vision again and Zayn reached down tentatively to hold Liam’s hand.

 

“Jaan…” Zayn whispered. “My heart is in pieces right now.”

 

Zayn wiped his tears and slowly slid down from his bed to lay down beside Liam on the ground. He kept his distance and just held onto Liam’s hand, trying to see if he’d wake up. When he didn’t, Zayn slid forward and got under the sheet. Liam must have been insanely exhausted because he didn’t wake up. Zayn buried his face into Liam’s chest and kissed him right over his heart.

 

“Please let these past few days be a nightmare. I can’t leave you. I can’t leave you without thinking of not existing anymore. But he’ll hurt you. He’ll hurt you and your life and safety matter more to me than my own happiness or life. But why me? Why us? We were supposed to have an entire life together. Not this heartache.” Zayn wiped his wet cheeks and trembled as Liam’s arm unconsciously came up in his sleep to hug Zayn to his body. Something he did all the time when they slept together.

 

“I love you so much,” Zayn whispered. He revelled in the cocoon of Liam’s arms and felt calmer than he had felt the entire day. This was his fix. His remedy. “The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you. And now I have to for your own safety. And all I ask, meri jaan, is that you don’t hate me when this is over. Because I couldn’t bear that.”

 

Zayn knew he couldn’t fall asleep in Liam’s arms because if the man woke up, he’d think Zayn was back to before. And this act he had to construct would crumble. His heart wrenched at the thought but it was what he had to do. He stayed for a few minutes longer and memorized the feeling of Liam’s strong arms around him, his scent and his warm body. Zayn pressed a kiss over Liam’s heart and then slipped back into his own bed. He looked down at Liam’s sleeping form, his arm outstretched where he had been holding Zayn. Zayn reached his hand down, unable to part completely, and held on to Liam’s hand tightly.

 

“I love you. I love you forever and always.”

 

 

**

 

 

There was a stiff feeling in his back as Liam woke up. He turned over slowly and blinked his eyes open blearily. In the early morning light, the sight in front of him was even more beautiful and it tugged at his heart. Zayn was sleeping with his face turned towards Liam on the floor. He was on his stomach, his face pressed into the bed. His hair falling over his eyes and his eyelashes fluttering over his cheekbones. His hand hung loosely down towards the ground. Liam picked Zayn’s hand up gently and pressed his lips to his wrist right below the Cartier bracelet. He didn’t want to wake Zayn since he had been through a tough couple of days and he looked so peaceful. Liam had a strange feeling like maybe he had dreamt Zayn sleeping with him last night, but the boy was in his own bed right now so it must have been just a dream. Liam got up and used the bathroom, then went downstairs. He walked into the kitchen to see that Waliyha and Safaa were having breakfast and Tricia was putting things into lunch bags.

 

“Good morning,” Liam said as he walked in.

 

“Liam!” Safaa exclaimed and jumped out of her chair to get to him. She tripped in the process and Liam quickly caught her before she face-planted.

 

“You’re just like Zayn. Tripping over air,” Liam said with a laugh as he sat onto a chair with Safaa in his lap.

 

“They both inherited from the recessive gene pool,” Waliyha quipped.

 

“What’s that?” Safaa asked with a frown.

 

“It means you’re a dumbass,” Waliyha said.

 

“Wali, quit it,” Tricia warned. “Liam, would you like coffee or breakfast?”

 

“Just coffee is okay, thanks. I have to get going actually. I have a meeting today and I need to go by my place to shower and change,” Liam answered.

 

“You’re leaving? Can’t you stay?” Safaa asked sadly.

 

“Sorry cutie. I have work. I’ll be back later tonight though. But hey, how about I drop you off at your school?” Liam replied.

 

“Yeah!” Safaa shouted enthusiastically.

 

“You don’t have to do that Liam. I can drop them off. I took a day off from work to be with Zayn anyways,” Tricia said.

 

“It’s no big deal Tricia. It’ll save you a trip. I can drop both the girls off on my way back in to the city,” Liam told her.

 

“Well if you insist. Thank you,” Tricia said with an appreciative smile.

 

“No problem. Ready to go guys?” Liam asked after taking a few sips of his coffee.

 

“Ready!” Safaa said and ran to grab her lunch from Tricia. Waliyha left to grab her bag.

 

“Can you let Zayn know I’ll be back in the evening?” Liam asked Tricia.

 

“Sure,” she answered with a soft smile. Liam nodded his head in thanks and turned to leave as Safaa called out for him front the front doorway.

 

 

**

 

 

Zayn walked into the living room to see his mom sat there, with her glasses perched on her nose, writing down in a notebook.

 

“You didn’t go to work again, Maa?” Zayn asked as he sat down beside her.

 

“No pumpkin. I had to be with you,” Tricia said and leaned over to kiss his forehead.

 

“You don’t have to sacrifice work to be with me. The kids probably miss you,” Zayn said.

 

“Well _my_ kid needs me more right now,” Tricia replied and put her work away. “How are you feeling this morning? Do you want some breakfast?”

 

Zayn shook his head and looked around the living room carefully, wondering the same thing he had been wondering when he had woken up to see the makeshift bed empty. “Where um… where is Liam?”

 

“He left this morning to go to work and took the girls to school on the way. He said he’d be back in the evening,” Tricia informed him.

 

“W-why?” Zayn asked quickly.

 

“What do you mean? Don’t you want to see him?” Tricia asked confusedly.

 

“I- I d-don’t know,” Zayn stuttered, wringing his hands in his lap.

 

“What’s going on Zaynie? Did something happen between you and Liam? You seem so distant from him,” Tricia wondered.

 

“I-it’s really nothing. I’m just stressed out from everything that happened recently. I just can’t…” Zayn trailed off and rubbed his eyes. “Did he take Ray too?”

 

“Yeah, he took him,” Tricia replied.

 

“I wanted you to know that I’ll go back to my dorm tonight. I need to get back to my classes and the girls might start suspecting something.” Zayn sighed.

 

“Jaan you should stay for a few more days. I’m really worried about you. You don’t seem so good and you shouldn’t be alone,” Tricia said gently.

 

“I won’t be alone. I’ll have Harry,” Zayn croaked.

 

“I know, but it would make me feel better if you were home. At least until you feel more stable,” Tricia said.

 

“I can’t, Maa. I have classes. Some are really early too,” Zayn said.

 

“Well… maybe you should stay with Liam for a few days then. I know you’ll be safe there and it’ll give me some peace. I’m just not okay with you being near that dorm right now. Plus, Liam takes such good care of you,” Tricia replied.

 

Zayn felt like tears were threatening to spill from his eyes again. But he quickly schooled his expression and looked away. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

 

“Thanks, jaan. It’ll give me some peace,” Tricia said and kissed his head. “Now let me make you some breakfast.”

 

 

**

 

 

Zayn sat on the front steps of his house watching the cars go by with disinterest, his thoughts elsewhere. His thoughts were immersed in the precarious situation he was in. He still hadn’t figured out what to do or when to do it. His heart was still continuously screaming at him, begging him not to do what he knew he had to. He had turned his phone off completely so he had no idea if Max had sent him any further messages since yesterday but he didn’t care.

 

“Zayn.”

 

Zayn turned around and saw his dad walking out with two mugs in his hand. “Chai?” Yaser offered.

 

“Thanks Baba,” Zayn replied and took the mug. Yaser kissed his head as he sat down beside him with his own mug.

 

“Are you okay, beta? Like really okay?” Yaser questioned.

 

“I can’t really answer that question right now. Seeing as I don’t know myself,” Zayn murmured.

 

Yaser looked at him with concern deeply embedded in his face. He reached a hand out and pushed Zayn’s fringe off his forehead and smiled gently. “I can’t even imagine what you must be feeling with everything you’ve been through. But don’t shut us out. Don’t shut Liam out either. Keeping your feelings in will only make things worse. I’m so incredibly thankful that you’re okay and that nothing happened, but beta to move past all this you need to talk about it and let us know how you’re doing. And let Liam know that you don’t blame him. He’s feeling so guilty and angry with himself right now and I know you don’t blame him. You’re just distancing yourself to prevent anyone else from getting hurt. You’ve always been like this. But it’s not healthy. And you know yourself that talking to Liam will help the both of you,” Yaser explained gently.

 

“I don’t know Baba. I don’t know how to come back from all this,” Zayn said. This lie he had started to weave needed to make sense in front of his family too. Otherwise he’d sell himself out quickly and he wouldn’t be able to keep Liam safe. But the truth was, that he didn’t know how to come back from what he was about to do. It would be irreparable.

 

Zayn heard a beeping sound and looked up to see Liam climbing out of his car, that he had parked in front of the house. He was dressed in grey slacks and a white button down, sleeves rolled up, tie loose around his neck. He was rubbing his beard tiredly as he shut his door and started up the walkway. When he saw Zayn, he smiled and Zayn felt his insides flutter. It hurt to see Liam’s handsome face covered in signs of stress.

 

“I’ll see you inside,” Yaser said and got up to go in. He nodded at Liam with a smile, who nodded back and came to a stop in front of Zayn.

 

“Hi baby,” Liam said and touched Zayn’s face tenderly. “How are you?” He pushed his fingers through Zayn’s thick fringe, who had to stop himself from leaning into the touch.

 

Zayn quickly looked down as his heartbeat got faster. “Fine.” His answer was short and he stood up and moved two steps back from Liam.

 

Liam’s face went through a series of emotions. From confusion to hurt to defeat. He sighed and rubbed his face. “Jesus. Zayn… Please, _please_ for the love of God don’t shut me out. Tell me what’s going on with you. If you’re angry with me, if you blame me, or if you’re just closing up because you don’t want to worry me, just talk to me. Please. I’m going insane seeing you act so distant. I love you so fucking much and I’m breaking inside right now.” Liam’s eyes were begging Zayn to open up and talk to him.

 

“I have to get inside,” Zayn replied quickly. As he turned around to leave Liam grabbed his arm.

 

“Zayn-“

 

Zayn wrenched his arm away and looked at Liam with a panicked expression. Liam quickly realized his error and pulled away. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I’m going to be sorry for the rest of my days. But this isn’t us Zayn. We can make it through anything. Our love isn’t going to crumble because of some dickhead. It’s stronger than that and worth more than that. I know that and I know you know that too. I’ll give you some space if you need it but we both know forever isn’t just a word for us. And I’m not giving up.”

 

Liam turned to walk inside and Zayn closed his eyes. He knew he was about to turn around and beg Liam to come back and pull him into his arms to kiss the pain away. So he let some bitter words ring off his tongue that he knew would deter Liam.

 

“Then how come you weren’t there to save me?”

 

Liam paused with a hand on the doorknob and turned around to look at Zayn with a hurt expression. “Zayn-”

 

“Words are just words. Even forever,” Zayn said in a deadpan voice. Liam’s eyes showed the explicit pain he felt at those words and he stared at Zayn for a few seconds.

 

“Angel…” Liam whispered.

 

“Excuse me.” Zayn moved past Liam to go back inside, refusing to look the man in the eyes. He was breaking the heart of the one person who he loved more than anyone in this world. And he felt like he was dying inside.

 

Zayn walked straight into the kitchen where Tricia was cleaning up after the dinner they had just had. Zayn busied himself with washing his mug and was unaware of Liam coming in after him.

 

“Hi, Liam,” Tricia said warmly. “We already had dinner but I can warm something up for you.”

 

“That’s okay. I just came in to say goodbye. I’m going home.” Liam’s tone was strange and Zayn closed his eyes tightly.

 

“But you just got here,” Tricia said worriedly. “You must be exhausted after work, at least have some food.”

 

“It’s fine Tricia. I’m not that hungry. I’ll see you soon,” Liam replied. Zayn scrubbed harshly at the mug, not caring about the hot water that was turning his hand red.

 

“Of course. Zayn, were you not planning on going with Liam?” Tricia asked.

 

Zayn felt panic grip his heart because he had forgotten. He needed to get back because he was missing his classes and he didn’t want to stay here and worry his family. But his parents didn’t want him back at his dorm after what had happened. They said he should stay with Liam but that wasn’t possible right now. Not only because of what he needed to do, but also after how cold he had behaved with Liam just now. Zayn wanted to scream.

 

“Zayn?” Tricia asked again.

 

“I umm…. I don’t know…” Zayn mumbled.

 

“Jaan… it’s here or with Liam. Not your dorm. Please. For my sake at least because I won’t be able to sleep at night if you go back there right now,” Tricia begged.

 

“Fine.” Zayn turned around. “C-can I stay with you?” Zayn asked Liam, his hands shaking.

 

Liam was looking at him carefully and he nodded. “You know you can.”

 

“Thank you,” Zayn murmured. “I’ll go get my things.”

 

 

**

 

Liam walked through his front door and held it open as Zayn walked in after him. He shut the door and locked it as Zayn quietly walked through the foyer with his bag in hand. Liam looked after him in frustration, not knowing what was going on or what he had to do. The entire car ride had been so silent and awkward that Liam was ready to rip his hair out. What was wrong with Zayn? This was not him. He was not this cold and harsh person. He had come to Liam when the Jason stuff first started but now he just had a brick wall around him. Something must have happened to make him like this. Liam wondered if Zayn had been lying about nothing happening when he disappeared. What if Jason or Max had said something? Or hurt him. What if they-

 

Liam cut off his own thoughts before they got too dark. He walked through the penthouse which was dark, the lights still off. Zayn hadn’t turned any light on and was sat in the dark living room. Liam called for the lights to turn on and watched as Zayn jumped a little.

 

“Zayn, we need to talk,” Liam said with a sigh.

 

“Not right now Liam,” Zayn replied in an exhausted tone. “I have an early class and I don’t feel good.”

 

“What’s wrong?” Liam asked, feel worried. He went over to Zayn and put a hand to his forehead. Thankfully, Zayn didn’t flinch but he kept his eyes down.

 

“Nothing,” Zayn simply answered. “Just don’t feel so good. I’m tired.”

 

“Alright. You should rest for now. We can talk tomorrow,” Liam said.

 

Zayn stood up but then dawdled. He looked nervously and his bottom lip was bitten raw, which Liam knew was a major sign of him feeling anxious. “Where um…”

 

“Sweetheart, you’re being silly. Come on.” Liam didn’t know why Zayn was behaving like this, but he ignored it for now and picked up Zayn’s bag to go upstairs.

 

Zayn followed him into the bedroom where Liam set his bag down. When he turned around, he noticed that Zayn had gone to the corner of the room to pick up Ray from his cat bed. Liam had put the kitten with his bed in the bedroom before he’d gone to Brooklyn earlier tonight. He knew Ray missed Zayn and it was obvious as the kitten purred and licked Zayn’s fingers. Zayn was laughing softly as he kissed Ray’s head.

 

“Hi jaan. Have you missed me?” Zayn asked. Liam smiled as he watched Zayn laugh at Ray’s eagerness. He had missed Zayn’s smile. The boy hadn’t smiled since he’d returned and Liam had missed it achingly.

 

He gave Zayn a few minutes alone with Ray and went into the bathroom to change his clothes and wash up for bed. After he’d brushed his teeth and changed into a pair of sweats, he came back out to see Zayn curled up one side of the bed in a small ball. He had changed into pajama bottoms and a t-shirt, ready for bed, but he looked uneasy.

 

Liam looked at Zayn for a few seconds before he turned the lights off and went around to his side of the bed. He got under the covers and gently draped the comforter over Zayn’s body too. He leaned over the boy whose breathing was erratic. Liam touched his shoulder and leaned down to kiss his forehead tenderly.

 

“Good night angel,” Liam whispered. “I love you.”

 

Zayn edged away from him just a little. He was literally on the corner of the bed, his knee hanging off. Liam looked at the ocean of space between them and didn’t understand why Zayn wanted to be so far away. The bed was massive and even if he didn’t want to sleep in Liam’s arms, he didn’t have to hang off the edge. It hurt.

 

“Zayn,” Liam said softly. “Did Jason or Max say something… or do something… to make you act like this?”

 

“Wh-what do you mean?” Zayn stuttered nervously.

 

“I mean… that this isn’t you. You’re not cold and distant even when you’re hurt. Something awful must have happened for you to act like this,” Liam said.

 

“Something awful did happen. I was kidnapped. For no reason other than being your boyfriend. So yeah, something awful did happen,” Zayn replied.

 

“Zayn, please.” Liam sat up in bed with a sigh and rubbed his face “Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think I hate myself every second of every fucking day because of that very reason?”

 

“What do you want me to say?!” Zayn asked hysterically, sitting up in bed as well.

 

“I want you to talk to me! I want you to let me in! I want you to scream at me or cuss me out and tell me that you blame me or hate me! Tell me anything but at least talk to me!” Liam yelled. He saw Zayn flinch and he took a deep breath to calm himself.

 

“Baby…” Liam reached forward to take a hold of Zayn’s hand.

 

“Don’t touch me,” Zayn cried and pulled back. He had tears streaming down his face and Liam’s heart broke. This was all his fault.

 

“And if you’re wondering if Jason or Max assaulted me, then no. They didn’t. You can rest easy now,” Zayn said shakily.

 

“That is so unfair. You can’t do this,” Liam said in frustration. “You can’t think I could just rest easy because the worst didn’t happen. I can’t deal with a single scratch coming on you because I love you so fucking much and what happened to you… it’s not something I could have imagined. And yes, it’s because of me. I know that. I know you blame me. But I also know your heart. This behaviour isn’t like you. And I wish you would just talk to me so I can help you. We can work on this together.”

 

Liam was practically begging Zayn to open up his heart and the boy just looked back at him blankly with tears covering his face. “I don’t know about that,” Zayn replied.

 

Liam rubbed his temples tiredly and took a deep breath. “Maybe we should sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

 

“Yeah… I um… I’m going to go sleep in the other room,” Zayn said and slid off the bed.

 

“Zayn,” Liam exhaled.

 

“Goodnight Liam.” Zayn picked up Ray from his bed and left the room. Liam watched him leave in shock and couldn’t even find it in himself to after the boy. His world was shattering and he felt so helpless.

 

 

**

 

 

The shower water was running cold but Liam couldn’t even feel the icy pelt on his skin. He felt numb. He stood in his shower, letting the water run over his face as he thought back to last night. How Zayn had confirmed everything Liam had been fearing. Zayn did blame him. And probably despised him a little bit, considering he pulled away when Liam touched him. Never could Liam have imagined that things between him and Zayn could go so wrong. They fit together like two pieces of a puzzle and he knew they were destined to be together forever. The love he held for Zayn was more than his heart could hold. He would not let Zayn pull away like this. He knew Zayn might be showing anger but deep down in his heart he was probably just afraid. Liam sighed and shut the water off. He walked out of his shower and got dressed before going downstairs. He walked into the kitchen and stopped when he saw Zayn in there, dressed, and feeding Ray.

 

“Hey,” Liam said cautiously, not knowing how Zayn was feeling. Zayn looked at him and nodded, then looked back to Ray.

 

“Sleep okay?” Liam asked as he poured himself some coffee. Zayn shrugged and turned around to put Ray’s cat food away.

 

“I’m going to class,” Zayn announced and picked up his backpack. “I umm… I can go back to my dorm today. You probably don’t want me here.”

“What? Why?” Liam asked. “What gave you the impression?”

 

“E-everything last night… things between us,” Zayn muttered as he pulled his jacket on.

 

Liam sighed and pinched his forehead. “Baby. I want you here. I want to work out whatever this tension is. I want to make things right. I can’t live with you so upset and angry with me. So no, I don’t want you to leave. I clearly want to be near you, and with you.”

 

“Well. My parents would feel comfortable if I stayed here a few say so…” Zayn twisted his fingers nervously.

 

“Is that the only reason?” Liam murmured. Zayn looked down at the ground, blinking rapidly. “Alright. Even if that’s your only reason, I’m okay with that,” Liam said.

 

“I should get going,” Zayn whispered, looking distressed.

 

“Patrick is taking me to work. We’ll drop you off first,” Liam told him.

 

“I- I can go myself,” Zayn said as he tried to put on his gloves, his hands shaking.

 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Liam replied. When he noticed how Zayn was struggling with a simple task like pulling his gloves on, Liam walked over to him. He took a hold of Zayn’s hands gently and the boy froze. Liam slowly pulled the black gloves onto his hands until they were snug against every finger and then kissed the soft cloth covered knuckles. Zayn’s smaller hands always fit so snugly inside his own. Liam lowered his hands then leaned forward and pecked Zayn’s forehead.

 

“I love you. You know that right?” Liam murmured.

 

Zayn stood still for a few moments, his eyes lowered, and he opened his mouth to say something but then clamped it shut. He turned around to grab his bag silently and Liam felt like his heart had cracked even more. That was the first time Zayn hadn’t said the three words back.

 

“I’m going to be late,” Zayn whispered softly.

 

He walked away towards the front door and Liam took a moment to collect himself and push his pain away before he followed Zayn to the elevator. The ride down the elevator was intensely silent. The car ride to Zayn’s class was even more worse and Patrick shot them looks in the mirror, noticing the space between them. Liam ignored him. When they reached the campus, Zayn hurried to get out of the car but Liam took his hand.

 

“Let me know when you finish class and if you plan on going anywhere otherwise I’ll be worried. And you can call Patrick to bring you home. And please, please be careful,” Liam said gently. Zayn nodded shortly and Liam kissed his cheek before he moved back and Zayn shot out of the car.

 

“Is everything okay?” Patrick asked.

 

“Nothing is okay,” Liam answered with a deep sigh.

 

 

**

 

 

“Zayn!”

 

Zayn stiffened as arms wrapped around him tightly. But when he pulled back and saw that it was Louis, he relaxed a little bit. “Hi, Lou.”

 

“How have you been? We haven’t heard anything from you for the past two days and we’ve been worried sick,” Louis chided.

 

“I’m fine,” Zayn replied. He had just come in to the café to start his shift and run into Louis who was already working. Even though he originally planned on calling in sick, he decided to come in anyways since he really needed the distraction. His classes had taken his mind off the hell he was living in but now his mind was in a whirlpool of panic again and he needed a distraction.

 

“I’m glad,” Louis said. Although his eyes were probing as he stared at Zayn trying to read his expression.

 

“I should start my shift,” Zayn said.

 

“Okay. But we’ll walk back to the dorms together afterwards. Are you staying with Liam?” Louis asked as they walked outside.

 

“Yes,” Zayn replied. “And I will come by. I need to get some things and see Harry.”

 

“He’s been a mess since you disappeared. He misses you like crazy,” Louis informed him.

 

“I know. I’m sorry,” Zayn murmured.

 

“Don’t be sorry dumbass. It’s not your fault. You went through hell. We just want to be here for you. You know Liam lost his mind when he found out you hadn’t come back. I’ve never seen someone so scared, broken and angry,” Louis said solemnly.

 

Zayn’s heart wrenched as he thought of the hell Liam must have been through the past few days and the hell Zayn was putting him through now. Acting cold to Liam was ripping him to shreds. Acting like he hated Liam’s touch, like he was angry with him, not responding when he said, ‘I love you’… it felt crippling.

 

“We should get to work,” Zayn said and quickly turned away to help Sam

 

 

**

 

“I think it’ll be good if you stay away from this dorm for a little while. The distance will be good and you’ll be safer with Liam.”

Zayn nodded absently as Harry stroked his hair, his head resting in Harry’s lap. Zayn had come back to the dorm after work and after Harry had started crying when he first entered, they had been talking for the past hour. More like Harry talking and Zayn listening. But being with his best friend was therapeutic and exactly what he needed while he had an internal meltdown.

 

“You won’t miss me?” Zayn laughed weakly.

 

“Of course I will. That’s why you can’t stay away for more than a week. Otherwise I’ll drag you back. And then I’m never letting you out of my sight again,” Harry said seriously.

 

“Wouldn’t expect any less,” Zayn said with a small smile.

 

Harry gave him a small glare then sighed and kissed his head. “You don’t know what we all went through when you disappeared Zayn. We all love you so fucking much and don’t you dare scare me like that again.”

 

“Sure. Next time Jason comes to grab me, I’ll say pretty please don’t take me and he’ll listen,” Zayn said sarcastically.

 

“You know I didn’t mean it like that. Don’t be so morbid Zay.” Harry smacked his arm.

 

“I’ve become a little accustomed to being morbid. It’s what I have to be to keep my shit together,” Zayn muttered.

 

“What?” Harry asked confusedly.

 

“Nothing.” Zayn sat up and rubbed his eyes. “I should call Patrick and go back to Liam’s.”

 

Harry nodded as Zayn sat up and shot Patrick a quick text asking if he was able to come pick him up. Patrick let him know that he’d gotten tied up somewhere and Liam would drive over himself to get Zayn. Those words made Zayn panic because he didn’t want to be alone with Liam again. Whenever he saw him he just wanted to spill everything and have Liam hold him and let him cry and then kiss him breathless. He was physically near Liam, but his soul felt like it was oceans away. He had never felt so lonely.

 

As Zayn packed up his things to leave, a knock sounded on the door and he turned to open it since Harry had gone off to shower. His RA, Jack, was stood on the other side.

 

“Hey Zayn. Someone is here to see you downstairs. They didn’t want to come up so I said I’d let you know,” Jack said.

 

“Okay,” Zayn said, thinking it was Liam. The man was probably upset or annoyed with him after Zayn’s behaviour. And although that was Zayn’s goal, it hurt knowing that Liam could fall for it. “Thank you.”

 

“No worries,” Jack said with a smile and left.

 

Harry returned from his shower so Zayn said his goodbyes and went next door to say goodbye to Louis as well. Then he shouldered his bag and went downstairs to the main lobby. Expecting to see Liam, he was shocked when he came upon Maheer.

 

“Maheer?” Zayn said in a surprised tone. “What…”

 

“Zayn.” Maheer stood up and gave him a small pained smile. “How are you?”

 

“Alright,” Zayn answered. “What are you doing here?”

“I had to see how you were. I’ve been feeling so fucking guilty after I left that night and you went all the way back to work and… whatever happened, happened. It was my job to protect you and I failed,” Maheer sighed.

 

“That was totally not your fault. You have to know that. I told you I was heading straight up to my room. How could you have known that I would go back? What was meant to happen was going to happen no matter what. We couldn’t have prevented it. Well… maybe I shouldn’t have gone back to work like an idiot… but anyways. Please don’t blame yourself. I already have the most important person in my life blaming himself… I don’t need people I barely know also doing it. It hurts,” Zayn frowned.

 

“I wanted to apologize regardless. And I wanted to offer to continue working for you, but without pay. As a way to apologize. You’re a good kid and I don’t want you to get hurt,” Maheer said.

 

“That’s ridiculous Maheer. I’m not going to take you away from an actual paying job. And to be honest, I’m not in a great place right now. I don’t think you should be my bodyguard again because I’ve lost hope in staying safe. And please… don’t give me some lecture on how I’m wrong. I don’t want to hear that right now. The most I can do for myself is make it through the day without crumbling,” Zayn explained.

 

“I… I’m really sorry Zayn. You don’t deserve any of this bullshit,” Maheer sympathized.

 

Zayn shrugged and cleared his throat before he gave Maheer a tight smile. “Well… thanks for coming by. It was really kind of you.”

 

“Of course. And if you need anything, just call me. You have my number. If you need a bodyguard again, someone to talk to, lessons on how to knock someone out… just call me,” Maheer said.

 

“Sure,” Zayn replied.

 

“I’ll see you then Zayn,” Maheer said and started to walk out.

 

“I’m actually heading out too,” Zayn said and followed him out. “Liam will be here soon to get me.”

 

“How is Mr. Payne? I thought he was going to kill me to be honest,” Maheer laughed lightly.

 

“He’s… I don’t know,” Zayn trailed off.

 

Maheer gave him a strange look but Zayn just shrugged the topic off and looked down the street where a group of people were laughing loudly. “So, I’ll see you.”

 

“Yeah.” Maheer moved forward and hugged him and Zayn stiffened up for a second, uncomfortable at the contact but he didn’t want to be rude since Maheer had been nothing but kind and he hugged him back. Zayn was just about to pull away when a car pulled up beside them and he looked over and saw that it was Liam. When he saw Zayn hugging Maheer he frowned and gave them a strange look. Zayn felt uncomfortable and he knew Liam probably felt hurt since Zayn refused to touch him. Maheer was drawing away but Zayn, to his own bitter self-hatred, held onto Maheer a little longer, knowing that Liam was watching. He may as well just cut deep. Liam would hate him. But what could he do unless if he wanted to let the love of his life get hurt?

“I thought you didn’t like strangers touching you,” Maheer teased. He gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder and moved away. Zayn shrugged and adjusted his bag as a door slammed and he looked over to see Liam.

 

“Maheer. Didn’t know you were still on my payroll,” Liam said.

 

“Mr. Payne,” Maheer said, surprised. “No, it’s not that. I just wanted to apologize to Zayn for you know… everything.”

 

Liam just levelled him with a cool look and didn’t respond. His expression was so chilly that Zayn felt his own body cover in goosebumps. And he felt panicked.

 

“Uh. Well I hope you guys have a good night. I am sorry for everything and if you ever need me for anything, you have my number,” Maheer offered. “Good night.”

 

He gave an awkward wave, then turned and left. Zayn stood rooted to his spot for a while then he turned slowly and saw Liam watching him with a blank expression. Then the man shook his head slightly and he turned to open Zayn’s door for him. “Let’s go,” Liam said.

 

Zayn silently got into the car and watched as Liam got into the driver’s seat, his jaw set tight. Zayn clenched his hands tightly in his lap and tried to control his breathing as his anxiety soared. He was going to be sick. John Legend’s ‘You and I’ played in the car and it felt so ironic in the moment. After a few seconds, Liam smacked the button to turn the music off. Zayn kept it together the entire ride to Liam’s penthouse and kept his tears in check as they rode up the elevator silently. When they finally entered the living room, Zayn set his bag down and turned around. Liam was watching him.

 

“So it’s only my touch you despise?” Liam asked.

 

Zayn felt like his legs would give out under him. He wanted to scream and say that Liam’s touch was the only one he wanted but he couldn’t have it anymore. His eyes got watery no matter how hard he tried to stop it and his body shook.

 

“Is that your biggest issue right now? That I won’t let you touch me? Has it been so long since you last fucked me?” Zayn spat out, trying to throw out anything to make this facade believable. To let it happen. To break Liam’s heart.

 

“Zayn!” Liam’s face was clouded in anger and shock. “Don’t throw that fucked up shit at me. You know that’s not what I mean.”

 

“No, Liam. How could I be so unbelievably selfish? I’ve been depriving you of what your nature constantly desires. So you know what…” Zayn threw off his jacket and tugged his hoodie off. “Go ahead, do what you need to.” He started to unzip his pants and Liam came over and gripped his hands tightly.

 

“Stop it!” Liam yelled. “This isn’t you Zayn! What the fuck is going on? I was talking about me touching you or holding you, not fucking you. I thought you trusted me. I thought you loved me. But lately…”

 

“I’m sorry that I’m not the picture of perfection that you need me to be. And I’m sorry if other people provide more comfort to me then you do these days. They don’t remind me of how my life went wrong with no fault of my own,” Zayn said and pulled away.

 

Liam looked so hurt in that moment that Zayn almost reached out to him. “I don’t need you to be the picture of perfection, sweetheart. I just need _you_. Every side of you. I just need you happy and healthy and safe. I love you so fucking much that I would do anything for you. And it hurts not knowing how to fix this right now,” Liam sighed.

 

“You could give me some space for once. Being around you makes it worse,” Zayn fibbed uneasily.

 

“And strangers like Maheer help?” Liam asked with a shake of his head.

 

“Maybe. He also offered to teach me self-defense and I might take his offer,” Zayn said.

 

“I would have been more than happy to teach you to box and defend yourself,” Liam replied.

 

“I’d rather not be constantly reminded of why I need the lessons in the first place,” Zayn murmured.

 

Liam gave him a tight smile and nodded his head. “Got it. As long as you feel comfortable and safer. I have no complaints.”

 

“Great. I’m gonna go to sleep.” Zayn grabbed his stuff and turned to go up the stairs.

 

“Are you sleeping in your study room again?” Liam asked.

 

“Yes,” Zayn answered.

 

“Why?” Liam questioned him.

 

“You know why,” Zayn retorted and hurried up the stairs. He reached the room Liam had made for him, now called his study room or as a joke sometimes, the ‘Zayn room.’ He went inside and collapsed onto the rug in a heap to break down crying.

 

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry. I love you so much. I’m so fucking sorry!” Zayn screamed into a cushion. He punched the ground a few times until his previously split knuckles opened up again. He cried into the cushion and watched the rug stain red in a few tiny areas from his blood. His breathing eventually calmed down as his eyes dried out and his body exhausted itself. Zayn fell asleep on the ground, curled up in a small ball.

 

 

 

**

 

 

He wasn’t going to do it. He couldn’t do it. Zayn was sat in his Chemistry lecture and staring down at his Cartier bracelet when the thought simply occurred to him. He couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t behave terribly with Liam anymore. He couldn’t leave him. He couldn’t part from his literal heart and not die. He’d actually die. This morning Liam had still been so patient despite how rude Zayn had been. He didn’t talk much but he kissed Zayn’s forehead and whispered, ‘I love you,’ before leaving for work.

 

Zayn shot up from his seat and ran out of his lecture hall, pulling his phone from his pocket to call Liam. He’d tell him everything. But right when he was about to dial the number, his phone rang with an unknown number on the screen.

 

“Hello?” Zayn answered.

 

“Zayn. How are you?”

 

He recognized the voice on the other end and screeched to a halt. He felt sick. “Max,” Zayn said through clenched teeth. “Why are you calling me? You said you’d leave me alone.”

 

“I did. As long as you kept your promise. Which you haven’t. You’re still playing house with Payne. You live there. So I don’t see how that’s keeping your end of the deal,” Max implored.

 

“I- I can’t Max. I can’t do it. I can’t hurt Liam. I just can’t!” Zayn begged.

 

“Hmm. Seems like you’d rather have Liam physically harmed than break his heart. He’ll move on from the broken heart but what about a fractured body?” Max said.

 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Zayn screamed. Students walking past him gave him strange looks but Zayn couldn’t care less.

 

“I don’t know. But if you need a push, ask Liam where he is. You’ll understand how serious I am,” Max said and shut the phone.

 

Zayn’s heart was racing and his mind was an overworked mess. He hastily dialed Liam’s number and closed his eyes as he listened to it ring. Once. Twice. Thrice-

 

“Hello?”

 

“Ameera?” Zayn asked frantically as he heard the woman’s voice answer instead of Liam. “Where’s Liam?”

 

“Sweetie… Liam didn’t want me to tell you because he thought you’d get stressed… but Liam just had a small accident on the construction site for the hotel expansion. Nothing major so don’t freak out. This beam fell and broke some glass and he got a deep cut on his hand. But otherwise he’s okay,” Ameera said in a reassuring tone.

 

“Wh-where is he?” Zayn said as he cried in anguish.

 

“We’re at the emergency room and he’s getting his hand bandaged and a shot, you know just in case. After we get out of here I’m going to make sure he takes the day off and goes home,” Ameera replied.

 

“P-please make sure he’s okay. _Please,_ ” Zayn pleaded.

 

“I will darling. But aren’t you going to come see him?” Ameera inquired.

 

“I can’t. I can’t. I- Just make sure he’s okay.” Zayn shut the phone as Ameera started to say something. He couldn’t take it anymore. He ran into the nearest building, found a bathroom and rushed into a stall to throw up. He hadn’t eaten anything all day so he pretty much threw up water, but his throat burned. His body shook and he trembled. He dry heaved for a while until his body realized there was nothing to get out anymore. He leaned against the stall door and rubbed his eyes.

 

The realization that dawned on him in that moment was crystal clear. There was nothing to think about anymore. There was no contemplation anymore. He’d been asking Allah to show him a sign, let him do whatever was right. He’d been battling with himself to figure out a way to deal with the hell he was in. But it was obvious what he had to do. He told Liam he’d sacrifice himself for him if it came to that. And that’s what he would do.

 

Zayn stumbled out of the stall dizzily and went over to the sink to splash water on his face. A guy washing his hands gave him a funny look. “You okay man?” he asked.

 

Zayn shook his head and rinsed his mouth out before he left the bathroom. He had another class to go to but he couldn’t care. He started walking, not knowing where he was going. He walked and walked down Manhattan’s streets, stumbling past people, until his legs were ready to give out. He had no idea where he was but he found a bench and fell down onto it. He sat there for what felt like hours until the sun started to set. And he knew what he had to do.

 

**

 

 

Zayn walked into Liam’s place on light footsteps. He didn’t know if he would still be awake right now. Zayn had been ignoring his calls all day and when it was obvious Liam was freaking out, he texted back a simple ‘I’m fine.’ Now he entered the man’s apartment, feeling so uncomfortable in his own skin. He knew what he had to do. He knew it had to be soon. And he knew it had to be believable. And believable meant harsh. But when he walked into the living room, he saw Liam sat with Niall and Tom and he skidded to a stop.

 

“Zayn, how’s it going?” Niall asked with a smile. Liam looked up at Niall’s words and smiled softly in Zayn’s direction.

 

“Fine,” Zayn replied and shuffled awkwardly in the doorway.

 

He saw Ray lazing on the ground so he picked him up and perched on the edge of the sofa Liam was on. Liam was watching him carefully and Zayn avoided his gaze.

 

“How are you feeling now?” Tom asked.

 

“Okay I guess,” Zayn answered.

 

“I was just telling Liam this too, but with Max and Jason walking around free I really think you should file for a restraining order. Liam as well but especially you. They seem to keep targeting you and it would be safest for you to do this,” Niall explained.

 

“I- I really don’t care anymore. I truly and honestly don’t care about them and what they do anymore. I want to forget about things, not keep dealing with them,” Zayn replied tiredly.

 

“It’s fine baby,” Liam reassured and squeezed his hand. “We can talk about it later. Whether you want to file a restraining order, get another bodyguard… we can talk about it.”

 

“There’s nothing to talk about. I want to do none of those things. I just want to move on and forget about everything,” Zayn said firmly.

 

He shot Liam a fleeting glance and noticed the thick bandage on his hand. His eyes lingered on it and his heart clenched painfully. When he looked up and made eye contact with Liam, he fell prey to the man’s probing gaze. Zayn quickly looked away and adjusted Ray in his lap. The kitten was falling asleep.

 

“I’m gonna go to sleep,” Zayn announced quietly. Liam nodded at him and when Zayn got up to leave, Liam grabbed his hand gently and kissed it.

 

“Sleep well angel,” Liam said.

 

Zayn walked upstairs and collapsed onto the bed in his study room. He couldn’t bring himself to sleep next to Liam when he knew what he was going to do. He didn’t feel slightly comfortable anywhere but in this room. Zayn held Ray close to himself as he stared at the ceiling of the room. He was so mentally exhausted, he couldn’t even think. He stared blankly at the ceiling for a long time until he heard the distant sound of the front door close. He was too far from the master bedroom to hear if Liam went in but after the sound of footsteps from the stairs faded away, he was sure Liam had gone to his room.

 

It was close to two a.m. and Zayn still couldn’t sleep. He was in a defeated state of mind. He kept working over what he needed to say or do to break up with Liam but his throat closed up, restricting his breathing, every time. After a long time of just laying there, he felt his heart being tugged in one direction. He slowly got up from the bed and quietly walked out of the room. He walked across the second floor to Liam’s bedroom. The door had been left fully open as if Liam expected Zayn to come in. Zayn walked into the room and saw Liam asleep on Zayn’s side of the bed instead of his own. Tears stung his eyes as he walked over to Liam’s side and knelt on the floor beside him.

 

“Seems like I can only talk to you when you’re asleep now,” Zayn said shakily. “I wish more than anything I could talk to you when you’re awake. Tell you everything. Tell you what Max wants me to do. Tell you how he’s trying to rip us apart. Not try, he’s successful. Because he’s threatening your life. Look at what he did.” Zayn picked up Liam’s bandaged gently, so as not to wake him, and kissed it.

 

“I was weak and couldn’t do what he wanted me to do sooner. And he showed me what he was capable of by hurting you today. And if I don’t do it, he’ll go further.” Zayn paused and closed his eyes as the tears streamed out thickly and his chest heaved. “Never would I have thought that our story would end like this. We were supposed to be each other’s forever. Eternal. And now… Now I have to learn how to be without you. And it’s going to kill me because I _can’t._ I can’t be without you jaan. I can’t. But the damage that happens to my heart is not even close to how precious your life and safety are for me. Max said he targeted me to get to you because I was your weakness. But you’re also my weakness. I love you so fucking much and I would do anything for you. Tearing us apart to keep you safe is one of those things.”

 

Zayn watched Liam’s face as he breathed evenly. His face looked peaceful, which wasn’t something he saw on his face these days. Zayn ran tentative fingers through Liam’s beard which had gotten thicker over the past week. He leaned forward and pecked Liam’s cheek softly. “Do you know what the worst thing is? Actually… there’s nothing about this that isn’t fucked up… but the worst thing is, that you’re going to hate me. You’re going to hate me and _that_ will kill me.” Zayn covered his mouth to stifle a sob. “Since the day we met I’ve only ever seen adoration, want or love in your eyes for me. It made me feel so alive. It made me feel like the most loved person on this planet. It helped me breathe. And now I’ll see hatred or disgust in your eyes and I won’t know how to live with it. You’re the last person on this earth I would want to see that look on. You’re my everything. And soon you won’t even know that anymore because you’ll also think that I don’t love you anymore.”

 

Zayn rested his head on the bed beside Liam and gazed at him, broken throughout his body. “If there’s one wish that I have, it’s that you don’t hate me too much. That you eventually forgive me. I won’t be able to see devastation in your eyes knowing that I caused it. I hope you learn to be happy again…” Zayn’s voice cracked at those words and he swallowed heavily. “My heart aches knowing it won’t be with me but as long as you live your life happily I’ll be okay.”

 

Zayn let out a short laugh and quickly stopped so he wouldn’t wake Liam up. “I can’t believe a few months ago I thought I was the luckiest person on the planet. I had found the love of my life in a way I would never have imagined. I found love with the most amazing man to exist. My soulmate. My person. And now… it’s being taken away.” He shook his head. “Yesterday I bitterly thought to myself that it would have been better if we had never met. If that the day we met, I had never been in the library. Your life would have been simpler because Max wouldn’t have anyone to target and hurt to get to you. And we wouldn’t have to go through this crippling heartache. But today I realized that I don’t wish for that. I’m so grateful that I met you. I’m so fucking grateful every single day that we met and fell in love. I’m so fucking grateful that you lied about that raffle and got me to come work for you. I’m so grateful that you pursued me and showed me how amazing you are. I was so gone for you from the moment we met but I wasn’t able to do anything. So, I’m so grateful that you didn’t give up and showed me true love. I’m so grateful that we fell in love because these have been the best few months of my life. These will always be the best months of my life. I’ll never be happy like this, or actually at all, ever again. Surgically removing your happiness from your life doesn’t guarantee anything but never-ending pain.”

 

Zayn took a deep shaky breath and leaned forward to kiss Liam gently on the lips. “Thinking about never feeling your lips on mine again makes me feel like my lungs will collapse. We haven’t kissed since the night in my bedroom at my parent’s house. I wanted you to hold me and never let go. I didn’t want you to stop kissing me. I want you to take me away somewhere so we can escape all this fucked up shit. But that’s not possible. I love you so fucking much meri jaan. Please don’t ever forget that. That’s so silly because you’ll think I don’t love you… but I hope deep down in your heart you know how real and true my love is. How infinite it is.”

 

Zayn sat there quietly for a few moments and just watched Liam sleep, wanting nothing more than to crawl into his arms and forget the world. _“Kaise, jiyunga kaise? Bataa de mujhko, tere bina. Tera mera jahaan, le chalun main wahaan, koi tujhko na mujhse chura le. Rakh loon aankhon mein main, kholoon palke na main, koi tujhko na mujhse chura le. Main andheron se ghira hoon, aa dikha de tu mujhko savera mera. Main bhatakta ik musafir, aa dila de tu mujhko basera mera.”_ Zayn softly sang the lyrics to a song which had been running through his mind all day. He knew how much Liam loved it when he sang, especially in Urdu. This may be the last time ever. And even if the man wasn’t awake for it, Zayn wanted to do it.

 

“In another life, maybe in the life after death, I’ll have you for an eternity. We’ll be with each other forever. No one will tear us apart. The sacrifice I’m making to keep you safe should count as something. Because if I’m ever given another chance, I’ll never let you go again. I’ll be incredibly selfish next time.” Zayn wore a watery smile and pressed another quick kiss to Liam’s lips. “I have always loved you. I love you now. And I’ll love you till my dying breath. No one else will ever come into my life because you’re it for me. I had my one true love and I’ll somehow survive on those memories. Thank you for treating my heart so tenderly. Thanking you for loving me so incredibly. Thank you for giving me my world. I’ll never let go. You will _always_ be my jaan. And I will always remain your bambi eyes.”

 

His heart practically fell from his chest as he slowly stood up and backed away from Liam. He kept his eyes on Liam as he wrapped his arms around his stomach. Before he could collapse right there on the ground, he turned and left the room. Zayn didn’t go back to his room, he went up to the roof and sat on a pool side chair and stared at the starry night sky, feeling the October chill in his bones and letting it numb his heart.

 

 

**

 

 

Liam walked out of his bedroom, dressed for work, checking his phone. He swore internally when he saw a that he was meant to be in Vegas today for a meeting. He was scheduled to leave on the jet at 9 a.m. and be back by night time. He had totally forgotten. Liam texted Ameera to adjust his schedule so he could leave for Vegas. But he felt uneasy in his heart thinking about going back to Vegas when the last time he had gone, Zayn had been so devastated. But these days it seemed like Zayn would rather be apart from him. Liam sighed and started towards the stairs when he noticed the door to the roof open. He had locked it last night. Slightly alarmed, he went up the stairs to the roof and looked around. It was extremely chilly and the sun was still low in the sky. He did a quick scan and froze when he saw Zayn asleep on a pool chair.

 

“What the fuck,” Liam murmured.

 

He quickly walked over to Zayn and touched a hand to his face which was freezing cold. Liam quickly gathered Zayn in his arms and went downstairs to his bedroom. He tucked him under the thick comforter and slid his hand underneath it to rub some warmth into Zayn’s hands.

 

“What are you doing, angel?” Liam asked in a distraught tone.

 

Zayn’s eyes blinked open blearily and they were blood-shot. He blinked at Liam and gave him a small smile. “Liam…” Zayn whispered softly.

 

“Yes my love?” Liam asked gently.

 

Zayn tightened his hands around Liam’s and gazed at him sleepily for a few seconds. Then his eyes fluttered closed again and he was asleep. Liam touched a hand to Zayn’s face and stroked the sharp of his cheekbone with a thumb. “I love you so much angel. More than you’ll ever know.” He kissed Zayn’s forehead then tucked the comforter around him more tightly. He didn’t know if Zayn would read his text messages so he wrote a note explaining that he was going to Vegas for the day and would see Zayn here tonight.

 

Then he pressed a couple more light kisses across Zayn’s face, not wanting to leave. After a few minutes, he sighed and moved back to leave. He prayed to whatever entity or universe out there that would listen, that Zayn would be happy again. That hurt and pain would stop following him around. That he could trust Liam again. And hopefully still love him.

 

 

**

 

 

He had skipped classes. There was no point of going to class like a zombie when his heart was so fractured. Zayn had woken up in Liam’s bed to his surprise and realized that Liam must have found him on the roof and brought him here. Zayn had found Liam’s shirt on the edge of the bed, covered in his scent. Zayn had hugged it to his body and lain in bed most of the morning. He had read Liam’s note and ached at the sign off, ‘Love you my angel.’ Ray had somehow travelled upstairs and Zayn had pulled him into bed as well and stroked his head absently as Ray nuzzled his chest.

 

“Be good to daddy when I’m not here. I don’t know if he’ll want me here after everything, but I’ll try to come visit you. I love you.” Zayn kissed Ray’s tiny head and closed his eyes.

 

His phone buzzed with a text from Louis asking him what was wrong since Zayn had called in sick to work. Zayn responded shortly saying he didn’t feel good. Then he texted back his dad and Harry both who had also been checking in on him. Zayn was about to shut his phone when his eye caught Maheer’s name. His mind clicked instantly and he sent him a text.

 

**To Maheer: Can we meet today?**

The other man’s reply came in a few minutes later.

 

**From Maheer: Sure. Where?**

**To Maheer: Liam’s place.**

**From Maheer: I’m working until 7-8 p.m. After that okay?**

**To Maheer: Sure. See you then.**

**From Maheer: See you.**

Zayn took a deep breath in and out. Days of being an asshole to Liam had shown him that the man wouldn’t back down. Now while Zayn did not have the courage to do something insanely drastic, he knew the seed he needed to plant and the things he needed to say to let everything crack. It was the only way.

 

 

**

 

 

“I’ve been here only a handful of times, yet every time this place amazes me.”

 

Zayn handed Maheer a mug of tea and watched the man take an impressive sweep of the penthouse as they passed by several rooms to go into the living room. “Liam does pretty well for himself.”

 

“You must be proud. A rich, successful, intelligent, talented and handsome man to call your own,” Maheer said with a smile as they settled onto the sofas.

 

“Called. Past tense,” Zayn said absently.

 

“What?” Maheer asked in a confused tone.

 

“I can’t- I can’t be with him anymore,” Zayn started.

 

“Why?” Maheer asked.

 

“It’s complicated. But I have to… I have to break up with him.” This was the first time Zayn had said the words aloud and they sliced through his heart.

 

“Zayn don’t be ridiculous. I don’t know you very well but from what I’ve seen, you love him so much. It’s impressive how much love your heart holds for him. I’ve never seen this intensity in someone so young,” Maheer pointed out.

 

“I do love him. I love him more than life itself. But it’s- it’s just crucial right now that we not be together. It’s better for Liam,” Zayn stated.

 

“I don’t understand,” Maheer said slowly.

 

“Like I said. It’s hard to explain,” Zayn continued. “But none of my family or friends would understand so I needed to talk to someone else. You wouldn’t try to make me change my mind or offer your opinions which is what I need.”

 

“It’s not my place to offer an opinion. I just hope you know what you’re doing. I can only imagine what you’ll both go through when you tell him,” Maheer said.

 

“I don’t know either,” Zayn replied quietly.

 

“So, did you invite me here to talk or learn some self-defense moves?” Maheer questioned.

 

“I’m not sure. Talk I guess. I’ve been going a little crazy. And maybe I needed your help but I wasn’t sure how,” Zayn added.

 

“Help for what?” Maheer asked.

 

“I don’t know… a push for the breakup,” Zayn muttered.

 

“I’m in no position to push anything. And I don’t personally think you should do it but if that’s what you feel is best, then do right by yourself,” Maheer responded.

 

Zayn took a deep breath and nodded as tears sprung to his eyes He couldn't help it when tears started rolling down his cheeks at the thought of what was to come. He felt a hand squeeze his own and he looked up.

 

"Something is clearly distressing you and I won't probe and ask you what. But if you want to talk about it some more I'm here. If you don't want to talk to me, maybe talk to your friends, a family member or even a counsellor. Trust me, it helps," Maheer said.

 

"Thank you. But I really can't talk about this," Zayn whispered.

 

"Well then how about just sitting here and watching a movie? Maybe eating some junk and trying to feel better? I'm good company," Maheer said with a smile.

 

"Okay," Zayn answered. "Liam will be home soon... and yeah, maybe you should stay..." What he was trying to do here was so horrible but he felt so trapped and like he had no other choice.

 

"Alright. Show me where the food is," Maheer said standing up.

 

Zayn directed him back to the kitchen and after he returned with all kinds of junk food, they sat and ended up watching Friends on Netflix instead of a movie. Zayn bit his nails nervously the entire time, his stomach doing flip flops as he watched the time, waiting for Liam to arrive. He was going to be sick again. He felt like he was all cried out but his heart was pounding so loudly, he wondered if Maheer could hear it. Zayn was starting to fall asleep on the sofa and he felt a blanket being draped over his body. 

 

"Liam?" Zayn mumbled and reached out to grab the hand.

 

"No, it's me. Maheer. Listen, I'm going to go home now since it's close to 11. I have to be up early for work and I think you're ready to pass out too," Maheer grinned at him and Zayn nodded tiredly. He was exhausted. Last night had been rough. And Liam still wasn't home which delayed everything he meant to do. 

 

"Alright," Zayn said. He got up halfway from his horizontal position and hugged Maheer as a thank you for listening to him and spending time with him. Maheer hugged him back.

 

"You're a good kid Zayn. Look out for yourself and hesitate to call me,” he said.

 

Zayn nodded and Maheer pressed a friendly kiss to his head. Zayn was about to draw back when he heard a thump beside him. He looked to the side and saw Liam in the entranceway. His face a dark cloud of disbelief, confusion and anger.

 

"Liam," Zayn said slowly. His heart was on speed with the way it raced inhumanely.

 

"Mr. Payne. I was just leaving- Zayn wanted to talk..." Maheer trailed off, looking confused and frightened by Liam's face.

 

"You have half a second to get out of my house," Liam said in a freakishly calm voice.

 

"Okay... I don't... I don't know what's going on here but..." Maheer looked so confused that Zayn felt more terrified and awful.

 

"Get out." Liam gritted his teeth.

 

"I'll see you Zayn," Maheer said and quickly went to leave. Zayn heard the front door close and he kept staring at the TV where the home page of Netflix was displayed. His ears were ringing with the silence and he avoided Liam's gaze.

 

"I don't even know where to start or what to start with or what to think. Care to venture a few words?" Liam questioned in a heavy voice.

 

"About what?" Zayn tried to keep his voice steady as he looked over. "About Maheer... about you... me... us... what?"

 

"Everything Zayn! Every fucking thing!" Liam roared.

 

"Okay fine!" Zayn threw aside the blanket and stood up on shaky legs. "How about we start with how you've ruined my life! My peace of mind! My sanity!" 

 

Liam looked taken aback and he walked further into the room to stand right in front of Zayn. "How?"

 

"How? How?!? Max. Jason. Kidnapping. Attempted sexual assault. Stalking. Ring a bell? Would these have happened to me if you didn't have petty issues with Max?" Zayn yelled. This was it. This was really it. He couldn't hold back. He would have to let the word vomit he had practiced flow out and hold himself together. 

 

"What? Zayn, I understand that somehow it's my fault but do you honestly think that I started it? Or that I directly brought those things upon you?" Liam asked horrified.

 

"Yes. I do. And I can't sleep, eat, study, or focus on anything. All I do is cry and have panic attacks thinking back to the moments where someone took advantage of me," Zayn shot out.

 

"Baby, we can fix this. I've already apologized so many times and I'll apologize to you for the rest of my life. What else can I do?" Liam sighed.

 

"Don't call me baby," Zayn murmured.

 

"What?" Liam was shocked.

 

"I don't want to be your baby or- or your angel or anything!" Zayn snapped

 

"Zayn-" Liam sounded pained. 

 

"I don't want to be your anything," Zayn affirmed.

 

"Don't." Liam was more firm this time and he moved back a few steps to take a couple deep breaths. "Don't do that. You're deflecting your hurt and fear in the wrong way. We can talk about this," Liam pleaded.

 

"How can I talk to you when every time I look at you it hurts. It hurts so fucking much," Zayn said with angry tears. "That the one person I thought could never hurt me, did. You hurt me. You caused me pain. And I can't look at you and see the man I fell in love with anymore. I see everything wrong with you and your world and the darkness you brought into my life."

 

Liam leaned back against the piano and gazed at Zayn with such profound hurt and shock across his face. Zayn held his hands tightly, his knuckles turning white. He couldn't stop now. 

 

"Zayn," Liam whispered and reached forward to take his hand.

 

"Don't. Don't touch me." Zayn pulled back and walked back several steps. "It triggers my anxiety."

 

"I trigger your anxiety?" Liam pushed out in disbelief. "Me?" 

 

"You and everything around you," Zayn replied.

 

"I love you. _You_ love me," Liam said. "There has to be something else going on… how did we come to this? How do we go back?"

 

"I don't know about any of that. All I know is that I can't do this anymore," Zayn whispered. His heart was shattered and smeared on the marble floors.

 

"What do you mean?" Liam asked cautiously.

 

"I can't do this Liam! I can't do us! I can't be with you anymore!" Zayn shouted.

 

"Zayn," Liam said, distraught and angry tears in his eyes. "What the fuck?"

 

"I can't be with you. I don't _want_ to be with you. I did not sign on for a life of constant fear, anxiety, and panic attacks. I did not sign on to get roofied and kidnapped because someone wants revenge from you. I did not sign up to live my life looking over my shoulder. I don't want this. I don't need this."

 

"Zayn! Stop!" Liam begged. He came up to Zayn and grabbed his shoulders. Zayn pulled away and sank down onto the sofa. Liam kneeled in front of him and gathered Zayn’s hands into his own. He pressed endless kisses to them and then cupped Zayn’s face. "Baby, you're breaking my heart," Liam said in a destroyed voice.

 

Zayn looked up and saw tears rolling down Liam's face. Liam's face was broken and full of anguish. He looked confused, shock and hurt. Zayn wanted to take back everything and tell Liam he was lying. But he bit his tongue and looked away. He needed to stay strong.

 

"But you've already broken my heart Liam. I guess it makes sense," Zayn whispered.

 

"I would never break your heart. You're my everything. My world. My heaven and earth. Heart and soul. My entire _life_. I'd rather die than hurt you," Liam said in a voice tight with emotions. 

 

"And yet you did," Zayn replied and pulled away to go stand by the window. "You did. I didn't want a love that hurts me so much. I want a love that's simple and easy. Someone without so much baggage. And I've seen that it's out there."

 

"What?" Liam asked slowly. 

 

"Why should I be with you, only to hurt myself, when I can have something safer and easier?" Zayn started off.

 

"Who? Maheer?" Liam asked, anger rising now. "What are you trying to say? You want to be with him?"

 

Zayn shrugged and Liam's face clouded over. "Anyone. Could be Maheer or anyone to be honest. I just don't want this anymore."

 

"Did you... I know you and I know you love me- loved me... I know you wouldn't..." Liam shook his head disbelievingly.

 

"Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I've just had a look at what I could have," Zayn said

 

"When I walked in..." Liam said in a voice that dreaded the answer. "What was that?"

 

"Think whatever you want. I don't have to tell you anything," Zayn said

 

"Think what?! That you have some strange guy in _my_ home, who you suddenly think would be better for you? Are you fucking with me or do I just not know you anymore? Because I swear to God, this isn't you." Liam's voice rose in sharp anger.

 

"Just because I'm not what you need me to be doesn't mean I'm not acting like myself!" Zayn yelled back.

 

"So you mean the fact that you're implying you not only want to be with other people but you may have also done something with someone else is supposed to be you? Who are you right now?" Liam clenched his fists angrily and turned away.

 

"Maybe I needed comfort. Maybe I just wanted to forget you for a few moments. I despise your touch, I can't stand to be around you and maybe comfort from someone else, a kiss from someone else... it could help me forget," Zayn said.

 

Liam turned around slowly and looked at him in utter disbelief. Heart ache, anger, betrayal and pure shock dripped from his face. "Zayn..."

 

"When I'm near you, I remember everything awful that happened. I can't stand your touch. I can't be with you anymore without thinking about what awful thing may happen next. I literally... can not... do this anymore..." Zayn declared.

 

"And you realized that as you kissed someone else? You couldn't find a less fucked up way?" Liam said in utter disbelief, his face pale and angry. 

 

Zayn shrugged and that's when something in Liam's face snapped. "Get out."

 

"What?" Zayn asked bewilderedly.

 

"Get. The. Fuck. Out." Liam said through clenched teeth. 

 

That was it. Zayn saw the disgust and anger in Liam's eyes. He'd done it. He'd shattered the heart of the person he loved more than anything or anyone. He'd broken Liam's heart and made the man hate him. He wanted to collapse.

 

"Get out!" Liam yelled.

 

Zayn snapped out of his trance and started backing away. He turned quickly to walk away and paused in the entrance of the living room.

 

"For what it's worth. I'm sorry that it had to be like this," Zayn said slowly. "I didn't think our story would end up here."

 

Liam closed his eyes tightly and Zayn walked away. He opened the front door with shaky hands as his chest started heaving and his tears spilled. He needed to get out of here. As he exited and shut the door, he heard a loud crash from the other side.

 

Zayn gasped out a cry and smacked the elevator button as a panic attack ripped through his body. He stumbled in and crashed into the corner as it descended. He gripped his throat. It was closing up. He couldn't breathe. He took heavy breaths and coughed as air still refused to enter his lungs. He was sobbing loudly and uncontrollably now. As he reached the lobby, he staggered outside and collapsed against the wall of the building, coughing and struggling to breathe. Nausea also attacked his body and he couldn't see or hear anything except his own loud heartbeat.

 

".... Mr. Malik? Mr. Malik?"

 

Zayn looked over and through his tears, he saw the doorman looking at him with concern. He was a nice middle aged who Liam sometimes joked with whenever they came in and out of the building. He had learnt Zayn’s name pretty quickly as well and always greeted him warmly.

 

"Are you okay? Should I call Mr. Payne down?" The man asked in concern.

 

"No! No! Don't call Liam!" Zayn stumbled away and fell down on the curb and covered his face as he cried. Sobs wracked though his body violently and he started dry heaving. He covered his mouth as a scream wrangled out of his throat. Some people passing by were giving him strange looks. Zayn quickly pulled out his phone and dialed the first number.

 

"Baba! Baba p-please come get me!" Zayn cried hysterically into the phone.

 

"Zayn?! Beta what happened? Where are you?" Yaser asked, his voice worried and scared.

 

"Outside Liam's building! Please, please, please! Baba, I feel like I'm dying! I'm- I can't breathe! Baba, please!" Zayn screamed.

 

"Zayn, why are you outside Liam's building and not inside? I'll come get you but can you please go up to his place in the mean time?" Yaser asked.

 

"No! I can't! I can't! Just please come get me! I-I'm going to pass out." Zayn took a shattering breath and tucked his head between his knees as a wave of nausea hit him.

 

"Zayn, I'm in the car right now. I think I should call Liam," Yaser suggested frantically.

 

"No! I'm begging you. You have to swear on my life! Don't call Liam! Just please come get me!" Zayn cried.

 

"I'm coming beta. I'm coming. Please at least go inside somewhere and stay safe I don't know how long I'll be," Yaser pleaded in a distressed tone.

 

"Please hurry." Zayn shut his phone and tucked his head back between his knees as another wave of nausea hit him. This would be the appropriate moment to die. God could take him now. He ignored the vibrating of his phone and rocked back and forth for God knows how long. Maybe an hour or more. 

 

Eventually a car pulled up beside him and footsteps came running up to him. "Zayn! Oh my God! What happened?"

 

Zayn looked up and saw Yaser who stood before him, clearly having been woken up from bed. He looked so scared. Yaser took his hand and helped him get settled into the car and then went to the driver’s seat.

 

"Zayn please. I’m imagining the worst right now. What happened?" Yaser begged.

 

"L-Liam and I broke up," Zayn stammered tearfully.

 

"What?!" Yaser asked in shock. "How? What... did he break up with you?"

 

Zayn shook his head and covered his face. "I did. I broke up with him. I left him."

 

"Zayn-" Yaser started.

 

"Please take me home. I need to be far away right now."

 

 

**

 

 

Liam sat on the sofa, his head in his hands, the glass coffee table shattered to bits in front of him. It was very much like how his entire soul felt.

 

_‘I don’t want to be with you anymore. I despise you. I’d rather be with someone else. I found comfort with someone else. I kissed someone else.’_

Every single word had seared straight into his heart. Into his soul. Zayn had ripped out his heart with those very words and stomped all over it. His ears were ringing with the words, his brain was running a mile a minute, and his bleeding heart lay on the ground. Never had he imagined that this could happen. Never had he imagined that Zayn of all people in this world would break his heart in such a ruthless manner. He couldn’t believe. It couldn’t be true. Zayn wouldn’t do this. Not his sweet, kind, loving, and loyal Zayn. Zayn loved him. Liam knew his heart. But the things he had said… had he really been so upset and angry with Liam that he had gone as far as kissing someone else? The same Zayn who had said Liam was the only person he wanted to kiss, or be with for the rest of his life? His Zayn. His angel.

 

Liam pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes as the tears rained out. He felt sick. He felt tortured. He felt broken. He felt like his heart was giving out and he was dying. His phone was buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out to see a text message. He didn’t even care to read the message because when he saw his lock screen picture of Zayn laughing brightly, he stopped breathing. Sudden frustration and anger crushed him again and he whirled his phone across the room and watched it shatter and break against the window. He was clenching his fist so tightly, that his stitches from the accident yesterday broke open. His hand was bleeding profusely.

 

The image of Zayn kissing someone else made him angry, and sick. Sick to his stomach. This wasn’t real. This wasn’t happening. He felt like he was seeing spots in front of his eyes with the way rage was burning through his body. He blacked out a little as he ripped everything in the living room to shreds. When he finally came to, he was kneeling on the living room floor, surrounded by broken glass and overturned furniture. His hands bloody. He hadn’t had a blackout episode of rage like this in a long time. And the thought of Zayn, who he loved more than anything in this world, betraying him and hating him made him want to set the entire room on fire.

 

He touched his fingertips to the ‘Zayn’ tattoo on his wrist and felt tears spring to his eyes. “Why angel? Why? Why did you have to break my heart like this?”

 

Tears burst from his eyes and he covered his face with his bloodied hand, unable to care about the blood on his face now, and let the frustrated tears mix in with his blood. It dripped onto the white carpet leaving it colored in patterns of red. And truly, it felt like his heart was bleeding out on to the carpet.

 

 

**

 

 

 

_‘I will love you till my dying breath.’_

Liam watched the blood circle into the sink. Zayn’s soft words playing in his ears. Words of love and forever. And then the other day, how Zayn had said forever was just a word. He hated Liam. He despised his touch. He had been pushed to find comfort… or something… with someone else. And it was all Liam’s fault. He had pushed Zayn to this extent by bringing darkness into his life. He was the reason Zayn went through hell. He was the reason the boy had reached this point in his life. And their relationship had ended up here. But Liam wasn’t about to step away.

 

Last night, he had let his surprise and anger take control of him and he had told Zayn to leave. It had been late, he had no idea where the boy had gone. The fact that he hadn’t thought it through, hadn’t even remembered the trauma Zayn had been through, or how Max and Jason were out free, and had thrown him out was making him hate himself more.

 

Liam rushed back out into his bedroom and pulled his work phone out of his drawer. His personal phone had shattered last night and he needed to call Zayn. Find out where he was. Apologize and fix things. He’d do anything. He couldn’t live without Zayn. He’d forgive the kiss or whatever it was. He had pushed Zayn to that extent anyways. He just wanted him back.

 

The call went to voicemail. Liam tried multiple times. It kept happening. He left Zayn several text messages asking him where he was. Then he called Harry.

 

“Hello?” Harry answered.

 

“Harry. It’s Liam. Is Zayn with you?” Liam asked quickly.

 

“No. He’s been staying with you,” Harry said in alarm. “What happened?”

 

“We had a fight last night… I told him to leave… I don’t know why,” Liam said as he rubbed his face. He had hastily bandaged his hands up and they were dotted red.

 

“Why would you do that?” Harry shouted. “What- what did you fight about?”

 

“He broke up with me. He was saying all these things… saying he kissed someone… I don’t even care right now I just need to know that he’s safe. I need to talk to him,” Liam said.

 

“Oh God. What did he do?” Harry murmured stressfully.

 

“Please let me know if you hear from him. I’m losing my God damn mind.” Liam shut the phone and collapsed on the bed with his head in his hands. He felt something brush his leg and he looked down to see Ray. Liam picked the kitten up and kissed his head.

 

“What the fuck is happening?” Liam murmured.

 

 

**

 

 

“Zayn. Zayn?”

 

He blinked his eyes open and stared at the ceiling. He slowly turned and stared at the door. His mom stood there with worry covering her face.

 

“Harry called for you. I told him you were here, safe. He’s worried. I- I think Liam contacted him. He’s looking for you,” Tricia said.

 

Zayn rolled over in his bed and closed his eyes. He pulled a pillow over his head and blacked out all the noise around him. Safe space didn’t exist anymore. Because Liam wasn’t there anymore.

 

 

**

 

 

Liam tossed back the whiskey. The liquid burned down his throat. But it didn’t help numb his heart. He had been calling Zayn all day. Trying to call his parents. Trying to get any contact. Yaser had eventually texted him to let him know that Zayn didn’t want to talk. That it would be better to give him some space. And that had been another bullet in his body.

 

The living room was still in tatters. Mary had come over earlier and stared in shock but Liam’s cold dismissal ensured she didn’t say anything. And he’d been sitting in the living room like that all evening, drinking and chain smoking. His hand resting against the chain of his Cartier key necklace.

 

Liam heard a beeping sound and looked over wearily. He felt stunned for a moment as Zayn walked in slowly. Liam stood up and looked at the boy, who was staring at the living room in shock. But he quickly schooled his expression and looked at Liam firmly. Zayn’s parents walked in behind him and looked around in shock too. They had awkward and sympathetic expressions on their face. Liam moved towards Zayn slowly and paused.

 

“I’m just here to get my things. I’ll be out of here soon,” Zayn said, clearing his throat.

 

“Zayn-” Liam began.

Zayn turned away and bounded up the stairs. Liam went up after him. He found Zayn in his bedroom grabbing a few of his things which were scattered around, and throwing them in to a bag.

 

“Baby… please,” Liam pleaded. “Let’s talk about this.”

Zayn ignored him and continued to dump things into the bag. Liam watched him in frustration as he moved in stony silence, refusing to meet Liam’s eyes. Zayn entered the bathroom and grabbed the toiletries that he kept here. Throwing a toothbrush, face wash and lotion into his bag. Liam walked in after him and grabbed Zayn’s hand.

 

Zayn tugged his hand away quickly. “Did you forget? Please don’t touch me.”

 

“Alright fine. I’m sorry. But please don’t do this my love. We can work past this. I will beg for your forgiveness for the rest of my life. I’ll make it up to you in any way that I can. I love you, and I know you don’t hate me. How could you? When the love and passion between us is so intense. If you’re angry with me now. I understand. I can even understand how you were pushed to find comfort elsewhere,” Liam tried to reason.

 

Zayn tried to move out of the bathroom, but Liam blocked his path with a hand out. “I can forgive the kiss. I don’t care what you did. I don’t want to know. But I understand. You’ve been going through hell and I can’t expect to know what it feels like. But I’m willing to understand. I’m willing to move past it. Because I can’t imagine my life without you angel. I’d rather not exist. Please, please don’t do this,” Liam begged.

 

“This means nothing to me. I said what I had to say last night. I stand by my words. I don’t feel differently. I don’t want to be with you. I don’t love you anymore. What are you going to tie me down and keep me here?” Zayn asked slowly.

 

Liam moved back a few steps and stared at him. “So that’s it? This is it for us? The first thorn in our path and you’re done?” Liam whispered. “You fall out of love?”

“Yes, Liam. You need to understand that. I can’t be around you, I can’t be with you, I don’t want to be with you, you make me unhappy and anxious. I don’t love you anymore,” Zayn stated simply.

 

Liam gave a slight shaky laugh. “You were the moon of my life. Remember all that? And you called me your sun stars? Your jaan? What ever happened to that? You were my life. My beginning and end. You still are. How do I live without you?”

 

“You’ll have to learn how to. Because I’m done. You’re none of that for me anymore,” Zayn said quietly.

 

Liam felt like he was being stabbed repeatedly and he blinked back tears. His eyes fell to Zayn’s hand holding his bag and he spotted the Cartier bracelet. “And that meant nothing to you? The symbol of our love? When you were kissing someone else or deciding you didn’t love me anymore, that meant nothing?”

 

Zayn looked down at the bracelet and seemed speechless for a few moments. He hastily grabbed it and tried to tug it off. He seemed to have forgotten that it locked onto his wrist. Liam touched the key around his neck and shook his head a little.

 

“I- I can return it. You can unlock it,” Zayn stammered slightly.

 

Liam took the chain off to unlock the bracelet from Zayn’s wrist. His hand paused suddenly. He dropped the key with the chain into Zayn’s outstretched hand and stepped back.

 

“Keep it. That key symbolized me having the key to your heart. I don’t have that anymore. You’re not mine any more. Give it to whoever you decide is worthy of your heart. And by God Zayn, I hope they’re worth it. Because you deserve nothing but the best. You deserve every happiness in this world. You deserve real love, without any baggage. Like you said.” Liam paused and reached out to take Zayn’s hand then remembered that he didn’t want to be touched.

 

“Zayn, I… I love you and I always will. It’s not even a question. And I’ll never forgive myself for bringing all this pain into your life. You were and will always remain my everything. And if I no longer am the same for you… then I hope you find it again one day. Because you deserve love and happiness more than anyone else,” Liam said with tears.

 

Zayn moved past him suddenly and exited the bathroom. Liam gripped the counter to steady himself as he heard Zayn moving around the room, grabbing the rest of his things. The sounds ceased after a while and Liam heard a door close across the second floor, realizing Zayn was in his study room. Then Liam heard footsteps going down the stairs and he realized Zayn was leaving. Not just the house, but he was walking out of his life. He had to see him one last time.

 

Liam walked downstairs and saw Zayn’s parents stood in the entrance of the living room, waiting for Zayn. The boy was kneeling on the ground, hugging Ray and whispering some things. Liam watched him in silent defeat and utter heartbreak. It all felt too surreal and he wanted to pinch himself awake from this night mare. Zayn looked up and saw him and his expression changed. He kissed Ray one more time, then walked over to the entrance. He paused beside Liam, as if he wanted to say something but he looked unsure. Then he started to walk away.

Liam gently grabbed his hand, he was weak and needed one last thing. He hugged Zayn from behind and pressed a lingering kiss to the top of his head. He looked over at Zayn’s parents who seemed upset and confused themselves.

 

“Take care of my angel. He's my everything and I always swore to love him and protect him till the end of my days. And even beyond if that exists. But I don't have that right anymore. So please take care of him for me. And don't ever let another tear fall from his eyes. I know I've caused him insufferable pain and it's going to stay with me for the rest of my life. I lost the one thing that mattered most to me in this world, actually the only thing that mattered to me in this world. And I'll never forgive myself for it. But if he's happier without me then so be it. Just please care for him and make sure that nothing but happiness exists in his life from now on. Never again should a tear fall from these beautiful eyes...  never.” Liam finished saying those words and pressed another kiss to Zayn’s head. He wiped the tears from his eyes to leave the room. He walked up the stairs and into his room to collapse on to his bed. It was the end of everything and he felt like he was already dead inside.

 

 

**

 

 

Zayn stared out the window blankly as they drove through the city. Buildings flew by in a blur but he just stared. He couldn’t think or feel anything. He was numb. An empty shell.

 

“You want to go home beta?” Tricia asked gently from the front seat.

 

“Just drop me off at my dorm,” Zayn replied.

 

“But Zayn… you don’t seem okay... we should talk about this,“ Yaser said.

 

“Drop me at my dorm. Please,” Zayn said firmly.

 

His parents were silent but Zayn knew they were having a telepathic conversation about him. He didn’t care. He wanted to crawl into a pit and die. They reached his dorm shortly and he said goodbye to his parents, telling them not to come up with him. He assured them that he just wanted to be alone. When he walked into his dorm, it was empty. Harry wasn’t there. Zayn threw his bag onto his desk chair and it upheaved a bunch of things on his desk which collapsed to the floor. He bent down to pick the things up when his eye caught something. His hands started to shake as he recognized it and he collapsed to the floor to pick it up.

 

It was the letter Liam had written him back when they had first admitted their love. Liam had teased him with the letter for a few days until Zayn became upset and begged to see it. He remembered the night. It had been a cool summer night, and he had been sitting upset on the roof when Liam had finally approached him with the letter. He had given him an adoring look and pressed multiple kisses to his lips before handing over the letter with an ‘I love you.’ Zayn opened the letter and knew the words without even having to read it. He had memorized it with the amount of times he had read it and cried over it.

 

_Dear Zayn,_

_My love. Trying to write a letter that will measure up to how stunningly poetic the words in your letter were, is very difficult. You and the words you write are an incomparable beauty. Sweetheart, I write this after I've already told you how much I love you and how much you mean to me. But the letter you gave me is an irreplaceable gift and you deserve to have a letter of your own. Think of this as one of the ways I will immortalize my love for you. Ink on paper, words that will last forever. So even when we're long gone from this world, people might find this and they will know what you meant to me. And what you will continue to mean to me long after we are gone because baby, my love for you has no barriers on time or space. It's eternal._

_The luckiest day of my life was when I walked into a cramped high school library to await an assembly where I had to give a speech, much like I was used to. I turned a corner and happened upon the most beautiful person I had ever seen. You lowered that book and I felt like my heart had stopped. Your eyes... your eyes. Hazel with swirls of amber and green. Gilded gold when they shine in the sunlight. That freckle beside your pupil that I adore so much. When the sunlight hit your face and your eyes sparkled, I forgot how to breathe because I remembered something. Back in college one night, Niall had been questioning me as to why I had never fallen in love or planned on falling in love. At that point in my life I never did think I would ever fall in love or want to commit to one person. I had joked that I would fall in love with a golden eyed boy or girl one day. Knowing that was impossible because it didn't exist. But it did. Even if your eyes flashed golden momentarily, I was stunned because I had found that golden eyed boy who I had once joked about. I had fallen in love with you that very moment and I hadn't known it yet._

_Yes, those first few encounters I was doing nothing but mentally fucking you because let's be honest baby, I wanted you more than I needed to breathe. You look like sin wrapped in the packaging of an angel. I wanted to have you under me. I wanted to rip your clothes off your perfect body and kiss every inch of your skin. I wanted to hear you whine and moan. I wanted to see those gorgeous eyes blow open wide in pleasure. I wanted to hear you scream my name. But it wasn't just that. I was so God damn endeared by you._

_It took no longer than that first meeting to notice how sweet, gentle, kind, humble and adorably unaware you were. Then I got to know you, my little Bambi eyes. I got to know your heart. And by God, you stole the ground from beneath my feet, ripped my heart from my chest and made it yours. So instantaneously. When I call you beautiful, I not only mean your outer beauty (which is enough to leave any person stumbling in their steps and gasping for air) but your inner beauty. Never have I met someone with such a clean heart. A beautiful soul. Your kindness, patience, generosity, intelligence, creativity, talent, your pure, gentle nature is overwhelming. It is humbling. I see how you care for everyone around you. And my love, it is a gift to be one of those people. You are a blessing._

_I fell in love with you when I saw you for the first time, I fell in love with you when I saw your beautiful eyes, I fell in love with you when you spoke, I fell in love with you when you smiled that heart shattering smile, I fell in love with you when you sang in your voice like melted gold, I fell in love with you when you were ready to forgive someone who hurt you, I fell in love with you when you let me see your vulnerable side with anxiety, I fell in love with you when you fell asleep on my shoulder, I fell in love with you when you felt guilty about taking my bed, I fell in love with you when you hugged me on the Eiffel Tower, I fell in love with you when you trusted me and opened up to me, I fell in love with you when we kissed in the rain, I fell in love with you when you sang again in Paris, I fell in love with you when you danced with me at the wedding, I fell in love with you when you said you trusted me enough to be your first, I fell in love with you when I made love to you for the first time, I fell in love with you when I thought I lost you in that water, I fell in love with you when I saw your incredible talent at drawing and painting, I fell in love with you when you sang can't help falling in love and told me how you felt in the most perfect way, I fell in love with you when I read your letter and realized you're insanely talented with words as well, beautiful words about your love. I fell in love with you over and over again. And I fall in love with you more and more every day. YOU, Zayn Malik, are the best thing to have ever happened to me and I cannot imagine my life without you or a world where I don't fall so madly, deeply, unconditionally in love with you._

_My baby, my love, my heart, my soul, my life, my angel, my Bambi eyes, my world, my everything. My Zayn. I would do anything for you. I would give my life for you. Your happiness is all that matters and your love is all I need. You are the only thing that matters to me. You teach me to be a better person because that is what you are. An inspiring force. Even if you don't realize it. I've showed you a home, a place that is my future and forever. And my love I hope you see now that you are my future and forever. You and me together, living in that house someday. Our future and forever. I want to sleep with you in my arms every night, and I want to wake up next to you every day and hear your voice first thing. See that smile I adore more than anything in this world first thing every morning. Make love to you every day and kiss that freckle on your thigh that I love. One day I want to take vows with you in front of friends and family and make you mine and me yours in every way. I don't know whether there is life after this world, but your firm faith in God and Heaven makes me believe that maybe it exists. And my love for you will be eternal in whatever afterlife there is as well. I want you in this world and in every world there is. You're my heaven and earth. You're my heart and soul. My end and beginning. My forever and always. And as you say, my jaan till my dying breath. And even beyond._

_Now I'm not talented enough like you to write an entire poem. But I'm going to end my letter with one of my favorite short poems by Spike Milligan:_

**_"If I could write words_ **

**_Like leaves on an autumn forest floor,_ **

**_What a bonfire my letters would make._ **

****

**_If I could speak words of water,_ **

**_You would drown when I said_ **

**_'I love you.' "_ **

_Yours forever,_

_Liam._

 

Zayn stared and stared at the words he knew by heart. He let his tears coat the page. And as he read ‘Yours Forever, Liam’ for the hundredth time, the letter fluttered to the ground from his hands. He heard a wretched scream coming from somewhere close by and he distantly wondered who it was. Then it dawned on him that he was the one screaming dreadfully as he lay curled up on the ground. His body rocking with endless sobs.

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides* I don't know what to say except I'm sorry? And please don't hate me. The fic is not over, don't stress. But it's a rough road for a while and I'm offering hugs :( 
> 
> I'll try my best to not be too long with the next chapter but I find minimum time to write these days if I'm not exhausted, but I don't like taking more than two weeks so I'll try my best to be fast I promise. Thank you for always being so sweet and supportive. I love you guys <3
> 
> Urdu translation:  
> -chai: tea  
> -The song lyrics Zayn sings while Liam is sleeping:  
> How will I live? Please tell me, how will I live without you. There's a world out there which is just mine and yours, I want to take you there, so that no one can take you away from me. I want to keep you in my eyes and never open them so that no one can take you away from me. I'm surrounded by darkness, please come show me the morning light. I'm a lost/wandering traveller, please come take me home.


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Hope you're all well! Life is all over the place and I'm sorry for the delay but at this point scheduled updates are difficult because of work and life but I do apologize for taking so long! Last chapter was intense and a lot of you guys were understandably upset and I do apologize. But I have been giving many warnings for the heavy angst so you can avoid the next couple of chapters if it isn't your cup of tea. I hope people won't abandon because like I've said before it is a happy ending. That being said, this chapter is VERY angsty and kind of uncomfortable in bits so be careful if you get anxious easily. Well this could be a warning for the next few chapters. And finally as always, I am so so SO grateful for you guys that at this point, at this milestone of hitting 20 chapters and being close to 1000 kudos I have run out of words to express my thanks. Thank you for being so kind, supportive and wonderful. This fic has come a long way. Thank you lovely people. I love you. Now I hope you enjoy :)

 

 

_“1001 Interesting Facts to Nourish your Brain?”_

_“To nourish_ your _brain.”_

_“Thank you! I love it!”_

_Zayn crawled up the back off the sofa and threw his arms around Liam, balancing his knees on the back rest of the sofa. Liam grinned and kissed the top of his head while wrapping his arms around Zayn’s lower back._

_“Well, before my meeting Ameera and I killed some time by shopping and I thought to myself, what do I get my baby? Hermes backpack or a book from this little bookstore? I knew what you’d like and then I saw this.” Liam cupped Zayn’s face and kissed his scrunched nose. Zayn was smiling ridiculously bright._

_“You know me so well.” Zayn beamed and leaned up to kiss Liam._

_“Of course I do. But then again, I don’t really need to decide on one.” Liam smirked a little and leaned down to pick up a bag with Hermes written on the front. Zayn looked at him in surprise and peeked in the bag to look at the leather backpack wrapped in tissue paper._

_“I hate you. You’re so extra.” Zayn laughed in surprise and hugged Liam tightly, kissing him all over his face._

_“Only for you angel,” Liam murmured with a smile and kissed Zayn’s soft, smiling lips._

_“Did you know… An eagle is able to kill a baby deer and fly off with it?”_

_Liam looked up from his desk to where Zayn sat on the sofa in his home office. His mouth hung open slightly, his eyes wide and bright. He looked up from his book and smiled at Liam. He had been sitting in Liam’s home office for the past half hour reading the book Liam had bought him, while Liam worked._

_“Isn’t that crazy?” Zayn wondered as he flipped the shiny, crisp page._

_“That’s kind of fucked up,” Liam said._

_“Oh my God,” Zayn gasped. “Woolly mammoths were still around when the pyramids were being built.” Zayn looked up in shock and Liam smiled at him._

_“I know,” Liam replied._

_“I already know this, but did you know that Abraham Lincoln and J.F.K not only had parallels in their lives and presidency but also in their deaths? Like eerie similarities in their assassination. Like both were accompanied by their wives and another couple, both were assassinated by white males in their 30s from buildings they were employed in, both assassins were killed before their trials, both their bodyguards were named William and so much more.” Zayn shook his head in awe._

_“I know that too,” Liam said with a small smile._

_“How do you know?” Zayn asked._

_“Don’t underestimate me so much baby. I did get a 3.9 GPA_ ,” Liam answered with a raised brow.

 

_“What? Really? How come I didn’t know this?” Zayn questioned in surprise._

_“Dang, did I forget to bring a resume to our first date?” Liam looked up from his laptop and smirked at Zayn who gave him an unamused look._

_“I wonder how Karen and Geoff, who are the sweetest people ever, gave birth to such a sarcastic son.” Zayn pushed his glasses up his nose haughtily and looked back down at his book. Liam chuckled and shook his head._

 

_“Jaan,” Zayn said after a moment. “Did you know… sea otters hold hands at night while sleeping so that they don’t drift away from each other? How sweet!” Zayn cooed._  


_“You sleep on top of me so that you don’t drift away. That’s sweeter,” Liam joked. Zayn flung a cushion from across the room and Liam caught it easily, winking at Zayn afterwards._

_“Shaytan,” Zayn muttered._

_“I love that you love the little things. That random facts like this put such a huge smile on your face. You’re a sweetheart. And the cutest,” Liam said, smiling softly at Zayn._

_Zayn pinked a little in the cheeks and fiddled with his glasses. Then he tucked the book under his arm and walked over to Liam to settle into his lap. “Do you want to know another interesting one?” Zayn asked gently as he ran his fingers against Liam’s scruff._

_“Tell me,” Liam prompted and lightly caught Zayn’s wrist to kiss all over the velvet smooth skin._

_“Penguins mate for life. And if one gets lost, they spend the rest of their life searching for each other,” Zayn whispered. Liam smiled and cupped the back of Zayn’s head to kiss his lips a couple of times._

_“If I ever get lost… will… will you come looking for me?” Zayn asked with no hint of humor in his tone._

_“Of course I would. I wouldn’t rest until I had you back in my arms,” Liam replied and kissed Zayn’s forehead while rubbing his thumb across his jawline._

_“We’re penguin mates,” Zayn concluded with a beautiful smile._

_“My penguin.” Liam grinned and kissed all over Zayn’s face._

_Zayn gasped in surprise as Liam lifted him onto the desk and took a hold of his face to kiss him. “I love you.” Zayn laughed breathlessly._

_“I love you too angel,” Liam murmured and ducked his head to start kissing along Zayn’s neck as the boy sighed in pleasure._

Liam ran his finger along the spine of the interesting facts book he had bought Zayn, what seemed like ages ago now. He felt numb. Zayn’s laughter rung in his ears, his soft sounds of pleasure haunted him consistently, and his whispered confessions of love pained him every second. Had he just woken from a nightmare? Because there was no other explanation for the hell he was existing in. Liam dropped the book back onto the shelf and turned to look out the window behind his desk. He raised the bottle of vodka in his hand and drank it straight from the bottle. No chaser. Nothing to mix it with. It felt like nothing.

 

Liam walked out of his office and wandered down to his destroyed living room, which had yet to be fixed up. He sat down in front of the piano and ran his fingers over the keys. The sound was haunting in the still apartment. It felt wrong to be sitting here. He had bought this for Zayn. Whenever Zayn had stayed over, he would sit in front of the piano for an hour at times and practice songs he had forgotten and then memorize them quickly. Sometimes when they were relaxing and having a quiet night in, Zayn would play specifically for him. And no matter what he played, he’d always end with ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’ making Liam burst with inconceivable amounts of love. Rendering him speechless and drowned in adoration for the boy he loved so much, so _ridiculously_ much, that he would have burst into flames on command if asked.

 

“What have you done bambi eyes? What have you done to us?” Liam whispered. He dropped his head against the piano and closed his eyes.

 

 

**

 

 

_“You were my life… my beginning and end. How do I live without you?”_

 

Those words were haunting him. Zayn clicked and unclicked the lock on the Cartier bracelet. He wore the chain around his own neck now which reminded him constantly of his devastation. It was dark. He lay in a blanket of darkness in his dorm room. Deliriously out cried. His mind blank.

 

The door creaked open and harsh yellow light from the hall poured in. Zayn continued to stare at the ceiling as the light flicked on and the door closed. “Zayn,” a soft voice said. Zayn continued staring at the ceiling. “Zayn. Oh babe, what have you done?”

 

A hand gripped his and something wet covered it. Tears. He was all out of those. “Please talk to me Zay.” Zayn turned his head to the side when a hand touched his face, he saw a teary-eyed Harry sitting beside him. Gazing at him in shock and confusion.

 

“What about?” Zayn asked.

 

“What about- Zayn. You broke up with Liam? Your mom called me. She told me everything. You… you kissed Maheer?” Harry gazed at him, speechless. “Why darling? You love Liam so fucking much. I know you better than anyone on this God damn planet. I know you don’t blame Liam or hate him. So tell me why you did all this, or said you did. What the fuck is going on? Why are you breaking your own heart?”

 

“Heartbreak,” Zayn murmured. “You know why they call it heartbreak? Because it feels like your heart is shattering into a million and one pieces. And not just once. But over and over and over again. Until you know nothing else but the feeling of that soul consuming pain. Heart-” Zayn paused as his tears welled up again and his voice choked. He thumped his fist lightly over his chest. “Heart _crushing_ pain.”

 

“Babe,” Harry whispered tearfully. He gathered Zayn into his arms who let out a gutted sob and broke down again, weeping openly in Harry’s lap.

 

 

**

 

 

“Liam Payne!”

 

“Liam fucking Payne where have you-“

 

“Liam.”

 

The two different voices invading his apartment caused his head to throb. Liam looked up from where he sat leaning against the floor to ceiling windows. They were chilly from the cold weather outside and it seeped into his spine.

 

“Liam. What the fuck is this.”

 

Liam blew a large cloud of cigarette smoke to the side and gazed at Niall and Ameera with an empty expression. “What do you want?” Liam asked.

 

“What do we want? Yeah, fuck us for being worried about you. You haven’t been answering your phone and Harry texted me asking me how you were, because apparently, you and Zayn broke up? What the fuck man?” Niall’s voice was shocked.

 

“Well informed,” Liam said icily. He closed his eyes and took a long drag.

 

“Liam-” Niall started.

 

“Niall. Stop. Go call someone to clean this up,” Ameera ordered. Niall sighed and disappeared out of the living room. Liam gave Ameera a brief glance as she picked her way through the broken glass to come kneel in front of him.

 

“Liam.” Ameera touched his knee and searched his face. “Talk to me.”

 

“He left. What’s there to say?” Liam asked. “You guys can leave too. I’m fine.”

 

“This is not fine Li. This is… what happened?” Ameera questioned.

 

“He hates me for everything he’s been through. I don’t blame him. It’s my fault. Oh and get this, I drove him to fall out of love with me and hate me to the extent that he found comfort with none other than the bodyguard I hired for him and he kissed him.” Liam laughed dryly. “Fucking amazing.”

 

“Maheer?” Ameera asked disbelievingly. She sighed and rubbed a hand down her face. “Fuck. What the fuck.”

 

“Yeah,” Liam muttered and stubbed his cigarette out against the marbled floor. “What the fuck indeed.”

 

“Liam, I can’t… I don’t know what to say. And I won’t undermine your feelings by telling you to feel better because I know how much you loved Zayn… _love_ Zayn… and I can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through. But did you try talking to Zayn to see what’s causing all this? I know that boy loves you so much,” Ameera reasoned.

 

“Not anymore. And if you don’t believe it, you can ask Zayn to repeat everything he said to me. Let’s see if you crack faster than I did,” Liam told her.

 

“He didn’t really say that he blames you or hates you. Zayn wouldn’t,” Ameera murmured.

 

“Crack open my heart and see the scars those words left behind and maybe you’ll believe it,” Liam scoffed.

 

“You’re drunk,” Ameera sighed.

 

“I pay you well for your sharp observational skills,” Liam snorted and got up from the ground to go fall onto the sofa.

 

“Some people will be here soon to clean this up,” Niall said as he walked back in. He paused, taking in the tense environment, then sat down beside Liam. “Li. What’s going on?”

 

“Ameera can give you a summary,” Liam murmured and rubbed a hand down his face. “I’d like to be alone… so please…”

 

“Liam. Don’t be like this,” Niall started. “Talk to us.”

 

“I’ve asked nicely. Do you guys need to be told to fuck off as well?” Liam asked, feeling anger spike. He didn’t want to talk about anything. He didn’t want to reason. He didn’t need sympathy. He hated himself enough for causing this disaster. And he just wanted to drown.

 

“I’m not going to let you fall into that dark pit again Li,” Niall said as he glanced at the empty liquor bottles. “You’re not going to do this to yourself.”

 

“Watch.” Liam got up and walked up the stairs onto the roof, locking the door behind himself. He couldn’t deal with a single thing right now. He dug out a bottle of something from behind his rooftop bar, he didn’t even care what it was, and collapsed onto a chair to continue drinking.

 

 

**

 

 

“Did you sleep at all?”

 

Zayn looked up from his position on the bed as he stared down at his phone. He had unconsciously grabbed it from under his pillow expecting to read Liam’s usual ‘good morning angel’ text. But nothing. The first morning of being properly apart from Liam and he wished he was dead already. He couldn’t do this.

 

“No,” Zayn replied quietly.

 

“Zayn… I know you said you didn’t want to be with Liam because of everything. But can you tell me that you honestly considered being with someone else and… and kissed them? I’ve been thinking all night and Zay that doesn’t sound like you. You’re the most loyal, loving person I know,” Harry said.

 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Zayn replied and collapsed back on the bed.

 

“Okay. I understand. Are you going to class?” Harry asked as he pulled his shirt on.

 

“No.” Zayn rolled over in bed and buried his head under his pillow.

 

“Okay babe,” Harry said softly. “I’ll be back after my morning class and I’ll bring you food.”

 

Zayn didn’t reply and closed his eyes tightly. He hadn’t slept in 48 hours. His body was plain exhausted. His mind was delirious. His throat scratchy. His eyes dry. His body shaky from low blood sugar. His whole body run down from panic attacks. But he couldn’t sleep. He wanted to be in Liam’s arms, inhaling his calming scent and feeling his warmth. Falling asleep against his strong chest. But he didn’t have that anymore. He never would. And he’d probably never sleep again.

 

_“Baby…”_

_Zayn smiled but turned his expression neutral so Liam wouldn’t know he was awake. He wanted to relish the kisses Liam was ravishing across his body. “Wake up beautiful,” Liam murmured._

_Zayn faked a sleepy groan and turned his face further into the pillow. Liam had pushed away the sheets and then pushed Zayn’s shirt up his torso to kiss along his stomach. “Mmmph,” Zayn mumbled._

_“I know you’re faking it you little liar,” Liam said in a deep voice, rough in the early hours. “Wake up angel and show me your pretty eyes.” He pressed tickling kisses up Zayn’s ribs one by one._

_Zayn sighed dramatically and groaned. “I’m sleeping.”_

_“Oh really?” Liam asked with a laugh. He tickled his fingers along Zayn’s sides making the boy gasp and shake with laughter. “I knew it,” Liam said and pressed a messy kiss to Zayn’s cheek. “Knew it. You’re so dramatic.”_

_Zayn grinned sleepily and turned around to let Liam drag him into his arms. Liam rubbed Zayn’s exposed, goose-bump ridden skin and pressed his lips to the side of Zayn’s face. He kept pressing lazy kisses along the skin, going from longer ones to short pecks till his lips just lingered there._

_“I love waking up next to you. Like this,” Zayn said softly. “Just as much as I love sleeping in your arms. I always sleep better with you.”_  


_“So you can hold onto me like a sea otter?” Liam teased._

_“You’re horrible. So, so horrible,” Zayn grumbled while pouting._

_Liam laughed and rolled over so he could press Zayn into the mattress and kiss every inch of his face and neck. “I’ll always be here to sleep next to you and wake up next to you, because truth is I sleep better with you in my arms too. I love you so much you beautiful angel.” Liam kissed his brow as Zayn smiled gently. “My heart… my love… my everything… my precious little seat otter.” Liam said every word with a kiss to the high points of Zayn’s face. Zayn giggled as Liam said the otter part and turned his face to melt into another kiss._

“Always… always… never again.” Zayn took a shaky breath and curled up into a small ball, trying to replicate the warm cocoon Liam’s arms always provided. But the air around him was empty of warmth. And devoid of oxygen too.

 

“Not only do I have to learn to live without my heart and soul. But I have to learn to live without the simple things like sleeping in your arms. Maybe I don’t deserve sleep after I broke your heart,” Zayn whispered shakily

 

He lifted the sleeve of Liam’s hoodie to his nose and froze for a second. He couldn’t smell Liam’s scent. Liam’s comforting scent was gone. He had lost his safe space in Liam’s arms and now the one thing left to calm his anxiety was gone too. It smelt like him now and no longer Liam. Zayn felt his throat close up and he clenched his eyes shut. He had not calculated how much destruction the little things would cause to his heart. A frantic thought occurred to him. He tumbled from the bed and yanked on his shoes hastily before running out of his room.

 

 

**

 

 

A soft, warm ball rubbed against his leg and Liam looked down to see Ray. The tiny kitten was rubbing against his leg as if he could sense the despair. Liam reached down and scooped the kitten up against his chest.

 

“What’s up little guy?” Liam murmured tiredly. Ray gave a small yawn and purred as he nuzzled Liam’s bare chest. Liam was sprawled across his bed, after not having slept all night. His head throbbed painfully with all the alcohol he had consumed. But the pain didn’t compare to the one that rattled his heart.

 

“I know Zayn always gets you your breakfast but we have to find other ways to survive buddy. Let’s go.” He did not want to get up from the bed or do anything but Ray needed to be fed. And he loved the kitten, despite the memories now attached to him. Liam walked into the kitchen with Ray in his arm and stopped when he saw Ameera and Mary having a hushed conversation.

 

“It seems that people don’t understand the concept of leaving me alone. Should I get my security codes changed?” Liam said irritably. Both women looked guilty and sympathetic which had Liam reeling in annoyance. He didn’t want to see this.

 

“I thought I’d accompany you to work,” Ameera said cautiously.

 

“Not going in today,” Liam replied as he filled Ray’s bowl with food.

 

“But Liam, you have the meeting with the planning committee for Vegas today. It’s a big deal…” Ameera said slowly. Then she gave him a small smile. “You know what, it’s fine. Me and Niall will handle it. I’ll have Tiana and Anil run the presentation for the committee.”

 

Liam ran a hand down his face and pushed back the urge to scream. Vegas. His biggest project, his dream project. He couldn’t fuck it up. He owed it to himself and his team not to fuck it up. Plus, that would give Max another satisfaction. He’d get to see Liam destroy the project they had both bid on. As much as his soul was crushed and he wanted to fade away, he needed to push through.

 

“I’ll be there. I just need to shower and change,” Liam declared.

 

“I’ll make some coffee and breakfast for you, and Patrick is ready to take you to work,” Mary said gently.

 

Liam nodded shortly and left the room. The idea of existing seemed hard right now let alone showing up at work.

 

 

**

 

Zayn burst through his dorm room door and ignored Harry and Louis who jumped up as he ran in.

 

“Where have you been?” Harry asked frantically. “I’ve been worried sick and you left your phone here too!”

 

Zayn ignored him, an urgency pumping through his veins. He threw the bags in his hands onto the ground and grabbed a hoodie of Liam’s he had left on the bed. He sat on the ground with the soft red hoodie in his hands and tugged open the bags.

 

“Zayn… what… what the hell is going on?” Louis asked in shock.

 

“It doesn’t smell like Liam anymore. I need it to smell like Liam,” Zayn stuttered. He pulled out a bottle of Tom Ford cologne from his shopping bag and ripped open the packaging.

 

“Were you… gone shopping?” Harry asked bewilderedly.

 

“He wears this cologne. I can’t- I need it… I need it to smell like Liam. I can’t.” Zayn was tearful and totally disconnected from reality. He pulled out the glass bottle of the cologne and started spraying the hoodie.

 

“Babe, what the fuck are you doing?” Harry asked and grabbed his hand.

 

“I need it to smell like Liam!” Zayn yelled. “It doesn’t smell like him anymore and I can’t sleep so I had to go buy this!” He lifted the hoodie and inhaled. It was wrong. The sharp smell of the freshly sprayed cologne was there which reminded him a little of Liam. But it was still completely wrong. It had Zayn’s scent on it too now and something else sickly sweet, probably from Harry’s candles that were always burning in the room.

 

“He- he has this body wash… it’s some French brand… I don’t know where to get it… maybe if I was able to combine that,” Zayn cried in panic and waved the hoodie slightly to air it out.

 

“Jesus Christ. Zayn, stop. Stop this.” Harry tugged the hoodie away and wrapped his arms around Zayn to hug him tightly. “ _You_ broke up with him Zee. _You_ didn’t want to be with him. So what is this? What are you doing?”

 

“I can’t do it Harry. I can’t be apart from him. It hurts so fucking much!” Zayn soaked Harry’s shirt with his frantic and miserable tears. “I can’t sleep. I can’t breathe. I can’t – can’t do anything right now.”

 

“Zayn… if you regret your decision then just call Liam up. He’ll understand. You can fix this. Niall said Liam is miserable right now so he’ll take you back in a heartbeat,” Harry said soothingly.

 

“Not after the things I said. Because I can’t tell him the truth,” Zayn replied in a shattered tone.

 

“Zayn,” Louis said softly and rubbed his back. “What’s this truth? Because looking at you so broken doesn’t seem like you left Liam because you hated him or kissed someone else. So please tell us what’s going on.”

 

“I can’t,” Zayn whispered and pulled away from Harry. “Something could happen to Liam.”

 

“What?” Harry and Louis both looked confused.

 

Zayn pulled the hoodie over his body regardless of the failed attempt at making it smell like Liam. He carefully placed the cologne bottle on his desk then sank onto his bed on shaky legs. He saw spots in front of his eyes and covered his face.

 

“Babe please, please stop keeping whatever it is that’s paining you to yourself. Please tell me what’s going on,” Harry begged.

 

Zayn looked up defeated, delirious and feeling a little sick. He sighed and took Harry’s hand to place it over his own heart. He squeezed the other boy’s hand and gave him a shaky smile. “Swear on my life this doesn’t leave this room? Blood oath?” Zayn referred to a silly term he and Harry had come up with when they were a bunch of eight year olds. Blood oath to their younger selves had meant a solemn swear that no matter what secret they told each other, the other couldn’t tell anyone else. No matter what. It had never failed and they continued to use it jokingly, and seriously.

 

“Blood oath,” Harry echoed.

 

“Max and Jason threatened that if I didn’t break Liam’s heart, they would cause him physical harm,” Zayn whispered with his eyes trained down.

 

“What?”

 

“What the fuck?”

 

Louis and Harry both exclaimed in surprise. Zayn looked up, having forgotten Louis was there, and gave the boy a look. “You can’t tell anyone either Louis. Or I’ll never forgive you. They’ve made actual attempts to hurt Liam. Like the other day that accident on the construction site.”

 

“Zayn! You did all this because of some fucked up threats those deranged motherfuckers made?” Harry shouted in frustration.

 

“I’m literally not going to discuss this any further because it was the toughest decision of my life and it’s killing me. It’s going to kill me dead. But if you tell Liam, or anyone, I will disappear. I’m not even fucking with you. Take that as a threat if you want,” Zayn said.

 

“Zayn-” Louis started.

 

“Liam’s life and safety is more important to me than anything. Breaking my own heart to ensure his safety is something I would do ten times over. He’s my everything. And this way, those fucked up bastards will stay away from him. Liam will get over me. He probably hates me now so it shouldn’t be too hard.” Zayn crawled under his sheets and closed his eyes.

 

“You need to tell someone. The police for example,” Harry said desperately.

 

“You think he can’t cause Liam harm from a jail cell? I’ve thought this over more than you have in these few seconds. And this is the last time I’ll ever discuss it. I love you guys to death but do _not_ interfere in this. Liam’s life is at cost and I won’t let anyone or anything cause even the slightest chance of him getting hurt.” Zayn rolled over in his bed and gripped the Cartier chain around his neck.

 

“Why would you do this to yourself Zayn? Why not tell Liam and risk something happening? But at least you wouldn’t be hurting,” Louis said.

 

“You’ve never been in love so you won’t understand. When it happens to you one day, when you fall in unconditional, all-consuming love, come back to me and tell me if you’d risk that person’s life or instead do anything to keep them safe,” Zayn murmured softly. “And I pray from the bottom of my heart that you never have to face such a situation.”

 

“You don’t deserve any of this,” Harry said tearfully. “Where did things go so wrong?”

 

Zayn couldn’t find it in himself to reply without triggering a massive panic attack and going manic. So he kept his eyes closed and pulled his comforter over his head to black everything out.

 

**

 

Liam pushed through the crowded dance floor, the pounding music and sweaty bodies dancing around him all a blur. He went up the stairs to the VIP floor and nodded at the bouncer who said, ‘evening boss,’ and moved aside to let him through. He walked across the floor and gave short nods to people who called out to him. He walked up the second set of stairs to his private lounge and entered the code to walk in. A couple of his friends were there already, with drinks and a thick cloud of smoke around them.

 

“Liam,” Tom said. Everyone seemed to silence and just stared at him. Liam ignored them all and fell down beside Miguel, pulling the joint from his fingers and taking a long drag.

 

“Don’t you have anything stronger?” Liam muttered and threw his head back as he blew smoke upwards.

 

“Liam you-” Niall started but Liam tossed him a hard look.

 

“Unclench Niall,” Liam replied and got up to pour himself a drink.

 

“Li… we know you’re going through some shit man. It was hard to believe that Zayn would do something like that. But you can’t torture yourself like this,” Tom said cautiously.

 

“Don’t. I let you guys in here but that doesn’t mean I need you giving your opinions about my life,” Liam said with a clenched jaw.

 

“Yeah but you can still talk to us. Don’t keep it in. What happened to Zayn was awful but what he did to you was kinda fucked up as well. It’s those quiet ones you can’t be sure about,” Gabe said.

 

“Shut the fuck up Gabe,” Liam whirled around angrily and gave the man a poisonous glare. “Don’t you dare, don’t any of you _fucking dare_ say anything about Zayn. He’s not at fault so keep him out of your mouths.”

“I- I’m sorry,” Gabe said slowly.

 

“Relax Li. We’re just worried about you,” Niall tried to calm him.

 

“I’m touched,” Liam muttered and poured himself another drink. He held out his hand to Miguel to take the joint back.

 

“That boy was your undoing,” Miguel murmured as he gazed at Liam, sympathy on his face.

 

Liam ignored him. His friends had slowly started up their conversations again, so Liam leaned his head back and let his mind empty completely.

 

 

**

 

“Bambi eyes...”

 

Zayn looked up at the nickname in a hazy state and saw Harry looking at something with a furrowed brow. He looked at Zayn awkwardly and opened his palm to reveal the Hublot watch Liam had given him.

 

“Sorry… was reading the inscription,” Harry apologized. “Liam never did anything half-assed. Hublot watch with the full inscription. I wonder how much it cost.”

 

Zayn felt a pang of guilt hit his body and he pushed away his covers to sit up and take the watch from Harry. He ran his finger over the inscription and felt his heart ache. Liam had given him this watch after his first one, given to him the night of Josh’s wedding reception, had gotten ruined in the water at the Hampton’s house. Liam has truly never held back from going all out with romance and things he gifted Zayn. And Zayn had ripped his heart out. Looking at these expensive gifts now made him nauseous.

 

“I- I need to return all these things to him. Some of these gifts are thousands of dollars. I shouldn’t keep these now that we’re no longer together,” Zayn whispered.

 

“Babe. Liam wouldn’t want these back. He’s not like that. He loves you,” Harry said.

 

“Yes but I feel sick holding onto these. It doesn’t feel right,” Zayn murmured.

 

“Do you want me to take them to him for you?” Harry asked.

 

“No… I will. I- I need to ask him something,” Zayn said, his heart racing. He knew he couldn’t avoid Liam forever. It had been a week since the night he had shattered Liam’s heart and walked out. With each passing second, he became more numb and felt less alive. Not to mention the fact that he had developed insomnia and hadn’t slept a wink.

 

“Should I come with?” Harry stroked his hair soothingly.

 

“No, it’s fine. You have a test today. Not all of us should start flunking,” Zayn said.

 

“You’re not flunking either. Yet. And you’re going through a lot anyways so it’s understandable,” Harry said.

 

“Yeah well… anyways I’ll take everything to Liam today. He’s probably at work so that will be easier than his apartment,” Zayn sighed.

 

“You asked me not to give you my opinion on things so I won’t say what I really want to say. But call me if you need anything,” Harry offered.

 

“Thanks, Haz,” Zayn said with a flicker of gratitude. Harry and Louis had stopped trying to convince him to tell Liam everything. They had realized Zayn wouldn’t budge and just continued to offer emotional support. Zayn felt incredibly thankful for them. Otherwise in the darkness of his despair he couldn’t trust what he would have done.

 

“I love you. You’ll get through this.” Harry hugged him and kissed his forehead before he shouldered his backpack and left for the day.

 

Zayn picked up his phone and checked to see his missed calls from his parents. He texted them back saying he was in class so as not to worry them. Then he gathered everything Liam had given him and put it into a box. The only thing he kept was the Afreen Afreen painting on his wall because his heart couldn’t bear to pull it down. And Liam wouldn’t need it anyways. Lastly, with an incredible burst of pain he unlocked the Cartier bracelet and with teary eyes he placed it into the box with the key.

 

“Thank you jaan,” Zayn whispered. “Thank you for everything.” He checked his phone for the time, knowing Liam would be in his office now. If he showed up that is. Zayn touched his lock screen picture (of himself and Liam) tenderly, then slipped the phone into the box too. Liam had also given him that phone and he felt wrong keeping it just like everything else, when he had crushed the man who had given it to him. Zayn lifted the box, feeling anxiety rise, and left.

 

 

**

 

The cab pulled up in front of the gleaming skyscraper that was ‘Payne Corporations.’ Zayn took a shaky breath and paid the driver before lifting the box and climbing out. His heart was thundering and he was just about ready to throw up on the sidewalk. People pushed past him and Zayn stuttered out an apology. He made his way to the door but stopped as his eyes locked on a small group smoking near the side of the building. Niall looked over momentarily and paused when he saw Zayn. His face filled with confusion and there was something hard in his eyes. Zayn felt panicked. Clearly Niall knew, and also hated him. Zayn saw Tom staring at him too. The others in the group were strangers and Zayn took a shaky breath before hurrying in. The security guard recognized him and smiled at him.

 

“Here to see Mr. Payne?” The man joked as he let Zayn through the security check. Zayn smiled weakly and hurried forward as other employees tapped their cards and rushed through. He was jostled into the elevator and he leaned against the back wall taking deep breaths. An anxiety attack was not needed now. Zayn whispered a prayer to keep himself calm and gripped the box tightly. The elevator emptied slowly, until finally, he was the only one riding to the 50th floor.

 

When the doors opened, Zayn inhaled sharply and stepped out on shaky legs. “Please, please Allah give me strength.” Zayn gulped as a rock settled in his throat.

 

_‘Baby you’re breaking my heart.’_

Liam’s heartbreaking words from that night echoed in his ears as he rounded the corner into the foyer. He saw Rosie behind the desk and she smiled at him. She either didn’t know just yet or was just really professional.

 

“H-hi Rosie. Is Liam in?” Zayn asked in a choked voice.

 

“He sure is. Go on in,” Rosie replied.

 

Zayn nodded and walked unsteadily towards the door. For some odd reason, something Liam had once said rang in his mind and Zayn wanted to laugh at the irony. Liam had once told him that not only did Zayn have bambi eyes, but he also walked like bambi on new legs. All shaky unsteady legs. He wanted to laugh because he had been unsteady since parting from Liam. He remembered when he had first started working here and Liam was flirting religiously with him. Zayn was constantly nervous and panicked especially when coming into Liam’s office. He wanted the man so much he had always felt unsteady. Now it was out of fear. He was about to face the man whose heart he had broken for the first time. Zayn breathed deeply and knocked lightly. He heard a muffled reply and he pushed open the heavy door to peer in. When he walked in, he saw Liam facing the window and talking into his phone. More like arguing.

 

“I don’t give a fuck! Do what’s told or you can find yourself off this project!” Liam barked. Something icy pricked Zayn’s skin and he held himself still, not even daring to breathe.

 

“Climb out of his fucking ass and take a good look at yourself. Your worthless presence is not needed on this project. I can replace you in an instant, especially if you risk my company like this. Finish up the plans and have them to me by this afternoon. Or you’ll see what I’m capable of.” Liam shut the phone and whirled around. He looked taken aback when he saw Zayn. Like he had seen a ghost. Zayn took a deep breath and blinked at Liam.

 

“Zayn…” Liam said slowly. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I- I have something,” Zayn began as he walked forward. And because he was born cursed, he tripped on the first step up to Liam’s desk and went sprawling to the ground. The box in his hands spilling everything out.

 

“Zayn!” Liam hurried over and knelt by him. He reached forward in concern, then pulled his hand back as he seemed to remember something. “You okay?”

 

“Fine,” Zayn mumbled with embarrassment coursing through him.

 

Liam had started picking things up and he slowed down when he noticed what it was. His brow furrowed and then his face hardened. He looked down at the velvet box in his hand which held the silver-plated gold nose ring he had given Zayn after the boy had gotten his nose pierced. Liam cracked a dry smile, then shook his head as he stood up.

 

“Why are you here Zayn?” Liam asked as he sat onto his chair and started typing away on his laptop. Zayn watched as Liam lifted a lit cigarette from an ashtray and took a drag. As he blew the smoke out, he looked up and met Zayn’s eyes, waiting for an answer. There was a shielded expression on his face, not giving anything away. The cold, dead look in Liam’s eyes made Zayn’s body shiver violently.

 

“I-I-I…” Zayn stammered awfully and bit his tongue to get it under control. He gulped and took a breath before setting the box he held down onto Liam’s desk. “I- I c-came to return these things to you. S-stuff you bought… I obviously c-can’t keep it.” Zayn clenched his hands so tightly that his knuckles turned white. When he met Liam’s eyes, the man was staring at him unblinking.

 

Liam broke the staring contest with a sigh and pinched his forehead. He stubbed his cigarette out violently. Looking up at Zayn, Liam shook his head a little. “Those things are yours. They aren’t mine to take back.”

 

“Yes but… most of these things are very expensive and I don’t des- don’t feel right keeping them anymore,” Zayn said in a low voice.

 

“Baby,” Liam started and stopped himself. “Sorry. Zayn… I gave every single one of those things to you out of love. Not as some down payment on our relationship or for you to borrow. I bought every single thing with you on my mind and they were always yours. Still are even if we’re… we’re no longer together.”

 

“Liam… I can’t keep this stuff, which probably accumulates to somewhere over $30,000, when I- I left you. It isn’t right. So please,” Zayn tried to sound stern and pushed the box a little forward.

 

“Burn it if you want. Burn it to ashes, but I’m not taking it back because it isn’t mine.” Liam’s voice was tight and he lit up another cigarette before turning to his laptop with a frustrated expression.

 

“Liam…” Zayn said shakily.

 

“Zayn.” Liam looked up with steeliness in his eyes. “Take it back or watch me fling it from the window. If you have any respect for the relationship and love we had then you’ll know that this stuff I gave to you was never mine to take back. I love you...” Liam’s voice withered and he rubbed a hand down his face. “I’m not taking it back.”

 

“Fine.” Zayn grabbed the box with tears stinging his eyes and he turned around quickly so Liam wouldn’t see him fall apart for the millionth time. He was about to leave when he paused as he remembered the other reason he had dragged himself here.

 

“C-can I ask you for one thing? I’ll be extremely grateful if you say yes. But I’ll understand if you say no,” Zayn whispered.

 

“What is it?” Liam asked. Zayn blinked back his tears and turned around slowly.

 

“Can I… can I come see Ray?” Zayn asked softly.

 

“Today?” Liam questioned.

 

“Umm… from time to time. If- if you’re okay with it,” Zayn stuttered and blinked at Liam slowly.

 

“You know that I wouldn’t prevent you from seeing Ray. I got him _for_ you. I know you love him. If you wanted to… you can have him live somewhere else if you’re not comfortable coming over to my place,” Liam offered with a rough edge to his voice.

 

Zayn felt broken. “I couldn’t do that. He’s just as much yours as he is mine. I can’t take him away from you. Besides… where would I keep him? I just… I would appreciate it if I could come visit him occasionally,” Zayn added quietly.

 

Liam nodded and picked up a glass of something dark to toss it back. Zayn felt alarmed and wondered why Liam was drinking at work. His body ached to run forward and throw himself into Liam’s arms and spill the truth. Have the man cover him in kisses and hold him tightly. The feeling of emptiness and loneliness was suffocating him like hands around his throat. He’d always said he couldn’t breathe without Liam and it still stood true.

 

“Thank you,” Zayn whispered shakily. “I- I’ll ask you when it’s okay to come over. But thank you.”

“You know the security codes. Go over whenever you want to,” Liam replied, his eyes glued to his screen.

 

Zayn gulped and shuffled on the spot for a moment. It was time he left. But his heart was breaking free of his chest and running across the office floor to Liam in bloody tears. “Take care,” Zayn murmured and backed away. Liam scoffed slightly and shook his head as if the idea of ‘taking care’ was impossible. Zayn was almost out the door when Liam’s voice stopped him.

 

“Hard to believe that you despise me, but you’re okay with wearing my clothes.” His voice was so low but Zayn heard everything and it pierced straight through his heart. Zayn paused for a second, unconsciously touching the hoodie he had been wrapped in for days. He silently unzipped it and dropped it from his body onto the floor before walking out of the office.

The box was heavy weight in his arms as he walked towards the elevators. His mind was so glazed over that he didn’t hear his name being called. It was only when his arm was tugged that Zayn looked up in panic and came face to face with Ameera. She was looking at him in concern.

 

“I called your name about ten times but you’ve been standing here like a statue. Are you okay?” Ameera inquired.

 

“That’s a tough one to answer,” Zayn remarked in a cracked voice.

 

“Okay. You’re coming with me.” She didn’t give him a chance to reply and tugged him towards her smaller office beside Liam’s. Ameera shut the door behind herself and Zayn looked up to see Niall also sitting in the office. He was perched on Ameera’s chair and looked surprised to see Zayn. Zayn distantly noted that there was a dark love bite under the collar of his shirt and wondered who went so hard on the man’s neck.

 

“Zayn…” Niall said slowly.

 

“Don’t say anything Niall,” Ameera warned. “Sit down sweetie.” Ameera motioned to a chair and leaned against her desk. Zayn hesitantly perched on the edge of the chair, balancing the box of things he had brought on his shaky knees. He stared down into the box, his heart thundering.

 

“Zee… love…” Ameera touched his face gently and Zayn looked up at her. “What happened?”

 

“Liam didn’t tell you?” Zayn croaked. “You must know something with the way you’re behaving.”

 

“Liam is _devastated_. My best friend is broken. He hasn’t been sober for a single second all week,” Niall said in a fiercely protective voice.

 

“I’m sorry,” Zayn pushed out. His legs shook more violently as panic surged through his body.

 

“Quit it Niall!” Ameera snapped. “There’s two sides to every story. We don’t know what you’re going through Zayn. You went through hell and if breaking up with Liam is going to make you feel better then that’s the best choice for you. I’m not judging. But I saw the love you had for him. You look pretty crappy right now too. So I have to assume that there’s more to this story. And all I want to know is if there’s something else going on because you look just as broken as Liam right now.”

 

“Whatever happened… happened for the better. You guys won’t get it. You’re free to hate me too. I don’t expect sympathy,” Zayn maintained an even voice.

 

“Darling we don’t hate you. You’re like a little brother to me. Niall too even if he’s being prickly right now. We’ll always love you even if what you did… with Maheer… wasn’t the nicest thing you could have done to Liam. But nonetheless, I’m here if you want to talk. What you guys are going through right now is shit. You don’t deserve it. But like I’m here for Liam, I’m here for you too,” Ameera said gently.

 

Zayn nodded slowly and started to get up. “I appreciate it. But Liam needs you more right now. And I- I should go.”

 

“Zayn,” Niall said. “This… this doesn’t have anything to do with Max does it?”

 

Zayn paused for a second, but quickly shook his head. “But doesn’t it?” He replied tiredly.

 

“Zayn-” Niall began.

 

“Bye guys.” Zayn turned to leave quickly.

 

“Zayn. I didn’t mean to come off rude earlier. I’m just protective of Liam especially because he went through some dark shit a couple years ago and I don’t want him spiraling. But just know, I don’t hate you. And like Meemz said… I’m here for you as well,” Niall declared.

 

 “Thank you. See you guys. I think.” Zayn hurried out of the room and rushed to the elevators. He waited impatiently for one and rushed in as soon as it arrived. He fell back against the wall and took deep breaths to calm himself as he descended. This was ten feet under rock bottom and the darkness was stifling.

 

 

**

 

“How’s it going Li?”

 

Liam paused his incessant attacks on the punching bag and looked up, wiping sweat from his brow. Miguel stood there with a bottle of water and a towel. He walked forward and tossed both things to Liam which he caught easily. Liam swallowed half the bottle in one go and wiped sweat from his face with the towel before draping it around his neck.

 

“Like being punched repeatedly in the gut with no end,” Liam answered.

 

“Ouch.” Miguel gave him a small smile and leaned against the wall as Liam returned to his boxing. He could picture Max, Jason and even Maheer as he rained the punches. Everyone who had taken Zayn from him.

 

“Why are you here?” Liam asked without breaking stride. It was evening time and after having the pained encounter with Zayn in his office, Liam had returned home to take out all his frustrations.

 

“To check up on you. Niall and Tom said you were fucked up at work and screamed at some poor intern who screwed up your paperwork and made him cry and then you snapped at almost everyone in your meeting. Is it because Zayn came to see you?” Miguel asked.

 

“Are you guys like in some group chat where you discuss me all day? Do any of you have hobbies?” Liam lashed out.

 

“Yes, and we call it Liam’s pity party,” Miguel retorted. Liam rolled his eyes and looked over at Miguel who cracked a smile. “Anyways. We love you, you spiteful bitch. We know you’re hurting and just want to help.”

 

“Well acting like an overprotective mother isn’t helping,” Liam said through clenched teeth.

 

“Can you stop this shit for one second? Look man. You loved Zayn. We all know you did. You got his fucking name tattooed on your wrist. But he’s gone now. And you can’t torture yourself like this. Whatever Zayn said to you is 100% wrong. You were not the reason Max and Jason targeted him. They did that shit on their own. You loving Zayn was not a reason for them to cause him pain. So please stop driving yourself into a hole with so much self-hate,” Miguel argued.

 

“You don’t get it,” Liam muttered. “It’s so much more than that- I can’t… I can’t stop thinking of someone else kissing him Mig.” Liam paused and closed his eyes in pain. “It makes me sick… I feel so… the image of someone else kissing those lips. Someone else touching him. Someone else getting to hear the soft sighs he makes when he kisses. Someone touching his skin. Some other fucking bastard holding him close and watching his eyes flutter shut as he sinks into the kiss. Watching his eyes glaze over, his lips turn red, his body tremble. Someone else kissing my angel…” Liam broke and sank to the ground.

 

“Li…” Miguel murmured and came to sit down beside him. “I’m so sorry.”

 

“I know he said it was just a kiss but my mind keeps travelling to the worst. What if that… that bastard did much more? What if he touched that little freckle on Zayn’s thigh? Kissed it?” Liam stopped and held his face in his hands as his mind spiraled uncontrollably. “I can’t shut that shit off.”

 

“Fuck them. Okay? Fuck all that. Come out with me. What you need, is to get laid. Nothing cures an ugly breakup like a good meaningless fuck. Let’s go to Red,” Miguel prompted.

“No thanks,” Liam replied and tugged his gloves off.

 

“Liam. You need this,” Miguel coaxed. “Either come out and get some ass or I’ll have to seduce you right here.”

Liam cracked his first smile in days and raised his eyebrows at Miguel. “I’m going through a breakup but I haven’t lowered my standards.”

 

“There’s the Liam I know and love!” Miguel whipped him with the towel and grinned.

 

“I’ll come for the alcohol,” Liam announced. “Let me change.”

 

“Don’t keep me waiting!” Miguel yelled as Liam walked out of his gym.

 

“I wouldn’t dream of it Miguel,” Liam called back sarcastically.

 

 

**

 

 

Zayn had spent the better part of the day wandering around Central Park. When it was dark out, he finally came back to his dorm. He was about to enter the building when he saw a figure leaning against a car. He recognized the person behind the dark eyes and felt like vomiting. His legs shook and he walked over.

 

“What. The. Fuck. Do. You. Want?” Zayn demanded through clenched teeth.

 

“How’ve you been baby?” Jason asked.

 

“I will scream. I will call the police,” Zayn threatened.

 

“That’s not such a good idea,” Jason warned.

 

“Then why the fuck won’t you leave me alone?” Zayn’s tone edged on desperate.

 

“Your friend, or Liam’s friend, Niall… he came to see Max. He was threatening Max and asking if he said or did something to make you abruptly leave Liam. Seems like you didn’t do a good enough job,” Jason said with a raised brow. “Max is pissed. He said this is your last warning. If Niall is sniffing around, Liam might too. And let’s just say things won’t be pretty.”

 

Zayn couldn’t hold back anymore and slapped Jason across his face. Jason stared at him in shock and quick rising anger. “Fuck you. Fuck you and your brother. You guys are sick, twisted fucks. What more do you want from me? I have ripped out my heart from my body. I have nothing left. I’m an empty shell. You can go ahead and kill me if you want I don’t give a fuck. But I’ve done as you said and don’t you dare, don’t you fucking dare lay a hand on Liam.”

 

Zayn turned to walk inside and Jason grabbed his hand tightly. “Then make this shit more believable. Going around looking all depressed will make Liam see through you once his anger passes in a day or two. Get your shit together and play your part better. Or else.”

 

“Or else what?” Zayn yelled.

 

“You know what.” Jason turned to get back into his car and paused. “Liam is at Red. Go do your part and Max will keep his word.”

 

“What the fuck do you mean?” Zayn asked.

 

Jason gave him a pointed look and got into his car to drive away. Zayn stood there and stared at the busy street, long after Jason had driven away. He had given up. He was defeated. He felt nothing. Zayn looked up at his building and instead of going inside, he turned around to hail a cab.

 

**

 

 

“Liam!”

Liam lifted his head from the back of the booth and looked up to see someone he hadn’t seen in a while. A dark glint in grey eyes and lips turned up in a smirk. Liam puffed out smoke and gave the other boy a long look.

 

“Adrian.”

 

Adrian ran a hand through his messy dark hair, pushing the waves out his eyes. He grinned and slipped into the booth, close to Liam. “Haven’t seen you in a long time.”

 

“How was Paris?” Liam asked.

 

“Amazing. I walked for Versace, Ralph Lauren and Armani. But I was thinking of the last time you came with me to fashion week. Missed you,” Adrian murmured.

 

“I bet you did. How’s Demetre?” Liam asked with a snort.

 

Adrian smiled and draped his leg over Liam’s. He leaned forward and kissed Liam’s neck. “Ditched him. I heard you broke up with that pretty little thing you were dating.”

Liam sighed and swallowed some more of his drink. He glanced down towards the crowded dance floor. “Did Miguel send you here?” Liam asked.

 

“Maybe. Maybe I just saw you and realized how much I’ve missed you. Your hands on me…” Adrian ran his fingers along the edge of Liam’s leather jacket and down towards his lap.

 

“Not right now Adrian,” Liam muttered and pushed his hand away.

 

“Damn that boy fucked you up really bad,” Adrian sighed and leaned back. Liam looked over at him in irritation and watched as Adrian pulled out a small box and swallowed a tiny pill he took from it. He then grabbed Liam’s drink with a smile and drained it.

 

 

**

 

“Zayn.”

  
  
Zayn spun around and sighed when he saw who it was. He gave Maheer a weak smile. “Hi.”

 

“How are you?” Maheer asked in concern.

 

“How do you think?” Zayn asked with a small laugh.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Maheer asked.

 

“No. Absolutely not,” Zayn told him.

 

“Why did you ask me to meet here?” Maheer asked, pointing up at Red. They were waiting near the long queue of people and Zayn swallowed nervously.

 

“I need one last favour from you. I swear I’ll owe you my life. And I won’t bother you ever again,” Zayn promised.

 

“What is it?” Maheer asked slowly.

 

“I just need one final nail in the coffin so Liam won’t ever doubt the breakup. It’s important,” Zayn said.

 

“Okay…” Maheer looked confused.

 

“Will you help me? Please?” Zayn was ready to beg.

 

“I mean…” Maheer looked skeptical.

 

“Please,” Zayn pleaded with teary eyes. “I’ll fall at your feet if I have to.”

 

“Don’t do that. Fine. I don’t know what you need me to do but I think I have a feeling,” Maheer said.

 

“I’m sorry,” Zayn said tearfully. “I appreciate all this.”

 

Maheer nodded and patted Zayn’s arm. “My tendency to help anyone who needs me is gonna fuck me up one day. But you’re a good person. And I’ll help you as long as you need it.”

 

They walked straight in after Zayn flashed his VVIP card, which felt so wrong to use in this situation. As they took the elevator up, Zayn felt his insides melting with stress. He could barely breathe. Walking into the crowded club as people danced, bodies entwined, music thumping loudly, Zayn felt more panicked. He couldn’t believe what he was doing. Zayn pushed his way through the crowd towards the bar and leaned against it. Maheer came up beside him and gave him a look, asking if he was okay. Zayn nodded and asked the bartender for a water. He sipped at it slowly and scanned the railing of the VIP floor wondering where Liam was. He prayed more than anything in his heart that Liam had left already and he wouldn’t have to do this. But no. Zayn spotted Liam walk up to the railing and lean against it, looking down. Miguel and Niall were beside him and they seemed to be talking.

 

Like some magnetic force, Liam looked straight at him. Zayn quickly looked away, pretending he hadn’t seen him. He swallowed his water and tapped Maheer on the arm, signalling to the dance floor. Maheer shrugged and followed Zayn onto the floor. Zayn wasn’t aware of what song was playing but the bodies around him moved in full sensuality. This was so fucked up. Zayn stopped where he knew he was surrounded but still in full view. He turned around and wrapped his arms around Maheer’s neck.

 

“Please go along with this,” Zayn said into his ear. Maheer nodded in confusion. Zayn started moving his body slowly along with the music. Maheer tentatively held his waist. Zayn looked over Maheer’s shoulder and through the flashing lights he saw Liam, still leaning over the railing. He was holding his glass mid-air and just staring. His jaw was clenched and his eyes looked dark and full of anger. His expression was so hurt and angry that Zayn felt his body tremble. Zayn turned around so that his back was pressed to Maheer’s front and pulled the other man’s hands around his waist. It was just robotic movements. He danced slowly and closed his eyes, drowning the noise away.

 

Zayn turned back around and buried his face into Maheer’s shoulder as he continued to move his body. He looked up tentatively and felt sick as he realized Liam was still watching them. Even from the distance Zayn could see his icy eyes and the sheer force of frustration and anger coming off him. Niall was saying something to him but Liam wasn’t listening. Zayn took a deep breath because he knew it was now or never.

 

“I’m sorry,” Zayn murmured to Liam, himself, and Maheer. Zayn leaned up and pressed his lips to Maheer’s. The man reeled a little in shock but Zayn held him tightly and soon Maheer caught on. It was painfully awkward as he cautiously gripped Zayn’s hips and let the boy kiss him. Zayn looked over Maheer’s shoulder and noticed Liam’s plain shock and devastation. His mouth stretched into a disbelieving smile, hurt clear as day. He shook his head like he still couldn’t believe what he saw, and he spun around, his back to the dance floor.

 

Zayn immediately pulled away and looked at Maheer apologetically. “I’m so sorry!” Zayn shouted over the music. Maheer nodded understandingly and pointed to the exit. Zayn nodded and followed him outside. They ended up in the back alley and Maheer turned to Zayn with a sigh on his lips.

 

“That was… you shouldn’t have done that Zayn. And I shouldn’t have gone along with it. Mr. Payne… Liam was watching. And I know you don’t like me like that, you still love him. And I don’t like you like that either. You’re like a younger brother to me.” Maheer looked extremely uncomfortable and he rubbed the nape of his neck as he looked off to the side.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Liam needed to see that and I was desperate. But I swear to God I won’t involve you again,” Zayn apologized, his voice shaking.

 

“You know I’m around if you need me. I’m here to listen or help you. But I can’t be involved in whatever you’re doing to Liam. And yourself,” Maheer said.

 

“I know. This was the last time. I won’t bother you again,” Zayn said quietly.

 

“You can bother me, Zayn. Don’t feel bad. Just not like this. And I got a new assignment. It’s a six-month job for a model signed with IMG. I’ll be away a lot but I’m always a phone call away if you need to talk, okay?” Maheer said and squeezed Zayn’s shoulder.

 

“Okay. Thank you for everything Maheer. I apologize for everything I caused,” Zayn said.

 

“It’s okay, Zayn. Just promise me that you’ll take care of yourself. And that you’ll sort this out,” Maheer advised.

 

“I’ll try,” Zayn replied

 

Maheer smiled and leaned in to give him a hug. Zayn hugged him back but it was brief. The incident from inside still hung over them awkwardly. Maheer moved back and patted his arm.

 

“I have to get going but do you want me to get a cab for you?” Maheer asked.

 

“No, I’ll be fine to get one myself. I’ll probably be a minute,” Zayn answered.

 

“Okay. Well… bye Zayn,” Maheer said finally. Zayn nodded and watched as Maheer walked away, down the alley and towards the street. He took a deep, shaky breath and glanced up at the sky. He shivered and tightened his jacket around himself. He should have left, should have started to find his way home. But something kept him standing a moment longer. His awful luck probably. The door opened and someone walked out. The orange glow of a cigarette burning bright. He was in all black but he stood out under the glow of a streetlight.

 

Zayn stood stock-still as he watched Liam take a long drag and blow the smoke upwards. Zayn pushed back against the wall, hoping to be camouflaged. He wanted to melt into the shadows and let the dark night swallow him whole. As Liam turned casually, his eyes caught on Zayn and he paused. There was a blank look on his face. Numbness. He walked over to Zayn slowly, his mouth wrapped around his cigarette. Zayn gulped slowly and clenched his hands to stop them from twitching. Liam stopped a few centimetres from him, Zayn could feel the heat from his body. Liam gazed contemplatively at Zayn’s face as he took a long drag. He blew the smoke away from Zayn’s face, then stepped even more closer. He brought a hand up and ran his thumb along Zayn’s bottom lip. Then he swept his fingers along Zayn’s jaw and pulled his hand away with a shake of his head.

 

“It would have hurt much less if you would have shot me right here,” Liam murmured as he tapped his hand over his own heart. Zayn could have sworn he screamed out loud. But evidently, it was just internal.

 

“Miguel is right. You were my undoing.” Liam shook his head and backed away with his eyes still hazily trained on Zayn’s face. Zayn kept his limbs locked and let his eyes fall to the ground covered in cigarette butts. From the corner of his vision, Zayn saw Liam drop the cigarette and stomp on it. Then footsteps were walking in the opposite direction, music poured out from the building and a door slammed.

 

Zayn covered his mouth to stop any involuntary screams from fighting their way out. He quickly hurried out towards the street. He had to leave. He had to distance himself from the bloody remains of his heart on the ground. He walked down the busy streets, stumbling past people, trying to keep his last shred of sanity in check so he could get somewhere, anywhere, safely. Zayn had no idea how long he walked, until he found himself surrounded by buildings he did not recognize. He must have been downtown somewhere but he did not know where. Zayn looked around slowly and saw neon lights burning on a small shop across from him. He saw the six-lettered word and was tugged across the street by his aching soul. He didn’t know where the urgency came from but his mind was set. He needed to do this.

 

“Can I help you?” A red-headed girl with a septum piercing and a sleeve full of tattoos greeted him with a raised brow. Zayn gulped and nodded slowly. With a man and his ink-covered wrist in mind, Zayn shakily explained what he desperately needed.

 

 

**

 

 

The lights were flashing red and Liam pushed his way through the crowd with purpose. He saw him standing by the bar, laughing as he ran his hand up some man’s arm who seemed to be grinning too widely at the attentions. Liam rolled his eyes. He walked up to Adrian without any care and grabbed his hand. When Adrian looked up, Liam nodded to the dance floor and started leading him away.

 

“Hey!” The man Adrian had been talking to yelled. Liam turned slowly and gave him one icy look which had the man shrinking back. Adrian was smirking and winked at the other man as Liam lead him to the dance floor.

 

“Didn’t think you were still around,” Adrian said as they found themselves in the middle of the crowded floor.

 

“Didn’t think I would be,” Liam replied shortly. He whirled Adrian around and tugged him back into his chest. Adrian laughed breathily and started to grind back with a purpose.

 

“I’m glad you did. Everyone else is just a distraction you know that Li. No one matches up to you,” Adrian said. He dropped his head back onto Liam’s shoulder. Liam ignored his words and ran his hand around Adrian’s body towards his pocket. He touched something cool and tugged it out. He opened the tiny silver box and was about to pull out something from inside when Adrian took his hand gently. He turned around with a glint in his grey eyes. He smiled and took the box from Liam. Carefully placing a tiny pill on his tongue, Adrian wrapped a hand around Liam’s neck and kissed him hungrily. When he pushed the pill into Liam’s mouth, Liam grabbed his hips and yanked him forward.

 

“Do I need to call my driver yet or…” Adrian trailed off with a grin.

 

“Don’t act coy,” Liam replied with a roll of his eyes. He took Adrian’s hand and started to lead him towards the exit as the younger man pressed up against him eagerly.

 

Liam was empty. Numb. Broken. Utterly destroyed. Seeing Zayn kiss Maheer with his own eyes was the final stab in his ruptured heart. If he barely wanted to exist right now, it didn’t matter what he did for the rest of the night to numb the feeling he was drowning in.

 

 

**

 

Zayn unlocked his room door and tried to creep in quietly. The room was swathed in darkness and as he slowly made his way towards his bed, he stopped because he saw two figures sleeping in Harry’s bed. Zayn peered at Harry’s familiar curls and then paused in shock as he saw Louis in his football jersey draped around Harry. Something about the way they were cuddled read intimate and Zayn floundered. When had this happened? He felt a horrible feeling in his gut as he realized that while he was caught up in his heartbreak, he hadn’t even noticed what was happening in his best friends’ lives. He truly hoped they weren’t hiding anything because they felt bad for him.

 

Zayn tucked Harry’s blanket over them so they wouldn’t get cold and then dropped down into his own bed. He got under his comforter and slowly peeled back his sleeve. He lifted the white gauze from his wrist and tentatively touched the dark ink. Against his skin, the tattoo stood out starkly. Done in cursive he had ‘Liam’ written on his left wrist. In the exact style that Liam had the ‘Zayn’ tattoo on his own wrist. Except instead of the angel wings on either side, Zayn had put a half of a heart on either side. To him it signified that Liam would live forever inside his heart. Even in the shattered remains. Zayn kissed the spot gently and held his hand in a tight grip.

 

“This is my forever,” Zayn whispered. “Because it’s not just a word.”

 

 

**

 

A heavy smack on his cheek jerked him awake from a light sleep. Zayn jerked up in bed. He had probably started to slip a little into sleep about a half hour ago and now he was rudely awakened. He felt delirious. He hadn’t slept in a week. Zayn turned to look at his assailant with blood shot eyes. Harry was glaring at him in sharp anger and holding a pillow. Louis sat behind him, hair messy with sleep, with an apologetic look.

 

“What the fuck Harry?” Zayn yelled hoarsely, his head reeling in pain from not sleeping in days.

 

“Are you fucking crazy?” Harry screamed.

 

“What?” Zayn groaned and grabbed his head as it throbbed. Harry grabbed his hand and tugged it. Zayn felt some pain and flinched. He looked down in confusion and realization dawned on him as he saw his tattoo again. He had forgotten to wrap it again.

 

“Tell me that this is just sharpie?” Harry exclaimed.

 

“It’s not.” Zayn tugged his hand away and fell back against the bed. He wanted to pound a hammer on his head to expel the pain

 

“Zayn. Babe. You’re fucking losing your mind. You do not get your ex-boyfriend’s name tattooed on your wrist!” Harry exclaimed.

 

“Haz, don’t yell at him-” Louis said gently.

 

“I can yell at him as much as I like! Stay out of it Lou. Zayn has fucking lost it,” Harry snapped.

 

“Leave me alone Harry! You don’t know what I’m going through so you can’t pass any judgement,” Zayn retorted.

 

“Well why don’t you try telling me what’s going on with you?” Harry replied exasperatedly.

 

“As if you tell me everything going on in your life,” Zayn muttered as he rubbed his head.

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry asked.

 

“You two,” Zayn said pointedly. Harry jerked back in surprise and Louis flushed with a sheepish grin. Zayn shook his head with a ‘see?’ look on his face.

 

“How did…” Harry cleared his throat and pushed a hand through his messy curls. As the collar of his t-shirt dipped lower, a dark love bite was exposed. Zayn reached forward and pressed it gently. When Harry gave a tiny smile, Zayn smacked his head lightly.

 

“We didn’t want to be insensitive to what you were going through,” Louis explained kindly. “It sort of happened when you umm… were missing… and I was comforting Harry. We kissed. We forgot about it then because there were more important things going on. But last week we were studying late and… we were going to tell you the night you and Liam broke up…” Louis trailed off awkwardly.

 

“Guys,” Zayn sighed. “You’re crazy. Because of my issues, you were hiding something as wonderful as you getting together? I’m going through a lot… but that will never, ever stop me from caring about you guys. You’re my best friends. I love you so fucking much and I’ve been rooting for you since the beginning. No one can be more happier about this than me.” Zayn smiled softly and leaned forward to hug Harry.

 

“You’re an angel, you gorgeous bastard.” Louis snorted with laughter and came over to wrap his arms around the two of them. Zayn closed his eyes as he heard the word angel but quickly moved back with a tiny smile.

 

“I hope you guys are always happy. You deserve everything in this world. Anyone would be lucky to have friends as amazing as you. And finding love with your best friend, or a best friend in the person you love is extraordinary. Liam was my best friend,” Zayn said quietly.

 

“Excuse me?” Harry gasped dramatically to crack the sudden tension. Zayn laughed lightly as Harry and Louis smothered him in another hug.

 

“So who made the first official move? I bet it was Lou,” Zayn said.

 

“Don’t underestimate me. The first kiss was so brief and it was kind of like us both leaning in at a time where we were helpless. Last week I made the move. I asked Lou to show me his favourite workout position while we were studying.” Harry grinned at Louis who winked.

 

“This sounds like bad porn,” Zayn groaned jokingly.

 

“Harry moans like a porn star.” Louis grinned mischievously.

 

“Louis!” Harry tried to look irritated but when Louis leaned over and kissed him, the curly-haired boy blushed and grinned.

 

“You guys are cute. But don’t create porn in front of me,” Zayn smacked them lightly.

 

“This isn’t like… too much right? We know you just got out of a relationship,” Louis said.

 

“Don’t be silly. I’m fine. I’m so happy for you guys,” Zayn replied with a smile.

 

“Back to this.” Harry grabbed Zayn’s wrist and touched the tattoo. “Zay… why?”

 

“I can’t explain it Haz. Please don’t ask me to. This is my version of forever. I told Liam forever is just a word but it isn’t. It’s real. And Liam is always going to be it for me. He’ll always be in my heart. No one else will ever come into my life. He was my one, true, epic love. And that’s it for me,” Zayn murmured.

 

“Oh my love…” Harry tugged him into a hug and kissed his head. “It kills me to see you hurting so much.”

 

“it is what it is,” Zayn said quietly.

 

“How about we all go get breakfast? Just stuff our faces and forget about shitty things,” Louis offered.

 

“Actually… I’m going to see Ray at Liam’s place. I’ll catch up with you guys later,” Zayn said.

 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Harry asked.

 

“I don’t know. But I miss Ray. It’s been more than a week. And Liam said it’s okay to swing by anytime. He’s probably asleep right now so I’ll go see Ray for a bit and come back. I’ve lost all my dignity but I miss my bubs. I need to see him.” Zayn got up from the bed and pulled on clean clothes.

 

“Want us to come with?” Louis offered.

 

“No it’s okay. I’ll see you later though.” Zayn tugged a hand through his hair and caught sight of his tattoo in the mirror. He grabbed his fallen gauze from last night and wrapped his wrist again before tugging his long sleeve down.

 

“Be careful. Don’t get hurt,” Harry said.

 

“It’s fine.” Zayn gestured to his wrist.

 

“Not that kind of hurt.” Harry kissed his forehead and hugged him tightly. “Call me if you need me.”

 

“Thank you,” Zayn replied. “See you guys.”

 

Zayn left the dorm in the early morning and hailed a cab. He gave Liam’s address and sat back nervously as they drove off. After last night… kissing Maheer in Liam’s own club, that awful moment outside… he didn’t know if he could face Liam. But he wanted to see Ray so badly. He had already distanced himself from Liam but he couldn’t do it with Ray as well. He’d go in and out quickly.

 

When Zayn got to Liam’s building, he took the elevator up and into Liam’s penthouse, entering the codes, with feelings of distress. It was silent. It felt eerie. This place had been a source of comfort for him. Something he called home. Liam had told him it was their home. Zayn moved through the familiar halls and looked around downstairs for Ray. When he didn’t find him Zayn slowly made his way up. He truly hoped Ray wasn’t in Liam’s bedroom because that would be awkward. But to his luck, Zayn found Ray in the guest bedroom. He was awake and drinking out of a water bowl placed near him. Zayn fell to his knees and quickly picked the kitten up.

 

“Jaan. My little baby.” Zayn kissed Ray and the kitten purred happily as he recognized Zayn. Zayn smiled and let Ray grab at his finger. “I’ve missed you.”

 

Zayn scooped Ray up, peppering him with kisses. He made his way out of the room so that he could go downstairs and get Ray some food. He already felt out of place and he would leave after spending maybe a half hour more with Ray. As much as it killed him. As Zayn made his way towards the stairs, the double doors to the master bedroom opened and someone stepped out. Zayn slowed, expecting Liam, then froze in complete horror when he saw who it was. He knew that face. The first night he had been to Red to see Liam, this person had sat in Liam’s lap and shot-gunned with him.

 

Dressed in just briefs and a button down open at the front (which looked like Liam’s), with messy hair, hazy eyes, and an angry love bite on his neck, Adrian looked at Zayn with raised eyebrows. Zayn knew what he saw but he couldn’t comprehend what was happening. His world was tilting on its axis because Adrian had walked out of Liam’s bedroom looking like he had been fucking for the past ten hours and Zayn still couldn’t believe it. No. No. No. Just no. Liam couldn’t have. Liam couldn’t cheat on him…except… it wasn’t cheating. They weren’t together. Zayn’s legs were about to give up, he was about to vomit.

 

“Who… wait… aren’t you Liam’s ex?” Adrian asked. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I-I… I came to see my cat,” Zayn said as he held back his nausea. He was seeing spots now. His eyes still roamed over Adrian’s body in confusion as he took in the marks. He even had Liam’s scent clinging to him. The ground needed to swallow him.

 

“Okay… I thought you were stalking Liam.” Adrian snorted. Zayn quickly hurried down the stairs and walked into the kitchen. He only had two steps in mind. Feed Ray. Get the fuck out. As he poured Ray’s food, he heard footsteps and looked back to see Adrian walk in with a lit cigarette. It was 9 a.m. Adrian turned on the coffee machine and then perched on a barstool, watching Zayn carefully.

 

“So, what did a cute little thing like you with such an innocent face do to Liam that has him so fucked up?” Adrian questioned.

 

“None of your business,” Zayn muttered.

 

Adrian hummed with a lazy grin and ran a hand through his tousled hair. “Your loss, my gain,” Adrian said.

 

“Stop,” Zayn responded in pain. “I’m not here to… I should go…”

 

Zayn didn’t even wait for Ray to finish eating. He hurried from the kitchen and bumped into a solid chest. As he reeled backwards, a strong grip on his shoulders steadied him and he found himself in warm arms. The scent he had ben craving madly for days filled his senses. With a thundering heart, Zayn looked up and met brown eyes. The ache he felt in that moment could have swallowed him whole. Liam looked tired but so painfully handsome that it hurt Zayn. His hair was messy from sleep and his beard thicker. He was staring into Zayn’s eyes with something unreadable. Then he slowly, and awfully gently, righted Zayn and moved away.

 

“What are you doing here?” Liam asked as he moved over to the fridge to pull out a water bottle. Zayn was speechless as he looked over Liam. He was wearing low-slung sweats and his torso was bare. His back was covered in red scratches. Zayn looked over at Adrian who was lazily looking between the both of them as if he was mildly amused by the sheer awkwardness.

 

“Zayn?” Liam was shooting him a questioning look. His eyes were empty and stony.

 

“Ray…” Zayn whispered. “You said…” _You said we were forever. You said I was the only one you saw in a colour of black and white. You said no one else compared to what we had together and no one could ever come after that. You said I was the only one you wanted in that way after we got together._ That’s what Zayn wanted to say. Except he couldn’t. Liam was assessing him quietly.

 

“While this palpable tension is quite enjoyable, I’m going to go shower,” Adrian announced. He sauntered over to Liam and leaned up to press a kiss to his lips. Zayn looked away as something thick and hot exploded in his chest and flooded his body.

 

“Not right now Adrian,” Liam warned and glared at him slightly which only made Adrian grin and he walked away, not before giving Zayn a small wave. The silence that followed was the most incredibly tense and painful few moments of Zayn’s life.

 

“I… I came to see Ray… but I’ll go now. I don’t mean to intrude,” Zayn said in low voice.

 

“There’s nothing to intrude on,” Liam replied, his eyes trained down on his phone as he tapped away.

 

“You… Adrian… You already… never mind. I’ll go,” Zayn muttered and turned to go.

 

“Don’t act so surprised. You brought Maheer to _my_ club and danced in his arms and kissed him right in front of me,” Liam voice was even but it dripped with anger.

 

“And?” Zayn replied, the pain consuming him. “We’re not together. It’s not cheating,” Zayn choked out.

 

Liam’s face settled into stone and he regarded Zayn slowly. “You’re right. It’s not cheating. But when you kissed Maheer the first time, _that_ was cheating because we _were_ together.”

 

“I can’t do this again. I have to go.” Zayn hurried towards the door, wiping his eyes as they filled with hot tears.

 

“Wait,” Liam sighed as if he was exhausted from everything. “You came to spend time with Ray. Just stay with him a little while more. I know you miss him.” He didn’t wait to hear Zayn’s response and just grabbed a cup of coffee and left the kitchen

 

Zayn lifted his sleeve to his eyes and let it soak up the wetness covering his cheeks and eyes. He sank down to the ground beside Ray and stroked his fur and cried quiet tears. “You don’t even know what’s going on, do you? Liam hates me. And when I made this decision I knew it would be painful but not how excruciating the pain would be.”

 

When Ray was done eating, Zayn scooped him up and went in search for his cat toys. It looked like a massive cleanup had been done. Liam even had new furniture in his living room downstairs. Zayn searched in a couple of places and found some in the guest room. He was on his way back down when he paused by his old room. The ‘Zayn room.’ The door was closed. Zayn’s heart was thudding as he turned the knob slowly and entered. He flicked on the light and stared into the room. It looked exactly the same. He imagined that Liam probably hadn’t even entered the room because it would have reminded him of Zayn.

 

“I haven’t been in here or touched a thing.” Zayn spun around with wide eyes as if he had been caught doing something illegal. Liam stood there with his laptop tucked under his arm, a shirt covering his torso now. He had that cold, distant look again.

 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t – shouldn’t just be peeking into rooms like this. It’s your home and I’m just…” Zayn bit his tongue to calm the stuttering.

 

Liam was looking at him with a furrowed brow. “You know… the other day I was so fucked up, when I passed by this room I was ready to storm in and destroy everything. Then I had a moment of clarity and decided that I wasn’t going to be that asshole who destroys your safe space. Despite all this ugliness and hurt between us, I hope you know that this room will continue to be your safe space. I won’t enter it ever again, but whenever you come here to visit Ray and feel anxious or something… you can use this room to feel calm. If it helps. I don’t have anything to do with this room.”

 

“Liam. Why are you doing this? You don’t have to… I know you probably hate me…” Zayn said weakly before Liam’s surprised, harsh laugh cut him off.

 

“You think I hate you?” Liam asked incredulously. He scrubbed a hand down his face and shook his head. “Hating you means becoming a different person, someone I’m not. It’s not possible. And falling out of love with you Zayn… it means separating my heart and soul from my body. Also not possible.”

 

Liam turned around and walked away. Zayn watched him go, with pain dripping out of his every pore, onto the floor in a red puddle. Liam had crossed the hall to go to sit in the open lounge that faced Zayn’s old room. He turned on the fireplace and settled onto a sofa. Zayn watched him stare at his laptop screen, then the man shook his head and started typing away.

 

Zayn looked down where Ray was tugging on a stuffed toy and sank onto the carpet beside him. He continued to watch Liam as the man worked and occasionally ran a hand through his hair or rubbed his temples. Seeing how Liam had taken the step to move on to someone else, even if it was just sex, really hurt. Zayn knew Liam was probably trying to forget him or numb the pain, but it made his heart ache. The emotional pain of being separated from the man he loved was unbelievably hard enough, but the burning ache he felt at realizing that someone else got to be in bed with Liam now, it was making him crazy. Someone under Liam, feeling his strong hands, his hot kisses down their body, his dirty murmurs in their ear, his eyes dark with desire, letting him take control of their body, the way he lavished attention and made the other person lose their mind. Zayn clenched his eyes shut. When was the last time he had been with Liam like that? He remembered of course, it was burned in his brain.

 

_“The cytoskeleton is responsible for supporting the cell and giving it shape. It’s made of filaments and tubules…” Zayn murmured under his breath as his fingers flew across his keyboard. This lab report was taking longer than he had imagined. He looked over at his textbook and blinked tiredly before turning back to his laptop screen and adding more information to the background section of the report._

_“Someone’s a hard worker.” A kiss was pressed to his neck and Zayn smiled. Liam had slid into the space behind Zayn on the sofa. He wrapped an arm around Zayn’s stomach and kissed his temple._

_“There’s so much to do and I feel like I’m behind,” Zayn said._

_“It’s okay to be behind in college. You’re only human. And you’ve been dealing with a lot recently.” Liam rand a hand under Zayn’s t-shirt and rubbed his stomach. “You need to give yourself a break and ease the stress.”_

_“Ease the stress how?” Zayn asked distractedly as he typed out the abstract section._

_Liam hummed and ran his hand down to Zayn’s lap and ran lazy fingers over his crotch. Zayn gasped and squirmed a little. “Li… I have to finish this. I-it’s due at midnight.”_

_“Mhm. You have a few hours. I don’t need that long to make you relax.” Zayn felt himself push his hips back into Liam as the man ran a hand up the inside of his thigh and cupped him. Zayn bit his lip as Liam sucked gently on his neck._

_“Li-” Zayn started but Liam pushed his hand past the waistband of Zayn’s sweats and gripped his length. “Liam!” Zayn groaned and jerked suddenly so his laptop slid forward. Zayn grabbed it with one hand and lost himself in the thrilling pleasure of Liam stroking him._

_“Baby,” Liam murmured and with two fingers he turned Zayn’s face to kiss him. Zayn moaned as Liam pushed his tongue into his mouth. He started sucking on Zayn’s bottom lip which made his whole body tremble._

_Zayn pushed his laptop and books aside before turning around to straddle Liam. “I need to be studying you devil-man.” But instead of turning back to his work, he wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and kissed him deeply, making Liam chuckle._

_“Hold on,” Liam said and took Zayn’s glasses off his face, which had gotten dishevelled. Liam kissed between his eyes gently before he placed the glasses aside. Then he cupped Zayn’s face and kissed him heatedly. Zayn whimpered as Liam lifted him and pressed him against the sofa, before climbing on top. Liam pulled off Zayn’s sweats and pushed his shirt up his body before he started kissing his way down. The feeling of Liam’s tongue running down towards where he was hard made Zayn writhe underneath the man._

_“Jaan,” Zayn whined. “Please.” Zayn tried to buck upwards but Liam held him down by his hips. He took his time to slowly kiss along Zayn’s hipbones and suck on his inner thighs._

_“This isn’t quick,” Zayn whimpered as Liam avoided the spot where Zayn really needed him._

_“I know. I lied.” Liam smirked as he looked up from between Zayn’s thighs. Zayn huffed in annoyance but it turned into a loud moan as Liam ran his tongue up Zayn’s hard length._

_“God… those sounds you make,” Liam murmured, his eyes dark. He gripped Zayn’s thighs tightly and yanked him a little down before he lowered his mouth again._

_“L-Liam…” Zayn sighed in blissful pleasure and dropped his head back as heat coursed through his body, burning him in the best way possible._

_“Baby.” Liam moved up again and curved his arms around Zayn’s body before capturing his mouth in a kiss again. He ran his fingers down the curve of Zayn’s ass and started tracing his entrance. Zayn choked out a moan and clung to Liam as his pleasure overtook his mind and body._

“The angry face is kind of hot.” Zayn snapped out of his trance and looked up to see that Adrian had joined Liam where he was working in the lounge. Liam gave him a momentarily glance as Adrian dropped down beside him and kissed his neck. Zayn felt the nausea rise again.

 

“I’m not in the mood Adrian. And you should leave,” Liam said in a cold tone.

 

“Not up for round two?” Adrian teased and wrapped his arms around Liam to bite his ear.

 

Zayn felt like he was about to die. It could be an exaggeration but he truly felt like he was about to die. Zayn got up as quietly as possible and shut the room door before he crept towards the stairs and ran down. He kissed Ray quickly and left him in the living room with his toys before bolting from the penthouse.

 

 

**

 

“You need to go now. You know what this was,” Liam told Adrian sternly.

 

“Oh come on Liam…” Adrian murmured and leaned forward to kiss him but Liam stopped him.

 

“Adrian. We’ve never been more than a couple one night stands. And especially now, I’m not looking for anything else. I have a lot on my plate right now. So please, just go. I’ll see you around okay?” Liam said.

 

“Alright. I get it. It’s that boy. You still love him.” Adrian looked at him contemplatively. “That boy doesn’t even know what he’s lost. The way you were looking at him in the kitchen… I would give anything for that.”

 

“No you wouldn’t,” Liam said with a short laugh. “Your entire mantra is polyamory positive. You hate commitment.”

“You did too. Once. Well anyways, I’m off to London tomorrow. Maybe when I’m back?” Adrian said.

 

“Maybe,” Liam answered. He knew Adrian meant no harm with his intentions. He had always been too forward and they had been on an off while dating other people as well for a year or two. Then he had met Zayn. And now… nothing else compared. Sleeping with Adrian had numbed the pain. He hadn’t been sober last night either so it had been an easy way to forget the pain. But seeing Zayn today had brought up every tiny feeling he had for the boy. Love… and devastation.

 

“I hope you have what it takes to get over him. Heartbreak doesn’t suit you,” Adrian said. He kissed Liam’s cheek, then got up and left him with a smile.

 

“Don’t get into too much trouble,” Liam called out.

 

“I won’t if you won’t,” Adrian replied with a wink. Liam’s lips curved up and he shook his head as Adrian disappeared down the stairs.

 

The mention of Zayn had Liam turn around and look towards the room that he still considered Zayn’s. The door was closed. Liam got up and opened the door, only to find the lights off and no one inside. He went downstairs and looked all around, but found Ray by himself in the living room. Zayn must have left. Liam shook his head. Either Zayn was just uncomfortable being here, or he had seen Adrian with Liam. It was extremely difficult being around the boy but Liam couldn’t deprive him of Ray. And Zayn had looked so thrown off at seeing Adrian there that Liam had felt guilty. But he didn’t know why he felt guilty after Zayn had explicitly told him that he wanted to be with someone other than Liam. Despite everything, he still couldn’t see pain on Zayn’s face. His beautiful face. Liam shut off his thoughts before they spiralled again and went back to his work. Taking a bottle of scotch from behind the bar to help repress things.

 

 

**

 

“What’s this beta?”

 

Zayn spun around, caught red handed. Metaphorically and literally. His hands were dripping with red paint. “Baba. Maa. What?” His parents were stood in the entrance to his dorm room and looking at him with strange expressions.

 

“We came to see you. We’ve been worried about you,” Tricia said as they walked in cautiously.

 

“I’m fine,” Zayn murmured. His parents looked around the room, then at him, as if to say ‘really?’

 

“What is this Zayn?” Yaser gestured to the ground in front of Zayn. He looked down in embarrassment and flushed. After coming back from Liam’s, he had been on the verge of another breakdown. He felt the need to translate the pain into something. Before he knew it, he had laid out a long sheet of paper that covered the span of the flor and had started to pour his heart out. It was a jumble of words Liam had said to him, song lyrics he had sung to Liam or associated with him, and pictures of things he associated with Liam. Like the Eiffel Tower. Paris. Where it began.

 

“Tere ishq mein jo bhi doob gaya, usse duniya ki lehron se darna kya…” Yaser looked at the painting and read out softly. Then he looked up at Zayn with something deeper than sympathy. “Zayn… this is… it kills us to see you hurting like this.”

 

“Don’t look at me like that. I can’t talk about anything right now,” Zayn whispered.

 

“Honey, maybe you should come home for a little while. You look sick and from what Harry has told us, you’re not doing so well. You’re barely sleeping or eating. This isn’t healthy,” Tricia said and leaned forward to kiss his forehead.

 

“I’m fine,” Zayn reaffirmed.

 

Yaser and Tricia looked at each other and shared sighs. Zayn knew they were worried about him, especially given his lifelong habit to internalize everything and never talk about it. He hated worrying his parents like this.

 

“And I have class tomorrow anyways. So…” Zayn cleared his throat and stood up to place his paint bottles back onto his desk. He caught sight of a polaroid above his desk, of himself and Liam. Curled up in bed. Liam’s lips pressed to his temple as Zayn held out the camera, smiling at it. He tugged it down as his heart cracked and slipped it into the back of his chemistry textbook.

 

“Well we left Doniya with the girls so we have a few hours. Let’s go get dinner. Invite Harry too,” Yaser said.

 

“Harry’s on a date. With Louis,” Zayn murmured.

 

“They figured it out?” Yaser asked with a smile. Zayn nodded with a brief smile.

 

“Well I’m starving. So how about we go get some food. It’s been a while since we went out,” Tricia said as she stood. “I miss you.” She bent and kissed Zayn’s head.

 

“Miss you too Maa,” Zayn replied and wrapped his arms around her as she squeezed him lovingly.

 

“Where do you want to eat?” Yaser asked.

 

“I don’t want to eat anything,” Zayn muttered.

 

“When was the last time you ate?” Tricia asked with hands on her hips.

 

“Ummm… today?” Zayn tried but Tricia’s face didn’t flinch.

 

“Harry said you ate yesterday. A piece of toast. Why aren’t you looking after yourself?” Tricia scolded.

 

“Harry is a snake,” Zayn said with a furrowed brow. He didn’t mean it. His best friend was just over-protective. Zayn knew he was the same way when Harry was upset.

 

“We know you’re going through a lot Zayn and we won’t patronize you. But you can’t damage your health. You look pale, you have heavy bags under your eyes, you look like you’ve lost so much weight in one week alone and we know about the panic attacks,” Yaser said gently.

 

“Baba…” Zayn sighed.

 

“We’ll talk over dinner. There’s a nice desi restaurant a few streets down,” Yaser said as he handed Zayn his jacket.

 

“Okay. Let me wash my hands first,” Zayn replied, defeated. “But I want chicken samosas,” he grumbled. His parents smiled brightly at him. Zayn left his room to go to the communal bathrooms and wash his hands. He could do this. He could keep a front and try to remain calm for the evening. He’d hate to worry his parents and let them see how much of a fucking mess he was.

 

 

**

 

“Liam?”

 

Opening his eyes tiredly, Liam saw Mary standing in front of him. He set down his half burnt joint and sat up as Mary came forward with a small box in her hands.

 

“This just got delivered for you. The concierge brought it upstairs.” She handed him the box and Liam nodded in thanks. She looked at him with concern in her eyes before she gave him a small smile. “I’m off for the night now love. Take care of yourself. I put some food in the fridge if you’re hungry.”

 

“Thanks Mary,” Liam replied. After she left, he opened the box and felt puzzled as he saw a cassette tape and an envelope. Curiosity took the better of him and he opened the envelope. The loopy handwriting was familiar and cut through his heart.

 

_‘Jaan-_

_You’re always giving me things and leaving me speechless. I can never give you anything, or do anything that even comes close to the extraordinary gifts you give me. The things you do for me. So I thought I’d do something special. The day this gets delivered to you will be the three-month anniversary of us kissing in Paris and finally coming together. I’m sure you have something special planned which is gonna make me cry like an idiot. And I’m pretty sure I’m going to be spending all night under you. But before all that, this gift will find you. And it’s my way of saying. Thank you. Thank you jaan. Thank you for this love, this unbelievable and infinite love you give me and the profound happiness you brought into my life that rainy night in Paris. I love you more than life itself. So listen to this tape (don’t laugh at me I’m old school) and listen to my love. This was so nerve-wracking but you always say that you like to hear me sing, God knows why. I got my friend to help me record this and I’ve kept it secret until now, when this gets delivered to you. So here’s our song. From me to you. Happy three months. I love you meri jaan._

_-Zayn.’_

 

It was deplorable. The ironic timing and the heart-crushing pain. Life worked in a funny way. The Zayn in that letter was still in love with him. They were happy. Liam didn’t know when Zayn had written that, but he had been thinking of their three-month anniversary. Three months ago, Liam had kissed that beautiful boy in Paris, in the pounding rain and felt him melt in his arms. He’d fallen in love with that boy and imagined the rest of their life to be full of love and passion as intense as that night. And here he stood on the three-month anniversary, a broken devastated man. Who was without that beautiful boy and barely surviving.

 

The funny thing, the funny fucking thing was that Zayn was spot on. Two days before they broke up, Liam had been thinking about this anniversary and planning on surprising Zayn. He had taken a few days off and had planned to whisk Zayn away to that very villa in Paris. Zayn had been miserable with the Max and Jason situation and Liam wanted to make him happy. He had wanted to go back to Paris on their three-month anniversary. And he had a thin gold ring with paved diamonds around it waiting in a black velvet box. It was just a promise ring. But it meant everything. He was going to give it to Zayn and promise him that they were forever. They were for life and beyond that too. He was it for him. And that the promise ring would one day turn into a gold band.

 

Liam went into his office where he kept an old cassette player that used to belong to his dad. Zayn had loved it. He would bring over cassettes and play them whenever he stayed over. RnB music from the 80s and some Pakistani songs on cassettes that had belonged to Yaser. Liam sighed and slowly pushed the tape in before he hit play. There was a second of silence before the sound of piano filled the room. Liam recognized it instantly and clenched his eyes shut.

 

_‘Wise men say… only fools rush in… but I… can’t… help…falling in love with you…’_

Zayn sounded slightly nervous but his voice was beautiful. It was downright unfair how beautiful his voice was. Liam had fallen in love with Zayn when he had heard him sing and it cut through his heart to hear the angelic voice he was madly in love with. The voice that made him sink to the ground.

 

_‘Oh, shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I… can’t help… falling in love with you.’_

His vision was blurred. Everything around him was turning black. His chest was ripping apart. His hands clenched tightly.

 

_‘Take my hand… take my whole life too… for I can’t help falling in love with you.’_

Blood was pounding in his ears. The room felt like it was shattering around him. There were a thousand knives dragging through his skin, cutting him open. His world, set on fire. And he felt like his heart was being surgically removed from his body.

 

As the piano faded away, Liam stood up slowly and walked out. There was only one place on his mind. It had been years. He didn’t even know how it came to mind. But it was the place he used to expel his emotions. Overpower his anger. Now he needed to overpower this gut-wrenching sadness that was ripping him apart. So he went.

 

 

**

 

He pounded on the heavy black door. A small window opened. Eyes peered at him and then recognition flooded them. “Payne?” The man asked.

 

“Let me in Tony. We’re years past asking for passwords,” Liam said.

 

The door swung open and a man in a leather jacket with a cigarette hanging from his lips looked Liam up and down. “Well I’ll be damned. Liam Payne. Here to catch up?”

 

“Whose up tonight?” Liam asked as he entered the dimly lit hallway and the door swung shut behind him.

 

“A lot of new people. You wouldn’t know them. I promoted Dave though,” Tony said. “But what uh… what are you doing here? Don’t tell me you’re getting back into this mess again.”

 

“Put me up next. I don’t care with who.” Liam descended the dingy stairs into the basement of the cover-up men’s hair salon. He could already hear it. The loud shouts. The smell of sweat. Blood too. He felt like he was two seconds away from exploding.  And he needed to channel it into something else, cover it with physical pain, push out all his anger and devastation. Zayn had said that the dark influences from Liam’s past had ruined his life. Well maybe that’s what Liam had always been. So why pretend he wasn’t a part of something fucked up that had hurt Zayn and broken him in return?

 

 

**

 

“What’s that?”

 

Zayn lifted the keyring in his hand so Harry could see it better. He sighed and shook his head. “It’s umm… it’s from Paris. When we went there on our first date, Liam bought it for me because I wouldn’t let him buy me something expensive. Tonight… tonight is the three-month anniversary of the night we had our first date and kissed in Paris. I… I was just…”

 

Zayn couldn’t continue and Harry just wrapped his arms around him in silent understanding and kissed his head. “I’m sorry Zay. This world is so fucked up. You guys love each other and because of some screwed up bastards you can’t be together. I- I don’t even know what to say. Are you going to be okay though?”

“What’s there to be okay about? You know… he called me his angel and he was my jaan. My soul, my life, my everything. And now that I’m without him… I feel like I’m an empty shell without a soul. Just sleep walking through my days, without any sense, or purpose. He was the only colour I saw in this world of black and white. And when I left him… I left behind every drop of the vibrant colour in my life that was his existence. That was our love. And never in my life have I felt such agonizing pain. It’s ripping me to shreds, piece by piece. And I don’t even care. Because without him, I have no desire to live.” Zayn took a shaky breath as he finished and gripped his wrist where his new Liam tattoo sat. He had kept it covered around his parents, but coming back to his room he had taken off the bandana he kept around it.

 

“Zayn…” Harry hugged him tightly again. “Is there anything I can do for you? You want to go out and do something to forget what tonight is?”

 

“No, I don’t want to go anywhere,” Zayn murmured and sat down in front of his painting again.

 

“Well… do you need help with that?” Harry asked.

 

“I’m fine. Thanks though. You can go spend time with Lou. You guys just started going out. Don’t let me dampen your new relationship happiness. I’ll be fine.” Zayn squeezed Harry’s knee gently.

 

“Lou is gone to grab pizza and then I thought we could all have a horror movie night. Halloween is in a few days and we can’t break our tradition Zay. Creepy movies all night long and Halloween candy and popcorn till we almost puke,” Harry grinned.

 

“More like you actually puke,” Zayn teased lightly.

 

Harry smiled widely and pinched Zayn. “Alright smartass. I’ll let you pick first. Although I know you’re going to pick The Conjuring.”

 

“Well we can watch IT again. There’s probably some version floating around online,” Zayn said.

 

“Sure,” Harry replied.

 

“You know… the night Liam and I went to watch IT… I was so spooked when I came back, I slept underneath Liam and made him keep the lights on. And then I made him wait in the bathroom while I showered.” Zayn smiled at the memory, Liam’s laughter ringing in his ears vividly as he remembered when Liam had crept up behind him in the closet and scared him so badly that Zayn had screamed. When sudden tears had fallen from Zayn’s eyes at the unexpected jump and how his heart and been racing, Liam had quickly gathered him in his arms and kissed all over his face, apologizing, although he couldn’t stop his chuckles.

 

_“You’re so mean,” Zayn sniffed through his tears. “My heart fell from my chest.”_

_“Well I can just put it back,” Liam teased. He scooped up an invisible article from the ground, Zayn’s ‘heart,’ and patted it into his chest. “Here you go baby. My sincerest apologies.”_

 

_“I’ll only accept this apology if you get me some ice cream,” Zayn replied as Liam pecked little kisses along his head._

_Liam laughed and pinched Zayn’s chin. “Fine. Wait right here I’ll go grab it from the kitchen.” Liam kissed him while wiping his remaining tears away. Then he left the closet and Zayn heard his footsteps leave the room. Either he was paranoid or there really was a force near him, because Zayn felt a light breeze and screamed at the top of his lungs._

_“Liam don’t leave me alone! There’s a fucking demon in your closet!” Zayn ran from the room like his life depended on it. He sprinted without looking back until he was able to throw himself onto Liam’s back in the kitchen._

_“What happened?” Liam asked, holding an ice cream carton in his hand._

_“Pennywise is real and he lives in your closet,” Zayn panted._

_“Well I’ve got a meeting early tomorrow so I hope he keeps his murderous tendencies on a down low because I need some sleep,” Liam said calmly. When Zayn looked up at him in disbelief, Liam’s face cracked into a grin._

_“You’re not funny.” Zayn snatched the ice cream from Liam’s hands and stomped away._

_“Where are you going?” Liam called out with a laugh._

_“To get murdered!” Zayn yelled back._

_“Well ask him to us a sharp knife instead of a blunt one! You’re going to want a quick death instead of a painful one!” Liam shouted to him teasingly._

_Zayn paused and quickly texted Liam a reaction gif instead of speaking to him. The man looked at his phone and laughed as he opened the message and saw the gif of Kim Kardashian hitting Khloe with a bag and yelling ‘Don’t be rude!’ Liam laughed and shook his head. “We’re in the same room, Zayn.”_

_Zayn ignored him and stormed back upstairs. When Liam re-entered the room with a smile, Zayn was half buried under the thick comforter with pillows around him, eating his ice cream with an eye on the walk-in closet. Zayn gave Liam a small glare but felt comforted knowing he wouldn’t have to be alone in the unnecessarily massive room anymore. Liam got on the bed and hovered over Zayn with his eyebrows raised. Zayn licked his spoon slowly giving Liam a silent glare._

_“I won’t let the demon get you I swear,” Liam said and kissed his forehead. “I adore you way too much to let a killer clown poltergeist kill you.”_

_Zayn struggled hard but his face cracked into a small smile. Liam grinned and took his ice cream to put it away. He tugged Zayn down the bed then wrapped his arms around him so Zayn was protected from all sides._

_“No, roll on top of me,” Zayn said. Liam laughed and blanketed Zayn’s body with his own. Zayn peeked over Liam’s shoulder towards the closet and hugged Liam tightly. “Now I feel safer.”_

_“I’m glad angel,” Liam laughed. “I would say that you should stop watching horror movies because they freak you out but I know you’re going to say-“_

_“It’s the thrill of fear that is enjoyable,” Zayn said at the same time as Liam who chuckled and kissed his face as Zayn smiled and buried his face into Liam’s shoulder._

_“You’re one of a kind baby boy,” Liam murmured fondly._

_“Thank you for protecting me against demons, boyfriend,” Zayn whispered sleepily._

_“You’re welcome my love,” Liam laughed gently and kissed his neck._

“Zayn! Zayn!”

 

Zayn snapped out of the memory and saw Harry looking at him frantically, his phone in his hand. Something about Harry’s expression made Zayn jump up from the ground.

 

“What? What is it? Is Louis okay?” Zayn asked, his heartbeat crazed.

 

“Niall just texted me. Liam… Liam’s been in a car crash. It’s bad.” Harry was looking at him with wide eyes, his hands were shaking and he looked pale.

 

The world spun around him and Zayn felt like he had been electrocuted. He went crashing to the ground in one clean drop and the only sound was Harry’s scream.

 

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are intense and I'm actually enjoying writing angst which I didn't expect. This chapter was pretty bittersweet I guess, bitter with the angst and sweet with the few flashbacks. I planned on having just one flashback but it somehow became like four lol. I guess I miss the fluff a little bit. But yes are smack in the middle of the angst portion now. And twenty chapters officially uploaded. This feels surreal. I still remember showing a friend the 'Into You' drabble and saying 'I have an idea...' This is crazy. And close to 1000 kudos too which makes me emotional. Thank you guys for the support!!! And I know I'm going to get many upset comments which I'm bracing myself for lol. I still hope you liked it. With every passing chapter we're getting closer to the end. The fic is somewhere between 25-30 chapters including a long epilogue. It makes me sad thinking of the end. But anyways, for now... bear with me and the angst. We're here for a bit. And I will try my best to not take too long with chap 21 but life is unpredictable sometimes. I love you guys so much and I'm sending hugs to you all <3
> 
> Urdu words:  
> -tere ishq mein jo bhi doob gaya, usse duniya ki lehron se darna kya: (this is a line from an old song) for someone who has drowned in your love, what fear does he have of any waves (troubles) in this world.  
> -shaytan: satan
> 
>  
> 
> P.S. I know a lot of people will be upset with Liam and Zayn's choices in kissing Maheer or sleeping with Adrian. But you have to understand that they're human and hurting badly right now. Zayn is desperately doing anything to keep Liam safe, and Liam is destroyed and hurting so much he feels nothing. So go easy on my babies :)
> 
> P.P.S. out of curiosity, has anyone caught on to the fact that Niall and Ameera are hooking up? I've been subtly implying it :)


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, sorry for the long wait but by now I hope you understand that things are unpredictable and I try my best. Thank you to those of you who are so patient. And thank you so incredibly much for your love and support that got me to cross 1000 kudos. I love you so much and am so thankful, you have no idea <3 I wrote a small drabble as a thank you for the 1000 kudos as well which exists in this same fic universe and takes place back when ziam were still together and it's just a random fluff piece but I thought it would be a nice change to the recent angst. Hope you like this chapter and the drabble. And please take a few minutes to read some stuff I wrote in the end notes because it's important and I needed to get it off my chest. Again, thank you and I hope you like it <3
> 
> p.s please ignore any little grammatical errors because i did only one edit since my eye is hurt and i cant look at a screen for too long 
> 
> **p.p.s. TW (spoiler-ish): continued warnings for angst and suicidal thoughts and also some animal related injuries. Be cautious if that effects your or makes you anxious.

 

 

_The sound of flesh hitting flesh and cracking bones was still ringing in his ears. The copper taste of blood was still fresh in his mouth. The adrenaline was still pumping through his body. The memory of pinning his opponent down and feeling that rush was still at the front of his mind._

_He shouldn’t have been driving. His mind was in a catastrophe of emotions. The haze from the alcohol still in his bloodstream was making his mind muddled. He had been drinking before the fight and after the fight and then had decided to drive. He had been speeding. Another mistake. But someone with raven hair and hazel eyes was on his mind and he couldn’t push the images away. So he pressed harder on the accelerator. He didn’t see the car coming. He swerved to avoid the other car. He hit a telephone pole. His whole life didn’t flash before his eyes like people say it does. He saw only the best moments of his life. With one person. One face. One smile. And then it got dark._

**

 

When he was nine years old, Zayn had fallen from his bike while riding around the block with Harry. He had cried in agonizing pain as he lay sprawled on the sidewalk and Harry ran the short distance to Zayn’s home as fast as his tiny, lanky legs carried him. He had come running back with Zayn’s frantic parents. Tricia was in tears when she saw Zayn’s condition and bundled him carefully into her arms as Yaser quickly got them into the car to drive them to the hospital. They had spent hours in the hospital as Zayn got x-rayed and put into an arm cast. The sharp smell of the hospital, the ridiculous pain he had been in and the cranky nurse who had been helping them always stayed with Zayn. He had a sharp dislike of hospitals ever since then and avoided them as best as he could. Not today.

Zayn ran into the hospital in a state of hysteria. Harry was hot on his heels. When Harry had said that Liam had been in a car accident, Zayn had felt like his entire world had collapsed. And he had similarly collapsed to the ground. After coming back to his senses, he had run out of his dorm room at the speed of lightning with Harry yelling out behind him. They had taken a cab to the hospital while Zayn’s body shook the entire time. Fear and anxiety gripped his heart and took his body prisoner too. Liam was in the hospital. Liam was hurt. He had thought that by breaking Liam’s heart he was saving him from physical harm. Whether Max had a hand in this or not, it didn’t matter. Because Zayn knew Liam’s accident linked back to him.

Niall had texted Harry that Liam had been moved to a private room on the fifth floor after being treated in the emergency care unit. Zayn didn’t know the extent of Liam’s injuries but he was imagining the worst. The person he loved more than anything in this world was lying in this hospital hurt. He could crumble under the agony he felt. It was a million times worse than his broken arm.

 

He hurried down the corridor of the third floor towards room 510 where Liam was. He was a few feet from the room when he skidded to a stop. There was a group of people he recognized in the waiting area outside Liam’s room. Niall and Ameera sat on a pair of seats with their hands gripped as they spoke softly to each other. Nicola and her husband were talking to the doctor with tight faces. Tom, Josh and Miguel standing off to the side talking in hushed tones. Zayn felt bile rise in his throats. He somehow felt responsible for the events and he knew his presence might be unwanted. A hand gripped his own firmly and he looked to his right to see Harry giving him a reassuring look.

 

“What are you doing here?” Zayn looked up to see Tom giving him a small glare.

 

“Tom-” Niall started in a tired voice.

 

“Liam doesn’t need to see him here. We all know how fucked up he’s been recently and why he was so out of his mind tonight for this to happen. And we know who caused it,” Tom said with a flicker of anger in his eyes.

 

Zayn inhaled deeply. Devastation came in many layers. And this was cutting down to his very last, raw and bloodied one. He had no composure or sense to act as anything else right now. His pain was fresh and evident across his face and body.

 

“That’s not fair,” Harry shot out. “We’re concerned for Liam too. Whatever happened between Zayn and Liam is between them. That doesn’t mean that Zayn can’t be worried for him.”

 

“What-” Tom started.

 

“Tom, stop it,” Ameera said in a sharp voice. “Can everyone just calm down for a few minutes and stop being so fucking bitter? Anger is what got Liam here. We don’t need to continue with that same exhausting streak. Just… relax.”

 

Tom sighed and turned to walk away. Zayn wanted to run. His anxiety and his instincts all told to run away. But his love for Liam overpowered everything. Thus, he kept his ground. And stood still. Niall walked over to him with a heavy face. He looked worn out and his eyes were red like he had been crying recently.

 

“Zayn…” Niall trailed off with a sigh and rubbed his face.

 

“Niall,” Zayn said in a shaky voice. “Please... I…how is he? How bad is it?”

 

Niall must have heard the desperation in his voice and his eyes turned a little sympathetic. “His car swerved off the road to avoid hitting another car. He was speeding and he was drunk. No other cars or people were involved or hurt. He hit a telephone pole and his car is completely done for. The police are not sure how he survived because the car is so banged up and Liam walked away without being too badly hurt. A few fractures, main one on his tibia, and a broken rib. He’ll be in a cast and on crunches for a while. Bandaged up in other places. He’ll need physio. And right now, he’s on really strong painkillers so he’s totally out of it. He had also lost a lot of blood when he first got to the hospital and the doctors lost him for like thirty seconds. He’s okay now.” Niall said everything in a robotic voice which gave Zayn the feeling that he was doing so to prevent himself from breaking down.

 

Every word Niall said cut deep in Zayn’s chest and made him feel like the world was spinning around him. He wanted to collapse. But he also wanted, no _needed_ , to see Liam. Zayn looked towards the room door where he knew Liam would be lying in his injured state. His hands shook as he clenched them into fists by his side.

 

“Do you want to see him?” Niall asked.

 

“C-can I?” Zayn whispered, his eyes pleading. Niall nodded and patted his arm before pointing in the direction of the room.

 

“Visiting hours will be over soon so you only have a little bit of time. But go on. Liam is asleep anyways which is probably best because seeing you might hurt him more,” Niall reasoned.

 

Zayn nodded and slowly turned towards the room. His heart was beating rapidly. He could hear the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor from inside Liam’s room. Zayn’s breathing was shaky as he stepped inside the room. When his eyes fell on the bed in the centre of the room, he inhaled sharply. Liam was pale and he looked almost lifeless as he lay on the bed. His hand was bandaged up, his leg was in a white cast, he had gauze around his forehead and other red and purple bruises across his face and whatever body parts were visible. Zayn’s eyes filled with stinging tears and he took a few steps to the bed.

 

“He’s drugged up so he’s in and out of sleep and when he’s awake he’s in a hazy state, kind of like being drunk.” Zayn snapped his head to the left to see a nurse standing in the corner writing on a clipboard. He had been so zeroed in on Liam, he hadn’t even noticed her. Zayn nodded at her shakily before sitting on a chair beside Liam’s bed.

 

“Are you Zayn?” The nurse inquired softly. When Zayn looked up at her in surprise she smiled gently at him.

 

“He’s been saying ‘Zayn’ a lot. Nothing else. Just that. The look on your face makes me think you must be this Zayn,” she said with a warm smile. “Don’t worry honey. He’ll be okay.”

 

She patted his arm as she passed him before leaving the room and closing the door behind herself. Zayn turned to Liam and finally let every pent-up emotion inside himself burst. Tears flowed freely from his eyes as he reached a shaky hand forward to pick up Liam’s bandaged hand.

 

“Jaan… what have you done?” Zayn whispered. “What…” He couldn’t even continue because his throat closed up and his eyes were streaming out waterfalls of tears. Zayn placed shaky kisses all over Liam’s hand and across his wrist. He reached forward to push Liam’s hair off his forehead. He ran gentle fingers over the bruises marring Liam’s skin and down through his thick beard. Zayn put his head down on the bed beside Liam and let his body wrack with silent sobs.

 

His tears had barely been exhausted before he felt a hand rest on his head. Zayn stilled as he felt gentle fingers card through his hair. “Angel,” a rough voice said.

 

Zayn looked up slowly and saw Liam watching him through lidded eyes. Zayn had the urge to pull away but he remembered the nurse had said that Liam was heavily drugged. Zayn rubbed his eyes with the back of his sleeve and looked at Liam wordlessly. The man ran his hand through Zayn’s hair then brushed his cheek with the back of his unhurt hand. When he cupped Zayn’s face, Zayn leaned into it and closed his eyes.

 

“What happened Liam?” Zayn whispered. “Why did you do this? Why were you drinking and driving? You- you’re hurt so bad jaan. You’re so hurt…”

 

Zayn covered his face as he cried harder. He felt a tugging on his hand and he pulled it away to see Liam looking at him with a furrowed brow. “Don’t cry my love,” Liam murmured. “I hate seeing you cry.”

 

“Jaan…” Zayn choked out and crawled onto the bed to wrap his arms around Liam. He pressed kisses all over his face, then buried his face into Liam’s neck and let his tears soak the skin there. Like in some reflex gesture from old times, or maybe the lack of coherent thinking, Liam wrapped his unharmed arm around Zayn and kissed his head.

 

“You sent me a cassette tape… singing our song… it’s our three-month anniversary,” Liam murmured. Zayn froze and slowly sat up. The cassette tape. He had forgotten all about that. A few weeks ago, he had been talking to Shalini and discussing how he liked to sing privately. She had mentioned a studio that she and her band used to work on demos. Zayn had worked up some courage to ask her if she’d help him record something for Liam. He had recorded many songs that reminded him of their relationship, some in Urdu. He had prepared the tape of ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’ to be mailed to Liam a while ago so it could surprise him at his apartment. He had planned on giving the tape of the other songs to Liam tonight. If they had still been together. With the recent breakup, he had forgotten that the tape would be going to Liam. The repercussions were right in front of him.

 

“Liam…” Zayn slid onto the chair again and took a shaky breath. Liam reached out and touched his hand.

 

“Why did you do it? I loved you more than anything or anyone in this entire fucking world. You could have asked me once, just once, to leave you alone because you couldn't tolerate my being near you anymore, and I would have listened. Because I would have done anything for you. Given you anything. To make you happy or give you peace I would have cut open my wrist and bled for you. Shown you my love. All you had to do was ask. But instead you broke my heart. Ripped it from my chest and stomped across it. Why Zayn? Why?” Liam said the heartbreaking words in a slightly slurred voice which indicated his out of mind state but his words seemed to come from his heart. And they cut deep.

 

“Liam… please…” Zayn whispered tearfully.

 

“I really am sorry. I always will be. I lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. But the way that you ended it… that hurt. That hurt more than anything I’ve ever experienced. And hearing you sing on that tape made me feel like my heart was burning. I needed to stop it somehow… make it all stop.” Liam rested his hand over his heart and closed his eyes with a deep sigh.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I love you,” Zayn whispered. He looked at Liam’s face but there was no reaction. His breathing was even again and his eyes were closed. “I love you so fucking much meri jaan. And it kills me to see you hurting yourself like this. But I’m so helpless. I’m so God damn helpless.” Zayn bent his head and kissed Liam’s cheek gently. The bruises on Liam’s face didn’t seem consistent with a car accident. He felt unnerved. It looked like Liam had also been in a fight.

 

“This is not what I wanted for you,” Zayn said in a frustrated tone. “I don’t know how to make you stop hurting. I just keep making everything worse.” Zayn held onto Liam’s hand tightly and started to sing softly, hoping that it would somehow help Liam and soothe the pain in their hearts.

_“A drop in the ocean, a change in the weather. I was praying that you and me might end up together. It’s like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert. But I’m holding you closer than most ‘cause you are my heaven.”_ Zayn kissed Liam’s wrist over the tattoo and let his tears stain the man’s skin.

 

 _“I don’t wanna waste the weekend. If you don’t love me, pretend a few more hours, then it’s time to go. And as my train rolls down the east coast, I wonder how you keep warm. It’s too late to cry, too broken to move on. And still I can’t let you be. Most nights I hardly sleep. Don’t take what you don’t need from me.”_ Zayn softened his voice even more as Liam stirred and he stroked his bruised cheek.

 

 _“It’s just a drop in the ocean. A change in the weather. I was praying that you and me might end up together. It’s like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert. But I’m holding you close than most ‘cause you are my heaven.”_ As he sang ‘you are my heaven’ he couldn’t go on anymore and he covered his mouth to muffle his cries.

 

“Your voice is beautiful…” Liam mumbled from the throes of drug-induced sleep. Zayn smiled shakily and pressed a lingering kiss to Liam’s forehead before getting up from the chair. He slowly backed away towards the door. It was hard to believe that they were in this awful place. Literally and metaphorically. Zayn spun around and exited the room quietly.

 

He found Harry with Niall and Ameera outside. Seemed like everyone else had left. Harry spotted him and rushed over. He grabbed Zayn’s hand and squeezed it. “Okay Zay?” Harry murmured, his eyes flitting all over Zayn’s face.

 

Zayn shook his head but kept his composure because the other two were watching him carefully. “Please take care of him,” Zayn said to them.

 

“We will. The head of intensive care is a family friend of Liam’s and myself. She’s pulling some strings and letting Ameera and I stay here overnight in his room,” Niall said. “We’ll keep a watch on him.”

 

“Good,” Zayn murmured. He noticed that Niall was giving him a thoughtful stare so he quickly turned to Harry. “Let’s go Haz.”

 

“Okay,” Harry said in slight confusion. “You good?”

“Yes,” Zayn replied too swiftly. He gave Harry a look that indicated that he needed to get out of there as quickly as possible. Harry understood and took his hand. “I’ll see you guys,” Zayn said to Niall and Ameera.

 

He quickly turned to walk down the hall towards the elevators. Harry came up beside him and waited with him in silence. It was only once they were in the elevator that Harry spoke up. “Do you think it was Max?”

 

“I don’t know… Niall said he was driving drunk and hit a pole so it sounds like it was all Liam. But who has made him like this Harry? Me. Max. I can’t…” Zayn covered his face and sunk into Harry’s side, unable to carry his own weight anymore.

 

 

**

 

“You really should get some rest. You haven’t slept a wink.”

 

“Neither have you babe. You should go. I’ll be fine.”

 

The voices were coming to him muddled like through a tube. He turned his head slightly and winced at the sharp pain that shot through his skull. Everything ached. Was he in hell? Liam blinked his eyes open slowly and closed them again when the bright lights pierced his corneas. He raised a shaky hand to rub his face and paused when he saw that it was bandaged up in white gauze. He looked around the room slowly, wondering where he was. The last thing he remembered was the fight. Then he had gone to some bar. Then he had been driving. Oh yes. He had swerved to avoid hitting the other car. He must have gone off the road. And he was alive. Unfortunately.

 

His eyes flitted around the room and landed on the couch opposite his bed where two figures sat. To his surprise, it was Niall and Ameera. They were sitting curled on one end. Ameera’s legs were pulled up into Niall’s lap with his jacket draped over them. They were sipping from coffee cups and Ameera was tenderly playing with his hair as he spoke to her softly and stroked the back of her hand. Liam almost chuckled in surprise. This was a long time coming, but when exactly had it happened? Liam would surely have noticed. Unless… unless if it had been during these past few treacherous weeks and they had avoided telling him.

 

“So, did you finally grow a pair and ask her out or did she sympathize with your pathetic ass and agree to go out, Ni?” Liam joked in a rough voice.

 

Two heads snapped in his direction. For a few seconds, he watched their shocked faces. Liam laughed and began to cough which sparked pain in his ribcage. He clutched his chest and that action finally made the other two jump from the couch and rush over to him.

 

“Liam!” Niall got to him first and practically jumped on him in a frenzy to hug him. “Oh my fucking- are you okay?”

 

“Well other than the fact that you might be aggravating my injuries… I’m fine,” Liam said.

 

“Oh fuck. Sorry.” Niall moved back and smiled at him although his eyes were screaming with concern.

 

“How much pain are you in right now?” Ameera asked in a quiet voice. Liam looked over at her and noticed that she was just staring at him seriously.

 

“I dunno… 5 out of 10?” Liam offered.

 

“Good.” Ameera moved forward quickly and slapped him.

 

“OW! What the fuck Meemz?” Liam yelled angrily. He looked at her in shock and Niall seemed equally surprised. Ameera’s face was a whirlwind of anger and devastation. She had tears running down her face.

 

“How could you be so fucking careless and selfish? Driving drunk? What the fuck is wrong with you?” Ameera fumed. “Not only did you harm yourself but you risked other people’s lives by driving so out of your mind intoxicated. I didn’t think of you as such a person Liam.”

 

“It was a mistake. I know I shouldn’t have been driving drunk. I wasn’t thinking straight,” Liam said tiredly.

 

“Can you say the same for these bruises on your body that don’t seem like they came from the accident?” Niall asked. “Were you at Tony’s?”

 

“I’m not going to talk about that,” Liam said firmly.

 

“Liam…” Niall began. “I understand that you’re devastated with everything that happened recently. But you can _not_ go back to all that shit. Do you remember the dark place you were in when you went there? Your issues with rage were out of control. You aren’t that person anymore and I won’t let you revert back to it.”

 

“Someone reminded me recently that my dark past is also my present and I never changed. The influence it has over other people’s lives is evidence enough,” Liam muttered.

 

“Liam, that is not true,” Ameera sighed and squeezed his hand. “Please don’t start spiralling because Zayn said some very untrue things.”

 

Liam clenched his eyes closed at the mention of Zayn’s name. He had multiple fractures and broken bones which made him feel a ludicrous amount of pain. But the mention of Zayn’s name caused a rush of pain which was unmatched to any other.

 

“He came to see you,” Niall said in an awkward tone. “He seemed really fucked up.”

 

“So, what’s going on with you two?” Liam interrupted before he burst into flames.

 

“What do you mean?” Ameera tried to be nonchalant.

 

“Oh don’t play dumb with me Khan,” Liam laughed. “I saw you two when I woke up.”

“Bro, it’s been going on for two weeks and you notice now?” Niall snorted.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry I was busy getting my heart broken,” Liam said in a light tone. Niall looked guilty and Liam shot him a smile to let him know he was joking. “Relax. How did it happen?”

 

“She made the move,” Niall said with a wide grin.

 

“Yes because all you’ve been able to do is drool from afar for the past two years,” Liam laughed.

 

“Anyways,” Niall cut in and pinched his arm lightly, “we were at Red and Ameera was a little drunk after she had a shot contest with Tom. We were dancing and she sort of just pressed up against me and looked at me with those big eyes and said, ‘so when are you gonna take me home Horan because I’m getting tired of waiting.’”

 

“Big eyes? Niall, come on.” Ameera laughed and smacked him lightly.

 

“I took her home,” Niall said with a wide grin in Ameera’s direction, “and put her to bed with a wastebasket beside her and a bottle of Tylenol on the night stand. The next morning, we went for breakfast and after pancakes I said to her, ‘so when are you gonna kiss me Khan because I’m getting tired of waiting.’”

 

“Smooth,” Liam chuckled and bumped Niall’s fist.

 

“I choked on orange juice as I laughed and when we left the café I pushed him against the car and kissed the life out of him,” Ameera finished with a smile.

 

“So, let me get this straight. You two have liked each other for two years and had multiple opportunities to hook up, I’ve even coordinated a few, and all it took was something that simple?” Liam asked.

 

“Kind of.” Niall grinned and tugged Ameera closer to kiss her cheek.

 

“You guys are ridiculous. But I’m happy for you. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me when it happened though,” Liam sighed.

 

“We wanted to tell you. But with everything that’s been going on… it seemed insensitive almost,” Ameera said apologetically.

 

“You guys are idiots. Nothing in this world could have stopped me from being happy for you. Yes, I’m in a fucked up place but I feel nothing but happiness for you guys. And it would have been the same then too,” Liam said.

 

“Sorry Li,” Niall said softly.

 

“It’s okay guys. But it doesn’t matter. I hope you guys stay this happy for the rest of your lives. You’re my best friends and I want nothing but the best for you,” Liam stated.

 

“If I wasn’t so into your fake blonde best friend I’d be jumping your bones for being such a wonderful person Liam,” Ameera said with a small laugh.

 

“Hey,” Niall interjected.

 

Liam grinned and tugged Ameera into a hug to kiss her forehead. “Ni, you know Ameera is like a sister to me so if you ever hurt her I’ll cut your balls off. And Meemz, Niall is my best friend and brother so if you hurt him… well I won’t cut anything off you but I will find a way to ruin your life.”

 

“Understood.” Ameera rolled her eyes. “Although if I’m like your sister and Niall is like your brother, does that mean we’re committing incest?”

 

“Well it’s hot nonetheless,” Niall said with a smirk.

 

“Oh ew. No thanks. Don’t need images,” Liam snorted.

 

Niall grinned and grabbed Ameera to plant a messy kiss on her lips which she sank into with a laugh. Liam threw a pillow at them to make them stop.

 

“Oh please you never took your tongue out of Zayn’s mouth when he was around and now you can’t look at us kissing?” Niall questioned jokingly.

 

The smile fell from Liam’s lips and the room turned silent. Niall realized his error quickly and his eyes widened. “Oh fuck. I didn’t mean to, Liam. Sorry man.”

 

“Speaking of…” Ameera cleared her throat. “When Zayn was here yesterday he looked-”

 

“I don’t want to talk about Zayn. Don’t mention him,” Liam said in a cold tone. He knew that if he brought up Zayn, he’d feel every drop of the anger, anguish and hysteria he felt last night that made him go to Tony’s and then drive drunk. Although he felt like Zayn had been in this room. Had he spoken to him yesterday? It was probably just his mind playing tricks. But the back of his mind had a memory of a soft voice singing the words ‘cus you are my heaven…’

 

“Okay. That’s fine. The doctor will be in to check on you soon. And I think you can get discharged today,” Ameera said.

 

“Great.” Liam tried to sit up but pain shot through his leg and he grimaced.

 

“Be careful of your stitches,” Ameera chided. “Your parents are coming by in an hour as well. If you thought my slapping you for driving drunk was bad, you have no idea how upset your mom is.”

“Fun,” Liam groaned.

 

“We’re so glad you’re okay Li. You have no idea the hell we’ve been in since I got the call from the hospital that you’d been brought in. I thought you’d died,” Niall said in a painful voice.

 

“I’m sorry Ni,” Liam murmured.

 

“Don’t do this ever again. And we’re going to talk about everything else too. Like Tony’s,” Niall reminded him.

 

“Looking forward to it,” Liam said dryly. “Now can you get a nurse because my pain has suddenly escalated from 5 to 8.” Liam clenched his fist tightly and closed his eyes as Niall hurried from the room in panic. Ameera gripped his hand and talked to him in soothing tones to help distract him from the pain.

 

 

**

 

“Where are you going?”

 

Zayn zipped up his jacket and pocketed his cell phone. He turned to his bed where Louis was lounging and giving him an inquisitive look as he typed away on his laptop.

 

“Liam’s place. Ray is alone since Liam is in the hospital and I just want to make sure he’s fed,” Zayn replied.

 

“Babe. It’s not healthy to keep visiting your ex-boyfriend’s house. You won’t be able to move on when you’re constantly surrounded by memories, not to mention running into him,” Louis said gently.

 

“Do you think I want to be in a home that was once my comfort place and now haunts me? To be surrounded by painful memories? To run into Liam’s hookups? No. It makes me lose my mind. But I miss Ray. I love him too much to distance myself from him as well. I’ll lose my sanity if I can’t at least keep visiting him. Liam offered to let me move him away. But I couldn’t do that to him because he loves Ray too,” Zayn said in a tight voice.

 

“Okay, Zee. Let me know if you need anything,” Louis replied.

 

“Thanks, Lou,” Zayn murmured and leaned down to hug the other boy.

 

“Harry and I are going to the movies tonight but you can text us if you need anything,” Louis offered.

 

“Thank you. I appreciate it. But stop worrying about me. You guys enjoy yourselves,” Zayn urged.

 

“How’s Liam?” Louis asked cautiously.

 

“Uh… don’t know. I texted Ameera and she said he’s okay but I don’t know for sure,” Zayn said softly.

 

“Harry said you were up all night praying?” Louis said with a sympathetic look.

 

“Yeah. I just… I can’t do much for him other than pray and it makes me feel better. I could sit down for a lifetime and pray for his good health,” Zayn said.

 

“In this part of the story I am the one who dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you. Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood,” Louis murmured as he gazed at Zayn with a soft, almost sympathetic, look.

 

“Pablo Neruda,” Zayn said with a small smile. “I knew I liked you for a reason. You can quote my favourite poet.”

 

“I may or may not have taken a peek at your copy of his sonnets collection to impress Harry. But yes, well… your love is incredibly intense, Zayn,” Louis said with a gentle smile. “Be careful of your heart.”

 

“I know, Lou,” Zayn replied softly. “I just don’t know how.”

 

“You’ll figure it out darling. That intelligent brain of yours is capable of so much.” Louis got up from the bed and kissed Zayn’s head.

 

“Thanks, Lou. Again,” Zayn said with a small laughed and squeezed Louis back. “I’ll see you later tonight. I’m gonna spend some time with Ray. I doubt Liam will be home today.”

 

“ ‘Kay. See you later babe.” Louis left him with one last hug and Zayn exited his room as well after grabbing a few things. For Ray. And for Liam.

 

 

**

 

The voices and hint of laughter from inside made Zayn pause with his hand over the door handle. He thought no one would be home. But here he stood outside Liam’s front door and he could hear voices inside. His heart started to hammer inside his chest and he turned to leave. But the elevator pinged open and Niall and Ameera walked out hand in hand.

 

“Zayn?” Ameera said in surprise.

 

“Hi,” Zayn replied with a quick glance at their joined hands. “I um… I didn’t think Liam would be home so I was going to check on Ray.”

 

“Liam came home an hour ago. His family is with him inside. You can still come in and check on Ray,” Niall offered.

 

“No. I shouldn’t. Like you said, Liam would hate to see me here,” Zayn said as a rock formed in his throat.

 

“Don’t be silly sweetheart. For Liam, you and hate don’t even belong in the same sentence,” Ameera said kindly. “Come on.”

 

Zayn held his breath as Ameera punched in the code to the main door and it swung open. He followed in after the other two and felt like his feet were dragging through quicksand. The voices and laughter were coming from the living room and before they entered, Zayn stopped.

 

“I think I saw Ray in the kitchen. I’ll just go be with him.” Zayn hurried back towards the kitchen as Ameera shot him a sad look. Gratefully, Ray was in the kitchen sipping out of his water bowl as Mary stirred a pot on the stove.

 

“Oh. Honey… I didn’t know you were coming,” Mary said with a small smile.

 

“Mary. Hi… I came to see Ray,” Zayn stammered.

 

Mary just gave him a small smile and nodded. She looked like she wanted to say much more, but she turned back to the stove. Zayn picked up Ray and pressed kisses all over the kitten’s head as he murmured about how much he had missed him. Zayn opened his bag and pulled out a stuffed mouse toy he had bought for Ray and let the kitten grab it with his tiny paws. Zayn heard a laugh which belonged to the man he loved. Liam. Zayn turned to the door and smiled lightly. His heart relaxed knowing that Liam was okay.

 

“He’s okay. He’ll have a nurse to help him out for a few days but he’s good. Liam broke his leg when he was 17 while riding mountain bikes with friends. He knows how to get around on crutches,” Mary said with a soft look in his direction.

 

“I wasn’t-” Zayn said with a shake of his head.

 

“I didn’t get these grey hairs for nothing sweetheart,” Mary replied. “I hope you know what you’re doing Zayn because the look in your eyes is telling me something completely different. I’m not going to tell you what to do, but please be careful.”

 

“So I hear,” Zayn murmured. “These eyes seem to give me away a lot.”

“They are beautiful eyes,” Mary pointed out with a smile. “I’m making dinner for everyone. Are you staying?”

 

“No. Definitely not. I can’t,” Zayn said quickly. “I’ll be out of here in a few minutes. I just wanted to make sure Ray was fed. I thought Liam would still be in the hospital.”

 

“Zay!”

 

Zayn spun around as a small body came colliding into him. He caught the tiny figure by surprise and looked down to see Lily. He had met Liam’s niece back when Liam’s family had invited him over for a dinner. The little four-year-old girl had been shy for most of the evening until Zayn had started discussing Moana and she had lit up. It had been impossible to withdraw her from Zayn for the rest of the day until Liam had pried her away and handed her off to Nicola and she had cried and cried. Zayn was surprised that she remembered him. But then again, he really wasn’t.

 

“Hi, sweetheart,” Zayn said with smile and picked her up. Lily grinned widely and pushed her curly blonde hair out of her face. Her eyes were blue and sparkling as she cupped Zayn’s face excitedly.

 

“Uncle Lee said you were… were not coming… but you are here!” She shouted happily.

 

“Oh. I just dropped by to check on little Ray here.” Zayn smiled and pointed in Ray’s direction who was running circles around Mary’s legs.

 

“Can I hold him?” Lily asked in a hushed voice.

 

“Sure love. Here.” Zayn reached down and scooped Ray up and then settled in a chair with both Lily and the kitten in his lap. Lily curled back into Zayn’s chest when Ray was more closer. She suddenly seemed afraid. “He won’t bite, Lily. Here, he likes to grab onto fingers.”

Zayn showed Lily how to hold out his finger and let Ray grab onto it. After she watched Zayn do it, she tentatively held out her own finger and gasped in surprise when Ray grabbed onto it playfully. She giggled and Zayn smiled. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. Her eyes crinkled like Liam’s when she smiled and it made his heart ache.

 

“Lills baby what are you up to?” Nicola walked into the kitchen and stopped when she saw Zayn. She gave him a small smile which was borderline awkward and Zayn wanted to run away.

 

“Hi, Zayn,” Nicola said. “How have you been?”

 

“Good, thank you. How are you?” Zayn asked.

 

“Good,” Nicola said. “Is Lily bothering you?”

 

“No, she’s a sweetheart,” Zayn answered with a smile and kissed Lily’s head.

 

“I want a kitten Mama,” Lily said with a big smile towards Nicola.

 

“No baby. Daddy is allergic,” Nicola answered and stroked Lily’s hair.

 

“Why did Daddy have to be allergic to kittens? Why not just milk like you are?” Lily said with a sad sigh.

 

“It’s lactose intolerance baby,” Nicola said with a laugh. “Now come on. Uncle Lee needs a bottle of water so do you want to take it to him?”

 

“Okay. Can we give him some chocolate too since he looks sad and whenever daddy gives you chocolate it makes you happy,” Lily said as she hopped down from Zayn’s lap.

 

“Lills,” Nicola said in exasperation. Zayn hid his grin behind his hand and turned away. “Here’s the water bottle. Now hurry back.”

 

Nicola grabbed a tray covered with a teapot and tea cups from Mary and made her way back to the living room. Lily held onto the water bottle in her much too tiny hands and eyed a jar of chocolate cookies on the counter. Zayn smiled and took a few out and handed them to her with a wink. When Lily dropped the bottle trying to balance her cookies, Zayn picked it up.

 

“You can hold onto the cookies and I’ll carry the water. Sound good?” Zayn offered.

 

“Thank you!” Lily hurried out in front of him and Zayn took a deep breath. It was a simple task. He was only going over to hand Liam a bottle of water. He could do this. Then he would leave.

 

With a tight grip on the bottle, Zayn walked towards the living room. He paused in the archway that was the entrance to the room. Liam’s parents were talking to Nicola and Evan. Ruth was occupied with Niall and Ameera as they all laughed about something. Then Zayn saw him. Liam had his leg stretched out in front of him which was in a white cast that was already covered with doodles and signatures. He had Lily in his lap who was in a fit of giggles. She was standing in Liam’s lap as he held onto her waist and turned her side to side.

 

“No, I think I saw the cookies hiding over there,” Liam said and turned her to the right side. “No actually over there.” He turned her to the left and Lily giggled harder.

 

“Nooo. They’re in the kitchen!” Lily said breathlessly.

 

“No baby I think they’re under the piano,” Liam said with a gasp. “Oh yes. I put them there so I wouldn’t finish them all.”

 

“Can I finish them?” Lily asked.

 

“Only if I can share.” Liam leaned forward quickly and bit off half the cookie in Lily’s hand and grinned as she gasped in shock.

 

“Meanie!” Lily said.

 

“Awww. But I love you princess,” Liam said and squeezed her as he sprinkled kisses all over her face. Lily turned into a mess of giggles again as Liam kissed her all over her face. Zayn hadn’t even realized that he had been standing there for a good two minutes as he watched them. His heart was tugging and a smile touched the corner of his lips.

 

The cold feeling in his hand reminded him that he was still holding onto Liam’s water. He slowly inched forward and as he came to a stop in front of Liam, the man looked up mid-laugh. Liam’s face slowly morphed from a smile to something neutral. He stared at Zayn for a few seconds in silence.

 

“Hi,” Zayn said slowly. Liam gave him a nod in reply. “How… how are you?” Zayn asked.

 

“Okay,” Liam replied. “As can be.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Zayn said softly.

 

“Not your fault,” Liam replied shortly. “My own recklessness and selfishness as people have pointed out.”

 

“You’re not- I mean… here’s your water,” Zayn said and held out the bottle.

 

“Thanks,” Liam said and took the bottle. “Good?”

 

“Yes. Fine. Came to see Ray,” Zayn responded. “I- I didn’t think you’d be back yet. I’ll go now.”

 

Liam nodded and looked away as he took a long drink from his bottle. He looked tired and incredibly worn out. All Zayn wanted to do was kiss him and massage his head and help him feel better. It ached to see Liam in pain and not be able to help.

 

“Are you leaving Zay?” Lily asked with wide eyes.

 

“Yes love,” Zayn replied gently.

 

“But can’t you stay? Mrs. Mary is making chocolate cake for dessert,” Lily pleaded, with her lower lip pushed out.

 

“No honey I can’t,” Zayn looked fleetingly towards Liam who, surprisingly, was looking right back at him.

 

“You can stay if you want. Lily wants you to,” Liam said quietly as he stroked a curl off Lily’s forehead. She leaned back into Liam’s chest and he kissed her forehead with a fond smile.

 

“I couldn’t impose,” Zayn murmured.

 

“You wouldn’t be,” Liam said.

 

Zayn paused and looked around the living room to notice that everyone had silenced and was watching them. When Zayn turned, they all snapped back to their conversations and Zayn’s cheeks heated up. This was going to be immensely awkward. But with Lily’s pleading blue eyes in front of him, he couldn’t say no.

 

 

**

 

 

“I don’t want to hear that you’re back at the office tomorrow. Two weeks at home. Do you hear me? And Mary will call me and let me know if you try to go to work. And your nurse will start tomorrow so take it easy honey.”

 

Liam sighed and gave his mom a small smile. She was holding onto his hand tightly like he might disappear into thin air any second. They were all sitting around his dining table having dinner. Liam sat at one end of the table and his mom was on his right side, lecturing him about how he needed to take care of himself. Liam just smiled gently at her because he knew she was just concerned. He could see in everyone’s faces how much his accident had terrified them. It made him feel a little guilty. Just a little. Because truthfully, it didn’t bother him. It had helped numb the internal pain to an extent.

 

Speaking of, Liam looked down the table to the other end where Zayn sat beside Lily and Ameera. They were smiling at some story the little girl told with exaggerated hand gestures. Zayn grinned brightly, making his nose and eyes scrunch. He covered his mouth on a laugh and Liam’s heart felt like it was being stabbed. Like on instinct, Zayn looked over and caught his eyes. He flushed a little and looked away, his face more serious suddenly. Liam sighed and pushed his plate away.

 

“I’m a little tired actually. So I’m gonna go lay down,” Liam said as he got up from the table. Everyone stopped eating as he got up. “You guys can continue eating. I’m gonna sleep though. Thanks for coming.”

 

“I’ll help you upstairs,” Niall said as he hurried out of his seat.

 

“I’ll be fine, Ni. Continue your dinner. I’ll see you guys later,” Liam said. He made his way around the table and when he neared Lily, he paused. Liam swooped down and kissed her head. She looped her arms around Liam’s neck and hugged him tightly.

 

“I love you sweetheart,” Liam murmured. As he looked over her shoulder, he caught Zayn’s eye who was looking at him with something indecipherable in his eyes. Liam grabbed his crutches from the corner of the room and made his way to his bedroom as swiftly as he could.

 

 

**

 

 

Zayn had no idea how he ended up staying for so long. Liam’s family had left a while ago. Karen had parted with a tight hug and a long look in her eyes that was the opposite from the hate Zayn expected. She had whispered to him that she hoped he and Liam figured things out and Zayn had to hold back his scream. Ameera and Niall had stuck around and started to talk to him, which was when Zayn figured out that they were dating. He had seen it coming but it was still a surprise. He was happy for them but like with Harry and Louis, he felt upset that they had hidden it from people to be sensitive to him and Liam. Zayn wished them happiness from the bottom of his heart.

 

Ameera and Niall had just left and Zayn was grabbing his bag, ready to leave, when the intercom in the kitchen buzzed. Zayn paused when he saw the light blinking beside ‘Master Bedroom.’ That was Liam.

 

“Mary, Niall, Ameera, if anyone is still there could you bring me some Tylenol and water. My leg is killing me,” Liam’s voice came over the speaker.

 

Zayn paused and contemplated leaving. No one else was here and when Liam got no response, he’d come to the same conclusion. But the idea of Liam in pain was tugging at his heart. And he couldn’t leave him like that. If he tried to come back down himself, he could aggravate the injuries. Zayn took a deep breath and grabbed the bottle of Tylenol and a water bottle before climbing the stairs. He paused outside Liam’s room door which was closed halfway. Zayn took a few calming breaths before knocking on the door and pushing it open slightly.

 

Liam was sat up in bed, with his hurt leg propped up on a pillow, and typing away on his MacBook. Zayn walked a few steps in and cleared his throat. Liam looked up and seemed slightly shocked when he saw Zayn.

 

“Zayn… you’re still here?” Liam asked slowly.

 

“I’m sorry. I should have left. Niall and Ameera started talking to me and I lost track of time. I was almost out the door when I heard you through the intercom and I thought you’d be in pain so I brought you the medicine.” Zayn stopped rambling and blinked at Liam who was watching him quietly.

 

“Thanks,” Liam replied in an even voice. He held his hand out and Zayn hurried forward. He dropped a pill into Liam’s hand and handed him the bottle of water. Liam swallowed it and placed the bottle on his bedside table.

 

“Now that you’re here… could you put those two pillows under my leg as well? I need to elevate it more,” Liam asked. Zayn nodded and grabbed the pillows from the other end of the bed. His hand shook as he gently lifted Liam’s cast covered leg and placed the pillows underneath. Liam winced and his fists clenched.

 

“I’m sorry! Did I hurt you?” Zayn asked frantically.

 

“No. You didn’t,” Liam said as he let out a breath. His face, tightened in pain, seemed to say otherwise.

 

“Can I do anything to make it better?” Zayn asked in a soft voice. Liam opened his eyes at that and a small, disbelieving, smile graced his face. Liam reached out and pushed a strand of hair off Zayn’s forehead.

 

“Your hair is getting longer,” Liam murmured.

 

“Oh. I guess so,” Zayn said slowly. His eyes were owlishly wide and he was unable to react as his skin tingled from Liam’s touch and his eyes locked with the man’s.

 

“You guess?” Liam laughed lightly. “It’s right in front of you. Do you not look in the mirror anymore?”

 

Zayn smiled back at him and for a few seconds they just gazed at each other with soft smiles. Then Liam’s face turned serious and his eyes roamed over Zayn’s face slowly.

 

“Liam,” Zayn whispered. He was suddenly very aware of his arm pressed against Liam’s leg. The fact that they were only a few inches apart. That his senses were filled with Liam’s scent. His eyes unable to look away from Liam’s deep brown eyes. Liam’s hand resting a centimetre away from his own.

 

“God… Zayn…” Liam sighed and shook his head. “You're breaking my heart. You're right in front of me, so beautiful, like the day we first met. But I can't touch you, or kiss you, or hold you. Because you're not mine anymore. And it kills me in more ways than one.”

 

“Liam…” Zayn dropped his head in defeat.

 

“You should probably go. It’s getting late. I can ask Patrick to drop you off,” Liam murmured.

 

“Okay,” Zayn said in a wobbly voice.

 

“Get back home safely okay?” Liam said.

 

“Okay,” Zayn said and stood up from the bed. “Take- take care of yourself Liam.”

 

“You too,” Liam said and he looked at Zayn with a heavy expression. “Goodnight.”

 

“Night,” Zayn said in a small voice. Then as he was about to leave he remembered the things he had brought for Liam. Zayn hesitated, feeling nervous. He reached into his bag and pulled out the few items. “I umm… brought a few things that help me when I’m bed ridden. Prevent me from getting bored. I thought you’d like them.”

 

“Thanks,” Liam said slowly as he took the items from Zayn. There were a few books. Novels and poetry books both. An adult coloring book that was supposed to be calming, with pencils, and a USB on which Zayn had put some songs which helped him feel better.

 

“Tapping into your old man from the early 2000s tendencies?” Liam asked with a small smile as he picked up the USB.

 

“Don’t,” Zayn muttered with a smile. “You’ll like it. It’s a couple of songs. I didn’t have like a free iPod or any CDs sitting around to put it on and sharing my Spotify playlist doesn’t seem as… solid… so I brought this.”

 

“Solid. Great choice of a word,” Liam laughed lightly. “Thank you.”

 

“When you say it like that it sounds gross. Like… you know… solid stuff…” Zayn said with a small laugh.

 

Liam smiled at him for a few seconds before he put the items aside. “Thanks, Zayn.”

 

“You’re welcome,” Zayn replied. “Hope you feel better.”

 

Liam nodded at him and Zayn grabbed his bag again to exit the room. His heart was fluttering for some reason but a deep pit was settling in his stomach. It felt so natural to be laughing with Liam but when he remembered the ugliness of their situation it made him want to throw up. Patrick was indeed waiting downstairs to drive him back to his dorm. Sitting in the backseat of the car, Zayn felt tears prick his eyes again. It felt as though his eyes had married the idea of tears and forgotten what being without them was like. Zayn pushed his sleeve up and touched the ‘Liam’ tattoo. It was the only thing that calmed him these days.

 

 

**

 

 

Liam gingerly touched the books Zayn had left behind. He had no idea what the boy was doing. He was a complete puzzle to Liam. When they had broken up, Zayn had been so full of hate for him and had said things that burned through Liam’s skin. Now he was acting almost normal around Liam. Okay with laughing with him and didn’t seem to entirely despise his touch. Liam couldn’t figure out what was happening. He sighed and picked up the books. The Great Gatsby. Liam smiled lightly although that one hurt a little given the memories. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Zayn always said it was his favourite out of the series. Carrie by Stephen King. Of course Zayn would throw in horror. Then a slim book slipped out from between the others and Liam picked it. It was quite worn out. ‘Pablo Neruda 100 Love Sonnets’ was written across the front. There was an abundance of flags and sticky notes covering the sides.

 

Liam touched the edges gently and he pulled open a random page where a blue sticky note was poking out. His heart stopped when he saw the words written over the sticky note. ‘Read this to Jaan.’

 

_‘I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.’_

Liam’s hands clenched the edges of the book tightly. Either Zayn was playing a sick prank on him. Or he had brought this book over by accident. And forgotten about the little notes he had left inside it. Liam flipped through the pages and stopped on another page randomly.

 

_‘So I wait for you like a lonely house, till you will see me again and live in me. Till then my windows ache.’_

Liam slammed the book closed and threw it down beside himself. Everything in his life was one big fucking joke. He looked around his empty room and wanted to scream. He had everything in this world but he had never felt more empty. None of this mattered in the slightest if he didn’t have the one person he loved more than anything in his life. No matter how hard he tried to push through life, it seemed more and more impossible.

 

 

**

 

 

“So…. Zayn. How’s my favorite, undiscovered should be a huge star doing?”

 

Zayn pushed the lid onto the iced coffee he had just prepared and pushed it down the counter towards Shalini. She was grinning at him and Zayn gave her a curious look.

 

“I don’t know. But if I see him I’ll ask,” Zayn replied.

 

“Oh fuck off. You’re so humble it’s annoying,” Shalini laughed. Zayn shook his head and smiled at her. He grabbed a carton of almond milk to prepare a latte and gave Shalini a curious look as she continued to lean against the counter.

 

“Did you need something else?” Zayn asked.

 

“I’m good for caffeine today. But I do need something from you,” Shalini declared.

 

“Oh man. Doesn’t sound good,” Zayn joked.

 

“Shut up. Listen. I broke the rules and listened to the songs you recorded-”

 

“Shalini!” Zayn exclaimed.

 

“Do your little angry rant later. I have an emergency,” Shalini interrupted.

 

“Oh are you asking Zayn about him singing at the show?” Zayn spun around to see Louis walking up to them with a big grin on his face as he wiped his hands on his apron.

 

“What?” Zayn spluttered.

 

“Thanks Lou,” Shalini groaned.

 

“Shalini. I’m not performing anywhere,” Zayn said in a firm voice and handed a customer their latte before spinning back to her. “No. Fucking. Way.”

 

“Zayn, please. Listen. I lost my male vocals when Akshay moved away for grad school. We’ve been doing okay so far because my bassist Qasim was able to sing the male vocals. But it’s been a little tough, in no offence to him, because his Urdu diction is a little weak. And our desi song covers have been suffering. I’m not asking you to come on full time but we are performing at Multiculture Night in a few days and we really, _really_ need strong male vocals for some of the covers. You are so fucking incredible and I heard your recorded cover of ‘Tere Bin Nahi Laage’ and my mind was blown. Please save me and my band from burning out in front of hundreds of people.” Shalini finished her rant with pleading eyes turned towards Zayn.

 

“Shalini… that is incredibly kind of you to say. But… I can’t. I can’t perform in front of people. I get really anxious and I just can’t,” Zayn replied apologetically. He felt awful. But the idea of singing in front of hundreds of people made his stomach twist and turn.

 

“I know. And I completely understand. But if you try this just once, maybe you’ll see that it isn’t too bad. And most students are drunk anyways at these events. The lights are also very bright so you can barely see them. Just close your eyes and imagine you’re in the sound booth and no one else is there,” Shalini suggested with some desperation in her eyes.

 

“Shalini… maybe we should find someone else for you,” Louis said as he noticed Zayn becoming pale.

 

“Okay. I’m sorry if I seemed pushy Zayn. Your voice is incredible and it makes me sad that I can’t hear you perform or sing along with you,” Shalini said.

 

“I…” Zayn sighed and rubbed his eyes. His anxiety told him not to do it. It told him to run screaming from this situation like it was a house on fire. But seeing his friend in need, and some strange feeling burning in his heart made his mouth start working. “What if I think about it?”

 

Shalini lit up and clapped her hands together. “Yes! Thank you!”

 

“I said I’m thinking about it,” Zayn warned.

 

“I know, I know. But I know you’ll come around. I’ll convince you,” Shalini said with a grin.

 

“You’ll be brilliant babe,” Louis reassured Zayn with a grin. Zayn nodded shakily as his stomach already started to twist. What had he gotten himself into?

 

 

**

 

 

“A Halloween party? Are you serious?”

 

Liam shook his head with a groan and hopped forward on his crutches to settle into a booth. Ameera grinned as she dropped down in front of him and tugged Niall down with his hand.

 

“Yes, you sad old man,” Ameera chided.

 

“Haha,” Liam replied deadpan.

 

“You’ve done Halloween parties in the past,” Niall reminded him.

 

“Yes but my parties were epic. You guys are already like this old married couple who live in the suburbs with their three kids and have boring sex and dress up like Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head before spending all of Halloween handing out candy to bratty kids,” Liam said with a smirk.

 

“Shut up asshole. And by epic you mean similar to every party of yours with alcohol, drugs and sex on every surface but with the exception of throwing costumes into the mix?” Ameera snorted.

 

“Yes. Clearly, you’ve never had spiked Halloween cocktails and then sex with a girl in a very elaborate mermaid costume,” Liam said with a wink.

 

“How do you know I haven’t?” Ameera grinned back at him.

 

“Okay… you two have a weird dynamic,” Niall said with a roll of his eyes and Ameera kissed his cheek. “And our party is gonna be good, Li. You have to come. In costume.”

 

“What costume goes with a leg cast?” Liam asked. “That’s right. Nothing.”

 

“Pirate who lost his leg at sea?” Ameera offered.

 

“Ex-military who lost his leg in war?” Niall suggested.

 

“Nothing to do with losing my leg guys. Jesus,” Liam muttered.

 

They paused as the waitress came over and deposited their food in front of them. Liam picked up his ice water and took a sip. He was nodding along to Ameera and Niall when his eyes flitted to the door of the café they were in. The door swung open and a familiar face walked in. The curly head turned in his direction and there was surprise in the boy’s expression. Liam nodded in greeting. Harry smiled, unsure, and walked over to them.

 

“Hi guys,” Harry greeted.

 

“Harry! How are you?” Ameera greeted.

 

“Good. Liam… how’s the… well everything?” Harry asked with a nod at his leg.

 

“Unfortunately, still alive,” Liam joked. When Harry’s expression fell, Liam gave him a small smile. “Morbid joke. Sorry. How are you?”

 

“I’m doing good. School is good, my channel is thriving, sex life is out of this world,” Harry said with a dimpled grin.

 

“Nice. And who is this out of the world sex with?” Niall asked.

 

“Oh… Louis… me and him… we’re together,” Harry explained with a slight flush.

 

“Oh nice. Zayn always said you two were pining too much,” Liam said with a smile. When everyone quieted down, Liam rolled his eyes. “Oh, unclench. I’m not gonna set on fire if I mention him. Anyways, I’m happy for you.”

 

“Thank you. I want you to know that Zayn… Zayn really cares about you. It’s complicated to explain but… please don’t be so harsh with him,” Harry said softly.

 

“Let’s not,” Liam said before looking away and taking a long sip of his water. He wished it were vodka instead but his friends and family were watching him like hawks at all times.

 

“Umm... so Harry… Niall and I are throwing a party this Friday night and we’d love for you to come. It’s at Niall’s family’s lake house outside the city but I can arrange for transportation for you guys. You, Louis… and Zayn,” Ameera said with a careful look towards Liam who ignored her look.

 

“Oh. Uhh…” Harry looked awkward.

 

“You have to come! Trust me, the house is great and the party will be awesome. You have to be in costume,” Ameera instructed.

 

“Oh. It’s not… actually… Friday night is Multiculture Night on campus. There’s a show and our friend is performing with her band. And… and Zayn is singing with them,” Harry explained.

 

“Zayn is singing?” Liam asked in surprise. “In front of a crowd?”

Harry smiled brightly and nodded. “He is. He’s really nervous and is considering backing out but we’re all encouraging him. The world deserves to hear his voice.”

 

“That’s wonderful,” Liam said in a low voice. Something like pride and love rushed through his body and he couldn’t help but smile.

 

“You… never mind,” Harry said quickly and tugged nervously at his coat.

 

“What?” Liam asked.

 

“You should come. If you can. It’s just that outside of me, his family and you, Zayn has never sung in front of anyone else. That side of him is so personal and vulnerable and on Friday he’s going to be showing it to hundreds of people. It would be encouraging for him if people he knows are there and uh… you’ll probably want to hear it and you know deep down Zayn would want you there” Harry said.

 

“No Harry. I _don’t_ know what Zayn wants,” Liam replied. He got up from his seat and walked away to the washroom on his crutches. Liam knew that he wanted to see Zayn sing. Of course he did. But his heart would tear to pieces if he went. And what Harry said… as far as Liam knew Zayn didn’t want anything to do with him. Why would he need Liam there? He wouldn’t.

 

 

**

 

_‘Cause you are, you are, you are my everything… you are… you are… you are my everything.’_

“God. I want to cry your voice is incredible,” Shalini squealed and hugged Zayn.

 

“Shalini…” Zayn groaned but a flush covered his cheeks.

 

“Okay, so you’ll sing those lines and then I come in with the Hindi part and sing Tum Hi Ho and you have to join me at the ‘chain bhi mera dard bhi...’” Shalini said as she flipped through notes.

 

“Okay,” Zayn said, nervously swallowing some water. They were in a music studio Shalini had booked for them to practice in before they performed the next day. Her band members were set to arrive soon but Zayn had requested Shalini to practice one on one with him so he could feel more comfortable.

 

“How do you feel about doing a solo song?” Shalini asked.

 

“What?” Zayn stuttered in surprise.

 

“Solo song. I have one without you as well and I think you have the talent to do a solo song,” Shalini encouraged.

 

“I can’t… I’m not as talented or professional as you to carry my own song. I might end up passing out,” Zayn explained.

 

“No. You won’t. Believe in yourself a little bit Zayn. You’re a lot stronger than you let on. You’ve been carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders these days and haven’t given anyone the slightest idea that you’re hurting. But I can see it. And babe, it will work wonders for your broken heart to channel your heartache into your singing,” Shalini explained softly.

 

Zayn blinked back his tears and looked down at his shaky hands. He stared at the bandanna tied around his wrist on the ink he hid from the world and kept close to his heart. Zayn took a deep breath and looked up with a shaky smile. “Okay. I have an idea.”

 

 

**

 

“What party?”

 

“Just a party. A Halloween party. And you have to dress up.”

 

Zayn turned around and gave Harry a pointed look. “Shalini and I go on at 7 p.m. How will we make it your party afterwards?”

 

“Well the hostess told me that it practically starts at 9 or 10 p.m. and runs really late. It’s outside the city so we’ll take an Uber but we’ll make it.” Harry finished styling his hair and grinned at Zayn.

 

“What hostess? Whose party is it?” Zayn asked suspiciously.

 

“Don’t be mad or upset. But it’s Ameera and Niall’s party. And yes… Liam will probably be there. But she insisted we come and I didn’t wanna say no. Plus, there will be so many people there so you won’t run into Liam,” Harry explained quickly.

 

Zayn blinked at Harry in utter shock. This was not the answer he was expecting. “Harry-”

 

“Please Zay. It’ll be fun. One only hears about the kind of crazy, kinky Halloween parties rich people throw but this is a great chance to see it in person,” Harry argued.

 

“That’s your reasoning?” Zayn sighed.

 

“No. I… I kind of just miss being around Niall and Ameera and the other guys. We had fun times and I just…sorry… forget I said anything,” Harry rushed out.

 

“Fuck. God, Haz. I’ve been so selfishly thinking about my own heartache that I’ve forgotten how this is affecting your friendship with Niall and the others,” Zayn sighed.

 

“No Zayn,” Harry said and hugged him tightly. “Don’t say that. You come first for me. Always. Above everyone. I just… I was being dumb maybe. I just wanted to have some fun,” Harry apologized.

 

“We can go,” Zayn murmured.

 

“What?” Harry asked.

 

“After the show. We’ll go to the party. But don’t leave me alone, I’d rather not get roofied again,” Zayn joked half-heartedly.

 

“Zayn…” Harry’s eyes turned sad.

 

“Kidding. Sorry,” Zayn mumbled.

 

Harry grabbed both of his hands and squeezed them tightly. He smiled gently at Zayn and adjusted his bow tie. “You look hot babe. And you’re going to kill it. Me and Lou are going to be in the front row so keep your eyes trained on us, okay? I might not understand the lyrics but I’ll be singing along in my heart.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that. Shalini told me that as a theme of the event there’s a screen above the stage where the lyrics for the songs being performed will be translated so everyone can understand what is being sung. We’ve got bands and solo acts singing in more than fifteen languages. It’s impressive,” Zayn said.

 

“And you’re going to be the star of the evening,” Harry said proudly.

 

“Stop Haz,” Zayn groaned.

 

“Your parents asked me to record it and send them a video,” Harry told him with a smile.

 

“Haz!” Zayn croaked in annoyance.

 

“What?! Your dad is so excited and proud of you too. Trust me babe, you’re going to kill it,” Harry affirmed.

 

Zayn took a deep breath and turned towards the mirror to take a final look at himself. Harry had dressed him for the evening and put him in a black button down, black fitted slacks, black suspenders and a black bowtie. He looked over dressed but Shalini had assured him that they were all going for a formal look so it tied in with the band. Zayn had been living in denial for the past few hours trying to ignore what was coming. But with the performance one hour away, Zayn wanted to throw up. He had tied a black bandana around his wrist to hide his tattoo. He took a few shaky breaths and closed his eyes.

 

“Ready?” Harry asked.

 

“Yeah. Let’s go.” Zayn gripped Harry’s hand tightly as they left the room. There was a flurry of anxiety in his body and he had the strongest urge to vomit. But deep down, deep, deep down, he was looking forward to it. This was the first time he had taken the plunge to do something his anxiety told him to avoid but he had really wanted. He let his heart win over his anxiety ridden brain and he felt proud of himself. With all of the ugliness in his life right now, this one step for himself felt good.

 

 

**

 

 

He had no idea what he was doing here. Liam looked out the window of his car from where he sat in the backseat and sighed. Crowds of students passed by his car, chattering and laughing as they walked towards the stage set up across the field. He had been sitting in his apartment holding the Pablo Neruda book Zayn had left with him. Liam couldn’t stop thinking about Harry’s words. How Zayn was singing tonight. How he was taking such a huge step and felt nervous. Liam couldn’t help how his heart tugged him here. Liam waited in the car for a while as he heard multiple artists and bands finish their sets. After some time, he made a decision to go out.

 

“I’ll be back in a bit Patrick,” Liam said.

 

“No problem. I’ll be here,” Patrick held up his iPad on which he was watching Downton Abbey and Liam grinned. He exited the car and used his crutches to walk down the open field. There were food trucks set up along the street selling diverse foods, the air laden with heavenly smells. People were either sitting on the ground or dancing to the song the current band was playing. It seemed like the event had been going on for a while because half of the crowd was already drunk. Liam found a tree and leaned against it so he could have a good view of the stage.

 

There was a massive screen above the stage where the lyrics were being displayed along with the translation. Liam thought to himself that it was a smart idea. Liam pulled out a cigarette and lit up. He took slow drags as he waited for the moment he could see Zayn sing. Zayn who had always doubted himself and the fact that he had such immense talent, was singing tonight. Liam couldn’t help the pride he felt. No matter what was between them, he was so happy for the boy.

 

Liam had been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t realized a new act was being announced. He heard loud cheers and looked up to see a new band setting up on the stage. Two figures walked on to the stage and positioned themselves in front of the mics. Liam’s heart skipped a beat. Zayn. He was dressed in all black, his hair pushed back with a careless strand in front of his forehead. Liam’s heart tightened. He could see Zayn’s hand shaking from here as the boy adjusted his mic. The girl beside him in a black dress came over to him and rubbed his arm soothingly which Zayn smiled gently at. Liam held his breath and prayed to whatever entity was out there that Zayn wouldn’t get too nervous. The first sound of the piano and suddenly the crowd seemed to silence. Liam kept his eyes locked on Zayn who had his eyes closed.

 

“I’m Shalini. And we’re Aks. Also, this is Zayn joining us for tonight. Here’s a little bit of country mixed with Bollywood to get y’all in the mood,” the girl beside Zayn said with a smile. The crowd cheered as the sound of drums joined the piano. Zayn seemed to be holding his breath and then he opened his eyes the exact moment he began to sing.

 

“It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now,” Zayn sang, his voice slightly nervous. People cheered which made the corner of his lips turn up. “Said I wouldn’t call but I lost all control and I need you now. And I don’t know how I can do without, I just need you now.”

 

“Tu Zaroori sa hai mujhko zinda rehne ke liye,” Shalini joined in on Zayn singing in Urdu. Liam looked up at the screen to see the translation read, ‘you’re vital for me, to stay alive.’

 

Zayn continued to sing lines from ‘Need You Now’ while Shalini sang the song in Urdu and in the last verse Zayn joined her and they finished off together.

 

“I just need you now,” Zayn and Shalini harmonized together and the crowd cheered so loudly that Liam saw the shock cover Zayn’s face as he realized how much people were enjoying it. A smile covered his face and Liam couldn’t help but smile softly himself. Zayn was beaming. He looked so happy. He looked proud and Liam was so immensely proud of the boy himself. If they hadn’t broken up, Liam knew he’d be front row waiting to sweep the boy off his feet with a kiss. But regardless, he was so happy that Zayn was doing this for himself. With everything that had happened, he deserved this.

 

Zayn had left the stage and then Shalini did a slowed down cover of Crazy in Love by Beyoncé interspersed with lyrics from a Hindi song called ‘Chura Liya.’ People were dancing along in the crowd as she sang and with Shalini’s sultry voice, people in the crowd were losing their inhibitions. Liam raised an eyebrow at a couple who were almost naked and moulded together like one. He checked the time on his phone and realized he needed to leave if he wanted to make it to Ameera and Niall’s party. But then he heard the music stop and Shalini was speaking into the mic.

 

“… he’s never sang for a crowd before and he’s going to do a solo song so please, please be kind to my friend. Please welcome back, Zayn!” She applauded and moved back as Zayn walked back onto the stage looking distressed. Liam leaned back against the tree, surprised that Zayn was performing alone. He watched as Zayn gave Shalini a nervous smile and settled onto a stool with the mic positioned in front of him. He seemed to be holding onto his left wrist tightly and kept looking down. Shalini spoke to her band for a few seconds who nodded to whatever she said. Then music filled the air and Zayn, nervous as ever, closed his eyes and started singing. Liam’s heart tightened as he read along to the words Zayn’s beautiful voice sang.

 

 _“Itni yaadein teri par tu mere saath hi nahin. Itni baatein hain par karne ko tu saath nahin (there’s so many memories of you but you’re not with me anymore. There’s so many things left to say but you’re not around to talk about them anymore),”_ Zayn sang softly. His voice was shaky but still so impactful that a hush fell over the crowd.

 

 _“Ab toh aaja saajnaa, mitaa de ye dooriyan, reh nahin main paaunga ik pal yun judaa, Sajna tere bina, sajna tere bina, sajna tere bina, sajna tere bina (please come back to me my love and erase this distance between us because I won’t be able to survive a single moment without you any more. Without you my love, without you my love, without you my love),_ ” Zayn’s voice cracked a little bit and Liam felt his heart burn. Zayn was staring down at his wrist as he held it in a death grip. From here Liam could see tears dropping out his eyes. The cigarette in Liam’s fingers burned him and he dropped it quickly. What was Zayn doing? What was he singing? Had he any idea the tear ripping through Liam’s heart?

 

 _“Saanu ik pal chain na aave, saanu ik pal chain na aave, sajna tere bina, sajna tere bina. Sadda kaleya jee nahi laggna, sadda kaleya jee nahi laggna, sajna tere bina, sajna tere bina (I can’t live a moment of peace, I can’t live a moment of peace without you my love, without you my love. My heart can’t go on without you, my heart can’t go on without you, without you my love, without you my love).”_ Liam felt tears burn in his own eyes as he looked between the words displayed on the screen and at Zayn’s face. The boy had his eyes closed as he sang his heart out. It was utterly silent otherwise as people watched him in awe. Listened to his voice in complete quiet. Zayn’s voice seemed heavy with pain and heartache. Which made Liam want to scream because he couldn’t for the life of him figure out why Zayn seemed to be singing a heart-breaking song while looking so torn up when he had chosen to walk out and crush Liam in the process.

 

 _“Har saans mein teri kami khhal rahi hai, lamhon ki tanhaai tadpa rahi hai. Raaton mein maayusi cha gayi, zindagi adhoori lagne lagi, sajna tere bina, sajna tere bina, sajna tere bina, sajna tere bina (every breath I take is filled with the reminder of your missing presence, the loneliness of these seconds is making me ache. The nights are now filled with disappointment, my life seems empty and meaningless, without you my love. Without you my love, without you my love).”_ Zayn took a staggering breath and untied a bandana he had on his wrist. He was staring down at his wrist as he sang and Liam had no idea what he was looking at. But he couldn’t think too much about it because he was so focused on Zayn’s pain filled face.

 

 _“Saanu ik pal chain na aave, saanu ik pal chain na aave, sajna tere bina, sajna tere bina. Sadda kaleya jee nahi laggna, sadda kaleya jee nahi laggna, sajna tere bina, sajna tere bina (I can’t live a moment of peace, I can’t live a moment of peace without you my love, without you my love. My heart can’t go on without you, my heart can’t go on without you, without you my love, without you my love).”_ Zayn’s eyes seemed to be staring far ahead from where he was sitting. But Liam felt like he had been shot in the chest. He could barely stand anymore. He closed his eyes and let his head fill with Zayn’s beautiful voice, and the pain it was causing him.

 

 _“Tere jeya pyaar mainu nahio labhna, tere bina soona laage saara jahaan. Tere baaju dil mera nahio lagna, mainu na pataa tenu hor ki dasaa. Mainu ni pata tenu hor ki dasaa (I’m never going to find a love like yours again, this whole world seems empty and sad without you. My heart won’t find love or peace after you. I don’t know what else to tell you. I don’t know what else to tell you).”_ Zayn finished off and there was silence for a few seconds and then the crowd erupt into the loudest applause Liam had heard all night. He looked towards Zayn who jumped and looked up in surprise. He seemed like he was waking up from a dream. The boy hastily wiped his eyes and tied the bandana around his wrist again. He smiled shakily at the crowd, his face clouded in disbelief.

 

The first thing Liam felt, was pride and happiness. The look on Zayn’s face and the people cheering for him made warmth rush through Liam’s body. Then he came to terms with the gut-wrenching pain he felt. Hearing Zayn sing again, and the words he was signing… it was utterly painful. And the worst thing was that Liam had no idea why Zayn looked so devastated while signing about lost love. It was unbearable. Liam took one last look at Zayn and then he grabbed his crutches and walked back to where Patrick sat in the parked car. Liam got into the back in silence.

 

“He was incredible,” Patrick said with a look in the rearview mirror.

 

“Just drive Patrick,” Liam murmured.

 

 

**

 

 

“You killed it! You fucking killed it!”

 

Zayn couldn’t help the smile that covered his face. He sat down on his bed and took a deep breath as Harry and Louis changed their clothes. He could barely catch his breath. His solo performance had been so emotionally draining that he thought he’d have a nervous breakdown on stage. He had sung that one for Liam and he’d sung from the bottom of his heart. He had been so out of it during his performance that when people applauded him he had been shocked back into the present. To remember that he was in front of people. Then Shalini had run onto stage to hug him tightly and congratulate him. They finished off with a duet, a mashup of Ariana Grande’s ‘My Everything’ and the Bollywood song ‘Tum Hi Ho’ which reminded Zayn of when he had sang it to Liam over the phone and his heart ached. The applause had been mind-blowing and Zayn felt like he might pass out. He had faced his biggest fear and it had been successful. This was unreal. He almost reached for his phone to call Liam and discuss it before he remembered the reality.

 

“Zayn? Aren’t you gonna change into your costume?” Zayn looked up to see Louis looking at him curiously.

 

“I don’t have one,” Zayn said.

 

“Don’t worry babe. I got you one when I got mine and Lou’s,” Harry said with a grin.

 

“What are you guys going as? And what did you get me?” Zayn asked.

 

“We’re going as Joker and Harley Quinn. And you are going as that chick you love from Game of Thrones,” Harry replied.

 

“Daenerys,” Louis and Zayn replied at the same time.

 

“How am I to be Daenerys?” Zayn asked with narrowed eyes.

 

“Well the costume shop had like half of a costume her character wears so I thought instead of Mother of Dragons, you could be Father of Dragons,” Harry said.

 

“Oh good Lord,” Zayn groaned into his hands.

 

 

**

 

 

Zayn looked down at his costume and had to give it to Harry. The boy had never watched Game of Thrones and gave no fucks about it but he had dressed Zayn really well as the ‘Father of Dragons’ as he put it. Zayn had on a costume mirroring a look close to what Daenerys had worn in Season 7. Leather pants, boots and a long leather jacket with a dragon pin on his chest. Harry had even put elaborate French braids through his hair. His costume looked good. But Zayn was so tremendously nervous he could barely breathe. They were in the backseat of an Uber as it drove them towards Niall’s lake house. Harry and Louis were murmuring to each other and kissing every now and then. Zayn was happy for them but it made his stomach sink with sadness as well.

 

They were now driving down a dirt road and the sound of thumping music was loud. They curved onto a driveway which was lined with endless amount of cars and the sound of music was deafening at this point. There were people on the grounds, despite the cold weather, and people bursting from the house. Zayn gulped. He had broken out of his comfort zone and sang in front of a crowd tonight. He could do this too.

 

“Come on babe,” Harry said as he tugged Zayn’s hand. Harry’s version of Harley Quinn was so incredible that Zayn couldn’t help but grin. Harry had gotten every detail correct. Even the fishnet stockings. And clearly Louis was into it given how he kept staring at Harry.

 

They walked into the house together and Zayn immediately wanted to cover his ears because the music was so loud. It was dark and there was a fog machine. The decorations were amazing and Zayn had to give it up to Ameera for pulling this together. There was a DJ and people were dancing all throughout the house. Everyone was in costumes that ranged from intelligent to wild. Zayn gripped onto Harry’s hand as they pushed through the crowd and walked out to the back.

 

The lake was glistening under the moonlight and there seemed to be a bonfire going. People were drinking and dancing out here too and Zayn could spot people skinny dipping in the distance despite the chilly weather. Zayn shook his head and followed the duo in front of him who kept giggling and whispering to each other.

 

“There’s Niall and Ameera!” Harry shouted over the music. He tugged Zayn along until they ended up beside an outdoor bar where Ameera and Niall were, talking to a few other people. They were dressed as Sonny and Cher and Zayn couldn’t help his grin.

 

“First off, Ameera you look gorgeous and Niall you look ridiculous,” Harry said with a laugh.

 

“Fuck off!” Niall shouted but he was grinning at Ameera as if in agreement that she looked gorgeous. She did look amazing in her long sheer dress with silver embellishments, fur boa and sleek black hair.

 

“You guys look awesome,” Ameera exclaimed at Harry and Louis. “Zaynie!” Ameera tugged him close and kissed his cheek. “What are you dressed as love?”

 

“I’m Daenerys… I’m the Father of Dragons…” Zayn said with a tug at his jacket.

 

“I love the hair! You look amazing,” Ameera replied but she shot Niall a look.

 

“What is it?” Zayn asked slowly.

 

“It’s just that… well it’s just a crazy coincidence… but Liam is Khal Drogo,” Niall said with an awkward clearing of his throat.

 

“What?” Zayn choked out.

 

“Well he didn’t have a costume so I went and got him Khal Drogo and I thought he’d appreciate it since he loves Game of Thrones. I didn’t know you’d dress as the counterpart,” Niall apologized.

 

“It’s fine,” Zayn murmured. Ameera started asking them if they wanted drinks and while Harry and Louis replied, Zayn started looking around. His eyes wandered across the grounds and he saw Miguel and Tom amongst the crowd. He was about to turn back when he spotted Liam. He was sat on a sofa beside the outdoor fire pit. His Khal Drogo costume was perfect. He had on brown pants with leather cuffs and belts, the blue paint stripes across his bare torso. Black rimmed his eyes. He was currently laughing and talking with some girl who was dressed as Sandy from Grease. She was whispering into his ear and running her fingers along his forearm. Zayn wanted to throw up.

 

Zayn excused himself from the others and when Harry shot him a curious look, Zayn shook his head with a smile and walked away. He walked towards the lake where there were less people. There was a gazebo which was currently empty. Zayn walked up the steps and settled onto a seat. He had a perfect view of the lake and the wind felt nice. Zayn started humming to himself as he tapped his fingers along to the rhythm.

 

“That’s a nice tune.”

Zayn looked up and saw some man he had never seen before. He was smoking and holding a beer bottle in his other hand. His costume seemed half-assed with just a leather jacket thrown on over a bloodied t-shirt. Zayn frowned when the man sat down beside him.

 

“You’re Liam’s ex right?” The man asked.

 

“Why?” Zayn said slowly.

 

“I saw you at that after party on his roof a few weeks ago. Thought you were pretty cute but I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself because well… you were with him. Now that he’s done what he always does and moved on-“

 

“Excuse me. But I’d like to be alone. And Liam didn’t leave me and move on, I left him,” Zayn said in irritation.

 

“Even better,” the man said with a grin.

 

“Kevin fuck off. You reek of disgusting desperation. It’s not a good look.”

 

Zayn looked back to see Liam approaching them. He had one crutch instead of two and he was glaring at this Kevin person.

 

“Aww. Relax Liam. When you’re done playing with a toy at least let someone else play with it,” the man snorted.

 

“I will rip you limb from limb and then you’ll lose the only intimacy your dick knows, that is with your hand. Fuck off,” Liam seethed.

 

Kevin raised his eyebrows and stood up. “Should do something about those rage issues Liam.” He left with a chuckle and Liam’s jaw was clenched like he was controlling himself.

 

“I don’t need protecting,” Zayn muttered when Kevin had left.

 

Liam huffed and shook his head before dropping into a seat beside Zayn. “I wasn’t protecting you. Kevin is an asshole and I didn’t want you to have to deal with this bullshit. I don’t even know what he’s doing here.”

 

“Sorry. I… I was just a little annoyed,” Zayn sighed.

 

“Are you… dressed as Daenerys?” Liam asked as he look over Zayn’s costume.

 

“Maybe,” Zayn said with a deep flush. “I- I didn’t know you’d be Khal Drogo.”

 

Liam snorted and shook his head. “The moon of my life.”

 

“My sun and stars,” Zayn whispered.

 

They sat in terse silence for a while in which Liam lit up and started smoking and Zayn stared across at the lake. “What are you doing here? What happened to… Sandy?”

 

Liam shrugged, unaffected, and tapped the ash off the end of his cigarette. “I saw you perform tonight.”

 

“What?” Zayn asked in surprise. “You- you were there?”

 

“Yes. Harry told me about it. I couldn’t help myself. You were performing in front of an audience for the first time and honestly you killed it. You were fucking incredible Zayn,” Liam smiled at him. The smile made Zayn’s heart flutter and his stomach swoop.

 

“Th-thank you,” Zayn whispered. “You saw it all?”

 

“Yes. Zayn… what was that solo song about?” Liam looked at him with something softer in his eyes and Zayn wanted to run. He had no idea Liam had been there and that’s why he had chosen such a heart-breaking song and poured his heart out. He had been in a vulnerable place on stage and he was afraid Liam had started thinking there was something behind it.

 

“It’s just a song, Liam,” Zayn said softly as he tugged at his sleeve. “I- it means nothing. Shalini chose it.”

 

Liam gazed at him for a few seconds and then he sighed. “Fine. I just- this may mean nothing to you but I’m so proud of you. You should be proud of yourself. You’re so talented and the way you put yourself out there must have taken alot of courage. And you blew everyone away.”

“Thank you,” Zayn murmured and smiled at Liam. “It means a lot.”

 

“Your hair… it looks really good. Did Harry have a hand in it?” Liam asked.

 

Zayn ran a tentative hand over the braids through the top of his head and smiled. “Yeah. He did. So umm… how’s your leg?”

“Better. Spend most of my time at home. I’ve been reading the books you gave me to pass some time,” Liam said. “By the way… you left a Pablo Neruda 100 Sonnets book in with the others. I’m guessing it was a mistake?”

 

Zayn’s heart stopped. Fuck. He hadn’t even noticed. He had that book marked with notes, some notes about Liam. Liam must have gone through it and it wasn’t any short of awkward. “I- that was by mistake…”

 

“Relax, Zayn. It’s okay. I know you must have written those notes back when… back when you still loved me. But it’s a brilliant collection,” Liam said.

 

“What- what’s your favourite?” Zayn asked, suddenly feeling nervous.

 

Liam smiled gently and leaned back further in his seat before looking at Zayn carefully. “The one that hurt the most to read. ‘I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.’” 

 

Zayn almost winced. That was a passage he had bookmarked because it was his favourite. And he wanted to read it to Liam. He associated it with him. Those words to him meant only Liam and his love to him. “A good one,” Zayn whispered.

 

“Love is so short, forgetting is so long,” Liam murmured. “But he was wrong in that case. Love is long. Love is eternal. And the fact that it never fades is what keeps the pain fresh… forever. And makes it impossible to forget or move on.”

 

“Liam… I’m sorry,” Zayn stuttered. He wanted to run into the lake.

 

“Don’t. Stop saying that. It doesn’t help. And honestly… you did what was best for your health. That’s all I ever wanted for you. Your happiness and health,” Liam replied in a tired voice.

 

“How… is Maheer?” Liam asked with some hesitation.

 

“I don’t know. I’m not with him… that was just… never mind. He took another job last I heard,” Zayn said. Liam gave him a strange look and just hummed in reply.

 

“Anyways. Next time you come over to see Ray, you can grab the Pablo Neruda book and your Great Gatsby copy too. I already own it and I know you treasure your copy,” Liam said.

 

“I know. It’s just that… you once said you enjoyed reading the notes I write in the margins. Kind of like commentary,” Zayn said with a sideways glance at Liam.

 

“I do. And your notes about Daisy are quite entertaining,” Liam said with a laugh.

 

“What? She’s my favourite character don’t be mean,” Zayn said and lightly smacked Liam. In the middle of a laugh the man caught his hand as if on reflex. He rubbed his thumb over Zayn’s knuckles tenderly.

 

Zayn suddenly realized that they were only a few centimetres apart. His breathing became shallow as he realized Liam wasn’t laughing anymore and was just gazing at him seriously, his eyes soft. He cupped Zayn’s cheek and rubbed a thumb over his sharp cheekbone. Zayn trembled slightly and closed his eyes as his face turned into Liam’s warm palm.

 

“Zayn,” Liam murmured. Zayn opened his eyes and noticed that Liam’s face was even closer. He took a shaky breath and licked his lips, watching Liam’s eyes trace the movement. Liam’s face was a breath away, their lips almost touching, when Zayn’s eyes flicked down to Liam’s leg cast and reality came crashing back to him.

 

“No,” Zayn pushed away and quickly stood up. “Don’t. Don’t do that.”

 

“I can’t figure you out. No matter how hard I try... I can’t. The things you say, the things you do, the songs you sing, the look in your eyes... everything is contradictory and I don’t know what you want me to think Zayn,” Liam said in a frustrated tone.

 

“Then stop. We’re not together. You don’t have to be figuring me out. I’m not changing my decision,” Zayn said and wanted to cry at the way Liam’s face snapped back to a cold look.

 

“Yeah. You’ve made that crystal clear,” Liam replied

 

“I don’t want to fight again,” Zayn said and buried his face in his hands.

 

“Well maybe the truth is that there is no middle ground. And you know what…seeing you all the time… it makes it more difficult,” Liam sighed.

 

“What… what are you saying?” Zayn asked.

 

“Just that if you really want this then we need to keep some distance. Seeing you, it hurts too much Zayn. More than that accident did. So maybe… you can visit Ray when I’m not there. And we can work from there,” Liam said.

 

“Fine,” Zayn whispered, his throat choked up.

 

“Fine.” Liam said in a final tone.

 

“I’ll go. Take care of yourself Liam,” Zayn said.

 

“You too Zayn. I really do mean it,” Liam replied.

 

Without looking back, Zayn turned and walked away back into the thick of the party, and away from the pieces of his heart on the ground.

 

 

**

 

 

“Why are you driving yourself crazy looking at that?”

 

Zayn slammed his laptop closed and gave Harry an even look. The curly haired boy was wrapping a scarf around his neck and giving Zayn a serious look, his eyebrow cocked.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Zayn replied and fell back against his pillows, lifting his textbook up to cover his face.

 

“You’ve been stalking Liam online for about a month now babe. You have to give it a rest,” Harry said.

 

“I’m not stalking him. I just… I just want to know that he’s okay,” Zayn replied.

 

“Yes because looking at tabloids pictures of him leaving a club in London with some model is you making sure he’s okay. This isn’t good for your health Zay. You decided not to be with Liam so now you need to move on. It’s what’s healthy for you,” Harry said.

 

“You won’t understand Harry,” Zayn muttered with a sigh. The last time he had seen Liam had been at Niall and Ameera’s Halloween party. A little over a month ago. They had parted with the decision to put some distance between themselves to make things easier. Zayn had expected that it would mean they would try not to cross each other paths and Zayn would only go visit Ray when Liam wasn’t home. What he hadn’t expected was for Liam to leave New York.

 

A week after the Halloween party, Ameera had called him to ask if he would be okay with taking on extra responsibility for Ray since Liam was going to be travelling for a while. At Zayn’s confusion, she had explained that Liam was doing his annual tour of all the hotels and clubs he had around the world to see how things were going and observe any changes he needed to make. It usually lasted a month but apparently, Liam planned on staying in Vegas for a while as well to take care of things for the new casino. Zayn had been silenced. He couldn’t have imagined not seeing Liam for so long, despite the fact that they weren’t together. Zayn had been checking up on Liam through his social media accounts and the tabloids. It didn’t help that Liam was spotted partying and leaving clubs with people in every city he went to.

 

“You coming to the game?” Harry asked as he pulled his shoes on.

 

“No. I have to study for finals. My grades haven’t been the best since… since shit happened… and I need to do really well on my finals if I want to keep my scholarship,” Zayn replied and started flipping through his notes.

 

“Babe. All you do is study these days. You’re going to do well. You’re so smart its infuriating sometimes. And your Biology exam isn’t for a week and a half so you can afford to take a break,” Harry said with a pointed look. “Plus, Louis will be really upset if you don’t come watch him play.”

 

Zayn felt guilty because he had missed the past two games Louis had been in. Their football team had been having a brilliant season and Louis was amazing. He wanted to be a supportive but he had been so stressed about bringing his grades up and thinking about Liam that he had been the complete opposite of supportive.

 

“I know. I’m sorry. Fuck. I’m the worst friend ever. I’ll come with you.” Zayn got up from the bed and grabbed some clothes to change into. “Are you going home this weekend?”

 

“Yes. Actually, this weekend Louis is coming with me. He’s gonna meet my family,” Harry announced with a huge smile.

 

“Haz, that’s amazing. Good for you guys.” Zayn smiled and hugged Harry tightly. Harry grinned and tossed Zayn his jacket.

 

“I know. We’re getting pretty serious and I… well I love him Zee. I just don’t know if he does,” Harry said.

 

“Haz are you crazy? Of course he loves you. Who wouldn’t love you? And I’ve seen the way Louis looks at you. He’s so gone for you. You should tell him babe. I think he’s just holding back because you know Lou. He’s not the first to admit his feelings out loud. And trust me, holding back from admitting your feelings does nothing but cause anxiety. Telling the person you love how you feel and hearing them say it back… the feeling is incomparable to anything in this world,” Zayn said.

 

“Thanks babe,” Harry replied although he stared at Zayn in slight concern. “Are you going home?”

 

“No I need to get a lot of studying done. Plus I have to visit Ray because with Mary on vacation, he’s even more lonely,” Zayn answered. “Maa and Baba are coming to visit and bringing me food on Sunday. But let me know how your dinner goes. You’ve never brought a boy home.”

“I know. I’m so fucking nervous,” Harry moaned. Zay laughed and tugged him in to kiss his cheek as they walked out of their room.

 

 

**

 

“Hi bubs!” Zayn dropped his backpack onto the floor and scooped Ray up to smother him with kisses. Ray nipped him in excitement and Zayn giggled. “I missed you too jaan. Let’s have lunch.”

 

Liam’s living room was swathed in darkness and seemed so empty and cold given the fact that nobody had been living here for more than a month, other than Zayn’s daily visits to Ray. Zayn moved around the living room and used the remote to open the blinds and let in sunlight, then he turned the TV on. To make it fell less like a graveyard. He brought Ray’s food bowl and water into the living room and pulled out his own Chinese takeout so they could eat together. Zayn took out his textbook and started studying as Ray nibbled on his food beside him. They had just finished their food and Zayn had cleaned up so he could play with Ray for a while, when he heard a beeping sound and the main door being opened.

 

Past experiences made him freeze up in fear for a moment because no one was supposed to be here. Mary was on Vacation with her family and Ameera was out of town with Niall. Zayn held his breath as voices filled the corridor and then suddenly, to his shock, Liam walked into the living room. He was on the phone and carrying some luggage as the doorman from downstairs carried another suitcase.

 

“Well next time I’m in London we should grab drinks. It’s a shame you weren’t there this time. The opening of our newly renovated club went incredible,” Liam was talking into his phone with a smile and when he saw Zayn he screeched to a halt. Zayn felt that his own mouth was hanging open. One month and four days. Since he had last seen Liam.

 

“I will call you back Kira.” Liam shut his phone and stared at Zayn silently for a few seconds, the boy stared back.

 

“Should I just leave them here Mr. Payne?” The door man asked with a clearing of his throat.

 

“Oh. Yes. Thank you so much Charlie I really appreciate it,” Liam replied as he snapped back. Charlie put down the suitcase and walked away. They continued to stare at each other in awkward silence until Zayn heard the door close and he quickly stood up.

 

“Hi,” Zayn said in a low voice.

 

“Hey,” Liam responded before he dropped down onto a sofa.

 

“Ameera said you wouldn’t be back for another two weeks,” Zayn remarked, surprised at Liam’s early return.

 

“I decided to come home for a few days to take care of a few things before I went to Vegas,” Liam responded.

 

“Oh. That’s uh… good. I umm… I was checking on Ray. You said I should so… I don’t like show up for no reason,” Zayn rambled.

 

 Liam gave him a confused look. “I know that Zayn.”

 

Zayn nodded and wrung his hands nervously behind his back. Liam pulled out his phone to text someone and Zayn took the moment to take him in. His chest fluttered as he took his first close look at Liam in weeks. The man had walked in and his familiar scent had surrounded Zayn. His hair was longer and was slightly curly and pushed back. His beard was trimmed neatly. Zayn let his eyes track down Liam’s body and through the few open buttons on his shirt, Zayn could spot some new ink on his chest. He looked back up at Liam’s face and noticed that the man was watching him. Zayn’s eyes widened and he flushed a little bit as a smile tugged at the corner of Liam’s lips.

 

“How has Ray been?” Liam asked as he picked up the kitten to kiss him.

 

“Good. So good. We have a very well behaved little one,” Zayn said.

 

“That we do,” Liam acquiesced as he stroked Ray’s back. “God, I’m starving.”

 

“Oh. Well Mary has been on vacation and since you haven’t been here for a month there’s no food in your fridge. But I brought Chinese takeout with me and only ate half. Did you... if you want I can heat it up for you,” Zayn offered and swallowed nervously.

 

“It’s okay. I’ll just order something,” Liam said.

 

“No honestly. I’ll get it for you. You’re probably tired.” Zayn quickly walked away to the kitchen. He didn’t know what he was doing. They were supposed to be keeping their distance. Max and Jason had been quiet since Zayn went along with the Maheer kiss plan. Maybe that was lowering his inhibitions and being around Liam made him weak to his feelings again. He knew he needed to be careful but his heart was weak right now.

 

Zay was so caught up in his thoughts that as he grabbed the plate from the microwave, he realized it was too hot and dropped it with a gasp, it clattered against the counter and food went everywhere. The plate broke on the floor and took a glass jug of water with it which also shattered to pieces on the floor.

 

“Fuck!” Zayn dropped to the ground and quickly started to grab pieces. One of the broken pieces sliced his palm and he gasped in pain as blood spluttered out. What Zayn hadn’t noticed earlier was that Ray had followed him into the kitchen. When Zayn gasped in pain, Ray who had been drinking out of his water bowl, came pattering forward as if in concern. The kitten meowed and had no sense of all the broken glass. He walked right over and stumbled as the glass pierced through all his paws.

 

“Ray! No stay back!” Zayn screamed and shot forward to grab Ray. But he was too late because the kitten cried out in pain and confusion and fell down as blood spread onto the floor underneath him.

 

“No, no, no!” Zayn picked up Ray in panic and tried to examine his paws but the kitten mewled in pain. There were glass shards stuck in all four of his paws and blood was soaking his white fur. Zayn cried out hysterically and tried to touch the glass but Ray retracted his paw. The kitten was physically shaking in Zayn’s arms. Zayn was so absorbed in his concern about Ray that he hadn’t noticed his own palm pressed flat into the tiny shards of glass and how his own blood was soaking the floor as well.

 

“Jaan, oh my God bubs what have you done?” Zayn cried. He didn’t know what to do. What was he supposed to do? Zayn looked towards the door of the kitchen as tears streaked his own face and Ray writhed in pain.

 

“L-Liam!” Zayn croaked as his voice cracked. “Liam!” When there was no response Zayn screamed louder in sheer hysteria. “Liam!”

 

There was the sound of a door opening and then footsteps pounding down stairs. Liam ran into the kitchen looking concerned and when he saw the sight in front of him, his eyes almost bulged from his head in shock. Zayn noticed that he had changed his clothes and was still haphazardly tugging his shirt down.

 

“What happened?” Liam shouted and slid down to his knees as he came to them.

 

“He’s hurt! The glass... he came in... I didn’t know… he’s hurt!” Zayn cried out in panic.

 

“Fuck. It looks bad. His blood is all over you too. Let’s go to the animal hospital.” Liam helped Zayn up and they rushed towards the door. Liam pulled on his jacket and shoes, Zayn barely remembering to pull just his shoes on.

 

“Is he gonna be okay?” Zayn asked through a cloud of tears as they rode down the elevator.

 

“I hope so,” Liam answered, stricken himself, as he stared at Ray in Zayn’s arms. Zayn wanted to scream. Why did every fucked up thing keep happening to him and those he loved?

 

They went straight to Liam’s section in the parking garage and Zayn climbed into the passenger seat, holding Ray close to his chest and barely being able to breathe as Liam shot out of the garage, driving insanely fast as he rushed to get to the animal hospital.

 

**

 

Liam had barely put the car into park before Zayn was shooting of his seat and running into the animal hospital. Liam could tell that Zayn was having a panic attack and he was barely keeping it together. But Liam shared the panic. Ray’s white fur was soaked in blood and at first the kitten had been crying and shaking in pain but he had quieted down right before they got to the hospital. The blood loss was insane. Liam’s white leather seats were covered with it.

 

Liam ran in after Zayn and saw that the boy was stammering out an explanation through tears to the receptionist at the front desk. She was looking at Ray in shock and nodding along to what Zayn said. Liam came up beside Zayn and squeezed his arm lightly to help calm him. Zayn looked up at him in tears.

 

“He may have lost a lot of blood. Can you help him now? Please?” Liam asked in a firm tone

 

“I’ll take him. You guys have a seat. Does he have insurance?” The woman asked.

 

“He does and we’ll take care of everything but please treat him first,” Liam urged. The woman carefully took Ray from Zayn’s arms and walked away to one of the rooms marked with a number. There was a page that was sounding over the speakers for a doctor and Liam turned around to see two people sitting in the waiting area with a dog, looking at them in shock.

 

Liam heard a shaky gasp from beside him and he looked towards Zayn to see that the boy was spacing out as he stared unblinking towards the room where Ray was, his face covered in tears and his body shaking. “Zayn. Zayn, breathe. Breathe.” Liam slowly took Zayn by his shoulders and turned him around. The boy’s pupils were dilated and his breathing was ragged. He was pale as a sheet and he shook before collapsing into Liam’s chest with a cry.

 

“It’s my fault. It’s all my fault. Our baby is hurt because of me. I- I won’t forgive myself if something happens to him.” Zayn clung to his shirt and cried into his chest. Liam wrapped his arms around Zayn and hugged him tightly.

 

“Sweetheart it is not your fault. Please breathe for me,” Liam urged. He moved Zayn back and kissed his forehead, unthinkingly, as a wave of emotion swept over him seeing Zayn so distressed. “Come on Zayn. One, two, three deep breaths.”

 

Zayn looked up at him with eyes flooded with tears and took a shaky breath. He almost choked on it and he closed his eyes taking deeper breaths. Liam cupped his face and softly instructed him to take deep breaths until Zayn seemed to calm. The boy was shaky on his feet and collapsed against Liam again. Liam held him tightly and looked down to his chest where Zayn’s fists were clenching his shirt tightly. Liam’s brows furrowed as he noticed fresh patches of blood blooming on his white shirt from where Zayn held him tightly. Streaks of blood were going from Zayn’s palms, down his wrists.

 

“Zayn…” Liam moved him back and gingerly took his hands to open them, palm up. He sucked in a breath as he noticed that Zayn’s palms were soaked in thick, red blood. Tiny pieces of glass were sticking out of his skin and Liam could spot multiple cuts that were bleeding. “Zayn! Fuck, you’re hurt.”

 

“I…” Zayn stared at his palms and looked like he was about to be sick. He was pale and wavering on his feet. Liam felt fear and shock rip through him as he realized Zayn was hurt and the boy hadn’t even noticed in his concern for Ray.

 

Liam spun back towards the front desk and noticed the receptionist from before walking back. “Excuse me. He’s hurt and needs to be bandaged up. There’s small pieces of glass in his hands and he’s bleeding out like crazy.”

 

“Sir, this is an animal hospital. There is a clinic down the road where you can get bandaged up,” she said apologetically.

 

Liam felt anger burst through him. Zayn was hurt and he couldn’t keep it together. “Are you telling me that you can’t spare a few bandages and someone to take out the glass from his hands? You’d rather he pass out from the blood loss?” Liam shot out.

 

“Liam,” Zayn murmured and staggered on his feet. Liam wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him close. Zayn looked pale as a sheet and he dropped his head to Liam’s chest.

 

“Sir I-“

 

“Just fucking- Please. He’s hurt. Please just help him,” Liam ground out through clenched teeth.

 

“Okay. I’ll see if a doctor is available.” She hurried away and Liam quickly turned to Zayn to lift his hands and inspect them again. Zayn was shaking and seemed to be turning paler from the blood loss. Liam kissed his head and held him close.

 

“Just breathe Zayn. Someone will be here to bandage you up,” Liam said.

 

“My hands are going numb. And it hurts,” Zayn whispered into his chest in a tight voice.

 

“I know baby, I know,” Liam murmured soothingly and rubbed Zayn’s back as he glanced back to see where the hell the woman had gone.

 

“Sir?” Liam turned back to see the receptionist. “Please come this way. The only physician here today is attending to your cat but the nurse will be with you in a few minutes and she can bandage you up.”

 

Liam nodded and took Zayn’s elbow, since his hand was injured, and led him to the room where the receptionist was waiting. She let them in and closed the door behind them. Liam went over to the tissue box and ripped out a bunch to hold them to Zayn’s hands.

 

“It hurts,” Zayn gasped and winced in pain.

 

“I’m sorry. I know it probably hurts love but I need to stop the blood. Come here.” Liam sat down on one of the chairs and pulled the other one closer so Zayn could sit down but the boy swayed on his feet and sat down into Liam’s lap instead. Liam paused for a second in surprise but looking down at Zayn’s pale face he knew the boy was out of it. Liam lifted Zayn’s hands up so he could hold them up straight and not clench them into fists, making the glass embed deeper.

 

“It hurts,” Zayn cried out through clenched teeth.

 

“I know but you have to keep your hands straight because you’re making the glass push in deeper,” Liam explained softly and kissed Zayn’s temple as he closed his eyes in pain.

 

“Distract me from the pain,” Zayn said shakily and turned his head to bury his face in Liam’s neck. “P-please.”

 

“Okay. Did you know that Niall and Ameera joined me in Toronto last week and I walked in on them going at it?” Liam said as he stroked Zayn’s hair away from his pale, sweat covered forehead.

 

“R-really?” Zayn asked in a weak voice. “Naked and everything?”

 

“Well half way,” Liam said with a small laugh and Zayn grinned into his neck. Zayn’s hands were trembling from holding them straight so Liam slid his hands underneath Zayn’s arms so he could drop the weight and Liam held them up straight over Zayn’s lap.

 

“I might pass out, Liam,” Zayn whispered tearfully into his chest. “And what about Ray?”

“Stay awake for me baby. And Ray will be fine. I promise.” Liam kissed his forehead and Zayn opened his eyes and looked up at him. Liam leaned down and kissed Zayn’s cheek and murmured reassurances to him so he’d stay awake.

 

“I brought macaroons from Paris. I know you love them and when I passed by a shop I couldn’t stop from buying some,” Liam told him in order to keep him distracted.

 

“If there’s no salted caramel flavour I’ll hate you,” Zayn joked weakly.

 

“There’s five,” Liam replied with a soft smile in Zayn’s direction. Zayn smiled and blinked his eyes to stay open. He kissed Liam’s neck, just a light press of his lips and closed his eyes again.

 

“Hello. Sorry for the wait.” The door burst open and the nurse rushed in, breaking the serenity they were in. Zayn sat up slowly and Liam held onto his hands in an upright position.

 

“Can you get on the table for me hun? I’ll get you bandaged up,” the nurse said.

 

Zayn nodded and got up on wobbly legs. Liam stood up and helped him onto the table with a hand to his back. The nurse tuned his hands over gently and her eyebrows popped up when she saw all the blood. Liam was about to sit down but Zayn shot his hand out and grabbed onto Liam’s hand, wincing from the pain. Liam squeezed his wrist gently and stood by him as the nurse cleaned the blood from his hands and disinfected them. When she grabbed some tweezers to take the glass out, Zayn’s eyes widened and he started breathing shakily.

 

“Hey,” Liam said gently. “Look at me.” Zayn looked at him and Liam cupped his face gently. “Did you know that there’s a small café in Monte Carlo that’s modelled after The Great Gatsby? And they have some first editions on display.”

 

“Really?” Zayn asked, sufficiently distracted from the nurse extracting glass from his hand.

 

“Mhm.” Liam said with a smile and pushed Zayn’s hair off his forehead. It was getting long and it looked beautiful. “They have live jazz bands all the time too.”

 

“That’s so cool. Do the servers wear appropriate costumes?” Zayn asked and winced as the nurse pulled out a piece of glass.

 

“Yes. They do,” Liam answered with a smile.

 

“I want to go there,” Zayn said with a hum.

 

“You will,” Liam said. When Zayn flinched violently from the pain, Liam rubbed his back soothingly and kissed his head.

 

“I don’t think you need stitches. I’ll just bandage you up now. I’ll have to remove this bandanna to clean the blood,” the nurse said.

 

“No! Please! Don’t remove the bandanna!” Zayn shouted frantically. Liam looked at him in surprise and noticed that the nurse was just as surprised.

 

“Zayn?” Liam asked.

 

“Liam, I just… please. It’s important. I don’t want to remove it,” Zayn explained hastily.

 

“Okay. Okay. He’ll clean that blood himself at home. You can just bandage him up,” Liam told the nurse. She nodded and took some gauze to wrap Zayn’s hands up. The boy still looked slightly pale and Liam rubbed his arm. When the nurse was finished, she patted Zayn’s knee and smiled at him.

 

“You’re a trooper. Just like your cat,” she said.

 

“Ray. How is he?” Zayn asked.

 

“He’s good. The doctor has removed the glass and he gave him stitches. The paw pad is a very sensitive part on a cat and the injury was bad. He’s going to have to wear the bandages for a while and get them changed daily. Plus, you have to limit his on feet time. He’ll have some pain medication too. You can go see him. He’s sedated right now and the doctor will explain the rest. You also need to change your bandages too until your cuts don’t heal. They will sting but you can apply some balm, it’s over the counter, and take pain medication,” she explained.

 

“Thank you so much,” Zayn said as he stood from the table.

 

“No problem. Although your boyfriend here terrified our receptionist a little bit,” the nurse said with a laugh as she opened the door to lead them out. Zayn shot a fleeting look to Liam as their reality came crashing back to them. During those few minutes in the room they had forgotten where they were or the past they had. But now it was tense again.

 

They were led into the room Ray was in where the doctor was finishing up some paperwork. Ray was sleeping on the table and his tiny paws were wrapped in bandages. Zayn rushed forward and ran his own bandaged hand over Ray’s fur. Someone had cleaned the blood out of his fur. Zayn leaned down and kissed Ray’s head. Liam walked forward and ran gentle fingers over Ray’s hurt paws. The veterinarian explained to them how they needed to care for Ray and the medication he needed. Liam nodded along since Zayn seemed occupied with Ray. He finished up the paperwork as Zayn sat on a chair with Ray in his lap.

 

When they finally left and walked out of the clinic, it was dark outside and snowing very lightly. Liam looked to Zayn who was shivering in his t-shirt. In his frenzy, the boy had forgotten his jacket. The December chill was sharp. With a shake of his head, Liam took off his own jacket and draped it over Zayn’s body. He didn’t need to catch a cold along with his injury. Zayn settled into the passenger seat with Ray in his lap and Liam started to drive. They sat in silence. Liam was halfway to his own place when he realized something.

 

“Did you need to be dropped off at your dorm?” Liam asked.

 

“Is it okay if I stay at your place tonight? I can’t leave Ray just yet. I’ll sleep on the sofa and be gone tomorrow,” Zayn asked in a whisper.

 

“Don’t be ridiculous. There’s five guest rooms. And stay as long as you need to with Ray,” Liam replied with a quick glance at Zayn. The boy smiled tiredly and started to nod off immediately. His head dropped to Liam’s shoulder and Liam drove with one hand while keep his other arm around Zayn, so his head wouldn’t fall.

 

When they were parked in the garage, Liam turned and looked at the sleeping bodies in his passenger seat. A boy that he loved more than anything and their cat who they both loved. Liam ran his fingers through Zayn’s longer strands of hair and pushed it off his forehead.

 

“Zayn… Zayn we’re here,” Liam said softly and rubbed his arm. Zayn sighed in his sleep and opened his eyes slowly to blink at Liam.

 

“Are we home?” Zayn murmured.

 

Liam paused and didn’t have the heart to correct him. “Yes. We’re home. You can sleep once we get upstairs.”

 

Zayn nodded and got out of the car, lethargic and groggy. He was still holding Ray close to his chest. Liam pressed the lock button on the remote of his keys and then put a hand on Zayn’s back to steady him as he walked towards the elevators. They were waiting for an elevator, Zayn leaning heavily against Liam, when Liam heard the sound of a car. He looked back and saw a discreet black car pass by them, slowing down when it was near them, on its way to the exit. Liam stared at the car with a furrowed brow and then it suddenly sped up and drove away. He had a weird feeling but the door to the elevator opened and Zayn was stumbling in so Liam followed him. He forgot about the car almost immediately.

 

When they got into his penthouse, Liam immediately led Zayn into the guest room. Zayn smiled at him tiredly and climbed under the covers. “Mmm. Why are all the beds in your place so comfortable? It’s like sleeping on a cloud. My dorm bed feels like I’m sleeping on a bumpy rock.” Liam chuckled and draped the comforter over Zayn as the boy settled Ray in beside him.

 

“You can take this mattress with you,” Liam said with a grin. “Now both of you injured boys need some rest okay?”

 

“Okay,” Zayn yawned and his eyes closed immediately. “Missed you. Missed you so, so much.”

 

Liam paused in confusion and stared at Zayn. What was he doing? Once again, the signals he was sending were so mixed. Liam’s mind felt chaotic. But for the night he pushed it away. And he settled down onto the sofa opposite the bed so he could watch over Zayn and Ray in case they needed anything. He knew they were broken up and Zayn had been clear he didn’t want to be together. But with the way Zayn was behaving now, Liam was confused and his heart urged him to see what was going on. And of course, despite everything, he would give his life for Zayn. And because of that very reason, he found himself lying awake all night, checking up on the boy anytime he whimpered in pain.

 

 

**

 

Zayn awoke to a soft ball of fur rubbing against his face. He opened his eyes and came face to face with Ray’s blue eyes.

 

“Bubs,” Zayn murmured and kissed Ray’s head. He lifted Ray onto his chest and gently lifted his paw to inspect it. Zayn’s heart panged as he thought about the pain Ray was probably in. He looked at his own bandaged hand and it stung a little bit but he knew he’d be fine. There were also bigger issues. Him and Liam. The old pattern they had fallen into yesterday. Zayn got up from the bed and picked up Ray to make his way downstairs.

 

He walked into the living room and found Liam awake, wearing just a pair of sweats, setting up fences around the rug in the living room. Zayn paused awkwardly and stared at Liam for a few seconds before he cleared his throat. “What’s this?” Zayn asked.

 

Liam turned around and gave him a small smile. “It’s for Ray. He’s not allowed to be on his feet too much so I thought setting up fences would make sure he doesn’t wander but also gives him some room to move around comfortably. His bed and food are in here too.”

“Good idea,” Zayn said and couldn’t help his smile. He moved towards the fenced off area and leaned down to put Ray into the bed Liam had set up. There was already a bowl of food waiting and Ray hobbled forward to start eating.

 

“He’ll be fine right?” Zayn asked.

 

“He will be. And how are your hands?” Liam asked as he turned to him.

 

“Okay. They sting a little but otherwise okay,” Zayn answered with a shrug.

 

“Let me see,” Liam said and gently took his hands. He touched the palms ever so lightly and looked up at Zayn. “Okay?”

 

Zayn felt breathless. “Okay.”

 

Liam rubbed the palms gently and looked up at him again. “Still okay?”

 

Zayn nodded and swallowed. “Okay.” He couldn’t help but stare at Liam’s bare chest. There was indeed a new tattoo on the right side of his ribcage. It was tiny and was a moon crescent. Zayn had no idea what it meant but it looked good. And then, to his increasing shock, he saw that Liam had a tiny nipple piercing.

 

“You… you got a new tattoo? And- and a nipple piercing?” Zayn asked. The wires in his brain were burning out because not only did the ink look good but the piercing looked incredibly sexy.

 

“Yes,” Liam replied. Zayn realized that they were just holding hands now. Liam wasn’t checking his injury anymore. Zayn looked up and felt breathless because Liam was looking at him like that again. Like he was his entire world. Like he was the most precious person in the world.

 

“Liam,” Zayn murmured and moved even closer to rest his hands against Liam’s chest.

 

“Zayn,” Liam said just as softly and cupped his face. Zayn started to inch his face closer and Liam had tugged him more near, when suddenly the shrill sound of Liam’s phone interrupted them. Liam sighed in irritation and pulled away to grab his phone from the sofa. Zayn gulped and lifted a shaky hand to his face to rub his eyes.

 

“What is it?” Liam said as he picked his phone up. “… what? What the fuck?”

 

Zayn’s heart beat faster as he stared at Liam wondering what was going on. Liam was holding his head in complete shock. He watched as Liam’s face morphed through different emotions.

 

“I’ll take a flight out. See you in an hour,” Liam shut his phone and threw it aside. He rubbed a hand down his face and sighed deeply.

 

“What happened?” Zayn asked, fearing the worst.

 

Liam looked up, his face heavy and dark. “There’s been a fire on site for the casino. The damages aren’t too much but there’s damages nonetheless. And it’s pushing our initial deadline. We’re going to lose a lot of money.”

 

Zayn felt sick. Of course. Of course this had something to do with Max. He must have known Zayn was spending time around Liam. And that they were on okay terms again. He couldn’t believe himself. His own weakness had brought them here again. Zayn thought Max had faded away and decided to leave him alone. But clearly not. This was a message that he would continue to hurt Liam.

 

“I have to leave,” Zayn rushed out and turned to run towards the door.

 

“What? No. Stop Zayn! We have to talk!” Liam shouted and ran after him.

 

“No! I can’t talk. There’s nothing to talk about. I’m so stupid. What was I thinking? This changes nothing.” Zayn yanked his shoes on and grabbed his jacket and backpack. He winced as the cuts on his hands got irritated.

 

“What are you talking about? Things are different Zayn. Yesterday in the vet’s office? Just now?” Liam asked him with confusion on his face.

 

“No! It’s not. And I can’t keep risking people’s lives like this,” Zayn said tearfully and struggled to pull open the door.

 

“Zayn, stop!” Liam said in frustration.

 

“No Liam. Can’t you see? Can’t you see what’s happening? Every time I become a little weak something happens again. I can’t risk it. I can’t keep risking people’s lives, it’s selfish of me. You- I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Zayn gave Liam one last tearful glance and left the penthouse. He couldn’t believe what was happening. And once again, he knew it was his fault. He had fucked up and Liam was paying once again.

 

 

 

**

 

“Evening Mr. Payne.”

 

Liam looked up from his laptop and nodded at the man who had just walked in. “Hey, Ryan.”

 

Ryan pulled a brown envelope out from his bag and set it down on Liam’s desk in front of him. “I’ve started cataloguing Max Freeman and his brother’s moves. There’s a detailed list of their schedule and the recent business deals Max Freeman has been negotiating for. But there’s something I thought you should know…” Ryan shot Liam a careful look and cleared his throat.

 

“Well?” Liam asked impatiently.

 

“They… they have been keeping a careful watch on someone… Zayn… Zayn Malik. And I realized it was your ex-boyfriend so I thought I should let you know. They have someone discreetly watching his every move and they know where he goes and what he does,” Ryan explained.

 

“What?” Liam said through gritted teeth.

 

“Yes. Max Freeman has someone stalking his every move. Even waiting outside his dorm hall,” Ryan said.

 

“Thank you,” Liam said, trying to remain calm. A million and one thoughts were running through his head. Max. Zayn. Zayn’s recent behaviour. And now this.

 

“I have a few calls to make.”

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading and I hope you liked it. Those of you who came into the chapter hoping the angst would be resolved, I am sorry but like I said before, the angst is here for a little while more. But honestly there's only like 5 (maybe 6) chapters left of this fic so it's not that long :( Thank you once again for the love and support and getting me over 1000 kudos I appreciate it so fucking much and I love you all <3 If you feel down after this chapter I wrote a fluffy drabble which takes place in the fic back when ziam were not broken up yet and its under the CHFILWY Drabbles part. It's a thank you for the 1000 kudos :))
> 
> -Songs used in the chapter:  
> \--drop in the ocean by ron pope (Zayn sings it in the hospital)  
> \--need you now by lady antebellum (the first song zayn sings in his performance)  
> \--tu zaroori from ZiD (the song shalini adds on to need you now)  
> \--chura liya from yadon ki barat (shalini mixes it with crazy in love by beyonce)  
> \--abh toh aaja saajna by akul (zayns solo song he sings and its a modern remix of NAK's sanu ik pal chain na aave)  
> \--my everything by ariana (last song they perform) mixed with tum hi ho from aaqhiqui2
> 
> Okay, now I need to say a few things and I considered not saying it all because I don't want to sound rude or negative but it's been dragging me down mentally for too long and I need to address it. Guys please please please stop leaving comments saying you hate the fic or abusing the story/characters or even being negative towards me because that is not cool at all. The thing with fanfiction is that it is provided completely for free... it's not like netflix or spotify where you're paying for a service and can demand things to be your way if you don't agree with the content. Fic writers are free to write whatever they like and they choose to share it with you, if you don't like it or agree then theres a million fics out there you can choose to read so why waste time writing negative comments to let an author know you hate their fic or storyline? All that does it effect me (and other writers) mentally and it makes me not want to write and its not fair to me or the readers who do like this fic because when I feel frustrated and dont write, then i dont update and people are left waiting. Of course theres other reasons for updates to be delayed like recently ive hurt my eye and couldnt look at a screen but this is a BIG factor. Please, please dont make me feel shitty about my fic, something I choose to write and share with you for free. I'm okay with people expressing sadness over the angst i appreciate all comments but what I dont appreciate is angry or rude comments abusing the fic or saying you hate it but still wanna see how things turn out. That's very passive aggressive. I know ziam's relationship in this fic isnt the most healthiest but its a fic for gods sake, its heightened reality and things are dramatized for a reason, to make it intriguing. This isnt supposed to be 'goals' or 'ideal.' And I purposely put heavy angst cus I WANT to write it even if it frustrates people (which im sorry about) or seems unrealistic. It's just a fic, its not supposed to be perfect and the characters are human, they have flaws too, theyre not perfect. If you dont like it then dont make yourself angry, upset or anxious. For your own health just choose a fic which makes you happy. But please dont write me an extensive comment telling me you hate it for xyz reasons. It makes me feel like shit and I hate feeling that way. Feel free to express yourself in the comments, I LOVE reading them, but if you're about to leave a rude comment telling me you hate the fic and the story im writing and you would do it another way, take a second to think about how crappy it makes the person on the other side feel. I really hope I didnt come off rude but this had to be said :((
> 
> Thank you for reading this fic regardless and showing it the extensive support you guys do and I seriously love you all. And I really hope to get the next update done soon because it is a pivotal chapter and I'm looking forward to it. Thank you again, love you <33


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I know it's been a while but I think by now you guys know I don't have a set updating schedule because I get busy and there's alot going on and I try my best to fit in writing whenever I can. Don't worry, even if a few weeks pass between updates, that doesn't mean I've stopped writing. I am seeing this fic to the end and I am proud of how far I've come :) Thank you so much for all your lovely comments on the last chapter where I expressed my feelings about rude comments. I was busy at first and wasn't able to reply to each comment but just know i read each and every one of them and they matter so much to me. The positive ones literally light my day and the rude ones.... well I've already said what they do. And there's still some people being passive-aggressive and I don't even think they know what they're doing (you know who you are) and I want to reply sometimes but I've decided to ignore it for now because I don't have time for sassy comments like that. And for anyone who apologized, thank you it means a lot :) ANYWAYS, i hope you guys enjoy this chapter and I love you and thank you sooooo much for your support, seriously you guys are incredible :)
> 
> ***TW: warning for some violence and main characters getting injured.

 

 

_“Just follow me.”_

_“Baby, I have a Skype conference call in literally ten minutes. What do you need to show me?”_

_“It’s a surprise.”_

_Zayn threw a grin over his shoulder as he tugged Liam along. Liam shot him an inquisitive look but Zayn just squeezed his hand and lead him to the stairs. A hoard of paperwork had kept Liam cooped up in his office all day long. He felt bad because he had asked Zayn to come spend the weekend at his place and then he had been hit with a lot of work and had spent most of his time in his home office. Zayn had popped in a few minutes ago and told Liam to follow him downstairs for some ‘surprise.’ Zayn’s slightly nervous smile but bright eyes had him intrigued._

_“Now close your eyes.” Zayn leaned up on his toes and swept his palm over Liam’s eyes. Liam smiled and caught Zayn’s wrist to pull him into a blind kiss which made the boy laugh lightly before he tugged away and pulled Liam forward again._

_“You may think it’s dumb… it-it probably is dumb… but I wanted to do something special because you seem stressed and I just had this sudden idea. So, umm… you can open your eyes.”_

_Liam opened his eyes and felt a little taken aback at first, but then he grinned so wide that his face ached. They were stood in his living room with the lights off, and in front of him was a massive fort constructed out of sheets, duvets, pillows and Christmas lights. The sofas and tall bar stools made the sheets drape and create a perfect roof. The maze of lights around the fort gave it a magical look. A flap that led inside showed a preview of a pillow heaven. Music played softly in the background in time with the flicker of candles. Liam turned to Zayn with a smile, the latter who was fidgeting with a nervous energy._

_“I brought Paris to your living room,” Zayn uttered quietly._

_“C’est magnifique,” Liam exclaimed with a laugh. Zayn smiled with a heavy flush and Liam tugged him forward to kiss his temple._

_“It’s not too silly?” Zayn asked softly and looked up at him._

_“Not at all. Je t’aime,” Liam murmured and kissed him softly._

_Zayn smiled and wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck. “Umm… Je t'aime de tout mon coeur,” Zayn said with only a slight bending of the words and accent._

_Liam chuckled and pecked his nose. “Adorable,” he replied in French and Zayn grinned._

_“You only have a few minutes so come in quickly,” Zayn said and turned to the fort._

_“That’s what she said,” Liam snorted._

_“Oh, grow up babe,” Zayn scolded with a slight roll of his eyes._

_“What? It was right there,” Liam countered with a smile._

_Zayn shook his head and sighed, but with a fond smile. With a quick tug, he pulled Liam into the fort. Liam grabbed him around the hips and peppered his neck with kisses, making Zayn giggle. They fell onto the ground of Zayn’s created fort and Liam looked up at the sheet roof. Lights tinkled across the white linen and hand drawn stars lit up with them. Zayn curled up on his chest and Liam kissed his forehead._

_“You’ve quite the imagination my little artiste,” Liam murmured and rubbed his hand along Zayn’s goose-bump covered back under his shirt._

_“Is it nice? That’s Ursa Major,” Zayn said rather shyly and pointed at a constellation he had drawn onto the roof._

_“People say that there’s an absolute limit to love. That you either stay there or fall backwards and feel less love as time goes on. But I fall in love with you more and more every day. Beyond any absolute that may exist,” Liam whispered. He turned Zayn over to press him into the pillows and capture his lips in a kiss. Zayn let out a soft sigh and curled up towards him and opened his mouth to let his tongue tangle with Liam’s._

_“You’re my infinite like the stars in the universe,” Zayn whispered with a smile as Liam kissed along the edge of his face._

_“Oh we’re playing that game are we?” Liam asked with a grin._

_“Which one?” Zayn giggled, feigning ignorance. Liam pinched his chin gently and bit his earlobe before pecking his lips. “Fine I’ll take pity on you and let you win today. Your absolute beats my infinite for today.”_

_“Beyond absolute,” Liam corrected and kissed his neck. Zayn hummed and closed his eyes. Liam smiled and pushed up Zayn’s shirt so he could kiss down his torso. “What are the other constellations you drew?”_

_“Mmm…. Well over there we have Centaurus which is a pretty cool one…” Zayn sighed as Liam kissed his stomach._

_“And what-“ Liam was interrupted by his phone ringing and he pulled it out of his pocket with a groan. It was his Skype call coming in. He cut it off and typed in a message quickly. Zayn gave him a curious look and Liam smiled. “I told them to give me ten minutes.”_

_“Jaan, you don’t have to keep them waiting. I’m distracting you, I’m sorry. You can go,” Zayn said and kissed his cheek._

_“In ten,” Liam replied and wrapped his arms tightly around Zayn to pull him into his chest and kiss him all over his head._

_“Well if you’re gonna slack anyways…” Zayn rolled away to reach under a pillow and he pulled out a box of macarons. He sat up with a smile and handed one to Liam before biting into one himself._

_“How could it be Paris without macarons?” Zayn asked with a grin._

_“What would be my_ life _without Paris?” Liam asked fondly as he cupped Zayn’s face and kissed his forehead._

_“Not the best,” Zayn teased. “But alright.”_

_“Not alright darling. Nothing.” Liam pulled him into his lap and kissed Zayn’s laughing mouth. He melted into it and went completely pliant in Liam’s arms. Liam kissed him endlessly until the salted caramel taste from Zayn’s tongue was tangled in his own senses. Zayn’s whimpers were urging Liam to press him into the pillows once again but his phone started ringing incessantly._

_Liam groaned irritably and grabbed his phone. “Okay. I have to take this unfortunately. I will wrap it up quickly and then I’m going to come find you.”_

_“I’ll be here. In Paris,” Zayn said with a smile and lay back on the pillows. “And I’ll have hot cocoa as well. With marshmallows for myself and none for you ‘cus you’re weird like that.”_

_Liam flicked his nose and kissed his smiling lips before he started to leave. “Jaan?” Zayn called out. Liam paused and turned back to him._

_“This infinite heart will always be here for you,” Zayn said softly. “Because infinite doesn’t end.”_

_Liam smiled softly in his direction. “Even if we burnt to ashes, my beyond absolute love would remain for you baby.” Liam winked at him and left the fort as Zayn smiled bright and beautiful._

Liam looked at the empty spot where Zayn’s fort had been a few months ago. The cocoon of love they had been in the rest of that night had felt so safe and isolating. It had been just the two of them and nothing else in the world had existed. Now a gaping hole existed in that spot, in the rest of his home and his heart. His phone buzzed in his pocket and Liam pulled it out.

 

“Yeah?” He said as he picked up.

 

“I got an address,” Niall said from the other end.

 

“See you in ten,” Liam replied and shut his phone.

 

Liam left his apartment and went down to his garage to get into his car. He exited the building and started driving. He was operating like a robot because he had to keep the burning fire under his skin at bay. He wouldn’t lose his cool like before. No. This time, he knew exactly what he was doing.

 

**

 

 

“CeCe’s,” Niall said with irritation in his voice as he got into Liam’s car.

 

“Has the balls must say,” Liam muttered.

 

“And Li-“

 

“I know Niall. I know. I know what I’m doing,” Liam cut in. He gave Niall a reassuring pat on the shoulder and pulled the car back into the street.

 

 

**

 

Entering the burlesque club, there was the sound of hypnotic and sultry music filling the air. The lights were turned down quite low which meant a performance was midway. Liam could see the dancers on stage moving in a graceful and seductive manner as they danced with everyone’s eyes on them. But he couldn’t pay it any mind. He was looking around for the one person who he hated more than he had ever hated anything in his life. He felt a tap on his arm and turned to his right to see Niall motioning towards a corner. Liam clenched and unclenched his fist, then slowly made his way towards the spot.

 

Max was sitting in one of the velvet covered booths with a girl draped across his side as he whispered into her ear and ran a discreet hand along her thigh. Liam dropped into the seat across from him and folded his hands onto the table in a calm manner. Max looked up at the intrusion and looked completely shocked at Liam’s presence at first. But it quickly morphed into confusion and irritation.

 

“Payne. What the fuck do you want?” Max questioned.

 

“I should be asking you that question. I told you if you were spotted near any of my clubs ever again I would rip you apart,” Liam replied.

 

“This isn’t your club,” Max shot back.

 

“Yes. It is. I’m the investor. It’s my friend CeCe’s club. But since you pulled up some ounce of courage from your pathetic soul to be here, why don’t we have a chat,” Liam said.

 

Max looked towards Liam and then at the girl beside him. He seemed like he was contemplating whether he wanted to talk in front of his companion or walk away. His ego had always been bigger than he could handle. He took a sip of his drink and stared back at Liam.

 

“About what?” Max asked in a deliberately confused tone. “Life falling to shambles?”

 

“I bet your mother wishes every single day that she didn’t give birth to a worthless fuck like you. Shame that she endured so much pain to only bring a waste of space and a pig like you into this world,” Liam replied evenly and signaled the waitress for a drink. The girl beside Max was trying to hide a smile behind her hand and she grinned at Liam really quickly. Max slid away from her in irritation and glared at Liam.

 

“You should fuck off Payne because I’m not in the mood to break your face tonight,” Max spat.

 

“Ah. Not in here. No one would want to see you walk out without your arms,” Liam reminded him with a raised brow. He threw a glance at the girl beside Max to emphasize that Max especially wouldn’t want his friend to see him walk out half alive. Ironically, the girl was just giving Liam a tiny smirk like she seemed amused by Max being insulted.

 

“Do you want something? Or are you desperately trying to dole out your misery in the aftermath of losing Zayn?” Max said with smugness.

 

“Keep him out of your fucking mouth,” Liam said in a voice that was even but edged on dangerous. “And speaking of…” Liam pulled some pictures out of his jacket pocket and tossed them in front of Max. “You have five minutes to explain to me why the _fuck_ you and that brother of yours, who lives up your ass, are stalking Zayn. I know that you’ve been following him places and keeping a watch on him. He’s not with me anymore so you have no reason to be going after him. So tell me why. Or otherwise I will drag you to the back alley and beat it out of you.”

 

Max watched him for a few seconds and then a smile tugged at his lips. “Heartbreak hurts, doesn’t it? It feels like a gunshot wound that you can try and stitch up, but you keep getting shot in again. Again and again in the same spot no matter how many times you try to patch it up.”

 

“What are you insinuating? Because if I find out that you had a hand in everything, I swear on every entity there is out there, I will make your life a living hell,” Liam threatened in a low voice.

 

“What are you threatening me for? Didn’t your precious boyfriend leave you because he was sick of your shit? Intelligent boy. Realized on his own that you weren’t worth it,” Max threw back.

 

“All you need to know Max, is that you need to watch your back. I know you’re up to some shit. And my first warning is for you to back the fuck away from Zayn, otherwise you know what will follow. And my second warning is to be prepared for the hell about to come your way. You brought all this pain into Zayn’s life and my life and now… now you’ll know what real pain feels like.” Liam finished off with a last swig of his drink and got up from the booth.

 

“You know Payne, maybe this is just your karma catching up. And besides, someone once told me that heartbreak is a part of life. C’est la vie,” Max said to him.

 

Liam gave him a terse look and leaned down a little closer to Max. “Keep your own words in mind. Because this is far from over.” Liam walked away from the table and towards the bar where Niall was chatting with CeCe.

 

“Liam!” CeCe exclaimed and pulled him in to kiss his cheeks. “You guys should have told me you were coming I would have reserved a front booth for you.”

 

“Don’t worry CeCe. Close to the bar is just as good enough,” Niall joked as he sipped his drink. He shot Liam a curious look to which Liam just shook his head shortly and picked up a drink the bartender had poured for him.

 

“You didn’t bring the boy with the pretty eyes?” CeCe asked. Liam tensed up and turned towards the stage where a new performance had started. Bella was dancing lead and as she removed her silk gown, she smiled at Liam. He returned a small grin and she turned to continue dancing.

 

“That is a long story,” Niall murmured to CeCe. “Did you want to stay Li?”

Liam shook his head and swallowed the rest of his drink. “I’ll see you Cee. I’ll come around soon.”

 

“You better,” CeCe replied as Liam hugged her. “Let’s do dinner sometime as well.”

 

“Of course.” Liam gave her a small smile and headed out the door. He noticed that Max’s spot was empty. The parasite had probably crawled back into the hole he came from. But Liam couldn’t tamper down all his anger and frustration at what he had recently found out. Max was still going after Zayn. Zayn had left him because of everything Max and Jason had caused, all because of Liam, and those vile humans were still not leaving him alone. Liam couldn’t figure out if there was something much deeper going on here or if they were still trying to push his buttons. But one thing was as clear as day. Max had unleashed hell into Zayn’s life and caused him pain. Pain that Liam couldn’t bear to see on his face. And that pain had caused Zayn to leave him and shatter his life. Max would pay for everything he had caused. And by God, it wouldn’t be easy on him.

 

 

**

 

 

“How’d your exam go?”

 

Zayn hung his jacket onto the hook in his locker and shrugged his shoulders. He turned to face Louis as he tied his apron around his waist. “It was alright. I could have done better.”

 

“Don’t beat yourself down. I’m sure you did great,” Louis reassured him with a pat on the back.

 

“Thanks Lou. How was your final presentation?” Zayn asked as they both walked to the front of the café to start their shifts.

 

“Good. You know that dumbass kid from my group who flaked on the work? I called him out on  it in front of the class and the prof made note of the fact so that asshole isn’t getting the same mark the rest of us did,” Louis said.

 

“A little harsh but I guess he deserves it,” Zayn said with a small laugh.

 

“But guess what?” Louis said excitedly. “We’re both done! And with Harry’s last exam tonight, we’re all officially free! We should do something to celebrate.”

 

“Like?” Zayn asked as he started preparing drinks.

 

“Well we can go to Red… Harry tells me you guys have VVIP cards?” Louis said cautiously.

 

“No.” Zayn’s tone was firm and Louis sighed for a second but he had an understanding look on his face.

 

“Alright, alright. How about Pink Flamingo?” Louis was talking about a small club downtown that was mostly frequented by students and was slightly above being labelled seedy. Zayn wrinkled his nose and shook his head. Louis gave him a look before he turned to start taking orders at the till.

 

“You guys can go if you want. I’m going home tomorrow morning anyways so I’m gonna go pack after my shift,” Zayn told him as he added whipped cream to a hot chocolate.

 

“Well we’ll still do something tonight anyways. Maybe go out for dinner. When are you back?” Louis asked.

 

“In a few days. I still have work,” Zayn answered. He was busy preparing a customer’s latte and he didn’t hear the bell ring above the door to the café. It wasn’t until he heard Louis’ softly muttered ‘oh’ did he look up. Zayn almost sprayed whipped cream everywhere as he saw Liam, Niall, Ameera and a woman he had never seen before, enter the café. They all seemed dressed for work and walked in talking as they headed for a table.

 

Zayn didn’t even think, and on some instinct, he ducked into the back. He gripped his apron tightly and wrung it with nervousness. He was pacing back and forth when Louis walked in with a strange look. “What was that about?” Louis asked.

 

“I don’t know. I just… I don’t know why I ran back here. It’s just that the last time I saw Liam, we had a weird moment where we got really close and almost kissed and I can’t face him right now,” Zayn croaked.

 

“Babe… acting like this will make him think something is up. Just act normal. If you plan on continuing to avoid him and not confront whatever this is, then hiding back here will make it worse. Just stand your ground. Although it would be healthy to talk your issues through but I know you won’t listen to that. So just act cordial and you should be fine,” Louis assured and Zayn nodded. “Okay. Now get back out there because that new kid Oliver is messing drinks up.”

 

Zayn smiled as Louis rolled his eyes and followed him back out. When they got back to the front, Louis headed back to the till and Zayn headed back to his corner to make drinks. He peeked over at Liam who was talking quite seriously about something and Niall was running a frustrated hand through his hair. Ameera was typing away on her iPad and the woman beside Liam was laying out some papers.

 

“Zayn?” Zayn turned to the left and saw Oliver juggling some drinks. The boy was nice enough but he messed up way too many drinks which meant Zayn ended up doing more work around him. “Could you help me carry these drinks and sandwiches to that group of people over there?” Oliver motioned to Liam’s table. “They already ordered and paid it’s just a lot of food to carry by myself.”

“Umm… sure,” Zayn replied slowly. He took some of the drinks from Oliver and they walked over to the table of four. Liam had removed his suit jacket and rolled up his sleeves. Zayn’s eyes pinged on the ‘Zayn’ tattoo so starkly visible against the man’s skin where his arm was draped over the back of his booth. Zayn’s own covered tattoo was burning.

 

“Hi guys. Sorry for the wait,” Oliver said and deposited his items onto the table. Zayn walked up slowly and put his drinks down as well. Liam was leaning his head back with his eyes closed as he ran a hand through his hair and when he opened his eyes they blinked right at Zayn.

 

“Zayn! Didn’t know you were working today sweetie,” Ameera said and squeezed his hand. Zayn smiled at her and Niall, avoiding Liam’s eyes completely.

 

“I’ve picked up some extra shifts here and there,” Zayn replied. “Umm… enjoy.”

 

“Zayn.”  Zayn had started to walk away but he heard the deep, smooth voice he loved say his name and he paused in his tracks. He turned slowly to see Liam looking at him.

 

“Y-yes?” Zayn asked.

 

“You’ve got…” Liam pointed at something but then he stood up and came up to Zayn and paused behind him. Zayn’s eyes widened as he felt a butterfly like touch on his back and then something tightened lightly around his waist and he realized Liam was tying his apron. When he finished, he touched the small of Zayn’s back lightly and moved away.

 

“Your apron was untied,” Liam told him before he settled back into his seat.

 

“Thank you,” Zayn murmured and quickly dashed back to his spot behind the counter. He busied himself with cleaning down the counter and avoided Louis’ knowing look. Oliver came up to Zayn and peered at him curiously.

 

“That’s Liam Payne. Do you know him?” Oliver asked curiously.

 

“Yes… well I sort of… used to… kind of… date him,” Zayn replied awkwardly.

 

Oliver’s eyes widened. “No wonder you look so familiar! I’ve seen you on his Instagram! Dude what happened? Why’d you break up? Have you seen that man?” Oliver said with an appreciative look thrown towards Liam.

 

Zayn wanted to dump the iced coffee he was holding on Oliver’s head. “Yes, well life happens Oliver. Do you mind bringing more coffee beans from the back?” Oliver nodded and walked away. Zayn sighed and leaned against the counter, the wash cloth clutched in his hand. He kept finding himself in these situations with Liam when he was trying his best to avoid him. Zayn rubbed a hand down his face and turned back to continue working and he caught Liam’s eyes across the café. The man was watching him in a casual manner as he barely paid any attention to what the woman beside him was saying.

 

Liam tapped lightly on his cheek and then pointed at Zayn. Zayn felt a little flabbergasted as his mind immediately assumed that Liam was asking for a kiss. He stared back in confusion and Liam motioned more slowly to Zayn and then his cheek and made the motion of rubbing something. Zayn quickly touched his cheek and came away with some chocolate. He flushed hard and deeply red. Liam grinned and turned back to his conversation. Zayn checked his reflection in the side of the coffee machine and realized he had chocolate on his cheek. He rubbed it away vigorously.

 

“Even when you guys are broken up you can’t stop your insane eye flirting and sexual tension,” Louis said with a small snort.

 

“Shush!” Zayn whispered and busied himself with cleaning the display of pastries. His blush didn’t cease for the next hour.

 

Liam and the others ended up sticking around for a few hours as they talked and poured over some papers and compared things on their laptops. Zayn glanced at them occasionally and caught Liam’s eyes a few times but otherwise avoided their side of the café. Oliver had for no reason gone up to them and asked them if they needed anything else a few times and smiled extra hard at Liam every time. Whenever he smiled back, the boy seemed flustered. Zayn rolled his eyes every time and gave him a difficult task to do.

 

He and Louis got off their shifts around the same time that the other four were finished their meeting. Zayn walked outside along with Louis as he saw Niall and Ameera walking towards their car and Liam talking to the other woman a few feet away.

 

“Are we heading back to the dorm? I figured when Harry gets back we can have dinner and maybe go watch a movie?” Louis suggested.

 

“Hmm? Okay. I uh- I’ll see you back at the dorm Lou,” Zayn replied as he watched Liam hug the woman goodbye before she walked away and Liam lit up a cigarette.

 

“Why?” Louis looked over at Liam. “Oh. I see. Fine. But be careful babe. If you plan on sticking your ground then don’t fall prey to your feelings again.”

 

“I know,” Zayn muttered. “I want to ask about Ray.”

 

“Fine. See you in a bit then,” Louis said before kissing his cheek and walking away.

 

Zayn slowly made his way over to Liam who was leaning against the wall of the café as he smoked and scrolled through his phone. Zayn paused in front of him and cleared his throat slowly. “Hello,” Zayn murmured.

 

Liam looked up at him and seemed a little surprised. “Hey.”

 

“How are you?” Zayn asked and wrapped his arms around himself to warm his body up a little. His jacket seemed to provide no barrier from the chilly weather and the shivers from his anxiety.

 

“A little out of sorts. You?” Liam asked.

 

“Okay. How’s Ray?” Zayn questioned as he scuffed his boot nervously on the ground.

 

“He’s doing good. His paws bother him a little but we’re making sure he doesn’t walk around too much. Little guy hates being confined but we can’t let his sweet face betray us,” Liam laughed lightly.

 

Zayn smiled and nodded. “How… how is the situation in Vegas?”

 

“Not great. The damages were bad and we’ve had to pause on construction for a bit as we work through stuff but we’ll be okay. I won’t let anything stop this from happening,” Liam replied.

 

“That’s good, Liam. I’m glad. I’m also sorry this happened,” Zayn whispered.

 

“It’s not your fault Zayn,” Liam said. “Shit happens.”

“Yeah but… I’m still sorry,” Zayn murmured. Liam was looking at him curiously and then he nodded.

 

“Need a ride anywhere?” Liam offered.

 

“No, it’s okay. My dorm is just ten minutes from here,” Zayn said.

 

“I know. It’s cold though and I could drop you off,” Liam proposed.

 

“Liam… I know… I know that the morning in your living room after Ray got hurt… something was going on… but I haven’t changed my mind. I’m not back to before. I still don’t want this and I’m sorry if I made it seem so but nothing has changed,” Zayn croaked in a pained voice.

 

Liam stared at him silently for a few seconds and he shook his head. “I didn’t assume it was. You’ve been quite clear about that. I’ve accepted that this is what you want and for your health and happiness I would sacrifice anything. But can we please at least bear to be around each other without fighting or feeling like we’d rather burst into flames?”

 

“I don’t know,” Zayn whispered shakily. He blinked at Liam slowly and watched as a gentle look passed through Liam’s eyes, something he hadn’t seen in so long.

 

“Don’t look at me like that,” Liam whispered and came really close as he cupped Zayn’s cheek. “Your eyes are fucking unfair.”

 

“It’s not my fault,” Zayn said as he stared back into Liam’s deep brown eyes. “I was born with them. They’re just like this.”

 

“To unleash chaos,” Liam murmured before he smiled slowly and moved away. “Ride?”

 

“Okay…” Zayn gave in and walked alongside Liam in silence as they went towards his car.

 

“I’m going to Vegas again tomorrow so you can drop by to see Ray if you’d like,” Liam said as they slipped into their seats.

 

“Okay. Thank you,” Zayn replied. “I’ve been worried about him.”

 

“You could have come over,” Liam said as he pulled into the street. “Despite everything, you can come over anytime to meet Ray.”

 

“Thank you,” Zayn repeated and rubbed his gloved hands together to warm them up. “I’m going home tomorrow but I’ll check in on him before I leave.”

 

“Anything special happening at home?” Liam asked.

 

“Not really. My exams are over and I haven’t seen my entire family in a few weeks. Plus, it’s Mina’s birthday on Saturday,” Zayn told him.

 

“Oh right. You mentioned a while back that she wanted a Little Mermaid themed party?” Liam said as he turned to look at him.

 

Zayn smiled lightly as his stomach warmed at the idea of Liam remembering all that. “Yes. Doniya Baji and Amir Bhai have it all planned. We all have to dress according to theme but it’s supposed to be freezing so we’ll be indoors.”

 

“Are you wearing the mermaid getup?” Liam joked and grinned at him.

 

“Nooo…” Zayn said with a tiny laugh. “I’m Prince Eric. Ali will be Sebastian and his little crab costume is adorable.”

 

“Well tell Mina I said Happy Birthday,” Liam said as they pulled up in front of Zayn’s dorm.

 

“I will. Thanks, Liam,” Zayn replied.

 

“You’re welcome,” Liam said. There was something across the street that caught his eyes. “Whose car is that?” Liam motioned towards a dark SUV that was parked across from them.

 

“I’m not sure. Seems sketchy but it’s around here a lot so I assumed one of the students in the building has a driver that takes them around,” Zayn said and shrugged. “Well… I’ll see you… maybe.”

 

“Okay. And be careful Zayn. Take care of yourself,” Liam said.

 

“You too,” Zayn echoed back. He climbed out of the door and walked towards the main door. He turned around and saw that Liam was waiting for him to get inside. He waved at him quickly and walked into the building.

 

 

**

 

 

Liam waited in his car with his eyes trained on the dark SUV. He couldn’t tell if someone was in the driver’s seat or not. He prepared to turn his car around when suddenly the SUV pulled out quickly and started driving away. Liam quickly turned and pulled into traffic behind the car.

 

With Manhattan’s traffic, it was impossible for either him or the car to drive anywhere too quickly. And he kept his eyes trained on the car as they wove through traffic. He followed the car for miles. He followed the car all the way to Queens and when there was less traffic, the SUV sped up. It shot away at the speed of lightning and Liam quickly followed. He chased it down a few streets and when they ended up near some train tracks, Liam quickly cut the car off and braked right in front of it. Without wasting a second, he jumped out of his car and walked to the SUV. He tore open the door and yanked the driver out. It was some man he didn’t recognize.

 

“Who the fuck are you and why are you stalking Zayn? Did Max Freeman put you up to this?” Liam shouted and pushed him against his car.

 

The man simply grinned which mind-stumped Liam. “To observe a job he doesn’t seem to be doing really well.”

“What?” Liam asked in confusion. He pushed the guy back roughly. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

 

“I didn’t say anything. And if you don’t get the fuck off me, I’ll have you arrested for assault.” The man pulled away from Liam’s hands and started to get back into his car.

 

“Mark my word, this isn’t over. And tell Freeman he should expect a message from me soon,” Liam shot out. “I’m only just starting with him.”

 

The man just reversed and drove away. Liam got into his own car and made the long drive back to Manhattan. He touched the call button on the screen of his car and pressed Niall’s name.

 

“Hello?” Niall asked.

 

“What we discussed yesterday. I don’t know how far the investigation into Max’s embezzlement scandals are. Jay obviously couldn’t disclose anything when I talked to him because it’s a federal investigation but he did say the investigation is going as far back as Max’s father. But Ryan told me there’s also proof of illegal sex clubs running under Max’s name and that should also be good enough to shut him down,” Liam said.

 

“That’s good. We can discuss that with Ryan. I was talking to the investigators from Vegas and they said there seems to be viable proof to show that the fire was the work of arsonists. We have a lot Li. We’re going to get this fucker,” Niall added on.

 

“His technical crimes will be something he’ll pay for soon. But the hell he brought to my life, Zayn’s life and our relationship… that requires some personal justice I have to deliver from my own end,” Liam claimed.

 

“I’m with you,” Niall affirmed. “But nothing that puts you at risk.”

 

“I know Niall. I’ll talk to you later.” Liam said his goodbye and shut the phone. Just like Max had said at the club, karma always came around to get the guilty. And his own words would haunt him. His actions were catching up to him. He would be held responsible for all his crimes and Liam would personally teach him a lesson for the hell he unleashed on his life and made the love between him and Zayn get shattered.

 

 

**

 

 

“Mamoo!”

 

Zayn spun around as Mina bounded into the kitchen. She was wearing a purple sequined top with seashells, green sparkly pants with a tail flopping at the back and a red wig which was going askew. He was at Doniya’s house helping her set up for Mina’s birthday party. The guests were arriving and he had made himself comfortable in the kitchen as he drew intricate little designs over cupcakes with icing. All the designs representing the Little Mermaid theme. It calmed him and he could avoid the herd of guests around the house.

 

“Hi meri jaan,” Zayn said with a smile.

 

“Mamoo, Aliya said I’m not really Ariel because I don’t have a real fish tail,” Mina pouted.

 

“You are Minnie. But you have a special tail with legs so you can run _and_ swim. You’re the new and improved mermaid,” Zayn said with a smile.

 

“Promise?” She asked with wide eyes.

 

Zayn grinned at her and bent down to fix her wig and kiss her forehead. “Promise. Now go play with your friends.”

 

Mina ran out the kitchen again and Zayn continued icing the cupcakes as Doniya walked in with Ali in her arms. “You make a handsome Prince Eric,” Doniya said with a smile and flicked the strand of hair across Zayn’s forehead.

 

“You make an interesting Ursula,” Zayn said with a laugh. “But my baby is the cutest!” Zayn cooed and took Ali into his arms. The baby was in his crab outfit and he grinned at Zayn and grabbed the laces on his shirt. Zayn kissed him all over his soft skin and held onto his warm and tiny form.

 

“How’s Ray now?” Doniya asked as she poured chips into bowls.

 

“He’s okay. I saw him this morning and Mary will take him to her own apartment tonight. He’ll be with her while Liam is in Vegas,” Zayn said.

 

“Hmm. And how’s Liam?” Doniya asked slowly.

 

“Alright. I guess,” Zayn answered.

 

“And you guys are still…?” Doniya waved her hand to signal what she meant.

 

“Still broken up? Yes. Wasn’t a temporary thing,” Zayn said in a small voice.

 

“I’m sorry honey. I know you don’t want to talk about what happened or why it happened. But I know it must be hard since you love him so much,” Doniya said.

 

“Loved,” Zayn corrected, careful of the lies he had built.

 

“If you say so,” Doniya replied gently. “Can you watch Ali while I put out the snacks? Wali is being useless.”

 

“Sure,” Zayn replied.

 

Doniya walked away with bowls of chips and special Little mermaid themed snacks she’d made. Zayn walked around the kitchen with Ali tucked into his chest and sang to him softly as the baby stared up at him with wide eyes. A few minutes later, Doniya walked in holding a box and had a confused look on her face.

 

“This just got delivered,” she said as she deposited the box on the table. She ripped open the packaging to reveal loads of multicolored tissue paper and glitter confetti. Zayn watched in confusion as Doniya pulled out a card. She opened it and after a quick read her eyes shot up and she shot Zayn a strange look. “It’s from Liam. A birthday gift for Mina.” Zayn walked over to her and read the card over her shoulder.

 

_‘Happy Birthday Mina!_

_For your love of the Little Mermaid, I’ve arranged for you and all your friends to have a screening of the movie at a theatre tomorrow and you’ll have snacks and gifts designed with your favorite characters. There’s some other goodies in here too that I’m sure you’ll love. Have a wonderful birthday cutie._

_-Liam’_

Zayn dug into the box and pulled out information about the screening tomorrow written on a card. Then he pulled out plush toys for every single character from the movie. A detailed outfit fashioned after Ariel, fancy chocolates made in the shapes of the characters and finally multiple coloring books and specialized pencils made with the Little Mermaid theme.

 

“Why is he like this?” Zayn asked in a choked voice as tears stung his eyes.

 

“Zayn…” Doniya started.

 

“I need to…” Zayn couldn’t finish his sentence and handed Ali to Doniya before he darted off to the bathroom. He sank onto the floor and buried his face in shaky hands. Why was it that after breaking up with Liam he seemed to be falling in a deeper spiral of love?

 

“My infinite heart,” Zayn murmured and wiped his tears. He pulled out his phone and unthinkingly called Liam.

 

“Hello?” Liam answered in a tired voice.

 

“Hi,” Zayn replied shakily.

 

“Zayn?” Liam said in surprise. Zayn sniffed and took a deep breath. “What’s wrong? Are you crying?” Liam asked in alarm.

 

“No… it’s nothing. My sister had me help her cook and all the spices got to me,” Zayn lied.

 

“Okay,” Liam said gently. “What’s up?”

 

“Mina’s gift,” Zayn simply replied.

 

“Ah. Well it would have been something even better but on short notice that was what I could put together,” Liam said.

 

“Are you kidding? Ja- Liam… it’s amazing. Mina will lose her mind and I… I can’t seem to understand the depth of your kindness,” Zayn said quietly.

 

“It’s nothing Zayn. Honestly,” Liam replied after a beat of silence.

 

“It’s a lot Liam. And Mina will really love it,” Zayn said.

 

“I hope you don’t think that I did this to win you over or whatever. You’ve made yourself clear and I respect that. This was genuinely just for Mina. She’s a sweet kid and I wanted to do something nice for her birthday,” Liam explained.

 

The air could not have left his lungs faster. Zayn clenched his eyes shut. “I know. And thank you again. I should… I should get back to the party,” Zayn said, his throat getting tight.

 

“Alright. Bye Zayn,” Liam murmured.

 

“Bye,” Zayn said quietly and shut his phone. He tucked his face into his hands and took a few calming breaths. While trying to calm himself, the door started banging.

 

“Zayn Bhaiya! Baji said hurry up we want to cut the cake!” Safaa shouted from the other side.

 

“O-okay. Coming,” Zayn called back. He stood up and splashed is face with some cold water to pull himself and his weak heart back together.

 

 

**

 

 

“Are you planning on coming home for the holidays?”

 

Zayn blinked his eyes open and looked up at his mom. He lay with his head in his mom’s lap as she stroked his hair. The party was over but they were still over at Doniya’s house. The kids were asleep in random places across the living room, Doniya had forced Waliyha to help her clean since Zayn had set up, and Yaser and Amir were making tea for everyone. Zayn had taken advantage of the quiet moment to lay down with his head in his mom’s lap and inhale her calming scent.

 

“I will for a few days. I do have work though so I can’t stay for too long. Then I’ll be back at Christmas again,” Zayn said.

 

“Well even a few days is good. I’ve missed you so much honey. And you need some good home cooked meals in you. Those awful cafeteria meals and fast food have been doing you no good. And you’ve been losing a lot of weight,” Tricia said as she ran a gentle hand over his cheekbone.

 

Zayn sighed and closed his eyes again. “Not right now Maa. Please. Scold me tomorrow.”

 

“Who wants tea?” Yaser said as he walked in with a tray, followed by Amir who carried leftover cake.

 

“Me,” Zayn said and sat up to take a cup.

 

“Zayn your painting for Mina is incredible,” Amir said as he sat down. “How long did that take you?”

Zayn smiled as Amir mentioned the painting he had made for Mina’s birthday. It featured her as the Little Mermaid as she sat on a rock in the middle of the ocean. “Two weeks approximately. I wanted it to be perfect.”

“That coupled with Liam’s gift has just made her day,” Amir commented. Zayn’s smile faded a little and he sipped on his tea in silence. He felt a squeeze on his leg and looked up to see his dad give him a warm smile.

 

“Mina wrote Liam a thank you card for all her wonderful gifts,” Doniya said as she walked in. “Zayn, could you give it to him? Or I can just mail it. Minnie really wants him to get it.”

 

“Oh. Well I might go see Ray so I’ll leave it for him,” Zayn said.

 

“Thanks love,” Doniya said and kissed his head.

 

“Where’s the fifty bucks I was promised for this cleanup? Cough it up Amir Bhai,” Waliyha said as she walked in and dropped beside Amir with a pointed look.

 

“Where did you guys find her?” Doniya asked Tricia and Yaser with a chuckle.

 

 

**

 

 

“Get dressed Zaynie.”

 

Zayn set down his broom and gave Harry a puzzled look. Harry had burst into their dorm room, wrapped in his coat and out of breath. He was flushed and grinning at Zayn.

 

“Why?” Zayn asked in suspicion.

 

“We’re going to the Christmas market and then skating at Rockefeller Center. Come on, come on!” Harry tugged Zayn away from his cleaning supplies which he had been using to clean up their dorm room. He tossed Zayn’s jacket and beanie at him.

 

“It’s going to be so crowded,” Zayn groaned.

 

“No. I’m done with you constantly moping around. You need a change of scenery. It will be so much fun. And we haven’t properly celebrated the end of our first semester,” Harry quipped.

 

Zayn sighed and pulled on his jacket, knowing that he had already lost this battle. “Where’s Lou?”

 

“Umm. Lou’s friend Jackson is coming with us so he’s with him right now. They’re going to meet us in the lobby in five minutes. Tash and Shalini are coming too,” Harry said.

 

“Okay,” Zayn hummed and adjusted his beanie on his head. He idly touched his nose ring as he looked at himself in the mirror. Harry hip-checked him and Zayn smiled questioningly at him.

 

“Don’t worry, you didn’t go from exceptionally beautiful to somewhat beautiful overnight. You’re still a gorgeous fuck who I hate but love,” Harry joked and kissed Zayn’s cheek when the latter glared weakly at him. “Come on babe.”

 

Zayn followed Harry out of the room and down the stairs to their main lobby. Everyone else was there, standing in a semi-circle as they listened to Louis animatedly explain his recent touchdown in the football game. Harry’s cheeks dimpled with a smile when he saw Louis and he ran up to him to jump on his back and kiss his cheek.

“Oh, well hello babe,” Louis laughed and turned to kiss him. Zayn smiled at them and walked up to the group. Natasha and Shalini gave him hugs and he turned to say something to Louis when he noticed the boy standing beside Louis who was probably his friend Jackson. He had dirty blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. He had stereotypical attractive features but something about his crooked smile was charming. That smile was aimed at Zayn and he was speaking.

 

“… Jackson and I know your name is Zayn. I’ve seen you hanging around with Louis and at the coffee shop,” Jackson said.

 

“Oh. Umm... yes. I work there,” Zayn explained.

 

“Yes, the apron you wear and the fact that you’re behind the counter taking orders was a major hint,” Jackson laughed.

 

“Right,” Zayn chuckled. “My bad.”

 

“I saw you drop a large iced coffee and panic clean it while cursing yourself out which was pretty amusing,” Jackson grinned at him.

 

“Glad you found my misery enjoyable,” Zayn said with a tiny smile.

 

“Not in the slightest,” Jackson said and smiled at him.

 

“Guys we’re heading out,” Harry called to them. Zayn quickly caught up with him, with Jackson on his heels. As Jackson fell into step beside Louis, Harry pulled Zayn beside himself.

 

“I wasn’t going to tell you at first but I know you hate things being kept from you. So… Jackson likes you… _like_ likes you. He’s seen you at the coffee shop and around campus with Louis and he asked about you way back in September but you were uh, taken… but now… now you’re not and he asked about you again so Lou invited him. Nothing has to happen but me and Lou thought that at least hanging out with him could help take your mind off Liam,” Harry explained in an apologetic tone.

 

“Harry! What the fuck?!” Zayn hissed.

 

“Relax Zayn! I’m not saying get into bed with him! But if you’ve vowed to be apart from Liam, which I still do not support by the way, then at least try the healthy option of trying to move on. Pining is only going to make you fall into a deeper depression,” Harry argued.

 

“I can’t… I don’t even…” Zayn sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets as they walked in silence for a few seconds.

 

“He’s a nice guy Zayn. At least be friendly with him even if you don’t want to do anything further. Friendship isn’t a crime,” Harry urged.

 

“Fine. Whatever.” Zayn came to a stop as they all waited for the light to change. He rubbed his hands to warm them up in the chilly weather and when he looked to his right, Jackson was looking at him and he smiled when Zayn met his eyes. Zayn smiled back politely and turned away. He was going to fucking kill Harry and Louis.

 

 

**

 

 

“Maybe this isn’t completely awful.”

  
  
Zayn had to admit that he was having fun. He wasn’t the best ice skater but he had his arm linked with Shalini, who also failed at skating, and they both glided around the rink slowly. Harry and Louis seemed to be tripping all over each other on the other side of the rink but in between their laughs and kisses they hardly noticed. Zayn smiled as he saw them. He also saw Jackson and Natasha both skating expertly on the other side as they moved side by side and talked.

 

“See. And you didn’t want to come,” Shalini chided.

 

“I never said that! Louis and Harry paint me in a bad light,” Zayn groaned. Suddenly Jackson glided up to him and began skating backwards. He might have been showing off a little, Zayn thought, but he couldn’t care.

 

“Do you want help learning how to go faster?” Jackson asked.

 

“I’m good,” Zayn replied.

 

“Let’s stop for some hot chocolate I’m freezing my ass off,” Shalini said. They glided to a stop near Harry and Louis and shuffled back onto the ground. Zayn turned his ankle and almost fell but Jackson grabbed him and helped him onto a bench.

 

“Careful there,” Jackson said.

 

“Thank you,” Zayn said breathlessly and looked up at him with a smile.

 

“You have such gorgeous eyes,” Jackson blurted out and pinked a little bit as the words left his mouth. But he smiled awkwardly right after that and ran a hand through his hair.

 

“Um. Thank you,” Zayn murmured and tried to unlace his skates.

 

“You know Zayn, Jackson is right. I’ve always noticed how ridiculously pretty your eyes are. What is up with that?” Shalini asked teasingly. “They’re like doe eyes.”

 

“Who has doe eyes?” Harry asked as he and Louis walked over.

 

“Zayn,” Shalini answered.

 

“Like Bambi’s eyes,” Natasha joked.

 

“Oh. Don’t say that. It’s a touchy subject,” Harry explained in a low voice.

 

“Why?” Jackson asked.

 

“Because my ex-boyfriend used to call me that,” Zayn interjected, annoyed that they were all discussing him like he wasn’t there. He dumped his skates down and changed into his boots before walking away. He was waiting in line to get himself a hot chocolate when he felt a presence beside himself. He turned to his left and saw Jackson. The other boy smiled hesitantly.

 

“Sorry about all that. The topic of exes is never easy. And because of me, everyone was talking about it. I feel bad. Louis mentioned you had a hard breakup,” Jackson said.

 

“Hard sounds like level one on a scale of ten. What I feel, it’s a fifteen,” Zayn sighed.

 

“I’m sorry,” Jackson sympathized.

 

“Not your fault,” Zayn said.

 

“Well I feel guilty for some reason. So here.” Jackson paid for their drinks and Zayn accepted it slowly before thanking him. As they walked back towards everyone else, Zayn couldn’t help himself from remembering how he had begged Liam back in October to come to the Christmas market with him when it started and to go skating. Liam had offered to go skating in Aspen, where his family had their own ski lodge, instead of Rockefeller Center and Zayn had called him ridiculous which Liam had tickled out of him.

 

“The movies?”

 

“No! Clubbing!”

 

Zayn looked at his friends in confusion as they all seemed to be arguing. He walked up beside Harry who wrapped himself around Zayn to share his warmth.

 

“What are you all arguing about?” Zayn asked.

 

“Where to go next. Lou wants to go see a movie but the girls want to go to a club,” Harry explained.

 

“What about the market?” Zayn asked.

 

“It’s closing in an hour and it’s so jam packed we won’t be able to breathe,” Louis said. Zayn nodded because he knew that for his own anxiety, a packed market sounded awful.

 

“What’s everyone’s votes?” Natasha asked. “Raise your hand for movies.” Louis and Zayn raised their hands and Louis grinned at him. Truthfully, a quiet movie theatre sounded amazing and Zayn still hadn’t seen Thor: Ragnarok so he wouldn’t mind watching it.

 

“Club?” Natasha asked and everyone else raised their hands which made her grin. “Guess clubbing wins.”

 

“Oh suck my ass you guys are awful. Let’s go to the movies Zayn,” Louis scoffed.

 

“Babe come on! Exams are done and we’re celebrating. Let’s go to some club and get wasted and dance and then fuck in a bathroom,” Harry offered with a cheeky smile.

 

Everyone groaned but Louis grinned. “Alright. The club doesn’t sound too bad.”

 

Zayn sighed and tagged along as everyone turned towards the street to catch a cab. “Which club?” Jackson asked.

 

“Umm… most clubs will be packed and will have long lines… so I was thinking Red?” Harry asked with a nervous look at Zayn. “Me and Zayn have VVIP cards and we can get us all in.”

 

“Haz –” Zayn warned but Harry grabbed his hands.

 

“You said Liam is out of town. And he wouldn’t care if we used the card. Please Zay?” Harry pouted at him and blinked his eyes.

 

“Fine,” Zayn murmured and wrapped his arms around his mid-section.

 

“I love you,” Harry said and kissed his cheek. Zayn stayed silent as they all divided into two cabs to make their way to Red.

 

Zayn was in a cab with Shalini and Jackson and he sat in the front in silence as the other two chatted about her music in the back. They arrived at the club earlier than the other three, whose cab had gotten lost in traffic. They decided to wait on the sidewalk, near the line of people waiting to get in. Zayn anxiously checked the time on his phone and wished he were at home instead. The thumping of the music was already making him feel unsettled.

 

“Are you cold?” Zayn turned to see Jackson looking at him.

 

“N-no,” Zayn replied, his teeth chattering.

 

“Your excessive shivering makes me think otherwise,” Jackson laughed. “Here. I can warm you up.”

 

Zayn froze as Jackson wrapped an arm around him. It wasn’t demanding or too tight of a grip. Just a gentle arm around his shoulders as a hand rubbed his arm. Zayn felt incredibly awkward but the other boy was warm and Zayn’s body welcomed it.

 

 “Shalini mentioned you sing?” Jackson asked.

 

“Not really,” Zayn shrugged and shuffled closer to the source of warmth.

 

“Lies,” Shalini said. “He’s fucking incredible.”

 

“I’d love to hear you sing,” Jackson said.

 

“Well I had my first and last performance with Shalini so you missed it,” Zayn smiled apologetically.

 

“I have a feeling I might get to hear you,” Jackson grinned. “You have an eyelash…”

 

He reached forward tentatively to pick a fallen eyelash off of Zayn’s cheekbone and Zayn reached up to rub his eye. “Thanks,” Zayn said, slightly awkward.

 

“No problem.”

  
  
A car zoomed past them and stopped right by the entrance of the club. A door opened and music poured out and then laughing voices carried out. Zayn looked over casually and tensed as he saw Tom and Miguel climb out the car and hand the keys to the valet. And just when he couldn’t feel more awkward, Liam climbed out the passenger seat as well. He had a cigarette in his mouth and he walked towards the entrance as he blew the smoke upwards. His gaze flitted past the sidewalk momentarily and when he saw Zayn he looked surprised for a second and then his eyebrows lifted a little when he noticed Jackson. Zayn instantly pulled away from Jackson’s hold and Liam assessed them both with his eyes before he turned and walked straight inside with a nod at the bouncer.

 

“I think… I think I need to go home,” Zayn said, feeling sick suddenly.

 

“What happened?” Shalini asked in concern.

 

“But the others are here,” Jackson motioned towards Harry, Louis and Natasha climbing out of a cab. The other three walked towards them in the middle of laughs.

 

“You guys didn’t have to wait,” Harry said.

 

“Zayn wants to leave,” Natasha said.

 

“Why?” Louis asked.

 

“Liam is here,” Zayn mumbled

 

“Fuck… well we can try and stay on the first floor,” Harry offered.

 

“Whatever,” Zayn sighed. He felt nothing at the moment but a sense of exhaustion. He followed the others to the front of the line in silence and showed his VVIP card to let his friends in. They all chattered excitedly as they went up in the elevator.

The club was packed as always. While the others wove their way through the crowd with a sense of excitement at being here for the first time, Zayn looked around anxiously wondering where Liam was. He felt so wrong being here. Surely there were some rules against abusing the privileges of your ex-boyfriend’s club. He shouldn’t be using his card to get in when he had left Liam. The man would have such a low opinion of him.

  
  
The others had gone to the bar to get drinks and Zayn settled with a water on a bar stool. He gazed around the club and tried to avoid all the memories he could picture here. When he looked up towards the railing of the VIP floor, he spotted Niall and Ameera with Josh as they all sipped drinks and talked. Zayn was about to look away when he caught Niall’s eye. Through the flashing lights Zayn could see his confusion but then the man smiled and waved for him to come up. Zayn shook his head vigorously but Niall rolled his eyes and waved again.

  
  
Zayn sighed and tapped Harry on the arm to point towards Niall and Ameera. Harry understood and signalled the others to follow him. Zayn felt even more awkward than before. He trudged behind Harry as they made their way up. Niall signalled the bouncer to let them through.

  
  
“The look on your face screams just how excited you are to be here,” Niall joked as he hugged Zayn.

  
  
“So excited!” Zayn exclaimed and plastered an exaggerated smile on his face. Niall patted his arm and laughed.

  
  
“You guys can chill up here if you want. Liam is here though, fair warning, but he wouldn’t care if you stayed up here,” Niall said.

  
  
“Tread lightly though. He’s in a foul mood today,” Ameera warned as she joined them.

  
  
“We’re gonna go dance,” Harry said and took Louis’ hand. They went back down and the girls also left to dance. Zayn was left with Jackson and he slipped into the booth where Ameera and Niall has settled down. Jackson sat down beside him and Niall gave him a probing look.  
  
“Why is Liam in a foul mood?” Zayn asked cautiously.

  
  
“Some work stuff has been going on,” Niall explained vaguely.

  
  
Zayn nodded and let his eyes wander across the floor. He could see the door of the private room in the back open. He spotted Liam sat inside and Miguel was beside him. They had drinks beside them and were smoking a pipe. Before Zayn could see more, someone shut the door to the room.

 

“Do you want to dance?” Jackson murmured to him. When Zayn turned to look at him, he realized just how close Jackson’s face was to him. Zayn moved back a little and shook his head with a polite smile.

 

“I don’t really like to dance. Sorry,” Zayn apologized to him. Jackson smiled at him in return.

 

“Well that’s a relief because I don’t either. Do you want to go anywhere else?” He asked.

 

“I’m actually going to step outside for some fresh air,” Zayn said quickly and stood up.

 

“I’ll come with you,” Jackson offered and stood up with him. Zayn sighed internally but didn’t want to offend Jackson by saying that he wanted to be alone.  He looked over at Niall who was preoccupied with a conversation he was having with Ameera and Josh. Zayn slipped away quietly and left the club. He took the back exit Liam had once showed him and slipped into the back alley.

 

“Is there where you take me to kill me?” Jackson asked with a laugh.

 

Zayn smiled and shook his head before sitting onto a step. “And they’ll never find your body,” Zayn joked.

 

“Well make it quick and easy if you do so,” Jackson chuckled and sat onto the step beside Zayn. “I may be completely off but I sort of get the feeling that you’re trying to avoid me.”

 

“No… it’s not that. I- I don’t know if you know but I think Harry and Louis are sort of trying to set us up… and I… I’m not in the place to be seeing anyone new or even thinking of dating,” Zayn said with a sigh.

 

“It’s okay Zayn. I’m probably being very obvious but I do like you. Have for a while since I first saw you at the café and you were laughing at something Louis said and it sort of took my breath away. Louis warned me that you wouldn’t be interested but I wanted to take a chance anyways. And I know you don’t want to be dating right now but can we at least be friends? I promise I’m a nice guy,” Jackson said with a grin.

 

“You are,” Zayn replied and smiled back.

 

“How about this. Do you want to go see a movie this week sometime? As friends?” Jackson asked.

 

“Umm… I guess that wouldn’t be too bad,” Zayn murmured.

 

“Love the enthusiasm,” Jackson joked.

 

“Stop,” Zayn chuckled and lightly hit Jackson’s knee.

 

“Give me your number and I’ll text you the details.” Jackson handed over his phone and Zayn hesitated at first and then entered his number. Jackson gave him a bright smile and pocketed his phone. “Want to go back in and find the others?”

 

“You go on. I need some fresh air for a few more minutes before I can go back into the midst of sweaty bodies,” Zayn said with a wrinkled nose.

 

“Wow you’re really not a club guy,” Jackson laughed and stood up.

 

“Nope. My idea of fun is staying in, baking and having a movie marathon in a sea of warm blankets. Throw in some hot cocoa and cuddles and you’ve got a party,” Zayn grinned.

 

“Duly noted.” Jackson smiled and looked at him for a beat before walking back in.

 

Zayn smiled and pulled out his phone to check his messages. He had a few from his family and one from Harry inside who was wondering where he had disappeared to. Zayn replied to everyone and got up to go back inside. He had barely turned around when a hand clamped down on his arm in a painful grip and he was yanked so hard that his arm could have fallen out of it’s socket. In that very second, fear paralyzed his body and he flashbacked to the night he was grabbed outside his dorm. He wasn’t even able to let out a sound in that moment.

 

His back hit the brick wall and when his vision cleared, Zayn saw Jason in front of him. He was red in the face and he absolutely reeked of alcohol. Every nerve in his body was electrified with fear. Zayn stared at his assailant in silence, barely breathing in as Jason fumed at him in silence for a few seconds.

 

“You don’t know what you’ve caused,” Jason growled.

 

“Wh-what… what the fuck are you doing Jason?” Zayn breathed out, finally finding his voice. “Let me go!” Zayn tried to push him away but Jason pushed him back harder and pinned his arms against the wall. He was breathing right in his face and Zayn held his breath.

 

“You had one job. One fucking job. What have you done Zayn? What did you say to him?” Jason practically shouted.

 

“What? To who?” Zayn shouted hysterically, not understanding what Jason was talking about. And his instincts were telling him that this conversation would not go well for him.

“What did you say to Liam?! He went after Max! He went after all of us! The feds raided Max’s office and he was arrested!” Jason screamed and punched the wall beside Zayn. Zayn closed his eyes as a panic attack started to close in. Breathe in. Breathe out.

 

“I- I didn’t say anything Jason. I swear to God,” Zayn whispered. What had Liam done?

 

“I don’t fucking believe you. I don’t believe you for one second. I told Max to take it easy on you and let him believe that you were doing your job. But I knew you were still meeting Liam every now and then. And either you told him or he figured it out. But my brother is in a jail cell right now and I don’t give a shit about playing nice with you anymore Zayn,” Jason bellowed. He tightened his grip around Zayn’s wrists so severely that Zayn cried out and tried to wriggle free.

 

“I’ve done nothing but follow your fucking brother’s orders! I destroyed the heart of the man I love and fucked myself over in the process! How am I to blame for what’s happening to Max when I did everything he told me to!” Zayn screamed as angry tears flowed down his face.

 

“It wasn’t enough,” Jason fumed.

 

“Well maybe it’s time Max pay for every fucked up thing he’s ever done! He deserves it and I hope karma catches up to you as well!” Zayn shot out. He wasn’t expecting Jason’s hand to come flying so quickly, striking him so harshly across the cheek that Zayn’s vision blacked out for a second and he saw stars.

 

“Shut your fucking mouth!” Jason screamed. Zayn started to slide down the wall in shock but Jason caught his wrist and yanked him forward. “You’re coming with me. And you’re going to learn what it’s like to get on my bad side. A lesson you should have learnt that weekend I took you but I was stupid enough to hold back then.”

 

“Let me go!” Zayn screamed and pulled away.

 

“Scream all you want. Your boyfriend wasn’t there for you the first time, and he sure as hell isn’t here now,” Jason sneered. He dragged Zayn forward and clamped a hand over his mouth to stop the screams. Zayn kneed him in his crotch and Jason cursed loudly and pulled away for a second. Zayn started to run away but Jason quickly grabbed him again with an arm around his throat and another around his abdomen. Zayn gasped desperately as he struggled to breathe against Jason’s chokehold. His vision was starting to black again and he stopped struggling against Jason. For one terrifying second, Zayn imagined every single thing Jason probably planned on doing to him and he prayed that he died on the way there.

 

 But his prayer had a different effect instead. One second, Jason was dragging him down the alley, and a split second later. The chokehold and Jason’s presence behind him disappeared. Zayn sank to the ground and gasped for air in heavy gulps. He turned around quickly and saw something that his brain took a few seconds to comprehend. Jason was flat on the ground and above him was Liam, whose facial expression was indescribable. Zayn’s body was shaking violently as he struggled with a panic attack and rubbed his throat that ached. Liam punched Jason so violently, that his face snapped to the side and Zayn heard bone cracking. Zayn quickly crawled backwards and pressed his back to a wall. He pulled his knees up and focused on trying to breathe as he watched Liam rain punches on Jason’s face.

 

“You motherfucking bitch… I told you what would happen if you came near him again. I will kill you. I will kill you with my bare hands and I won’t regret it for a second,” Liam raged. Jason tried to get up off the ground but Liam kneed him in the stomach which made Jason curse and roll to the side. His face was already covered in blood.

 

“Fuck you,” Jason breathed heavily.

 

“You’re pathetic. Your brother is pathetic. And you don’t know what you started the minute you dared to lay your eyes on Zayn. You dug your own grave,” Liam seethed. Jason tried to hit him back but Liam swiftly punched him in the abdomen which made Jason double over again.

 

“Your brother is fucked. And now it’s your turn. I would have gone easier on you but you lost your chance when you touched Zayn. I will fuck you up so bad that you will wish you didn’t agree to roll over for Max.” Zayn could see the anger rolling off of Liam’s body in waves. It was unlike any demeanor he had seen before. When he had told Liam that he had been roofied he had seen him reach maximum levels of rage. This was surreal. He seemed like another person.

 

His head seemed fuzzy. Maybe he felt a little nauseous as well. Why was it so hard to be sitting right now? Zayn sank to the ground, unable to care about the dirt, and curled up into a ball. His face pressed right to the pavement. He didn’t even realize that he had started crying. Why was he crying? Nothing made sense. His mind and body were completely out of his control. A hand touched his arm and he flinched back violently.

 

“… Zayn? Zayn? Are you okay? Zayn!”

 

Zayn realized he was crying hysterically and shaking uncontrollably. Liam was kneeling on the ground in front of him, his face covered in fear. Zayn tried to say something but he could barely breathe. Liam cautiously touched his arm and rubbed it gently.

 

“Breathe Zayn. Please just breathe,” Liam said desperately. Zayn shook his head and touched his hand to his throat. Maybe this was how he died.

 

“No, you won’t. I will never let that happen,” Liam said firmly. Zayn realized he had said that last part out loud. Liam slipped his arms underneath him and picked him up. Zayn didn’t know where they were going but a few minutes later he was placed onto a seat. He was in a car. Zayn curled up into a ball and pressed his face to the cool glass. His hand was lifted up gently and he turned to his left to see Liam in the driver’s hand. Liam kissed his hand and held onto it as he started to drive away.

 

 

**

 

 

Zayn was delirious. He was in a different head space. Liam looked over at the boy in concern and he was staring ahead blankly and murmuring something to himself in what sounded like Arabic. Liam was still holding onto one of his hands and his other was clenched in his lap. Liam was trying to get to his place as quickly as possible so he could help Zayn calm down. What had just happened in the alley behind his club felt like a nightmare. Never in his wildest dreams would he have expected to see what he had seen while stepping out to take a phone call. He had walked out to see Jason grab Zayn from behind in a chokehold and start to drag him back as Zayn struggled and screamed.

 

At first, he thought it was some drunk friends playing around but the fear in Zayn’s scream had pulled him forward and when he recognized the faces he thought a knife had pierced through his heart. And then the most unbelievable wave of rage had washed over him and he had run forward to yank Jason off Zayn. Then his hands started moving uncontrollably to punch Jason. He would have killed him. It was entirely possible. But in the midst of the beating he had heard Zayn start to cry and when he looked over to see the boy curled up on the pavement, Liam had immediately let go of Jason to go to Zayn. Jason had run off.

 

Now he had a spaced out and inconsolable Zayn in his passenger seat and his own emotions were a tornado. He was done. He was completely done with trying to find logical ways to take down Max. One look at Zayn and his anger would boil over again. He had no idea what prompted Jason to suddenly come after Zayn when they weren’t even together anymore. But clearly Max knew that going after Zayn would still strike a chord with Liam. In fact, it mattered to him more than anything else.

 

When they got to his building, Liam helped Zayn out and helped the shaky boy into the elevator. They went straight into his penthouse and Liam settled Zayn down onto the sofa with a throw blanket around his shoulders, before he went to go grab him some water. When Liam came back with the water, Zayn was staring ahead at the wall and shivering. Liam handed him the water which Zayn sipped slowly.

 

“Are you cold Zee?” Liam asked gently. Zayn nodded and Liam got up to turn on the fireplace. Then he sat back down beside Zayn and took his hand to rub it. His body was cold and he continued to shake. “Come here,” Liam murmured.

 

Zayn curled into his side and Liam wrapped his arms around him tightly. He dropped a kiss to Zayn’s head and rubbed his back and arms to warm him up. “Better?” Liam asked. Zayn shook his head and burrowed deeper.

 

“I’m sorry about breaking down like I did. Panic attacks can be so intense. I felt like I was dying,” Zayn murmured.

 

“Never apologize for that Zayn,” Liam said and squeezed him gently.

 

“Can I ask you something?” Zayn whispered.

 

“Yes?” Liam said softly.

 

“What did I do to deserve this? Why me? A couple months ago I would never have expected my life to be like this. T-to get attacked. Stalked. Threatened. To live constantly in fear, always feeling sick,” Zayn choked out.

 

Liam felt guilt and anger at himself and anger at Max run through his body. “You did nothing sweetheart. You don’t deserve any of this. You’re quite literally the kindest and most pure-hearted individual to ever exist. The fact that those pigs went after you has _nothing_ to do with you. It’s all my fault,” Liam said with a sigh. “I’m so fucking sorry Zayn. This is all because you’re linked to me. You broke up with me because you wanted to be away from it all and yet they won’t leave you alone. I just… I’m so sorry.” Liam touched Zayn’s cheek gently and the boy flinched.

 

“Sorry… it just hurts a little,” Zayn whispered. And that’s when Liam noticed the bruise on Zayn’s cheek and his split lip.

 

“Did he hit you?” Liam asked through clenched teeth. Zayn nodded and stared down at his lap.

 

“How much did you see or hear?” Zayn asked carefully.

 

“Not much. I came outside and saw Jason dragging you away, choking you, and you were struggling. I couldn’t even think straight I just pulled him off you. I would have killed him Zayn. But I heard you crying and getting to you was more important than him. He got away. But I’m going to find him and strangle him. How dare he touch you again? How dare he hit you,” Liam seethed. Zayn was trembling again so Liam pulled him closer and hugged him again.

 

“So… that’s all you heard?” Zayn asked rather sadly. Liam looked at him in confusion and touched Zayn’s chin lightly.

 

“Why? Was there something else he said? Is there something you aren’t telling me?” Liam asked.

 

“No. I just… I think he said something about Max being arrested…” Zayn said in a low voice.

 

“Yes. The feds have been investigating him after a tip I gave a friend. The rumors of embezzlement were true. And he uses that money to run illegal sex clubs. He was arrested today. Although knowing his family, they will pay his bail so he can be out until his trial. He got what he deserved and now I hope he gets a long sentence so he can rot in jail,” Liam muttered.

 

“He can cause shit from jail as well,” Zayn said quietly.

 

“What do you mean?” Liam asked as he stared at Zayn’s face which was covered in conflicting emotions. “What aren’t you telling me Zayn? Have Max and Jason been saying things to you? Did they threaten you?” Ever since he found out that Max had people stalking Zayn, Liam’s instincts were telling him that something deeper was going on. Zayn being hot and cold. Being cold-hearted like he was when they broke up, and then some days being the complete opposite. Getting close to Liam again or saying things that made no sense.

 

“There’s nothing Liam.  Max and Jason may have been catalysts but things haven’t changed,” Zayn said with a sigh and moved away from him.

 

“I get that. Believe me it’s burned into my brain,” Liam replied tiredly. “But I am sick and tired of seeing them come after you when you have done nothing to deserve this. And the thing is… I still love you. With every bone in my body. I love you Zayn. And I won’t sit by and see the person I love get hurt. So while I finish off Max and Jason, there’s something I need you to do.”

 

“What?” Zayn asked slowly.

 

“Come with me,” Liam said and offered his hand to Zayn.

 

Zayn took it silently and Liam led him towards his gym. He turned on the lights and went over to one of the cupboards lining the wall. He took out a pair of boxing gloves and brought them over to Zayn. Liam motioned for him to lift his hands. When Zayn did so, Liam wrapped a boxing glove around each hand. Then he walked over to the punching bag he had hanging from his ceiling on a chain. He signalled Zayn forward and the boy walked over in confusion.

 

“The one thing I can give you right now, is to teach you how to defend yourself. Max and Jason won’t be coming near you again but on the off chance something could happen, you should know how to knock them or any other assailant out,” Liam said.

 

“This isn’t necessary Liam,” Zayn said in a low voice.

“Yes it is. These are skills every single person needs in their life. I’m going to teach you basic skills needed in a fight and build your strength with boxing. Now come on. Think of this punching bag as Jason and Max. Take out all your anger.” Liam held onto the bag and looked at Zayn patiently. The boy sighed and rubbed a gloved hand down his face.

 

“I wouldn’t know how to,” Zayn said.

 

“I’ll teach you,” Liam said. “But for today, take out every ounce of your frustration and anger on this punching bag.”

 

Zayn stared at him silently and then moved forward slowly. He held his gloved hands together for a few moments as he stared at the bag in contemplation. Liam stared at his bruised cheek and felt anger ripple through his body again. But he held it in because at this moment he was thinking about Zayn. The boy took a deep breath and swung lightly at the bag.

 

“You can go harder,” Liam said gently.

 

Zayn nodded and took a deep breath before pulling his hand back and swinging his gloved fist at the bag again. It swung a little and Liam held onto it tightly. He nodded at Zayn to tell him to go again. Zayn swung harder and then sped up his punches. His form was off and he was just throwing free punches but Liam could see his face morph into anger as he continued to punch harder and harder. He was breathing more heavily too. Zayn was taking out all his anger and that’s what was most important.

 

“Keep going,” Liam said. Zayn kept punching harder and harder until his chest was heaving with exhaustion and he had tears rolling down his face. Then he kicked the bag angrily a couple of times and sank to the ground, out of breath. Liam sank down in front of him and rubbed his shoulder. Zayn looked up and smiled weakly as he wiped his tears away.

 

“That did feel good. Thank you,” Zayn said breathlessly.

 

“I’m glad. Come over tomorrow and I will give you actual lessons,” Liam said.

 

“Okay. I- I should probably go. Harry and Louis will be worried,” Zayn murmured.

 

“It’s fine. I texted them in the car and they know you’re here. I feel like you might not be in the right headspace right now so why don’t you have a shower and I’ll make you something to eat. You’ve had a long night,” Liam said and offered Zayn a towel as he untied the gloves.

 

“Oh… umm… okay,” Zayn said slowly. “I didn’t say this before but thank you for saving me back there. I honestly thought Jason was going to kill me. Not after he took me back to wherever first and took out all his anger.”

 

 _That_ made Liam want to storm out and go strangle Jason. He took a few calming breaths and reached over to squeeze Zayn’s hand. “You don’t know how unbelievably grateful I am that I was there tonight. I still haven’t forgiven myself for what happened to you before and if something else had happened tonight I would- I don’t know what I would have done.”

 

Zayn was looking at him with an expression Liam couldn’t decipher. And then the boy sighed. “I’ll go shower. Is Ray here? I thought you were supposed to be out of town?”

 

“Came back early. Ray is with Mary,” Liam replied.

 

“Okay. I guess I’ll shower,” Zayn said as he stood up.

 

“I’ll leave you some clothes to wear and you can use the guest bathroom if you’re not comfortable with using mine. I’ll make you dinner okay?” Liam gave Zayn’s hand another squeeze and the boy smiled at him. Liam walked upstairs first and grabbed some clothes which he gave to Zayn who was walking into one of the guest bathrooms. Zayn thanked him and disappeared inside.

 

Liam went downstairs and popped some of Mary’s lasagna into the oven to heat up while he made Zayn some tea as well. About ten minutes later the boy came down, wrapped in Liam’s oversized jumper and sweats. His hair was damp and he smiled gently at Liam as he pushed his wet hair out of his eyes. Liam’s heart almost stopped. It was impossible to love someone this much even after the utter hell they had lived through, and still were. Zayn settled onto a stool and Liam gave him a mug of tea and an ice pack for his cheek. There was silence for a few minutes while Liam put lasagna into two plates and then sat down beside Zayn.

 

“Mary’s lasagna. I’ve missed this,” Zayn said with a smile. He stuck his fork into the pasta and took a bite, closing his eyes to absorb it. Liam stared at his face. Zayn’s long lashes were damp and tangled where they lay on his cheekbones. Zayn opened his eyes and when he caught Liam staring he flushed.

 

“What?” Zayn asked softly.

 

“Your eyelashes are ridiculous,” Liam said with a smile. When Zayn grinned and shook his head with a blush, Liam looked at him curiously.

 

“What is it?” Liam asked.

 

“It feels surreal but earlier tonight someone else was telling me they thought my eyes were nice and it just feels like centuries ago given what just happened like two hours ago,” Zayn murmured.

 

“Was this the boy you were with outside Red?” Liam asked. He tried to keep his face neutral but truthfully when he had seen Zayn wrapped up in another boy’s arms it had stung his heart violently. Zayn didn’t love him anymore and was free to date anyone he wanted, but it hurt just a little.

 

“Jackson? Uh… yeah… he said it… but umm… we’re not like dating or anything. I literally only met him tonight. Harry tried setting me up but I’m not into the guy. He was just warming me up,” Zayn explained with a stutter.

 

“Zayn, you don’t owe me any explanation. You’re free to date anyone you want. We’re not together anymore and you’re not in love with me. I may have used unhealthy coping methods to get over you by sleeping with Adrian and Lord knows who else since then. But if you’re doing the healthy thing and dating and finding someone nice, then good for you. You deserve everything in this world and you are, in my biased opinion, the most wonderful human ever. Anyone would be lucky to have you,” Liam told Zayn with a smile but his heart was heavy.

 

“Thank you, Liam,” Zayn said in a quiet voice, his eyes seemed to be wet.

 

“Okay. Now I’m going to go down to Mary and Patrick’s apartment and get Ray. He’ll be so happy to see you and you could use some furry cuddles. And you’re free to spend the night here. It’s already so late,” Liam said as he stood up.

 

“Okay. Thanks,” Zayn replied with a bright smile.

 

 

**

 

 

When Liam left, Zayn washed his plate off and went into the living room to settle onto the couch. He draped the blanket around himself and stretched his feet towards the fireplace to warm them. He heard the door open and close and looked back to see Liam walk in with Ray in his arms. The kitten’s feet were still in bandages but he looked fine otherwise. Zayn smiled and held out his hands. Liam passed Ray over and the kitten immediately licked his hand and purred. He rubbed his head all over Zayn’s chest and Zayn laughed and kissed his face.

 

“My little jaan. I’ve missed you,” Zayn cooed and hugged him close. Liam was smiling at him and then his phone started ringing and he pulled it out of his pocket. He saw the number and his face became serious.

 

“Zayn, you can stay here or go up to any of the rooms to sleep if you want. I’m just going to be in my office. Come get me if you need anything. And I mean literally anything.” Zayn nodded at him and Liam gave him a small smile before he walked away.

 

“Have you been good for daddy?” Zayn whispered to Ray. “He’s so good to us both. It’s unreal how incredible he is. Tonight I had the chance to tell him everything but I didn’t. Because I know in my heart that Max wasn’t bullshitting when he said he could make one call from jail and harm Liam. But I can’t be sure because with what Liam did to him, Max could do that regardless. I’m so confused bubs. I don’t know what to do. All I know is that I can’t risk Liam’s life.” Zayn wiped his tears and went upstairs to the guest bedroom to get some sleep. He was probably the only person in history who did strange things like sleep at his ex-boyfriend’s house but when had anything about his and Liam’s situation been normal? Zayn curled up into the soft bed and turned the TV on because without the background noise his anxiety would flare up. He kept thinking back to Jason attacking him earlier tonight and the fact that Liam had been slowly uncovering it all, and feeling anxious.

 

And the funny thing was, his heart had desperately wished that Liam had heard more from his conversation with Jason or figured things out. Something slightly selfish in his heart didn’t care about the future repercussions but just wanted Liam to know that he still loved him, had never stopped loving him, and wanted to be back in his arms.

 

He fell asleep amidst these thoughts with Ray in his arms. A while after he fell asleep he groggily registered someone draping a blanket over him and a hand brushing hair off his forehead. He heard Liam’s voice from miles away saying, “I love you. I’m so sorry.”

 

 

**

 

 

Zayn padded into Liam’s kitchen, yawning and stopped when he saw Liam in the kitchen. He was glaring at his phone, completely pissed off, but he was holding Ray in his arms and stroking him gently. The conflicting image of an angry Liam holding a kitten in gentle hands made Zayn want to laugh for some reason. But he just cleared his throat and walked in.

 

“Morning,” Zayn said. Liam looked up and gave him a small smile. He was already dressed for the day.

 

“Hey. Sleep okay?” Liam asked and set Ray down on the floor.

 

“Alright,” Zayn simply said, although he had nightmares all night about Jason taking him back to the remote cabin and ‘finishing things.’

 

“I’ve made some toast if you want.” Liam gestured to the plate of toast on the counter. “I have to be somewhere so you’re welcome to stay here or I can drop you off now.”

 

“I- I guess I’ll leave with you,” Zayn said, feeling weird about being at Liam’s place without him. “You have work?”

 

“Some work stuff. Vegas is an ongoing thing and then I have to meet with the private investigator I hired to look into Max. Apparently Max is out on bail and Jason has fled,” Liam said in irritation.

 

“What?” Zayn asked in surprise.

 

“The police found out that Jason was a partner in the sex club or brothel or whatever the fuck it was. Most of his frat brothers were apparently clientele. He fled last night. Ryan, my PI, says he couldn’t have gone far. Jason’s birth dad lives in Texas and there’s a high chance he might be hiding there,” Liam explained.

 

Zayn was shocked. He couldn’t figure out what feeling to focus on. Relief that Jason was getting what he deserved as well or fear that he was still out there and could attack again.

 

“Don’t worry Zayn. They’re going to get him as well. Those brothers will be locked away for good. You can choose to charge them for the assault if you want. Their fake alibis worked for the kidnapping but I was a witness to last night. If you choose not to I’ll still support your decision,” Liam said.

 

“This- this is a lot to take in,” Zayn said as his head spun.

 

“Forget about it all and just focus on yourself. Your health. What you need to do to take care of yourself. And like I promised I’m still going to teach you how to box and fight. Come back to my place this evening and we’ll learn some real moves,” Liam said.

 

“Okay. I’m going home for a few days tomorrow so I can learn some stuff today but then I’ll be gone for a few days,” Zayn told him.

 

“Sounds good to me. Ready to leave?” Liam asked.

 

“Sure.” Zayn kissed Ray one last time and they left the kitten in his caged off area with food and water and toys since Mary would be coming over in an hour to clean.

 

 

**

 

“I will kill him. I swear on my mother’s life, if I see him I will murder him. I’m totally against guns and owning them but I will personally buy one and shoot Jason and his fucking brother dead.”

 

Zayn sighed as he watched Louis’ raging face. He was back in his dorm, curled up in Harry’s bed with him, as Louis paced their room, barely controlling his anger. Harry was sniffing beside him, in tears after Zayn had told him everything. And Louis was red with anger. He felt bad about telling them everything because their reactions had been horrible and he hated making them upset.

 

“I think Liam would have actually killed him last night if he hadn’t been distracted by me,” Zayn said.

 

“Well, have you told him everything now? Max and Jason are done for and you should tell Liam the truth now,” Harry said.

 

“I can’t. Max is out on bail and Jason is also still out there although he’s fled God knows where,” Zayn muttered.

 

“Zayn, not to sound harsh but that’s a weak ass reason. Liam deserves the truth from you. He’s putting those fuckers in jail and there is literally no reason for you to give Jason and Max the satisfaction of still being apart from Liam and letting him think you blame him or hate him. Fuck those bastards. You should be with Liam and let them know you’re not afraid. Can’t you see that even though you gave them what they wanted they still didn’t quit? They’re criminals. Liars. You can’t trust them. They can’t do shit now but even if there’s a chance they can, then so what? That’s life. Why sacrifice your love and live in fear? And besides, telling Liam the truth would mean that he could take the measures to keep his safety in check and yours too.” Louis finished his rant and stared at Zayn with determination.

 

“Lou… I can’t. Not yet. This is not a good time to be unraveling the truth,” Zayn murmured.

 

“Zayn… Louis is right,” Harry said softly. “You owe Liam the truth now. Living in pain and heartbreak will only make Max more satisfied. It means he wins.”

 

“Guys... you don’t get it. I’m afraid of telling Liam the truth. He will do something he’ll regret and that might spur Max to do something even more nasty. I would unleash an even bigger and never ending war,” Zayn pointed out in a tired voice.

 

“Zayn,” Louis said in a frustrated voice.

 

“No Lou. No. I have to go to work. And lie to Sam about my face and say I fell,” Zayn muttered.

 

“You can borrow my concealer,” Harry offered and kissed his head.

 

“Call in sick,” Louis said.

 

“No, it’s fine. I need the distraction. I’ll go crazy siting here all day. Then I’m going to Liam’s place later this evening to get boxing lessons,” Zayn said with a sigh.

 

“Maybe consider telling him everything while you’re at it,” Louis said with a raised brow.

 

“Stop Lou. Bye guys,” Zayn said.

 

“Hold on. We’ll walk you to work,” Harry said and quickly stood up. “While those fucks are still out there you’re going to have to use the buddy system. I won’t let you go anywhere alone.”

 

“Alright. Let me change,” Zayn said, he was still in Liam’s clothes from yesterday and while Liam’s scent calmed him, he needed to change to get to work.

 

 

**

 

 

Liam came down his stairs to find Mary and Patrick in his living room. They were setting up a huge Christmas tree beside his fireplace and Liam smiled in confusion.

 

“What’s this you guys?” Liam asked.

 

“Well this year in all the stress you’ve got going on, you forgot to get a Christmas tree. I talked to your mom and she sent this over for you along with ornaments. Don’t worry, you don’t have to move a muscle, we’ll decorate it for you,” Mary said with a smile.

 

“You guys are ridiculous. I don’t need a tree. I’m never home and we’ll be in Aspen for Christmas anyways,” Liam said with a laugh. He picked up an ornament and grinned at the tacky quality. His mom was in love with tacky and cheesy ornaments.

 

“Don’t be silly Liam. Every home should have a tree in December. Otherwise it’s just sad,” Patrick said.

 

“Well thanks guys.” Liam hugged them both and kissed Mary’s head before he went off to his gym to get in a quick work out. Zayn would be over later to have his boxing lesson and Liam wanted to get his own workout over with before he focused on Zayn.

 

An hour had passed by when Liam finished and he walked towards his kitchen to get some water and he heard laughs. He walked in, toweling the sweat off his bare chest and he saw Mary and Patrick pulling their jackets on and Zayn was sat on a stool with Ray in his lap.

 

“Your tree is done Li,” Mary said with a smile.

 

“Thank you.” Liam hugged her from behind and kissed her head before he grabbed some water. He turned around and noticed that Zayn was dragging his eyes up his bare torso. When he caught Liam’s eyes he blushed deeply and looked away. It was reactions like this that confused the fuck out of Liam because he couldn’t tell where Zayn’s head was at.

 

“We’ll see you tomorrow. Your living room looks very festive,” Patrick said. Liam smiled and thanked them again before they both walked off and left the apartment.

 

“Want to check out this festive living room?” Liam asked Zayn with a grin.

 

“Okay.” Zayn still seemed very off and he blinked at Liam before he followed him to the living room.

 

They walked in and Liam was surprised at the transformation. The tree was now covered in lights and ornaments. There was holly across his fireplace and two stockings that said ‘Liam’ and ‘Ray.’ Another blank stocking also hung there and Liam knew exactly what Mary had intended with that. Other decorations also covered the living room and made the place look festive and alive.

 

“This is so pretty,” Zayn gasped.

 

“My mom sent this stuff over and well Mary and Patrick are very into Christmas and so they’re awesome at decorating,” Liam explained.

 

“Wow,” Zayn said and grinned.

 

“Should we start?” Liam asked. Zayn nodded and so they made their way over to the gym. Zayn was dressed in a t-shirt and tracking bottoms and he had a bandanna tied over his wrist again which he had acted very strange about in the vet’s office. Liam didn’t know what it was about but he knew Zayn didn’t want to discuss it.

 

Liam put some music on to fill the silence and walked over to Zayn who was waiting for him by the punching bag. “First let’s learn some defensive moves. I’m going to come at you like I want to hit you and you do whatever you would normally. If this gets too much and reminds you of bad times, let me know and we’ll stop. Okay?”

 

Zayn nodded and so Liam came up to him. He smiled gently at Zayn first who looked extremely nervous. Liam brushed his knuckles under Zayn’s chin to get him to calm down a little. Zayn smiled at him and flushed a little. “Ready?” Liam asked. Zayn nodded and Liam moved forward to send a faux punch in, very slowly, and Zayn ducked.

 

“Ducking is okay,” Liam said. “But what would your counter move be? The attacker could knock your feet off the ground quickly.”

 

“Umm… go for the crotch? I kneed Jason there,” Zayn said with a shrug of his shoulders.

 

Liam laughed as the image of Jason getting kneed in the crotch made him happy. “Brilliant,” Liam said and held his fist out. Zayn bumped it with his own and grinned.

 

“That could work. Or quickly punch them in the abdomen to surprise them,” Liam explained. Zayn nodded and mimicked the move as Liam explained it. They went on like this for an hour until Liam had explained the most basic moves. Zayn caught on pretty quickly and had a few mastered by the hour. They were sweaty and breathless when Liam finally decided to move on to boxing after a quick water break. Zayn was standing in front of the punching bag as he mimicked punches.

 

“Your form needs to be a little like this.” Liam came up behind Zayn and placed hands on his waist. Zayn tensed a little and his breathing became more shallow. But he didn’t move away so Liam guided him gently and showed him to keep his feet apart and how to position his hands.

 

“What about…” Zayn turned quickly and paused in the middle of his sentence when he realized how close he and Liam were. Liam stared at his face and watched the slow sweep of Zayn’s lashes across his sharp cheekbone. His sweaty hair was falling over his forehead and the longer length looked insanely good on him. Zayn stared down at Liam’s bare chest and his eyes lingered on Liam’s nipple piercing. He flushed and quickly looked back up into Liam’s eyes.

 

“… about umm... the gloves?” Zayn asked in a choked voice.

 

“First let’s learn posture,” Liam said with a clearing of his throat. Underneath the smell of sweat, he could smell Zayn’s signature soft jasmine scent and his skin felt warmer than normal.

 

As Liam ran his hands down Zayn’s sides to put him into the correct position, the song switched over to ‘Die for You’ by The Weeknd. They both paused and stared at each other as Abel’s voice filled the room saying, _‘I'm findin' ways to articulate the feeling I'm goin' through, I just can't say I don't love you, 'cause I love you.’_

 

Liam noticed as Zayn swallowed slowly and his hands trembled as he clenched them into fists. Liam motioned for Zayn to copy his movements as he lightly punched the bag. Zayn mimicked everything he did. Liam then circled around Zayn and the punching bag as he observed Zayn repeating the movements.

 

_‘You know what I'm thinkin', see it in your eyes. You hate that you want me, hate it when you cry. You're scared to be lonely, especially in the night. I'm scared that I'll miss you, happens every time.’_

 

The bag was swinging between them and they both stared at each other without any movement. Just standing still. Breathing heavily. Zayn reached his hand up to push his hair out of his eyes and a fire ignited in Liam’s guts. Something told him to move. Something in his body, a burning desire for the boy he loved more than anything in this world told him to go forward. The want that had never died for Zayn told him to move forward.

 

_‘I don't want this feeling, I can't afford love. I try to find reason to pull us apart. It ain't workin,' 'cause you're perfect, and I know that you're worth it, I can't walk away.’_

 

Liam moved to stand right behind Zayn and gripped his hip tightly with one hand and ran his other hand along the bottom of Zayn’s arm to move it up “Like this,” Liam murmured and tried to get Zayn to make a fist but they ended up with intertwined hands.

 

‘ _Even though we're going through it, and it makes you feel alone, just know that I would die for you. Baby I would die for you.’_

 

“Liam,” Zayn whispered with a choked voice. Liam’s front was totally pressed to Zayn’s back and his skin was hot. So very hot.

 

“Zayn,” Liam murmured.

 

Something in the air snapped and Zayn spun around and kissed him with such force that Liam knocked back a little. To say that Liam was surprised and shocked would be an understatement. His body reeled because he was not expecting this from Zayn. The boy made a desperate whimper and that made something crack in Liam. He wrapped his arms around Zayn’s waist and lifted him from the ground as he devoured his mouth.

 

“Fuck, baby,” Liam murmured between hot kisses. Zayn made a soft sound and closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and his legs around his waist. Their tongues met in a tangle and Liam practically consumed the taste of something sweet that covered Zayn’s mouth. It felt like centuries had passed since he had kissed this sweet mouth. The lips that belonged to the boy he would, just as Abel sang in the background, quite literally die for.

 

_‘The distance and the time between us, it'll never change my mind, 'cause baby I would die for you. Baby I would die for you.’_

 

Liam pushed Zayn back against the punching bag. But since it was suspended from the ceiling from a chain, it started to swing. Zayn reached up and gripped the chain in his hands, holding himself up. His legs were still around Liam’s waist which he used to pull the man closer. Liam squeezed his waist and caught his lips in another hungry kiss. Liam bit Zayn’s bottom lip and sucked it into his mouth which elicited a moan from the boy’s mouth. He could feel Zayn starting to get hard and it made Liam’s skin burn in desire. He started to kiss and suck a path down Zayn’s neck which left visible love bites.

 

_‘I would die for you, I would lie for you, keep it real with you, I would kill for you, my baby. I'm just sayin.’_

 

“Take me to bed,” Zayn groaned, breathlessly.

 

“What?” Liam asked. He moved back, his head clearing a little bit. He stared at Zayn’s ruined and red lips. His hair completely fucked over. Red marks on his neck. Liam would have taken him to bed in an instant but the sudden reality of their situation was biting at him. “Zayn… I think you might regret this.”

 

“No. No. I won’t. I don’t give a fuck. Just please, Liam,” Zayn begged with his voice and his eyes. He licked his lips and leaned forward to kiss Liam slowly and torturously. “Please babe. Take me to bed. I’ll think about everything else later. I want you. Right now.” He tightened his legs around Liam’s waist to send a message and Liam squeezed his waist tightly before ducking in to kiss Zayn passionately again.

 

“I need this,” Zayn whispered and the sounds of the chains as Zayn gripped them tightly to pull himself up rung through Liam’s ears and propelled his actions. As Abel’s voice crooned ‘baby I would die for you,’ Liam pulled Zayn into his arms and turned to the door. Zayn whined desperately and latched his mouth onto Liam’s again in hot desperation.

 

This had to be a dream. With every ugly thing they had been through in the past few months, the things Zayn had said to him when they had broken up, Liam never thought he would have this again. Zayn’s warm body in his arms. His lips attached to his own in fire and passion. The taste of Zayn’s mouth. The sound of his moans and whimpers. But they were here. And neither of them could stop.

 

They reached his bedroom pretty quickly, which was semi-dark, with light coming in from the bathroom. Enough for Liam to see Zayn’s face clearly. His eyes that were hazy and drowning in a kind of lust that Liam thought Zayn didn’t have for him anymore. Liam dropped Zayn onto his bed and climbed on top of him. Zayn pulled him down with desperate hands just as Liam grabbed his thighs to yank him a little down. Liam licked his way into Zayn’s mouth and the boy moaned and started to grind up.

 

“What do you want baby?” Liam whispered into Zayn’s ear before kissing down his neck again.

 

“You. Please. All of you,” Zayn panted.

 

Liam continued to move downwards and pushed Zayn’s shirt all the way up so he could kiss along his chest and tease his nipples which made Zayn gasp. Liam smiled and continued to kiss down Zayn’s stomach which had him trembling from sensitivity.

 

“Liam,” Zayn sighed and arched his back as Liam licked along his hipbones.

 

“I need to be in you baby,” Liam whispered and moved up to kiss Zayn gently.

 

“Please. Do it,” Zayn said. He was staring at Liam with desperation ringed around his golden eyes. His God damn eyes.

 

Liam grabbed the hem of Zayn’s shirt and started to tug it off. Zayn leaned up so Liam could tug it off properly. His hair became disorderly and he reached a hand up to push it back. Liam smiled at him and leaned forward to kiss Zayn between his eyes. The boy closed his eyes as if he was drinking the moment in. Liam glanced at Zayn’s wrist and noticed that his bandanna was dangling off. It must have come off when he tugged his shirt off. Liam was about to mention it to Zayn when he saw dark ink underneath it. He became slightly confused when he saw a cursive ‘L.’

 

Liam reached forward and took Zayn’s wrist to turn it over. What he saw made every muscle in his body clench and his head reeled like he had fallen over. Like he had been thrown through a window of glass and sustained a head injury. Liam pressed his finger over Zayn’s wrist and stared at the tattoo on Zayn’s arm. In cursive, that looked exactly like his ‘Zayn’ tattoo, there was a tattoo on Zayn’s wrist that read ‘Liam.’

 

“Zayn…” Liam whispered in a tight voice. Zay turned his head to see what Liam was looking at it. When he saw his bare wrist and the fallen bandanna beside it, his eyes widened and he quickly sat up. He swiftly pulled his arm into his lap and clamped a hand over his wrist as he if could cover the words and undo what Liam had seen.

 

“Liam, I can explain,’” Zayn said hastily. His entire body was shaking.

 

This wasn’t happening. Was he dreaming? Was this a sick joke? Liam stared at Zayn wordlessly as his heart threatened to beat out of his chest.

 

“What… the fuck is this Zayn?” Liam asked and lifted Zayn’s wrist again to stare at the tattoo. “You said you couldn’t stand my presence. You said you would rather be with someone else. You said you fell out of love with me. _You broke up with me._ So why the fuck do you have my name tattooed on your wrist?!” Liam sounded hysterical but he couldn’t even care right now.

 

Zayn had obviously gotten this a little while after they had broken up because that was when he started to wear the bandanna as far as Liam could remember. But why did he have it? Why did he keep it covered? What was happening right now? His head was reeling. His brain could have exploded in that moment. His heart was already jumping out of his chest.

 

“ _Zayn_. What. Is. This? You said you didn’t love me anymore so what is this?!” Liam shouted and stared at Zayn, begging him with his eyes to provide an answer before the whole world collapsed around him.

 

“I never stopped loving you!” Zayn screamed and burst into tears. “I love you, I’ve always loved you, I’ve never stopped loving you!”

 

Liam moved back as if he had been punched and stared at Zayn in silence because the air had been stolen from his lungs and he couldn’t utter a single word right now.

 

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've waited for soooo long to get to this point. It literally feels like a relief. Whenever I saw people's comments about hoping that Liam would see the tattoo and how he would see it and when everything would be revealed I would just think internally 'a little while longer!' I've also been excited to write that scene in the gym where the sexual tension snaps between them and it was fun. Now that everything is about to be in the open things are going to escalate. The last 2-3 chapters may have felt slow to you guys cus nothing too monumental was happening, although if you think about it they've only been apart for like 3-4 chapters? And in the overall length of this fic that feels like nothing. But anyways we've only got a few chapters more to go :'( I think I finally have a number because I know exactly what's left to do and this fic will be 25 or 26 chapters and one of them is an epilogue, so like 3 chaps to go. I'm already sad because it's been almost a year since I started (January 2017) and this year has been a fucking mess but this fic was my constant. Anyways, I love you guys and thank you for continuing to support me and read this fic and I also want to apologize for some messages I haven't replied to yet on tumblr or twitter but I honestly don't get online much anymore but I promise I will try to reply in the next few days cus ur mssgs mean the world to me.
> 
> Hope you guys have a wonderful Christmas if you celebrate and happy holidays too! Before December is over I hope (fingers crossed) I will get one or two more chapters up but I don't want to make promises because I am a little busy. But there's a Christmas chapter and I want that to be up in December because it fits the mood :)
> 
> French Translations (btw I use google for these so apologies if it's a little off):  
> -c'est magnifique : it's magnificent  
> -je t'aime : I love you  
> -Je t'aime de tout mon coeur : I love you with all my heart  
> -artiste: artist


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hope you guys have been good and had a nice Christmas if you celebrate and nice holidays overall! I wanted to get this chapter up before Christmas, but oh well things happen. Thank you so much as always for your continued love and support, we're literally only two chapters away from the end and oh boy that makes me so emotional. But for now I hope you enjoy this tumultuous chapter which has been one of my favourites to write :) I love you all, thank you so much for the insane amount of support and love and bringing this fic to this point! I hope you enjoy this long ass chapter of 24k words!<33
> 
> **TW: warning for some major violence. If you would like to skip a scene of extensive violence, skip the part where Liam goes to Tony's.

 

Someone could have poured kerosene over his body and then lit him on fire but he would have barely noticed in that moment. Liam felt like his ears were ringing because he surely couldn’t have heard correctly. Zayn had said that he loved him. That he had never stopped loving him. And Liam couldn’t even breathe because this moment wasn’t real. It couldn’t be.

 

“What?” Liam whispered.

 

Zayn dropped his face into his hands and cried heavily as his shoulders shook and his thick tears rolled down his wrists and arms. Liam stared at the tattoo expecting it to be erased by Zayn’s tears because this had to be some joke. But no. Liam reached over slowly and took Zayn’s hand again. He turned Zayn’s wrist over and traced his fingers over the tattoo.

 

“L-Liam… I’m so sorry. I- I’m so sorry but I was desperate. I had no other way out,” Zayn cried. He reached his shaky hands up to cup Liam’s face but Liam moved back a little. The hurt he saw on Zayn’s face in that moment tore him apart. But he couldn’t understand anything right now. He was in complete and utter shock. The kind that paralyzes your mind and body both.

 

The thing was, that Liam had imagined a moment like this since the day they had broken up. He constantly envisioned a moment where Zayn would come up to him and say that he did not hate him and still loved him very much. That everything had been one big nightmare. But over the past month or so, he had come to terms with the fact that Zayn didn’t want to be with him ever again and he needed to stop hoping he would. So, hearing those words now felt like a mix between a wistful dream, sweet in the middle of the night, but bordering on tragic that pulls you awake in tears. Unreal. An outer body experience. Like watching this scene unfold from far above.

“Jaan…” Zayn whispered tearfully. And _that_ was when Liam snapped. He quickly got off the bed and went to stand in front of his roof-to-floor length windows. He gazed out at the city lights that looked almost magical in the light snowfall. But the way his heart was lurching from his chest and he felt like he may vomit was overwhelming.

 

“Why?” Liam asked in a tight voice. He heard Zayn take a shaky breath behind him and he knew the boy was still crying but he couldn’t even look at him right now. He was imagining a million things right now. Zayn had never stopped loving him? Why did he crush his heart and say such awful things? Why ruin the love they had? What the fuck had happened?

 

“M- Max… Jason…” Zayn choked out and Liam closed his eyes. He was standing upright but he felt like he had fallen through the 50 stories of his building. His breathing may as well have stopped and a dam had burst open in him. A dam of anger and frustration. Of confusion.

 

“Max and Jason what?” Liam ground out.

 

“They… they threatened,” Zayn whispered from behind him. “They threatened me when they kidnapped me… th-they said that if I didn’t break your heart… if I didn’t leave you... pretend I hated you… they would… they would…”

 

“They would what Zayn?!” Liam shouted as he spun around. Zayn was sitting in the middle of the bed with his hands folded in his lap as his thick tears rolled down uncontrollably.

 

“They would hurt you!” Zayn yelled back. “They could seriously injure you or kill you! The idea of you hurt or dead left me no choice! The option was to be selfish and stay with you and let them harm you, or give them one satisfaction of me breaking your heart but ensure you were safe! That’s a price I would pay again if I had to! Your life is worth more to me than being happy!”

 

Liam stared at him, completely confounded. Of all the things he had expected, this was not one of them. Of all the things he had imagined Zayn to say right now, this wasn’t it. He had a feeling Max and Jason may have been involved but nothing this ludicrous. Liam stared at him in complete silence.

 

“Zayn… baby… what have you done?” Liam asked in a low voice, full of shock. He rubbed his hand down his face and leaned back against the window as he tried to absorb the insanity of the words thrown at him.

 

“You can’t even look at me. You hate me for what I’ve done,” Zayn cried into his hands. His slim form was covered in shadows across one half and he shook as he cried. No matter what the circumstance, he could never see Zayn cry. Liam went over to the bed and knelt in front of Zayn.  He reached over and took Zayn’s hand into his own. He pressed tender kisses to the back of it and reached up to wipe Zayn’s face.

 

“My love…” Liam murmured. Zayn blinked at him for a few seconds, then crawled forward on the bed and slipped down into Liam’s lap. He wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and buried his face into his shoulder. Liam closed his eyes and let the moment happen. He had been craving the feeling of Zayn in his arms for months now. Liam pressed kisses along the edge of Zayn’s face and then moved back and kissed all up his tear tracks. Zayn moved back to kiss all over Liam’s face desperately.

 

“I love you jaan… I love you so fucking much. I’ve never stopped loving you and it killed me to have to pretend I did,” Zayn whispered through tears. “I kept wishing that I would die rather than have to live through the unbearable pain. It felt like my heart was being torn from my chest every single day, stomped on, and then put back into my chest in pieces. And then repeated the next day.”

 

Liam stayed silent because he wanted to let Zayn speak his heart out. But truthfully, right now he felt even more crushed than he had when Zayn had broken up with him. Liam kissed Zayn’s head then moved up to help him onto the bed. Liam was about to pull back but Zayn grabbed his hand.

 

“Why aren’t you saying anything?” Zayn asked with wide eyes. “Please say something! Either yell at me or kiss me because I’m looking at your face and I’m going crazy!”

 

“Zayn…” Liam said with a sigh. “I… I can’t wrap my head around the fact that you chose to make a decision that effected the rest of our lives and left us both completely devastated, rather than come to me to talk about it all. I thought you trusted me, clearly not.”

 

“No! I did! I do!” Zayn said hastily. He tried to reach for him but Liam slipped to the end of the bed and buried his face in his hands.

 

“Our relationship wasn’t stable enough for you to tell me what Max was telling you to do? You took such a huge step on your own? You would rather us live the rest of our lives completely miserable and heart-broken rather than tell me everything and let me handle Max? I could have dealt with his petty threats like I did just now. Why did you tear us apart?” Liam questioned as his mind continued to remain a mess.

 

“You don’t get it. They showed me pictures. They were stalking you. They told me they could just tamper with your brakes or have someone attack you with ease. Do you understand what that did to me? I would have died for you. That’s how much I love you,” Zayn said and rubbed his tears away with the back of his hands. He was shivering so he grabbed his shirt to pull it back on.

 

“But you could have come to me,” Liam said in a tired voice and pinched his forehead. “How was us being apart any easier than me being hurt? Losing you felt a lot like dying anyways and I would have rather risked being hurt but still having you, than losing you completely which feels like dying every single day.”

 

“Put yourself in my shoes for a second,” Zayn said in a low voice. “If someone told you that either you stay with me and they would come after me and hurt me, or you break up with me and ensure my safety, what would you do?”

 

Liam was stunned into silence again. He didn’t even have to give an answer because he was sure Zayn could see it on face. He knew it in the instant Zayn uttered those words. He knew it in a heartbeat. Zayn reached over and squeezed his hand gently. “Love is selfless. Love is about putting the other person’s health and happiness before our own. Love is forgetting about ourselves and being ready to sacrifice everything for our loved one. Love is two bodies one soul. And I would do anything for the other half of my soul.”

 

Liam turned to Zayn and cupped his face. He stared into his glassy hazel eyes and shook his head. “And I would have done anything to keep us together.”  
  
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Zayn whispered and leaned forward to kiss him. Liam fell into it out of old habit. Zayn’s lips were warm and soft against his own and Liam licked them gently to push into Zayn’s mouth. Zayn opened easily and sighed as Liam ran his tongue against his. Zayn fell backwards on the bed and pulled Liam down with him. The long passionate kiss turned into shorter pecks until Liam kissed a trail down Zayn’s jaw to his neck. He buried his face there and inhaled Zayn’s scent for a few moments. Zayn hugged him tightly and they just held onto each other for a few moments.

 

Then Liam moved back and ran his thumb along the sharp of Zayn’s cheekbone. They were simply staring into each other’s eyes for a few seconds as everything still felt a little too surreal. Then Liam moved back to sit up again and he saw in Zayn’s face how his heart broke that very moment. “You should go home Zayn.”

 

“Why?” Zayn’s voice shook with tears.

 

“I need to think about all this Zayn. I feel like I’m dreaming right now and I can’t process anything,” Liam said softly.

 

“You don’t want to be with me,” Zayn said in a cracked voice.

 

“It’s not that Zayn. I just can’t help but think about everything this did to _you_. Forget me for a second. Max kidnapped you and threatened you. He then continued to have you stalked to make sure you did what he wanted and then Jason attacked you when, from no fault of your own, Max ended up in jail. All of this has fucked with your life so much and it goes back to the fact that we were together and we were in love and they used it to their advantage. You never deserved any of this and you were caught right in the middle. It makes me think that maybe I wasn’t and still am not good for you,” Liam murmured.

 

“What? No! Don’t say that!” Zayn quickly came up and hugged him tightly from behind. “Please don’t say that. You are above and beyond anything I could have imagined for myself. You’re the love of my life and being without you for a few months has made me feel like I’m hanging off a thin wire with nothing but an abyss below me. And I’ve been terrified of falling and losing myself and everything I am completely. But if you say things like I that, I will fall Liam. I will fall.”

 

“I think it’s best if we take some time apart so we can think about this Zayn. At least I need to think about this. You dropped a bomb on me and Max and Jason are still out there. I can’t- I can’t even think.” Liam rubbed a hand down his face and he felt Zayn move away from him, leaving his body cold.

 

“Okay. I’ll leave,” Zayn said softly, his voice shaking. “Just know… all I ever wanted was your safety. And if Max hadn’t been caught and was still out here making direct threats, I probably wouldn’t have been able to tell you. But I’m also starting to realize that giving him what he wanted was half his victory. And I may regret the pain we went through, but I do not regret choosing your life over my heart.”

 

Zayn started to slide off the bed but Liam reached out and took his hand to stop him. “Tell me one thing… why did you kiss Maheer?”

 

“To make it believable,” Zayn answered. “I lied the first time when you walked in… nothing had happened… but in the club… that was the first and only time I kissed him… or anyone other than you. Max felt like I was slipping and he said I had do something to seal the deal so you wouldn’t suspect anything.”

 

“Fucking hell. Fuck. What… what the fuck Zayn. You did all this because they told you to? Because you didn’t want me finding out?” Liam exclaimed. “I don’t even know…”  
  
“I told you once that you were the only person I wanted be with in every way. Emotional and physical. You were the only person I wanted to kiss for the rest of my life. And that never changed. The circumstance was fucked up but I did it for you. And you should know that Maheer never liked me like that. He was genuinely a nice guy who didn’t deserve to get caught up in this,” Zayn revealed.

 

Liam sighed and dropped his head into his hands again. The colossal amount of information Zayn had thrown at him made him feel like he was buried ten feet under. As every second went on he began to feel even more self-loathe, because the worst thing, the actual worst thing about this all was that he hadn’t been able to figure it out. He thought he knew Zayn and knew his heart. So then how had he fallen privy to Zayn’s façade? How had he not seen through the wall of lies and seen the truth in Zayn’s heart? Had they been that fragile?

 

“I guess I’ll go then,” Zayn whispered tearfully. “I’m so sorry Liam. I’ll never stop being sorry.”

 

Liam sat there, still, as Zayn walked out. And for the second time in the past few months, he made the mistake of letting him leave.

 

 

**

 

Zayn walked into his dorm room in a robotic state. He walked straight to his bed and fell down onto it. He stared down at his naked wrist and blinked at the tattoo.

 

“Zayn?”

 

Zayn looked across from him where Harry had rolled over in bed. He was rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he sat up. He stared at Zayn in confusion.

 

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked softly.

 

“Liam found out about everything,” Zayn whispered.

 

Harry looked shocked and he threw off his blanket to sit up properly. “And?” Harry questioned.

 

“And… and he told me to leave,” Zayn choked out.

 

“Oh, babe,” Harry murmured. He quickly ran over to Zayn and hugged him tightly. Zayn dropped his head onto Harry’s shoulder and let his tears fall more freely. He felt more destroyed than he had when he had first broken up with Liam.

 

 

**

 

The temperature was icy cold. Taking in a breath felt like icicles were piercing his lungs. But he could barely care. Liam sat on his roof and tossed back the last of his scotch as he stared at the city lights. He stared without seeing as he continued to try and absorb the painfully tremendous information Zayn had thrown at him. This was the moment where he felt like he had passed surreal and entered another dimension all together. There must be parallel world where all of this was happening and he was simply experiencing déjà vu in the real world. How was it that when he had come to terms with their breakup, had started to accept Zayn’s hate for him, had realized they wouldn’t be spending the rest of their lives together, Zayn ended up shattering his entire world again?

 

Life was one sick game. He was being thrown from one pit of hell into another constantly. Even though he had been waiting and wishing for this exact moment to happen, he felt broken when it finally did. How had this happened? How had he not seen the truth in Zayn’s eyes? When he returned so broken and distant after the kidnapping, Liam should have dug deeper. He should have looked deeper into Zayn’s heart. He should have trusted their love. And that wasn’t the only thing he was resenting. He knew that this all lead back to him. Max threatened Zayn and forced him to make such a fucked up deal because he knew Zayn would have done anything for him. He targeted their love. He took advantage of what he knew he could easily manipulate. Zayn had been living a life of hell all because of his relationship with Liam. Because he loved Liam. And because Liam loved him.

 

In the dark chaos of his mind, he couldn’t figure out whether he wanted to drive over to Zayn’s dorm right that very second and pull him up into his arms to kiss him endlessly and promise him that they would fix everything and never part again, or if he should make the painful decision to part from Zayn for good because being linked to Liam had caused him nothing but pain. The latter choice would tear him to pieces because Zayn was his entire world, his heart and soul, and despite struggling to move on these past few months, he wouldn’t be able to live the rest of his life without him, knowing that Zayn carried the same love in his heart.

 

Liam got up from the chair and stripped down to his briefs. He walked over to the pool and plunged straight into the freezing cold water. The icy water shocked him to his core and helped numb the fire burning under his skin. He closed his eyes and let the water wash over him as he sunk down. Silence surrounded him and he welcomed it to shut down his screaming thoughts.

 

**

 

Zayn woke up shivering and blinked around his dorm room that was starting to fill with the early morning golden hues. He realized that he had fallen asleep without his blanket over him and he reached down to tug it over his body. As he tugged it up, his eyes fell onto his tattoo and last night came crashing back to him. He paused and dropped the weight of the blanket over his body as he sighed deeply. He had wished that everything last night had been a nightmare and he would wake up without Liam having seen his tattoo. Actually, if he was wishing for things, he would wish that the last few months had never happened, Max had never crossed their path and him and Liam were together and happy.

 

Zayn picked up his phone to check the time and saw that it was close to 7 a.m. Liam would be making his way to work in the next hour. Zayn had nothing to do today since he was on holiday from college and he didn’t have a shift at the café. Zayn quickly shot up from his bed and pulled on some warm clothes. Then he pulled on a beanie and jacket and left the room quietly as Harry was still sleeping. He took a cab to Payne Corporations and picked up some coffee, croissants and a hot chocolate for himself. He then walked into the building and took the elevator up with a rattling heart. If Liam told him to leave again, he would walk away with a crushed heart. But he needed to see the man after last night. He needed to make sure he was okay and maybe explain himself a little more.

 

After the elevator reached Liam’s floor, he walked out cautiously and turned the corner to the reception area. His legs were shaky and his heart was beating like crazy. But he took a deep breath and came up to the reception desk where Rosie and Lesley were occupied taking calls. Zayn stood there awkwardly for a second and then cleared his throat, causing Rosie to look up. She looked surprised at first and then gave him a small smile. The awkwardness of his and Liam’s situation ran through everyone around them.

 

“Hi Zayn,” Rosie said.

 

“Hi Rosie. Is Liam in yet?” Zayn asked.

 

“Yes, he got in a few minutes ago,” Rosie replied.

 

“Can I… Can I go in?” Zayn sounded hesitant.

 

“Sure,” Rosie nodded and smiled at him. Zayn thanked her and turned towards Liam’s office. He took a deep breath and knocked lightly on the door as he balanced the drinks. He heard a muffled ‘come in’ from the other side and he pushed the door open. When Zayn entered, he saw Liam sat at his desk as he typed on his laptop. He didn’t look up until Zayn was stood right across from him.

 

“Meemz did you get my email-” Liam looked up but paused halfway through his sentence. He looked shocked when he saw Zayn and he became a little speechless.

 

“Please don’t throw me out,” Zayn whispered.

 

“I’m not going to throw you out Zayn,” Liam replied gently. “But can I ask what you’re doing here?”

 

“I- I’m not too sure. I just woke up and thought of you and thought of last night. I wanted to see you and make sure you didn’t hate me,” Zayn explained in a trembling voice. His hands shook as he gripped the tray of drinks and he stared down at the cup where the barista had misspelled his name as ‘Zane.’

 

Liam stared at him in silence for a few seconds before he got up from his chair and circled the desk to come stand in front of him. He took the tray from Zayn and set it down. Then he cupped Zayn’s cheek with one hand and gently pushed off his beanie with the other hand as he leaned in to kiss his forehead.

 

“I don’t hate you. It’s physically impossible to hate you,” Liam murmured against his skin. He pecked it once more before he swept his fingers under Zayn’s jaw and then stepped away. Liam leaned back against his desk as Zayn sat down in one of the chairs in front of him.

 

“I brought you breakfast. Step one of a thousand to make amends,” Zayn said with a small smile as he handed Liam the cup of coffee. Liam smiled back gently and took the cup from Zayn. He took a sip as he regarded Zayn seriously which made the boy feel jittery.

 

“Zayn –”

 

“Don’t. Don’t say it,” Zayn said shakily.

 

“What?” Liam said in confusion, his brows furrowed.

 

“You’re going to say that it’s best we stay away from each other. You’re going to say that it’s best we walk out of each other’s lives. I can see it on your face. You were hinting at it last night. Please don’t Liam,” Zayn pleaded.

 

“Didn’t you want the exact same thing?” Liam asked. “Up until yesterday you were hoping for the exact same thing and working hard to make sure it stayed that way. What’s different now?”

 

“Everything,” Zayn said as he looked up at Liam with teary eyes. “I feel like the illusion I was living in for the past few months has shattered completely and now I feel like I’m standing on a dark empty road with no idea which way to go. I’m stuck. But all I know is that I cannot lose you completely. This whole situation has made it obvious that no matter how hard I tried to do my best and keep up what Max wanted, it didn’t matter because he did whatever he wanted to anyways. My honesty meant nothing.”

 

“And what do you want now?” Liam asked.

 

Zayn paused and stared into Liam’s inquisitive eyes. Truly, he didn’t know if he should spill his heart out and ask for what he wanted more than anything or realize that maybe this time it would be Liam who would cut the cord.

 

“I want to have coffee with you,” Zayn said in a low voice and lifted his cup to his mouth.

 

Liam smiled in surprise as he picked up his own cup. “You don’t drink coffee.”

 

“I know. It’s hot chocolate. There’s peppermint for kick,” Zayn muttered.

 

“Hell of a kick,” Liam said and went back to sit in his chair. Zayn pushed the croissant over to him and Liam looked at him before he tore off half and pushed the rest over to Zayn.

 

Zayn’s heart fluttered a little for no reason and he picked up the other half and slowly nibbled at it. There was a second croissant in the bag but something about sharing with Liam made him feel… happy.

 

“How is work?” Zayn asked. Liam’s deep sigh and raised eyebrow made Zayn wish he hadn’t asked the question. “Sorry. Must not be the best with everything that’s going on.”

“No it’s fine. We’re working past the damages and we’ve gained control again. My mind is usually occupied with Max’s shit,” Liam sighed.

 

“I’m sorry. The fire probably happened because I wasn’t being careful and got too close to you again –”

 

“Zayn,” Liam sounded stern. “Promise me one thing. You have to stop apologizing for anything related to Max. You have no reason to blame yourself because him targeting you and threatening you is all on him. Not on you.”

 

“I know but I- I can’t help but feel responsible for half your pain,” Zayn replied.

 

“Then how do you think I feel when I think about everything you’ve been through because of me?” Liam asked softly.

 

“Will we be okay?” Zayn asked in a rocky voice.

 

“I don’t know,” Liam answered in a tired voice. “And I don’t want to run out on you right now but I have a meeting so I have to get going.”

 

“Oh… okay. Can we talk about… everything… soon?” Zayn questioned hopefully.

 

“Hopefully. I have a few things to tie up this week before I leave on Friday to go to Aspen with my family for Christmas. I won’t be back until after New Year’s,” Liam told him as he stood up and grabbed his jacket and phone.

 

“Oh,” Zayn murmured, disheartened. “Well… see you in 2018 then.”

 

“I’m going to see you before then,” Liam said as he stopped in front of Zayn and cupped his cheek gently. “Need a lift anywhere?”

 

“I can find my way back.” Zayn wasn’t sure whether he was just talking about finding his way home, or to the way things used to be.

 

“Okay. Walk down with me then,” Liam said. He handed Zayn his beanie which he had tugged off earlier. Zayn accepted it with a tiny smile and pulled it on. Liam reached up and adjusted it for him before he rubbed a thumb along Zayn’s jaw and turned to the door. Zayn followed him out quietly and when they walked through the reception area he saw Ameera stood by Rosie and Lesley. They all stared at the two of them and Ameera smiled gently at Zayn when she caught his eye.

 

They were riding the elevator down in silence when Zayn looked towards Liam who was leaning against the opposite wall with his hands in his pockets and his eyes trained on Zayn’s face. There was a kind of pain and desire swirling in his eyes in a tangle. Zayn took a shaky breath and leaned back against the wall to support himself. He stared back at Liam without saying anything. The man took a few steps towards him and came right up to Zayn to grip his hips and press his forehead to Zayn’s.

 

“Do you know how much I’ve fucking missed you?” Liam whispered.

 

“I may have an idea. Because I missed you just as much if not more,” Zayn whispered back. Liam kissed the side of his head and held onto him for a few seconds.

 

“It hurts to think that we didn’t have to feel like this at all,” Liam murmured so quietly that Zayn wasn’t sure if he was meant to hear.

 

“I’m sorry,” Zayn said softly.

 

“You’re not supposed to apologize Zayn. This isn’t because of you,” Liam pointed out.

 

“Are you going to kiss me?” Zayn hated how hopeful he sounded.

 

“I want to. I want to, so fucking badly,” Liam said in a low voice and wrapped his arms tightly around Zayn’s waist to tug him forward. Zayn waited breathlessly but Liam just kissed the side of his face. Then he moved back to look at Zayn and rubbed a thumb over his lips. Zayn held onto Liam’s wrist and turned his face a little to kiss his palm. They were still pressed against the wall when the elevator opened on the main floor.

 

Liam moved away swiftly as people started to pour in. He took Zayn’s hand and walked through the lobby towards the door.  Zayn walked beside him in silence as Liam replied shortly to people’s greetings. When they got outside where Patrick was waiting for Liam, Zayn stopped and looked at his face. Liam opened his car door and then paused to look at Zayn.

 

“I’ll see you Zayn,” Liam said. Zayn nodded and shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. Liam touched his face gently before he slipped into his car. Zayn took a shaky breath and watched as Liam drove away, feeling empty.

 

 

 

**

 

 

Liam was driving away from his office building after having said goodbye to Zayn when his phone rang. The caller ID indicated that it was Niall and he picked it up.

 

“Yeah Niall?” Liam answered.

 

“They found Jason,” Niall started off. “He came back to see his mom and he was arrested.”

 

Those words brought on a deep sense of satisfaction and relief but at the same time Liam felt it wasn’t enough. For everything those brothers had done, just getting arrested did not seem enough.

 

“I get the feeling that Jason will get out on bail too but despite all that his sentence will be lighter than Max’s. And knowing the Freeman’s, they could hire a lawyer which would ensure Jason gets nothing but some community service,” Liam said with some irritation in his voice.

 

“I know Liam. And that is highly likely. I just think it’s time someone convinces Zayn to get a restraining order against Jason, and Max too. Maybe you should as well. So, if they ever come near you guys again there will be heavier repercussions,” Niall stated.

 

“I know. Zayn could also file for assault charges against Jason given everything he’s done,” Liam added.

 

“If you’re not comfortable with talking to Zayn given your whole breakup, I can talk to him or Ameera can,” Niall offered.

 

“Yeah… about that,” Liam muttered as the reminder of Zayn and the reality between them ripped through his heart again.

 

“What?” Niall asked curiously.

 

“I’m going into a meeting now,” Liam said as he exited his car. “Meet me for lunch at Daniel’s. We need to talk.”

 

“You sound ominous,” Niall said with a small chuckle. “See you at noon.”

 

“See you, asshole,” Liam said and shut his phone.

 

 

 

**

 

“That is so… what the fuck? You’re kidding right? That kind of twisted shit only happens in movies.”

 

Liam rubbed his head as he tried to let Niall get out his disbelief at the words he had just said. Liam shot a glance towards Ameera who was sat to Niall’s left, having joined them for lunch, and she seemed more contemplative than surprised.

 

“Listen Niall. I still haven’t gotten a full grasp on this bullshit myself yet so let’s not get down into the nitty gritty right now,” Liam muttered and washed the bitterness in his mouth down with some water.

 

“I know Liam. But what the fuck? They’ve been torturing Zayn mentally for so long and no one noticed? None of us noticed?” Niall asked with some anger in his tone.

 

“Niall,” Ameera murmured and squeezed his hand as she seemed to noticed Liam’s tight expression. “Liam, I know where your head is going and don’t do that to yourself. You need to be stable right now okay? For yourself and for Zayn. He’s going to be in a dark place as this all comes crumbling down and he’ll blame himself. You need to be there for him okay? I can’t even say that I’m too surprised Max had a hand in this because Zayn used to talk in code all the time and the look in his eyes never seemed to tell me that he hated you. He always seemed like he was trying too hard to mask the insane amount of love he held for you.”

 

“Your words don’t make anything easier Ameera. Do you think it helps knowing that I am the root of this issue? That Zayn went through hell because of me? That someone targeted his vulnerable side and his soft heart and took advantage of that? And not to forget that on top of everything Zayn didn’t feel safe coming to me about everything and rather made this huge decision on his own?” Liam threw out bitterly.

 

“Liam,” Ameera said with a furrowed brow. “Don’t do this. Don’t blame yourself or Zayn.”

 

“That’s the thing. I’m not blaming Zayn. I’m not blaming him at all. It’s all my fucking fault. Like you said, his love was so obvious in his eyes all along and I couldn’t dig deep enough to see it. How fucked up is that?” Liam asked with a dark laugh.

 

“Liam… that’s not your fault. Zayn did a really fucking good job of convincing you and everyone that he despised you. And that whole thing with Maheer made it worse. Any person in your shoes would have believed it,” Niall said gently.

 

“Whatever. It doesn’t matter. I have a lot of things to think about. Maybe it’s best if Zayn stays away from me. I’ve done no good for him,” Liam said with a sigh.

 

“Liam,” Ameera began in a disappointed tone. “You guys deserve to be together and happy. Do not let those assholes ruin what you have. It’s rare what you and Zayn have. Don’t throw it away.”

 

Liam sighed and looked down at his watch to see that he needed to be back at work for another meeting in a half hour. “Listen guys. We’ll talk more later. Niall let me know if Jason gets out on bail and find out when Max’s hearing will be.”  


“Alright. And will you talk to Zayn about a restraining order?” Niall asked.

 

“Probably. Although I think we need some space to think things over,” Liam said.

 

“I can talk to him,” Ameera suggested.

 

“I’ll do it,” Liam told her with a pat to her shoulder. “I still need to talk to him. Properly.”

 

“Maybe kiss his pretty face off to wipe that frown off your face,” Niall said with a smile.

 

Liam shook his head and grabbed his phone off the table before putting some money down on the table to cover their bill. He kissed Ameera’s cheek and squeezed Niall’s shoulder before he collected his jacket from the coat check and left the restaurant. Patrick was waiting for him and Liam slipped into the car. Right before they were about to drive away, the door opened and someone got in beside him. Liam looked over in surprise thinking that it might be Ameera or Niall, but to his complete shock, it was Max.

 

“Are you fucking-” Liam began and grabbed Max by his collar to push him out the car.

 

“Just listen to me for five minutes or know that I have someone watching Zayn right this very second and if they take him this time it’ll be impossible to find him,” Max warned.

 

“You are literally days away from being thrown in prison and you want to threaten _me_?” Liam shouted. “Have you literally lost it Max? I could kill you!”

 

“Jason was charged with assault and battery, kidnapping and sexual assault earlier today. Our lawyers said it’s going to be harder to get him out of prison time now compared to before,” Max said with an angry glint in his eyes.

 

“You’re out on bail. You’re not supposed to be here,” Liam said, although his head was spinning as he tried to figure out how this had happened when Zayn had refused to come forward.

“Listen to me Payne. I will get a plea deal for my embezzlement charges and won’t be in there for too long. When I get out I won’t let you breathe in peace. But if you let my brother go, I’ll give it all up. I’ll stop. He doesn’t deserve all this. He did it for me. Our family doesn’t deserve to lose both sons at once,” Max said in a tight voice.

 

Liam couldn’t help the sharp laughter that escaped his mouth. “Are you fucking kidding me? Are you actually fucking kidding me? He doesn’t deserve it? Did you hear the words leave your mouth as you said them? Every single charge laid against him is true and he deserves to rot in prison for it. I would kill him if I could but this is sufficient too.”

 

“You can put an end to it right now Payne. Or just know that it’ll go on. It’ll never stop. I’ll keep coming after you and keep coming after Zayn. I’ll make your lives hell,” Max said as he glared at him. There was anger flushed across his face but his eyes held desperation and defeat that Liam relished in. But his anger at the fact that Max was still making these threats made him want to rip the other man apart right now.

 

“You listen to me Max. I am going to end this once and for all. You’ll get a text tonight that will have an address and time. Be there or you’ll realize how much worse I can make this for you,” Liam told him.

 

“Where? I’ll be in violation of my bail if I leave a certain perimeter or stay out past 8,” Max glowered.

 

“You’re not exactly upholding your bail conditions right now either. And this is your last chance to finally end everything. Now get the fuck out of my car.” Liam pushed open the door and waited for Max to leave. Max gave him an empty glare. There was hesitation and fear swimming in his eyes which gave Liam a hint of satisfaction. Max got out of the car and slammed the door behind himself.

 

They had been battling with words and attacks on family members and each other’s business up until now. Max didn’t seem to understand the language behind it. But if the only thing he understood was violence, then that’s what Liam would give him.

 

 

 

**

 

Everything fell out in a tumble and spilled across his blue sheets. The Cartier bracelet glinted as it rolled to a stop near his pillow. Zayn picked it up and ran a tentative finger across the diamonds embedded in the bracelet. He grabbed the chain with the key on it and unlocked it. He let the bracelet hang limply on his arm without locking it in. He didn’t have the heart to lock it on himself. He felt like he didn’t have the right to wear it. Not yet. Not anymore. Probably not ever.

 

“Babe? I’m leaving.”  


Zayn looked up to see Harry standing in the doorway with luggage beside him. Zayn smiled and walked over to Harry to hug him. The other boy laughed and hugged him back tightly.

 

“I’m so proud of you Zayn. Taking that step today and going to the police… that took courage that I’m sure many people don’t have. Whatever you’ve been through isn’t easy and most people will never understand your experience. But you took a stand today for yourself. You fought back and I’m so proud of you for it.” Harry kissed his head and moved back with tears in his eyes. Zayn nodded and hugged him again.

 

“I know Haz. But I couldn’t have it done it without you or Louis or Don Baji,” Zayn murmured. After he had left Liam’s office earlier and had seen his car driving away, it seemed like a final nail in the coffin of their relationship. He felt exhausted. He felt diminished. He realized he had actually lost. When he had sacrificed his relationship to keep Liam safe, he felt in his heart that he taken the right step for Liam’s safety. But when every ugly truth had spilled out into the open, he had felt more emptier than before. He had felt defeated. Liam knew and things hadn’t gotten better or worse. The cause of everything, Max and Jason, were going to jail. They hadn’t done anything to Liam to reinforce their threats. But even so, with everything exposed, Liam hadn’t jumped at the chance to take him back. And that made him broken.

 

That stark realization gave him the sudden urge to do whatever there was in power to fix his own errors. He had fallen prey to Max’s threats and let him win. He gave Max every satisfaction in the world by destroying Liam’s heart and his own life. There had been no benefit. Max had continued to harm Liam anyways. It was clear that Zayn making that deal hadn’t meant Max would keep his intentions honest. And Zayn was tired. Tired of crying, tired of feeling that wrenching pain in his chest every day, tired of living a lie, tired of having to pretend he hated the person he loved more than anything in this entire world. So he called Doniya and asked her to put aside her sisterly instincts and give him a lawyer’s advice. He wanted to finally punish Jason for everything he had done, and in turn punish Max.

 

Doniya, Harry and Louis had accompanied him to the police station earlier where he had formally filed a police report against Jason for the attempted sexual assault at the sorority house to which Harry and Louis were witnesses, to the assault behind Red to which Liam was a witness. He also reported the kidnapping which was tricky considering Max and Jason had alibis for then. But he had also decided to file for a restraining order. It would be a tedious process and there would be a court hearing, but he didn’t care. He was done staying quiet. He wanted them to pay for all the emotional and physical trauma they had put him through. Now he had the difficult task left, to tell his parents everything, and to talk to Liam and see where his head was at in terms of their relationship. For Zayn it was simple, he wanted to be back with Liam. And if the man would have him back, he wouldn’t waste another precious moment apart from him.

 

“Thanks, Haz. Remember to give your mom the Christmas present from me,” Zayn said as he settled back onto his bed.

 

“I will. Are you sure you don’t want to come home with me now? Gemma is driving all the way here to get me anyways,” Harry said. Louis had already left for New Jersey an hour ago and Gemma was now coming to pick up Harry. Zayn was supposed to have been gone home as well, in fact the dorm was a ghost town with almost everyone gone, but he needed to see Liam. He desperately needed to talk to the man and he would go home tomorrow. Liam seemed like he didn’t want to speak to him just yet but Zayn was burning with anxiety. He needed to see him.

 

“I’m okay Harry. Baba will come get me tomorrow,” Zayn replied. “I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

 

“Alright babe. Tell your mom that gift exchange is at our place for Christmas Eve this year,” Harry said as he pulled away to tug his bags through the door.

 

“Will do. See you Hazzle,” Zayn said with a wave.

 

“Bye boo.” Harry blew him a kiss and exited the room. Zayn sighed and fell back against his bed. He shivered and wrapped his blanket around himself. Their dorm room was always freezing. He stared longingly at all the things Liam had given him, that he had kept locked away in the box ever since the day at Liam’s office when he had refused to take them back. Zayn gingerly touched the Cartier bracelet again and sighed as his heart ached wondering if he would ever wear it again, accompanied by the key resting against Liam’s heart.

 

He grabbed his phone and called Ameera so he could figure out if Liam was okay, given that maybe it wasn’t the best time to be contacting the man directly, even if they had shared a tender moment this morning in his office.

 

“Hello?” Ameera answered as she picked up. Her voice sounded slightly frazzled.

“Hi,” Zayn replied. “Is this a bad time?”

 

“Zayn, sorry darling I didn’t even look at the caller ID. How are you?” Ameera asked more gently.

 

“I’m… not gonna lie… I’m not the best. How is Liam?” Zayn asked hesitantly.

 

“Liam. Liam is out of his fucking mind,” Ameera muttered.

 

“What do you mean?” Zayn asked as his heart thundered.

 

“Liam told us everything Zayn,” Ameera cautioned. “And he’s not in the best headspace right now. Apparently, Max met him this morning and now he’s going to confront him at this place Liam used to frequent which is like some illegal, discreet, copycat version of UFC or something. I don’t know. I don’t fucking know…”

 

“Oh my God,” Zayn breathed. “Why?”

 

“To put an end to this nonsense I guess. What he doesn’t get is how dangerous this is,” Ameera sighed.

 

“C-can you give me the address of this place?” Zayn asked quickly.

 

“Zayn, _no_. Absolutely not. I am not letting you go there,” Ameera said sternly.

 

“I have to go Ameera. And I will ask someone else if you don’t tell me,” Zayn warned.

 

“Fucking- fine. But I will come with you. Niall will already be there,” Ameera said. “I don’t even know what the fuck is happening. I’ll come pick you up. You will not be going there alone.”

“Okay. I’ll see you soon,” Zayn said and closed his phone. What the fuck was Liam about to do?

 

 

**

 

 

“This is it.”  


Zayn looked out the window as they pulled to a stop. They were somewhere in the Meatpacking District and had pulled up in front of a row of shops. Zayn watched as a man walked out of a small Greek supermarket with a bag of groceries and wondered how this ‘fight club’ or whatever the hell it was could be located here.

 

“Where?” Zayn asked. He looked towards Ameera and Niall who were sat in the front seat.

 

“Tony’s,” Niall gestured to a small men’s hair salon which had a neon blue sign reading ‘Tony’s’ above it. “It’s in the basement.”

 

Zayn gulped and nodded, a sudden fear washing over his body. As the other two exited the car, Zayn followed them. He tightened his jacket around his body against the chill and stopped beside Ameera in front of the door. She smiled softly at him and took his hand into her own. She squeezed his hand and kept it wrapped in her own.

 

“I don’t know why Liam feels he needs to do this, but if this is his way of putting an end to things then so be it. But we’re going to be here for him and make sure he doesn’t take it too far. Okay?” Ameera kissed his head and Zayn nodded at her.

 

“Ready?” Niall asked. When they nodded in reply, he knocked on the door in three sharp raps.

 

**

 

It wasn’t a very large room. It was the basement of Tony’s salon and the next-door tanning salon’s basement joined together. The basement was completely unfinished and washed in sharp fluorescent lights. There was a fighting ring sectioned off with ropes to enforce certain rules, but they were never followed. It smelt strongly of sweat and blood and people were already gathering around the room. The rules were simple. People came here to release anger and bottled up rage in a controlled method. No one knew anyone. Names were never shared. You simply went up against a stranger and fought until one person bowed out. Simple. No life-threatening moves were allowed. It was as fucked up as it sounded.

 

Liam knew why he had utilized this place when he was younger and nothing helped control his anger. He needed a physical release and this had been it. He also knew why he had stopped coming here. It did things to your psyche that caused more damage than good. He had begun to crave the fights like a drug and when Niall had finally intervened to make him leave and join rehab, he had done it before he lost control for good. Since then he had only returned twice. The night of his accident two months back when he had heard the tape from Zayn, and now. And this would be his last time. This would also be an end to the bullshit Max had started.

 

Liam stood near the corner of the room as he drank some water. He then took some white gauze and wrapped his knuckles with it. He glanced to the side where Tony was talking to some of the people waiting. Liam knew he was probably letting them know that there would be a delay. Liam had asked Tony to pause any fights until he and Max had been through. Tony hadn’t been happy about Liam bringing Max here but he had paid him a lot of money for all the trouble. If Max had always wanted to play dirty, then that is what he would get. Liam turned to take his shirt off and glanced at his phone. Max had five minutes to get here.

 

“Liam…”

 

Liam spun around and almost knocked over in shock when he came face to face with Zayn. The boy’s face was covered in anxiety and fear and he looked at Liam with wide eyes.

 

“Zayn?” Liam asked in shock. He looked behind him and saw Niall and Ameera approaching. They looked guilty and Liam felt anger bubble inside him. “Are you guys fucking kidding me? You brought Zayn here? Have you lost your mind?”

 

“Liam.” Zayn grabbed his arm and looked at him with pleading eyes, making Liam’s heart soften. “I asked to be brought here.”

 

“Why?” Liam asked as confusion swept through his body.

 

“I don’t know why you’re doing this. I don’t agree with whatever this is and frankly it doesn’t look safe or legal. But If this is something you need to do, to finally move past the bullshit we’ve been through and put an end to Max, then I want to be here for you. Even if you don’t want me,” Zayn said in a low voice. Liam sighed and took Zayn’s hand to squeeze it gently before placing a kiss on his knuckles. Zayn’s eyes softened and he smiled lightly at Liam.

 

“I’d prefer if you didn’t see this but now that you’re here… I do appreciate it. Just stay near Niall and Ameera. The people in here are all kinds of fucked up. Some may actually be criminals. And they come here drunk out of their minds half the time. So don’t get near anyone,” Liam told him. Zayn nodded and stepped closer hesitantly. He seemed to be examining Liam carefully before he leaned up and pressed a kiss to Liam’s cheek.

 

“Be careful,” Zayn whispered.

 

“I will,” Liam murmured back to him. He glanced towards the door and saw Max coming in, followed by two other men. One of them Liam recognized as the guy who had been stalking Zayn outside his dorm in the SUV. Max walked over to him directly and Liam noticed that his jaw was set tight.

 

“What the fuck is this Payne? Is this some joke?” Max asked and waved around at the room.

 

Liam felt Zayn stiffen beside him and he gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before he stepped closer to Max. “This,” Liam started and waved leisurely at the room, “is exactly what you’ve wanted this whole time. You wanted to play dirty right? You tried to make a deal with Zayn and even when he upheld his promise you didn’t? You continued to do whatever you wanted? Well this is exactly that. You started this game, and now this is how we’ll finish it.”

 

“I knew you couldn’t keep your mouth shut, you weak bitch,” Max spat towards Zayn.

 

“Shut the fuck up!” Liam pushed Max so harshly that he stumbled to the ground. Everyone in the room had gone silent and was watching them. The crowd anticipating what they had come to see, a fight. “Don’t look at him. Don’t talk to him. Don’t even breathe near him. Did you think this would work? Even if I had never found out about the threats you made towards Zayn, I would have still done everything I did to you. Because you deserve it. Do you remember that night on my parent’s yacht? I told you not to start with me because you had no idea what I was capable of. Well you made the mistake of trying anyways. You’re going to rot in prison and lose your business regardless, but this is for me and you. You think you’re such a man for playing dirty and preying on innocent people and fucking up their lives? That makes you nothing but a coward. You want to prove this so-called strength to me then go up against me in that ring.”

 

“What makes you think I’ll do anything you want me to do?” Max said.

 

“Because we’re going to end this tonight. Right here. Me and you. If you can beat me, I’ll take away the charges we laid against you for the fire you caused at my casino. That’ll be one charge less against you, frankly I can’t do anything about the embezzlement or sex club charges. I also can’t do anything for your brother and the charges Zayn filed against him for assault because that’s his right and his decision to make and I can’t take that away from him. But if I beat you, you’re going to walk out of here with your tail between your legs, and never show me your face again otherwise when you do get out of prison I will make your life a living hell. You won’t have a cent left to your name, forget about your dignity. And if you didn’t know this already, I made an offer to buy out your hotels as they shut down. If you win, I’ll return them to you.”

 

“How do I know you’re not just fucking with me?” Max asked, his nostrils flaring.

 

Liam handed him some paperwork. “I drew up some papers with my lawyer. To give you back the hotels if you win. And to drop the charges for the fire.”

 

“You do realize that I don’t have to keep my word right?” Max said.

 

“You will. Because you’re going to sign right here to agree to it. And I’ve already filed for a restraining order so you can’t come near me by miles once we’re done, or any business I own,” Liam told him. He watched as Max’s face flickered between fear, disbelief and anger. But the other man’s ridiculous amount of ego won over once again and he nodded. He knew this was probably his only shot to save his last shred of dignity and try to keep his last bit of money. 

 

Max scribbled his signature across the papers and Liam handed them off to Ameera. People were already shouting, desperate to see a fight and Liam started to walk towards the ring before he turned back around. Zayn was standing between Ameera and Niall who both had arms around him in some sort of protective stance. Zayn looked a little pale. Liam walked up to him and nudged his chin up with a finger.

 

“Are you okay?” Liam asked. Zayn nodded wordlessly and Liam bent forward to kiss his forehead. “We need to talk when this is all over.” Zayn nodded again with a tight smile and Liam looked at him for another beat before walking to the ring.

Max was arguing with one of the guys he came with and he waved him off with a glare before turning to Liam. They both stood opposite each other as Tony reminded them of the basic rules. When he was done, he nodded at them both. Liam stared at Max for a second and remembered every single thing the other vile human had done. From the day they had met. Everything he had done in college, everything he had done recently to him and Zayn. Especially Zayn. That was all Liam needed for his blood to heat up.

 

“Where’s all that wrongly placed ego and confidence now Max?” Liam asked. That spurred the other man to spring forward to swing a punch at Liam. Liam blocked it easily and rammed his fist into Max’s stomach. The latter fell to the ground with a curse. Liam waited a second for him to get up and when Max did, all Liam could think of was Zayn’s tears and he swung hard to punch Max right in his face.

 

“You’re going to regret ever fucking with me,” Liam bent down and said to him. He kicked Max in the abdomen which made him double over. Liam waited for him to get up again and when Max ran towards him, Liam pinned him to the ground to ram a fist into his face again. Liam was about to move back and give Max a second to get up again when he heard a terrified scream from behind him.

 

“Liam he has a knife!” Instinct had him turn back towards Zayn who had screamed and shouted those words. Liam only had a second to register the God-awful fear on Zayn’s pale face as Niall pulled the boy back. The words made sense a second too late when he felt a sharp pain in his side.

 

“No!” Zayn screamed again and Liam felt a little dizzy as he fell to the side. A second later people were pulling Max back and shouting at him. He had violated the rules. Weapons were not allowed.

 

“Get him out of here!” Tony was shouting and cursing rapidly in Italian. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

 

“No,” Liam said and sat up. He touched his side and felt some blood ooze onto his hand. It was a shallow wound and he knew there was no serious damage. He looked over and noticed a pocket knife in Max’s hand who looked a little smug. There was no way Liam would stop now and give him that satisfaction. “We’re not done yet,” Liam said.

 

“Liam!” Niall shouted in frustration. “You’re done!”

 

“No. I said I’m not,” Liam said and motioned Max forward. Everyone in the room was looking at him in silent shock as Liam stood up. He motioned for Tony to hand him some bandages and he quickly did up his wound. Liam turned towards Zayn whose face was covered in tears as he shook in Niall’s arms, who held him tightly so Zayn wouldn’t run forward. Liam gave him a reassuring nod, then turned back to the ring.

 

Max walked forward with a raised brow. “Your own funeral Payne. I think I have a pretty good idea that whatever happens here can’t get reported to the police anyways so if you’re going to fuck my life over, I may as well do whatever I can.”

 

“By playing dirty? Why not.” Liam gave Max no chance to react and threw him against the brick wall. Max looked stunned as he fell down. He touched his head lightly, probably suffering a slight concussion, and stood up shakily.

 

Max stumbled as he tried to come close to Liam. He swung a punch but Liam threw him down and kicked him a few times. Max yanked him down by his leg and Liam fell. Before Max could punch his face, Liam rolled over and stood up. He threw Max against a table which broke in half. People were shouting again, a crowd of lifeless people who enjoyed such bloodshed. Max tried to hit him back but the adrenaline rush in Liam’s body propelled him to keep hitting Max. They went on for a while until they were both significantly covered in sweat and blood and Liam felt like the slight stab wound was affecting him. Max seemed to notice and he grabbed a piece of broken wood to hit Liam on the head with it. Liam heard another scream behind him as he fell to his knees.

 

“You can’t win this Payne. Just give up now and walk away with a little bit of dignity, as you say, and maybe I won’t end up killing you and possibly your precious boyfriend-”

 

Liam moved quickly and threw Max to the ground on his stomach. He wrenched his arm behind his back so quickly he heard a popping sound and Max screamed in agony. His arm was contorted as it had broken from the movement. He thrashed under Liam but Liam kept him pressed down.

 

“It’s funny that you still keep acting like you have the upper hand here Max. Maybe give up and you won’t end up dead yourself.” Liam wrenched his arm back again and Max yelled even more loudly in pain. He tried to push Liam off but Liam twisted his arm again.

 

Max seemed to stop moving suddenly and he was just breathing heavily. His face was covered in blood and sweat and Liam could see tears leaking from his eyes. Liam wasn’t sure how far Max’s need to win would take him. He seemed to be slipping into unconsciousness. Then Max’s eyes blinked open and he stared emptily across the ground from himself. He closed his eyes tightly and tapped the ground three times beside himself, a sign of defeat. His body sank completely to the ground then. Liam slipped off him immediately and backed away.

 

“Don’t show me your face ever again Max. And it would be best if you don’t show your face in this city. I have your signatures to prove what you agreed to. Not get the fuck out of here.” Liam motioned to Max’s friends to help him up. They did so silently and when Max got up he looked at Liam with so much disdain, but there was defeat in his eyes. He knew that he had officially lost everything.

 

“You brought this on yourself Max. Don’t forget that,” Liam said. “If you had stayed away from the beginning, none of this would have happened to you. Now you can live with your regrets. And don’t forget your own words, karma is real. C’est la vie.”

 

Max stumbled away towards the stairs as his friends supported him. Liam leaned back against the wall as Tony handed him a towel. Liam barely had a chance to thank him before a body barrelled into him. Liam opened his eyes and looked down to see a head of raven coloured hair against his chest. Liam brought his arms up to hug Zayn and winced a little in pain

 

“Are you okay?” Zayn asked tearfully. He moved back immediately and ran his hands all over Liam’s body to inspect him. “I can’t believe you carried on even after he stabbed you. He’s a sick fuck.”

 

“I’m okay,” Liam said and sank onto a chair to catch his breath. He could see people arguing about their bets over Liam and Max’s fight and Tony already organising the next fight. Zayn kneeled on the ground in front of him and took his hands, just as Ameera and Niall came over.

 

“You need to go to a hospital,” Zayn said quietly and touched Liam’s side.

 

“Zayn’s right Liam. Usually it’s okay because you suffer minor scrapes but this time Max actually stabbed you. You need that checked and treated,” Niall said sternly.

 

“Guys-”

 

“If you don’t want to go to a hospital then let’s go to Maria’s clinic. She can take a look at it,” Ameera offered.

 

“Fine,” Liam said as he looked down at the bandages that were darkening by the second. He looked at Zayn who was still crying and staring at Liam. Liam cupped his face and wiped away his tears with his thumbs.

 

“It’s over Zayn. Please don’t cry,” Liam murmured.

 

“You could have gotten seriously hurt. You _are_ seriously hurt. I can’t believe you Liam,” Zayn said shakily.

 

“it had to be done,” Liam said. “Max wouldn’t have quit either way. Even by going to jail.”

 

“If something had happened to you… I… I…” Zayn trailed off and dropped his head to Liam’s knee. Liam kissed the top of his head and took his hand to help him up.

 

“I’m fine Zayn,” Liam murmured and hugged him again. “I will always be fine. You don’t need to worry.”

 

Zayn nodded and they exited the room to get into their cars. They all got into Niall’s car who drove them straight to Liam’s friend Maria’s clinic as Ameera called her up and asked her to come over to her clinic. When they got there, Maria was already waiting, dressed casually. She was a Gynaecologist and had a small clinic tucked between a flower shop and a bakery with apartments above it. When Liam entered, she gave him a grim look and shook her head. Liam gave her a side hug which she returned with a sigh.

 

She took him into her examination room and motioned for Liam to sit on the table. Liam sat down and took off his shirt. Maria peeled away the bandages and sighed when she looked at the wound. “You should be glad this isn’t deep Liam. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

 

“A lot of things,” Liam said sarcastically. Maria rolled her eyes and began cleaning it up. She gave him two stitches to close the wound and bandaged it up. Then she proceeded to clean the rest of his cuts and bandaged them up. Liam finished up with bandages on his knuckles and one bandage on his forehead. He still had bruises which were quite obvious and Maria gave him a couple painkillers.

 

“Don’t ask don’t tell right?” Maria asked with crossed arms.

 

“Mhm,” Liam hummed and finished his water. “I appreciate this. I love you and I’m sorry for waking you up and bringing you out here.”

 

“I wasn’t asleep. Me and Nadz were wrapping last minute Christmas gifts. This I didn’t expect to be summoned for. What have you been up to?” Maria asked.

 

“Let’s just say someone who has been causing me grief, and Zayn grief, will no longer come near me again. Some people only respond to violence,” Liam said.

 

“Good God Liam,” Maria sighed and rubbed her head.

 

“Relax Maria. It’s done. Never again okay?” Liam said and got up to hug her. She hugged him back and patted his back before they went back into the waiting room where Niall was pacing the floor while texting and Zayn sat with his head against Ameera’s shoulder.

 

“One idiot, all bandaged up and ready to go,” Maria announced as they walked in.

 

“Idiot indeed,” Ameera said with a shake of her head.

 

“Are we done judging me?” Liam asked. “I’d like to go home. Got the paperwork Meemz?’

 

“Yeah. Jeff will get these first thing tomorrow,” Ameera said as she stood up.

 

“Good. Thanks again Maria,” Liam said and hugged her.

 

“No problem. Be sure to send me three Christmas gifts this time,” she said with a smile.

 

“I’ll send you five,” Liam replied and kissed her head. They all said their goodbyes and Maria locked up her clinic to drive away as the other four got into Niall’s car again.

 

“Home?” Niall asked him and Liam nodded. “What about you Zayn?” Niall asked.

 

“I uh… my dorm I guess,” Zayn said quietly.

 

“It’s late. Just sleep at my place. Hasn’t most of your dorm emptied by now?” Liam said.

 

“Yes. I’m supposed to go home for the holidays tomorrow. I won’t be back until classes begin in January,” Zayn said.

 

“Okay. Well you shouldn’t go back to an empty dorm yet. Stay at my place and you can go home tomorrow,” Liam said and looked at him the rear-view mirror. Zayn nodded at him and stared down at his hands. Ameera shot Liam a look and tucked Zayn closer to herself.

 

**

 

Zayn watched as Liam walked into his bedroom, pulling off his shirt as he walked in. Zayn paused outside the door as his heart urged him to follow Liam but his feet wouldn’t follow. He didn’t know if Liam wanted him back or not. Zayn ached to just exist in the warmth of his arms again. Now that Max was gone and there were no secrets looming between them anymore, Zayn realized just how much he wanted, no needed, to be with Liam again. He had missed him so desperately that he felt it in his bones. They ached for Liam. And now he couldn’t say for sure if the man wanted him or not.

 

Zayn walked into the room Liam had built for him and sat onto the sofa. He stared across the room at a painting he had left half complete from back when they had been together. It was of two people kissing in the rain, their silhouettes blurred by the water as if they were a part of the rain itself. Zayn kneeled in front of it and stared at it for a few seconds as tears fell from his eyes. How he ached to be back in Paris, kissing in the rain, when it was much simpler. He took off his jacket and shoes and then dropped his pants as he got ready to sleep on the sofa in this room. He was standing in his NYU jumper, briefs and socks when something tugged in his heart and he turned to the door.

 

He walked over to Liam’s room and paused outside the dark room. The door was halfway open and the lights were off. Zayn pushed it open gently and padded in. He saw Liam sat up in bed as he typed away on his phone. Liam looked up when the door opened and gave Zayn a quizzical look.

 

“Zayn?” Liam asked curiously.

 

“Liam,” Zayn barely choked out and quickly walked over to the bed. He climbed on top and straddled Liam before pressing his own lips to the man’s in desperation. Liam grabbed onto his hips gently and ran his hands up the back of Zayn’s jumper. Zayn shivered in relief as Liam’s warm hands rubbed his cold skin.

 

“Zayn…” Liam murmured. Zayn kissed down his face and pressed kisses along Liam’s neck. The man held him for a few seconds as Zayn kissed everywhere his lips could reach.

 

“Zayn… slow down…” Liam said again gently. “We still haven’t talked. This isn’t the time.”

 

Zayn felt like someone had pierced his heart with a knife. He sagged against Liam and kept his arms wrapped around the man’s neck and his face pressed into his chest. Liam rubbed his back soothingly for a few moments. Zayn could feel his heart thundering against Liam’s chest and he closed his eyes to relish the moment in case this was all he got.

 

“I miss you so much. I love you,” Zayn whispered tearfully into Liam’s chest.

 

“I do too,” Liam replied softly.

 

“Then why don’t you want to be with me anymore?” Zayn asked through tears.

 

“I never said that,” Liam said and pulled Zayn back to look at him. “I do want to be with you. Sometimes I feel like I need you more than I need air in my lungs. You’re my everything.”

 

“But,” Zayn said sadly, sensing those very words.

 

“But we can’t ignore everything we went through. Max is away for good, at least I hope, but we should take some time to think this over. Build back trust,” Liam said.

 

“I do trust you. This was never about not trusting you,” Zayn said quietly. He looked up at Liam and brushed a hand across his bearded cheek. “This was about doing everything in my power to keep you safe.”  


“And now I’m thinking about keeping you safe. Maybe your safety is away from me,” Liam said with a sigh.

 

“You can’t do that,” Zayn stuttered as thick tears fell from his eyes. “Don’t put me through the same pain Max put me through by separating us. I won’t survive it again.”

 

“Baby,” Liam sighed and hugged Zayn tightly. He turned him over to lie down on the bed and pulled Zayn into his chest again. Zayn shivered and Liam draped the comforter over him as well. Zayn sighed into Liam’s chest and breathed in his comforting scent from the t-shirt he wore. Liam kissed his head and held him close in silence.

 

“What are you thinking?” Zayn asked quietly.

 

“I’m thinking that I love you and I wish things didn’t have to be so damn difficult,” Liam murmured.

 

“But that’s the thing, isn’t it? Love is difficult but we shouldn’t give up. We should keep trying. Relationships can be hard work but working together and fighting the odds together is better than creating so much distance. I wish I had known this a few months ago before I made my decision,” Zayn said softly.

 

“You couldn’t have seen into the future,” Liam reassured him.

 

“Do you… do you still not believe that I love you?” Zayn could hear the fear in his own voice and he dreaded Liam’s answer.

 

“I know you love me Zayn. But I’m human too. And it can be hard to understand the monumental decision you made without even talking to me. And not to mention how I know that you lived through hell because of me,” Liam sighed.

 

Zayn stayed silent because he knew that reassurances would not work on Liam right now. He sounded troubled and Zayn felt awful inside. Liam was still hurt by his decision and Zayn couldn’t fathom why Liam kept blaming himself.

 

“Will we work this out?” Zayn sniffed and reached a hand up to rub away his tears.

“I hope we do,” Liam whispered and kissed his forehead. “You’ll be going home tomorrow and on Friday I’m leaving for Aspen with my family. I probably won’t see you for a week or two so don’t keep worrying yourself Zayn. Maybe this time apart will be good for us to think. Find our way back.”

 

“I’ll show you how much I love you,” Zayn told him quietly.

 

“I know you love me baby,” Liam replied and pressed gentle kiss to his forehead.

 

“I know. But I’ll prove it to you. You always make these grand gestures to show me how much you love me and now it’s my turn. I’ll win your heart over,” Zayn said.

 

“My heart is already yours. Always has been. That’s not something you need to worry about,” Liam assured him and tucked his face into Zayn’s hair.

 

Zayn stayed silent for a few seconds as exhaustion swept over his body. He kept his face pressed to Liam’s chest and took calming breaths. Clearer than he had in months. “You know what I missed the most?” Zayn asked quietly.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Your scent,” Zayn whispered. Liam smiled a little and pressed a kiss to his head before he rubbed Zayn’s back to get his attention.

 

“Zayn… can I ask how you finally decided to go to the police? I found out that you pressed charges but it’s been a surprise because up until recently I thought you didn’t want to,” Liam said.

 

“I was tired of everything,” Zayn told him quietly. “I was tired of letting them have power over me. They thought I was weak and I would never go to the police. They thought I would do everything they asked me to do. I lost you and might never get to be with you again but at least I could take back some of my power and my rights by punishing them for what they’ve done. It may go nowhere but at least I took the step.”

 

“You’re not weak. You never have been. Even agreeing to Max’s plan and sacrificing your love and happiness took a lot of courage. And can I just tell you how proud I am? Even if you never went to the police, I would have supported your decision because it is only yours to make, and God only knows what you’ve been through. But now that you have gone to the police I will continue to support you. I’m here for you no matter what. I have given my statement regarding what I saw behind Red. And If you need me at the court hearing for the restraining order, I’ll be there. I will _always_ be here for you Zayn no matter what our relationship,” Liam assured him.

 

“Thank you,” Zayn said in a hushed voice.

 

“No need to thank me,” Liam replied.

 

“I’ve missed you,” Zayn murmured as he started to doze off into sleep. He heard Liam reply with a ‘me too,’ and he held on tighter to the man in case this was the last time ever.

 

 

**

 

 

“All good beta?”  


Zayn nodded at his dad as he settled into the passenger seat with his backpack in his lap. The rest of this luggage was tucked into the back seat and he was set to drive home. His heart felt heavy because this morning he had woken up to an empty bed as Liam had already left for work. He had written a note telling Zayn that he would call him. Zayn had gone back to his dorm feeling dejected and packed up his stuff as he waited for his dad to come get him.

 

“All good Baba,” Zayn said. Yaser leaned over and kissed his head before running a hand through Zayn’s thick hair.

 

“I believe we have a lot to talk about,” Yaser said with a knowing look. Zayn nodded, knowing that Doniya must have already clued them in on what had been happening, given that she had helped Zayn file the police reports.

 

“I’ve been lying to you guys. Lying to everyone about a lot of things. I promise I’ll tell you everything now,” Zayn said.

 

Yaser nodded and squeezed his knee before he pulled into traffic to start the drive back to Brooklyn. “Are you okay though?”

 

Zayn shrugged and tried to force a smile onto his face but his demeanour cracked and he burst into tears. Yaser looked at him in shock but wrapped an arm around Zayn so he could cry into his shoulder as Yaser continued to drive. Zayn cried his heart out and his dad let him in complete silence until he had no tears left. Then he pressed his head against the window pane and stared out in silence wondering if his broken heart, which had been treated so cruelly, would ever get mended and put back together.

 

 

**

 

“Look what I got you Bhaiya!”

 

Zayn set down his book and peeked between his drawn-up knees to see Safaa standing in his bedroom door, bouncing with excitement. Zayn smiled at her and motioned her forward. Safaa ran forward and jumped onto the bed. She pulled a bundle of red wool from behind her back and Zayn started laughing when he realized what it was. It was an ugly Christmas sweater with multiple pom-poms all over it and a Santa on the front that seemed to be stuffing his face with cookies.

 

“Did you buy me my ugly Christmas sweater this year?” Zayn asked as he kissed her head.

 

“Me and Mama went to the mall and I picked yours out,” she said proudly.

 

“Wow buttercup. It’s awesome,” Zayn said with a grin. His family didn’t exactly celebrate Christmas traditionally but every Christmas Eve they got together with Harry’s family where they all wore ugly sweaters and had dinner, alternating between both houses every year. They all exchanged gifts and then on Christmas day his mom would make a nice meal and they would spend all day watching movies and relaxing together.

 

“Thank you Saf,” Zayn said and hugged her. He pulled the sweater on over his head and grinned at Safaa.

 

“You’re welcome Bhaiya. I got you a gift too. You’ll love it,” she said with a smile.

 

“You’ll love what I got you as well,” Zayn replied with a secretive wink.

 

“Do you want to watch Elf with me?” Safaa asked hopefully. “And maybe bake reindeer cookies?” Safaa was referring to the reindeer cookie cutter they used every year to bake a box of cookies they took over to the Style household.

 

“Sure Saf. Let’s go.” Zayn took her hand and they went downstairs to the kitchen. They pulled out all the ingredients they needed to bake and started off with making the dough. Safaa put on Christmas music and grinned at Zayn as he groaned jokingly. She started to dance along to and sing ‘All I Want For Christmas’ and Zayn couldn’t help but join in.

 

He started to Snapchat Safaa as she danced around with flour all over her face. He then pulled her in so they could both take a goofy picture together with flour covered faces and he posted it to his story. He got a reply from Louis after a minute saying ‘I miss your sexy face.’ He smiled and started to reply to Louis when he got another reply. From Liam. Zayn’s heart beat faster and he clicked on it with shaky hands. He hadn’t heard from Liam in two days since he had slept over. He’d been too nervous to contact the man himself.

 

**From Liam: I don’t know who’s cuter. You or Saf.**

 

Zayn flushed and closed his phone to take a deep breath as he thought of what to say back. He wanted to tread carefully here so he could continue a conversation.

 

**To Liam: Saf obviously :)**

Zayn held his breath and turned back to shaping cookies with his reindeer cutter. A reply pinged in after a minute. Zayn snatched up his phone and broke into a smile.

 

**From Liam: Debatable. I’m biased for obvious reasons.**

 

Zayn bit his lip and tried hard not to smile as he typed back a quick reply.

 

**To Liam: What reasons?**

Liam replied almost instantly once again.

 

**From Liam: Go look in the mirror.**

Zayn flushed again and hid his smile in his sleeve. He quickly sent Liam a reply asking him what he was up to before turning back to Safaa. She was staring at him with her arms crossed and her eyebrows raised.

 

“What?” Zayn asked.

 

“Are you flirting with someone?” She asked.

 

“What?” Zayn spluttered. “No! And where did you learn about flirting?”

 

“My friend Josie told me. She said older people flirt with people they want to kiss and sometimes they do it by texting and they get all red like you are,” Safaa said with a shrug. “I hope it’s Liam. He makes you smile and you’ve been sad for too long.”

 

Zayn stared at her, dumbfounded. The reality of Safaa’s words cut into him deep. Truly, he had been in a dark pit for so long and even small exchanges with Liam made him so happy. His happiness was tied to Liam. The other half of his soul. How could he consider letting that happiness go? How could he be without Liam for even another day? As his phone pinged again, Zayn looked down at it to see that Liam had responded with a video. Zayn clicked on the ten second clip to see that Liam was at CeCe’s and there was a performance on stage. At the end of the video Liam turned the camera to himself, where he was sprawled on the velvet seat, and he smiled.

 

He had told Liam that he would win him over and prove his love. And though his anxious heart told him to wait and see what Liam decided. His brain told him to be brave and take a step. Make a bold gesture. Show Liam that he wouldn’t back away again. He believed in them, their love and their relationship. And he wanted it all back. He wanted Liam back.

 

“Saf, I know I said we would bake cookies but-“

 

“You can go,” Safaa cut him off.

 

“What?” Zayn asked in surprise.

 

“I know you were probably talking to Liam and you want to go see him. You can go,” Safaa said with a smile.  Zayn grinned at her and pulled her in to kiss her cheek.

 

“You’re a little smart-ass aren’t you?” Zayn asked.

 

“Mama says you can’t say ass,” Safaa scolded him.

 

“What Mama doesn’t know can’t hurt her,” Zayn said with a wink.

 

“What doesn’t Mama know?” Tricia said as she walked into the kitchen.

 

“Ummm… that I have to go into the city. To see Liam,” Zayn said slowly.

 

Tricia looked at him in surprise and Zayn gave her a hopeful smile. After he had revealed the entire truth to his parents last night they had been awestruck at what Zayn had been through. They had held him as he cried and wondered if things would ever be right again. His mom reassured him that true love always finds its way back. And that two halves of one soul can never stay apart for too long. They always come back to each other to become whole again. But his parents had also warned him that Liam might take some time to recover. His mom probably hadn’t been expecting Zayn to go off so quickly again.

 

“Jaan… are you sure you should be going over there so late?” Tricia asked gently.

 

“I need to Maa. It’s my turn to prove to Liam how much I love him. It’s my turn to win over his heart,” Zayn said.

 

“Okay but it’s raining outside honey. Maybe tomorrow?” Tricia said.

 

“Now Maa,” Zayn said and went off to go put on his shoes.

 

“Wait! If you’re going to be stubborn at least take an umbrella,” Tricia shouted after him.

 

Zayn pulled on his jacket and shoes, then grabbed an umbrella from the coat closet and turned to the door. “Bye Maa! Bye Saf!” Zayn ran out the door as they shouted their goodbye after him. He hoped Liam wouldn’t leave the club just yet. He made his way to the subway as quickly as he could and barely jumped on one just about to close its doors. He sat down with a thundering heart and clenched his umbrella in his hands. Liam would know how much he loved him. Liam would see how much he loved him.

 

**

 

Zayn arrived outside the bar and felt a little out of place in his drenched jacket and umbrella as people climbed out of fancy cars in suits and dresses to walk into the bar. He walked up to the security guard and said a prayer, hoping that his old credentials worked.

 

“Hi… I uh… it’s Zayn Malik. Liam Payne put me on the list a while back?” Zayn said with a gulp.

 

The bulky security guard looked him up and down with a raised brow. “ID?”

 

Zayn fished out his wallet and pulled out his ID to prove his name to the man. He looked through a tablet he was holding and nodded at Zayn to let him through. Zayn breathed a sigh of relief and walked in. He was quite familiar with the layout of the bar but still felt nervous, not having been here for so long. He left his jacket and umbrella at the coat check station and then wandered into the club. The lights were quite low and there was a performance currently happening on stage. Zayn stood in the back awkwardly for a few seconds before he slipped closer to the bar to try and spot Liam. He stood on his toes and looked towards the front booths where Liam and his friends usually sat. Sure enough, Zayn spotted Niall, Tom, Miguel, Luke, Josh and Liam. And to make things worse, there was a girl sat beside Liam and they seemed immersed in conversation. She was dressed in lingerie which was odd… unless if she was a dancer. Zayn recognized her. Bella Dubois. The gorgeous burlesque dancer who Liam had shortly dated.

 

“Fuck…” Zayn muttered. What was he thinking? What was his game plan? Walk up to Liam and announce his love? In front of all his friends and that girl? In a public setting? No. He had to leave. Zayn turned to leave the same way he had entered, when he bumped into someone.

 

“Excuse- Zayn?” Zayn looked up and noticed that he had bumped into Ameera. “Sweetie, what are you doing here?” She asked.

 

“I- I… Nothing. I’m leaving. Don’t tell Liam I came.” Zayn turned to hurry out the door but Ameera grabbed his hand and yanked him back.

 

“I don’t think so. You came all the way from Brooklyn for some reason. Probably too see Liam right? Well you can’t leave until you do just that. And it’s raining out. We’ll drop you home in a bit. Come.” She tugged him to the front and Zayn protested in horror. But Ameera gave him a glare and continued to pull him.

 

“Cute sweater by the way,” Ameera said with a smile.

 

Fuck. Zayn wanted to drown. As if showing up here like some stalker wasn’t enough, he was wearing a hideously embarrassing Christmas sweater. Fuck everything.

 

“Christmas came early,” Ameera announced as they arrived in front of the booth.

 

Liam looked up mid-laugh from something Bella had been saying to him and he paused when he saw Zayn. Zayn almost shrunk behind Ameera. He realized the other boys were all looking at him too and he wasn’t sure if they knew the truth yet or not but he wanted to disappear at the sheer awkwardness.

 

“That sweater is adorable!” Bella cooed. Zayn wasn’t sure if she was being genuinely nice or fake to fuck with his mind.

 

“Thank you,” Zayn said, turning red. He looked at Liam who was smiling at him. Liam motioned Zayn forward and patted the spot beside himself. Zayn smiled lightly and shuffled forward slowly to sit on the edge of the spot beside Liam.

 

“Is it true that when you’re thinking of someone they appear before your eyes?” Liam murmured into his ear. When Zayn flushed, Liam kissed his temple quickly then leaned back in his seat.

 

“I guess I’m up soon so I better get going. See you Liam.” Bella kissed Liam’s cheek and got up to walk away. Zayn stared steadfastly at the stage, still unsure of what to say or do, unsure of why he had come all the way here. He felt a squeeze on his upper arm and he turned to see Liam looking at him. Zayn smiled nervously and leaned back against the seat.

 

“What are you doing here? Weren’t you at home?” Liam asked.

 

“I know. I had this sudden urge to see you,” Zayn mumbled. Liam’s eyes softened and he looked at him fondly. He swept the backs of his fingers under Zayn’s chin.

 

“Zayn –”

 

“I know what you’re going to say Liam. And I understand. You need your time. And that’s okay. In the meantime, I’ll be doing everything possible to convince you of my love. To show you my love,” Zayn said.

 

“And how will you do that?” Liam asked with a smile.

 

“Many ways. You know my Maa says when two people truly love each other, they’re two halves of one soul. And no matter what, they always find their way back to each other. Because they complete each other. They uplift each other. They make one soul in two bodies. They breathe life into each other. And I know we’ll find our way back too,” Zayn said. Liam had been watching him so intensely and even in the low-lit room, Zayn could see his eyes sparkle. Zayn cleared his throat and looked down at his clenched fist.

 

“Your words are a compelling thing sweetheart. It’s almost a religious experience hearing you speak and with every fibre in my being I can say that I believe everything you say,” Liam murmured.

 

“But do you really?” Zayn asked shakily.

 

“Of course I do,” Liam said and cupped his face. “You know I do.”

 

Zayn nodded and gave Liam a watery smile. He picked up Liam’s hand and kissed it. “Then I pray that one day you trust in them too.” Liam gave him an almost heart-breaking look and Zayn had to look away before he burst into tears again.

“I know you will soon enough,” Zayn whispered. “I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Zayn looked to the side and saw Niall watching him. When they locked eyes, Niall gave him an encouraging smile. Zayn smiled back nervously and twisted his hands in his lap. He felt a hand rubbing his back and he turned slightly to see that Liam was doing it absently as he talked to Luke on his right. Zayn almost smiled as something warm spilled in his stomach.

 

Zayn looked to the stage and something sparked in his gut suddenly. He looked at Liam, he felt the urge he had in his heart to spill his love, and he saw an opportunity. Truthfully, he was ready to puke with anxiety but he made his decision quickly before his heart could talk him out of it and he stood up. Liam looked at him curiously but Zayn signalled towards the bathroom and ran off. He could see Bella standing near the entrance to the backstage area as she talked to CeCe. Zayn gulped and ran up to them.

 

“Hello,” Zayn said slowly.

 

“Cute sweater guy,” Bella said with a smile. “What’s up?”

 

“Aren’t you Zayn? Liam’s boy?” CeCe asked.

 

“Sort of. Hoping I can be once again. I umm… I need your help,” Zayn said slowly.

 

“Sure,” CeCe said.

 

“Can I borrow your stage for a few minutes?” Zayn asked.

 

“Oooohh. Were you looking to dance?” Bella asked with a coy smile.

 

“Oh God no. Just umm… Just the stage and a mic. I need to show Liam how much I love him,” Zayn explained.

 

“You’re so cute,” Bella said with a grin. “Come with me. Cee we’ll get Tiffany and the girls to hold off for a few minutes.”

 

“Yeah no problem. Anything for Liam,” CeCe said with a wink.

 

Zayn smiled in thanks and followed Bella as she pulled him backstage. “I hope this isn’t weird, given your history with Liam,” Zayn said.

 

“Oh, honey don’t worry. Liam is so in love with you that nobody else stands a chance. Besides he’s my friend and anything to make him happy.” Bella threw him a wink and grinned. Zayn smiled at her and followed her through the halls that were bordered with dressing rooms where girls were getting ready and chatting with each other. They reached a door that seemed to be a back entrance to the stage.

 

“You good?” Bella asked him as he looked a little pale.

 

“No. But it’ll hopefully be worth it,” Zayn laughed shakily.

 

“You’ll be fine. Ignore everyone else and look straight at Liam. I know I do,” she chuckled. “Sorry. Little inappropriate. But honestly just black out the crowed and focus on one person. It helps. I’m right here. Are you going to give a speech or something?”

 

“Sing,” Zayn whispered. Bella grinned and patted his shoulder before she motioned one of the guys working the curtains towards Zayn. Zayn handed his phone over to her, opened on his music library. “Can you play this when I give you the cue?” Bella nodded and took it from him.

 

Zayn closed his eyes and took a deep breath, counting to ten in his hand. He was ready to vomit. He felt a tap on his shoulder and Bella whispered, ‘good luck’ before moving back. Zayn stepped onto the stage and waited for the curtain to lift. People were already clapping and some were whistling, awaiting a performance.

 

“Fuck fuck fuck.” Zayn muttered as the curtain lifted and he was left standing alone on the stage with a spotlight on him. The applause immediately died. The crowd stared at him in surprise, probably expecting gorgeous dancers and instead there was Zayn in a Christmas jumper. Zayn gulped and walked over to the mic to grip it in shaky hands.

 

“Umm… I apologize profusely because you were all probably expecting a group of talented and beautiful dancers to perform right now. Instead there’s average looking me up here who can in no way deliver a sexy performance like that,” Zayn laughed nervously.

 

“Yes you can you gorgeous fuck!” Niall shouted from his seat and Zayn blushed heavily. He looked at Liam for the first time since coming up here and the man was grinning but looking at Zayn in surprise.

 

“No, I can’t,” Zayn laughed lightly.

 

“Take it off pretty boy and dance for us!” Some guy called from his seat and his friends hooted.

 

Zayn flushed red and he noticed Liam lean forward in his seat and look towards the certain table with a glare like he was ready to get up and rip a bitch apart. Zayn cleared his throat quickly. “Another day Sir. Today I’m up here because I need to say something to someone who I love very much. Someone who I’ve hurt. Someone who I lost.” The room was silent and Zayn was well aware of every pair of eyes in the room trained on him. He took a shaky breath and looked at Liam who was looking at Zayn with something unreadable in his eyes.

 

“I did what I did because I love you so fucking much. You’re my entire world and when someone threatened to rip that world apart, I did what I had to do to keep you safe. I would die for you a thousand times over. I know you know that I love you. But I just need you to trust in that love and me again. You’re my everything jaan. I can’t live without you. I can’t breathe without you. And these past few months have been a testament to that as I felt like I was dying every day. You may take some time to come back to me and that’s okay. But I’ll always be here waiting because you’re my infinite. My future and beyond that too. You’re my other half and I won’t give that up again. I’ll fight for you, for us. Because I love you. And if words aren’t enough of a reminder, I hope this song is.” Zayn nodded at Bella behind the curtains and she signalled someone.

 

Zayn closed his eyes as the piano instrumental of ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love with You’ filled the air. Zayn could almost cry at how anxious he was but he gripped the mic in his hands more tightly and took a deep breath.

 

_“Wise men say… only fools rush in. But I can’t help falling in love with you.”_

Zayn looked up with teary eyes as he sang those words and locked his gaze with Liam who had a devastated smile on his face. The silence in the room was deafening as only the soft sounds of the piano echoed.

 

_“Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I can’t help falling in love with you.”_

Zayn could hear his voice shaking but he was proud of how clearly it rang across the room. That’s what he needed. To convey his love loudly and clearly for Liam so there wasn’t even the slightest hint of doubt left.

 

_“Like a river flows, surely to the sea. Darling so it goes, some things are meant to be. Take my hand, take my whole life too… for I can’t help falling in love with you.”_

 

Zayn’s tears rained down his face and onto the stage, thick enough to create a puddle. Liam’s face was all he could see and the tangle of heartbreak and love on it made Zayn’s bones feel weak. Like he might collapse. And he wished more than anything that Liam’s arms would be there to catch him.

 

_“Like a river flows, surely to the sea. Darling so it goes, some things are meant to be. Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can’t help falling in love with you. For I can’t help falling in love with you.”_

 

Zayn finished the song on a shaky breath, cautious of how his voice had been trembling uncontrollably as he sang the last apart of ‘take my hand, take my whole life too.’ He was wiping away his tears when thunderous applause ripped through the room, jolting him back to reality. Zayn looked around to see almost the entire room, on their feet, clapping for him. All of Liam’s friends were on their feet applauding him as well and Miguel was whistling. Ameera was crying and smiling proudly at him. Zayn smiled back tearfully and looked over at Liam who was still sitting. He looked utterly stunned and was just staring at Zayn.

 

Something pierced through his heart and he felt like he had just lost a battle. Zayn stared back at Liam, trembling from his exhilarating emotions. He wiped his tears and lifted the mic to his mouth. “Th-thank you. Merry Christmas.”

 

Zayn literally bolted from the stage. He could hear Niall yelling his name but he ran down the stairs and towards the nearest exit he could find. He grabbed his jacket and umbrella from the coat check and ran out the door into the pouring rain. He couldn’t tell the difference between his tears and the rain because the agony was mirrored. He tugged his jacket on as he ran down the street and struggled to open his umbrella. He was absolutely soaked within seconds. His umbrella finally opened and he lifted it above his head as he continued to walk down the street.

 

“So stupid. So fucking stupid,” Zayn muttered to himself tearfully. “Why didn’t I die before doing that. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care.”

 

“Who said I don’t care?”

 

Zayn spun around and lost all the air in his lungs. His oasis stood right before him and he almost collapsed to his knees. Liam hadn’t even bothered putting on a jacket or grabbing an umbrella. His white dress shirt was soaked and his sleeves were rolled to right above his elbows. His hair was soaked and as he pushed it back with one hand Zayn became breathless because he had never seen a person more beautiful.

 

“Liam,” Zayn murmured.

 

“You foolish, foolish boy. You beautiful, incredible boy. _My_ foolish, beautiful, incredible boy,” Liam murmured with a disbelieving smile on his face. Zayn stuttered on a shaky breath right as Liam ripped the umbrella from his hands and tossed it aside before pulling Zayn up into his arms and crashing his lips down onto Zayn’s.

 

Zayn actually cried out in desperate relief that bordered on disbelief because this had to be a dream. He wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck as the man devoured his lips. Zayn whimpered in happiness because _this_ felt like coming home after surviving a war to an inch of your life. Liam lifted him up and pushed him back against the wall of the high-rise building they were beside. Zayn opened his mouth and let Liam’s silky tongue glide in. He tasted of whisky, and mint and _Liam._ Love. He tasted of love and all that Zayn held dear in his life.

 

“You said you wanted to wait till you were ready. You said soon enough,” Zayn breathed shakily as Liam lavished kisses across his mouth.

 

“Soon is now my love,” Liam murmured with a smile and pressed kisses across his face.

 

“I love you so much,” Zayn cried and buried his face in Liam’s neck.

 

“I love you too. I love you more if that’s possible and it’s all because of how incredible you are. The way you sang up there convinced me that I was being fucking stupid. What was I waiting for? I love you and you love me. What benefit is there in staying apart? I can’t live another moment without you baby,” Liam whispered. He cupped Zayn’s face and stared into his eyes as he said the words. Zayn nodded with a smile and leaned forward to latch his lips to Liam’s again.

 

Liam grabbed Zayn’s thighs to wrap them around his body and Zayn pushed forward too eagerly which had them tumbling to the ground. Luckily, they fell on to grassy patch beside the building. Liam shielded his fall with his own body and Zayn fell on top of him with a gasp. They started laughing in surprise and Zayn pushed his soaking wet hair out of his eyes with a laugh and blinked down at Liam. He was looking at him with such sheer fond that Zayn felt himself blush. Liam turned him over and pressed him into the wet grass before kissing him again. Zayn felt his toes curl as Liam sucked on his tongue. Liam bit his lower lip and Zayn groaned before he realized where they were.

 

“Li-Liam… not here. Your place,” Zayn panted as desire began to rush through his body.

 

“You’re right,” Liam hummed but continued to kiss him like a starving man.

 

“Jaan!” Zayn gasped with a laugh and pushed him back a little.

 

“Okay. Let’s go.” Liam stood up and pulled him up too. Zayn fell into his arms and Liam kissed him again while pulling him into his body. Zayn smiled against his mouth and pushed him back a little before rushing back towards the sidewalk. Liam ran up to him and caught him by his waist before planting a kiss on his neck.

“Where’s your car?” Zayn asked breathlessly.

 

“My temporary driver dropped me off. He’ll take twenty minutes or more to get here,” Liam explained before he said, “cab.” Zayn had barely blinked and Liam had whistled to flag down a cab. One that was driving by slowed down immediately. Liam grabbed Zayn’s hand and tugged him into the backseat of the car. Zayn practically fell into his lap and giggled a little.

 

Liam rattled off his address and turned to kiss Zayn before he paused. “And there’s a hundred-dollar tip if you get us there in half the time.” The cab driver raised his eyebrows as if Liam was challenging him and Liam just grinned.

 

“Liam don’t be ridiculous,” Zayn whispered.

 

“You got it,” the cabbie said with a wink and shot off quickly.

 

“This is Manhattan, you won’t get there in half the time,” Zayn murmured.

 

“You’ll see,” Liam said with a smirk and pulled Zayn forward to kiss him again.

 

“You’re so silly,” Zayn whispered and melted into Liam’s arms. The sweater Zayn had on felt uncomfortable when it was this soaking wet and he couldn’t wait to rip it off so he could feel the warmth of Liam’s skin directly against his own. They had been so immersed in kissing, with Liam’s hand slowly palming him over his jeans, that Zayn felt like he had blinked and they were in front of Liam’s building. The cabbie was looking at them smugly and Zayn felt impressed. Liam grinned and pulled out his wallet to pay the cabbie the fare and what looked like way more than a hundred-dollar tip.

 

“Happy holidays,” the man said with a grin.

 

“You too!” Zayn had barely shouted before Liam was tugging him out of the cab by his hand. They rushed past the doorman who smiled at Zayn in surprise. Zayn got distracted by the gorgeous Christmas display in the lobby and didn’t realize the elevator had arrived.

 

“Baby! Come on,” Liam said with a laugh and pulled him into the elevator.

 

“It’s so beautiful,” Zayn said with a smile as Liam pressed him against the elevator wall to kiss him again.

 

“I know something even more beautiful,” Liam replied with a smile as he rubbed a thumb along Zayn’s bottom lip.

 

“You just like making me blush,” Zayn mumbled and dropped his head to Liam’s shoulder.

 

“Because you look so adorable when you do,” Liam chuckled and kissed his head. “My baby,” Liam murmured and Zayn felt himself melt into a puddle in Liam’s arms.

 

They arrived at Liam’s floor and Liam took his hand to walk to his door swiftly. He punched in the code so quickly that he messed up the first time and Zayn giggled. Liam bit his earlobe lightly before he entered it again and pushed the door open. They tumbled in through the door in a mess of kisses. As soon as the door was closed, Liam pulled Zayn up into his arms and Zayn almost squeaked in surprise. He wrapped his arms and legs around Liam to stabilize himself. Liam pressed him into the wall to kiss him breathless again, in the way Zayn had ached for. The kind he had missed. Zayn groaned and started to grind into Liam.

 

“I need to get these clothes off you,” Liam whispered. He pulled away from the wall and walked towards the stairs quickly. Zayn kissed and sucked along his neck as Liam walked them up. They went through his bedroom door and fell onto the bed in a heap.

 

Their mouths were attached barely a second later. Zayn opened his mouth so he could feel Liam’s tongue against his own again and taste him. Liam licked inside his mouth in a way that made Zayn whimper desperately.

 

“This is an incredible sweater but it needs to come off,” Liam said with a smile. Zayn laughed as Liam practically ripped the cloth from his body like it had offended him. Liam looked down at his body with such intensity that Zayn squirmed.

 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Zayn whispered.

 

“Because you’re beautiful. And I’ve missed you so fucking much,” Liam simply replied.

 

“I’ve missed you too... so... so much that I thought I could choke on it,” Zayn breathed as Liam began to kiss down his torso while rubbing his hands along his sides.

  
  
Liam sat back and unbuttoned his own shirt which was stuck to his body like liquid. Sheer by the water. Zayn swallowed heavily as Liam’s sculpted body came into view. All his blood was rushing south and he could barely breathe.

  
  
“Speaking of beautiful,” Zayn whispered.

  
  
Liam smiled and tossed his shirt aside before he leaned down to kiss Zayn again. Zayn sighed softly as Liam pressed tender kisses across his face. Liam pushed his hair off his forehead and kissed along there too.

  
  
“My baby, my angel, my heart, my life, my everything,” Liam whispered the words Zayn had only heard echoed in his dreams these past months. They had been words of a ghost life, long passed and lost. And now he had them back. In his palm. In his bloodstream. Touching his heart strings.

  
  
“I never thought I’d hear you say those words to me again,” Zayn said tearfully. “I love you.”

  
  
“And I never thought I’d hear you say those three words to me again,” Liam murmured. His eyes were dark with a concoction of love, lust and heavy passion. A yearning. A craving. Zayn flushed knowing he was the target of that look and it still overwhelmed him even after all this time.

  
  
“Tell me you love me?” Zayn asked softly.

  
  
“I love you. I love you more than my heart can carry. I love you more than any and all limits. More than an infinite if possible. I love you so much that I could crumble under the weight of my own words if I lay them out for you,” Liam said as he stroked his cheek gently.

  
  
Zayn trembled under his words and couldn’t help his tears that leaked out. He never thought he’d have this again. He thought he’d lost it all. “Jaan...” was all Zayn could whisper.

  
  
Liam bent down and licked across Zayn’s lips. Just a soft movement. Not asking for any entrance. He ran the tip of his tongue across Zayn’s lips left to right. And then he ran it up. Zayn absolutely shook from the feeling like he may burst at the seams from it. Liam then used the pad of his finger to trance the outline of Zayn’s mouth. Zayn was breathless. Liam slipped his finger in to touch Zayn’s tongue and Zayn couldn’t help but flick his tongue against it.

  
  
Liam’s eyes turned dark and he used his finger to open Zayn’s mouth and then he leaned in excruciatingly slow to press his lips to Zayn’s. Zayn moaned softly as Liam ran his tongue past the seam of his wet lips to tangle with his tongue. Liam was kissing him slowly like he was learning the taste of his mouth again. Zayn ran his hands into Liam’s thick and damp hair to clutch fistfuls of it.

  
  
The kiss turned heavier as Liam bit his bottom lip and Zayn whimpered. Liam kissed it softly before sucking on it. Zayn was panting loudly, unable to speak at all. Liam was kissing him in new torturous ways that made Zayn tremble with need.

  
  
“I’ve missed these lips of yours,” Liam murmured and traced his red and wet lips. Zayn blinked at him slowly. “I’ve missed the sounds you make when I start to take you apart with just my tongue. I’ve missed how your body curves and reacts when I start to touch you.” As Liam whispered those words, he ran his fingers down to the button of Zayn’s jeans.

  
  
Zayn breathed carefully as he watched Liam pop the button open but do nothing more. Liam was torturing him. He ran his finger along the top of the jeans and traced Zayn’s hipbone but did nothing more. He dipped a finger down and touched the waistband of his briefs which made Zayn tremble.

  
  
“Liam...” Zayn whispered desperately.

  
  
“What do you need?” Liam asked as he kissed down to his stomach.

  
  
“I need you,” Zayn murmured.

  
  
“Tell me exactly what you need,” Liam said with a small playful smile, but his eyes were dark.

  
  
“Just... just... you... all of you,” Zayn felt his body shake as Liam tugged his jeans and briefs down a little to kiss along his hips.

  
  
“Mmm... I need something clearer than that baby,” Liam hummed and looked up at him.

  
  
“I want to feel you inside me,” Zayn whispered.

  
  
“Step by step,” Liam corrected.

  
  
“I –“ Zayn blinked at him slowly. Why wouldn’t Liam just rip their clothes off and do it already? But Liam gave him an expectant smile and Zayn knew he intended to tease him all night long.

  
  
“Take off the rest of my clothes,” Zayn said softly. Liam smiled and kissed his stomach before he grabbed a hold of Zayn’s jeans and peeled them off along with his briefs.

  
“T-take off yours too,” Zayn stuttered, feeling hot underneath Liam’s intense gaze on his naked body. Liam moved back and dropped his own pants and briefs too and Zayn almost came on the spot when he saw how much Liam wanted him.

  
  
“And?” Liam grabbed his thigh to tug him down a little and kissed the soft skin on the inside. Zayn sighed as Liam kissed his thigh freckle and sucked gently on the skin. Liam seemed to pause there and kissed it a few times before he looked up at Zayn with heavy eyes.

  
  
“Go on,” Liam prompted and ran his fingers close to where Zayn needed him most but avoided the spot.

  
  
“And- and touch me,” Zayn stammered and rubbed a hand down his face to ease the raging fire inside him.

  
  
“Where?” Liam asked. Zayn paused and looked at him for a second but Liam just gave him a small smirk. Zayn took Liam’s hand and placed it on his own hard length. Liam smiled and kissed his hip before using his hand in a slow excruciating way to bring him to the edge and then slow down.

  
“Liam!” Zayn gasped as the man lowered his head to use his mouth. Zayn felt like his vision was starting to black out. He drew his legs up over Liam’s shoulders and tightened his hands in Liam’s hair.

  
  
“What next baby boy?” Liam asked a little hoarsely.

  
  
“Use your fingers to open me up and then fuck me jaan,” Zayn said bluntly, totally out of his mind to care about anything. “Fuck me like you’ve wanted to fuck me all these months apart.”

  
  
Liam practically growled and Zayn felt himself get flipped over. He smiled into the sheets and felt breathless as Liam nudged his thighs apart to settle between them.

  
  
“That may be an understatement,” Liam murmured.

  
  
“Oh? Well then show me everything you’ve wanted to do since we’ve been apart,” Zayn said coyly.

  
  
Liam hummed and ran a hand down his back to settle on the curve of his ass. Zayn felt impatient and pushed back into the hand a little to spur Liam on. Liam just squeezed him lightly in response. Then Zayn felt lips on the base of his spine and he almost passed out from nerves.

  
“How much have you wanted me in all this time apart?” Liam asked him in a low voice.

  
  
“So much that I felt like a fire was burning under my skin constantly and consistently and anytime I saw you I was desperate to run you and ask you to put it out, even if just for a second we could forget what was between us and you could take me into your arms and rip the clothes from my body –” Zayn cried out as he felt Liam’s tongue run down there. His vision did black out this time from the total bliss he felt as Liam kissed him where he was most sensitive.

  
  
Zayn’s limbs were jelly and his brain had melted into a sea of passion and incoherent thoughts by the time Liam had added fingers to accompany his tongue. His body was completely at Liam’s mercy as he worked him open and Zayn alternated between pushing into the sheets for relief and back against Liam. He realized he was crying out in a mix of Urdu and English as he begged Liam to get in him already.

  
  
“Ready baby?” Liam whispered into his ear as he pressed a hot kiss to the corner of his mouth. Zayn just nodded and he heard the sound of a condom being ripped open. He turned his head a little to see Liam holding himself in his hand as he stroked himself and just stared down at Zayn with passion. Zayn nudged his heel against Liam’s leg which made the man smile at him.

  
“I love you angel,” Liam leaned down to kiss him.

  
  
“I love you too,” Zayn murmured softly and smiled at the man who he had sacrificed everything for and lost but found his way back to. His shattered heart was in Liam’s hands and he had mended it ever so gently to place back into Zayn’s chest.

  
  
Zayn turned his face into the sheets as tears escaped him from all the emotions he suddenly felt. Liam gripped his hand tightly as he touched him where he was open before pushing in gently. Something like warmth, thick and strong, flooded his body as Liam slid in until they were pressed together as one and Zayn couldn’t help the tears leaving his eyes because he had thought he’d never have this again. He thought he had lost Liam completely and he would live empty and hollow for the rest of his life. But he was here. Under Liam. Joined with him in the most intimate way possible as Liam murmured soft words into his ear and moved into him at a slow pace.

  
  
“I want to see your face,” Liam said suddenly. Zayn nodded and Liam moved out of him slowly before turning Zayn over. He smiled at him and leaned down to kiss him as he pushed Zayn’s legs apart.

  
  
“Did you know that I love you?” Liam said in a soft voice as he kissed his forehead.

  
  
“I do know. Because I love you too,” Zayn whispered tearfully. He wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck to bury his face into his shoulder as Liam entered him once again.

  
Zayn whimpered and Liam pressed a tender kiss to his lips. Their hands were linked as they moved in a slow rhythm. Eventually Zayn felt incoherent again and threw his head back as he urged Liam to go a little faster. Liam kissed his throat before he gripped his hips and sped up. They didn’t last long after that as they came almost at the same time.

  
  
“I love you jaan,” Zayn said as he shuddered in Liam’s arms.

  
  
“Love you too angel,” Liam whispered into his neck as he kissed him there. They lay there trying to catch their breaths, in a tangle of sheets and limbs. Zayn felt like he had blacked out as always and Liam kissed along his sweaty hairline as he recovered.

  
  
“Alright sweetheart?” Liam asked. Zayn nodded and turned his head a little to kiss Liam’s cheek before curling into him again. He listened to Liam’s heartbeat for a few minutes as he gained his senses. When he did look up at Liam, he was struck by the other man’s loving gaze as he stroked his hair and pressed endless kisses to his face.

  
  
“What are you thinking?” Zayn whispered.

  
  
“I’m thinking that I adore you,” Liam murmured in a warm tone and kissed his head.

  
  
Zayn flushed a little and pressed himself forward to kiss Liam. The kiss turned into shorter pecks and then Liam turned over so Zayn could lay with his head on his chest properly.

  
  
“I’m thinking that I worship you,” Zayn whispered back. Liam looked at him in silence for a few seconds before he whispered, ‘oh baby,’ and pulled Zayn into an embrace to join their lips together again.

 

**

 

 

There was the sound of humming and a tickling feeling across his chest. Liam reached a hand up in his sleep to brush away whatever was on his chest and he felt something silky. He heard a giggle and he blinked his eyes open slowly. The first thing he saw was wide hazel eyes framed by long and thick lashes. Then he saw a beautiful smile. Liam slowly smiled. Zayn was laying on top of his chest with his chin resting on his hands. He was running his fingertips across Liam’s chest and smiling widely at him.

 

“Morning,” Zayn murmured softly.

 

“Mmm. Hi gorgeous,” Liam said with a grin. Zayn blushed a little as his eyes sparkled and he bit his lip. Liam brought his hand up to run through Zayn’s thick hair. It was long and fell across his forehead in a wavy fringe. Liam had never seen someone more beautiful. He kissed Zayn’s forehead and then trailed some kisses to his jaw. “How long have you been awake?” Liam asked.

 

“A while. Just admiring your sexy face,” Zayn said with a grin.

 

“Oh really?” Liam asked with a chuckle. He wrapped his arms around Zayn’s waist to tug him onto the bed and Zayn laughed brightly. Liam smothered his face with kisses and then captured his lips in a sweet kiss. Zayn sighed into his mouth and wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck. He had pulled on one of Liam’s jumpers but had nothing underneath. Liam ran a hand under the jumper rubbed the soft skin of Zayn’s backside. Zayn whimpered a little and Liam kissed his temple.

 

“Are you okay?” Liam asked. They had had sex twice more after the first time last night and Liam had worried that he had gotten a little too rough the second time. But Zayn had reassured him that he was okay and had wanted it like that and they had found themselves falling into each other again.

 

“I’m fine jaan,” Zayn said with a soft smile. “More than fine. I don’t think I’ve ever felt such happiness in my life.”

 

“What if I said I loved you?” Liam said with a kiss to his ear. Zayn smiled and buried his face into his neck.

 

“It’s gone up,” Zayn whispered. Liam pulled him in closer to pepper his face with kisses. Zayn started to laugh at something and Liam moved back to look at him curiously.

 

“You have…” Zayn giggled and pointed at the dried cum on Liam’s stomach.

 

“That’s yours,” Liam said with a smirk and bit his neck lightly.

 

“We should shower,” Zayn said but curled in closer.

 

“Mmm… I can think of a few other things,” Liam said in turn.

 

“Shower first,” Zayn said and scratched a hand through Liam’s hair. Liam closed his eyes and hummed as he dropped his head to rest on Zayn’s chest for a second and the boy ran gentle hands through his hair. Then he remembered something and opened his eyes. He sat up with a groan and Zayn looked at him worried.

 

“I have to leave for Aspen tonight,” Liam sighed.

 

“Oh,” Zayn said, and his face fell so quickly that Liam’s heart broke.

 

“I don’t want to be away from you,” Liam murmured and tugged Zayn forward. The boy fell against his chest and sighed deeply.

 

“We just got back together. I can’t stay away from you for a week or more,” Zayn whispered.

 

“Come with me,” Liam said suddenly. Zayn froze in surprise and Liam moved back to cup his face with a smile. “Come to Aspen and celebrate Christmas with me.”

 

“What? I- Aren’t you with your family?” Zayn asked slowly.

 

“Yes. But I want you with me too and my family would love to have you,” Liam said.

 

“But my family… I’m usually with them,” Zayn said.

 

“Do you guys usually celebrate Christmas?” Liam questioned curiously.

 

“Well not in the religious sense… but my mom celebrated Christmas growing up, I told you she converted when she married my dad, but she carries on the tradition with us and we have a nice dinner and exchange gifts and we’ll decorate a tree. Christmas Eve we spend with Harry’s family,” Zayn told him.

 

“Oh…well…” Liam looked at Zayn and then got an idea. “Would your family be willing to come to Aspen too?”

 

“What?” Zayn asked in shock.

 

“Would your family like to come and spend Christmas with my family in Aspen? I know my parents would love to have you all,” Liam said.

 

“Liam... we can’t just invade your Christmas and I don’t know what my family will say,” Zayn said carefully.

 

“Baby… I want to be with you on Christmas. I want to be with you in Aspen, amongst the snow, in a nice lodge, making love to you. I can’t bear to be apart from you just yet. You’re my Christmas miracle,” Liam said with a smile.

 

“Don’t say that,” Zayn murmured and climbed into his lap to bury his face into Liam’s neck. “I want to come with you,” Zayn whispered into his neck.

 

“So will you?” Liam asked hopefully.

 

“I have to talk to my parents to see if they’d be willing to come. They’ll probably say no,” Zayn said with a small laugh although he sounded sad.

 

“Maybe they won’t,” Liam said in a reassuring tone. “I leave tonight in my jet and if your family agrees we can leave together. My parents are already there since they go a few days early to set up. My mom is intense about Christmas. My sisters will fly there tonight too.  And Niall’s family joins us on Boxing Day and stays until New Years. It’s a tradition between our families to spend the holidays together in Aspen.”  


“Sounds brilliant,” Zayn said with a smile.

 

“If your family agrees, you’re free to invite Harry and Louis as well, even if they want to join us after Christmas like Niall is,” Liam said.

 

“I’m going to call my parents after we shower,” Zayn said.

 

“Speaking of,” Liam said. He stood up from the bed and swept Zayn up into his arms who gasped a little and laughed. Liam kissed him as he walked into the bathroom. He set Zayn down and pulled his jumper off his body before he reached into his shower to turn it on. Liam stepped under the water and felt arms around his waist as Zayn came in after him. Liam turned around and smiled at Zayn before leaning in to kiss him. Liam pushed Zayn’s hair off his face and grinned at him. His hair looked even darker under the water.

 

“It’s getting too long,” Zayn said.

 

“I love it,” Liam declared. “So fucking much. You look incredibly sexy with this longer hair.”

 

Zayn flushed and leaned forward to attach his lips to Liam’s. They melted into one another again and let the warmth of the water surround them as their tongues and hands rediscovered one another again and they satisfied the yearning they had been living in for one another.

 

 

**

 

Liam picked up the plate of breakfast he had prepared by throwing together the random items he found in in his fridge. It was mostly empty given the fact that Mary and Patrick had left on vacation to go spend Christmas with their daughter and her family in Ohio. Liam had been able to conjure some toast and scrambled eggs and he took that and his mug of coffee into the living room. Zayn was sat on the sofa, wrapped up in Liam’s hoodie, hair still damp, and letting his foot dangle towards Ray who kept jumping up to grab onto the cartoon dogs on Zayn’s woolen socks. Zayn was murmuring into his phone with a smile on his face.

 

Liam put the food down beside him and deposited a kiss to his head which Zayn smiled at. Liam sat into the armchair and sipped his coffee as he whistled for Ray and passed him a toy to play with. Zayn glanced over at Liam, then got up from the sofa he was sat on and came to sit in Liam’s lap. He pulled his legs up to curl against Liam and tucked his face against Liam’s chest. He was still talking on the phone and Liam smiled down at him before running a hand through his damp hair and kissing his forehead.

 

“I know Maa. I’ll see you in a little bit then,” Zayn said. “Okay. Khuda Hafiz.” Zayn shut his phone and leaned up for a kiss which Liam gave him with a grin.

 

“Talk to your mom?” Liam asked. Zayn nodded and leaned over to grab the plate of breakfast as Liam held onto his waist to stabilize him. Zayn got comfortable again and bit into a piece of toast.

 

“She is really happy that we fixed this,” Zayn said with a smile and Liam leaned forward to kiss the crumbs off his lips. “She’s been so worried for me lately with everything that’s been going on that she had no problem with me spending Christmas with you and not them because she wants me to be happy. But when I told her I want to be with all of them on Christmas too and that you’ve invited them, she wasn’t too sure. She said she doesn’t want to intrude into your family’s celebrations and that we already had the plan with Harry’s family.”

 

“So, what will you do?” Liam asked as he rubbed a thumb over Zayn’s chin. Zayn sighed and put the plate aside before he wrapped his arms around Liam and hugged him.

 

“I dunno… I can’t decide. You decide for me,” Zayn murmured.

 

Liam laughed and kissed the top of his head. “You know I can’t do that baby. It’s your choice to make. And you know I would be biased because I want you to myself.”

 

“Well… worst comes to worst I’ll spend Christmas with my family and come out to see you after that for New Years. Or vice versa. But my family may eventually agree because Waliyha overheard me on the phone and she’s adamant on wanting to go to Aspen. She called our family Christmas dinner boring and then Safaa heard too so they might gang up on my parents,” Zayn said with a shrug.

 

“Well they’ve got a few hours to decide so they might come around. In the meantime, you can at least spend the rest of the day with me before I leave,” Liam said.

 

“Hmm… can I ask you something? Who is that third stocking up there for?” Zayn asked and pointed at the third stocking on Liam’s fireplace beside the one’s marked for him and Ray.

 

“That… Mary was being sneaky when she decorated my living room and she put that up for you. She’s always been rooting for us to get back together and maybe she had a premonition that it would happen by Christmas,” Liam said with a grin.

 

“Oh,” Zayn said with a small laugh. “I thought it might have been for umm… like someone else.”

 

“Like who?” Liam asked in confusion.

 

“I dunno. You’ve dated a lot of people in the time we were apart,” Zayn mumbled and stared straight ahead.

 

Liam felt guilt strike his body because he hadn’t even realized that since Zayn had never actually fallen out of love with him, that seeing the string of people Liam had hooked up with might have caused him a lot of pain. At the time, he had done so because he had been desperate to numb the pain Zayn had caused by leaving him, and leaving the images of him with Maheer. But now that he knew that none of that had been true, it made him feel an immense amount of guilt.

 

“God… Zayn I’m so sorry. I don’t know how you must have felt seeing me with Adrian or anyone else and I don’t know what to say. I was in so much pain and trying to forget you and numb the pain seemed impossible. I thought at the time that losing myself in someone else could help but it didn’t. It was an unhealthy coping mechanism and I’m sorry I put myself and you through that. It was fucked up. I’m sorry my love,” Liam said and cupped Zayn’s jaw to kiss him gently.

 

“It’s okay Liam. You don’t have to apologize. You thought I didn’t love you anymore. And we weren’t together anymore so you weren’t cheating. It did hurt to see you with other people, I won’t lie. But I said such horrid things to you the night we broke up that I can’t even begin to imagine the mindset you were in. I would have been crushed if I was in your place and used some fucked up coping mechanism too. It wasn’t healthy but you’re human after all. And we’re back with each other now and I don’t want to dwell on past thoughts as dark as that,” Zayn said. He then cupped Liam’s face and kissed him lightly.

 

“My angel,” Liam murmured and wrapped tight arms around him to kiss him deeply.

 

“But am I your _Christmas_ angel?” Zayn asked with a bright grin.

 

Liam started laughing and pinched his chin fondly before peppering more kisses across his face and lips. “Yes, you are. You’re my Christmas angel and my Christmas miracle.” Liam lifted Zayn’s hand to kiss his palm and when he spotted the ‘Liam’ tattoo on Zayn’s wrist, he pressed his lips to it gently. Zayn’s eyes softened and seemed to fill with tears.

 

“I thought I would have to hide that for the rest of my life. I got it in the darkest moments of my life. When you saw me outside Red after kissing Maheer and you told me that I was your undoing. I needed something permanent to remind me that I was doing everything to keep you safe. That your safety mattered more than you hating me,” Zayn whispered as his eyes seemed to blink back the tears.

 

“Zayn…” Liam murmured and kissed his temple as he pulled him into a hug. “I never hated you. I told you that it’s physically impossible for me to hate you. And whenever I think about the shit you were going through it makes me want to go and drag Max back to Tony’s and to break every other bone in his body.”

 

Zayn nodded and hugged Liam’s hand tightly to his chest so that both of their tattoos lay side by side against the rise and fall of Zayn’s chest. Liam ran his fingers over both the words and thought that life had an interesting and ironic way of pushing and pulling hearts together. They had been living with shattered hearts but still existing because of the life that their love pushed through them. The evidence of it permanently etched on their bodies. So that even during their toughest moments, when simply not existing anymore felt like an easier option, these words reminded them of the happiness they had once held. And every force out there in the universe must have worked in union to bring these words together and make them whole again.

 

“You’re right,” Zayn murmured into his chest and Liam realized he had spoken those words out loud. “The universe and all its infinite wisdom is a sneaky little thing.”

 

Liam smiled and buried his face into Zayn’s thick hair to breathe him in for a moment. To ground himself and remember that this in fact was real. That he had Zayn back in his arms and would never let him go again.

 

**

 

“Liam! Liam!”

 

Liam stepped out of his closet with a pile of clothes in his hands when Zayn jumped on him and made him stumble backwards. Liam dropped everything and grabbed onto Zayn with one hand and the doorframe with the other so they wouldn’t sprawl to the ground.

 

“What’s up baby? Where’s the fire?” Liam asked with a laugh. Zayn was beaming and his face was flushed with happiness.

 

“They said yes! My parents said yes! We’re all coming to Aspen with you!” Zayn yelled in delight.

 

“What? Really?” Liam asked in surprise.

 

“Yes! The girls must have worked some magic because Waliyha texted me and said they cried and begged and eventually my parents agreed! I talked to Baba two minutes ago and he said to thank you for the offer and that they’ll come! Doniya Baji, Amir Bhai and the kids can make it too!” Zayn hugged him tightly and Liam grinned and kissed his head.

 

“That’s good news baby! I know you were conflicted about where to spend Christmas and I’m glad they said yes because I really don’t want to be apart from you right now,” Liam told him with a kiss.

 

“I know. I’m so happy right now,” Zayn said breathlessly. “But wait… I need to go home and pack. What time are you flying out?”

 

“Seven p.m. You’ve got time. I’ll take you home to pack and we can bring your family back with us,” Liam replied and then added jokingly, “although you won’t be needing much clothes.”

 

“Our families will be there Liam. We need to behave,” Zayn said with a smile and shook his head. “Although my Christmas sweater got destroyed in the rain last night so I won’t be able to carry on the ugly sweater tradition.” Zayn kissed him and jumped down from his arms to go over to the sofa where his ruined sweater lay.

 

“There’s some stores near our lodge where you can buy one tomorrow,” Liam said. “Although I called my mom earlier to tell her you and your family were potentially joining us and she got so excited that she said she’d go out to the shops and buy all of you Christmas pajamas. It’s a family tradition to wear the pajamas my mom buys us on Christmas Eve and morning.”

 

“Your mom is so sweet,” Zayn said with a soft smile.

 

“More like weirdly intense about Christmas,” Liam joked.

 

“You can’t say that about your mom,” Zayn chided. “But can we get going?”

 

“Okay,” Liam said. When Zayn turned around to pick up his clothes, Liam tackled him to the bed and attacked him with kisses. Zayn shrieked with laughter and twisted underneath him to pull away as Liam ran his hands under Zayn’s shirt to tickle along his sides.

 

“One thing I did not miss about you was this!” Zayn screamed through tears and laughs as he pulled away.

 

“You lie!” Liam gasped playfully and Zayn threw a pillow on his face before running away.

 

“Get your ass down here jaan! We gotta go! And we need to pack Ray’s stuff too!” Zayn yelled from downstairs. Liam grinned and threw the last of his things into his suitcase before grabbing his phone and going downstairs.

 

**

 

 

“Woah! You have your own plane! How much money do you have?” Safaa exclaimed.

 

Everyone was pulling their luggage out of the car which was parked nearby Liam’s jet. Safaa had jumped out of the car in excitement and become stunned when she saw the jet.

 

“Safaa! Where are your manners?!” Tricia scolded. Safaa apologized and Liam grinned at her. Zayn smiled as he watched Liam take Safaa’s hand and help her onto the plane. One of the attendants came up to him and offered to take his carry-on and Ray’s carrier which Zayn handed over and thanked him for. As he was grabbing his backpack Waliyha came over to him and nudged him lightly.

 

“You good?” She asked. Zayn nodded and she grinned at him. She leaned forward and gave him a quick hug before moving back while clearing her throat. “Only because I’m happy you figured your shit out with Liam.”

 

“Thanks for the kind gesture,” Zayn said while rolling his eyes. Waliyha smacked him and turned to grab her bag before running towards the plane. Zayn followed her quickly since he was the last to climb on the plane. When he entered, there was a lot of noise as everyone settled in. Zayn helped get the little ones settled into seats and then made his way to the pair of seats in the back corner. He opened the overhead compartment to put his backpack in and as he did so, he felt an arm wrap around his waist and a kiss get pressed to his nape. Zayn smiled as he recognized the familiar cologne and strong arms.  

 

“Is this seat beside you free, cutie?” Liam murmured into his ear.

 

“I dunno. What can you offer that’ll make the trip more enjoyable with you beside me?” Zayn asked jokingly.

 

“Mmm. I can think of a few things,” Liam whispered and ran his hand up the front of Zayn’s sweater and kissed his neck. Zayn flushed a little and smiled. He caught Doniya’s eye who was sat in the row in front of them, her seat facing the back, and she was looking at him with a smirk, her brow raised.  Zayn blushed and quickly pulled away.

 

“Behave,” Zayn whispered and dropped into his seat. Liam chuckled and sat down in the seat beside him. He picked up Zayn’s hand and pressed a kiss to it before holding it in his own lap and stroking it gently.

 

“So I talked to Harry and he’s determined to join us. He asked his mom and she said he can fly over on Boxing Day. Of course she had to talk to my mom first,” Zayn said.

 

“Sounds good,” Liam said. “I can get him the ticket if he needs one. I did invite him after all, he shouldn’t have to pay.”

 

“He had a feeling you’d say that and he said not to worry. He’s got it figured it out. His mom has a lot of Air Miles,” Zayn said and pecked Liam’s cheek. “Thank you though.”

 

Liam wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him forward to kiss his head. “A few days ago I thought to myself that this would probably be the most depressing Christmas ever. And thanks to you, my little Christmas angel, it’ll probably be the best.”

 

Zayn smiled as Liam pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. He then tucked his face into Liam’s shoulder and held onto his hand tightly. “Thank _you_ for being my every dream come to life. I love you so much. I thought I was going to live a life of despair after we broke up and only have snatches of happiness that would be bleak compared to the happiness I shared with you. And now… now I feel like I’m living something no short of a miracle. I have you back in my life and I don’t need anything else. This will be my lasting happiness for the rest of my life. I hope I get to stay like this for the rest of my days.”

 

“You will. _We_ will,” Liam promised. Zayn felt a smile cover his face and he pressed a gentle kiss to Liam’s lips before he curled up close to the man and closed his eyes. If he had ever taken his happiness and love for granted before he would now hold it close to his heart like a treasured, precious jewel. He knew what losing all of this felt like and he would be thankful every single day, humbled every single day, that he was given a second chance at a love like this. To have his entire world get pieced back together. And he was much stronger now. The loss had made his heart and faith in their love much stronger. He would hold this love and happiness in his heart with a fierce protectiveness and never let anyone intrude on it again.

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok lmao first off i want to clarify something, i know NOTHING about the laws behind embezzlement charges and assault and battery charges etc. like for example how many months or years you can get for them in jail or the possibility of a trial etc. so i've been winging it and going off my knowledge from movies or tv shows. so please forgive any of the 'law' errors or if it didnt sound realistic. max and jason wont really be mentioned again since liam finished them off for good but to let u guys know, they def go to prison and since max singed over his rights to his hotel he'll be left penniless, it's what he deserves. 
> 
> anyways, i hope you guys liked the chapter! It has been a wild ride fleshing this angst out and writing it and seeing your guys reactions which ranged from being slightly upset to people going on angry rants, but i hope this was a satisfying makeup :) it's been a long time coming and the bar/rain scene was actually in my top 5 fave scenes to write. (Won't lie, ill miss the angst). but the fluff is a nice comeback too. especially cus there's really only one more chapter left and then there's an epilogue (a tiny possibility of a two part epilogue if i cant put everything into one chapter but i like rounded numbers so i wanna stick to 25). but holy shit. this fic is coming to an end. it actually makes me super sad. when it's over i will most likely be continuing with drabbles and writing snippets of stuff i never got to fit into the overall fic and if u guys have specific requests for things that didnt make the cut for the epilogue when it happens. next chapter is mostly based around christmas and being in aspen and its all fun times and fluff. then theres the proper ending for the fic :') 
> 
> thank you guys soooooo fucking much for all the lovely messages u leave me on tumblr (apologies for replying late) and the wonderful comments you leave on the chapters over here which i love reading! you guys are literally so incredible and supportive and if not for you i would have lost all motivation. seriously, i love you. <33
> 
> p.s. this is something ive alwayssss been curious about and feel free to not respond to this if u dont want to, but ive always wondered what peoples fave chapter is, and what their fave scene is. i have mine and ive always wondered how it varies with you guys. this is simply me being nosy, so if ur up for it, lemme know in the comments or mssg me on tumblr and let me know what your fave chap is and what ur fave scene is. thanks :))))


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, hope everyone is doing well :) This chapter finished surprisingly earlier than I had thought! And its my longest one yet at 102 pages and 30.5k words.... lmao.... i hope you're ready for a long ass chapter which could have been broken into 2 chapters but i really want to finish at the number 25. So I hope you enjoy this long-ass chapter (which is the length of a normal fic) and enjoy the overload of cheesy fluff :) This is the penultimate chapter, only the epilogue to go and my god i'm emotional. I love you all for your support, thank you so much!! ENJOY!! 
> 
> P.S. so lmaooo i totally made a little mistake which you probably wouldn't have noticed but im gonna point it out now in case anyone does. So in the beginning of the chapter i write that Ray is there, as i mentioned last chapter that they brought him along. Then after the one mention i totally fucking forgot to include him anywhere else (i know im horrible). And when i was editing i tried to think of multiple ways to add him here and there but it was coming out forced so i was like screw it. Just know that in between the lines Ray was running around the ski lodge and having loads of cat fun at Christmas even though it's not written out, dont worry ziam aren't irresponsible cat parents :)

 

 

“Uncle Li! Uncle Li!”

 

The warmth of the lodge surrounded him just as a rosy cheeked Lily came rushing towards the front door to collide into him. Liam grinned widely and bent down to lift his niece into his arms.

 

“Lills!” Liam exclaimed with the same enthusiasm as her and pressed messy kisses all over her head and face. Lily melted into a mess of giggles and wrapped her tiny arms around Liam’s neck to hug him tightly.

 

“I’ve been waitin’ all day fo’ you!” She pouted.

 

“I’ve missed you love-bug but we gotta get inside because everyone else is freezing behind me,” Liam said with a laugh as he gestured behind himself to Zayn and his family who were waiting in the entrance behind Liam. Lily flushed shyly at the newer people and waved at Zayn.

 

“Hi sweetheart,” Zayn said softly and kissed her head as he passed by them. Lily grinned at Zayn and Liam felt his heart warm as he looked between them both. Liam set Lily down as the rest of Zayn’s family made their way in.

 

“You’re all here!” Karen walked out of the living room up ahead and gave them all warm smiles. “Please come in. It’s freezing outside and I can get some tea started.”

 

“Mom, this is Zayn’s mom and dad, Tricia and Yaser. These are his sisters Doniya, Waliyha and Safaa. This is Doniya’s husband Amir and their two little ones Mina and Ali.” Liam gave the introductions as everyone entered the living room. He gave his mom a tight hug and kiss to her head before he sat onto the sofa. Karen, ever the warm and welcoming woman, gave hugs to every member of Zayn’s family and thanked them tremendously for joining them and making their Christmas better.

 

“No, no. Thank _you_ for inviting all of us here. I can only imagine how much you had to switch your plans around to adjust us, but when Zayn and Liam asked us with such convincing faces we couldn’t say no,” Tricia said with a smile and squeeze to Karen’s arm. Karen smiled back at her and then turned to Zayn. The boy was helping a sleepy Mina out of her jacket.

 

“And you,” Karen said softly in Zayn’s direction. Zayn looked at her and smiled shyly. He looked over at Liam and Liam gave him a grin. He walked over to Karen and she drew him into a tight hug, almost teary-eyed. “Liam told me about what’s happened. I have no words my love. You sacrificed so much out of love for my son and I am astounded. I want to apologize for everything you’ve been through and not to mention how happy I am you two found your way back. You’re incredible and I can only see why Liam loves you so much.”

 

“You’re too kind Karen,” Zayn murmured with a heavy flush. “And please don’t apologize.”

 

Karen smiled and stroked his face before planting a kiss on his cheek. “Nonsense my dear. You’re an absolute angel.” Liam smiled as his mom used his personal nickname for Zayn. She didn’t even know how Zayn was quite literally Liam’s angel. Zayn smiled again and blinked over at Liam.

 

“Would you all rather rest since it’s close to two a.m. or shall I bring out tea and something to eat?” Karen asked.

 

“I think everyone’s tired mom so we’ll crash,” Liam said with a yawn. He stood up and went over to Lily who was wrapped around Karen’s leg and looking at everyone with wide eyes. Liam lifted her up and kissed her cheek. “Where’s Mommy?”

 

“Sleeping,” Lily whispered.

 

“Everyone is asleep. Your dad knocked out the earliest. Me and Lily wanted to wait for you all,” Karen said with a fond pinch to her grand-daughter’s cheek

 

“You should sleep too princess,” Liam hummed and kissed her head. “Let’s get everyone settled mom.”

 

Karen nodded and helped grab some bags from Doniya and Amir who were balancing their sleeping babies and started directing everyone to rooms. The ski lodge belonged to Liam’s parents and had been in their family since they were all little. It was all oak wood walls and floors with multitudes of fireplaces and cozy rooms with throws and thick carpets. They had an expanse of ground out back with a hot tub and large fire pit. A forest at the back ensured privacy and they had a direct trail to the ski hills. There were nine bedrooms which ensured enough room for all of them and Niall’s family when they joined them.

 

Liam helped his mom direct the Malik family to their rooms, giving Yaser and Tricia one, Doniya and Amir one with the baby, the two younger Malik sisters and Mina in another room, and finally Liam arrived at the room which had always been his and now he would spend this next week in it with Zayn.

 

“Are we allowed to share?” Zayn murmured as he wrapped his arms around Liam’s torso from behind as they came up to his room. Liam smiled and squeezed his hands.

 

“No darling you’re going to be made to sleep separately,” Karen joked as she came up beside them. Zayn flushed and Karen pinched his cheek fondly. “Don’t be daft honey.” She kissed both their cheeks and bid them goodnight before leaving.

 

“What’s daft?” Zayn whispered as Liam turned around.

 

Liam chuckled and pulled Zayn in to kiss his head. “It means silly. My mom grew up in England remember?”

 

“Oh yeah,” Zayn said with a smile. “Her accent is such a blend now that I forget.”

 

“It’s alright,” Liam said with a laugh. “When she’s angry her accent goes totally British slang and sometimes when she’s really happy she speaks completely in French.” He picked up his and Zayn’s bags and kissed the boy’s forehead before he walked into his room and dropped the bags at the foot of the bed. He opened Ray’s carrier and took the sleeping kitten out to place him on the sofas to sleep amongst a throw blanket.

 

“Wow! This is sick,” Zayn gasped as he looked around the room. It was all dark wood like the rest of the house. There were windows on one side that looked over the back grounds. There was a huge comfy bed covered in pillows and a thick comforter and furry throw, a dresser and a set of sofas to one side. Zayn went over to the bed and threw himself onto it. He bounced a little which made him laugh. Liam watched him in amusement as he realized how much he had missed that laugh. That beautiful laugh. Zayn tossed Liam a grin and stood on the bed like he was testing the bounce of the mattress. Then he started jumping.

 

“Baby,” Liam said with a laugh. “What are you doing?”

 

“This-is-the-bounciest-bed-ever,” Zayn said between breathless giggles. Liam gave him a smile before he walked over to the bed and caught Zayn’s ankle mid-air to pull him down. Zayn gave out a tiny scream as his back hit the bed. Liam climbed on top of him to grin down at the dazed other boy.

 

“Is that all you want to be doing on this bed for the next few days?” Liam teased.

 

“Noooo,” Zayn answered in a breathless whisper. “So much more. I need to make up for so much lost time.”

 

“Don’t feel guilty about any of that my love,” Liam said as he stroked his hand through Zayn’s silky hair. “The present is all that matters. Our future is all that matters now. We have a lifetime in front of us.”

 

“I know,” Zayn replied in a hushed voice. He licked his lips in an absent-minded manner and Liam’s eyes followed the movement. Liam brushed a thumb over Zayn’s lips before leaning in and kissing them softly.

 

“I love you,” Liam murmured. Zayn smiled at him and buried his face in Liam’s neck.

 

“Love you too jaan,” Zayn said.

 

“We should probably get some sleep,” Liam suggested as he could see the tired blinking of Zayn’s eyes.

 

“Mmm,” Zayn hummed with a yawn. “Can you undress me?”

 

Liam leaned back and rubbed gentle hands along Zayn’s sides before taking off his sweater. He pressed a soft kiss to Zayn’s stomach which made the boy shiver and get covered in goosebumps. Liam smiled and kissed up his torso before placing a kiss on his throat and moving back. He took off Zayn’s pants, leaving him in his briefs. He pressed kisses to the boy’s thighs before climbing off the bed. Zayn was looking at him with heavy lidded eyes. Liam kissed his ankle before he took his own clothes off and went to turn off the lights. Liam made his way back to the bed as the room was swathed in darkness, with only the moonlight coming in. Zayn was already under the covers when Liam slipped underneath. He had barely turned around to face Zayn and the boy latched himself onto Liam like a koala.

 

“Hello,” Liam said with a soft chuckle.

 

“Hi,” Zayn murmured and looked up into his eyes. The room was dark but Zayn’s eyes were glinting. “I’ve missed sleeping beside you,” he whispered.

 

“Me too baby. I felt like an insomniac these past few months,” Liam said. Zayn leaned up and pecked his lips which prompted Liam to hold onto his hips tightly and kiss him more deeply.

 

“Never again,” Zayn whispered. “We’ll never spend another day or night apart again.”

 

“And we won’t have too,” Liam murmured back.

 

While Zayn was probably talking about their relationship and never being apart in that sense, Liam was already thinking much more forward than that. These past months had been so painful, being apart from Zayn had felt like actual hell. Liam knew in his heart he would never let the boy go again as long as Zayn would have him. But he could already feel how their relationship had jumped leaps ahead with them just getting back together. They had only really been in a relationship for 3-4 months, not counting the time apart, but it felt like him and Zayn had been bonded forever. And were bonded for the rest of their lives. Liam knew what he wanted to take the next step with Zayn because he truly could not spend another night without him in his arms. And soon enough he would ask Zayn to take the step with him. For now, he just held the boy in his arms tightly and breathed him in. As Zayn mumbled a good night Liam kissed his head and held him fiercely.

 

“I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you angel,” Liam whispered.

 

 

**

 

“Good morning,” Liam called out as he walked into the kitchen. It smelt heavenly. His dad was flipping pancakes and cooking eggs simultaneously, his mom was setting out cutlery along the table and Nicola was using an old fancy coffee press to brew espresso. Liam pressed a kiss to all of their cheeks.

 

“Do we only get you for holidays now Liam?” Geoff joked. “Have you divorced us?”

 

“Haha.” Liam rolled his eyes fondly and squeezed his dad in a hug from behind. “It’s a two-way street old man.”

 

“You know where we live son, you just never come over,” Geoff said with a grin and patted Liam’s cheek. Liam knew he was joking since his parents were aware of how busy he was and their own schedules were constantly packed despite being retired. But he knew his parents missed him since he went weeks without seeing them sometimes. He made a new year’s resolution in his heart to visit them more often because whenever he was around them like this he realized how much he missed them.

 

“Is anyone else awake?” Liam asked as he accepted a cup of coffee from Nicola and settled into a chair.

 

“Ruth is giving Zayn’s family a tour. I think we’ll also take them into town today because with Christmas Eve tomorrow it’ll be too busy,” Karen said.

 

“Gammy can we have the cupcakes we made yesterday for breakfast!” Lily shouted as she ran into the kitchen with Mina and Safaa following behind her shyly.

 

“No baby,” Nicola said in a warning tone. “Proper breakfast.”

 

“Let her have some,” Geoff said with a warm smile at Lily.

 

“Don’t spoil her dad,” Nicola said. “Lills where is Daddy it’s time for breakfast.”

 

“Daddy is on the phone,” Lily said. “Can I show Safaa and Mina the game room?”

 

“Quickly. I’m sure they would like to eat too,” Nicola said with a smile at Mina and Safaa.

 

“Hey,” Liam said and blocked Lily’s path with his leg. “Kiss?”

 

Lily groaned and leaned forward to peck Liam’s cheek before running off. Liam grinned and ruffled Mina and Safaa’s hair who smiled at him before they ran after Lily.

 

“Where’s Zayn?” Karen asked.

 

“Showering,” Liam said as Ruth walked into the kitchen with Zayn’s parents, Doniya, Amir and Waliyha. Ruth and Doniya were talking a mile a minute and laughing as they settled into chairs around the breakfast table too. Liam got up to grab everyone some coffee and Karen and Geoff started bringing the rest of the breakfast to the table.

 

“Anyone up for skiing today?” Liam asked.

 

“Yeah we can head over after breakfast and maybe go into town as well,” Ruth said. “Do you guys ski?”

 

“Well Amir does, none of us can,” Doniya said with a laugh. “There’s always a first I guess.”

 

“There’s lessons for kids as well,” Geoff said.

 

“Mina would love it,” Amir said.

 

“Tricia? Yaser?” Karen asked.

 

“No thank you,” Yaser said with a laugh. “These kids can go, but skiing doesn’t sound intriguing to me with my bad back and everything.”

 

“Well we can take you into town for lunch,” Geoff offered with a smile. “We’ll have our own fun while the kids can freeze their asses off in the snow.”

 

Everyone was halfway through breakfast and the kids had run off to watch television when Zayn finally came downstairs. His hair was damp and he was dressed in Liam’s hoodie and his own track pants. He looked around at the almost finished breakfast and slowly inched forward to Liam.

 

“I think I lost track of time,” he said with a small laugh. Liam grinned and tugged him into his lap. Zayn hummed in contentment and pressed his face into Liam’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around his neck. He yawned and Liam chuckled at him wondering how he was still sleepy.

 

“Tired?” Liam teased.

 

“Hmm…” Zayn picked up Liam’s cup of coffee and took a sip before making a sour face at the taste of black coffee and set it down. “Gross,” he murmured and closed his eyes again.

 

“Breakfast Zayn?” Karen asked with a smile in her voice. Zayn slowly opened his eyes and looked around the table to see his own parents and Liam’s parents staring at him with smiles.

 

“Sure,” Zayn mumbled with a blush and Liam smiled down at him. He pushed a hand through Zayn’s wet hair and kissed his forehead as the boy picked up a muffin to nibble at it.

 

“By the way mom, Niall is bringing Ameera as well. He texted me this morning,” Liam said.

 

“Oh wonderful! I love that girl,” Karen said with a grin. Liam smiled as he remembered the times when Ameera had just started working for him and Karen started adoring her and would subtly drop hints that she wished Liam would date her.

 

“Mom where did you put the extra stockings we bought? I want to hang one up for everyone,” Nicola said as she poked her head in.

 

“My room,” Karen called out.

 

“Are you up to ski?” Liam asked as he looked down at Zayn who seemed to be falling asleep.

 

“Ski?” Zayn perked up. “Umm… I don’t know how.”

 

“I could give you a few lessons and we’ll stick to the smaller hills,” Liam promised.

 

“You’ll love it Zayn,” Geoff said.

 

“As long as you’re there,” Zayn whispered into Liam’s ear. Liam smiled and pecked his cheek.

 

“I am. And you should eat quickly sleepyhead because everyone is gonna wanna leave soon,” Liam said with a smile.

 

Zayn stuffed the rest of his muffin in at once and blinked at Liam with his puffed cheeks. He tried to crack a smile and failed which ended up with him sputtering muffin crumbs everywhere as he laughed.

 

“Zayn,” Tricia said in a light scolding tone.

 

“Sorry Maa,” Zayn said as he grinned at Liam. The man couldn’t help but lean down and peck Zayn’s lips which had him blush because everyone was watching them.

 

“Let’s go Alvin,” Liam said with a chuckle as he stood up and tugged Zayn up as well.

 

“Who?” Zayn asked as they walked out the kitchen.

 

“The chipmunk,” Liam explained with a grin.

 

“You’re awful,” Zayn groaned and jumped onto his back for a piggy back ride.

 

 

**

 

 

The screaming and wailing was so sharp that Zayn covered his ears as he walked through the door. He shot a tight smile behind himself towards Doniya who was carrying a crying Mina in. The little girl had a fall on the ski hill, and although she wasn’t injured, her fear made her cry harder than normal.

 

“It’s okay meri jaan. You’re fine,” Doniya said in a soothing tone.

 

“I want Baba,” Mina cried for her dad.

 

“Baba is inside. We’re going to him Minnie,” Doniya said.

 

“Should I get her ice or something?” Zayn asked as they took off their shoes and went to the kitchen.

 

“She’s not hurt but I think the use of ice will make her feel better,” Doniya said in a low tone.

 

Zayn nodded and turned to the fridge to grab some ice as Doniya went over to the living room where everyone else had assembled as they returned from their day of skiing. It had gone pretty well other than Mina’s little fall. Zayn had felt anxious about it but Liam had given him a few lessons and practiced while holding onto his waist. Zayn caught on quick enough to ski on the small hills where he spent most of the day. Liam had left him for a bit to ski on the proper slopes with Ruth, Evan and Amir. Zayn had taken the time to help the little kids with their lessons as Mina and Lily had seemed especially wary. The day had ended for them when the crowds got too big and Mina fell.

 

Zayn took the ice into the living room where Mina was sniffling into Amir’s lap. He handed it over with a kiss to Mina’s head, then joined Ruth by the massive Christmas tree the Payne’s had erected. She was adding more gifts under the tree and when he joined her she grinned at him.

 

“Trying to figure out which gifts are yours?” She teased.

 

“I have gifts?” Zayn asked in surprise. Him and Liam had gotten back together only the day before yesterday and he did not expect the man himself or his family to have gifts for him. They couldn’t have predicted this.

 

“Yes. When Liam called yesterday, mom rushed immediately to the shops to get you all gifts,” Ruth said. “And don’t worry your little head off because that woman is obsessed with giving gifts. You don’t need to be worried about giving her or us something back. And your coming here was very short notice or we’d all have multiple gifts for you.”

 

“I’m sorry about all the last minute hassle,” Zayn apologized.

 

“Please Zaynie… it’s absolutely no hassle. You make Liam so happy and that automatically makes you an instant addition to our family. Plus your cute face is hard not to love,” Ruth chuckled and pinched his cheek.

 

“Isn’t it?” Liam said from behind them as he quickly wrapped his arms around Zayn and kissed his cheek.

 

“Hey,” Zayn said with a soft smile tilted up towards Liam.

 

“Hey baby,” Liam said and kissed him tenderly.

 

“Liam you should add your gifts under the tree as well,” Ruth said.

 

“I have some stuff being delivered here today so once it’s all ready, I’ll add them,” Liam told her.

 

“What are these last minute gifts?” Ruth asked with a curious grin.

 

“Not for you,” Liam teased and pulled Zayn away to follow him.

 

“Liam… can you do me a favour?” Zayn asked as they fell onto on an armchair.

 

“Hmm?” Liam asked as he tugged Zayn’s legs into his lap and kissed his forehead.

 

“I need to go to a mall. Like right now,” Zayn said in a low voice and scratched his fingers along Liam’s scruff.

 

“Why?” Liam asked with a raised brow.

 

“It’s important. Will you take me?” Zayn asked.

 

“Of course I will. But is it something really urgent? There’s a mall in town but it will be crowded as hell,” Liam told him as he stroked a hand through Zayn’s hair.

 

“I know. But with you helping me we can try and get out of there quickly,” Zayn said with a smile. “Now let’s slip out of here quickly.”

 

Liam pecked his lips and Zayn jumped up from his lap to run towards the coat closet. This was not an ideal time to try and buy Christmas presents, but Zayn wanted to buy some things for Liam’s family since they were hosting his family here and had gifts for them. He knew Liam and his family wouldn’t care but he wanted to do it regardless. Zayn went into the kitchen to explain to his mom what he was doing and she gave him her credit card to buy some gifts on her behalf too. Liam was waiting outside by the car when Zayn finally got outside.

 

“Are you going to tell me what you need to do?” Liam asked as they settled into their seats and he pulled the car out the driveway.

 

“I need to buy Christmas presents. I already have my family’s but I didn’t anticipate us getting back together yesterday and I need to buy your family gifts,” Zayn said.

 

“Zayn –” Liam began but Zayn quickly covered his mouth and gave him a warning look.

 

“I know what you’re about to say and I know you or your family don’t mind but I _want_ to do this. So please help me select some nice gifts?” Zayn pleaded.

 

Liam sighed and smiled fondly at him. “Alright. But you don’t have to go all out. In fact, we can make some of my gifts from the both of us.”

 

“Well I still need to buy some stuff,” Zayn said although his body warmed at the simple idea of him and Liam giving presents as one.

 

“Well then baby, are you ready to join the chaos of last minute crazed shoppers? The frantic moms who forget to buy their mother-in-law’s a gift? The pathetic husbands who are now looking for stuff for their wives?” Liam joked. Zayn huffed out a laugh and pressed a kiss to Liam’s cheek.

 

“You’ll have to hold my hand if we get lost in the madness,” Zayn joked. Liam looked over at him and gave him a grin followed by a wink before he took Zayn’s hand into his own.

 

 

**

 

 

“That lady almost ripped the sweater from my hand!”

Zayn burrowed into Liam’s side to share his warmth as they walked through town. It was snowing and Christmas lights and decorations were tinkling on all sides of them. There was a group of carollers down the street and the smell of spiced cookies floating through from a bakery they passed. Zayn smiled as he revelled in the festiveness of the town and of having Liam’s arm around his waist as the man bent to kiss his forehead.

 

“I would have fought her if she hurt you,” Liam said.

 

“Well that’s okay jaan,” Zayn said with a laugh. “The store employee made her let it go.”

 

“Got everything right?” Liam asked.

 

“Yup. Hopefully. I hope your mom likes that fancy bath stuff,” Zayn said hesitantly. He had been feeling unsure all day because truthfully, he had to budget his gifts and Liam’s family were probably used to expensive gifts. But Liam reassured him that they would love everything. The man had wandered off himself in the mall and returned with some bags which made Zayn curious but he didn’t ask since Liam didn’t tell him what he went to get. Maybe it was a surprise gift for someone.

 

“Of course she will my love. Don’t worry your little head off,” Liam said with a grin.

 

Zayn nudged him playfully then pulled to a stop as they came in front of a tiny coffee and pastry shop at the end of the street. It looked warm and cozy inside with a fireplace going and Christmas decorations surrounding the room.

 

“I’m cold and I want something to eat.” Zayn turned to Liam with a smile. “And I wanna warm up.”

 

Liam pinched his chin between a thumb and forefinger and then took Zayn’s hand to lead him in. It was a little busy but they found a booth in the back which had just emptied and Zayn dumped his bags onto the table before collapsing on the seat. Liam chuckled at him and took the time to remove his own jacket before settling down. Zayn sprawled back languidly and drew his legs over Liam’s lap.

 

“What would you like your highness?” Liam teased.

 

Zayn grinned and flipped through a menu on the table before he decided on a hot chocolate and sandwich. “Jaan, this is technically our first dinner date since getting back together.”

 

“Damn… you’re right… I would have taken you someplace much nicer,” Liam said and tugged him forward to pepper his face with kisses.

 

“This is nice too,” Zayn hummed and tucked himself into Liam’s side as he flipped idly through the menu. A harried waitress came up to them out of breath.

 

“Hi, I’m Izzy. What can I get you?” The girl asked. She looked to be around 18 or 19 years old and looked frazzled, her apron had a coffee stain on it and her hair which was in a messy bun was spilling out.

 

“I’ll take a coffee and your house special chicken sandwich,” Liam said.

 

“Hot chocolate and the veggie panini,” Zayn said with a kind smile in her direction. He understood the frustration and nerves of serving food and pitied the girl having to work a busy night right before Christmas Eve.

 

“Okay. It might take a little bit. I’m so sorry we’re kind of short staffed and I’m the only one running around here,” she apologized.

 

“Don’t worry about it. You’re doing your best. Thank you.” Liam gave her a smile and she smiled back before she rushed away again.

 

“Waliyha just texted me that the little ones have gone absolutely bananas asking everyone where you and I have gone and now they’re crying.” Zayn couldn’t help but laugh as he told Liam.

 

“Well I need some Zayn time,” Liam murmured and turned his face around to kiss him.

“We should pick up some pastries for them. They won’t let us live otherwise,” Zayn said and settled his face into the crook of Liam’s neck as the man pressed the gentlest kisses to his face. They had been talking softly while trading off kisses before the waitress from before appeared with their food.

 

“Here you go,” she said in a shaky voice as she set their plates down. Zayn looked up to thank her and saw that her cheeks were red and her eyes were glossy like they were filled with tears. He was about to ask her what had happened when Liam beat him to it.

 

“Are you okay?” Liam asked the girl in a gentle tone.

 

“Oh- I- I’m fine. Just… not a good night. A man just screamed at me because I had accidently spilled some water on his table and he walked out without paying too so my boss is pissed and I’ve lost that tip and probably more since I feel unwell and can’t focus tonight,” she rambled in a shaky voice. When she realized she had spilled more than she should have, she reddened. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be saying all this it’s so unprofessional.”

 

“Nonsense. It helps to let things out,” Liam said with a kind smile. “If you don’t mind me asking, if you don’t feel so great why aren’t you at home? It is Christmas Eve-Eve after all.”

 

“I can’t really…. I’m working today and tomorrow on Christmas Eve too since I really need the money. My mom is having surgery in the beginning of January and I’ve been picking up double shifts all week so I can help my dad save up enough. I’m only $1500 short now so hopefully… I mean who I am kidding that’s impossible…” She gulped and then started to back away. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your evening with my sob story. E-enjoy your food.”

 

“Fuck…” Zayn whispered as she went to attend another table. “That’s fucking horrible. I feel so awful.” Zayn felt his heart lurch because this poor girl had to miss Christmas festivities with her family just so she could save up for her mom’s surgery and she still wouldn’t make enough. He wished he could do something but he only had a $20 bill in his pocket which he would definitely leave as a tip but it wouldn’t be enough for her.

 

“I guess Christmas isn’t always the best time of the year for everyone,” Liam said with a sigh and kissed Zayn’s head. Zayn looked up at Liam and could see something in his eyes as Liam gazed after the girl. Zayn just quietly picked up his sandwich to eat it as Liam began eating his food as well.

 

They had just finished when Liam signalled the waitress for the bill which she brought over with an embarrassed smile and walked away. Zayn started to pull out his wallet out of sheer habit but Liam flicked his nose with a shake of his head and fond smile before he pulled out his own. Zayn noticed the bill was under $20 but Liam left two hundred dollar bills. Zayn smiled at him and kissed his cheek but Liam just reached into the back of his wallet and pulled out his chequebook. Zayn watched in confusion as Liam scribbled on the cheque then grabbed the napkin to write a note. Zayn was about to ask him what he was doing but he became speechless when he noticed Liam had written a cheque for $2000 and wrote on the napkin, ‘I hope this is enough for your mom’s surgery. You deserve to be home with your family right now and not working. Merry Christmas Izzy.’

 

“Come baby,” Liam said as he got up from the booth and grabbed the shopping bags. Zayn watched him with a wide smile as his heart warmed more than normal. Obviously it wasn’t a big deal for Liam to leave massive tips and even more but seeing Liam do tiny acts of kindness like this made Zayn remember why and how he fell so madly in love with this man.

 

They had just walked out the coffee shop when Zayn threw his arms around Liam and kissed him fervently. “You’re so incredible. You made that girl’s Christmas.”

 

“It was nothing sweetheart. Everyone deserves to be with their loved ones right now. And she shouldn’t be worrying so much about her mom’s surgery during the holidays,” Liam said and leaned down to kiss Zayn.

 

“Sir! Sir!” Zayn turned around and saw Izzy running out of the diner in just her uniform and no jacket. She was breathless as she ran up to them and Zayn noticed she was crying. She looked at both of them before she threw her arms around Liam and hugged him. “Th-thank you so fucking much. I don’t even… you don’t even know me… and you just… I don’t even know what to say this is so fucking kind. You’re a Christmas miracle.” She drew back and pressed a kiss to Liam’s cheek which had him laugh.

 

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it honestly. Enjoy your holidays. I hope your mom’s surgery goes well and promise me that you’ll take tomorrow off to be with your family,” Liam said to her.

 

“Promise. I promise. What is your name? You literally did so much for me and I don’t even know your name. I want to thank you properly on Facebook or something,” she said.

 

“Don’t worry about that. Just take care of yourself and your mom. Okay?” Liam gave her a hug and she held him tightly before she turned to Zayn with a smile and hugged him too.

 

“Merry Christmas. You’ve got a great one here,” she murmured to Zayn.

 

“I do,” Zayn said softly and took Liam’s hand. She grinned at them both before she said another teary thank you and ran back inside. “I love you,” Zayn said quickly as he turned to hug Liam.

 

“I love you too angel,” Liam said with a confused laugh. “Wanna go home?” Zayn nodded as Liam took his hand again and they began walking to where they had left the car.

 

“Can I ask you something? Do you do things like this often? Random acts of kindness or charity,” Zayn asked. He realized that in their time together he had heard people mention Liam’s charity work but he had never actually asked Liam what is what he did.

 

“I guess so. I always like to tip generously but believe it or not I have had many instances like this where a waiter or waitress will be chatting to me and they’re going through difficult times and I just like to do whatever I can to help them,” Liam said with a shrug.

 

“Like what for example?” Zayn asked curiously.

 

“Hmmm… once I had this waitress when I was In Chicago, nice old lady. She was a little grumpy at first but then told me that she had been having a hard few days because her son was off to college on a scholarship so his tuition was covered but they couldn’t afford to buy him a laptop and he was upset with them. She looked so disappointed and it sucked because it wasn’t her fault. I had to come back to New York later that day but I had a MacBook delivered to the restaurant for her the next day,” Liam explained. “Once I came across an employee of mine who was going through an extremely tough time because she was behind on mortgage payments and she was celebrating Eid but was stressed because her family was close to being homeless near a day of celebration. So I paid off her house for her.”

 

“Why are you such a soft-hearted sweetie-pie,” Zayn said in a teasing tone and kissed Liam’s cheek. Liam slapped his ass lightly and Zayn started laughing.

 

“This conversation is over,” Liam said with a laugh.

 

“No! I wanna know more!” Zayn exclaimed as they came up to the car. Liam gave him a tiny smile as he put the bags into the trunk. They climbed into their seats and Zayn looked at him expectantly.

 

“Well I support a few charities like one for AIDS research, I donate to my mom’s breast cancer research one, I donate to and support many UNICEF run charities for children in third world countries and one that looks to find and arrest child abusers. Umm… I opened a shelter a few years ago in the city that is specifically for gay and trans kids who have been abused or kicked out of their homes and they need to find immediate shelter. Our system works in a way that even if we’re at full capacity in the shelter home, we’ll get those kids into hotel rooms so they aren’t stranded. Other homeless teens are also welcome. And together with my mom I opened a shelter for women trying to escape from domestic abuse. We do toy drives for the children’s hospital regularly as well. A couple other random things like the scholarship program I started with your high school, I’m going to implement that in a few inner-city schools too. There’s one directly through NYU as well… that’s the gist. I have a team that handles all this,” Liam trailed off and threw Zayn a curious look who was staring at Liam silently.

 

“Did you know that you’re incredible?” Zayn said with a soft smile in Liam’s direction.

 

“I’m not. Seriously. Anyone and everyone who has the capacity to give to those in need should do so. Otherwise what is the fucking point in having so much money but doing jack shit with it except hoarding it?” Liam said.

 

“I know. But not everyone has such sense sadly,” Zayn said.

 

“My mom and dad told us one thing ever since we were young. You can earn as much money as you want in this world and burn it to the ground if you want. But the good you do with it is what people will remember you for. And they asked us if we wanted to be remembered in a positive light, or negative light. It was as simple as that. Even though we grew up a little spoiled… our parents taught us to always give back as much as we could to those who don’t have it,” Liam explained.

 

“I never knew this side of you. The fact that you do all this and the world doesn’t even have a clue blows my mind. Most of the articles written about you especially when you were playing football were always focused on your partying lifestyle and who you were dating. Not the good you do,” Zayn said.

 

Liam shrugged and turned to smile at Zayn. “Is charity really charity if you’re doing it only to show off to the world? It loses all meaning. It’s not about the person in need anymore.”

 

Zayn leaned over and pressed a few kisses up Liam’s face. “There’s a verse in our holy book, the Quran… in it God says that we must give charity in a way that our left hand doesn’t know what our right hand has given. And it means exactly like you put it, charity and acts of kindness should be discreet. Not to boast.”

 

“I like that verse,” Liam said and smiled at him.

 

“I like you,” Zayn said and grinned at him.

 

“I think I more than like you baby boy,” Liam said with a chuckle.

 

Zay gasped playfully and put his hand over his heart. “My heavens. Liam Payne, are you saying that you’re in love with me?” He said dramatically.

 

Liam laughed and turned to him as they paused at a red light. “Why Zayn Malik I think I may just be.”

 

“Well then bless me by planting that vicious mouth on me,” Zayn said as a cackle broke through. He couldn’t channel this southern white lady accent anymore.

 

“Get over here you fool,” Liam laughed and tugged him forward to kiss him.

 

“Your fool,” Zayn whispered into Liam’s mouth.

 

“My fool,” Liam murmured and pecked his nose right as the light turned green and people stated honking behind them.

 

**

 

 

Liam finished wrapping up the last of his presents and threw them into a sack before taking them downstairs. It was the afternoon of the 24th and since tonight was Christmas Eve, they would be having a nice dinner and Christmas movie marathon so he wouldn’t have time later. As Liam walked into the living room he saw the three little girls all dancing along to the Mean Girls ‘Jingle Bell Rock’ dance where it played on television. Waliyha was watching them in amusement.

 

“Is this appropriate?” Liam asked Waliyha with a laugh. Waliyha smiled and shrugged her shoulders.

 

“They begged for it,” she explained with a grin. Liam shook his head and emptied his abundance of gifts under the tree and spread them out evenly.

 

“Ooooo. What is in that big box labelled Zayn?” Waliyha asked with a teasing smile.

 

“That’s for me to know and for your brother to find out tomorrow,” Liam told her with a wink.

 

“Boo,” Waliyha pouted in disappointment. Liam flicked her head jokingly and wandered off towards the kitchen where he could hear laughter. His parents and Zayn’s parents were all bustling around the kitchen preparing food as Zayn sat right on the kitchen island and licked a spoon covered in chocolate.

 

“Jaan. Enough chocolate icing,” Tricia said to Zayn with a stern glare and pulled the spoon away. Zayn whined and said something to his mom in Urdu which had her shake her head with a smile and kiss his forehead. “Still no,” Tricia said.

 

Zayn pouted at his mom and Liam watched in amusement as his own mom handed Zayn a new spoon with a wink. Zayn grinned at her and kissed her cheek before he quickly licked off the new spoon covered in icing.

 

“Liam I’m making your favourite chicken pie,” Karen said as she saw him in the doorway. Zayn turned around and flashed him a wide grin which Liam returned. Liam walked up to Zayn and squeezed his face fondly as his lips curled up in a smile.

 

“Why are you so fucking cute?” Liam asked.

 

“I can’t help it. I’m cute as a button.” Zayn grinned and fluttered his lashes dramatically.

 

“Cuter,” Liam murmured and leaned in to kiss him as everyone else was occupied. Zayn flushed a little but Liam licked into his mouth to get a taste of the chocolate before he pulled away.

 

“Ahem. Liam,” Karen was staring at them with a grin. “I don’t know if Niall told you already but they’re all coming tomorrow night instead of Boxing Day. Maura said their Christmas lunch with family will be over early and they’ll be here by tomorrow night.”

 

“Sounds good,” Liam said and poured himself some tea from the pot Geoff had prepared and sat onto the kitchen table. Zayn had walked over to help his dad prepare the chicken. Liam was going through his emails, which hadn’t seemed to slow down at all in the holidays, when Doniya walked in. She had Ali in her arms and she settled onto a chair beside Liam with a smile.

 

“Hey buddy,” Liam said softly as he set down his phone and turned to the baby. He was sucking on his pacifier and gazing at Liam sleepily. He was dressed in a onesie covered in reindeers which made Liam smile.

 

“He’s a little cranky today. Amir went into town with Nicola and Evan and I’ve had to get him to calm down by myself. Amir is a whiz at that,” Doniya said with a smile.

 

“Can I?” Liam asked and held his hands out. Doniya handed Ali over gently and the baby whimpered in confusion at first but Liam rubbed his back softly and lay him against his chest which made the baby relax. He looked at Liam with wide eyes and clutched Liam’s hoodie in his tiny fists. His eyes looked exactly like a certain someone’s eyes who Liam was in love with. The realization that Liam wanted a little baby of his own with Zayn’s eyes made his heartbeat quicken.

 

“You’re just the cutest little boy aren’t you?” Liam asked in a soft murmur. He kissed Ali’s head then looked up and saw that Zayn was watching him with a soft smile and wide eyes. Liam grinned at him and Zayn flushed a little before he turned back around.

 

“The kind of love I see in your eyes for my little brother is what I would call soulmates,” Doniya proclaimed.

 

“Soulmates huh? Liam said with a chuckle. “I never used to believe in soulmates but if there is one perfect person for us out there, the other half of our soul as Zayn calls it, just like he is for me, then it must be true.”

 

“Something you should know Liam… passion can burn out. That spark you feel from the early days of your relationship can burn out and you can end up feeling restless or exhausted in a relationship sometimes. But always ask yourself one thing, is this person worth it? Is this person worth fighting for? Are they worth scarifies and compromises? Are they my one and true love even if we have tough times sometimes? If all those questions are a yes, then they are your soulmate. They are someone you are willing to spend the rest of your long life with. Sometimes soulmates can become too much for each other, toxic for each other, and it would be best for them to let go.  But if you have found the one who makes you feel like a better person, who is your true best friend, who you can envision having a home and family with, hold onto them. They will be worth it.” Doniya spoke so sincerely and gently that Liam couldn’t help but squeeze her hand and smile at her.

 

“Those were some great words Doniya. Do you use them on Amir when you argue?” Liam teased lightly.

 

“Sometimes,” Doniya laughed. “Or like at our wedding I quoted my favourite cheesy passage about soulmates to him.”

 

“Which one?” Liam asked.

 

Doniya smiled and said with a small laugh, “It goes… a soulmate… it's like a best friend, but more. It's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It's someone who makes you a better person. Actually, they don't make you a better person, you do that yourself because they inspire you. A soulmate is someone who you carry with you forever. It's the one person who knew you and accepted you and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. And no matter what happens, you'll always love her. Nothing can ever change that.”

 

“Where is that from?” Liam asked.

 

“Dawson’s Creek,” Doniya said with a bit of an embarrassed smile and Liam laughed. “Yes. I have it memorized. Don’t antagonize me about it.”

 

Liam grinned and turned over to look at Zayn as every word Doniya had said rung through his mind. Truly, every single word was true to what he felt about Zayn. What their relationship was. Zayn had been inspiring Liam to become a better person since he had come into his life. He had become his entire world. His best friend, his other half, his soulmate as Doniya said. And Liam needed nothing more than Zayn, his beautiful Zayn, to survive in this world. That boy held Liam’s entire world and happiness in his palm.

 

 

**

 

There was a tinkle of a piano as Liam walked into the living room and he saw Zayn sat on the piano bench in the living room as he fiddled with the keys. The little kids were all sitting patiently at his feet and Liam wondered if they were waiting for him to play.

 

“The show is $50 per person. No less than that girls,” Liam said and gave them pointed looks.

 

“Noooo!” Safaa yelled and Zayn rolled his eyes fondly at Liam before he shook his head at the kids to let them know Liam was kidding. Liam walked over the fireplace to add more wood since it was freezing and everyone would start watching movies soon.

 

“Play Ariana, Bhaiya,” Safaa said.

 

“Hmmm. Well there is one Ariana song I learnt a little while ago,” Zayn said. Liam settled onto the sofa and smiled at Zayn as the boy shot him a soft smile.

 

 _“I’m thinkin’ bout you… yeah I’ve been missing you… where the hell are you, oh, when I need you. I could still hear your voice, I ain’t got no choice, ‘cus I’m here all alone. I know I can’t wait ‘til you get home,”_ Zayn sang in a soft voice. Liam’s heart lurched as he listened to the words and realized that Zayn had learnt this song when they had been apart. And the words hit deep.

 

 _“Oh, I don't have you here with me, but at least I have the memory. I tried to make it through the night, but I can't control my mind. I'm just thinkin' bout you, I'm thinkin' bout you, I'm thinkin' bout you. I'm just thinkin' bout you, I'm thinkin' bout you, I'm thinkin' bout you.”_ As Zayn sang, Liam couldn’t help but stare at his face as the boy stared down at the keys, his eyelashes fluttering. When he sang the chorus, he looked up and met Liam’s eyes with something deep running through his eyes. The little kids were all staring at Zayn with silent awe too and Liam couldn’t help but agree with their reactions. Zayn and his beautiful voice was a thing of wonder.

 

“That’s amazing,” Ruth said as she walked in, Zayn immediately stopped and flushed a dep red. He thanked her quietly and kissed all the little one’s heads before he walked over to Liam and settled into his lap. Ruth started asking the kids which movie they wanted to watch and they were all distracted.

 

“Did you learn to play that when we were apart?” Liam asked softly.

 

“Yes,” Zayn murmured and tucked his face into Liam’s neck. He smiled gently at Liam and stroked his face before he continued to sing in a whisper just for Liam. _“Got these thoughts in my head, ain’t no way to forget. Got me losing my breath, nobody got me the way that you did. Had my eyes rolling back, had me arching my back. Now you love me so good, I wish you would hurry and come back.”_

 

“Baby,” Liam murmured and tightened his arms around Zayn to kiss him. Zayn sighed into the kiss and opened his mouth to let Liam’s tongue slip in. A warmth settled in Liam’s gut and he wanted to take Zayn upstairs to get his eyes rolling back like he had sang. They hadn’t been together like that since the first night they got back together. There was never a moment alone for them here and at night they always fell asleep exhausted.

 

“Ewww! No kissing!”

 

Liam broke apart from Zayn to see that Lily had shouted at them and Mina joined in on her laughing and yelling. Zayn broke away from him with a smile and Liam kissed his forehead before Zayn got up from his lap and grabbed Lily and Mina to tickle them.

 

Everyone else came in and they settled in for the movie as Karen laid out snacks. Liam settled onto the ground with his back against the sofa as his dad sat behind him with a squeeze to his shoulder. Liam noticed that Zayn was about to walk over to him to sit by him when Lily ran over to him.

 

“Uncle Li I want to sit with you,” Lily said with a wide smile.

 

“Of course sweetheart,” Liam said and tugged her into his lap with a smile. He mouthed ‘sorry’ to Zayn who pouted a little before he settled in beside Waliyha who kicked his leg playfully. Liam pulled a blanket around himself and Lily as she got comfortable in his lap with a bag of skittles in her hand.

 

They made their way through two movies before the kids had fallen asleep and they were put to bed. Then Karen, Geoff, Tricia and Yaser followed the kids and went to bed as well. Liam was stretching his legs out as Ruth got up to put on Girls Trip since the kids were gone.

 

“Is this seat available?” Liam looked up to see Zayn giving him a bright smile as he looked down at Liam’s lap.

 

“For you… always,” Liam said with a smirk and tugged him down. Zayn hummed in contentment and Liam wrapped the blanket all the way around Zayn too as he settled against Liam’s chest.

 

“It’s Christmas tomorrow,” Zayn murmured.

 

“Mhm. And tomorrow night when all the family stuff is over, I have a surprise for you,” Liam said.

 

“Really? What?” Zayn asked curiously.

 

“Surprise baby,” Liam said in a quiet voice and kissed Zayn behind his ear and down to his neck.

 

“That’s no fun,” Zayn groaned. Liam just smiled and rubbed a hand under Zayn’s shirt to feel the warmth of his skin. He had something great planned for Zayn and he couldn’t wait for tomorrow night.

 

 

**

 

“Bhaiya… Bhaiya…”

 

Zayn peeled one eye open to see Safaa standing before him with a wide grin. Zayn gave her a tired smile and rubbed his eyes as he looked over to the window to notice the early morning light streaming in.

 

“What are you doing here Saf?” Zayn whispered, trying to be quiet because Liam was asleep behind him with his arm was draped over Zayn’s waist.

 

“It’s Christmas morning! Everyone is awake downstairs and they said I should wake you. Mama said to knock but you didn’t reply when I did,” she whispered loudly.

 

“Christmas!” Zayn whispered loudly with a grin. “Let’s go then!”

 

Zayn slipped away from underneath Liam and left a kiss on his head before he took Safaa’s hand to walk into the living room. Everyone was there in the Christmas pajamas Karen had bought and sat around the tree. There was coffee and Christmas cookies waiting on the breakfast table as Zayn sat down.

 

“Merry Christmas everyone,” Zayn said with a smile.

 

“Merry Christmas love!” Karen hugged him and kissed his head. “Where’s Liam?”

 

“Still sleeping,” Zayn said.

 

“Do you mind waking him up darling? We want to start opening the presents,” Karen said.

 

“Of course,” Zayn said with a smile and stood up.

 

“Zayn… will you make hot chocolate with us?” Lily said with pleading eyes.

 

“Of course I will sweetie. Just let me go wake your Uncle Liam first,” Zayn said. He kissed her head then went upstairs. When he entered the room, he saw that Liam still had his arm stretched over Zayn’s side of the bed. He was sleeping shirtless and on his stomach and Zayn’s stomach flip-flopped like it always did when he looked at Liam. He walked over to the bed and laid down on top of Liam’s back and pressed a few kisses to his cheek.

 

“Jaan…” Zayn murmured and nuzzled Liam’s face. “Wake up… it’s Christmas.”

 

“Mmm…” Liam lifted a hand and stroked Zayn’s hair.

 

“Wake up babe,” Zayn said with a smile and pecked his lips.

 

“What do I get for waking up?” Liam’s voice was husky with sleep and something stirred inside Zayn. He bit Liam’s ear as a response and the man grabbed him and turned him over. Liam smiled at him, his eyes hazy and Zayn grinned.

 

“Hi,” Liam murmured.

 

“Hi,” Zayn replied. Liam leaned forward and kissed him gently and Zayn sighed into it, his body curving up naturally.

 

“Zayn!” There was the sound of tiny feet running and Zayn turned around to see Lily and Mina both run in.

 

“Zayn Mamoo we want to open presents!” Mina said.

 

“And- and you said we can make hot chocolate,” Lily said.

 

“Zayn will be down in a few minutes girls,” Liam said with a smile and held onto Zayn.

 

“Nooooo. Zayn has to come down now,” Lily said.

 

“Noooo. Zayn is staying with me,” Liam teased and Zayn smacked him lightly.

 

“Zayn Mamoo! You have to open presents with me!” Mina yelled.

 

“Me too!” Lily yelled.

 

“But Zayn is _my_ present so I get to keep him,” Liam teased and held onto Zayn and Zayn held back a smile. It was so sudden that they couldn’t react at first. First Lily burst out crying and then Mina followed. Soon they were both a screaming crying mess.

 

“No! We want Zayn!” Lily shouted.

 

“Mamoo is mine!” Mina cried out.

 

“Oh my… Jesus Christ… go Zayn go,” Liam said in slight amusement. Zayn smacked Liam’s arm for making the girls cry and he hopped down the bed to kiss their tears away and take their hands.

 

“Get down right now Li,” Zayn said with a smile and shake of his head. Liam grinned at him as he ran a hand through his messy hair. Zayn walked back down with the girls and they settled onto the carpet. Everyone had started digging through the presents under the gift to grab theirs. Karen and Tricia were already doing the little argument of asking why the other had both them a gift and they didn’t need to. Zayn helped the little kids open their presents first and he was in the midst of helping Safaa unwrap the set of paints he had gotten her when Liam walked in.

 

“Merry Christmas everyone,” Liam called out. Everyone replied and Ruth messed up his hair as he settled down beside her. Safaa was hugging Zayn and he kissed her head before he let her move on with her gifts.

 

“Zayn this big one down here seems to be for you,” Geoff said and handed him a heavy present with a smile. Zayn took it and felt a little confused as he wondered who could have gotten him such a gift. He looked around the room and when his eyes fell on Liam, the man was smiling at him. He gave Zayn a wink and the boy realized in that instant that Liam was behind this gift. Most of the eyes in the room were trained on him and Zayn ripped open the packaging with shaky hands. Liam must have done something crazy. When he opened it he first saw a card and he pulled it out to read it.

 

_‘Merry Christmas my little Christmas angel. You’re my literal miracle come to life and I love you so fucking much that there are not enough words in this world to show you just how much. Never in my life do I want to experience the pain I did these past few months when I had to live without you. You are my absolute and forever. This is what I could put together on short notice because if I had known I was spending Christmas with you a while ago, I would have gotten you much, much more. Merry Christmas again my love.’_

 

Zayn felt his eyes tear up but he ignored it and pulled away the tissue paper to see what Liam had gotten for him. On top there was a multitude of smaller gifts like fancy chocolates, macarons (of course), a cologne and bath products that Zayn loved, some expensive looking charcoal and pastel colour sets. Then to Zayn’s amusement and slight speechlessness, a rose gold Rolex watch. Everyone around him was cooing or gasping and Zayn couldn’t look anyone in the eyes because he lifted the last bit of tissue to see a stack of black frames. There were about ten identical frames and in each one was a sketch Zayn had made and left in the room he had at Liam’s place. His hands shook as he made his way through the frames and saw his artwork pressed inside so neatly. The final frame had not a piece of artwork, but a picture of them that they had taken a while back. It was in black and white and was from Josh’s wedding when they had been dancing. Zayn was tucked into Liam’s chest as he smiled so widely and Liam was grinning down at him with so much fond. Their hands were linked and Liam’s lips were pressed to his temple.

 

Zayn didn’t know he was teary-eyed until one slipped out and fell onto the frame. He wiped it hastily and looked up at Liam. “Jaan…” Zayn said shakily. Liam smiled softly at him and Zayn crawled forward on his knees until he was right in front of Liam.

 

“Like it?” Liam asked.

 

“I love you,” Zayn said instead and wrapped his arms around Liam to hug him tightly. He could hear loud ‘awws’ and even a sniffle behind him but he just tucked his face into Liam’s neck and held him tightly. Breathed him in.

 

“I love you too baby,” Liam murmured and kissed the top of his head.

 

“I can’t believe you got my artwork framed like that. I didn’t even think it was good enough. You’re too much for me,” Zayn laughed shakily and pressed a kiss to Liam’s neck. As he moved back, Liam cupped his face and kissed his forehead.

 

“Not even nearly enough,” Liam whispered. “You deserve the world.”

 

Zayn smiled at Liam and shook his head before he hugged him tightly again. “My little gift will seem so silly now.”

 

“Never. Where is it?” Liam asked. Zayn moved over to the tree and grabbed the small box which held his gift for Liam. He offered it, feeling shy, and Liam took it with a kiss to his head. Zayn waited nervously as Liam unwrapped the box and opened it to take out his gift. It was a thin silver chain with a tiny pendant on the end that was composed of angel wigs and a halo. On the back were the letters ‘Z’ and ‘L’ intertwined in cursive. Waliyha had started making jewellery as a hobby recently and Zayn had enlisted her help to make the necklace for Liam.

 

“Because you call me angel… and this way I’m always with you, like a personal angel,” Zayn explained nervously.

 

“Baby,” Liam said in a gentle voice. He wrapped an arm around Zayn’s waist and tugged him forward to kiss him. “This is fucking beautiful.”

 

“You like it?” Zayn asked in a soft voice.

 

“I love _you_ ,” Liam mimicked Zayn’s words from earlier with a smile and kissed him again. “This is incredible my love. Thank you so much.”

 

“Ahem. The artiste is here,” Waliyha said with a cough.

 

“My design and idea though. I sketched it out,” Zayn retorted. Liam smiled and kissed Zayn again. Zayn took the necklace from his hands and put it around Liam’s neck. He realized he had yet to ask Liam to put the Cartier necklace back on but when he did, they would both rest near his heart.

 

“Yes!”

 

Zayn turned to see the interruption coming from Safaa who was holding a couple pieces of paper in her hand. She ran forward and threw her arms around Liam’s neck to hug him. Zayn stared at them in confusion as Liam chuckled and hugged her back.

 

“Ariana tickets! Thank you, Liam!” Safaa exclaimed.

 

“You’re welcome sweetheart. There’s five VIP tickets so you can take any friends you want and Zayn as well since he’d kill me if I didn’t get him one too,” Liam said teasingly. Zayn glared at him and punched him weakly before he looked over Safaa’s shoulder excitedly. Ariana in the New Year sounded like an incredible start to the year.

 

Everyone continued opening gifts and looking through stockings as Zayn stayed glued to Liam’s side. Karen scolded him slightly, although in a gentle tone, for Zayn having gone out just to get the gifts. She pinched his cheek and told him that him being here, everyone being here, was all she needed. Zayn just kissed her cheek in response and felt his heart expand as he realized how lucky he was to have a family like this. Not just his own family who he was already blessed to have, but now Liam’s family felt like his by extension. And as he looked around at both of their families interacting amongst laughs and happy chatter, he realized _this_ is exactly what he wanted for his future.

 

 

**

 

 

Ruth had suggested going sledding before Christmas dinner was ready and everyone had leapt at the idea. Liam had to stay behind for a few minutes to take a work call which had been urgent although he was officially on a break from all work until the New Year. When he was done, he put on his jacket and walked out to the back grounds where he could hear shrieks. Liam climbed to the top of the hill and watched as Zayn was helping Safaa into a sled and then he gave her a gentle push down. Safaa’s excited scream died out in the chilly air as she zoomed down.

 

Liam went up to Zayn and grabbed him quickly to make him jump. Zayn turned around in surprise and grinned at Liam widely. His eyes scrunched and his nose wrinkled in the way Liam adored.

 

“I’m going down next with Mina,” Zayn said.

 

“Okay but give me a kiss first,” Liam said with a smile.

 

“Silly man,” Zayn murmured but he pressed his cold lips to Liam quickly and gave him a smile before he settled into a sled and put Mina into his lap. “Jaan, give us a push?”

 

Liam leaned down and grabbed the edges of the sled. Before he pushed them, he pressed a kiss to Zayn’s cold and flushed cheek. Then he gave them a slight push and they swiftly slid down the snow-covered hill. Zayn’s laughter filled the air along with Mina’s squeal and Liam grinned. They toppled over at the end and Liam’s heart stopped beating for a second but then Zayn and Mina both got up from the snow, amidst laughs, and Liam smiled.

 

“Will you go with me Uncle Li?” Lily was tugging on his jacket and looking at him hopefully. Liam nodded with a smile and adjusted her scarf around her neck. Then he settled into a sled with Lily in his lap and after a push from Ruth they slid down easily. Lily screamed and held onto him tightly but Liam kissed her cheek with a grin and held onto her protectively as they slid to a stop.

 

“Again, again!”

 

**

 

 

“Merry Christmas!”

 

“Merry Christmas guys.”

 

Liam tugged Niall’s parents into a hug at once and squeezed them tightly before he moved back with a smile and looked over their shoulders to see Niall and Ameera enter.

 

“It’s my babies!” Liam said in an exaggerated excited voice.

 

“Hi asshole,” Niall said and tugged him into a hug.

 

“Niall did not miss you at all,” Ameera said sarcastically. “He definitely has not been mentioning you every other minute for the past few days.”

 

“Shut up babe,” Niall rolled his eyes but tugged Ameera in to kiss her head. Liam smiled and hugged Ameera after Niall let her go, leaving a messy kiss on her cheek.

 

“This is who I’ve been excited to meet,” Niall said loudly as they walked into the living room. He walked up to Zayn who was letting Mina and Lily paint his toe nails. “Hi peanut!” Niall engulfed Zayn in a hug and the boy smiled at him.

 

“Hi Niall,” Zayn said with a smile.

 

“You fuckers figured your shit out?” Niall said and squeezed Zayn’s face as he let him go. Zayn nodded with a small smile and Niall kissed his head with a grin before he walked over to Ruth to hug her. Ameera also kissed Zayn’s forehead and hugged hum tightly as she whispered something which Liam couldn’t hear but Zayn was smiling.

 

“Glittery blue Is so your colour baby,” Liam said as he fell down beside Zayn and picked up his painted foot to kiss it.

 

“Thank you Zay!” Lily said and hugged him tightly before she ran off to Ruth to ask her if they could paint her nails.

 

“I need to talk to you about something before we get caught up again,” Zayn whispered to him.

 

“What about?” Liam asked and linked his fingers through Zayn’s so he could lift his hand and kiss it.

 

“Umm… a few bits and bobs,” Zayn murmured.

 

“Bits and bobs? Were you a little old lady in your past life?” Liam teased.

 

“Noooo,” Zayn grumbled and Liam leaned forward with a chuckle and pressed little kisses along the side of Zayn’s face.

 

“Tonight then. There’s a small surprise I have for you and we can talk after that,” Liam said.

 

 

**

 

“Everyone’s out by the fire. We’re going to roast marshmallows and Nicola made hot cocoa.”

 

Zayn nodded at Ruth and gave her a smile as he walked into the kitchen to grab some water. He was walking out of the kitchen when he ran into Ameera.

 

“Zaynie… have you seen a certain fake blonde who I call my boyfriend?” Ameera asked. Zayn laughed and shook his head no. But he gestured to the living room and when they walked in they saw Liam and Niall sitting on the sofa. Niall had his head resting on Liam’s shoulder as they poured over something on Liam’s phone.

 

“Awww, ya’ll make a cute couple,” Ameera teased.

 

“Liam wishes,” Niall joked and tugged Ameera down to kiss her.

 

“We all know what you dream about Ni,” Liam said and smacked Niall’s arm.

 

“We’re meant to be outside,” Zayn announced.

 

“Oh we are, are we?” Liam said with a little smirk. He leaned forward to grab Zayn’s hips and kiss his stomach.  “What if I want to kiss you a little bit?”

 

“Later,” Zayn said with a smile as a blush hit his cheeks.

 

“Aww, look at him blush,” Ameera cooed as she stood up and tugged Niall up too.

 

“Leave him alone Meemz,” Liam said and kissed Zayn before they turned to exit the room. Zayn smiled and squeezed Liam’s hand as they walked outside. The fire in the pit was roaring and everyone was sat on the wooden benches which formed a circle around the fire and roasting marshmallows or drinking cocoa. Liam’s mom called him over to bring in more firewood and he left Zayn with a kiss to go help out. Zayn walked over to the table set on the side to pour himself some cocoa into a cup. He sipped it and shivered as he realized that he had forgotten to wear his jacket.

 

“Beta.” Zayn felt a squeeze on his hand and looked up to see his dad on his side.

 

“Hi Baba,” Zayn said and kissed his dad’s cheek.

 

“You’ve been a stranger these past few days,” Yaser teased.

 

“Sorry Baba. Things have been so- so…” Zayn trailed off with a soft smile.

 

“I know Zayn. And I am so happy that _you_ are happy again. But I can’t help think about how you put yourself into such a dangerous situation because your heart loves someone so deeply,” Yaser started gently. “It worries me that you didn’t choose to seek help but rather took a step that caused you so much trauma.”

 

“I know Baba. But never again. These past few weeks have made me realize how truly awful my decision was. I should have talked to someone, anyone… instead I… I couldn’t help it when someone threatened my whole world,” Zayn whispered.

 

“I know Zayn. And it makes me so angry that someone threatened you like that and took such advantage. But never again do something like that. If not Liam then you can always talk to me about these things. Do not sacrifice yourself and put yourself into danger like that again,” Yaser said sternly.

 

“I promise Baba,” Zayn murmured and hugged his dad.

 

Yaser rubbed his back gently as he spoke. “All I pray for is your health and happiness. I spend sleepless nights praying for you kids and your happy lives. I want you to always be happy Zayn. And the love you share with Liam makes you so happy. It reminds me of the love I share with your mom. And knowing how special that is, I just want to tell you one thing Zayn… never let it go because it will continue to be the most incredible part of your life. You will achieve many things in this life, go many places, maybe even start a family some day. But this love and relationship you two share, this will be the steady rock throughout all of these experiences. It will shape and challenge how you live your life.  This person, your special someone, Liam, he will continue to be your life partner and best friend throughout all your personal success and joint success. Right now, things may seem very fresh and new and I can see the heavy love you hold in your eyes, but just remember, always remember, that this person will be your other half for as long as you want them. And together you can build a life that most people would envy to have.”

 

When Yaser finished saying those words, Zayn felt himself get teary-eyed and he quickly hugged his dad. Those words touched his heart and made it crush with their weight. They rang so true and made Zayn realize with even more fierceness that Liam was definitely his present, his future, his everything. He wanted to have everything with the man. As long as he would have him. Zayn pressed a kiss to his dad’s cheek with a murmured thank you and turned to look for the man who was his entire life and future. He saw Liam leaning against a tree as he talked with Ruth and Niall. Zayn smiled at his dad then he slipped away to walk over to Liam. He walked over to the man and quietly slipped into his arms. Liam seemed surprised at first but when he noticed it was Zayn, he smiled and kissed his head. Zayn shivered and slipped his arms into Liam’s open jacket and wrapped his arms around the man’s torso to get some warmth.

 

“You okay?” Liam murmured into his ear and pressed his lips there.

 

“Mhm. I’m okay. I’m really, really okay,” Zayn whispered and leaned up to kiss Liam. He burrowed himself into Liam’s chest to warm himself up and Liam laughed and wrapped the edges of his jacket around Zayn.

 

“Where’s your jacket angel?” Liam asked.

 

“I dunno,” Zayn sighed out. Liam moved him back a little and took off his jacket before he wrapped it around Zayn. “No jaan, what about you?”

 

“I’m good baby,” Liam said softly and kissed his head. Zayn slipped his arms into the sleeves and Liam tugged the hood up so the fur on the hood covered Zayn’s face. Liam grinned and leaned forward to peck his lips.

 

“Bhaiya can you help me make a s’more?” Safaa asked as she came up to them.

 

“Sure buttercup,” Zayn said. He pecked Liam’s cheek before he took Safaa’s hand and walked away. He sat onto one of the benches beside his mom and tugged Safaa into his lap to help her make a s’more. He looked across the fire as Liam settled onto a bench on the other side between Waliyha and Ameera as he started talking to them.

 

“Liam look what I found,” Nicola walked out of the house carrying a guitar.

 

“Where in God’s name did you find that?” Liam asked with a surprised laugh.

 

“Attic. It’s gotten dusty. The last time you touched this one was when we came out for Christmas seven years ago,” Nicola said with a grin and handed it to him.

 

“You play the guitar?” Waliyha asked Liam in shock.

 

“Kind of. We went to a private high school where it was mandatory to participate in at least one sport and mandatory to learn an instrument. I went with guitar, so did Niall, whereas Nicola learnt the piano and Ruth decided to fuck clichés and went for the trombone which she sucked at,” Liam said.

 

“I did not!” Ruth yelled out from where she sat beside Karen and threw a marshmallow at Liam’s head.

 

“Play something!” Niall hooted.

 

“No way…” Liam laughed. Zayn smiled and wished Liam did play something because he wanted to hear him play. He still continued to find out new things about Liam daily which made him realize how incredible the man was. Zayn had always felt shy about sharing his little passion for playing the piano or signing but with Liam he felt uninhibited now. And with this new discovery, they shared something else.

 

“Play something Liam,” Ameera urged as well. When everyone started chanting ‘play, play, play’ all at once, Liam laughed and held up his hands.

 

“I’m so fucking rusty… but what should I play?” Liam asked.

 

Zayn noticed Safaa lean up beside Liam (and when had she even run over there?) and whisper something in his ear. Liam grinned and ruffled her hair. “Good choice sweetheart but I don’t know how to play that. All though… I did learn something for fun a few weeks back. It may be cheesy but…”

 

“You invented cheesiness,” Niall snorted. Liam gave her a discreet finger and then positioned the guitar in his lap. Zayn waited with anticipation as everyone else did. Everyone had settled onto benches around the fire in silence as they watched Liam.

 

Liam strummed the guitar lightly a few times before he looked up and met Zayn’s eyes across the roaring fire. He smiled brightly like his smile held a secret and then he began playing. Zayn recognized the tune almost at the same time as everyone and he noticed smiles covering people’s faces or small chuckles escaping. Liam was playing Ed Sheeran’s Perfect on the guitar and Zayn felt his insides melt because he was brilliant. And then… and then he began to sing the words and Zayn felt like his world had narrowed and there was just one spotlight on Liam, the focus of his world.

 

 _“I found a love, for me, darling just dive right in, and follow my lead.  Well I found a boy, beautiful and sweet. I never knew you were the someone waiting for me.”_ Liam was singing so beautifully that Zayn felt goosebumps erupt on his skin. And as Liam looked up and smiled at him as he changed the word to ‘boy,’ Zayn felt like he would start crying right there.  

  
_“ 'Cus we were just kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was. I will not give you up this time. But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own. And in your eyes you're holding mine. Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms. Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song. When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath, but you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight.”_ There was a hush over all them and the only sound was the slight rustling of the wind through the trees as a light snowfall fell quietly, and Liam’s voice ringing out melodiously in a way Zayn wouldn’t have expected. And he was absolutely breaking to pieces on the inside as Liam looked at him the entire time while singing and playing the guitar. Liam winked at him while smiling softly and Zayn felt tears rush to his eyes. He gripped his shaky hands in his lap and watched the love of his life sing. Sign for him.

 

 _“Well I found a man, stronger than anyone I know. He shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share his home. I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets. To carry love, to carry children of our own.”_ By now Zayn had tears streaming down his cheeks as Liam sang with a sincerity in his eyes about everything Zayn thought of in his heart, the secrets he was afraid to share and the hopes and dreams he had for them. Liam was ripping through his heart with his words and Zayn felt so any emotions sweep over him but love and happiness were the strongest.

  
_“We are still kids, but we're so in love, fighting against all odds, I know we'll be alright this time. Darling, just hold my hand, be my boy, I'll be your man, I see my future in your eyes,”_ Liam sang clearly as he looked at Zayn with more gravity in his expression. Zayn couldn’t tear his eyes away. They stared at each other through the flames of the fire and Zayn couldn’t even lift a hand to wipe his tears.

 

 _“Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms. Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song. When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful. I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight,”_ Liam’s eyes were a little shiny as he smiled softly at Zayn while singing those words and his head shook slightly as he sang ‘you look perfect’ as if he was awed… but Zayn couldn’t understand by what.

 

 _“Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms. Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song. I have faith in what I see. Now I know I have met an angel in person, and he looks perfect. I don't deserve this, you look perfect tonight,”_ Liam finished singing in a softer voice. His voice had gone especially tender when he had sang ‘I have met an angel in person’ and his eyes had softened even more so while gazing at Zayn. Zayn himself… was a statue. His cheeks were soaking and he couldn’t stop staring at Liam.

 

“Oh my God. Liam you jerk that was beautiful,” Ruth was the first person to whisper. Everyone started clapping and when Zayn felt a hand rub down his back, his frozen stance cracked and he dropped his head into his knees to start crying. Why? He couldn’t understand himself. His body shook as he let his tears and all his emotions spill onto his jeans.

 

“Zaynie,” his mom whispered from beside him. “Why are you crying?”

 

“Kiss him Liam you made him cry!” Niall yelled. Zayn looked up from his knees shakily and saw Liam stand up from his bench. He was smiling and shaking his head a little as he walked to Zayn. Zayn couldn’t see anything but Liam and he dropped the blanket from his lap as he stood up and walked quickly to Liam. He rushed into his chest and everyone around him was chuckling fondly or cooing but he couldn’t care. Liam enveloped him in tight arms and pressed kisses all over his head.

 

“Angel,” Liam murmured and kissed his forehead. “Why are you crying?”

 

“I don’t know,” Zayn said tearfully into his chest. “You sang all those beautiful words, and… and do you really think them too?”

 

“Of course I do. You know I do baby,” Liam whispered and he moved back and cupped Zayn’s face with gentle hands to kiss him. Niall was whistling for some reason but Zayn ignored it all to press himself even further into Liam’s arms.

 

“I love you so much,” Zayn cried quietly.

 

“I love you too Zayn. I love you so fucking much,” Liam murmured. “And now… I need you to come with me.”

 

“Where?” Zayn asked.

 

“The surprise. It’s a short walk from here,” Liam explained. “Trust me?”

 

“Always,” Zayn murmured and leaned up to peck his cheek. “I need to grab something first. Meet you here in two minutes?”

 

“I’ll be down through those trees over there. Don’t worry. It’s safe,” Liam said. Zayn smiled and quickly slipped off Liam’s jacket and handed it back to him so the man wouldn’t be cold. Liam pecked Zayn’s forehead and squeezed his hand with a smile before he left again.

 

Zayn ran inside as he heard Liam tell everyone that they needed to be excused for a bit. Zayn ran up into their bedroom and grabbed the Cartier bracelet and key necklace and put it into his pocket. If they were going to talk, he would ask Liam to put that back on. And then he put on his own jacket and gloves and walked back down. Zayn gave everyone quick smiles as he rushed past them again and Niall waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Zayn smacked him lightly and went down the hill and through the trees to find Liam.

 

 

 

**

 

“Jaan? Liam?”

 

Liam turned around when he heard Zayn’s voice and followed it through the trees. They were still close enough to the house that there weren’t any forest animals out here but he knew it was dark and Zayn didn’t know his way. So he walked towards the boy’s voice and saw him looking around in confusion. Liam smiled and snuck up behind Zayn slowly to grab him around the waist and cover his mouth as the boy inevitably screamed. Liam laughed and kissed his neck as he let Zayn go so he could turn around.

 

“Devil,” Zayn gasped and looked at him with wide spooked eyes. Liam grinned and pushed him back against the tree to capture his lips in a kiss.

 

“Angel,” Liam replied and pushed his tongue into Zayn’s mouth to kiss him dizzy. Zayn moaned softly and wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck tightly. Liam grabbed the backs of his thighs and lifted him up to press him against the tree and kiss him hungrily.

 

“Are we fucking in the wild now like animals?” Zayn giggled between kisses.

 

“Well you turn me into an animal,” Liam teased. Zayn bit his lip playfully and Liam squeezed his ass before deepening the kiss even more.

 

“Your stamina sure as hell seems like one,” Zayn laughed. Liam bit his neck lightly and Zayn giggled harder. “Ow! Jaan!”

“Did I hurt you?” Liam moved back and looked at him worriedly. He thought maybe he had bit Zayn too hard.

 

“No,” Zayn said with a smile and tugged him forward to kiss him again. “I’m just being extra.” Liam grinned but pressed a few gentle kisses to his neck regardless. He then moved away from the tree with Zayn in his arms. He started walking through the forest and Zayn rested his head in the crook of Liam’s neck.

 

“Where are we going?” Zayn asked as he rubbed his cold nose along Liam’s neck.

 

“You’ll see,” Liam replied. Zayn moved back and cupped Liam’s face between his gloved hands and smiled. Liam grinned back at him and Zayn leaned forward to peck his lips.

 

“This is how shitty horror movies with serial killers begin,” Zayn said with a laugh.

 

“I’m highly offended that you think I would do anything similar to _shitty_ horror movies. I would pull off an Oscar worthy performance,” Liam teased back.

 

“Sure babe. Don’t forget that I have vast knowledge on how to escape from a murderer,” Zayn said.

 

“Because you’ve watched every movie in the horror or murder mystery genre to exist?” Liam asked him with a grin.

 

“Yes and I wouldn’t walk into traps like white people usually do in movies,” Zayn said with a grin. Liam started laughing and kissed Zayn. He noticed over Zayn’s shoulder that they had arrived at his surprise setup. He came to a stop and pressed a kiss to Zayn’s temple before he set him down.

 

“Can I turn around?” Zayn asked with a wide smile.

 

“No darling you’re actually meant to go back home now,” Liam jested and Zayn smacked his chest. Liam tugged the boy forward with the edges of his jacket and kissed him deeply before he took Zayn’s shoulders and turned him around. Zayn gasped immediately and stared around with wide eyes. Liam had come down earlier to the clearing by the lake and set up a tent and many torches around it. The opening of the tent showed fur and pillow covered bedding inside, but there was also a setup closer to the lake with blankets and pillows. He had put a board underneath it to create a boundary from the snow. And there was already some firewood waiting in a drum so they could set up a fire.

 

“Jaan,” Zayn murmured and turned around. “This is gorgeous.” He looked teary-eyed again and he edged forward to cup Liam’s face with a smile. “What is it for though?”

 

“For you baby. For us. It’s a little chilly but there’s nothing like spending a night under the stars. And _this_ will be our first official date since we got back together. Not the café,” Liam told him with a smile.

 

“It’s funny how you can still leave me utterly speechless,” Zayn whispered and leaned on his toes to kiss Liam. Liam smiled against his lips and pecked them softly before he deepened the kiss with a flick of his tongue. Zayn sighed into it and Liam started walking him backwards until they reached the mouth of the open tent. They stepped into it while kissing and Zayn broke away for a second to look behind himself.

 

“Fancy,” Zayn chuckled as he took in the copious amounts of soft blankets and pillows on top of a fur bedding. There was also a portable heater in the corner to keep them warm, although Liam knew they wouldn’t be needing it considering where they were headed.

 

“Only the best for my baby,” Liam teased back. Zayn bit his lips on a grin and then he reached forward to push Liam’s jacket off. Liam smiled and gripped his gloved hands to peel them off slowly and then he pressed a kiss to each of Zayn’s fingers. Zayn’s eyes were soft and his cheeks were pinked again. Running his hands up the boy’s arms, Liam pushed his jacket off too, then he tugged Zayn down to fall onto the bedding.

 

“So we _are_ going to fuck out in the woods?” Zayn said between giggles as Liam pulled his boots off and took off his own.

 

“So observant baby,” Liam teased gently.

 

“Don’t-be-rude,” Zayn tugged Liam in for a kiss and said each word between pecks. Then he opened his mouth and Liam slipped his tongue in to tangle with Zayn’s and he relished in his taste. Hot cocoa and something slightly like apples and cinnamon which was probably from the pie earlier. Liam sucked on Zayn’s tongue making the latter whimper in pleasure.

 

“Take this off,” Zayn whispered and tugged on Liam’s sweater.

 

“Antsy?” Liam asked and kissed his forehead.

 

“Well I can’t help it. My man is so incredibly sexy and I just like seeing him shirtless,” Zayn murmured and smiled at Liam innocently although there was a playful flicker in his eyes. Liam grinned and moved back to pull his sweater over his head which made Zayn stutter on a breath. The boy ran his fingers over his lips and watched Liam with dark eyes.

 

“Fuck,” Zayn whispered and pushed his hips up slightly. Zayn licked his lips slowly and his lashes swept along his cheekbones as he regarded Liam. Liam felt electricity run through his veins and he desperately needed Zayn out of his clothes too. Liam peeled off Zayn’s sweater and then he unbuttoned his jeans to take them off his body too. Liam was about to move back up to kiss Zayn when his eyes caught on something glinting around Zayn’s ankle. It was a thin silver anklet that had one tiny charm of a rose on it.

 

“What is this?” Liam asked in a rough voice as for some reason this tiny piece of jewelry on Zayn’s ankle was making his skin heat up more.

 

“Oh, Wali made that for me as a little early Christmas present. She gave it to me a few days ago,” Zayn said with a smile. “It was too loose to be a bracelet to I turned it into an anklet. Is it nice?”

 

“You look really hot with this. I didn’t think a small piece of jewellery was capable of turning me on so much,” Liam grinned at him and pressed a kiss to Zayn’s ankle, above the anklet. 

 

“Well I’m glad,” Zayn smiled back and grabbed Liam by his necklace to tug him down for a kiss. They melted into one another and when Zayn urged him to remove his jeans as well, Liam did so quickly and then wrapped his arms around Zayn’s body to kiss him again.

 

Not long after they were both without the last pieces of cloth between them and kissing breathlessly and passionately. Liam used the lube he had stashed under the pillows to open Zayn up slowly and teasingly like he didn’t have a chance to do so a few nights back. Zayn had his head thrown back with cries escaping his red mouth when Liam finally eased into his body. They moved together with their eyes locked and their lips pressing soft kisses to each other’s mouths, their skins slick with sweat. Liam used his hand to bring Zayn to his climax and the boy came first with a loud cry followed by Liam who muffled it in Zayn’s hair. They cleaned themselves up with one of the sheets and tossed it aside.

 

They lay tangled in the fur blanket afterwards with their heads directed to the opening of the tent. Liam peered up and saw that snow was still falling lightly. He looked down at Zayn who was in his comatose state and he pressed a kiss to the boy’s sweaty forehead. Zayn hummed in happiness and curled further into Liam’s chest as he shivered. The chilly air on their sweaty skin was making their bodies shiver more than normal. Liam kissed Zayn’s lips and slipped away quickly to put on his pants and light the fire outside their tent to create some more warmth. He came back inside to see Zayn wrapped up in the blankets and giving Liam a lazy, sated smile.

 

“Hi angel,” Liam murmured as he got back under the covers and pulled Zayn into his chest.

 

“Hi jaan,” Zayn replied and nuzzled his chest before planting a kiss there. The boy looked pensive and Liam rubbed a hand along his hip.

 

“What’s going on in here?” Liam asked and tapped a finger on Zayn’s forehead.

 

“Wondering if I ruined something so badly a few months ago that you wouldn’t want to be associated with it anymore,” Zayn replied quietly.

 

“What?” Liam asked in confusion as he had no idea what Zayn was talking about.

 

Zayn looked hesitant but then he slowly sat up to pull his jeans towards himself and he dug out something from inside. Liam recognized it immediately and his heart lurched. The Cartier bracelet and key necklace. The last time he had seen that was when he unlocked it from Zayn’s arm and told the boy to keep it. He had brought it along with many other things to Liam’s office shortly after to return it but the idea of taking back the things he had bought out of love hurt so much that he had told Zayn to take it back, burn it or destroy it, whatever he wanted. But he would never take them back. And now, something that he had considered the symbol of their love was back in front of his eyes.

 

“I don’t know if this will make you think of ugly times, but I really want to wear this again, and have you wear the key. This is the first piece of jewellery you gave me and it signifies so much that even taking it off when we broke up shattered me to pieces. Now that we’re back together… I want to wear it again, but only if you put it on me and you’re okay with it,” Zayn explained in a whisper.

 

“Zayn…” Liam whispered softly. He tugged the boy forward and pressed kisses all over his head. Zayn buried his face in his chest and Liam ran his hand down the boy’s arm to his hand and pried it open to retrieve the bracelet and necklace. He took the bracelet and unlocked it with the key before he picked up Zayn’s wrist with the ‘Liam’ tattoo and pressed a kiss on it before he closed the bracelet around it. Zayn smiled tearfully at him and then he took the key necklace to close it around Liam’s neck. Zayn pressed a kiss over his heart and Liam tugged him down onto the bed to kiss him breathless.

 

“I want to be yours and you to be mine, for as long as you’ll have me. And never again do I want us to be apart, so baby I would be honoured if you wore this bracelet. I have absolutely no bad memories associated with it. Nothing but my love for you. And thank you for letting me back into your heart and for giving me the key to you heart,” Liam said with a smile. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too. I love you more. I love you always,” Zayn murmured back and leaned up for a kiss. They melted into one another again and Liam felt that there had never been a night more perfect than this. And he didn’t want to let go of Zayn or leave this beautiful exterior to go back. He could stay in this moment forever if possible.

 

**

 

 

There was a loud chirping sound that was going on incessantly and Zayn opened one eye to look around and see why there was a bird in his room. Except it wasn’t his room. He was inside a tent. Zayn smiled to himself and peered over at the zipped-up door of the tent which was keeping out the wind. The portable heater had kept them quite warm all night too. Zayn turned over and stared at Liam’s face. He loved watching him when he was asleep and mapping out the little details on the man’s face and body which he loved fiercely. He touched the faint freckles across Liam’s nose that faded even more in the winter. Then he touched the birthmark on his neck and pressed a kiss to it.

 

“What are you doing?” Zayn pulled back to see that Liam hadn’t opened his eyes but he was smiling.

 

“Admiration isn’t a crime meri jaan,” Zayn said with a soft laugh.

 

“I know that more than anyone angel,” Liam said and blinked open his eyes. Zayn felt breathless as he looked into their chocolatey brown colour. “I admire you every second of my existence.”

 

“Well I’m a fool for you and your gorgeous face,” Zayn mumbled and wrapped his arms around Liam to tuck his face into his neck. He gasped a little as Liam quickly rolled over to press Zayn into the blankets and kiss all over his face.

 

“Want to watch the sunrise?” Liam asked and pecked his lips. Zayn nodded with a grin and they put on their jackets and boots (their clothes had been put back on last night to stay warm) to leave the warmth of their little tent and step outside. Zayn breathed in the crisp air and felt a smile cover his face. It was so serene. They walked hand in hand to the little setup by the lake and fell onto the blanket to watch the sun rise over the lake.

 

“This is heaven on earth,” Zayn said softly and leaned his head on Liam’s shoulder. Liam hummed in agreement and kissed his head as they watched the sky turn from shades of pink and purple to gold.

 

“Everyone must be worried since we didn’t return,” Zayn mused.

 

“No we’re fine. I told them before we came out here,” Liam replied.

 

“Oh so you knew you’d be getting some ass huh?” Zayn looked up at him with a grin.

 

“Don’t act like you didn’t want me to. You love me inside you baby,” Liam said with a small smirk.

 

“Spoken like a true top,” Zayn giggled and Liam’s mouth fell open a little before his eyes glinted and he grinned. He grabbed Zayn and kissed him messily which made Zayn laugh harder.

 

“You’re a smartass aren’t you?” Liam asked with a grin.

 

“Yeah. But I love being under you and feeling you inside me and that’s the truth,” Zayn whispered back and kissed Liam.

 

“I love you in any and every which way that you want,” Liam murmured and kissed Zayn’s head. “Now shall we go back?”

 

“Yes please. I’m starving,” Zayn groaned and stood up. As he stretched, his shirt and jacket rode up exposing his stomach and Liam tickled his fingers across it.

 

“You can go on without me, it’s straight up the path. I have to pack all this up,” Liam said.

 

“Nonsense jaan. I’ll stay and help first,” Zayn said. Liam kissed him and they worked together to put down the tent and gather the blankets and pillows. They left the torches and fire pit which Liam said he’d gather later and they walked back with everything else. They reached the back of the house and Liam dumped the things in the small storage shed at the back before they walked in.

 

“The rabbits are back,” Niall called out as he spotted them from the small lounge to the side of the back entrance.

 

“Rabbits?” Zayn questioned.

 

“Rabbits are always fucking. You know,” Niall said with a grin and hummed generic porn music.

 

“Gross,” Zayn said with a wrinkle of his nose and walked away to the kitchen as Liam fell down beside Niall. The kitchen was bustling with activity as breakfast was being prepared and ate simultaneously.

 

“Where have you been?” Waliyha asked with a smirk as Zayn kissed his mom’s cheek and settled on the table.

 

“Camping,” Zayn replied.

 

“Are you sure?” Waliyha snickered and prodded at his neck. Zayn slapped her hand away and leaned his hand against his neck to cover his hickey.

 

“Help yourself to breakfast Zayn,” Karen said and squeezed his shoulder as she passed by him.

 

Zayn poured himself a pile of food and sat back at the table to shove a large bite of scrambled eggs into his mouth. Extensive lovemaking with zero food really did a number on his stomach. He checked his phone for the first time since last night and saw a few texts from Harry. The boy had messaged him early morning and was letting him know that he was getting on the plane and would be there by noon. Louis had also agreed to come and he was with Harry. Zayn smiled because he had missed both the boys and looked forward to spending time with them here, away from campus which is where they had spent every day the past few months.

 

“Is Liam a vampire?” Zayn looked up to see Ruth was staring at him with a grin. She pointed at his neck which Zayn realized he had exposed while reading his messages and he blushed.

 

“No. I just… I have very sensitive skin,” Zayn mumbled because his parents were close by.

 

“Sure,” Ruth said with a wink. Zayn flushed harder and stared down at his food which he continued to inhale because his stomach was grumbling. When Zayn was finished, he added some seconds and then grabbed a cup of coffee before he wandered over to the lounge where Liam was watching a football game with Niall, Evan and Amir. Zayn settled in beside him and handed him the plate of food and coffee with a smile.

 

Liam grinned at him in appreciation and kissed him. “Thank you, angel.” Zayn leaned against his side as he looked over to the TV and realized they were watching an old game. In fact it was Liam’s old game.

 

“Is that you?” Zayn asked with a grin.

 

“Yeah, my parents love to keep recorded version of my old games for some reason,” Liam shook his head and smiled a little. “Niall put this on.”

 

“It’s a good game. You won the Super Bowl!” Niall exclaimed. “Hey… we should play a little football. There’s so many of us here it’ll be fun.”

 

“it’s snowing outside,” Evan stated and pushed aside the curtain to show Niall.

 

“Yeah but it’s light. The ground is mostly flat now and it’s not slippery. Running in a few centimetres of snow won’t kill us,” Niall said with a pointed look.

 

“I think it sounds good,” Liam added. “We’ll play when everyone winds down from breakfast.”

 

“Liam, Harry and Louis’ flight will be here in an hour or so. Can we go pick them up?” Zayn asked.

 

“Of course,” Liam said. “Okay I’m gonna go to the airport with Zayn and when we get back we’ll play.”

 

“Losing team pays for drinks tonight. We should go out,” Niall said.

 

“And not just one round,” Liam challenged.

 

“You don’t have to be worried Liam! You’re gonna win for obvious reasons,” Amir said with a laugh.

 

“Well,” Liam shrugged his shoulders but he was grinning. Niall threw a pillow at him and Liam tossed it back before he got up from the sofa and looked at his watch.

 

“We should leave for the airport now because traffic will be insane,” Liam said. Zayn nodded and followed him out. When they were getting ready to go, the three little girls saw them leaving and started crying asking to go with. Liam relented eventually and they had to take the seven seater SUV to fit everyone including Louis and Harry. The ride there consisted of Fifth Harmony and Justin Bieber songs which the little girls asked for and Zayn sang along with them while Liam watched them in amusement.

 

When they got to the airport Liam offered to go into the arrival area and pick the two boys up while Zayn waited with the little girls in the car park because it was absolute madness in the airport and taking three little kids in would be a bad idea. It took about 45-60 minutes before they returned and Zayn felt frazzled because Mina and Lily, being younger, got antsy and started asking to go the bathroom. When Louis and Harry arrived, Zayn bounced out of the car to attack them with hugs and they hugged him back tightly and covered him with kisses. Everyone piled into the car and Liam had to stop at a McDonalds so the kids could use the bathroom and then they demanded fries as well.

 

When they finally got home, Zayn ushered the little ones into the living room where they finally collapsed, ready for naps. Then he showed Louis and Harry to their room to put away their stuff and brought them down to introduce them to Liam’s family. Everyone ate lunch since it was ready and then Niall reminded them of their football game. The kids were napping and the parents decided to watch from the back porch as everyone else gathered on the ground to play. Liam emerged with a football and set up the end zones along with Evan’s help.

 

 “Okay. We need to decide on captains so they can pick teams,” Niall announced. “Liam?”

 

“Let’s just do numbers,” Liam replied.

 

They got Karen to think of a number for them and the two who got the closest to her number ended up being Niall and Ameera. Everyone started laughing and Ameera grinned at Niall.

 

“You’re going down babe,” she said.

 

“We’ll see,” Niall replied and grinned at her. They did rock papers scissors and Ameera got first pick. She turned around with a smirk.

 

“Liam!” Ameera shouted.

 

“No!” Niall yelled. “How is that fair?”

 

“How would it be fair if you chose Liam?” Ameera grinned. Liam went up to her and high-fived her before he pulled her into a hug.

 

“Sorry Ni,” Liam said with a smirk.

 

“Oh, both of you can fuck off straight to hell,” Niall said as he flipped them off. “And to get my revenge, I’m gonna steal Liam’s boyfriend.” Niall tugged Zayn over by the arm and Zayn stared at him with wide eyes.

 

“Umm... Niall I’m not the best at football. You should have chosen Louis, he plays on the NYU football team. Or even Amir Bhai, he’s good too,” Zayn whispered.

 

“Well can you run fast?” Niall asked and when Zayn nodded, Niall patted his back. “Good. You’ll also be my weapon against Liam.” Zayn looked over at Liam and gave the man a small smile who in turn winked at him.

 

“Evan,” Ameera called out.

 

“Louis,” Niall said and gave the boy a fist bump when he joined them. They continued choosing until Harry, Nicola and Doniya ended up on Ameera’s team, and Amir, Waliyha and Ruth on Niall’s. The game started and when Liam scored a touchdown within two minutes, Zayn stared at the other team, stunned, as Liam hugged Ameera and spun her around.

 

“Huddle!” Niall yelled out and when they all walked over to him he shook his head with a glare at the other team. “Listen to me, Liam is the main problem. We need to take that sneaky fuck down.”

 

“Kinda difficult since he played professionally,” Louis said.

 

“Don’t think like that. You play college football, we need you,” Niall said. “Liam and Ameera cannot win this. Especially Liam, that bastard won’t let me live this down. He has weak spots, he is not the best at everything.”

 

“I beg to differ,” Zayn raised his hand and said.

 

“Are you his personal cheerleader or something?” Niall asked with a glare.

 

“Wow, you really get into football don’t you. Do you and Liam have like some Ross and Monica from Friends rivalry with football?” Zayn asked with a laugh.

 

“They’re both competitive as fuck when they’re on opposing teams. And just as obnoxious if they’re together. Last year’s Thanksgiving, we all played football and Liam and Niall were captains and by the end there was bleeding going on,” Ruth said with a roll of her eyes.

 

“Okay can we keep the small talk for later? Zayn, for your snarky comments I need you to go up against Liam,” Niall said. “When he has the ball, I need you to distract him somehow until one of us comes in to get it.”

 

“That’s cheating,” Zayn said.

 

“Don’t be a goody-goody. You’re on my team. Don’t get mushy for Liam right now,” Niall said.

 

Zayn sighed and gave Niall a tiny glare. “What do I do?” Niall smiled and explained what they all needed to do.

 

“Hurry up guys! Why spend so much time making plans when you’re gonna lose anyways?” Liam yelled from the other end.

 

“Suck my dick Payno!” Niall yelled back.

 

“The sheer idea gives me the opposite of a boner!” Liam laughed.

 

When they met in the middle, Liam grinned at Zayn. “Hi baby.”

 

“Don’t flirt with my team members. Keep your dick ten feet away,” Niall warned.

 

“Oh shut up already Niall,” Ameera said and smacked his arm. “Let’s go.”

 

 They started the game again and this time when Liam was running to the end zone, Zayn ran past him and pretended to trip like Niall had instructed him and Liam quickly stopped to run over to him.

 

“Baby! You okay?” Liam said with concern in his eyes. Zayn didn’t waste a second and quickly grabbed the ball from Liam and ran away.

 

“Sorry jaan!” Zayn yelled. He saw Liam looking at him in shock and Evan was rushing towards him so he quickly threw it to Niall who caught it and ran faster before he tossed it to Louis who made a touchdown. They cheered and rushed to high-five each other as everyone on the other team started yelling.

 

“That’s cheating!” Ameera yelled.

 

“No it’s not! What happened? Zayn tripped over his feet a little bit and Liam got himself distracted and slowed down, it’s not like Zayn was even injured. If you want to blame something, blame Liam’s lack of resolve when it comes to Zayn,” Niall grinned at them.

 

Zayn smiled and looked over at Liam who was walking towards him as he shook his head and grinned. “You’re a sneaky little thing aren’t you?” Liam said and quickly caught Zayn to tug him up in his arms. Zayn squeaked out a gasp and Liam kissed his neck before he set him down.

 

“Don’t touch my prize player,” Niall said and tugged Zayn away from Liam. “1-1 assholes.”

 

Zayn was walking away when he looked over at Liam and the man was walking backwards as he pointed his two fingers at his own eyes and then pointed them to Zayn while mouthing ‘I’m watching you.’ Zayn just grinned and stuck his tongue out before he turned back to his own team. They continued to play until they were 3-3 and it was starting to get colder outside.

 

“Okay whoever makes the next one wins!” Ruth called out. “My ass is freezing now!” They started again and Niall was running to make a winning touchdown when he was surrounded and he threw it to Zayn since he was the closest. Zayn panicked and started running towards the end zone when he saw Liam running towards him at lighting speed. He screamed as Liam tackled him.

 

“Hi angel. Remember when you tricked me before? This is revenge,” Liam said with a grin. Zayn watched flabbergasted as Liam took the ball and ran away to make a touchdown, winning the game. Ameera ran and threw her arms around Liam to hug him. Harry dived on them and soon their team was in a group hug. Zayn felt disappointed and he looked over to Niall with a sigh. But the man was giving him a small smile and he helped Zayn up.

 

“I’m sorry Niall. I should have been faster. I lost us the game,” Zayn murmured.

 

“No you didn’t peanut. You played excellently. I couldn’t have made the third touchdown without your assistance. You were really good. Don’t put yourself down if we didn’t get the winning one. Liam’s a dick and we knew he’d win,” Niall said with a laugh.

 

“Well I guess drinks on us?” Louis said with a breathless laugh as he walked over to them and hugged Zayn.

 

“I’ll get them all guys, don’t worry,” Niall said and patted Louis’ back. “You guys were an excellent team.”

 

“Ready to pay for my gin and tonics all night babe,” Ameera said as she jumped on Niall’s back with a grin and kissed his cheek.

 

“I don’t know you,” Niall retorted. Zayn smiled at their banter and then jumped a little when he felt arms wrap around his waist as well. He smiled softly when he felt a kiss get pressed to the nape of his neck. Liam turned him around and cupped his face with a wide smile.

 

“I’m so sorry about that baby. Did I hurt you?” Liam asked as he leaned forward to press tender kisses across Zayn’s face.

 

“A little bit. I think I hit my head hard,” Zayn joked. But he saw worry flood Liam’s eyes and he smiled and shook his head. “I’m joking. No physical harm but some emotional harm because I was about to make the winning touchdown and you stole the ball.”

 

Liam chuckled and nipped his lip lightly before he kissed him. “All is fair in love and war… and football. Next time you’ll be on my team.”

 

“I should hope so,” Zayn said with a grin and wound his arms around Liam’s neck to kiss him.

 

“The sun is setting so how about we go into town for dinner and there’s a great bar where Niall can buy us drinks,” Liam said as he smacked Niall’s arm with a grin.

 

“You get one beer,” Niall said.

 

“We’ll see. Let’s meet out front in twenty minutes,” Liam called out. Everyone agreed and went to their rooms to get dressed and then met out front. Doniya, Nicola and their husbands stayed back because the little ones were waking up and they would bother their grandparents if left alone. The rest of them got into cars and went to a restaurant in town where the owners knew the Paynes and gave them all a private room in the back.

 

Once dinner was over they walked through town for a bit before they found the bar Liam had mentioned and they settled into a booth. As Zayn was taking off his jacket he noticed something and laughed a little.

 

“Guys it’s a karaoke bar,” Zayn said as he sat beside Liam.

 

“I dare you to get up there,” Waliyha said. She pouted as she was handed a coke instead of something alcoholic.

 

“I don’t think so,” Zayn replied quickly but Liam was smiling at him.

 

“You’d end everyone in here,” Liam said with a grin and kissed his head.

 

“Okay. I know,” Ameera said with a sinister smile. “I propose that all of us have to get up there and sing a song. Come on, we’re going to be gone by New Years and we won’t see these people ever again. I say we all take a leap and embarrass ourselves. Today was a good day and this will be a fun end.”

 

“I agree!” Harry exclaimed. Everyone was nodding along and Zayn felt some anxiety roll through his stomach. But he didn’t want to be the only one not participating so he gave a small smile and nodded.

 

“Okay. I’ll go first,” Niall said and drank half of his beer before he got up. They all cheered him on as he walked over to the stage and said something to the person who controlled the music. The man nodded and Niall went on to grab the mic.

 

“This one is for you babe,” Niall called out and pointed to Ameera. She grinned and rolled her eyes fondly. The music for ‘Shape of You’ by Ed Sheeran began and they all cheered for Niall as he began singing. He came over to the booth and sang right to Ameera who got up to join him and dance with him. They finished to cheers from the entire bar and they did full bows at the front of the stage. Niall kissed Ameera before he left and she took the mic.

 

Ameera winked at Niall before she chose her song and turned to face the crowd. She began singing ‘No Diggity’ by Blackstreet and everyone hooted and cheered even louder for her. Her combination of singing it perfectly and dancing along with it made the entire bar cheer for her and Zayn could see people looking at her in appreciation, a few guys near the bar in more than appreciation. The bar was even more crowded by now and Zayn watched as Ruth and Waliyha took their turn together since Waliyha was nervous and they sang ‘Bootylicious’ by Destiny’s Child. Zayn cheered loudly as they finished and the applause was loud as well.

 

Louis went next and sang ‘I Want it That Way’ by the Backstreet Boy and that made everyone in the bar go wild and start singing along with him since it was such a classic. Louis came over to the booth and they all sang along with him and danced as well. Zayn could see more and more people coming in just because of the entertainment and people were standing near the bar as well since the seats had run out. His hands were sweating like crazy. The true entertainment came when Harry performed ‘Buttons’ by Pussycat Dolls and people’s cheers were deafening. Zayn screamed loudly for his best friend as he slayed the entire song and dance on stage. Harry had perfected the choreography years ago and even taught it to Zayn but Zayn was too nervous to join him. That didn’t matter to Harry who ran up to Zayn and dragged him on stage with pleading eyes. Zayn got red in the face and looked over to their booth where Liam was cheering loudly. Harry gave his hand a squeeze and Zayn smiled and kept his gaze focused on Liam as he danced along to the song with Harry.

 

Eventually Zayn couldn’t even feel much anxiety because he was having so much fun and people’s cheers was motivating him. He danced along to the chorus with Harry and they ended up in front of the booth and as Harry danced for Louis, Zayn put Liam’s hand on his shirt and danced in front of him. Liam grinned and ran his hand down Zayn’s chest who winked at him. Zayn smiled and spun around with Harry so they could finish the dance and song together. When it was over the applause was loud and Harry and Zayn hugged each other tightly. Niall was standing and cheering for them and Zayn fell back into the booth with a flush, nervous with all the eyes on him.

 

“Liam’s turn,” Ameera said. Liam grinned and kissed Zayn’s head before he went over to the stage. He was going through his options and then he selected one and looked over at their table to wink at Zayn. Liam took the mic and Zayn smiled as Justin Timberlake’s ‘Rock Your Body’ began and Liam began singing and dancing. Zayn almost melted because Liam was perfect. Zayn could almost feel himself getting aroused like the time Liam had stripped at CeCe’s.

 

People were cheering so loudly and Zayn could see a table of girls near the front cheering especially loudly and Liam grinned at them as he sang the chorus. Zayn felt a little annoyed at the girls staring down his boyfriend but Liam spun around and walked right over to them. Zayn flushed as Liam stopped right in front of him and sang directly to him. He then jumped on the table to dance and sing up there. Zayn laughed and cheered loudly along with everyone else. Liam not only sang so well, but he danced so well too and Zayn felt heat in his cheeks. When Liam finished, the applause was thunderous and Zayn cheered loudly. Liam jumped down and kissed him as he fell back into the booth. Zayn smiled and hugged him tightly as he kissed back. There were many eyes on Liam right now but his stomach warmed as his heart chanted ‘this man is all mine.’

 

“Your turn Zayn,” Ruth urged with a wide grin.

 

“But I did that thing with Harry,” Zayn said slowly.

 

‘That does not count. You joined halfway through and you need to sing your own,” Louis pointed out,

 

“But –”

 

“No buts. Don’t deprive us of your voice,” Ruth said. Zayn sighed and looked at Liam worriedly who kissed him and gave him a look that said ‘don’t do it if you’re not okay.’ But Zayn smiled lightly and kissed his cheek before he went up. There were eyes on him as he went through the list of songs and he chose one that made him smile. Zayn cleared his throat and held the mic tightly as he looked over at Liam who shot him an encouraging smile. As the music started Zayn heard cheers and he saw Liam laughing.

 

“Zaynie!” Harry shouted.

 

Zayn smiled and began to sing. _“Oh yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. Never had much faith in love or miracles._ _Never wanna put my heart on the line. But swimming in your water is something spiritual. I'm born again every time you spend the night.”_ He grinned at Liam who was hooting and cheering loudly for him.

 

“Yeah baby!” Liam cheered for him.

 

Zayn laughed and pointed right at Liam as he sang the chorus. _“’Cause your sex takes me to paradise, yeah your sex takes me to paradise. And it shows, yeah, yeah, yeah. 'Cause you make me feel like, I've been locked out of heaven, for too long, for too long. Yeah you make me feel like, I've been locked out of heaven, for too long, for too long.”_ He grinned widely as he sang the lyrics right to Liam who put his fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly and grinned at Zayn. Everyone else was screaming for him too and Zayn laughed.

 

 _“You bring me to my knees. You make me testify. You can make a sinner change his ways. Open up your gates 'cause I can't wait to see the light. And right there is where I wanna stay,”_ Zayn sang with a grin and Liam shook his head with fond as he laughed. They were all standing on their feet as they cheered Zayn on. As the chorus came up again, Zayn crooked his finger to beckon Liam to the stage. Liam grinned and walked over and jumped on to the stage. He lifted Zayn up and spun him around a little as he kissed his head. Zayn squealed a little but continued to sing as Liam set him down and held his hand.

 

 _“ 'Cause your sex takes me to paradise, yeah your sex takes me to paradise. And it shows, yeah, yeah, yeah. 'Cause you make me feel like, I've been locked out of heaven, for too long, for too long. Yeah you make me feel like, I've been locked out of heaven. For too long, for too long.”_ Zayn swayed a little and grinned cheekily at Liam as he sang the chorus. Liam took his hand and spun him around and when he pulled Zayn back into his chest he kissed his forehead and Zayn could hear their friends cheering even louder along with the whole bar. As Zayn sang the chorus for the last time he wrapped his arms around Liam and looked right into his eyes with a smile. Liam was smiling widely at him as well and he stroked his thumb across Zayn’s jaw. When he finished, he hugged Liam tightly and the man lifted him off his feet.

 

“Zaynie!” All their friends were whistling and cheering and Zayn grinned into Liam’s shoulder.

 

“You beat each and every single person in here,” Liam said with a laugh as he set him down.

 

“No I didn’t,” Zayn flushed and smiled back.

 

“Yes you did baby!” Liam laughed and pulled him in to kiss him. When they walked back to the booth everyone pulled him into hugs and Zayn couldn’t help but grin.

 

“That was fucking incredible!” Ameera exclaimed.

 

“Thank you,” Zayn replied with a smile.

 

“If this was X-Factor you would have won,” Ruth added.

 

“No way,” Zayn murmured and tucked himself into Liam’s side. He picked up his ice water and gulped it down.

 

“You’re brilliant angel,” Liam said and kissed his head. Zayn blushed and hid his smile in Liam’s arm. Behind him the girls from the front booth who had been ogling Liam were singing the Spice Girls ‘Wannabe’ and Zayn couldn’t hide his grin. These past few days had been filled with more happiness than he had experienced overall in the past few months. He relished in it and wished in his heart that his life always remained like this.

 

 

**

 

“The Vegas hotel and casino is hopefully going to have its grand opening by late 2018 sometime. It’s mostly on track now after we recovered from the arson damages.”

 

 Liam was sat in the living room beside his own dad, Niall’s dad and Zayn’s dad as they talked about business. Tricia, Karen and Maura had taken the three youngest with them to town and everyone else was spread across the ground in front of Liam playing a game of cards. He had walked in only ten minutes ago after finishing a phone call and the game was already underway. He had ended up joining the older men on the couch for coffee and conversation. Liam smiled at Zayn who was arguing with Harry currently and his cheeks were flushed. What added a comedic contrast to his frustration was the fact that he wore a flower crown made of white roses, green vine and fake holly berry.

 

Earlier in the day Zayn, Harry, Waliyha and the three little ones had made flower crowns by hand. While the little girls were only allowed glue to stick flowers onto a vine, Zayn and the other two had actually used thread and needle to stitch together flowers into the most intricate and gorgeous crowns Liam had ever seen. It highlighted the golden specks in his eyes and he looked pretty damn good. Beautiful.

 

Liam heard some shouts and realized Ruth had won the game which was making Nicola argue with her about cheating or something. The argument turned into Niall suggesting they play for money and within two minutes they had agreed to play poker.

 

“Liam, wanna play?” Niall shouted.

 

“No I’ll sit it out.” Liam waved him off since he wasn’t in the mood to play due to a slight headache after a phone call with his contractor in Vegas.

 

“Good. I don’t wanna lose my money,” Ruth teased and Liam gave her the finger.

 

“Count yourself lucky Ruthie,” Liam said with a grin. They dragged a coffee table to the center of the room while Niall retrieved the chips to play with. As everyone sat around it, Zayn sat down right in front of Liam’s legs to face the table, and he looked up to shoot the man a smile. Liam squeezed his face fondly and leaned down to peck his forehead.

 

“You can help me,” Zayn whispered.

 

“No! No utilizing Liam for help. You’ll win that way,” Ameera said with a tiny glare.

 

“That’s pointless Meemz. Zayn is actually every good at poker. He’ll kick your asses,” Liam said with a snort.

 

“Well you better not help him anyways,” Ameera said.

 

“Okay. Dollar minimum. Get your cash ready ladies and gents,” Evan said and started shuffling cards.

 

“Wait! With what money?” Waliyha looked around worriedly.

 

“Use your Christmas money Wali,” Harry said.

 

“I used it already,” Waliyha lamented.

 

“I need cash too,” Zayn said. Liam watched as Zayn and Waliyha made eye contact and then they both turned to their dad but Waliyha was faster.

 

“Baba! I need your wallet,” Waliyha shouted and scrambled over to Yaser. He gave her a small smile and shake of his head and handed her his wallet before warning her to not lose all his money.

 

Zayn sighed and turned around a little to look at Liam. He smiled softly and climbed into the man’s lap to give him a sweet smile. “Jaan… can I borrow a teensy bit of money to play poker?”

 

Liam chuckled and rubbed a thumb over Zayn’s chin before pecking his lisps. “Of course you can. My wallet is upstairs.”

 

 Zayn grinned and kissed him as a thank you before he ran up the stairs. He returned shortly with Liam’s wallet and dropped into his lap instead of sitting on the ground. “Ha! I’ve got my boyfriend’s wallet and I can definitely play now!”

 

“Boo!” Niall shouted with his hands cupped around his mouth. “You’ve got the backing of a billionaire, that gives you more leverage with money.”

 

“Oh shut up Niall. Your privileged ass has enough money to play,” Ameera said and smacked his head. “Let’s play.”

 

Zayn turned around to Liam and kissed his cheek lightly. “I’ll pay you back. I promise.”

 

“And I won’t take it,” Liam replied. “Don’t be silly baby. What’s mine is yours you know.”

 

“Well I’ll try to win so you get your money back regardless,” Zayn said.

 

“What you win is yours,” Liam told him with a kiss.

 

Zayn smiled and turned back to his game. Liam started up another conversation with Zayn’s dad so he barely paid attention to the game other than when Zayn sprung up from his lap every now and then to cheer or shout. After a while Liam noticed it was just down to Zayn and Niall and everyone was watching them silently. Liam watched as Zayn smiled a little and laid out his cards. Straight flush.

 

“Read ‘em and weep,” Zayn said with a grin.

 

“Oh fuck off,” Niall groaned and dropped his head. Everyone cheered for Zayn and the boy jumped up to do a happy dance. Liam grinned at Zayn as he bounced happily.

 

Nicola rubbed Zayn’s back in congratulations. “Well Zayn what will you do with your $500?”

 

“I’m not sure,” Zayn shrugged.

 

“Zayn didn’t even keep the $12,000 he won when he joined us for a poker game in the summer,” Niall said.

 

“It wasn’t mine so I felt wrong keeping it. I told Liam to just donate it,” Zayn said with a shrug.

 

“What idiot doesn’t keep $12,000?” Waliyha exclaimed. Zayn threw a chip at her head before he turned around to smile at Liam. Liam took him by the waist and pulled him into his lap to kiss the boy. Zayn’s flower crown got jostled a little and Liam fixed it with a smile before kissing him again.

 

“Anyone up for skiing?” Louis said.

 

“Me,” Ruth said and got up.

 

“Yeah. Let’s go,” Liam said and stood up as Zayn did too.

 

“Zayn, wanna bet $500 for whoever gets to the bottom of the hill faster,” Niall said.

 

“No,” Zayn laughed. “You have years of skiing experience and I barely just learnt.”

 

“Excuses!” Niall shouted as everyone made their way out of the room to get dressed to go ski.

 

 

 

**

 

 

“Ten minutes to the new year!”

Liam moved through every room in the house looking for the one person he wanted to be with as midnight struck. Everyone else was in the living room where they had the TV on to announce the countdown and they were eating, some were drinking and waiting for the New Year to begin. Zayn had been by his side for most of the evening but he had disappeared about ten minutes ago. Liam ascended the stairs to look for him and went to their bedroom. He didn’t find him there and just when he was about to head downstairs again, he felt a cool breeze and went down the hall to where the doors to the upper balcony were. Liam stepped up to the doors to close them, thinking that someone had accidentally left them open, and spotted Zayn outside. Liam smiled and was about to call out to him when he heard a low murmur and realized that Zayn was talking. Liam stepped forward quietly and peered to the side, wondering if someone was there, but they boy was alone. He was standing by the railing with his hands folded in front of himself as he gazed up at the sky. Then he realized Zayn was speaking to himself.

 

“… realize that this year was the toughest year of my life. I applied to college and got into my first choice and then had to take the massive step of leaving home, my sanctuary, to move into a new place. I took a big leap outside my comfort zone and took the internship at Liam’s company this summer. And Liam… Ya Allah, Liam…” Zayn was crying softly and he rubbed his eyes. “This year, the biggest change and addition into my life was Liam. The person and life event I am most grateful for is Liam. Thank you for bringing him into my life. Thank you for bringing this love I have with him into my life. You put him into my life and gave me my entire world in that instant. I feel grateful for this. So, so grateful. Even the time we spent apart was a part of this crazy circus we call life and I am no longer bitter about that. You always have a greater plan and we’re back stronger than ever. I never want to let this man go, Allah. I want to be with him for the rest of my days. I want to marry him someday. Have children with him someday. And if that is a part of your plan for me, I will wait for it. If Liam will have me, I will build a life with him. Thank you for this second chance at our love and I will never let it go. I hope this new year is even better than last year and things only continue to get better. I also want to thank you for bringing me closer to my dreams of med school. In four years from now I hope to be in med school and inshallah I will get there too. Thank you for my wonderful family and friends. Thank you for all that you gave me in the past year. I love you.”

 

 

Liam’s heart was doing things that made it feel like it was being squeezed in an iron fist. How was it possible that someone like Zayn existed and he was Liam’s to love? He was in such a vulnerable moment as he poured his heart out and thanked God for all the blessings in his life. While most people might have laughed at him, Liam fell in love with him even more in that moment. Zayn loved so fiercely and purely that he dedicated his entire self to that person or force. Whether it was his love for his family, friends, Liam or in this case God, he was so honest and sincere in those feelings that it stripped him down to his raw emotions and made Liam see how beautiful his heart was. Liam loved every part of Zayn, every fiber that made his body and soul, but _this_ side of Zayn was something he adored more than words could explain.

 

Liam realized Zayn had finished speaking and if he turned around he would probably be extremely embarrassed at seeing Liam there. So Liam moved back a few steps, cleared his throat and walked forward like he had just arrived. “Baby?”

 

“Liam,” Zayn said and quickly turned around with wide eyes. “When did you come up here?”

 

“Just now. What are you doing out here in the cold?” Liam pulled Zayn into his arms and rubbed his back to warm him up.

 

“Just reflecting or something,” Zayn said with a shrug. He hugged Liam tightly and pressed his face into his shirt. “This year has been intense. I’ve learnt a lot from it. Suffered some pain. But I’ve also gained a lot to be thankful for. I like to take a moment or two to thank God for everything. It’s dumb I guess –“

 

“It’s not dumb,” Liam murmured and kissed his head. “I will eternally be grateful to this past year and every force in the universe that brought you into my life. I can’t even imagine my life without you, my angel, my life, my everything. Thank you for coming into my life and giving me your heart, and this love. I only wish that going forward, no matter where I go, you are in my life and we keep growing and evolving, taking this relationship further and further.” As Liam said the words he tangled his left hand with Zayn’s and tapped a finger on Zayn’s ring finger. The boy smiled softly as his cheeks pinked but he looked up at Liam with wide eyes and leaned up to kiss him.

 

“Sun mere humsafar, kya tujhe itni sib hi khabar, ke teri saansein chalti jidhar, rahunga bas wahin umar bhar,” Zayn whispered some words in Urdu and Liam stroked his cheek gently.

 

“What does It mean?” Liam asked.

 

“Listen to me my life partner, do you have the slightest idea that wherever the breaths you take may travel, that is where I will spend my entire life,” Zayn explained softly. “When I first realized that I was in love with you, I wrote those words on your body and hoped that by some magic you would understand them and love me back. You did love me back. And here we are…”

 

“Here we are,” Liam murmured and cupped Zayn’s face to look at him.

 

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1… happy new year!” The screams from downstairs were so loud and fireworks started booming across the sky in bright colours. Liam ran his hand to the back of Zayn’s neck, his fingers through his hair, and drew his face in to kiss him. Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and sighed contently as their mouths met in soft kisses that went from shorter ones to a longer more passionate one. They poured every bit of their emotions into the kiss. Liam pressed Zayn against the wooden railing as their kiss became more heated. And under the sky that glittered with red and yellow fireworks, they kissed with promises that passed between their lips of the future that was to come. Their future.

 

 

**

 

“We can meet once a week to discuss the project and it would also work well for group study. How would Thursdays works?”

 

Zayn looked around at the faces of his fellow group members from his Anatomy class as they all walked out of the building their lecture had been held in. It was the first week of classes and already he had been put into a group with whom he would be doing a major project due at the end of the term and the professor had urged them to use the group they were placed in to do study sessions and according to her, make friends. There were six of them and a few of the people seemed friendly, but the other half seemed aloof. Especially Becca who was announcing the dates.

 

“Thursday is okay,” Zayn said after everyone else had agreed. He couldn’t even comprehend how quickly this term had started and he had been thrown right into the middle of it when it seemed like just yesterday he was struggling to study for last term’s finals as he a wreck over the situation with Liam. As they all spoke about places to meet, Zayn’s phone started to ring. He noticed that it was Liam and quickly excused himself so he could answer it.

 

“Hi jaan,” Zayn murmured.

 

“Hi baby. You look good in my jacket. Almost as good as you looked in just my shirt last night,” Liam said from the other end with a smile in his voice.

 

“How… how do you know I’m in your jacket? You left earlier than me this morning,” Zayn said with a small laugh.

 

“I don’t know. Maybe I’m psychic. Or maybe it’s because I’m so close by you that I can see that dark-haired girl right behind you so obviously checking you out,” Liam chuckled.

 

“Where?” Zayn exclaimed.

 

“Turn around,” Liam said.

 

Zayn spun around with his phone pressed to his ear and saw Liam parked by the curb, leaning against his car, in his work clothes and a coat on top. He grinned at Zayn and shut the phone. Zayn smiled back and held up a finger before he turned back to his group members.

 

“Becca you’ve got my number now. Can you text me where you want to meet on Thursday? I’ve gotta go,” Zayn said. Becca nodded at him and gave him a little wave as Zayn turned around and bounded down the steps to run up to Liam. He threw his arms around the man and felt his feet leave the ground as Liam lifted him

 

“Hi my little angel,” Liam murmured.

 

“Hi my big… sugarbear.” Zayn started giggling as soon as he said it.

 

“Creative. I like it,” Liam laughed and leaned forward to kiss him.

 

“Well you’re very sweet hence the sugar, and you can look big and intimidating like a bear but you’re very soft to the touch,” Zayn rationed.

 

“Are you describing me as Winnie the Pooh bear?” Liam joked.

 

“No dummy, keep up with the analogy,” Zayn sighed and scratched his fingers along Liam’s scruff which he loved so much before pecking his lips. “Where are we off to?”

 

“I’m done with work for the day so we can grab dinner and see a movie or go home if you like,” Liam offered.

 

“Home,” Zayn said softly. “Sounds amazing. I miss Ray too.” Liam smiled and kissed his head before he opened the door to let Zayn in.

 

“See you in class Zayn.” Zayn turned around and saw Becca, another girl from his group named Jazz and a boy named Micah stop near him. He smiled at them and thought they would keep walking but they were looking at Liam.

 

“Umm, guys this is my boyfriend Liam. Li these are my classmates Becca, Jazz and Micah,” Zayn gave introductions.

 

“I know who you are,” Becca said with a smile too bright at Liam.

 

“Some tabloid?” Liam asked with a shake of his head and smile.

 

“That and our parents play at the same golf club. I’ve seen you at one or two galas,” Becca said.

 

“Ah. Well those aren’t exactly events boiling over with fun so I’m sorry if I can’t seem to place you,” Liam said with a smile.

 

“Oh no it’s okay. I wouldn’t think that someone like you would remember me,’” Becca said and Zayn thought he saw a blush. He cleared his throat lightly and Liam leaned over and kissed his head.

 

“Well it was nice to meet you,” Liam gave them a smile and walked over to the driver’s side to settle into his seat.

 

“Bye guys. See you,” Zayn said to them all with a smile and settled into the passenger seat. “I can’t take you anywhere, people literally become blushing salivating messes around you. I don’t blame them but I am the teeniest bit annoyed,” Zayn joked.

 

“Me? Babe. That Jazz girl was giving you major heart eyes. Even I was starting to get a little put off but then I realized she’s just a young college girl with a crush and you are ridiculously beautiful,” Liam said with a laugh as they pulled onto the road.

 

“Oh stop,” Zayn murmured although he was blushing.

 

“Do you wanna get some Japanese?” Liam asked.

 

“Sure. And a pizza,” Zayn said.

 

“That’s a weird dinner,” Liam snorted.

 

“I’m craving Liiiii!” Zayn dragged out Liam’s name with a whine and leaned over to lightly bite the man’s jaw.

 

“Don’t turn savage baby,” Liam squeezed his face and picked up his hand to kiss it. “When we get home I wanna discuss your birthday.” Liam turned to him and smiled and Zayn buried his face into his hands.

 

“Noooo.” For some reason the discussion of his own birthday plans and birthday gifts felt weird to him because it gave him anxiety for unknown reasons. The idea of people caring about him gave him anxiety, ridiculously enough, and he always worried if he was putting people off with money they would spend on him for gifts and it would give him anxiety for days. When he had told Liam all this, the man had given him a fond smile and pulled him into his lap to kiss him breathless. He had explicitly told Zayn that he should feel absolutely no anxiety or guilt because (as Liam put it) he loved the fuck out of him and wanted to give him an incredible birthday. Zayn had felt flustered and let it go but Liam hadn’t.

 

“Don’t be silly angel. Listen, the reason I want to discuss this and not ambush you with a surprise party is because I don’t want to spring something on you that will cause anxiety. I will keep one or two things a secret but I’m sure you’ll love them. For the main event, I need to know what you would like so that you don’t get anxious,” Liam said gently. Zayn sighed and smiled at him as he felt butterflies hit his stomach.

 

“Thank you jaan. If you’re adamant about this, then I think I sort of want to do what I do every year. A nice day and birthday dinner with my family, friends, and you. No drinking or heavy partying stuff. I don’t like that,” Zayn explained.

 

“Anything you want,” Liam said and stoked his cheek. “Is it okay if I come up with something like place and dinner ideas but it won’t be intense or triggering for your anxiety. And of course just your family, Harry, Louis, me, maybe my family, and Niall, Ameera and anyone else you would like to add,” Liam offered.

 

“Thank you,” Zayn said and squeezed Liam’s hand. “And no crazy presents like… like an entire forest named after me or some shit.” Zayn laughed and Liam turned to grin at him.

 

“I will spoil my baby on his 19th birthday however I wish. The birthday celebration is on your terms, but my gifts are up to me,” Liam said with a mischievous smile.

 

“Silly man,” Zayn said with a small laugh and kissed Liam’s cheek as he pulled into the parking space for the Japanese restaurant. Liam left him with a wink and Zayn looked out the window with a smile.

 

 

**

 

“And I swear she’s pure evil because she assigned 200 hundred pages of readings due in a week and an assignment! Who does that?”

 

Liam hummed and rubbed Zayn’s leg under the covers as he texted on his phone. He was busy messaging back and forth with Ameera who was with Niall, Harry, Louis and both of Zayn’s family and his own family up on his roof. They were all setting up to surprise Zayn at midnight for his birthday. It was just a tiny get together with a cake and some food because the actual birthday lunch with all of them was tomorrow at a restaurant Liam had completely booked out. The reason he had kept it a lunch was because that evening he was flying Zayn out for part two of his surprise birthday celebrations.

 

“You’re not even listening to me.” Liam looked to his side to see Zayn pouting at him as he stroked Ray who was asleep in his lap.

 

“I am baby. Your awful prof assigned you 200 pages,” Liam said and leaned over to kiss him.

 

“That was half a century ago. I was saying that I really want to watch this Bollywood movie called Padmaavat. It's a historical drama and I’m ready to cry over the movie,” Zayn said.

 

“Sure. I can get us tickets,” Liam replied. Then he smiled and moved Ray gently out of Zayn’s lap so he could roll over the boy and kiss him. “Someone turns 19 in ten minutes.”

 

“I know. And I’m anxious for some reason,” Zayn whispered.

 

“Why sweetheart?” Liam asked and stroked his hair.

 

“I dunno. One of those unexplainable hits of anxiety. Generalized anxiety is a bitch,” Zayn murmured.

 

“Well I’m sorry you feel this way but how about at midnight we eat some cake on the roof and then I fuck you real nice and slow to you know, celebrate your existence,” Liam said with a smirk.

 

“Or whatever,” Zayn replied with a grin.

 

“Or whatever,” Liam echoed with a grin of his own and kissed the boy.

 

“If it isn’t white chocolate truffle cake like I’ve been hinting at, then I won’t have sex with you for 27 days,” Zayn warned.

 

“That’s a weirdly specific number,” Liam said with a raised brow.

 

“Well I’m human after all. I can’t live without this,” Zayn said and ran his hand down Liam’s shirtless torso. “Or this,” Zayn whispered and cupped his dick.

 

“Mmm. I can’t live without this,” Liam whispered and cupped Zayn’s face and gazed into his eyes to let him know that he couldn’t exist without Zayn’s entire being in his life. “The light of my life,” Liam murmured and kissed him. His and Zayn’s phones buzzed at the same time with a calendar notification and Liam grinned at the boy as he flushed a little. “Happy birthday my love.”

 

“Thank you,” Zayn whispered back. Liam wrapped him up tightly and kissed across his face 19 times and said I love you 19 times with each kiss. Zayn was a giggling mess by the end and Liam grinned at him.

 

“One for good luck,” Liam added and kissed him on the lips. “Happy birthday angel. I love you so fucking much and my life would be literally nothing without you. It would have absolutely none of the meaning you and your beautiful existence have brought into it. I wish you live a hundred years, a happy and full life. I hope you surpass me in life because I can’t imagine a world without you sweetheart. You _are_ my entire world.”

 

“Thank you jaan,” Zayn whispered, obviously flustered as his eyes teared up and he hid his face in Liam’s neck. “I love you so much. This is already the best birthday ever.”

 

“Well it’s about to get better,” Liam grinned and got up from the bed.

 

“Do we have to eat cake on the roof? Can’t we eat it here and then you know…” Zayn grinned and rolled onto his stomach.

 

“Yes we do. Because I have some nice candles and stuff set up,” Liam lied slightly just to get him to come up.

 

“Jaan,” Zayn said fondly and stood up to walk across the bed to Liam and then wrapped his arms around him. “You spoil me too much.”

 

“Not enough baby. Come on,” Liam handed Zayn his slippers which were some massive comfy indoor shoes shaped like pandas and then they threw on jackets to head to the door leading to the roof.

 

“Nobody in my family, neither Harry or Louis have texted me and it’s ten past midnight. Maybe they all fell asleep,” Zayn murmured although he sounded sad.

 

“I’m sure they’ll remember tomorrow,” Liam said as he pushed open the roof door and let Zayn go first. Zayn walked forward, staring down at his phone, completely oblivious, until the roof lights turned on and screams of ‘Surprise!’ filled the air. Zayn yelped in shock and everyone started screaming ‘Happy Birthday!’

 

Liam grinned and walked over to hug Zayn from behind as everyone started pouring out from hiding places. Zayn was shaking in surprise and looking at everyone with wide eyes.

 

“Maa? Baba? Don Baji? Harry… Niall… Karen… what? What is happening?” Zayn sputtered.

 

“Your birthday beta! Happy birthday my little jaan!” Tricia exclaimed and hugged Zayn tightly while covering him in kisses. Liam smiled and let Zayn go as everyone ambushed him with hugs and kisses. Zayn had just finished hugging Louis and Harry fiercely when he turned around and looked at Liam with a grin.

 

“You,” Zayn said and ran up to him to throw himself into Liam’s arms. “You sneaky bastard. We’ll have cake on the roof… there’s candles.” Zayn grinned and pressed a kiss to Liam’s mouth. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too angel,” Liam replied with a chuckle and showered his face with kisses. “And I did get your white chocolate truffle cake.”

 

“My hero,” Zayn murmured, his eyes sparkling, and he kissed Liam again.

 

“Let’s cut the cake Zayn!” Doniya yelled out. They walked over to the deck which Liam had enlisted Ameera’s help to design and then setup with help from everyone else. There was a long table set up with candles and an abundance of white roses, Zayn’s favourite flower. There were fairy lights and lanterns all across the roof and a sign in gold which read ‘Happy Birthday Zayn.’ The cake which was three-tiered sat in the middle of the table and there were all of Zayn’s favourite things like macarons, chocolate covered strawberries and non-alcoholic champagne since Zayn didn’t want to drink.

 

Liam pulled back the chair at the head of the table and Zayn sat down into it with a wide smile thrown at him. Liam picked up the golden birthday crown Ameera had bought and he set it onto Zayn’s head with a kiss to his cheek. Liam took out his lighter and lit the nineteen candles on the cake before he set it in front of Zayn with a smile. Everyone stood up around the table and began singing happy birthday. Zayn was flushing so deeply that his cheeks were crimson. His eyes were teary and when one spilled out Liam quickly leaned down to cup his face and kiss the tears away as everyone else continued singing. Zayn gave him a soft smile and Liam kissed his forehead before he moved back and finished singing with everyone. At the end as they all cheered and hooted for him, Zayn blew the candles out. When they all didn’t blow out at once he looked at the cake in frustration and blew even harder which made Liam chuckle.

 

“Bad luck! You didn’t get it at once!” Waliyha shouted.

 

“Nineteen is too many,” Zayn said in frustration. Liam laughed and helped him blow it which made Zayn grin at him widely with his nose scrunched. Liam took the knife from Zayn and cut a tiny piece off before he held it out for Zayn.

 

“Happy birthday angel,” Liam said and Zayn ate the piece with a smile. When there was some icing left on his lips, Liam couldn’t help but lean forward and kiss Zayn while licking away the cream. Everyone was either cooing or in Niall’s case, cat-calling. Zayn moved back and kissed Liam once more before he turned to his parents and exchanged hugs with them as they fed him some cake. Zayn then scooped Safaa up from the ground and peppered her with kisses as she laughed. When the cake was served, everyone took their seats to eat it. Liam was sitting in his chair talking to Niall when Zayn came over and ignored his seat to sit in Liam’s lap.

 

“Hi birthday boy,” Liam grinned and kissed him.

 

“Hi jaan. You’re so fucking incredible for organizing all this. I feel like I’m floating right now,” Zayn said in a soft voice and hugged Liam tightly.

 

“I’m glad you like it. I would do anything to make you happy my love,” Liam said and kissed him softly. There was the sound of a spoon clicking against a glass and they looked over to see Yaser standing up.

 

“I just want to make a short toast in honour of your birthday beta,” Yaser said with a smile in Zayn’s direction. Liam squeezed Zayn gently with a smile and the latter was smiling softly at his dad. “I can’t even express in words how lucky me and your Maa are to call you our son. We may be biased but you are an incredible boy. So talented, kind, compassionate and intelligent. You have grown so much in this past year alone and we are so incredibly proud of you. Your beauty shines inside and out and when people tell us we raised a good kid, as if we deserve the credit, I always say to them, no… that is all Zayn. Your hard-work and loving nature inspires me, even as your parent, daily and I only make one prayer everyday like I do for all four of you kids. I pray that you see nothing but happiness, love, health and success in your life Zayn. I wish this entire world for you and I am so proud of you beta. You make me proud every single day. I love you. Happy birthday Zayn.”

 

Liam clapped loudly like everyone else was and Zayn slipped out of his lap to go over to his dad and hug him tightly. Zayn had tears rolling down his cheek as Yaser wrapped him in a hug and kissed his head. They murmured to each other for a few moments and then Zayn turned to hug his mom and kiss her cheek. Zayn stayed sat beside them as Safaa crawled into his lap. Then Doniya made a short toast as well followed by Harry’s humorous toast which had to be censored a little and which left Zayn grinning. After the noise had died down, Liam stood up and tapped his glass once. Everyone looked to him, including Zayn, and Liam gave him a smile and wink. Zayn bit his lip and flushed a little.

 

“Yaser your toast may be hard to follow because your words were beautiful but I want to take a quick second to thank you and Tricia for bringing Zayn into this world and giving me the love of my life. The way your raised him into this incredible person is a testament to how great you both are. But just like you said, the praise for Zayn being how wonderful he is, goes to him and him alone. Baby…” Liam said and grinned at Zayn who looked on the edge of tears already. “I have met many different people in this world, some utter garbage and some amazing, but no single person I have ever come across has amazed me like you do. This may sound cheesy, but you and your beautiful soul and your pretty hazel eyes have a hold on my heart. I knew that if I fell in love someday it would be with someone as incredible as you. You are a source that inspires me daily to become a better person. You have the biggest heart, you are so kind-hearted, loving, smart, so creative and artistic and intelligent and I am in awe of you every single day. I know that one day you are going to be so successful that people will look up to you and speak of you as an example, hell people already do. And I am thankful to be a part of your journey. Thank you for existing you beautiful angel, thank you for letting me into your heart and I know that you’ll have a lifetime of great birthdays like this and I hope to experience it all with you. Happy birthday my love.”

 

Liam had kept his eyes on Zayn throughout the speech and the boy’s eyes had gone from cloudy to full on tears within minutes. He stood up shakily and walked over to Liam to hug him silently. Liam hugged him back tightly and pressed kisses to Zayn’s head as the boy shook in his arms. “I can’t believe you. I love you so much,” Zayn whispered tearfully. “That was beautiful jaan, I don’t even know what to say. Your words are always so beautiful and I can’t believe I am lucky enough to be on the receiving end.”

 

“I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to call you mine,” Liam murmured and kissed his forehead. “You’re my angel, my love, my life, my heart, my baby and I wish nothing but a lifetime of happiness for you.”

 

“You make me happy. You and your love is all I need to survive,” Zayn whispered.

 

“That was such a cheesy but cute speech Liam,” Ameera said and came up to ruffle Zayn’s hair. “Let’s do presents because the little ones are falling asleep.”

 

Liam kissed Zayn’s head and then walked over to the bar with Ameera to retrieve all the presents people had brought for Zayn and they set them down on the table for Zayn to unwrap. He made his way through everyone’s gifts and Liam could see a flush on his cheeks that continued to deepen. Zayn took the time to look through every gift carefully and hug each and every person and kiss their cheeks. When Zayn got to Liam’s gift it was a tiny box and he looked up at the man and grinned.

 

“So humble this time around Mr. Payne,” Zayn teased.

 

“Oh that’s gift number one darling there’s nineteen gifts,” Liam replied with a smile.

 

“I hate you,” Zayn mumbled as everyone else laughed. Liam grinned at Zayn and watched the boy unwrap the box and open it to take out a small snow globe with the Eiffel Tower in it.

 

“Oh this is so cute! A symbol of our love and where it began.” Zayn looked up at him and smiled so widely. “Thank you jaan,” Zayn said and came over to hug him but Liam just chuckled.

 

“Yes but you’re a little off base. It’s not just for the symbolic part. It’s a hint,” Liam said.

 

“Hint? Like…” Zayn said slowly.

 

“Like… the real gift is that tomorrow you and I are going to Paris,” Liam explained. Zayn gasped and looked at him with wide eyes for a second. Liam rubbed his arm and looked at him with a smile. “Baby, you okay?”

 

“Paris?” Zayn squeaked.

 

“Oui, mon cherie,” Liam replied with a chuckle.

 

“Liam,” Zayn stuttered and then he threw himself onto the man to hug him tightly. “You’re something else.”

 

“I want to do something special for your birthday,” Liam told him.

 

“Suddenly it’s my birthday too,” Niall joked and everyone laughed. Zayn moved back and looked at him tearfully for a few seconds although he was grinning.

 

“Thank you. I love you,” Zayn whispered and kissed him They kissed chastely for a few seconds before Zayn moved back and hugged him again. Liam was pressing kisses to his head when Yaser cleared his throat from the other side. They looked over at him and he was looking at Zayn with some confusion.

 

“Zayn, what do you mean by your love _began_ in Paris. You’ve never been there,” Yaser was looking at them suspiciously. Liam felt Zayn totally freeze in his arms and he couldn’t help the laughter that left his own lips.

 

 

 

**

 

 

“We still have the first cake left over in your fridge and there was a second cake too,” Zayn groaned. Liam laughed and took his hand to press a kiss to it. They had just left the restaurant Liam had booked for Zayn’s birthday where they had lunch with everyone and had a second cake as well. Then after some long hugs and kisses they had left everyone to get into the car and drive to the airport. As Liam had informed him, they would be in Paris for two days and they would be back in New York late Sunday night because they had work and class on Monday.

 

So far Liam had given him ten presents which included some designer clothes, a tiny diamond stud for his nose, a leather jacket, a first edition Great Gatsby, some little art pieces, and a gorgeous framed picture of the streets of Turkey. There were still nine presents left and Zayn was overwhelmed enough. Liam kept blowing him away and Zayn was left speechless.

 

They had reached the airport and gotten onto the jet as Zayn smiled at an Instagram post Liam had made on his account. He had taken a picture of Zayn last night, sitting on the table covered in candles and roses, the birthday sign behind him, as he wore his birthday crown and grinned at the camera. Liam had captioned it ‘birthday boy’ with a heart. Zayn smiled a little and liked it before he closed his phone. Liam walked over to him and handed him two more gifts and kissed his head. Zayn shook his head with a smile and opened the first one to see an instax camera in pale blue.

 

“You said your old camera was acting up,” Liam explained.

 

“Thank you jaan,” Zayn said and kissed his cheek. “So next year are you going to get me 20 gifts and then 21 after that and so on?” Zayn asked teasingly as he ripped open the second gift.

 

“Yup,” Liam grinned. Zayn shook his head with a laugh and unwrapped the second box to have a few pieces of paper fall out. They were all pamphlets for different places and Zayn recognized that they were for cities like Istanbul, Dubai, Mumbai, Kashmir and finally Lahore in Pakistan. Zayn stared at them confused and looked up at Liam.

 

“I originally wanted a longer birthday trip for you that would include your family as well but you mentioned you had a test this upcoming week so I decided we’ll do Paris just for now and in your spring break I’ve booked you and your family a trip to all these places. You always mentioned these were some of your top places to visit,” Liam said.

 

“Liam,” Zayn breathed out, completely speechless.

 

“You always said you wanna go to these places and with your family as well. So I thought it would be a nice gift,” Liam explained and leaned forward to kiss him.

 

“It’s too much,” Zayn whispered back.

 

“It’s not. I would give you this world if I could,” Liam replied. “It’s be a nice get away for you and you’ll love the experience.”

 

“Thank you,” Zayn murmured and wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck to kiss him. “Are you not going to come with us?”

 

“This is some time off for you and your family. I won’t intrude,” Liam answered.

 

“You _are_ my family,” Zayn said the words his heart was always beating with fiercely. He wasn’t afraid to say them out loud to the man he loved. “You’re a part of our family now too and I won’t go if you won’t come.”

 

“Baby,” Liam whispered and kissed him softly. “I love you. I’ll come with you.”

 

“Thank you. And plus my dad will be super excited to show you around Pakistan,” Zayn explained with a grin.

 

“I’m looking forward to it,” Liam smiled and pecked his nose. “Now buckle up.” Zayn smiled and sat in his seat properly and buckled himself up so the jet could take off. His heart was soaring with the idea to be back in the place where he had first gotten together with Liam, first kissed him, first felt that beat of love. First began his life.

 

 

**

 

 

“Your mom’s face when you explained the first date in Paris is something I’ll never forget,” Liam chuckled.

 

“Neither will I. It was terrifying for a second,” Zayn said with a sigh. He noticed that they were driving out of the main city of Paris and he looked at Liam in confusion. “Where are we going babe?”

 

“We’re not staying at the hotel. We’re staying at the villa,” Liam said with a smile. “Tomorrow we’ll come back into the city to go to the Eiffel Tower and a few other places and on Sunday we’ll take the train to London where we’ll spend some time and watch that movie you wanted to see and have dinner.”

 

Zayn grinned and kissed Liam’s cheek before he leaned his head on the man’s shoulder and watched the city lights tinkling under the night sky fade away as they drove further away from the city. When they reached the villa, Liam thanked the driver and took their bags inside. They left their bags in the master bedroom and Liam left to go take a call and Zayn started to change his clothes. When he finished and left the room, he couldn’t find Liam anywhere. He made his way downstairs and found a present at the foot of the stairs. There were only four left to give since Liam had given him a few more on the flight over. Zayn smiled and picked up the thin packaging and ripped it off to see a vinyl record. It was in plain packaging and at the back were a list of songs. A small note read ‘all the songs that remind me of our love.’ It was a list of songs that had significance to their relationship like Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis, Tonight by John Legend, Perfect by Ed Sheeran, Into You by Ariana, Die for You by The Weeknd, Good For You by Selena Gomez, Afreen Afreen, Humsafar which Zayn had written on Liam’s body, Tum hi Ho which Zayn had sang over the phone, Abh Toh Aa Ja Saajna which Zayn had performed when Liam had been watching from a distance, and so many others.   

 

Zayn couldn’t help his smile and he walked forward and came across a tiny present in the hallway. He opened the box and found a necklace with a tiny deer pendant on the end. Bambi Eyes written on the back. Zayn laughed softly and continued forward with the gifts clutched in his hand. He came across another gift set on a table in the main lounge area where they had had their dinner date that first time. Zayn opened it and gasped when he saw a delicate gold bracelet. It was a thin cuff bracelet that had tiny cursive running around it. Zayn peered closely and read ‘take my whole hand, take my whole life too, for I can’t help falling in love with you.’

 

“Jaan…” Zayn whispered. He saw a light on the other side of the verandah doors and he walked over to push them open. Zayn could see a table in the centre of the verandah walkway and he walked over to it slowly. There were candles glowing on the table and a soft tune playing somewhere which Zayn could have sworn sounded like Can’t Help Falling in Love.

 

Liam was nowhere in sight but he saw a small gift on the table. This was the nineteenth. Final gift. Zayn felt anxious for some reason and he opened it with shaky hands to see a black velvet box. His breath caught in his throat and his mind was racing as he opened it up to see a ring. A delicate, beautiful ring that was gold and set with paved diamonds all around it. 

 

“It’s a promise ring.”

 

Zayn spun around with wide eyes and saw Liam watching him with a smile and soft eyes. The man walked over to him and kissed his forehead gently before he took his hand and squeezed it. “It’s a promise ring to symbolize that this is forever. We are forever. And if you’ll have me, then this ring will seal the promise of our future and what’s to come.”

 

“Is-is this a proposal? Zayn barely whispered.

 

“Not yet,” Liam explained gently and kissed all across his knuckles. “You’re still young and have yet to finish college and then med school and maybe travel the world someday. This is a promise ring. This is me asking you, if someday, I can propose to you. This is signifying that I want to marry you someday Zayn Malik. You are my _everything_ and I can’t live without you. I want to be yours and you to be mine in every which way. I want us to take that step someday and become bonded for eternity.”

 

“Of course I would say yes,” Zayn choked out. “Promising you now, if you propose to me tomorrow, five years from now, or even the next second I will always say yes. I love you and you are all I want. The only person I want to be with. I do want to marry you. Have a family with you. More than anything.” Zayn could feel his tears spilling down his cheeks in rivers and Liam scooped him up in his arms to kiss him passionately.

 

“I love you so fucking much angel,” Liam whispered and kissed him all across his face. “I was going to give this to you at our third month anniversary but we broke up then. That’s how long I’ve held onto this.”

 

“Jaan, I’m so sorry.” Zayn felt pained as he realized how serious Liam had been back then too and he had crushed it with his actions.

 

“No. Don’t be sorry. Ever. It’s not your fault and never has been. The blame only falls on a couple of bastards who are rotting in prison now anyways. Plus, I think with all that time apart it just makes me more grateful every day to have you in my life. I appreciate this love so much more,” Liam whispered and stroked a thumb across his jaw. He pecked Zayn’s lips and trailed some kisses across his face. “Can I put it on you?”

 

Zayn nodded and Liam took his right hand and pressed kisses across it. Then he slipped the ring onto the ring finger of his right hand. Zayn blinked as his tears continued to fall from his eyes and Liam lavished more kisses across his hand and up his arm to finally cup his face and press a kiss. Zayn felt a hurricane of emotions rolling through his body as he realized that six months ago he had stood in this very spot and kissed this man for the first time ever. He had kissed someone he had been feeling a multitude of emotions for that ranged from obvious physical attraction at that time and something else he couldn’t explain that spiked whenever Liam had smiled at him. And now he stood here, in the same man’s arms as he put a ring on him that promised of a marriage proposal to come in the future and tied them together for eternity. Zayn felt dizzy from the rush of happiness, tears and exhilaration. It wasn’t possible to love someone this much. It wasn’t possible to want someone this much.

 

“Just so you know jaan, you don’t have to wait for me to finish med school and get a job and all that. I would have married you now if you asked. I can achieve all my dreams with you by my side. You’re already the most supportive boyfriend and I know you’ll be the most supportive husband as well. Us being married won’t hinder my path to my goals. You do nothing but uplift me anyways,” Zayn whispered. Liam smiled at him and hugged him even more tightly and kissed his head.

 

“I know baby. You have to at least finish college though,” Liam said and kissed him. “But for now… we can take things a step further in light of this new promise ring. Do you want to move in with me?” Liam asked with a smile. Zayn felt a little speechless for a second then he jumped on Liam making the man stumble a little as he caught him.

 

“Yes you fool!” Zayn laughed. “I already spend more time at your place than my dorm but yes, yes! I want to officially move in with you. I love you!” Liam laughed and moved his face back to capture Zayn’s lips in a kiss. They were kissing until they were breathless and Zayn moved his face back to look up at the sky.

 

“Shame it’s not raining. We really could have recreated our first date,” Zayn murmured.

 

Liam grinned and pinched his chin lightly before setting him down and taking his hand. “Come with me.” Zayn gave him a confused look but he linked his hand with Liam as they walked down the terrace walkway and where Zayn thought was a dead end, Liam turned to a small nook where stone steps lead down. They continued downwards where they came upon a huge empty field. There were trees on either side and hills up ahead. Zayn walked forward and turned in circles to see what exactly what they were here for. He was about to turn to Liam when he was suddenly hit with a spray of water. Zayn shrieked ad spun around to see that there were sprinklers all around them. It was already freezing out but the cold water made it chillier.

 

Zayn pushed his hair out of his eyes and saw Liam walking to him with a grin on his face. “You asked for rain baby,” Liam said with a laugh.

 

Zayn burst out laughing and ran up to Liam to jump on him. Liam grabbed his legs as Zayn wrapped them around his waist and they spun around as they kissed. “I love you, I love you, I love you!” Zayn chanted breathlessly.

 

“I love you more my beautiful angel,” Liam said and rained kisses all over his face. They were soaking wet when they toppled to the ground in laughs. They lay side by side and stared up at the night sky, unable to care about the cold water.

 

“When I was little, my Baba told me that pairs are made up in the sky. That God has made a perfect match for everyone, your soulmate, and it’s been written in the stars even before we were born. When I was like 14-15 years old I used to stare at the night sky and pray with all my heart that my other half, my prince, would come and sweep me off my feet. Come into my life and fall madly in love with me, and me with him. By the time I was 17-18, even before I shortly met you and I had the thing with Drew, I was so upset and angry at the universe that my person who was written for me in the stars had not arrived. Which if you look at it is so silly because I was so young and my life was ahead of me. But I was so tired. And then you walked in. Into that library and into my heart and all my stars aligned I guess. I got my other half,” Zayn whispered the secrets in his heart to Liam as he turned his face to look at the man. Liam was watching him with an attentiveness that made Zayn want to melt away.

 

Liam rolled over and brushed a hand through his soaking wet hair before he kissed Zayn, deeply and full of love. “And I found my angel. My other half.”

 

“My jaan,” Zayn murmured back as he gazed into Liam’s eyes sparkling under the moonlight.

 

Liam paused and looked at him with an expression full of wonder and awe. It looked very much like the expression Liam had looked at him with when they had first met. When they had first made love. When they had first confessed their love. Something so fond and purely full of love. It made Zayn’s skin light on fire and his heart beat out of his chest. Then, ever so slowly, he leaned in and pecked Zayn once, twice and then thrice and murmured softly in his ear.

 

“My bambi eyes.”

 

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel this shaky weight on my chest because this is the last fucking chapter. LAST FUCKING CHAPTER GUYS. well not technically because we have one more chapter to go which is the epilogue but this is the last one set in present time and hoommmmmggg i'm so emotional. There is A LOT I want to say but i'm not going to get into it now because i want to leave my full message for the last chapter to thank you all and say some important stuff, i wont ruin it by getting into it now. Just know, you have no fucking idea how much i love and appreciate each and every one of you who has read this and supported it, especially those of u from the start (january 2017) we're at the one year mark. this fandom has been messy and i know i lost many readers but those of u who stayed, thank you. i could never have finished the fic. oh look at that, im doing what i wasnt gonna do yet. TO BE CONTINUED IN THE END NOTES OF CHAP 25.
> 
> Also im a little delirious because im uploading this at 2am and i cant think of much else to say.... i didnt want to wait till tomorrow to upload it cus the chap was done and atleast the people in time zones who are waking up now will get a nice treat. one quick other thing i wanna address, anyone who may be disappointed at this ending and u wanted to see ziam do the move in together and other extra scenes, please know that i always planned on ending it like this in Paris where they first started because it's more symbolic and iconic, this ending has been set for ages. ending it on a random fluff scene in new york wasn't something i was feeling because it would feel meh... i wanted something solid and symbolic hence this scene with the ring in paris to end on. PLUS, do not forget that the epilogue is jam packed with everything u wanna see and i wanna write and it will be just as long if not longer. without spoilers some things it will have include ziam being domestic shortly after moving in, zayn graduating, possibly proposals and things that come after that if u know what i mean:) a big time jump and some surprises :))) overall it's gonna be really good. im excited to write it :)
> 
> okay, that's it for now. i hope you guys enjoyed reading this chapter it took alot of blood and sweat like the whole fic lol. i love you all sooooo fucking much and thank you for telling me ur fave scenes in the last chapter comment section, i really enjoyed reading them. i love you all so very much, thank you for everything<333


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five - EPILOGUE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone :) We're finally here. The final chapter, the end, the wrap-up, the epilogue. My God there is so much swirling in my brain but I will save it for the end notes. Please read the end notes as I will have a lot to say. As for taking a long time with the epilogue there's two reasons. One, this epilogue is 210 pages, 60.3k words, which means its three times the size of my regular chapters which ranged at 70-80 pages and 20k words. So it took longer to write and edit. Second, I haven't been feeling so great for the past month or more, not physically but just mentally and emotionally 'cus life is a mess and I've just been avoiding being online and all that. But writing did help me and eventually I completed it :) So here it is, the final chapter and the end of Can't Help Falling in Love with You. As I write this I feel like I might cry a little but we'll save that for the end notes. I really, really hope you guys like this because it took a lot of energy and effort and stress. I'm pleased with how it turned out :) There's many, many quick time jumps at times so don't be surprised but that's how I wanted it to go. I'll stop rambling now. Hope you guys like it! Love you <3
> 
> p.s. ignore any little spelling or grammatical errors, given how long this chapter i may have missed some things while editing. also there will be mentions of things like medical school, residency and fellowship and i dont know everything about them just my limited research so pls ignore any inconsistencies or errors. its a fic so there's room for a little bending of realistic stuff :)
> 
> p.p.s. i made a playlist of the songs that were used in the fic just in case anyone was interested. i made it on youtube cus spotify does not have all the pakistani/indian songs i needed, so here's the link  
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3vGx3k3BbTuMphAG2YCKrlARt_2L-6IL  
> (quick note, die for you is kinda fucked cus of copyright and passionfruit is a cover for the same reason so i suggest you listen to them on spotify lmao.. i needed to include them but there were no originals on youtube)

 

 

**Ten Months Later**

 

Shimmery lights. Bright laughs. Clinking of crystal glasses. Smooth jazz. The night was an ambiance of crackling energy and happiness flowing like a stream of oxygen throughout the room. People breathing it in and letting it light up their body. Men in tuxes and women in expensive gowns all floated throughout the room with champagne flutes in hand as they dabbled at the slots or sat down for a game of black jack. The night was just starting.

 

“Congratulations Mr. Payne.” 

 

Liam grinned and gave a small squeeze to the hand of the woman in the deep maroon dress who had spoken. He sipped his champagne and walked up to the table of roulette. Something on the far side of the table made him smile more deeply and he walked up to the end of the table and picked up a chip.

 

“Mr. Payne,” the croupier greeted him with a smile. “Betting on a number?”

 

“I’d like to place a bet on the number 12,” Liam said as he placed his chip.

 

“Anything special about the number?” Liam looked to his left to see a woman with a purple pixie cut smiling at him. 

 

“It’s my lucky number,” Liam answered. His eyes caught the gaze of the astonishingly handsome young man on the other side of the table who looked surprised at Liam’s teasing grin, but he smiled back with a light blush. 

 

The ball rolled and everyone watched with bated breaths as the wheel slowed down. The ball landed on 12 to Liam’s own shock and he laughed a little as the woman to his left squeezed his arm in a congratulatory manner. Liam looked at the handsome boy again who was smiling at him and shaking his head. Liam winked at him and backed away from the table with his champagne in hand. As he circled round the table he stopped behind the dark-haired boy and squeezed his hip. The boy sucked in a breath and froze a little. 

 

“Elevators in five,” Liam whispered and walked away. He wandered over to the bar where he could see a head of dirty blonde hair.

 

“Is someone too chicken to play tonight?” Liam asked.

 

“Wanna go up against me at a hand of black jack?” Niall turned around with a grin and raised a brow.

 

“Awww, I’d love to kick your ass Ni but I’ve got someone waiting for me by the elevators,” Liam replied with a tiny smirk.

 

“Ahhh. Is he hot?” Niall asked with a knowing smile. 

 

“Face of an angel and body like sin. Hold down the fort for me,” Liam replied with a grin and drained his champagne before he turned to leave. 

 

“Li!” Niall shouted and Liam turned around with a quizzical look. “So fucking proud of you man. You did it.” The opening night of the casino and hotel in Vegas was an incredible success and Liam felt his body bursting with happiness and pride. He saw it mirrored in Niall’s eyes right now too. A year ago, things like fires and people like Max were trying to destroy this dream but it had come true. And it was spectacular.

“We did it Ni. We did it,” Liam corrected with a smile and walked away. He tried to get to the elevators quickly but he was stopped by many people who wanted to congratulate him on what a success the night and everything that he had built was. Liam thanked them all quickly and finally escaped the main room to enter a massive lobby that was all black marble and mirrors. He was walking towards the elevators and looking around for the person in question but he couldn’t seem to spot him. 

 

“Hey,” a soft voice murmured. 

 

Liam smiled and turned slowly. It was astounding how beautiful he was. Liam felt blown away. The boy ran a hand through his thick black hair as a strand fell across his forehead. He was leaning against a wall with his legs crossed in front of each other. His tux was tailored perfectly and hugged the lines of his body.

 

“Hey gorgeous,” Liam murmured and walked over to hit the elevator button. 

 

“Do this often?” The boy asked quietly as he came and stood by Liam.

 

“Maybe. Never wanted anyone as much as you though,” Liam added in a low voice.

 

“Yeah?” The boy breathed.

 

Liam nodded and smirked lightly as he walked into the elevator and leaned against the back wall with his hands in his pockets. The boy walked in slowly with a smile and when the doors slid closed, Liam hit the button for the penthouse. 

 

“Nervous?” Liam questioned.

 

“Only because I want you so much,” he replied breathlessly.

 

“Good. I’m gonna wreck you baby,” Liam said in a dark voice. He grabbed the boy by his thin hips and pushed him into the mirrored wall of the elevator to kiss him. 

 

“Fuck.” The boy gasped as Liam hoisted him up by his ass to properly ravish his mouth. He groaned and tightened his legs around Liam’s waist to kiss back heatedly. “Liam,” he moaned as Liam bit his lip.

 

“God when you say my name like that,” Liam groaned and tugged at his hair to allow him access to bite his neck.

 

“Fuck. More,” the boy moaned.

 

“My baby is so needy,” Liam chuckled against his neck.

 

The boy stared at him with heavy lidded eyes and he bit his lip before fluttering his inky and thick lashes eyes slowly. “Only for you… daddy.” He whispered the last part tantalizingly and in the boy’s smirk Liam knew that he was aware of exactly what he was doing.

 

“Zayn,” Liam groaned, his demeanor cracking and he attacked the dark-haired boy’s lips. 

 

Zayn moaned in a filthy manner and pushed his hips forward into Liam’s. Zayn’s lips were already swollen and red like bruised fruit and Liam’s stomach pooled with heated arousal as he thought of ways to ruin them even more. Liam curled his tongue around Zayn’s and indulged in the taste of something citrusy in his mouth which was probably because of the shots they had all done earlier in the evening. Zayn didn’t drink anymore unless if it was a celebratory occasion and he would take one shot or rarely a glass of champagne. He had never drank alcohol much before anyways but after the events of last year, he had given up drinking completely unless if it was a special occasion. Like tonight was.

 

The elevator opened and Liam tugged Zayn out by the hand and tapped the keycard for the room to let them into the penthouse suite. As soon as the door shut he gathered Zayn in his arms and picked him up bridal style to walk into the bedroom. Zayn laughed softly against his lips and Liam grinned as they fell onto the king-sized bed.

 

“So Mr. Payne… why is your favourite number 12?” Zayn asked with a teasing grin as he tugged off Liam’s bow-tie.

 

“My baby came into the world on the twelfth,” Liam answered and winked at Zayn as he unbuttoned the crisp white shirt Zayn was wearing under his tux. Zayn knew the answer but he still flushed and smiled brightly at Liam. “And as someone made me aware last week, after waking me up from a deep sleep, we had our first date on the 12th of July as well.”

 

“You’re so cheesy jaan,” Zayn giggled and wrapped his limbs tightly around Liam. “I bet on number 29 earlier tonight and won.”

 

“Now who’s cheesy,” Liam snorted and pressed a kiss to Zayn’s lips before moving back to take his own shirt off. Zayn bit his lip and ran a hand down to his own crotch to lightly stroke himself as he watched Liam with wide eyes.

 

“Uh-uh,” Liam said with a smirk and pressed Zayn’s hand into the bed. “No touching yourself. Remember?”

 

“Jaan…” Zayn whined.

 

“Be a good boy and keep your hands up there baby,” Liam murmured and moved off the bed to toss off everything except his briefs. Zayn watched him with barely contained anticipation. His chest rose and fell as he took deep breaths.

 

“I’ve been waiting all day after you teased me like the devil you are and left me right as I was about to come. It’s not fair,” Zayn said and pouted. He blinked his ridiculously wide doe-eyes slowly at Liam and licked his lips.

 

“Patience baby boy,” Liam replied as he peeled Zayn’s pants off and left him in his briefs. He then had an idea and picked up his bow-tie from the ground. He crawled back on top of Zayn and smirked at him. Zayn bit his lip as he realized what Liam wanted to do and he nodded quickly. They had done this briefly once before on Valentine’s day, their first Valentine’s day together, and Liam wanted to try it out again. Zayn lifted his head and Liam tied the silky piece of cloth around his eyes as a blindfold.

 

“Don’t forget your colours okay?” Liam murmured and leaned down to press a kiss to Zayn’s lips. Zayn smiled against his mouth and reached his hands up blindly to cup Liam’s face.

 

“I know jaan. Don’t worry about me. I know what I can take and I know what I want. Like I’ve told you a million times, the tears last time were happy tears and came from a good release. You worry about me too much,” Zayn whispered.

 

“Well I gotta. You’re my everything,” Liam said and pressed tender kisses across the expanse of Zayn’s face. “I love you angel.”

 

“Love you too meri jaan. Now hurry up. I’m green as fuck,” Zayn giggled and Liam nipped his earlobe.

 

“Green as fuck. Eloquent.” Liam grinned and squeezed Zayn’s hips before he started kissing down Zayn’s torso. His skin was soft and warm and it smelt like the jasmine scent Zayn always used. He started kissing across Zayn’s thighs and sucked gently on the freckle that possessed his thoughts constantly. Zayn moaned and reached down to touch him but Liam quickly pinned his hands above his hands.

 

“Keep ‘em up there baby,” Liam reminded him. “Gonna take you apart slowly.”

 

“Everyone will wonder where you’ve gone so this can’t be too long,” Zayn huffed.

 

“I’ll take however long I want. No one is allowed to come up here anyways. They wouldn’t wanna be the reason I don’t get to fuck you,” Liam said with teasing lilt to his voice.

 

“Why? Would you hulk out on your poor employees and friends?” Zayn asked jokingly.

 

“For that,” Liam began and flipped Zayn onto his stomach. “You won’t get to come for an hour. And maybe I’ll take this time to spend all my attention on your thighs. Just your thighs. You know how much I love them.”

 

“Evil,” Zayn groaned into the sheets.

 

Liam smiled and looked down at the image Zayn painted. Golden skin against white sheets, smooth and velvety soft. His black hair tousled and fluffy around his head. His lips rosy and red as his mouth was slightly parted. Black silk covering his gorgeous hazel eyes. He looked so provocative and sexy that Liam almost came on the spot. Zayn’s black Versace briefs were hugging his hips and the curve of his ass perfectly. The rose gold Cartier bracelet on his thin wrist and the promise ring on his right hand which was resting on the sheets made a burst of love tangle with the lust. This boy underneath him was _his_ boy and he was utterly perfect.

 

“I love you,” Liam said in a soft voice and pressed a kiss to the corner of Zayn’s mouth.

 

“Love you too,” Zayn murmured back. “Now get in me.”

 

Liam laughed at Zayn’s impatience and kissed his flushed cheek and then he started kissing down Zayn’s spine all the way to his thighs before he started lavishing the slow attention he had promised.

 

 

**

 

“So what’s with the limp Zayn?”

 

Zayn flushed hard and turned around to take a drink of water. He could see Liam out of the corner of his eye, who was adjusting his bow-tie and giving Miguel a pointed look.

 

“Nasty fucks,” Miguel cackled. “You’ve got poor peanut here limping around the party. What did you do to him?”

 

“None of your business,” Liam said and picked up his drink. Zayn turned around and smiled a little. They had rejoined everyone else at the party after spending more than an hour upstairs where Zayn had found himself reduced to tears with the exquisite torture and pleasure Liam had put him through, as he teased him non-stop before finally fucking him rough and fast which made them both come hard. Zayn swore he had seen stars. Only Liam could do this to him.

 

He looked over at Liam and the man was already grinning at him and when he winked, Zayn smiled back widely. They were standing near the bar with Miguel, Niall, Tom as everyone drank and Zayn sipped his water. He leaned into Liam’s side feeling tired and languid. Liam kissed his head and held him securely with a thumb rubbing his hip.

 

“Nah, I’m just looking out for Zayn,” Miguel said jokingly. “Who knows what your kinky ass is inflicting on him.”

 

“Everything I want,” Zayn mumbled and when everyone laughed and Niall gave a low wolf-whistle, Zayn flushed deeply.

 

“Well regardless, if you need me to ever kick Liam’s ass on your behalf just say the word. We like you more than Liam anyways so you’ve got like ten brothers who will fuck up Liam or anyone up on your behalf,” Miguel said and ruffled Zayn’s hair.

 

“Well I don’t have any brothers so thanks Miguel,” Zayn laughed.

 

“Don’t underestimate Zayn. He literally turned down some horny fuck trying to pick him up earlier with the sassiest and funniest response I’ve ever heard,” Tom said with a loud laugh. Zayn felt a squeeze on his hip and he looked up to see Liam shooting him a curious look.

 

“It was nothing,” Zayn said with a low groan.

 

_Zayn swallowed some of his coke and giggled at the story Niall was telling. They were with Ameera and Tom and were standing on the balcony part of the casino where there was a bar. They were having drinks as Niall recounted the tale of meeting Ameera’s parents and embarrassing himself._

_“Meemz your dad is so intimidating! You can’t blame me!” Niall argued._

_“My dad teaches English Lit. He’s practically a teddy bear. How was he intimidating?” Ameera laughed loudly._

_Zayn grinned and turned around to ask the bartender for another coke when he saw a man staring at him. He was probably in his mid-thirties and he was attractive in a distant sort of way since Zayn never found himself getting attracted to anyone else since Liam. The man had dark hair and a beard and he ran his hand through his hair as he grinned at Zayn. He signalled the bartender and said something which prompted her to deposit a coke in front of Zayn._

_“So you don’t drink?” The man asked as he came up to Zayn._

_“No,” Zayn replied and ignored the coke the man had gotten for him because he didn’t know what he wanted from him._

_“You’re not like 17 are you?” The man chuckled._

_“I’ll be twenty in three months,” Zayn answered and cleared his throat slightly._

_“Hmm. Well may I ask what brought you here?” The man asked as he dragged his eyes over Zayn’s body in an obvious manner. Zayn felt uncomfortable and he tightened his hands into fists._

_“Maybe I like to gamble,” Zayn said with a shrug._

_“Did you win anything?” The man asked._

_“I don’t have the kind of money you need to gamble away at an establishment like this,” Zayn replied._

_“True. I think Liam Payne did an nice job with this place but it is very seven stars and all so you’d need thickly lined pockets or a sharp brain to play here. Guess it’s mostly just for him to add another shiny piece of work to his collection of luxury establishments,” the man said. Zayn bit his lip and held back the ‘that’s my boyfriend you’re talking about you asshole’ that was on the verge of spilling out._

_“So then what brought you here Sir? The thickly lined pockets or sharp brain?” Zayn asked, playing it innocently._

_“Both,” he replied a little haughtily. “And please… call me Julian. I’m about to join a game of poker. Would you care to join me? I’ll let you play a hand. Or any game you want.”_

_Zayn held back his full body shudder. “No thank you.”_

_“Well do you want to just go somewhere more quiet? I have a room on the 20 th floor,” Julian said with a grin like it was supposed to entice Zayn. The 20th floor did have the luxury suites so Zayn assumed this man must be rich enough to be there. But Zayn couldn’t help but laugh internally because this man had no idea that Zayn was residing on the top most floor._

_“Thanks, but no thanks. I have a room,” Zayn said._

_“Oh really? Which floor?” Julian asked curiously._

_“The penthouse,” Zayn replied casually. “You see my boyfriend has the best view up there and no other floor compares to that. So if I needed some quiet time, I could just go up there whenever I wanted. As for your first offer, I don’t want to play right now because I simply choose not to otherwise if I wanted to, I can go sit at any game I wanted to and play free of charge because lucky for me my boyfriend owns this place. So thanks but no thanks, I don’t need your money to play or your room to get some space.”_

_Zayn watched Julian’s face get covered with a flush. “You- your boyfriend… is Liam Payne?”_

_“Yeah,” Zayn replied and Julian opened his mouth again for a second before he quickly rushed away. Zayn rolled his eyes and turned back to where the others were and he noticed that all three of them were staring at him._

_“You fucking sassy little minx,” Niall snorted with laughter. “That man stank of desperation and he was looking at you like he wanted to eat you. I was one second away from stepping in but looks like you’ve got these losers handled.”_

_“This sounds kind of horrible, but do you know how slightly powerful it feels to say Liam Payne is my boyfriend?” Zayn said with a giggle. “I’m not one to exploit stuff but that line is fun to say when people are being really fucking annoying.”_

_“Oh trust me, I’ve used the ‘I’m Liam Payne’s assistant’ to get a lot of shit done for myself,” Ameera laughed._

_“And now like I told that man I would, I’m going to play something… for free,” Zayn said with a grin and walked off._

“Julian? Tall… blue eyes… dark hair… creepy aura?” Liam asked with a furrowed brow as Zayn finished recounting the tale.

 

“Yeah,” Zayn said.

“Yeah he’s the CEO of Madison Designs. I guess mass invites for the grand opening brought in some desperate fuckers as well,” Liam said with a roll of his eyes. “Well he probably won’t be showing me his face again.”

 

“He’s trying to seduce you with the 20th floor when your ass is living up in the penthouse like a pampered sugar baby,” Tom laughed loudly and the others cracked up too.

 

“Hey!” Zayn objected and smacked Tom’s arm who tugged Zayn into a headlock before ruffling his hair.

 

“Want us to fuck him up?” Miguel asked half-jokingly, but half serious.

 

“Relax guys. Why are you all such alpha males?” Zayn chastised while rolling his eyes. “I scared him off. Apparently mentioning Liam’s name had him crawl away like a spooked animal.” Zayn grinned and walked back into Liam’s arms to rest tiredly against his chest. Liam’s arms were strong as they came around him and Zayn breathed in his scent. Liam kissed his head and let his lips linger as Zayn felt his body unwind.

 

“After-after party up in the penthouse?” Niall asked Liam.

 

“Sure. Let everyone else know,” Liam said. “Me and Zayn will see you up there.”

 

“See you in a bit bro. Don’t let us walk in on you fucking Zayn tied to the bed,” Miguel joked. “Although….”

 

“You’re so gross Miguel. What would your mother say if she knew your mind was consistently in the gutter?” Zayn chided and smacked his arm.

 

“She’d say, que dios me ayude,” Miguel laughed with a glint in his eyes.

 

“I love your mom,” Liam said with a grin and he took Zayn’s hand to press a kiss to it before they walked away.

 

 

**

 

 

“Ray! Ray! Rhaegar Malik-Payne! Where are you?!”

 

Zayn coughed and dragged his tired body up the stairs as he called out for Ray. He couldn’t find his little kitten anywhere and he was starting to worry. He hadn’t been feeling well all day, for the past few days actually, and had started to doze off on the sofa in the living room while Ray cuddled close by. But when Zayn had woken up a little while ago, Ray had disappeared and he couldn’t find him anywhere. At first he hadn’t panicked, but when Ray wouldn’t emerge even when Zayn had called his name, it made him worry.

 

“Ray!” Zayn called out again as he peeked into his and Liam’s bedroom and found no sign of the cat. Zayn was about to walk over to his study room and check in there when the door to Liam’s office opened and Liam poked his head out, his phone in his hand.

 

“What’s wrong baby? I’m on a conference call and one of the ladies would like to know why you’re calling out for the dead Targaryen prince?” Liam asked with a grin.

 

“Sorry jaan, I didn’t mean to disturb you. I can’t find our son,” Zayn croaked, his throat aching from the soreness the cold had brought and yelling out for Ray.

 

“A certain furry trouble-maker has been keeping me company in here for a half hour,” Liam smiled and pushed the door open completely to point at Ray who was just sitting on the carpet and lazily licking his paw.

 

“Bubs…” Zayn said with a sigh and walked in to pick Ray up. “Why are you bothering Daddy?”

 

“Why are _you_ not resting?” Liam asked pointedly and placed a hand against his forehead and when he felt how warm it was, he gave Zayn a look and kissed his nose. “Go lie down Zayn. I’ll be with you as soon as I’m done.”

 

“Mmmph.” Zayn wrapped his arms tightly around Liam and burrowed his face into the soft warmth of Liam’s hoodie. “I wanna cuddle.” The fever and cold made him feel worn out and a little cranky and he just wanted Liam to hold him and cuddle him till he felt better.

 

“I’ll cuddle the shit out of you as soon as I’m done, I promise. I had to put them on hold but it shouldn’t be long. Get under the covers and I’ll bring you soup and a sandwich,” Liam said gently and pressed kisses across his warm forehead.

 

“Chicken noodle soup with hot sauce and a grilled cheese sandwich,” Zayn said and wrinkled his nose as Liam pecked his forehead. He hugged Liam once more before he picked up Ray and left the room to go to their bedroom. Zayn flipped back the thick white duvet and burrowed into Liam’s side of the bed and cocooned himself into the comforter and the furry throw blanket on top. He put Ray down beside him and the kitten immediately curled into his stomach like he always loved to do and Zayn stroked his fur while turning his face into Liam’s pillow. It smelled like the man and it made Zayn feel better immediately, his body always unwinding in the presence of Liam’s comforting scent.

 

Zayn had started dozing off again amongst cold chills and an ache in his bones when he felt a cool hand gently stroke his jaw. He peeked out from under the covers to see that Liam was sat beside him on the bed. Zayn rolled over in his cocoon of covers until his upper body was in Liam’s lap and his face was pushed into Liam’s stomach. Liam ran a hand through his hair and bent to kiss his cheek.

 

“Angel, I think you’re getting worse. You need to go to the doctor,” Liam told him in a soft, concerned tone. Zayn shook his head because he knew it would be a waste of time. The doctor would tell him to take Tylenol and drink lots of fluids. He could do that from home. Liam sighed and kissed his head again before he took Zayn’s arms to help him sit up. Zayn whined tiredly but Liam just pressed another soothing kiss to his temple. He lifted a tray from the bedside table and settled it into his lap.

 

“Here baby,” Liam said as he lifted some soup in the spoon and blew on it lightly before he offered it to Zayn.

 

Zayn smiled weakly and moved forward to drink it. “I didn’t know billionaires spoon-fed their boyfriends in their down-time,” Zayn struggled to get out over a cough.

 

“They do when their boyfriends look so adorable when they’re sick,” Liam teased and smiled as he rubbed Zayn’s leg over the pile of blankets. He picked up the sandwich and held it to Zayn’s mouth so he could bite it. It bothered his throat but he swallowed it and burrowed back against the pillows as his body ached terribly.

 

“You can’t go to class tomorrow like this,” Liam said.

 

“No I have to. I have a mid-term test and my professor is a jerk he won’t let me write it again,” Zayn replied.

 

“Zayn –” Liam started to say with a pointed look.

 

“I have to Li. But I’ll skip my shift at the café,” Zayn explained. He still worked part-time in the café even as he was in his second year now because they had flexible hours for him and he enjoyed working with Louis. But starting next semester he would have some part-time work as a lab assistant and he could quit the café which was something he was looking forward to. No more rude customers and cleaning up spilt milk. He could be doing something he was passionate about. And he needed time to focus on his classes and begin MCAT preparation if he wanted to write it in his senior year.

 

“You can be stubborn but I know it’s just because you’re so dedicated,” Liam said with a sigh and fond smile. Zayn smiled back tiredly and let Liam feed him the rest of the soup and sandwich before he gave Zayn some Tylenol to take. Then he fluffed his pillows and rearranged his blankets. “But I will force you to the doctor tomorrow if you get worse. I hate seeing you like this. You should sleep now love.”

 

“Cuddles,” Zayn said with a pout. He blinked his eyes sadly at Liam and the man grinned and tugged his bottom lip free from his mouth before he kissed his head. Liam made to move across the bed and sit on the other side but Zayn made an impatient sound in the back of his throat and leaned forward. Liam smiled as he understood and slipped in behind him so Zayn could settle in between the V of his legs and curl against his chest.

 

“Surely this isn’t more comfortable than actually lying down on the bed?” Liam joked and ran fingers through Zayn’s thick hair as it lay across his forehead. As Zayn’s hair grew longer and fluffier around his head it went into its naturally curly state. Liam always told him how much he adored it and Zayn absolutely loved it when Liam carded fingers through it and sent tingles down his spine.

 

“Better than any bed,” Zayn murmured and tried to push himself further into Liam.

 

“Hey,” Liam said softly and tilted his face up. When Zayn blinked at him curiously Liam leaned down and kissed him gently.

 

“You’ll get sick jaan,” Zayn said with a sniffle.

 

“It’ll be worth it,” Liam responded with a smile and kissed him again. “Do you want to sleep?”

 

“Can we just watch some TV? I’m not exactly sleepy,” Zayn hummed and shook as a cough wracked his body. Liam rubbed his back soothingly and then moved his hand under Zayn’s shirt to rub his stomach as he picked up the remote for the TV. He dimmed the lights from the universal remote and put some Friends on Netflix after Zayn asked for it.

 

Zayn didn’t remember when he fell asleep, the last thing he remembered was laughing at the part of the Thanksgiving episode when Chandler was in a box with Liam’s hands rubbing warmth into him, and the next second he was being turned gently onto the bed. The lights and TV were completely off and Liam was already shirtless and ready for bed.

 

“Li can you turn my alarm for 8 a.m. on?” Zayn slurred tiredly. Liam took Zayn’s phone and unlocked it to turn on his alarm and slid it back under his pillow. He pressed a few kisses across Zayn’s face and then settled in behind him and draped an arm over his waist to hold him securely.

 

“If you’re not better tomorrow, I’m taking you to the doctor,” Liam said in a low voice and rubbed his hip. Zayn nodded sleepily and pushed back into Liam’s arms. “Good night angel.”

 

“Night jaan,” Zayn murmured. “Night Ray,” Zayn called out to the cat who had settled at the foot of the bed.

 

 

**

 

The medicine, soup and Liam’s warm cuddles must have really helped because as Zayn walked out of his class after writing the test, his body was feeling much better. Liam had been texting him all day asking him if he was feeling better and the man seemed ready to drop his work for the day and rush over if Zayn said he was worse. It had made him smile when he realized that Liam just cared too much for him. He had taken the free time he had after class, since he had already called in sick to work, to go visit Harry and Louis. They had moved into a tiny studio apartment when second year started. Zayn had moved in with Liam back in January right after Liam had asked him. Harry had been upset with him for a while but then Louis had shifted into Zayn’s place in the dorm room and the curly haired boy had been more than happy to have his boyfriend with him. In the start of second year, the two boys had found a nice little place to rent close enough to college. Harry’s YouTube career was flourishing and provided him with more than enough to rent the place and with Louis’ small café income as well, the two were able to live a steady life. 

 

Zayn let himself into the place with his key and was hit with the smell of freshly baked cookies. Zayn kicked off his shoes and turned into the kitchen to find Harry pulling a tray out of the oven. Zayn crept up behind him and hugged him quickly which made Harry scream. “Hazzle pants!”

 

“You fucking bitch!” Harry screamed. “You scared the fuck out of me.”

 

As Zayn started laughing Louis came running into the kitchen with a towel around his waist. “What happened!”

 

“This little shit scared me,” Harry said and smacked Zayn’s head. “But nice to know that if a serial killer had snuck up on me you would come running in a towel and using shampoo as a weapon.” Harry rolled his eyes at the bottle of shampoo in Louis’ hand. Louis grinned and pressed a kiss to Harry’s cheek before he hugged Zayn.

 

“I thought you were dying of the flu?” Louis asked.

 

“It was a fever and cold. But I feel better I think,” Zayn said and hopped on the counter to nibble on one of Harry’s cookies. “You guys going to class?”

 

“I have class and then work. Haz is a lucky bitch who has Mondays off,” Louis replied as he walked out into their living area where he pulled some pants out from the wardrobe.

 

“I’m shooting my Halloween video today. It’s how to make vegan cupcakes for Halloween,” Harry said.

 

“Oh! What are you guys dressing as for the party?” Zayn asked. He and Liam were throwing a Halloween party at their place on the 31st and Zayn was nervous. He had taken on a lot of the hosting duties for himself and Ameera had helped him out. He wanted it to go well. They had hired people to do the decorations and food but just the sheer work that went into a party this large was exhausting. Zayn had never hosted anything this big, or anything at all really, before and he was anxious as hell.

 

“We’re going as Marge and Homer Simpson,” Harry told him with a dimpled grin.

 

“Brilliant,” Zayn said and laughed.

 

“You?” Harry asked. “Are you and Liam going as the two from Game of Thrones again? Instead of moping you’ll get to fuck in the costumes this time.”

 

“No Haz,” Zayn said and rolled his eyes. “It’s a couples costume in a way but I made it so myself. I’m going as Aladdin and Liam will be Flynn Rider and we’ll be the gay Disney princes the world never got.”

 

Harry laughed and squeezed his face gently. “Simple but creative.” Zayn smiled and looked down at his phone as it buzzed with a text notification.

 

**From Jaan: I’m home already, some work stuff to do. Should I order something for dinner and do you need soup?**

**To Jaan: I’ll be home soon and I’ll pick up some Chinese on my way. And eww no more soup :(**

**From Jaan: Lol okay cutie :) See you. Love you.**

**To Jaan: Love you more!**

“I’m gonna head out. I’ll see you at the party if not tomorrow yeah?” Zayn said and hugged Harry.

 

“Stay for a bit,” Harry urged with a pout.

 

“I have to go home and write ten pages for an assignment,” Zayn sighed. “And maybe squeeze in some well deserved I-finally-kicked-my-cold-sex since Liam is home early.”

 

“Get your freak on babe,” Harry chuckled. “Who would have imagined that when our high school selves made plans to live together throughout our years in college and have all sorts of crazy fun and fuck cute random college boys, we’d both end up in serious committed relationships with our respective boyfriends and living with them instead of each other.”

 

“First off, _you_ made plans to fuck random guys and I specifically said I would not be indulging and would be focusing on school,” Zayn said with a grin. “But still… life works in mysterious ways”

 

“For all the right reasons,” Harry smiled and looked over at Louis who was on their bed and typing on his laptop.

 

“For the best reasons,” Zayn added with a bright smile and his stomach warmed at the mere thought of Liam. His everything.

 

“Okay. I should go,” Zayn said with a sigh and hugged both the boys before he left with a reminder to the two of them to arrive early at the party to help out.

 

 

**

 

 

“Jaan?” Zayn called out as he entered the front door. He heard no reply and he toed off his shoes before he left the food and his backpack in the kitchen. He heard Liam’s voice coming from the living room and a grin covered his face as he moved towards the room. One thought and one singular thought had been in his mind as he took the subway home. He had been gross and sick for two days and Liam had only given him the tiniest of pecks, instead insisting that Zayn needed rest. Now that Zayn felt a little better, he knew what he wanted, more like needed.

 

“Li?” Zayn yelled.

 

“In here,” Liam called back.

 

“Babe I’m home,” Zayn called out as he unbuttoned his pants and left them in the hallway and walked to the living room in just his jumper and socks. He saw Liam standing by the entrance and he smiled. “And now that I’ve kicked this cold, I want you to fuck me and fuck me real good because I feel empty without you.”

 

Zayn jumped onto Liam and wrapped his limbs around him like a koala. Liam was staring at him in silent shock as Zayn smiled cheekily and kissed him heatedly.

 

“Zayn…” Liam murmured. Zayn felt confused at his reaction and when Liam stepped aside he realized why. Zayn almost fell to the ground in shock. Four complete strangers sat on the sofas in the living room, their mouths agape as they stared at him. There were papers and laptops in front of them and Zayn realized Liam’s ‘work stuff’ meant a full-on meeting at home.

 

“Umm...” Zayn stuttered. He had never felt such morbid embarrassment in his life. He wished the ground would open up so he could slither in and then it could close with him inside. He looked at Liam with wide eyes, who in turn looked like he was battling between shock and the urge to laugh. Zayn slipped away from Liam and started walking backwards feeling his cheeks redden. “I- I’ll just go. S-sorry.”

 

Zayn turned around and ran like his life depended on it. He tripped over his own feet and grabbed his discarded pants to run up the stairs to their bedroom. He collapsed onto the bed and turned his face into a pillow to let out an embarrassed groan. He hadn’t filled his quota of embarrassment in a few weeks, things were going well, so the universe must have decided he had it too easy and wanted to fuck him over. He had never been this mortified in his life. The only thing that came close was when he when he had dropped the cake after getting hired at RED. After cursing himself out in both English and Urdu, and even the few French curse words Liam had taught him, he went over to the bathroom to shower and change.

 

When he had washed away most of his embarrassment, he walked out of the bathroom while drying off his hair with a towel. The door opened and Liam entered with a barely contained grin on his face. He looked like he was holding back laughter. Zayn paused in the center of the room and stared ay Liam as his cheeks heated up again. Liam closed the room door and leaned against it as his face stretched into a teasing smirk.

 

“Li…” Zayn pushed out slowly.

 

“That was one hell of an entrance baby,” Liam snorted and moved towards him.

 

“I’m so, so, so sorry,” Zayn moaned and collapsed against Liam when the man hugged him as he chuckled. “I had no idea you had people over. You should have told me!”

“How could I have known that you would drop your clothes and come in asking for me to fuck you?” Liam exclaimed with a laugh. He moved Zayn back and grinned at hm. Zayn groaned and smacked his chest in annoyance as his cheeks heated up.

 

“They probably think I’m some horny idiot who’s ready to get naked and fuck at any second of the day,” Zayn whined.

 

“You’re not. And they don’t think so either,” Liam reassured him with a kiss. “Asha called you gorgeous and Ivan… well Ivan called me a lucky bastard and said I’m lucky to have someone so passionate about me whereas his wife hasn’t even kissed him in 6 months.”

 

Liam was grinning and Zayn couldn’t help his own smile even as his cheeks pinked. “That’s so sad,” Zayn replied.

 

“Yeah well… I said I am indeed the luckiest man on the planet,” Liam replied and kissed him gently but slowly turned it a little deeper. Zayn hummed and wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck as the man guided him by his hips to the bed. They fell down in a heap and Zayn ran his hands under Liam’s shirt to run his fingers over the man’s torso. His chest was hard rock and his well-defined abs were something that would never fail to make Zayn’s body heat up with desire.

 

“I don’t think I can attend any work events with you for a while though because if I run into those people, I’ll be embarrassed out of my mind,” Zayn said.

 

“Don’t be dramatic my love,” Liam chuckled and kissed his cheekbone as he ran tender fingers across his jaw. “Are you feeling better?”

“For the most part. That’s why I was excited to see you,” Zayn said with a smile.

 

“Oh yeah?” Liam grinned and kissed him gently. “Well I’m glad that your cold has been shaken enough that your energy is back but you still need to take it a little easy. Let’s eat dinner and get in bed and then I’m all yours.”

 

“Oh Li, just to remind you, can you come home a little early tomorrow because the decorators will be over and I’ll need some help. We need to set up the roof for the party. And the caterers will bring the food here but we’ll need to pick up the desserts from the bakery ourselves,” Zayn said as Liam kissed down his neck.

 

“Patrick will grab them. Are you still keeping the costumes under wraps?” Liam asked.

 

“You can see them on the day. Yours too,” Zayn replied with a teasing smile.

 

“A devil. But a cute devil,” Liam murmured and kissed him.

 

“I’m hungry,” Zayn protested with a laugh and pushed Liam away.

 

“I thought you were horny,” Liam teased with a dark glint in his eyes.

 

“Food first!” Zayn laughed and rolled away swiftly. He shot Liam a smile as the man chuckled and then Zayn turned around and ran downstairs.

 

 

 

**

 

“Oh my, you look hot!”

 

Zayn grinned as Ameera tugged him into a hug and kissed all over his face. Zayn laughed and squirmed away from her hold. “Meemz! You’re getting red lipstick all over my face!”

 

“Sorry darling. Didn’t mean to ruin your flawless little face,” Ameera teased and squeezed his arm before she set down a tray of Jell-O shots on the kitchen counter.

 

Zayn rolled his eyes although he was smiling and went back to the task he had been doing. He had a chalkboard in front of himself and he was using coloured chalk to write out the names of the Halloween cocktails they were serving that night and doing little sketches beside it. The bartender they had hired for the night had offered to write it out but Zayn wanted to do some little drawings beside it to spruce it up. The party had pretty much started and people had slowly started trickling in a while ago. Zayn was in the kitchen, already in his costume, when Ameera had come in. She had come over with Niall earlier to help set some stuff up but Zayn had left them all a while ago to change and set up the kitchen with food. Right then Ameera had come down in her leather costume as Angelina Jolie from Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Niall as her counterpart.

 

Zayn tugged on his purple vest and felt a little uncomfortable because his chest and arms were completely on display which was something he never did unless he was on the beach in shorts. He had the white Aladdin pants underneath and he had styled his hair to fall in soft waves framing his face and one loose strand on his forehead. He had the red hat on as well. He hadn’t seen Liam yet, since they had both been busy, and he had just handed off the Flynn Rider costume to the man earlier with a smile.

 

“Liam looks good too.” Ameera nudged him with a smile as she moved past him to lay out napkins.

 

“Liam _always_ looks good,” Zayn said with a grin. “Should be illegal.”

 

Ameera laughed and squeezed his face fondly. “Your twist on a Disney couples costume is rather cute. You’ll win the best couples costume prize.”

 

Zayn had decided on making a prize for whoever had the best couples costume that night and although he had been nervous that adults, and the kind of social circle Liam ran in, wouldn’t care about prizes, Liam had assured him they would. After some back and forth, Liam had bought the prizes and they had ended up with Rolex watches for whoever won. “Me and Liam don’t count for the prizes since we’re the hosts. It wouldn’t make sense.”

 

“Well then me and Haz will win,” Louis said as he walked in. Zayn cackled as he got a full look at Louis’ costume. The two boys had decided to go as Marge and Homer Simpson and Louis was Marge and Harry Homer. Louis looked perfect with the tall hair and he had even covered himself in yellow body paint and put the dress on.

 

“Oh man,” Zayn laughed and wiped his tears. “I will definitely vote for you two.”

 

“You have automatically won every Halloween to come,” Ameera said and high-fived Louis.

 

“Zee your bartender wants the board,” Louis said.

 

“Okay. See you guys in a bit. Lou, keep a light hand on the Jell-O shots you can’t control the vodka you know that,” Zayn warned as he walked out. He heard Louis scoff behind him and he knew the boy wouldn’t heed his warning.

 

When Zayn got to the roof he was surprised at how filled it already was. Seemed like most people had headed straight upstairs. Everyone was in amazing costumes and with the mist machine and intense blue spotlights, the atmosphere was perfectly in theme. People were dancing on the deck and the bar was already crowded. Zayn hurried over and handed the bartender the chalkboard so he could hang it up and let people see the list of special cocktails.

 

“Oh it’s the cutest costume of tonight!” Zayn turned around and was immediately engulfed in a hug from Shalini. Zayn smiled and squeezed her before he moved back and looked at her Britney Spears ‘One More Time’ costume which made him grin.

 

“It’s not supposed to be cute Shaloo! I’m supposed to be a handsome prince. Aladdin?” Zayn pouted and turned around slowly to show off his costume.

 

“Don’t worry Zaynie. You’ll always be the most handsome man in the room. Sexy too,” Shalini teased and kissed his cheek.

 

“Tasha here too?” Zayn asked.

 

“Yeah she’s with Harry somewhere,” Shalini said. “Listen… I’m going to get a drink and then maybe find some courage to talk to that fine-ass man over there.” Shalini smiled and Zayn followed her line of sight to see that she was looking at a group of guys by the far end of the bar.

 

“The buzz-cut one in the Deadpool costume?” Zayn asked. When Shalini nodded, he grinned and patted her arm. “If I remember correctly that is Liam’s old friend from NYU, one of his frat brothers actually. His name is Trey and he’s a firefighter now.”

 

“A man in a uniform,” Shalini squeaked and squeezed Zayn’s hand.

 

“Good luck babe. If you want, Liam can introduce you,” Zayn offered.

 

“You’ll have to give me a few minutes.” She kissed his cheek and went over to the bar to get a drink. Zayn smiled and moved through the crowd in search of Liam. Where was his Disney prince? Zayn spotted Miguel, Josh, Luke and Gabe with a few other people by the pool and he made his way over.

 

“Looking good Zayn,” Josh said and gave him a hug.

 

“Thanks,” Zayn replied and flushed a little when everyone looked at him.

 

“You did a good job with the party peanut,” Miguel said as he hugged him in greeting.

 

“Thanks Miguel. Have you guys seen Liam?” Zayn asked.

 

“Li was with some people over by the deck last I saw him,” Miguel answered.

 

“Thank you!” Zayn went over to the deck and tried to look through the crowd of people dancing for Liam. He couldn’t spot him anywhere. Zayn moved over towards the group of roof chairs near the edge where the railing curved around and he finally spotted him. Zayn couldn’t help the smile that covered his face because Liam looked so damn handsome. He wore the loose white shirt with an open neck and the sleeves rolled to his elbows, a blue vest on top, brown pants and brown boots. His hair was pushed back and he had the slightest stubble. He was currently smoking and he had a smirk on his face as he shook his head to the story Tom was recounting to the group that sat there.

 

“How much longer will you lie to people Tom? You failed the program. You didn’t get bored and decide to switch,” Niall cut in with a snort.

 

Zayn walked up to them and when Liam looked up at him, his smile got so deep that Zayn felt his body heat up. Liam was very leisurely dragging his eyes down Zayn’s body and when he met his eyes, his brown eyes were dark.

 

“You should come with a warning baby,” Liam said with a small smirk and took Zayn’s hand to tug him down into the small space on the sofa. Zayn hid his grin in Liam’s shoulder and draped an arm over his stomach as the man kissed his forehead.

 

“How have your nipples not already turned to glass in this weather Zayn?” Tom asked in surprise.

 

Zayn looked at him in shock. “What?”

 

“Because it’s so fucking cold and you’re wearing like two inches of cloth,” Tom pointed out.

 

“Don’t look at my boyfriend’s chest,” Liam said and threw a balled-up napkin at Tom. Liam cupped Zayn’s face and kissed him deeply which left Zayn with a ball of warmth in his stomach. “But seriously baby, are you not cold? You look beautiful but I don’t want you to get sick. You’re just getting over your fever.”

 

“I’m good. You look really hot by the way,” Zayn murmured in Liam’s ear and kissed his neck.

 

“Yeah?” Liam asked with a grin and grabbed Zayn’s hips to tug him closer and stitch their lips together in a kiss.

 

“I never thought Flynn Rider and Aladdin could make a hot couple, but you guys proved me wrong.” Harry settled onto the arm of the couch with a grin and flicked Zayn’s hat.

 

“You look…” Liam started laughing as he looked at Harry’s Homer Simpson costume which was quite fitting. Yellow body paint and everything. Zayn smiled at poked at the padding Harry had stuffed in his shirt to make a fake beer belly.

 

“Sexy,” Zayn joked which earned him a pinch to the nipple from Harry. “Ow!”

“Where’s Lou?” Harry asked.

 

“Last I saw, downstairs,” Zayn replied and leaned back against Liam’s side who was kissing his neck. Harry started texting Louis and Zayn stayed curled up against Liam as the man ran gentle fingers through his hair and kissed his bare shoulder or neck every now and then. Niall had started to pack a bowl and soon everyone was smoking it. Zayn didn’t indulge but he liked the way Liam’s lips moved and held the smoke before he blew it up in curls. It was such a stupid thing to get turned on by, but Zayn found himself feeling hot nonetheless.

 

Liam seemed quite relaxed after a bit and his body was sprawled languidly. He turned to Zayn with a slow smile and pinched his chin between a thumb and forefinger to kiss him. Zayn responded with ease and opened his mouth so Liam could slip his tongue in.

 

“I want to shotgun one hit,” Zayn murmured against his mouth.

 

“Sure?” Liam asked.

 

“Yeah it’ll help take the edge off. The party planning has me stressed,” Zayn said. Liam took the pipe from Tom to take a hit and then he tilted Zayn’s face to bring their lips close and when he blew out the smoke, Zayn took it in. He coughed only a little bit and kissed Liam quickly.

 

“You guys get super freaky whenever you shotgun,” Harry snorted with laughter beside them.

 

“Shut up Haz,” Zayn muttered and closed his eyes as Liam kissed along his jaw and nipped it a little. He didn’t even care that they were surrounded by people. Liam’s lips felt so good right now. “Can I show you something downstairs Li?” Zayn asked.

 

“Like?” Liam hummed and kissed him lightly.

 

“You’ll see,” Zayn answered shortly. He stood up and took Liam’s hand to tug him up too.

 

“He wants to fuck,” Harry whispered loudly. Zayn pushed him off the sofa and the boy yelped. Liam grinned widely at him and wrapped his arms around Zayn from behind and kissed his neck as they walked forward.

 

“You’re not very subtle angel,” Liam laughed.

 

“Doesn’t matter,” Zayn replied as they descended the stairs. They walked through the scattering of people loitering on the second floor and got to their bedroom. Zayn pushed it open and as soon as they were in Liam lifted him off his feet and pushed him against the closed doors. Zayn half laughed and half gasped as Liam started kissing and biting his neck. Reaching back, Zayn locked the door.

 

Then he pushed at Liam’s shoulder to get him to go towards the bed. Liam wrapped arms around his bare waist and pulled him forward as he walked back to the bed. He fell back on it with Zayn on top and Zayn started kissing down his neck. He pushed open the blue vest and unbuttoned Liam’s shirt to kiss his chest. Zayn ran his tongue along Liam’s nipple piercing and the man groaned. Zayn looked up at him and was met with Liam’s dark and heavy gaze.

 

“Why the hesitation now Aladdin? Nervous?” Liam teased and ran a hand through Zayn’s hair, and he realized his hat had dropped somewhere on the roof.

 

“Nope. Just admiring. I’ll rock your world like Rapunzel could never dreaming of doing. You’ll forget all about her long golden hair and green eyes. When you leave this room tonight you’ll only know of dark hair and hazel eyes. I could show you a whole new world,” Zayn murmured with a smile and kissed Liam’s chest.

 

Liam grinned and quickly flipped them over so he could press Zayn into the mattress. Zayn moaned a little as Liam pushed open his vest to trace his chest. “Ask for your three wishes. And choose carefully darling,” Liam said jokingly but his eyes were dark.

 

“Hmmm…” Zayn licked his lips and blinked slowly at Liam. “One, kiss me like your life depends on it, two, use your strong gorgeous hands to explore my body, and then three, fuck me like all the answers you ever need in life are in my body.”

 

“Only you can go from teasing and horny to sappy and romantic in the flip of a second,” Liam said with a smile as he leaned down to kiss Zayn.

 

“You love it,” Zayn replied with a giggle. Liam nipped his lower lip and Zayn ran his hands under Liam’s loosened shirt to run his fingertips down the man’s back.

 

“That I do,” Liam hummed and sucked on his collarbone hard enough to leave a mark. Zayn whimpered a little and his back arched off the bed in response to Liam’s touch. “I love every little thing about you.”

 

“Then grant me my wishes or I’ll find someone willing,” Zayn teased and Liam bit his neck.

 

“You could try but no one could make you moan so prettily like I do baby,” Liam answered with a smirk and squeezed his hips before he started kissing down his torso.

 

“Hmm. I dunno. There’s this guy up there, dressed like a boxer, and his entire torso is on display and he’s really, really hot. I could ask him- what –” Zayn looked over at Liam in confusion who had rolled off Zayn and was lying on the bed beside him. His head was resting on his arm and his hand was stroking himself over his pants.

 

“Go on. Tell me more about your mystery crush,” Liam prodded, although his eyes had a playful glint. He continued to stroke himself and Zayn frowned. His own body was heating up just by looking at Liam. His sculpted body on display, the lifted brow, the hand on his crotch.

 

“He definitely wouldn’t tease me this much,” Zayn said with a pout.

 

“Who’s teasing you?” Liam asked with a small smirk as he began to unlace his own pants.

 

“Looks like you’ve got yourself covered jaan. I’ll go find Mr. Green Eyes,” Zayn said and made to move off the bed.  He had only moved a fraction off the bed when his waist was grabbed and he was yanked back onto the bed. Zay dissolved into giggles as Liam pressed him into the bed to kiss him breathless.

 

“I don’t think so,” Liam said with a smile and kissed along his jaw.

 

“I’ve got many suitors Eugene so if you want to keep me pleased you should get a move on,” Zayn said with a cocked eyebrow.

 

“Who the fuck is Eugene?” Liam asked in confusion.

 

“Flynn Rider’s birth name!” Zayn broke out into laughter and started shaking underneath Liam which prompted the man to start laughing too.

 

“A tragedy to be born with a name like that,” Liam said and ducked his head to start kissing Zayn’s neck.

 

“Well we can’t all have cool names like Aladdin,” Zayn replied and wrapped his arms and legs around Liam as the man kissed leisurely down his neck.

 

“Well Aladdin you promised to show me a whole new world. I think you should ride me like I know you were born to do,” Liam said and flipped them around so Zayn was on top of him.

 

“Well the only thing I’ve ever ridden is my magic carpet so –” Zayn stopped himself and flushed a little as he saw Liam visibly holding back laughter. “Fuck off. I can’t do dirty talk.”

 

“No, no, no!” Liam laughed and wrapped Zayn up in his arms to kiss his pouted lips. “It’s cute. You’re cute.”

 

“You won’t think that for much longer,” Zayn said and pushed Liam so he would lay back against the pillows. He grinned at the man who was smiling brightly already and started kissing down his chest. He knew Liam’s body better than his own now and he definitely knew how to make the man speechless with his hands and tongue. He planned on riding Liam senseless, but not before teasing him nice and slow with his mouth like the man had tried to do to him.

 

 

**

 

 

**Three Years Later**

_‘And today’s forecast shows an eighty-percent chance of rain. If you’ve got plans to take a picnic out to Central Park, I advise you to stay indoors ladies and gentlemen, unless if you’d like to be soaked thoroughly. In other news, the sixth Avengers movie is set to release this weekend and early reviews are already calling it incredible and a must-see…’_

“This is it,” Zayn whispered. “This is what you’ve been waiting for. This is the end to one chapter of your life. And the beginning of another chapter. It’s gonna be the most exhausting and patience testing chapter of your life but you’ll get there. You achieved this, and you’ll achieve that too.”

Zayn took a deep breath and smiled at himself in the mirror. He ran his fingers through the longer portion of his hair at the front. It was the fluffiest given the fact that he had an undercut and the sides were buzzed off. He used some hairspray to style it back and then set the can down with a shaky breath. He adjusted his purple gown and nodded at himself in the mirror to give himself some encouragement. Then he opened the door to walk out of the bathroom. The news was on in the bedroom and he turned the TV off before he hurried down the stairs towards where he could hear voices.

 

“The man of the hour!”

 

Zayn blushed deeply and grinned as applause erupted around him. He looked around at the faces of his loved ones as they sat around the living room all dressed up. “You guys are too much. I’m just graduating, I’m not running for president,” Zayn mumbled.

 

“Just graduating? You’re graduating top of the Dean’s honour list in your program and you’ve got an early acceptance to Columbia’s medical school! This is a huge moment to celebrate jaan. We’re so proud of you.” Tricia pulled him into a hug as tears covered her face. Zayn tucked his smile into her neck and hugged her back tightly. He looked over his shoulder where he could see his dad smiling so proudly from a few feet away and Zayn held out his hand so Yaser could join the hug. His parents held him tightly until Safaa came running to jump on his back and Zayn pulled away to hug her tightly.

 

“We need to get going if we want to get to our seats on time and Zayn has to be there in a half hour,” Doniya reminded them.

 

“Yes, I can’t be late to my ceremony. I promised myself to try and avoid an anxiety attack today,” Zayn said. “Harry and Lou wanted to meet up before we’re separated into our respective programs ceremonies so I need to leave now.”

 

“Liam’s making sure the cars are all here,” Karen said as she came forward and wrapped Zayn into a hug. Zayn smiled and hugged her back tightly and left a kiss on her cheek. “We’re all so proud of you love.”

 

“Thank you,” Zayn murmured.

 

“Alright, let’s go,” Niall said as he ducked into the living room and waved them all out. “Cars are here and good to go. Liam and Ameera are waiting with them downstairs.”

 

Zayn grabbed his things from the table and took a deep breath. It’s not like he had to give a valedictorian speech or anything but he was still freaking out. He would be walking across a stage in front of hundreds of people and he wanted to throw up. Four years of working his butt off had paid off with exceptional grades, graduating with honours and an early admission to Columbia’s medical school. That last one he was still not over. When he had received the official letter, he had just been getting back from a long day at school and the class he had to TA. He had read it while standing in the foyer of the penthouse and collapsed to the floor in shocked tears. He couldn’t believe it then. He couldn’t believe it now. Liam had found him crying and thought he was genuinely hurt. But no. Zayn’s dreams were coming true. Everything he had spent nights awake for, cried for, prayed for, was coming true.

 

“Zayn?” Zayn looked over to see his dad giving him a curious look. He was the only one left standing in the living room.

 

“Coming,” Zayn said hurriedly and ran forward to walk out with his dad.

 

**

 

“Zayn Malik.”

 

Zayn clenched his sweaty fists tightly as he walked across the stage. He could hear loud screams, whistles and applause and he knew it was his family and friends. He didn’t look at them though in case he stumbled. He kept his eyes locked on the Dean as he strode forward and took his diploma while shaking the Dean’s hand. He shook a few more people’s hands and smiled politely at them as they congratulated him before he walked off the stage and the next student was being announced.

 

“Oh my God,” Zayn breathed as he walked back to his seat on shaky legs. Shalini was grinning at him from a few rows down. Zayn smiled back at her. In these past few years she’d become another best friend to him like Louis and Harry were. And she was coming to Columbia with him in September and Zayn was thrilled he’d have her there. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even realize the ceremony was over and the graduates were making their way back down the aisle. Everyone threw their caps in the air and Zayn threw his own up with a grin as a heavy weight simultaneously flew off his shoulders. He laughed as Shalini attacked him with a hug.

 

They moved to the backstage area where they could leave to the football field and meet their family and friends and take pictures. Zayn said a quick hello to Shalini’s parents before he left her to go find his own family. Zayn pushed his way through the crowds and read a text from Waliyha which said everyone was near the bleachers. He started walking towards them and the first person he saw was Liam. He was dressed in a completely black suit and his hair was styled back and his beard was thicker right now like Zayn loved. Zayn felt his heartbeat quicken and it still surprised him that even after 4 years with Liam, the man still took his breath away.

 

Liam had spotted him and he was grinning widely. Zayn started running towards him as his purple gown flew behind him. Zayn jumped right into Liam’s arms and wrapped his arms and legs around the man as he spun him around.

 

“I did it! I did it! I did it!” Zayn yelled and laughed breathlessly.

 

“I’m so fucking proud of you angel. You have achieved so much and you’re going to continue to achieve so much and I love you so fucking much,” Liam said before he pressed kisses all over his face. Zayn smiled and let Liam tug him into a kiss. He melted into the man’s touch and could have continued kissing him for hours if he didn’t hear a loud cough. He looked back and saw his family and Liam’s family looking at them with smiles.

 

“Let me be happy today!” Zayn said and wrapped his arms more tightly around Liam and buried his face into the man’s neck. Everyone laughed and Liam set him down with a chuckle. He was swept into a hug by his parents and their happy tears turned him into an emotional mess again. He was all cried out by the time he hugged everyone else as well. His parents spent a good twenty minutes fussing him into different photos of him by himself, with his parents, with Liam (which Liam disrupted by pulling Zayn into a kiss mid-photo and causing him to laugh) and with everyone else.

 

“The reservation is for 2 p.m. we should get going,” Liam said as he wrapped an arm around Zayn’s waist and kissed his head after he finished taking a selfie.

 

“Of course. Harry texted me and said he, Lou and their families will meet us there,” Zayn said. Harry and Louis had already left since their ceremony had finished right before Zayn’s and they weren’t allowed to stay back because of limited seating but he had seen theirs on the television screen projected backstage. They were all going to a celebratory lunch with their families at the restaurant Liam had booked out and he would properly congratulate the boys there. They had done it. They had survived four years of hell together and now they were all moving onto such different chapters in their lives that it ached his heart a little knowing that he and his best friends weren’t going to be a phone call away forever. Neither would they ever be on the same campus together again, or see each other every day again.

 

Harry and Louis were taking a year off to just travel the world. Harry’s YouTube career was better than ever and him and Louis now made travel and food diaries together. Their world travels would be projected on a YouTube Red show and Zayn was so happy for them. When they got back they both had plans to start a small vegan food and coffee shop and Zayn was happier than ever for them. If anyone deserved all the happiness in the world, in his opinion, it was his two best friends. He started medical school in September and he would be officially locked down for years but he had wonderful plans for the summer with Liam and he was already thrumming with excitement.

 

“You’re spacing out baby, let’s go,” Liam interrupted him with a laugh and took his hand to tug him forward.

 

“Oh sorry. I was just thinking about the trip,” Zayn said with a grin and held his diploma tightly in one hand as he gripped Liam’s hand with the other.

 

“Excited?” Liam asked and kissed his head.

 

“Very. Maa wants us all over for tea in Brooklyn after lunch and I couldn’t say no. But at least we’re all packed so we’re good to go tomorrow,” Zayn said.

 

“That’s fine,” Liam said and checked something on his phone. He looked a little distracted and Zayn just pushed it aside thinking that it was work stuff. Liam’s company was starting to build a PC hotel in Dubai and while it was very exciting it had taken Liam away many nights and left Zayn to feel lonely in the penthouse on some nights. But Liam was just accomplishing his dreams like Zayn was and he felt so much pride in the man.

 

As they settled into the backseat of the car, Patrick turned around and grinned at Zayn. “Congratulations my boy.”

 

“Thank you, Patrick,” Zayn said with a wide smile. Zayn felt a squeeze on his hand and he looked up to see Liam grinning at him. He took Zayn’s diploma and gently set it into the magazine holder before he hit the partition button and tugged Zayn into his lap.

 

“So fucking proud of you,” Liam said each word with a kiss to the high points of Zayn’s face. “You are so intelligent and capable and soon you’ll be a successful doctor and honestly my heart cannot contain how proud I am and how happy I am for you. You should be so proud of all your accomplishments.”

 

“Thanks jaan,” Zayn said softly and tucked his face into Liam’s chest. “I am proud of myself. I worked my ass off in undergrad and now I’m in Columbia med school and honestly, I just keep pinching myself. This feels like a dream.”

 

“It’s reality baby. You’re just that amazing,” Liam said with an adoring smile. He cupped Zayn’s face and kissed him deeply. Zayn circled his hands around Liam’s wrists and parted his lips to let Liam’s tongue slip in.

 

“And tomorrow I’ll be in Paris,” Zayn said with a wide smile. “Celebrating me.”

 

“Celebrating your wonderful self,” Liam said and squeezed his face gently before he kissed him again.

 

“Thanks for this gift by the way,” Zayn said and wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck before pecking his lips. “The best graduation gift honestly.” Liam had surprised him a few nights ago by telling him that as a graduation gift for Zayn, they would be travelling for two months. Especially since Zayn was starting school in September, he needed a break. They would go through Europe starting from Paris (now symbolic for them), then Japan, then Australia and finally Dubai where they could check progress on Liam’s new hotel. Zayn was looking forward to seeing all these new places but also being with Liam, away from school and work. In this past year, they hadn’t really travelled anywhere together and school and work had kept them apart for more nights than they both liked. But this was a well-needed break.

 

“You’re welcome my love,” Liam murmured and pressed multiple kisses to his temple. “If anyone deserves this it’s you. For all your tears and hard-work and commitment. You deserve time away.”

 

“And have you all to myself without work getting in between,” Zayn said with a grin.

 

“Ah. Work,” Liam chuckled.

 

“The mistress,” Zayn mumbled and kissed Liam who laughed. Whenever Liam had to travel for work and Zayn had felt especially sad and pouty about it, he had taken to calling Liam’s work ‘the mistress’ which was just a joke since he knew Liam loved him more than his work, but time apart was hard sometimes.

 

“Don’t worry. She’s staying behind,” Liam teased and kissed his cheekbone.

 

“Good. No threesomes are needed in southern Italy,” Zayn said and kissed Liam’s cheek. “Just you and me.”

 

“Mmm,” Liam kissed down his neck and his hands travelled inside Zayn’s graduation gown. There was a knock on the partition which let them know that they had reached the restaurant and Zayn sighed but then he smiled and climbed out the car.

 

“That’s why we have the two months,” Zayn said with a grin and Liam tugged him closer with a smile to kiss him.

 

“To get some dick in peace?” Liam teased.

 

“Yeah,” Zayn replied matter-of-factly. Liam laughed and they walked into the restaurant where the hostess greeted them and led them into the main room. It was empty except for their family and friends since they had booked it out. Zayn ran forward to Harry and Louis who were still in their purple gowns and they fell into a group hug.

 

“We fucking graduated! I thought this day would never come!” Louis shouted in happiness.

 

“Tell me about it,” Zayn said. “The world doesn’t seem black and white anymore.”

 

“More like a weight was fucking lifted,” Harry sighed and kissed Zayn’s forehead. “I can breathe again.”

 

“You guys can breathe again meanwhile I have a few months off and then it’s time for three years of insanity,” Zayn said with a small groan. He was excited beyond all imagination to be in medical school, Columbia on top of that. Those nights of no sleep preparing for the MCAT and losing all sense of a social life, those days working hard for his 4.0 GPA and getting references for admission had all paid off. But it was no lie that he was terrified for the work to come.

 

“You’re going to be great Zayn. If there is anyone who can do it, it’s you,” Louis said and hugged him. “Now I need some champagne.”

 

Zayn smiled and let him go before he turned to Harry and pulled him into a hug again. “We’ve grown up Hazzle Pants,” Zayn whispered, slightly tearful.

 

“I know ZayZay,” Harry replied quietly. The air suddenly felt less happy and more emotional and Zayn squeezed Harry tightly.

 

“I know you’ll be gone tomorrow and then me and Louis are off in four days,” Harry pulled back with a smile. “I won’t see you for like a year and I don’t even want to think about how hard it will be to not see your stupidly gorgeous face every day.” Harry’s voice cracked with tears and Zayn squeezed the boy’s hands as his own eyes welled up. “But I want to give you something.” Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out something shiny and silver. He took Zayn’s wrist and closed the bracelet around the same wrist where his Cartier bracelets sat.

 

Zayn looked down on it and saw ‘Class of 2021’ written on one side and ‘ZayZay+Hazzle’ on the other side. He looked up at Harry with a smile who showed Zayn the matching one on his arm. “I got Louis one with my name and his but this is for us. We’ve been together every step of life since we pushed our way out of our moms and into the world. We haven’t been apart since then. There was no you without me, or me without you. And now… now…” Harry paused to rub at his eyes and Zayn pulled him into a hug again as his own tears flowed out.

 

“Now our paths are officially separating. After years of the same schools and living each day with each other, we’re off to start our lives. Our careers and our love lives… our own paths. I’m proud of us Zay. I’m so proud of us. But never forget this. Never forget us. It’s you and me from the start boo. We’re going to conquer the world babe but never forget that it started with a loud curly haired boy who couldn’t walk straight and a quiet raven haired boy with stupidly pretty eyes, who has grown into the most amazing young man that I am privileged to call my best friend. You’re going to smash it in med school and as a doctor and basically in every corner of life. And I will always be there for you. It’s you and me forever babe,” Harry whispered tearfully.

 

“You’re my jaan,” Zayn croaked tearfully and pulled Harry into another tight hug. “I love you so much Haz. You don’t know what you are to me. You will always remain my platonic soulmate, my other half. I love you to the moon and back. You’re going to be so successful and happy in life and I’m always going to be here to cheer you on. I will always be praying for you and wishing the world for you babe. It’s me and you to the end.”

 

“To the end,” Harry whispered back and they hugged tightly for a few more minutes until Doniya came over to tap on their shoulders and let them know that everyone was starving and ready to order. Zayn kissed Harry’s cheek and hugged him again before they walked back to the extremely long table where everyone was sat. Zayn found his spot beside Liam and as he sat down the man shot him a worried look.

 

“You okay angel?” Liam asked and wiped a tear from his cheek.

 

“Wonderful,” Zayn whispered and lay his head down on Liam’s shoulder as he picked up his menu. Liam wrapped an arm around his waist and kissed his head.

 

“I feel like we’ve all been very emotional and sappy all day long. So let’s keep it short and sweet for now. Here’s to you three, the graduates of 2021, may you always be blessed with happiness, health and success. This is just the beginning boys. Your lives are just starting and you are going to have incredible ones. Your hard work has paid off but never forget that continuing to work hard and finding happiness in all that you do will bring you the joys of life. So, here’s to the rest of your lives.” Yaser smiled as he finished off and raised his water. Everyone lifted their waters or champagnes and shouted ‘to the rest of your lives’ before clinking their glasses. Zayn clinked his with Ruth on his one side and then Liam on his other who pulled him into a chaste kiss. Yeah. If this was the beginning of the rest of his life, Zayn knew he’d be the happiest man on earth.

 

 

**

 

“Long day?”

Liam put two mugs into the sink and kissed Tricia’s head as she smiled at him. She was putting leftover food into boxes and she nodded at him.

 

“Yes but being around family never feels taxing. It was a good day,” Tricia replied with a smile. “Are you headed home?”

 

“We should. We’re meant to fly out at nine in the morning tomorrow. But Zayn is asleep in the living room,” Liam explained with a chuckle.

 

“He’s exhausted, my poor baby,” Tricia said as she wiped her hands on a tea towel.

 

“Well Zayn can sleep through an apocalypse so I was wondering if I could speak with you and Yaser now that everyone is gone?” Liam asked.

 

“Of course darling. What about?” Tricia asked curiously. Liam’s heartbeat quickened as he thought of the million ways he was going to frame his words.

 

“Join us in the living room,” Liam said and walked back out. They were still at Zayn’s parents’ house after coming over for tea following the lunch. Everyone had left but Zayn had been enjoying being back at home so they had stayed longer. Now he was asleep, curled up in a ball on the sofa as Yaser watched TV. Even the girls had long since gone to sleep.

 

Liam sat down beside Zayn and stroked his hair gently. Zayn sighed in his sleep as if he sensed Liam’s presence and shuffled closer till he was halfway in Liam’s lap. Liam adjusted him so he was more comfortable and draped the blanket around him. He kissed Zayn’s forehead and held his hand gently. It hit him like a ton of bricks, multiple times a day, just how much he loved Zayn. His love for Zayn continued to grow and deepen as time went on and never seemed to cease. Their relationship had grown and stabilized over the past few years and even as they found themselves in a calm and secure place, that heart-crushing love and passion he had for the boy never diminished. It flourished. The love manifested into every corner of his life and being and he knew very clearly that Zayn _was_ his life. Everything else was secondary or meaningless if there was no Zayn. Those promises he had made four years ago as he put the promise ring on Zayn hadn’t changed. They seemed to become more and more true as days went by. More and more solid.

 

They told each other in words and just looks every day that they loved each other. That they were each other’s everything. But even in small moments like when they sat down for dinner after a long day and Zayn smiled his beautiful crinkly smile at him as he would push his sock covered toes into Liam’s leg to get him to share his dessert, Liam would find himself thinking ‘I want this for the rest of my life.’ He loved Zayn more than anything in this world. It was simple as that. He had always known he’d marry him, it wasn’t even a secret since they always talked about marriage. But as Zayn finished this one chapter in his life, Liam knew he was ready to make it official. Make Zayn his in every which way and him Zayn’s.

 

They knew they wanted to spend their lives together and with enough late-night talks, Liam knew they were both at the place where they wanted to take the next step. He was going to propose to Zayn. And the boy had no idea because Liam had sufficiently thrown him off the track for the past few months where he dropped hints that they should wait till Zayn was out of medical school to think of marriage. But no. He had bought the ring in Paris when he had gone on a business trip a few months back. He was ready to propose to Zayn and marry him if he said yes. All he needed was Zayn’s parents’ blessings.

 

“So… Liam?” Yaser said with a smile. “You had something to say?”

 

“Well,” Liam took a deep breath and looked at Tricia and Yaser who were sitting on the sofa opposite him and giving him curious smiles. Liam looked down at Zayn whose face was half covered by the green blanket as he slept peacefully against Liam’s chest.

 

“You know I love Zayn more than anything in this world. He means more to me than my own life,” Liam said slowly. Liam had never been this nervous for anything in his life. Sure, he felt some nerves when he used to play football but the adrenaline rush used to fuel him. But sitting here, in front of the parents of the person who meant the world to him as he asked for their blessing in marriage was making his heart beat out of his chest.

 

“Of course we know that. It’s all evident in the way you look at our son,” Tricia said softly and smiled at Zayn asleep in Liam’s arms.

 

“Zayn is a person impossible not to love. To me he embodies everything that is love, kindness, intelligence and beauty. I will never tire of saying this but he is quite literally my everything. Everything in this world is on one side, and Zayn is on the other side. The only side I care about. All that matters to me. His happiness and health is all that matters to me. He is already my entire life and I know I don’t want to live a day without him. But I want to make it official. I want to… I want to ask him to marry me,” Liam exhaled lightly as he finished and stared at Tricia and Yaser’s faces which were a little unreadable as they stared silently at him. Liam was about to be panicked but they looked at each other and suddenly grinned before they looked at him.

 

“You know me and your mom thought you would propose over the lunch today. But it was your dad who said you like to be extravagant and that you’d probably propose over your trip,” Tricia said with a laugh.

 

“What?” Liam asked in surprise.

 

“Son it’s been quite obvious. I mean you gave Zayn a promise ring four years ago. Since then we’ve all been saying that it’s just a matter of time. Zayn had thought it would be after he graduated, he was right I guess, but then he recently said something about you changing your mind and wanting to wait 3 or 4 more years,” Yaser chuckled.

 

“Oh, I was trying to throw him off my trail. He would have figured it out he’s too smart. But this way he’ll have no idea,” Liam said with a smile. He looked down at Zayn and kissed his head as a surge of love and happiness washed over him.

 

“So… where will you do it?” Tricia asked excitedly.

 

“Paris. Tomorrow,” Liam said with a grin. “So I have your blessing?”

 

“Liam you’ve had our blessing for years. We welcomed you into our family years ago. Zayn is his own person, an independent boy, who can make his own choices and we don’t have a right to say yes or no. But you have our blessing in every sense anyways. You’re more than what a parent could dream of for their child’s partner. We know you always put Zayn’s happiness first and he’s lucky to have you. You’ll always keep him happy and that’s what every parent wants. You love him as much as we do and I know you’ll have a beautiful life together,” Yaser said softly. His eyes seemed to be wet with unshed tears and Tricia was wiping away her own.

 

“Zayn loves and respects you guys so much. You’re his entire world so I thought it was only right I run it by you first and get your blessing. He liked to uphold traditional values and I respect that,” Liam said and smiled down at Zayn.

 

“You’re a true sweetheart Liam,” Tricia said and walked over to kiss his head. “We all love you, Zayn loves you, and he will say yes. I just can’t wait to celebrate this.”

 

“Soon enough,” Liam replied with a smile.

 

“You two won’t even be back for two months how will we throw an engagement party? Your mom and I have been planning for one,” Tricia said.

 

“Let’s wait and see if he says yes first,” Liam chuckled.

 

“He will. That’s not even a question,” Tricia reassured.

 

Zay yelped and his eyes flew open which made the three of them freeze in shock. “It-it’s there… right there… it’s a mouse… ‘s watching me… make it leave,” he slurred with wide eyes.

 

“Don’t worry baby I’ve got you,” Liam murmured and squeezed him gently before kissing his head.

 

“Thanks. Love you,” Zayn mumbled and slipped back into sleep. Liam breathed a sigh of relief because Zayn hadn’t heard anything.

 

“That was close,” Yaser chuckled. “Next time, maybe make sure he isn’t in the room.”

 

Liam laughed and nodded and kissed Zayn’s forehead again. Since it was late and he was too tired to head home. He carried Zayn up to his old bedroom and they fell asleep there with the alarm on for 7 a.m. so they could take off on time for Paris. Liam fell asleep with a smile, holding on to Zayn tightly as he dreamt of the day to come.

 

 

**

 

“You know Mr. Payne, usually my other dates buy me a fancy meal before they try to get in my pants.”

 

Liam smiled at Zayn’s teasing tone and continued to kiss his neck which made the latter giggle. They were in the back of a car as the driver took them to the villa in Paris. It was just after sunset in Paris and the sky was beginning to get dark with the last hints of indigo fading.

 

“But do your other dates bring you to Paris?” Liam joked and pulled Zayn closer as he nipped his earlobe.

 

“No,” Zayn laughed and tilted his head to give Liam more access. “You’ve got the upper hand with that one.”

“I’d like to believe that I have the upper hand in every which way over your other admirers because I love you,” Liam said and pressed a kiss to Zayn’s smiling lips.

 

“That too,” Zayn whispered and pressed himself even closer to Liam to let the kiss turn deeper. They pulled up in front of the villa and Zayn hopped out first as Liam grabbed their bags.

 

“Merci beaucoup,” Liam said to the driver and pressed a hand to the small of Zayn’s back to walk up to the front of the house.

 

“Maa was crying when we left this morning. I told her I know two months is a long time to not see each other but time flies by. She said it wasn’t that and she was just proud of me and happy for me,” Zayn told him with a smile as they walked into the villa. Liam grinned because he knew why Tricia must have been crying when they left this morning but he couldn’t say so just yet. But within the hour, Zayn would know. Liam had done everything in his power since talking to Tricia and Yaser last night to not sweep Zayn into his arms and ask him the simple four words. But he’d summoned all his energy to control himself so he could ask Zayn in the proper way and moment the other boy deserved.

 

“It’s such a beautiful night,” Zayn observed as they walked into the master bedroom and he went straight over to the window.

 

Liam walked up behind Zayn and wrapped arms around his waist before pressing a tender kiss to his cheek. “So beautiful,” Liam replied as he gazed at Zayn’s face, in love with how his eyelashes dipped and brushed the tops of his cheekbones.

 

“You’re so silly,” Zayn said with a smile although his face was turning pink. “Four years later and you still flatter me like it’s our first date.”

 

“It’s the truth,” Liam replied. “I will never stop flattering you because I will never stop loving you or thinking of you as the most beautiful thing I’ve ever set my eyes on. It’s pure insanity how you become more and more beautiful with each new day.”

 

“I’m not,” Zayn mumbled and buried his face into Liam’s chest. Liam smiled and ran a hand through Zayn’s soft curly hair, the longer part at the front was falling over his forehead and eyes. Liam smiled and pressed multiple kisses to Zayn’s face before he moved back with a final kiss to his cheek.

 

“You wanted to shower right? Why don’t you go ahead while I go check on something to eat? I had someone drop off food before we got here so we can eat that and then maybe take a walk or sleep. Whatever you want,” Liam said.

 

“Walk? In the dark? To get possessed by the ghosts lurking in the woods?” Zayn joked as he walked over to his suitcase.

 

“That’s the goal,” Liam teased and smacked Zayn’s ass lightly as he passed him to leave the room. When he heard the shower turn on, he sped downstairs and went out the back doors to the verandah. Someone had actually come over earlier with not just food but to completely decorate the verandah.

 

There were white roses _everywhere._ Zayn’s favourite flower. The entire walkway of the verandah was covered in a carpet of white rose petals and the sides were threaded with an endless amount of white roses on their stems. The sides of the walkway were lined with candles as well that just had to be lit. Zayn took fast showers so Liam would have to be fast. He took out his lighter and lit all the candles as quickly as he could. He then made sure the music system was set up properly as well.

 

Liam then stepped back and admired the set up with a small smile. Truthfully, he could have done something even more extravagant as his friends had suggested, like with fireworks on the Eiffel Tower spelling out ‘marry me’ and dancers waiting to pop out as soon as Zayn said yes but Liam didn’t want that. Zayn hated crowded places and unnecessary attention but Liam also chose this because he wanted a setting that was simple and symbolic to them. Something that was minimalistic but also had the touch of memories and things that meant something to their relationship. And what meant more than this exact verandah in Paris? And flowers and the ring was all he needed. Because that’s what he knew what Zayn would love. And the boy appreciated the little things and genuine words more than something extremely grand.

 

Liam changed into dress pants and a button down, grabbed the ring which was nestled in a red velvet box and left a note on the bed that simply said ‘verandah.’ Then he waited in the kitchen where he could have a clear view of Zayn walking out to the verandah. Soon enough he heard footsteps padding down the stairs and the sound of Zayn humming. Liam smiled as he watched Zayn head over to the verandah doors. His wet hair was dripping into his eyes and on his shoulders. He wore a simple white t-shirt and grey track pants with alien socks underneath. Zayn pushed open the doors and Liam watched as he paused in confusion.

 

“What…” Zayn murmured and stepped onto the verandah. He seemed to be staring in confusion at the abundance of flowers and candles. Liam hit play on the music and Elvis filled the air as he sang ‘wise men say…’

 

Liam slowly made his way over to the doors and watched as Zayn made his way down the walkway towards the end where the pillars and stone railing were that looked over the grounds. He paused there and seemed to be staring at the paper in his hands and out into the darkness. Liam walked down behind him and stopped a few feet away.

 

“June 2017,” Liam started and Zayn spun around. When he saw Liam the boy’s eyes widened and he seemed to be even more confused. “‘Like whiplash you stole the air from my lungs that day and made me yours even if I didn’t know it yet.’ You wrote that in the letter you gave me when you told me loved me. You wrote that as you described the moment you saw me in that library. And there could be no other words to describe how I felt about you that day as well. You also made me yours in that moment even if I didn’t know it yet.”

 

“Liam, what is this,” Zayn said in a shaky voice and Liam noticed that his whole body was trembling.

 

“Zayn… baby…” Liam said with a smile and walked forward to grasp both of Zayn’s hands. “You are _literally_ my entire world. You know when people used to say things like ‘I love you more and more everyday’ I used to wonder how that was possible because the idea of love seemed like something you felt with a limit to that feeling. But when I fell for you angel, I realized just how true those words are. Because I do fall in love with you more and more every day. From the small moments like when I come downstairs in the morning and see you sitting on a bar stool in just your boxers and a jumper, and you’ll be reading your textbook and eating cereal and when you see me you smile so softly but beautifully and I’m hit in those moments with the thought that I want to see that very image for the rest of my life. You in my life, you in a home we’ll build together. You in every aspect of my life. And I realize this every day.”

Zayn was breathing shakily and Liam continued with a smile. “When you steal sips of my coffee even though you hate it and can’t have it, when you wrap yourself around me in bed as we watch Insidious for the hundredth time but you love getting scared, when you attach yourself like a koala to me as we sleep, when you give me head massages after a long days because you can just sense that I’ve had an exhausting day, when you love my family like your own so much so that you _are_ my family, when you’re reading and don’t even notice that you’re whispering the words out loud and making facial expressions as you react, when you get pouty if Ray is cuddled up with me instead of you, when you whisper that you love me in the most random moments. In all these moments, the one thing that is similar is that I realize just how much I love you and want you. Every day for the rest of my life. I’ve always told you that my love for you is beyond absolute and eternal. I am already yours in every way and I know you’re mine but I want to make it official in every way.”

 

Liam started to get on his knee but Zayn gasped and stumbled back a little as tears burst from his eyes. “Liam! What are you- are you about to… wait, wait…”

 

Liam’s heart dropped a little as he heard Zayn say wait. Zayn was crying as his hands covered his mouth. “Zayn…”

“Gimme a second, you’re just,” Zayn stammered. “You’re giving me a heart attack!” Zayn laughed as tears fell from his eyes. “I look like a fucking mess and you- you just… you’re really about to…”

 

Liam smiled and gathered Zayn’s trembling form into his arms. He didn’t even realize that maybe Zayn’s anxiety could get triggered from a surprise proposal. Zayn breathed heavily against his chest as he tried to control his tears and Liam kissed his head multiple times.

 

“I’m sorry baby I didn’t even realize that a surprise could cause you to have an anxiety attack,” Liam murmured and squeezed Zayn tightly in his arms as he kissed his forehead.

 

“Fuck. No, no, no. Jaan. Fuck. Fuck me. I’ve ruined it. I’ve ruined everything. I’m just a little shocked and yes, I got anxious for a second from the shock but I’m not having an anxiety attack. I’m a fucking mess who ruins everything. P-please… if I haven’t ruined the mood… you can… you can carry on,” Zayn whispered, his cheeks completely red from embarrassment.

 

Liam cupped Zayn’s face and pressed a kiss to his lips that were wet with tears before he kissed Zayn’s eyelids. “You could never ruin anything.” Zayn was shaking again as he slowly met Liam’s eyes and Liam stepped back to sink onto one knee. Zayn let out something between a gasp and cry as he covered his mouth again.

 

“My love you stole my heart that day when we first met and I knew I wanted you. When I got to know your heart, I realized that I wanted to be with you for a long time. And when I finally realized that I loved you, baby boy I was done for,” Liam chuckled and Zayn smiled tearfully at him. “I knew I wanted you for the rest of my life. Being with you and experiencing life with you is all that I want. These past four years have been the best years of my life and you are the sole person who lights up my life. We’ve said this to each other many times and know that we want to be together for the rest of our days till we’re old and wrinkled, but baby I always knew that I wanted to take every step in life with you. Living together has been amazing, but I think taking it the next step forward would be fucking mind-blowing.”

 

Zayn laughed as tears spilled out of his eyes and Liam smiled. “You can’t swear in proposals,” Zayn said as he wiped his eyes.

 

“I can if I’m being honest about how you make me feel,” Liam said with a grin and took Zayn’s hand to kiss it. “Building a home and life with you is all that I want. I see you and only you in my future and I want to achieve great success in life with you by my side. I want to watch you conquer the world because you are capable of that and so much more. You are an enigma sweetheart. So if you’ll have me, I want to become an even bigger part of your life and you in mine. I want to build a future with you. Start a family with you.”

 

“Ya Allah,” Zayn whispered and stared at Liam unblinking. Liam reached into his pocket and pulled out the red box and opened it to reveal the ring to Zayn who gasped and stared at it with owlish eyes. It was a delicate band with crushed diamonds surrounding it and a tiny gold topaz in the centre because it had reminded him of Zayn’s eyes.

 

“So Zayn Malik, you beautiful, incredible human, my angel, my heart and soul, my entire world and universe… will you marry me?” Liam asked the question he’d been ready to ask for months since he had bought the ring. The question he knew he’d ask some day when he had given the promise ring to Zayn which still sat on his right hand. He looked at Zayn as his heart pounded. He looked at the one person in the world who was his entire life and source of happiness. And he could see the answer in Zayn’s teary eyes but he had been desperately waiting for months to hear that one word precious answer.

 

“There is no life, universe or time where you could ask me that question and I would say anything but yes,” Zayn cried and collapsed to his knees in front of Liam.

 

“So are you –” Liam began.

 

“Yes! Yes! Yes! Of course I’m saying yes!” Zayn yelled in a mixture of laughter and tears as he jumped on Liam causing them to fall backwards onto the ground. He sobbed into Liam’s neck and Liam wrapped arms around him tightly to hold him and kiss all over his head. He still held the ring in his hand and he smiled into Zayn’s hair as the boy shook in his arms.

 

“I love you so fucking much… oh my God… you really just proposed to me,” Zayn said shakily.

 

“Zayn you’ve been wearing a promise ring for four years did you really think I would never propose to you?” Liam said with a laugh.

 

“You know what I mean,” Zayn smacked his chest and moved back. His face was red and covered in tear tracks. “I can’t believe we’re engaged.”

 

“Well if I can put the ring on you we will be,” Liam teased gently.

 

“Fuck!” Zayn gasped and scrambled back. “I keep fucking this up. I’m the worst person someone could possibly propose to. Not only do I almost have an anxiety attack and interrupt you but I didn’t even let you put the ring on.”

 

“Baby, baby, baby,” Liam laughed softly and drew Zayn back into his lap to kiss his temple. “You did not fuck anything up. Relationships and proposals aren’t always smooth. God knows we went through bumps. This is perfect. You are perfect.”

 

“The ring is perfect,” Zayn whispered as he stared at the ring. Liam smiled and lifted Zayn’s left hand. He pressed a kiss to each knuckle and then all over it before he slipped the ring onto the ring finger. Liam kissed the tip of Zayn’s finger and looked up at him with a smile.

 

“You are my everything meri jaan,” Zayn whimpered as his voice cracked. “I don’t know what I would be without you. I cannot imagine my life without you. I’ve always know we’d reach here at some point but being here now, in this moment, it is so surreal. We’re going to be married. You’ll be my husband.” Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam and tucked his face into his neck. “These days I keep saying that all my dreams are coming true and I don’t want to put the evil eye on it myself, but it’s so true. My dreams are coming true and you jaan, you are my dreams. Every part of them. My entire life. I love you.”

 

“I love you too. So fucking much,” Liam whispered and took Zayn’s face into his hands to kiss him passionately. “My baby, my heart, my life, my angel, my everything. Now my fiancé.”

 

“Fiancé,” Zayn gasped with a small laugh and hugged Liam even more tightly. “My fiancé! And what were you doing these past few months when you kept hinting that you wanted to wait a few more years until I was out of medical school and settled in a job to get married. I was ready to fight you.”

 

“I just wanted to fool you because I knew I was going to do this over the trip,” Liam laughed. “But rest assured baby even though we’re engaged, we won’t get married if you’re not ready yet and want to wait till med school is over. I’m not rushing anything. We’ll still be with each other.”

 

“No way. I know I love you and I know I want you for the rest of my life. We already live together and will be living together while I go to med school. Marriage isn’t going to complicate anything. I don’t want to be those people who put their entire lives on hold when they go to med school. I want to be married and continue to live our lives like we would normally. And keep going forward. No pauses. I can handle med school. I want to start our lives now. I’m ready,” Zayn said in a firm tone. Liam smiled and hugged Zayn to his chest as he kissed his forehead.

 

“I love you. And I’m okay with that. More than okay,” Liam said softly.

 

“So we’ll set a date and plan the wedding at a normal place. We don’t need delays,” Zayn said.

 

“When do you want to get married?” Liam asked.

 

“I don’t know how long wedding planning takes. Maybe a year or so. But jaan… this is really cheesy… but I decided this long ago and I kind of um, kind of want to get married on the same day as our first date. It’ll become the official anniversary for everything,” Zayn murmured softly as he toyed with Liam’s shirt.

 

“July 12th?” Liam asked with a grin.

 

“July 12th,” Zayn replied with a smile.

 

“In Paris?” Liam said softly and Zayn looked at him in surprise and then he grinned.

 

“In Paris,” he whispered back and leaned up to kiss Liam. “So… fiancé… will you take me to bed for the first time as a betrothed couple?”

 

“I want that more than anything,” Liam murmured and swept Zayn into his arms making the boy gasp.

 

“I can’t help falling in love with you more and more Liam Payne. And I can’t wait to be married to you,” Zayn hummed and kissed his jaw as they walked inside.

 

“Me too Zayn Malik. Me too,” Liam replied with a smile as they entered the bedroom. Liam lowered Zayn onto the bed and covered the length of his body with his own. They reached for each other automatically and kissed fervently as the air felt charged with something more than want or need. They were about to start a new life together and the happiness of that feeling rippled through their bodies. Brought them closer together until they found themselves as one. Forever as one.

 

 

**

 

 

**One Year Later**

“Bridezilla much?”

 

“I am not a bridezilla!”

Zayn threw a pillow at Waliyha and glared at her in frustration as she cackled with glee. He ignored her and continued carefully writing out the name cards in calligraphy.

 

“You should have listened to your fiancé when he said you should hire someone to do the name cards. Now you have to do them all by tomorrow,” Waliyha said with a smirk. She fell back against the sofa cushions and picked up her phone to continue scrolling through it.

 

“You could help and not be an ass,” Zayn hissed. “I invited you over to help.”

 

“But you’re acting like a crazy person,” Waliyha said. She leaned down and picked up Ray who was staring at the TV. She kissed his head and placed him on her stomach.

 

“Wali, you can go home if you’re not going to help,” Zayn said and carefully wrote out the next card.

 

“Can’t. My roommate was gonna have her boyfriend over tonight and I don’t want to be there when they start having their disturbingly loud sex again,” Waliyha said.

 

“You’re utterly useless,” Zayn said with a glare. “I would have called Haz and Lou but they’re in New Jersey this weekend. Even Safaa would have been more helpful.”

 

“I’ll help fold,” Waliyha finally said and slid down.

 

“We leave for Paris in two days and there is so much to do,” Zayn said and tugged his hair in frustration. “I’m going to have a nervous breakdown.”

 

“You hired a wedding planner and yet you’re giving yourself unnecessary stress for the small things,” Waliyha pointed out.

 

“Because I stupidly told her I would handle the small things. Maa and Karen are helping with the gift baskets for every guest which have to be in the rooms when we get to Paris but I should have made sure Violet took care of those because it’s too much,” Zayn sighed and rubbed his face.

 

“Relax Zee. All weddings have maximum stress in the last few days but it’ll go off smoothly,” Waliyha said.

 

“I hope so,” Zayn muttered. He and Liam had gotten engaged a year ago and in the chaos of his first year of medical school and planning the wedding simultaneously, he had almost lost it on many occasions. During one of his breakdowns, Liam had firmly suggested they delay the wedding but Zayn had begged him not to because no matter what the stress, he still wanted to marry Liam that summer. And now they were two days away from their wedding week in Paris and he could throw up from his nerves.

 

The door to the penthouse buzzed open and a few voices flooded the foyer. Zayn turned around when Liam, Niall and Ameera walked in. They had been off at a dinner meeting and seeing Liam smile at him made his body relax a little. Niall was carrying a pizza box and Zayn almost cried in relief.

 

“Thank you,” Zayn said with a relieved sigh and took the box from Niall.

 

“Your husband to be is a mess jeeju,” Waliyha said with a snort as Liam kissed her head in greeting.

 

“Yeah?” Liam said with a smile and sat on the ground beside Zayn and tugged him closer to kiss his cheek. Zayn growled in irritation at Waliyha and sank back against Liam as he took a massive bite of his cheese slice.

 

“Zaynie my love you shouldn’t have taken on all this for yourself,” Ameera said as she sat down and sifted through the name cards.

 

“I’m a fucking idiot,” Zayn muttered and sighed as Liam scratched his fingers through his hair in a relaxing manner.

 

“We hired Violet for a reason love,” Liam said gently and kissed his cheek. “She could have gotten these printed.”

 

“I wanted to do something handmade and authentic. People would like it,” Zayn murmured.

 

“That’s really sweet baby but I don’t want my husband to have carpal tunnel on our wedding day. You should be relaxing and pampering yourself in these last few days and not freaking out,” Liam said gently.

 

“How many more do you have left?” Niall asked.

 

“A hundred,” Zayn groaned.

 

“Okay, no way are you putting yourself through that. We’ll all do a few and if they turn out wonky who the fuck cares. Our wedding will be great regardless,” Liam said.

 

“Thank you,” Zayn said and tilted his head up so Liam could kiss him. “But you have awful hand-writing.”

“Do you want my help or not?” Liam teased and squeezed his face.

 

“Yes please,” Zayn groaned and pouted his lips as Liam kissed him again.

 

“So guys… ready for the bachelor party?” Niall asked with a grin.

 

“Not really,” Zayn said with a scrunched nose.

 

“Don’t be a spoil sport! You and Liam refused to have separate parties so now that we’re having one you better be ready to get trashed,” Niall warned.

 

“Why does it have to be in London though?” Zayn asked with a groan. “The guests arrive the next day and we’ll have to be back in Paris the morning after.”

 

“Because it’ll be fun and you can let loose. Don’t take away the opportunity for me to throw my best friend his bachelor party,” Niall said. “And you. You need this.”

 

“It’ll be fun baby. Don’t worry,” Liam said and kissed his head.

 

“I just want to be married and back to normal life already,” Zayn sighed and leaned against Liam tiredly. Liam was kissing along his head and Zayn picked up his left hand to kiss it. Shortly after they had gotten engaged and returned home from their trip, after endless amount of happy tears with their families, Yaser had pulled him aside and given him the ring which had belonged to Zayn’s grandfather. It was passed along generations and Yaser thought Zayn should give it to Liam as a token of the engagement. Zayn had given it Liam with some nervousness but the expression on Liam’s face had been worth it. It was all love and adoration. Liam wore that ring constantly since and they both carried the symbols of their engagement.

 

“You just want to be at the point where people will call you Mr. Payne already,” Waliyha teased.

 

“Doctor Payne soon enough,” Ameera said with a laugh.

 

“Doctor Payne will see you now,” Niall said in a higher pitched voice.

 

“Is that supposed to be from Fifty Shades? We left that shit in 2018 Niall,” Zayn said. “And it’ll be Doctor Malik-Payne assholes.”

 

While the other three laughed at him, Liam pulled him in with a soft smile and kissed his head. “We’re going to be married in five days. Can you believe it?”

 

“Not really. It’s like a dream,” Zayn whispered and smiled at Liam. “We’ll be husbands.”

 

“Husbands.” Liam agreed and kissed his nose with a fond smile.

 

 

 

**

 

 

“This was such a bad idea.”

 

Zayn groaned and drank some water to help the bad effects of the alcohol that would ensue tomorrow. He had taken some celebratory shots with everyone else and now he felt plastered. He never drank and clearly he could not handle it after taking shots celebrating his upcoming wedding. The music in the club was pounding. They were at some fancy strip club in London as a part of the bachelor party. Ten of Liam’s closest friends were here and Harry and Louis were here for Zayn. Harry was rubbing his back as they stood at the bar so Zayn could drink some water.

 

“Relax babe! You’ll be fine! Let’s go back!” Harry tugged him away from the bar and they went back to the seats in front of the stage where he saw the boys were whistling and hooting especially loudly. Zayn squinted and saw that some blonde girl in a sparkly two piece was dancing in front of Liam. The man was shaking his head at Niall with a smile. Zayn frowned and stumbled forward as he saw the girl grinning at Liam as she tried to get closer to dance but Liam was shaking his head at her.

 

“Thanks but he’s okay,” Zayn slurred at the girl as he stumbled into Liam’s lap.

 

“Hi baby. Drunk?” Liam asked with a laugh and kissed him.

 

“Drunk on you,” Zayn said with a mischievous grin.

 

“He can join you in the champagne room,” the girl said with a coy smile.

 

“ _He_ is my fiancé. Husband in three days,” Liam corrected.

 

“Congratulations. So would you two like a private performance?” She asked again.

 

“Sure,” Zayn agreed quickly and grinned at Liam. The other boys wolf-whistled as Zayn grabbed Liam’s hand and stumbled after the girl who lead them to a private room. Liam gripped his hips tightly and kissed his neck. They fell onto the velvet sofas as the girl closed the doors and began some generic sexy music to dance for them.

 

“S’cuse me? Can I have some alone time with my man?” Zayn asked in a voice that was probably too loud but he couldn’t care.

 

“You’re paying for this,” the girl reminded him.

 

“It’s fine. We’ll leave you a nice tip. Thank you though,” Liam said with a smile and she grinned and nodded before she left the room.

 

“Are you okay?” Liam asked and kissed him gently.

 

“Ex-solutely positively vibrant,” Zayn said with a giggle and stumbled off the sofa.

 

“Vibrant,” Liam said with a laugh.

 

“You’re paying for a show, so you Mr. Payne, shall get a show,” Zayn said with a smirk and climbed onto the stage. Liam watched with a grin as he sprawled comfortably on the couch. Zayn went over to the music system and blinked at the song listings before he chose Partition by Beyoncé. As the music began Zayn smiled and turned around to wink at Liam. The man laughed a little and leaned forward to watch him.

 

_‘Oh there daddy, daddy didn’t bring the towel, oh baby baby we betta slow it down. Took 45 minutes to get all dressed up. We ain't even gonna make it to this club.’_

Zayn grinned at Liam and walked back to pole in the centre of the stage. Suddenly his head felt so much clearer. Liam smirked at him and Zayn kicked off his shoes before he circled slowly around the pole. He grabbed the edges of his leather jacket and made a show of taking it off before he tossed it at Liam who grabbed it and put it aside with a smile.

 

_‘Take all of me, I just wanna be the kind of girl you like…’_

Zayn mouthed along with a smile and lifted his shirt into his teeth as he ran his hand down his torso and cupped himself through his jeans. He kept his eyes locked on Liam whose expression was darkening as he stared at Zayn. Zayn turned around and swayed his hips to the beat as he brought his shirt over his head and threw it to the side. He sank to his knees and crawled over to the edge of the stage where he was directly in front of Liam, who was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and staring at Zayn with a small smirk and intense need in his eyes.

 

 _‘Handprints and good grips all on my ass. Private show with the music blasting. He like to call me Peaches when we get this nasty. Red wine drip, talk that trash_ _. Chauffer eavesdropping, trying not to crash_ _.’_

Zayn stood up and unbuttoned his jeans before he dropped them and kicked off the stage. At the ‘good grips on my ass’ part he swiveled around and ran his hands down his brief clad ass, in direct eyesight of Liam. Zayn smirked at Liam who looked like he wanted to pounce on him. Zayn moved his body to the beat and went back over to the pole. He turned his back to it and wrapped his hands around it above his head. He swayed his hips to the beat and slid down against the cool metal pole. He could feel himself getting hard and as Liam’s eyes travelled down his body, he knew the man could see it too.

 

When the French lyrics started, Zayn hopped off the stage and straddled Liam. He moved his hips slowly against Liam’s crotch and ran his hands through his own hair as he threw his head back and closed his eyes. He bit his lips and stared at Liam whose pupils were heavily dilated. The mixture of alcohol and desire in both their bodies made them obviously aroused. Zayn leaned forward so he was a breath away from Liam. The man grabbed a fistful of his hair and crashed their mouths together. Zayn groaned and parted his lips so he could run his tongue alongside Liam.

 

“You’re unreal,” Liam murmured and then he pushed Zayn into the sofa and peeled off his briefs with ease. Zayn barely had a chance to gather his thoughts before Liam was lowering his head, leaving him whimpering desperately.

 

 

**

 

 

The hangovers the next day were painful as they took a short flight back to Paris and drove back to the villa. Liam found himself unable to even sleep off the headache as all the other wedding guests which included relatives and friends flying in from all around the world. They were staying in a lovely bed and breakfast style hotel near the villa which Liam had booked out completely for the week for the guests. The villa was taken up by just Zayn and Liam’s families. That day they held the welcome brunch for all the guests at the bed and breakfast where there was a beautiful set up out in the gardens.

 

The following night they had a traditional Pakistani ceremony called a ‘mehndi’ and it was full of dancing and music and a few rituals done like putting henna on them. Liam found himself with a small round henna tattoo on his palm but Zayn got a detailed henna design across his hand and he sneakily told Liam that his initials L.P were hidden in the intricate design which if Liam couldn’t locate, they couldn’t marry. Of course Liam found them within a few seconds to everyone’s amusement. The night finished with little dance performances by Zayn’s sisters and cousins and then some musical entertainment was provided by Zayn’s friend Shalini and her band. Zayn had joined her to sing the song ‘Tere bin Naahi Laage’ which was the first song Liam had heard Zayn sing in RED and fallen for him. They had ended to applause but Liam had immediately swept Zayn off his feet to kiss him. Everything felt like a dream.

 

When the mehndi ceremony was over and everyone had gone off to get some sleep so they could be rested for the big wedding day tomorrow, Liam found himself unable to sleep in his room. Him and Zayn were staying separately since Zayn had insisted they spend the nights leading up to the wedding sleeping apart and not indulging anything sexual, which they had broken at the strip club to some extent. But now it was the night before their big day and Liam found himself restless to see Zayn. The night had been so jam packed that they had barely seen each other and Liam was missing Zayn.

 

He got up from his bed with a sigh and wandered out of his room quietly since Niall was asleep behind him. He threw on a shirt and walked out to the verandah. He smiled as he remembered how he had proposed to Zayn in this exact spot a year ago. Now it was lit with fairy lights and orchids. He walked down the steps at the end to the grounds below where there was already a small stage set up for their ceremony tomorrow.

 

Liam walked forward and saw a hunched figure sat in the middle of the stage. His brow furrowed in confusion as he drew forward. It was dark out here and he couldn’t be sure if it was a family member or some intruder. The villa was completely enclosed so it couldn’t be the second option. Liam was about to call out as he drew closer but he saw the back of the hoodie which read ‘Groom to Be’ and he smiled as he remembered how Harry had gotten matching hoodies made for him and Zayn on the bachelor party.

 

“Hey stranger,” Liam said as he walked up the stage. Zayn snapped around in surprise and his face stretched into a grin.

 

“Jaan,” he breathed softly. Liam leaned down and cupped Zayn’s face before he pressed a light kiss to his forehead and then his lips.

 

“What on earth are you doing out here so late?” Liam asked.

 

“I could ask you the same thing,” Zayn replied with a smile. His hands were holding a piece of paper tightly and Liam raised his brow.

 

“I’m feeling a hint of insomnia because someone suggested we sleep apart so our wedding night can be special,” Liam told him with a grin.

 

“Well you broke half of it by blowing me in the strip club but sleeping apart for the past few days and not having had full on sex in ten days will make it so special,” Zayn murmured and leaned forward to peck his cheek. Liam hummed and picked up Zayn’s hand covered in the henna design and kissed it.

 

“So what are you doing?” Liam asked.

 

“Rehearsing my vows,” Zayn said softly. “Don’t want to stutter or mess up tomorrow.”

 

“Angel, you won’t mess up,” Liam reassured him gently and tugged him closer to kiss his head. “And even if you do, who cares? I’m going to be up there with you and we’ll work through it slowly. You only have to keep your eyes on me.”

 

“Reasons like this are why I love you so much,” Zayn sighed and hugged Liam tightly. “Nikkahs are so easy. We sign some stuff, say I do in Arabic three times and say some prayers. The vows for the second ceremony are freaking me out. I want them to be perfect. You deserve perfect vows, delivered smoothly, and not getting messed up by a stuttering loser.”

 

“Don’t say that baby. You’re perfect. No matter what you say, and how you say it, I’ll love it. You know why? Because it will be my husband saying them. The love of my life,” Liam murmured and tucked him close to kiss him. “Wanna practise?”

 

“No!” Zayn laughed. “It has to be a surprise.”

 

“Got it,” Liam chuckled and pecked his head. He picked up Zayn’s hand and traced where he knew the Liam tattoo was and kissed it. “Here’s a preview of mine though. Zayn, to me you are the epitome of love, grace, compassion, beauty, intelligence and kindness. I could have the sun in my palm and you would still be the brightest thing in my life, the most beautiful person inside and out that I have the blessing of knowing. Knowing that you are now my husband, my life partner, my beginning and end, I know that I will never be without light for the rest of my days. I once told you that you’re the only colour I see in this world of black and white and those words will always remain true. You are, my only colour, my only light, the centre of my universe. You humble me and teach me what love and selflessness is. You don’t just complete me, you uplift me. And this future we are about to begin together is a little terrifying but also exciting. I’ve loved you since you walked into my life. I love you now, I’ll love tomorrow, I’ll love you long after I’ve left this world. You are the definition of my life, future and love. My angel.”

 

Zayn was staring at him silently and his chin trembled before tears spilled out. “If that’s the preview I won’t make it through the full thing tomorrow.”

 

“Aw, baby,” Liam chuckled softly and hugged Zayn fiercely to his chest. “I love you.”

 

“I love you too,” Zayn whispered and moved back. “Yeh jo halka halka suroor hai, tune kuch kiya to zaroor hai. Jis din se tu hai dikha piya, maine saans lena bhula diya.”

 

“What?” Liam whispered.

 

“This slight intoxication I'm feeling, its something you've certainly done to me. Since the day I lay eyes on you my love, I've forgotten how to breathe. That’s a preview of my vows. You’ll see tomorrow,” Zayn murmured. It was dark out but Zayn’s eyes were bright and the tear tracks on his cheeks were glistening. Liam cupped Zayn’s face and pressed their foreheads together to just breathe him in.

 

 

**

 

“… we were sat on the roof of our frat house. And I asked this asshole if he ever thought he’d fall in love. The weed could take some of the blame but Liam said, I’ll only ever fall in love with a golden eyed boy or girl. That was his way of saying it’s impossible. But look at that you bastard, Zayn is the closest thing you’ll get to golden eyes and he is so good, so incredible, that his golden heart is something only those deserving of it should be able to witness. But you Li, you are the most incredible man I know. And I am so happy that you’ve found such unconditional love. You deserve it more than anyone in this world. I am so happy to be standing here and celebrating you and your wonderful new husband Zayn today. You are a blessing to me and anybody whose life you are a part of. You’ll make an incredible husband and maybe an incredible dad one day too. I wish you two so much fucking happiness. You deserve a lifetime of love, success, health and never-ending happiness. I can think of no two people who deserve it more. Liam, you have always been my brother, but Zayn now you are too. Actually you have been since Liam first brought you over on that poker night and the way he looked at you like you held the sun and stars in your palms, I knew you were here for the long haul. So like Tom and Ruth said before, welcome to our family Zayn. You’re in for a lifetime of chaos.”

 

Niall finished his speech to a loud applause and cheers. Liam grinned at Niall and whistled loudly as he bowed on stage. Zayn stood up beside him and clapped for the blonde. Niall jumped off the stage and came straight over to pull them into a hug.

 

“You were great for the most part Ni,” Liam said with a laugh. “Thank you.”

 

“I love you guys despite all the jokes,” Niall said with a smile. “I’m so fucking happy for you.”

 

“Thanks Niall,” Zayn said and hugged him tightly. Niall hugged Liam again before he sat back onto his seat beside Liam and kissed Ameera who was on his other side. Liam settled back as well and picked up Zayn’s hand to press a kiss to it. Zayn smiled brightly at him and leaned forward to kiss him.

 

The whole day had been like a dream. They had their wedding ceremony which comprised of the Nikkah and Islamic side of the ceremony in the morning and then they had the second ceremony led by Niall which they kept simple and said their vows and exchanged rings. The ceremony had been emotional because unbeknownst to each other, they had both read out each other’s love letters as part of their vows. The vows themselves were full of so many tears and emotions which made them cry and the audience cry. But the letters pulled out the real tears. The letters which even five years later they kept in their wallets. They had gotten through it despite the tears and Liam could not stop himself from kissing Zayn breathless before Niall had even said they could kiss.

 

The ceremony had happened by the lake on the back grounds of the villa in a setting of white rose petals and white antique chairs and the stage which had sheer white curtains flapping gently in the wind. There were flowers floating in the pond too, rose petals and pale pink orchids. Zayn had decided to walk down the aisle to a piano instrumental of ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love with You’ and as soon as Liam had seen him, his tears had flowed. This was his husband. His beautiful husband. They were married.

 

It was well into the evening now and they were having their outdoor reception which had also been set up on the back grounds behind the villa. The weather was excellent and they had a stage for the band, a large dance floor and a multitude of tables spread out under the evening sky. Lanterns were burning and bringing a soft glow to the evening and the scent of the roses all around tinged the air. The theme of the wedding was all white and interspersed with some pale pink. In the Nikkah ceremony in the morning, Zayn had worn a traditional sherwani and Liam had worn a suit but at the second ceremony they had worn black tuxes which they still wore at the reception dinner. Zayn looked so beautiful that Liam couldn’t help himself from leaning over and pressing kisses to his husband’s face every now and then. The gold bands that rested on their fingers, where their hands were linked, made his whole body flood with warmth.

 

“Best man #1 to the beautiful groom Zayn here!” Liam looked up and saw that Harry was on stage now to give his toast. Liam whistled and clapped along with everyone else. “I have known Zayn before my brain was even capable of storing long-term memories. As in I was fresh out of my mom’s womb when I met Zayn who was about a month old by then. Me and my boo go way, way back. I’ve seen him lose his first tooth, cry bloody murder on his first day of kindergarten, seen him wet his pants, sorry Zay, seen him learn how to read, seen him discover art, seen him go through his coming out process, seen him feel dejected after his first crush, seen him meet the man who would be his future and I kid you not on that first day Zayn said ‘he makes me feel some type of way and I don’t even know him but I’m sure this is how I die.’”

 

Harry was grinning at Zayn who was hiding his face in his hands out of mortification. Everyone was laughing around them and Liam chuckled fondly and tugged Zayn’s face free to kiss him. Zayn smiled with a deep blush and moved himself into Liam’s lap. Liam held his waist securely and Zayn rested his head back against Liam’s shoulder with his arms around his neck as he continued to watch Harry.

 

“And I said… well I said something vulgar but a few weeks later Zayn crossed paths with this man who he thought would be his untimely death again and well, it’s almost like magic happened. I have never seen two people go so seamlessly from crackling physical attraction to madly in love within days. This is the kind of love where we can say meant-to-be. It was meant to be. It always was. You guys weren’t there for their first meeting but I was there, in my parents’ coffee shop. As soon as Liam said his new favourite colour was hazel I had a feeling that this was going to be something. Zayn was too painfully shy to agree then but here we are folks. Zay, my love, here we are. You wouldn’t even agree to get your flirt on with Liam because you thought it was impossible and here you are. You’re officially Mr. fucking Malik- _Payne._ ” Harry paused and smiled at Zayn with some tears in his eyes.

 

“You’re married to the man who you couldn’t even look at without blushing head to toe. And nobody in this entire world, except maybe you and Liam of course, is as fucking happy for you guys as I am. If anyone deserves a life of happiness and a man as great as Liam, it’s you Zay. You guys will be so fucking happy together and you will be that annoyingly successful happy couple that we all secretly love-hate. I’m kidding. I’ll always love you boo. And Liam, you are now responsible for my other half. My whole world. Take care of him. Love him. Cherish him. Or I will find you and castrate you if Zayn ever sheds a tear. But I know I won’t have to do that because just like Zayn you’re my brother now. I love you guys. You’re starting a new journey together and people usually say marriage is a hell of a ride and the first year is the hardest but I know you guys won’t have any issues. You know why? Because you make love seem like it’s the easiest, most simplest thing in this world. And if your love comes so naturally, easily, and without any grievances or hidden bitterness, your marriage will come just as easily. Congratulations you guys. I love you.”

 

Everyone was cheering and Zayn was standing up from his lap with teary eyes but Harry held up a hand. “I’m not totally done. To finish off, and to the utter embarrassment of my best friend, I will read an excerpt from Zayn’s diary, written in junior high when we were 13.”

 

“No!” Zayn shouted as he turned red. Liam tugged Zayn down with a laugh as he flushed completely.

 

“Dear Diary… what’s it like to be kissed? Harry says it feels pretty good. He kissed Ryan behind the school today and he said it felt really nice. Harry has the confidence to kiss someone. In fact he has the looks and charms that people would want to kiss him. Who would want to kiss me? I don’t think I’ll ever find someone to kiss… but maybe, if by the time I’m twenty I find someone who wants to kiss me, and he’s a nice man, with nice hair and nice eyes, I’ll be in love with him. Because truthfully, I don’t really want to kiss too many people. I want to be in love with the person I kiss like Maa and Baba. And then marry him if that’s possible. I hope he has a nice smile. Maa says after a long day at work it’s nice to come home and get a smile and a kiss from the person you love. Hopefully my soulmate will have a nice smile. And he’ll kiss me so good that it’ll be worth it to be marrying him for the kisses.” Everyone was laughing themselves to tears or cooing at Zayn who was hiding his face in Liam’s chest out of sheer embarrassment.

 

Liam couldn’t stop laughing at how cute and innocent this young Zayn sounded. His hopes and expectations were quite sweet and funnily enough came true because the first person he kissed ended up being Liam who was now his husband.

 

“I promise that I’ll kiss you so good every day that it’ll be worth it to stay married to me,” Liam said jokingly into Zayn’s ear who punched him weakly.

 

“Dreams do come true!” Harry shouted over the laughter. “You found someone who kisses good and has a nice smile and you married him too! Good work ZayZay! And now I’m out. Congratulations you beautiful bastards. I love you so much. Here’s to Liam and Zayn who prove that true love exists and prospers and that no matter what we expect from life, no matter how much it kicks us down, we can find love in the funniest ways and strangest places, when we least expect it. And that love is all we need in this world. Thank you. Love you.” Harry finished with a grin and everyone stood up to applaud him. Zayn was shaking his head at Harry but clapping anyways.

 

Harry bounded up to them with a grin and Zayn hit him on the side of the head as he came up to them. “You’re an ass for reading that,” Zayn said but pulled Harry into a hug.

 

“That was a great speech Haz,” Liam said and hugged Harry tightly.

 

“On your wedding day, I’m exposing your Teen Wolf fanfiction writing from your junior high days,” Zayn mumbled as Harry squeezed him. When Harry squawked in surprise, Zayn grinned and hugged him. “Joking. Thanks, Hazzle. That was a beautiful speech.”

 

“You’re welcome babe.” Harry kissed his cheek and they sat down as Louis gave a speech and then Doniya and Waliyha gave theirs. When speeches were officially over and everyone was all cried out and aching with laughter, people started moving to the dance floor. Liam had gotten pulled onto the dance floor by Miguel and Ameera and Zayn had slipped away to go speak with his parents. Everyone was dancing the night away and Liam was dancing to ‘Single Ladies’ with Safaa and Lily when the music turned off and a tap sounded on the mic. Liam turned around and saw Zayn standing nervously at the mic.

 

“Hi everyone. Hope you’ve been having a lovely time so far and you’ve liked what we’ve done here because it took a lot of hard work. Umm... I have something planned so if everyone could take a seat for a second,” Zayn said and smiled nervously.

 

Liam smiled and started to move back to his original seat but Louis grabbed his arm with a grin and signalled to a seat near the front of the dance floor where he would have a clear view of Zayn. Liam settled into the seat and looked at Zayn who was watching him with a smile. Liam mouthed ‘love you’ and winked which made Zayn smile brightly.

 

“Jaan… you told me that you fell in love with me when you heard me sing. And then the day I confessed my love I sang you a song which I guess has in a way become our song since it holds so much meaning to us now. And how could it be our wedding day without that song playing? But I told the band I didn’t want them to just play it. I wanted to sing it for you. So here it is babe. I love you and I am so blessed to be able to call you my husband now.” Zayn smiled softly at him and Liam kissed two of his fingers and pointed them at Zayn.

 

_‘Wise men say… only fools rush in…but I can’t help falling in love with you…’_

There was a hush in the room as Zayn’s melodic voice rang out. His eyes stayed locked on Liam’s and they were clear and steady. His expression was full of love and Liam felt his body warm with the same feeling. It wasn’t possible to hold this much love for one person in his heart but he did. He did for Zayn.

 

_‘Shall I stay… would it be a sin… If I can’t help falling in love with you.’_

Zayn’s voice was cracking slightly and Liam could see his eyes welling up. His own eyes pricked with tears and his heart threatened to explode as he watched Zayn sing his heart out. Sing the song he had sang when they first confessed their love. The song he had used to win Liam back after they had broken up. The song which was now playing on their wedding day.

 

_‘Like a river flows, surely to the sea, darling so it goes, some things are meant to be. Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can’t help falling in love with you.’_

 

Zayn finished singing to thundering applause and whistles and Liam got up, feeling almost light-headed. Zayn’s voice always left him breathless. Liam had fallen in love with that voice. He couldn’t live without it. Liam walked over to the front of the stage and held out his hands. Zayn stepped forward and placed his hands on Liam’s shoulders to hop down with his help but Liam just held him in his arms and kissed him.

 

“I will never stop being blown away whenever you sing that song,” Liam murmured.

 

“Yeah? Even if I sing it at our first anniversary, fifth anniversary, tenth anniversary and so on?” Zayn asked though teary laughs.

 

“Never,” Liam confirmed and pressed their lips together for another kiss. The band was playing a soft instrumental version of ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’ with Zayn now off the stage. Liam took his hand and led him to the middle of the dance floor. He wrapped his arms around Zayn’s waist who wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck. Liam smiled at him and Zayn grinned and relaxed his head against Liam’s chest as they slowly swayed to the music. Other people slowly drifted onto the dance floor to slow-dance to the song as well. But Liam just closed his eyes and held his world in his arms and let the happiness of the moment envelop them completely.

 

 

**

 

 

It was near the end of the ceremony when the kids had been taken away to sleep and some guests had left as well. Most of the people were now really getting into the alcohol and crazy behaviour on the dancefloor as the clock started to tick towards 1 a.m. Zayn was in the middle of talking to his aunts as they teased him and gave him some relationship advice when he felt arms around him from behind.

 

“Separation anxiety already Liam?” Zayn’s aunt Zileh teased.

 

“A tad,” Liam laughed. “No I’m actually here to steal this beautiful man for a second.” His aunts cooed and Zayn stared back at Liam with a smile.

 

“For food? Because I’ve barely eaten,” Zayn joked although it was true. All morning he had severe anxiety about the ceremony and hadn’t touched any food. The reception had been them going around talking to all the guests and he’d barely touched his dinner. Now he was ravenous.

 

“I’ll feed you in a few my love,” Liam assured him with a kiss. “But first I have a little surprise for you. Come.”

 

Liam lead him by the hand to the dancefloor where everyone was clearing away. “What is it?” Zayn asked suspiciously.

 

“Well you sang for me and let’s just say I have a little something for you as well. Something I couldn’t do at the bachelor party,” Liam said with a grin. He took Zayn to the front of the dancefloor and made him sit in a lone chair facing the floor. Everyone else was sitting down too and Zayn felt a little nervous. Liam left him with a kiss and wink and Zayn stared after him in confusion.

 

The lights completely turned off and then the smoke machine filled the dance floor with thick smoke. One light hit the middle of the dance floor just as the beat for Usher’s ‘Good Kisser’ began and Zayn gasped as he saw Liam standing with his back to the crowd. Zayn covered his mouth on a laugh as everyone started cheering loudly. Liam turned around and winked at Zayn.

 

_‘I done been around the world, I done kissed a lot of girls, so I'm guessin' that it's true. Make me holla and I bet a million dollars, don't nobody kiss it like you. Don't nobody kiss it like you, don't nobody kiss it like you baby. Don't nobody kiss it like you, don't nobody kiss it like you.’_

 

Liam began dancing and Zayn felt something like electricity course through his body. Liam looked fucking amazing. His sleeves were rolled up, a few buttons open and his bow tie hung loose around his neck. His hair was already messy from all the dancing and a strand fell in his eyes. Zayn couldn’t believe that Liam was singing about getting amazing blow jobs (from Zayn since he was looking at him with a smirk) and his face flushed because his parents and relatives were here. But it was too good, and sue him but he loved to watch Liam dance.

 

_‘See, I told her the devil is a lie. Them other girls can't compete with mine. You do it so good, you fuck my mind. You pull it out, then you open wide. You make me wanna tap out and retire. Your pretty lips leave me so inspired.’_

Zayn spluttered and blushed as Liam moved his body provocatively and danced right up to him. Then he gently lifted Zayn’s face and tapped his lips before he grinned and moved back. Tom and Miguel joined him and they seemed to have choreographed this since they all danced smoothly in co-ordination. Zayn covered his face and laughed into his hands as arousal and shock both hit his body. Everyone was screaming and whistling as the three danced like some seasoned strippers although it was totally outrageous and was toned down from what Liam had done at CeCe’s a few years ago,

_'Cause she's such a good kisser, got lipstick on my leg, oh baby. She's such a good kisser. Imma rain on this parade. Oh baby.’_

Zayn shrieked with laughter as Liam slid across the floor on his knees to him and then he jumped up and tilted Zayn’s chair back and kissed his neck. Zayn smacked him lightly and laughed as Liam winked at him with a smirk on his face and went back to dancing alone.

 

_‘Listen, the only thing I know, you give it to me, baby, with good flow. Don't ever run it back, come on, keep goin. Just give it to me, give it up to me, give it up to me. I can't keep my control every time that I see you hit that floor. Just keep on givin' it to me, I want mine. Just come on baby, just give it to me, give it up to me.’_

Liam tugged Zayn to the floor and everyone cheered them on louder. Zayn was absolutely red but he allowed Liam to twirl him around and when he fell into his chest, he hugged the man tightly. Liam lifted him off the ground and kissed his cheek.

 

“You’re a dead man,” Zayn said between giggles.

 

“I love you too,” Liam laughed. They kissed in the middle of laughs as people starting throwing money on them and applauding them and whistling for them. Zayn closed his eyes and couldn’t help his ridiculous smile pressed right against Liam’s smiling mouth.

 

 

**

 

“Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you! That is how I know you, go onnnn!”

 

Liam walked up to the deck and crossed his arms as he grinned. It was a warm summer night, he was a on a yacht with his new husband as they coasted along the sea, and said new husband was up on the stern with a bottle of champagne and singing ‘My Heart Will Go On.’

 

Zayn was in nothing but a white button down as he kept an unsteady arm around the pole and slowly circled it while singing. It a day after the wedding and they were going towards their honeymoon location. Liam had rented a small private island off the coast of Greece and they had flown there the day after the wedding and were now on a small yacht, going towards the island.

 

“Someone’s in a good mood,” Liam said as he walked over to the stern.

 

“Come be my Jack!” Zayn shouted and waved him over excitedly.

 

“He dies. Are you sure you want to be a widow so fast?” Liam asked jokingly.

 

“Don’t say things like that,” Zayn said with a frown. “Come here.” Liam jumped up and walked up to Zayn to wrap him in his arms and kiss his forehead.

 

“Are you a little bit drunk?” Liam asked and tapped Zayn’s nose.

 

“No. Promise. I only had a few sips since we’re celebrating our wedding. We’re going to finally be together as a married couple if you know what I mean. I can’t be drunk,” Zayn said and turned around so Liam’s arms were around his waist from behind.

 

“Mmm.” Liam ran his lips over Zayn’s neck and kissed him a few times before biting the skin. They hadn’t had sex on their actual wedding night. The reception had ended at 3 a.m. and although they had the penthouse suite in the PC hotel in the city, they had fallen straight to bed once getting there. They had been wiped. The next day had been a final brunch with everyone and packing for the honeymoon and then travelling to Greece. Now they were finally on their way to some alone time. To have a real wedding night.

 

“Or you can just fuck me right here,” Zayn whispered and tilted his head back to nip Liam’s lip. Liam considered the idea. Zayn looked beautiful right now, his wind-swept hair, his red lips, his bare legs. But the man sailing the yacht could see them and honestly Liam wanted to take his time so they could have an amazing wedding night.

 

“Sounds enticing. But looks like we’re here,” Liam nudged Zayn to look forward. They were slowly edging towards the dock of the little island. The gorgeous beach house was visible from the boat because the island was really tiny, but it was private which was all Liam wanted. The lights were on in the house since people had obviously been over to clean and leave food.

 

“Oh I would love to just live here!” Zayn gasped. They docked and got their suitcases out, Zayn pulled pants on, and Liam thanked the man who had brought them out here. They got onto the deck and the mini-yacht started edging away.

 

“This is gorgeous!” Zayn said. It really was. All white sand, turquoise water and cliffs. The beach house was made of cool stones and a stony walkway lead up to it. Zayn turned around and smiled at him and then bounded up to the house. Liam followed with a smile and unlocked the doors so they could get in. Once inside, they left their bags in the living room and walked out the back doors to the beach. It was night time right now and the moon over the sea looked extraordinary.

 

“Amazing,” Zayn said and walked forward so his bare feet were in the waves splashing over the sand. Liam went over to him and hugged him from behind. “Thank you for this beautiful honeymoon. It’s nothing compared to my wedding present.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Liam said and touched the gold bracelet Zayn had given him which had an inscription saying ‘Zayn&Liam m.2022.’ Liam loved it. “It’s so beautiful.”

 

Zayn smiled and turned to him. He linked his left hand with Liam’s and lifted it so their gold bands knocked together. “ _This_ is beautiful.”

 

Liam smiled gently and drew Zayn forward with steady hands on his waist. “Come here baby,” he whispered. Zayn curved his body forward and closed his eyes as their lips met in a series of soft kisses which turned deeper. The cool water was brushing over their bare feet and Liam grabbed the backs of Zayn’s thighs to urge him up. Zayn made a sound of pleasure into Liam’s mouth and wrapped his legs around his waist. The kiss turned needy quickly and Liam walked back into the house towards the bedroom. The light was off but the curtains were pushed open over the glass doors leading to the beach, so the moonlight was illuminating the room.

 

Liam walked over to the bed and pushed the gauzy curtains around it aside so he could climb onto the bed with Zayn around him. Liam kissed down his neck and unbuttoned the shirt he was wearing. When he pushed it open he immediately began kissing down the warm skin of Zayn’s torso. Zayn ran fingers through Liam’s hair as he sighed softly. Liam kissed his way across Zayn’s hipbones before unbuttoning his pants and drawing them off.

 

“You too,” Zayn ordered with a grin. Liam smiled and peeled off his shirt. He had just thrown it away when Zayn sat up halfway and ran hands over Liam’s chest before kissing his pec. “My husband is so sexy,” Zayn whispered.

 

Liam grinned and ducked forward to kiss Zayn and bite his lip. “What would you like Mr. Malik?”

 

“Uh-uh,” Zayn grinned as he fell back against the pillows. “It’s Mr. Malik-Payne.”

 

“Of course,” Liam laughed gently and kissed his forehead. “What would you like Mr. Malik-Payne? What would my beautiful husband like tonight?”

 

“Ummm… a little bit of kissing, a little bit of loving, a little bit of fucking,” Zayn said between giggles.

 

“It’s doable,” Liam chuckled and leaned down to press tender kisses to Zayn’s face. He finished undressing himself and then removed Zayn’s briefs. He moved down the bed and lifted Zayn’s legs over his shoulders. He looked up and Zayn already looked hazy. Liam smiled and kissed the soft flesh on the inside of his thigh before running his tongue down gently.

 

“Fuck jaan. Five years in and you can still take me apart with your tongue,” Zayn groaned, head thrown back as Liam ran his tongue down his ass.

 

“I know your body baby,” Liam hummed and ducked forward to push his tongue in deeper. Zayn cried out softly and his hands dropped to the sheets. Liam spent time using just his tongue and fingers to open Zayn up slowly. He stopped while Zayn was begging for release and blew him slowly and teasingly until Zayn came down his throat. Liam let him recover for a second but within a moments Zayn was pushing him down to take Liam into his mouth. Liam groaned, and tried to hold on long, but Zayn was skillful with his mouth and knew what pushed Liam over the edge. But right before he came, Zayn pulled away.

 

“You have to come inside me,” Zayn said in a rough voice. Liam grinned, his body heated, and he flipped them so Zayn was pressed into the mattress. He linked their hands above Zayn’s head and seeing their wedding rings shining in the dark room made him lean down and kiss Zayn softly. He then slowly eased his way into Zayn’s tight heat as he gasped below him. When Zayn told him to move, Liam did. He built up a slow rhythm like he knew Zayn liked at first and then he sped up and soon enough Zayn was biting Liam’s lip hard as he came over his stomach. Liam spilled inside him right after and they stayed attached for a bit, breathing heavily.

 

Liam slipped out and Zayn made a face as he reached down to touch the warm cum slipping out of him. Liam laughed and kissed his nose and Zayn smacked him lightly. Liam got up to grab a wet towel and he came back and cleaned Zayn off while pressing kisses to his thighs and stomach and whispering ‘I love you’ until Zayn was giggling. When he was done, he tossed the towel aside and fell back onto the bed. Zayn rolled over immediately to lie on top of him and Liam held him tightly and possessively as love coursed through his body.

 

“Did it feel extra good because it’s our honeymoon or is it just me?” Zayn asked in a tired voice.

 

“Felt average to me,” Liam joked and Zayn bit his neck. “Kidding! Seriously baby you’re fucking incredible and we one up ourselves every time. Married sex feels nice,” Liam said with a grin.

 

“It sure does. I love you,” Zayn sighed blissfully and held on tighter.

 

“Love you too my angel,” Liam murmured and kissed his head.

 

Zayn looked up at him with eyes full of bliss and a mouth curving into a soft smile. “Do you know the Urdu lyrics I said during my vows?”

 

“They were beautiful,” Liam said and pushed Zayn’s hair out of his eyes.

 

“Yeh jo halka halka suroor hai, yeh teri nazar ka kusoor hai, ke sharaab peena sikha diya. Tere pyaar ne, teri chaah ne, teri behki behki nigaah ne, mujhe ek sharaabi bana diya,” Zayn whispered in a pure velvety voice. “It means… this slight intoxication that I’m feeling is the fault of your gaze. It has made me feel like I’m drunk. Your love, your adoration, your lustful eyes have turned me into an alcoholic.”

 

“That’s heavy,” Liam whispered.

 

“It’s a beautiful song, actually a qawwali, that equates the feeling of love and lust you see in your lover’s eyes to the feeling of being drunk without actually drinking alcohol,” Zayn murmured and traced his lips. “It makes me think of you.”

 

“I love you,” Liam said softly and cupped Zayn’s face to kiss him again. They could hear the waves crashing over the beach through the open glass doors. The sound fell on their ears like music and tangled with their heavy breaths as they lost themselves in one another again.

 

 

**

 

 

“The sea is an abyss. It’s scary.”

 

Zayn dropped a variety of flowers onto the long wooden table in the kitchen of the beach house. Liam pressed a kiss to his head as he moved over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. “I’ll be with you,” Liam said to him.

 

“I’ll think about it,” Zayn said. “No diving. Just shallow waters.”

 

“Promise,” Liam replied and peeled off his sweaty shirt as Zayn started to put the flowers into a vase. They had been exploring the island all day long and had come across a cliff some feet tall that provided a great diving spot straight into a lagoon. Liam had coaxed Zayn into the water for a bit but the latter was not ready to dive just set. The sun was just beginning to set and it was casting a sharp golden light across the whole beach house.

 

“I’m gonna shower,” Liam said.

 

“Mhm,” Zayn said and ran his eyes slowly down Liam’s body unashamedly before looking back at his face and grinning. They had been insatiable in their love-making so far. It had been two days and they had fucked almost everywhere in the house and on the beach many times. No matter what they were doing, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other.

 

“Do you want to join me?” Liam asked with a smirk.

 

“No you go ahead babe. I’m gonna start dinner,” Zayn said although he gave Liam a long kiss. Liam pecked him once more before he went into the washroom.

 

When Liam finished showering he put on just a pair of jeans and came outside. Music was on. It was Miguel’s ‘Adorn’ that was playing and it made Liam smile. The doors leading to the beach from the bedroom were open. Liam went over to close them but arms wrapped around his waist from behind and stopped him. Liam smiled as Zayn pressed kisses to his back and hummed along to the song.

 

Liam turned around and stopped when he saw Zayn. He had completely transformed from when Liam had left him. He was now wearing just a pair of white Versace briefs that were sheer at the back and had the gold Versace design on the waistband. He wore a white sheer embroidered button down shirt that was open at the front of top and his hair was styled. He was wearing the hoop nose ring Liam had given him last year which was a change from the stud he had been wearing the past few months. Zayn knew exactly what he was doing because he knew Liam secretly preferred the hoop nose ring, something about it was incredibly sexy. 

 

Zayn gently pushed Liam back towards the bed. Liam moved back and settled back against the pillows as Zayn circled around the bed, slowly swaying to the song and singing along to the lyrics. He stopped at the foot of the bed and smiled softly at Liam before running his hand down his chest as he danced slowly and touched himself in light caresses. Liam grinned at him and watched as Zayn stepped onto the bed and raised his hands up to the grab the wooden beam of the four-poster bed where the curtains were tied back. Liam got up on his knees and moved forward as Zayn swayed slowly. Liam gripped his hips and pressed a kiss to his stomach as Miguel sang the part ‘I’ll always adore you.’ Zayn was looking at him with dark eyes and Liam pressed more kisses across his stomach and then his thighs.

 

“Is this a delayed wedding present?” Liam asked with a grin as he ran his lips across Zayn’s stomach and peered up at him.

 

“It can be whatever you want it to be,” Zayn said smoothly with a smile.

 

“Oh really? Are you sure about that?” Liam asked with a smirk and pulled Zayn down into his lap.

 

“Wouldn’t say so if I wasn’t,” Zayn replied with a smile.

 

“Hmm.” Liam flipped them over so Zayn was underneath him. He laughed and Liam pressed a kiss to his parted lips before moving back. “Gonna be good for me?

“Yeah,” Zayn replied with a grin and lifted his hands above his head. “So good you could weep.”

 

Liam grinned and tickled his fingers along Zayn’s sides which made him screech loudly. “Jesus Christ baby!” Liam laughed. “The way you scream is loud enough to wake people on the other side of the world. There’s regular screaming, intermediary screaming, and yours is like you’re being murdered.”

 

“Well then don’t tickle me!” Zayn said and bit Liam’s shoulder.

 

“Okay well how about this,” Liam murmured and ducked down to kiss along Zayn’s neck.

 

“Much better,” Zayn sighed.

 

“Let my love adorn you,” Liam sang along softly and kissed his way down Zayn’s body. Zayn was smiling at him as his body squirmed. With his tongue Liam traced the word ‘adore’ on Zayn’s stomach. He looked up and winked at Zayn before sliding his briefs off and lowering his mouth which made Zayn choke on a loud moan.

 

 

**

 

 

Later when they were sitting tangled up in one another on one of the beach chairs out back as they watched the sunset, Zayn tangled his fingers with the Cartier and angel necklaces that sat on Liam’s chest and looked up at him with hesitation in his eyes.

 

“Jaan?” Zayn asked.

 

“Hmm?” Liam looked down at Zayn who was looking up at him with his chin resting on Liam’s chest.

 

“I need to talk to you about something,” Zayn said softly.

 

“What’s up?” Liam said and stroked his hair while pressing a kiss to his forehead.

 

“Remember how I said that I didn’t want to delay the wedding until after medical school because I didn’t want to put my life on hold?” Zayn said.

 

“Yeah,” Liam replied and looked down at him curiously. Zayn looked nervous which was strange and Liam had no clue what he wanted to say.

 

“Well I meant that in every way. I want us to actually begin our life when we get back to New York,” Zayn said and leaned up to kiss his jaw.

 

“We are starting our life my love. Our new life as a married couple,” Liam replied.

 

“I know. I meant like… remember when you said you didn’t want to move into the house outside the city until you were ready to settle down? I think… I think now that that we’re married we should move into the house. New chapter in our life… new house. Our future house. You showed me that house when you let me know that I would be your future and now we’re ready jaan. We’re ready too officially move into our future home,” Zayn said while looking at him with a steadiness in his eyes.

 

“Sweetheart, believe me, I have thought about it. Picturing us in that house, in our bedroom with the skylight, taking canoe rides on the lake, you painting in the room looking over the lake. But right now probably wouldn’t be a good idea. Med school is stressful enough but living far away from campus will only add to your stress. You’d be travelling 45 minutes to get to campus for classes, and your TA job as well,” Liam said.

 

The truth was that he had thought about moving into the house he had shown Zayn many years ago as his future house, and that they had visited many times over the years, but realistically he realized it wouldn’t be the best move because Zayn would have to travel more than usual to get to the Columbia campus every day. Liam wasn’t too worried about his own work because his schedule was flexible and he created his own work hours and could even work more from home, unlike Zayn who would have a grueling schedule for the next three to four years.

 

“I knew you’d say that and I thought about it too. But it already takes me 15 to 20 minutes to get to campus from our apartment. What’s another 20 or 30 minutes or so? I used to travel from Brooklyn to RED every day when I interned and it took me 45 minutes or more as well. I didn’t even mind. I got used to it,” Zayn said quickly and smiled at Liam. “It’ll be fine jaan. I swear it will. I want us to start our married life in that house.”

 

“I don’t want to see you overwhelmed. You almost collapsed under the pressure of wedding planning while juggling the stress of first year. You have two more to go and then you’re going to be doing your residency in the city too,” Liam pointed out and cupped his face to kiss him lightly.

 

“Not necessarily. There’s a hospital 15 minutes from the house with one of the biggest children’s ward where I can do it. And wedding planning is crazy. Now it’s done. All I have to focus on is school. And you know me, I’m better at balancing school and stress now. I now know the ins and out of med school and I can deal with the anxiety. And besides, worst comes to worst, you said you won’t sell the penthouse so we can relocate there if things get difficult. Or if on certain days I need to spend the night in the city. Please jaan? At least a trial run?” Zayn asked eagerly.

 

Liam looked at Zayn’s eyes as they pleaded him to say yes. If anybody could argue a good case it was Zayn (and his big hazel eyes were quite convincing too but that was beside the point). “Okay baby. Let’s do it. But we’ll start on a trial run basis and if you’re worn down by the commuting at all we’ll move back to the penthouse. Sound good?”

 

“Sounds perfect,” Zayn said happily and wrapped his arms around Liam to kiss him. “We’re going to be so happy there. I know it.”

“As long as I have you, anywhere at all in this world, I’ll be the happiest man on earth,” Liam said and tightened his arms around Zayn to roll him on top of himself and he kissed him passionately. Zayn smiled brightly against his lips and nodded in agreement as he moved to straddle Liam so he could deepen the kiss into much more. Happiness sparked between them like electricity and they kissed excitedly and passionately as they thought of their future to come.

 

**

 

 

**A Few Months Later**

It was late by the time the car service pulled down the long driveway and stopped in front of the house. The lights were on inside giving a clear view of the house and Liam smiled. Home. Home after being gone for two weeks. Two weeks on a business trip which had been successful but had made him miss home and his husband. They had been married for only a few months but knock on wood it felt like the honeymoon period would never end. After the actual honeymoon had ended and they had returned home, it took some time to get back into things and start shifting for the move.

 

By the end of August they had moved into the house and started turning it from a house into a home. There were many thigs they still had planned, but it didn’t take much time for it to feel like their home. The best surprise had been a few weeks ago when Liam had returned from a meeting in the city and had found a guilty looking Zayn in the kitchen holding a bowl of water.

 

_“What did you do?” Liam asked with grin as he tossed his jacket over a chair._

_“I thought you wouldn’t be home for an hour,” Zayn said with wide eyes._

_“Well the meeting ended quickly since this time the board didn’t argue over little things. What –”_

_That’s when he heard the bark. Liam paused and looked at Zayn with a raised brow. “Zayn… what was that?”_

_“Don’t be mad… but my friend Bina’s dog gave birth to five puppies a few weeks ago and they are still having a tough time giving them up for adoption so I said I’d take one. But Li she’s so, so cute and so gentle and she and Ray already get along!” Zayn said with a flushed grin._

_“Baby, you can’t just a bring a dog home without at least talking –” Liam paused as a small brown and white corgi ran into the kitchen letting out tiny barks. If Liam had any hesitations at first, they all evaporated when he saw the puppy bound up to Zayn and run in circles for the water. Zayn smiled and placed the bowl down as she began to drink._

_“And what’s your name?” Liam asked as he bent to scratch the puppy behind her ear._

_“I named her Arya,” Zayn blurted out and smiled widely._

_“I see we’re sticking to the Game of Thrones theme,” Liam laughed and stood up._

 

_“Harry and Lou offered to take her if you didn’t want to,” Zayn said slowly._

_“Who said I didn’t want to?” Liam asked with a smile. Zayn grinned back and threw his arms around Liam’s neck to kiss him._

Liam thanked the driver and paid him before grabbing his carry-on and briefcase and walking up to the front door. They had electronic keys that tapped to unlock the door and then a small security code in addition to the security code at the gates at the end of the driveway. The precaution was necessary since they had no neighbors for miles. Liam entered and heard loud music coming from the other end of the house. The smell of something spicy was in the air too. Liam placed his bags in the entrance and placed his shoes on the rack where Zayn had placed a sign he found in a thrift shop that said ‘Take off your shoes please!’ before he made his way to the kitchen. It was in the back of the house with massive windows that overlooked the back grounds and was big enough for cooking meals, hosting dinners like they usually did and even the occasional food fights.

 

As he came to the archway leading into the kitchen, Liam grinned when he saw what was before him. Zayn was wearing dungarees with pain splatters on them, one strap hanging loose, a black and white striped t-shirt underneath, the pants bit rolled up and socks with Pikachu on them. He had his glasses on, hair messy and was stirring a pot on the stove. But what made Liam smile was that Zayn was dancing to Shakira’s ‘Whenever, Wherever’ as Ray and Arya both sat patiently on the side and watched him. Zayn swayed his hips as he lifted the wooden spoon stained with sauce to his mouth and sang along loudly.

 

“Guys come on! How will we become the biggest band in the world if you two don’t participate? We’ll be kicked out of X-Factor before the final round!” Zayn said with a grin as he looked at the two animals who had their heads cocked at him.

 

“Whenever, wherever, we’re meant to be together. I’ll be there and you’ll be near and that’s the deal my dear,” Zayn crooned along with Shakira. “There over, here –” Zayn stumbled to a stop when he turned to where Liam was standing and watching him with a grin.

 

“Don’t stop on my account,” Liam said with a chuckle.

 

“Jaan!” Zayn yelled and tossed the spoon aside to run over to Liam and jump into his arms, arms around his neck and legs around his waist. “You’re home!”

 

“I missed you my love,” Liam murmured into Zayn’s hair and inhaled the scent of his pomegranate shampoo which hadn’t switched out over the years. He squeezed him tightly and felt the slightest bit alarmed at how weightless Zayn felt in his arms.

 

“Hi husband,” Zayn moved back and beamed at him. “Welcome home.”

 

“Hi angel,” Liam said with a soft laugh and moved to settle Zayn on the kitchen island before kissing him. He started with short pecks and then licked Zayn’s lips gently to kiss him more deeply. He tasted of tomato sauce and Liam smiled as he moved back to kiss him all over his face. “I missed you so much,” Liam whispered into Zayn’s skin.

 

“I missed you too husband,” Zayn said with a wide grin.

 

“You use the word husband more than my name,” Liam laughed and tugged Zayn forward to kiss him again.

 

“Well I love using it. You’re my husband, my man, all mine.” Zayn giggled and kissed him again. “It sounds good when I say it.”

 

“My husband,” Liam said and kissed his neck gently. “My baby, my angel, my love, my life, my heart –”

 

“My everything,” Zayn said at the same time as him and they both laughed before they fell into another kiss.

 

“My sauce will burn!” Zayn shouted and pushed him away to hop off the island and run to the stove. Arya had been barking at Liam’s leg so he bent down and scratched her back before kissing her head. Ray was calmly watching from the corner and Liam went over to scratch his ear too, making him purr.

 

“Dinner in ten. Go wash up,” Zayn called over his shoulder.

 

Liam kissed his cheek before he went upstairs and put away his bags before showering and changing into comfortable sweats and a t-shirt. He came back down to Zayn putting a pasta dish on the table. He caught him around his waist and kissed him breathless for a few minutes before helping him set the table. They sat down to dinner and talked about the past two weeks although there wasn’t much the other didn’t know since they had face-timed twice a day. But Liam still relayed the events that took place at his conference in London and Zayn told him about the cadaver they had studied and how a boy had run out vomiting. When dinner was over, they put away their dishes and then Liam went to the lounge and turned on the TV to some news channel while Zayn made some tea.

 

Ray and Arya were all over him, probably in their excitement of not having seen him for two weeks. Liam sat on the ground and tried to give them both equal attention while they ran around. Zayn walked in holding two mugs and notebook pressed under his arm. He placed the mugs on the ground beside Liam and gave the pets a look.

 

“Okay guys, you’ve had enough of daddy’s attention. Now it’s my time,” Zayn said with a grin. He kissed Ray and Arya’s heads before giving them toys to play with. Then he settled in the V between Liam’s legs and leaned back against him. Liam grinned and wrapped one arm around Zayn’s chest and one around his waist, slipping a hand into his dungarees to rub his stomach. He pulled him back into his chest and kissed all over the side of his face. Zayn gave a deep sigh and tilted his head back to kiss Liam.

 

“I brought you these,” Liam said and grabbed a box off the sofa to give to Zayn. It was macarons from Paris. Zayn smiled and turned around to kiss Liam and hug him tightly. Then he turned back around and ripped open the box to eat one before getting comfortable. He opened his notebook and flipped a few pages before landing on one covered entirely in microscopic writing and colorful diagrams of different human muscles.

 

Liam sipped his tea and watched the news while holding Zayn close, feeling himself relax just having his husband near him, in their home, and listening to Zayn murmur under his breath as he reviewed his notes. The sound of it was strangely calming.

 

It was a few hours later when they lay wrapped up on the sofa, Zayn dozing on his chest, TV off, the animals already asleep in their beds, that Liam broached the topic he had been thinking of constantly.

 

“Angel?” Liam said softly and rubbed Zayn’s back.

 

“Shh. Sleeping,” Zayn mumbled.

 

Liam smiled and kissed his head. “I have to talk to you.” Zayn looked up at him and yawned while rubbing his eyes.

 

“Is this about the three hundred-dollar sofa I bought for your office? I know I said I was going to be buying you just a lamp but it was this sick red velvet sofa and –”

 

“What? No baby it’s not about a sofa. I’m sure the sofa is great. This is about you,” Liam said and sat up while helping Zayn up too.

 

“Okay,” Zayn said slowly. “What happened?”

 

“Maybe you can tell me. I think I’ve been noticing something changing for about two months now but I didn’t realize anything until I spent these two weeks away from you and came home. Baby, are you okay?” Liam asked and stroked Zayn’s cheek.

 

“I’m fine,” Zayn said with a furrowed brow. “What do you mean?”

 

“You’ve been losing weight. You felt weightless like a feather when I was holding you in the kitchen and it was a little frightening. You look like you’ve barely been sleeping,” Liam said and rubbed a finger under Zayn’s eye.

 

“I haven’t really,” Zayn said with a shrug and tugged uncomfortably on his dungarees. “It’s these loose clothes. You’re just worried about me but there’s nothing.”  
  
“Sweetheart, don’t shut me out. We’re married. We’re supposed to be communicating and talking about things. Not hiding things like years back when we went through hell by simply not talking. So tell me what’s wrong love. I love you and only care about you being happy and healthy,” Liam said and kissed his head.  
  
Zayn sighed and leaned into him. “I guess I’ve lost some weight. I- I don’t really know what’s specifically causing it. School is a lot I mean that’s obvious. If you’re not giving med school your 150% then you’re basically failing. And I know I shouldn’t have taken on the lab job while also doing the TA job but I thought experience and good money were a plus. And the anxiety starts to build up sometimes and I guess I forget to eat when I’m so busy and stressed and with you away I’ve been on edge a little in the empty house and missing you and it’s all... too much.” Zayn took a deep breath and looked at Liam with a slightly guilty expression.  
  
“Does being in the house alone make you anxious? Why didn’t you tell me? You could have gone to stay with your parents or even to the penthouse for the two weeks,” Liam said as guilt set in.  
  
“Don’t do that,” Zayn said sternly. “Don’t feel guilty because I said that. I don’t mean to make you feel badly. Yes a big empty house with no one around for miles is a little nerve racking when I’m alone but I want to be here. It’s home. I don’t feel completely at peace anywhere else. And it’s not the house as much as it is being without you. I guess missing you along with other stressful catalysts becomes an ugly mess. But I don’t want you to feel badly. You push me to achieve my dreams and live my life to the fullest and you cheer on my success. I want all that for you as well. It’s only because this was the first time you travelled for so long since we got married. Nothing else. I’m fine. I’ll be fine. I want you to be doing everything that you love and taking your company to every peak you see for it yeah?”  
  
“I love you for saying that, but you will always be my first priority. I promise I’ll try to keep my trips shorter because these long weeks without each other is taking too much of a toll on both of us. But why have you been skipping meals? Did you see Dr. Kapur about this?” Liam asked and picked up Zayn’s hand to kiss it.  
  
“Yeah. She says it’s the anxiety. It’s curbing my appetite and that I barely give myself room to breathe let alone think of food. And sleeping four hours at night is starting to tire my body out. I have a slight iron deficiency,” Zayn mumbled.  
  
“Zayn... you can’t go on like this,” Liam said and hugged him close. “I know you’re working so damn hard to achieve all your goals and you will baby. You’re hard working and intelligent and ambitious and your future is bright. But don’t ignore your health in the process. You need to work on yourself too. Your health needs to be your priority.”  
  
“I know. It’s hard sometimes,” Zayn mumbled into his chest. “Everyone in my class is a fucking genius and their confidence levels are insane. They have nothing holding them back from being confident, outgoing and capable and they’ll get great recommendations. I feel like sometimes my social anxiety makes me lag behind.”  
  
“What? That is not true. You’re at the top of you your class and you said yourself that your professor personally recommended you for your last clinical rounds. You’re not lagging behind anyone or anything. You’ll get accepted into a great hospital for your residency and the exams are already something you’re good at. Don’t stress yourself out over things like that. You’re at the top of your class in Columbia’s med school. That sentence alone should make you burst with pride. I know I do,” Liam said and kissed his head.  
  
“Thank you jaan,” Zayn whispered into his neck and hugged him tightly. “I know all of that’s true but sometimes my mind gets the better of me. I don’t want to self loathe but my anxiety is a bitch. And I promise on working on the food and sleep thing. Maa already yelled at me. I’m going to get better at cooking myself food and taking it to school with me so I can’t forget to eat. It’s little steps.”  
  
“I’m glad. And please don’t hide these things from me. Even if you just want to tell me something as simple as the fact that you haven’t been sleeping and don’t feel great, I want to know. Okay?” Liam said and Zayn nodded.  
  
“Come with me to the doctors next week because I’m going to talk to her about my iron situation again and things I need to do to regain some weight and sleep better,” Zayn said.  
  
“Of course I will,” Liam replied and kissed his head.  
  
“Now that all of that is settled, let’s go to bed because I am fucking wiped and I have to be up at 8 a.m. tomorrow,” Zayn said and stood up to stretch. “I always sleep better with you here so at least I won’t have a restless sleep.”  
  
“Come on,” Liam said with a smile and they walked up to their room tiredly to get some well deserved sleep wrapped up in each other.

 

  
                                                                                                                                               **

  
  
Zayn’s phone buzzed with a message and he looked down at it to see that Liam had texted him that dinner was ready. Zayn stretched and got up from his armchair. He had been in the library they had in the house studying for the past three hours. He had his own study/office room upstairs but for some reason he preferred the warmth of the library and especially the rustic fireplace and the smell of books. He always studied better here.  
  
Zayn looked down at his clothes, boxers, hoodie, socks, and wondered if he should change but decided against it. He walked into the kitchen to a smell that made his stomach grumble and music playing at a low volume. Liam had already set their plates on the island where they preferred to eat rather than the much too big and formal dining room.  
  
“Chicken enchiladas!” Zayn said excitedly and hugged Liam from behind who was turning off the oven.  
  
“Your favourite,” Liam said and turned around to kiss him.  
  
“Thank you,” Zayn said and kissed his cheek before settling onto a bar stool and grabbing a fork to cut into his dinner.  
  
“How’d the video conference go?” Zayn asked Liam as he settled into his seat.  
  
“Good. Ameera said that everyone is on the same page and the contracts should be signed tomorrow,” Liam replied.  
  
“She’s good at this stuff. Probably better than you,” Zayn teased and Liam knocked his foot but couldn’t help smile. Three years back Ameera had first been promoted to the team managing the US side of clubs after doing her MBA. She had been too qualified and intelligent to stay an assistant and Liam had immediately given her a much higher job (much to the disgruntle of many employees). A year back she had officially been promoted to head of the international side of hotel and club management which had been a shock to many but no one was more deserving or hard working as her. She travelled constantly to oversee things which meant Liam could travel less but her and Niall enjoyed it immensely.  
  
“She is amazing. Best person I could ever ask for to be honest. Although I do miss her as an assistant sometimes. She ran everything so smoothly and Isabelle is nowhere near Ameera’s level. She’s good, but Meemz was something else,” Liam said.  
  
“Oh Isabelle is fine. Amazing at her job and a sweetheart. It’s your new receptionist Keira I’m not so sure about with her heart eyes,” Zayn scoffed. “Does she not see your wedding ring?”  
  
“Relax baby. I think she’s a little scared of you. I overheard her telling Farrah from marketing that my ‘frightening little thing of a husband’ as she put it, was someone to watch out for,” Liam said with a laugh.  
  
“One, I am not frightening. I’ve been told that I look very approachable and nice. Two, that’s suspicious behavior. Why would they want to steer clear of me unless if they were planning on doing something that could upset me. Like hitting on my husband,” Zayn said and pointed his fork at Liam with narrowed eyes.  
  
“I don’t know and I don’t care,” Liam said with a chuckle. “I could care less about gossiping receptionists.”  
  
“Rosie and Lesley were so professional. Gone are those days,” Zayn said mournfully.  
  
“Well they’ve moved on to better things. Rosie’s in nursing school you know. And Lesley is working in our human resources department. This is a temp job so stop worrying about these random people calling you frightening when they’ll be gone in a few months. Everyone in my entire company adores the fuck out of you. They probably like you more than me you little charmer,” Liam said and kissed his forehead.  
  
“I guess,” Zayn mumbled. Liam grinned at him and reached over to fork up a piece of his chicken and eat it.  
  
“Ah! Hands away from my chicken, villain. I will destroy you,” Zayn said and batted Liam’s fork away with his own.  
  
“Chicken? Villain? I didn’t know that superheroes rhymed?” Liam teased as they engaged in a fork war.  
  
“Well this superhero does. He’s a doctor by day and saves people’s lives with medicine. And by night he defeats villains trying to commit crimes. He has super strength, night vision and he rhymes. For fun,” Zayn said and grinned.  
  
“Is that all part of his ruse to confuse the villains? Otherwise it seems random,” Liam said with a teasing grin.  
  
“I will have you know Mr. Payne, that speaking in rhymes does throw the villains off, giving him ample time to escape,” Zayn said and defeated Liam in the fork war. “Aha!”  
  
“Fork wars are so amateur,” Liam said and ate some more of Zayn’s chicken leaving the latter with a hanging mouth.  
  
“Oh amateur huh? You want the real deal? I’ll bring out the light sabers and we can duel this out in the backyard. I’ll beat your ass.” Zayn smirked and stood up on the bottom rung of his stool to tower over Liam. He toppled over and Liam caught him quickly.  
  
“I doubt that Captain Rhyme.” Liam laughed and kissed his cheek.  
  
“You’re just scared. Eat your dinner and we’ll sort this out,” Zayn said and fixed his stool to hop back on it. Liam grinned and leaned over to kiss him which Zayn let him do for a second before he pushed Liam’s face away.

 

  
  
                                                                                                                                                  **

**A Few Months Later**

  
“Passionate from miles away. Passive with the things you say.”  
  
Zayn ran the paint brush down the wall and watched the blue drip down. He smiled and grabbed the bucket of red and dipped the brush in before flicking it at the wall and watching the specks splatter everywhere. He adjusted the bandana on his head as he danced around to the song.

 

“Old school Drake kinda mood today?” Liam asked as he walked into the room and tossed Zayn a bottle of water.

 

“I listened to this on repeat when you were gone to Milan and we had that argument over the phone,” Zayn said with a grin and Liam snorted.

 

“Well the make-up sex when I got back was fucking incredible,” Liam said as he came over to hug Zayn from behind. Zayn laughed and nudged Liam in the stomach with his elbow.

 

“So what exactly is the aesthetic if I may ask?” Liam asked as he looked at the mess of paint on the wall. They were in Zayn’s study/art room upstairs and the entire room was lined with plastic sheets because Zayn had wanted to repaint the white walls. After moving into the house almost a year back, he had decorated it minimally because school demanded all his attention but now he was on summer break and he had time to really do all his house projects. One was to paint his office how he wanted, another to re-decorate their bedroom and then to start his own personal garden out back.

 

“The aesthetic is simply colorful. Life is colorful, so many different colors blending and mixing together and creating more shades, some bland, some pretty, but we can’t change them because it’s life,” Zayn said and moved forward to pick up the yellow.

 

“Are you sure that’s the case and you’re actually not just uninspired?” Liam said with a smirk.

 

“Yes asshole,” Zayn said and flicked some yellow paint at Liam and it landed on his t-shirt.

 

“This shirt is $200,” Liam said with a shocked face.

 

“Well maybe you should take my advice and spend less on clothes,” Zayn laughed although he started to back away as Liam moved towards him. “You know, budget better. Learn from your husband.”

 

“The same husband who spent $300 on pet toys this month?” Liam asked.

 

“Yes, now see that’s necessities. It was for the babies. You should admit that I handle my finances and our joint finances better,” Zayn said with a grin.

 

“Oh I see how it is. So we shouldn’t talk about last year’s incident with the tuition money?” Liam asked as he calmly picked up a can of paint.

 

“That was because the table was on sale Liam! And you said you didn’t care,” Zayn said and hid behind the desk.

 

“I don’t care. Spend all the money you want freely. I give it to you for a reason. I thought we were just listing facts on unnecessary spending,” Liam said with a smile and dipped his hand into the paint.

 

“Don’t do it!” Zayn shrieked and darted across the room as Liam ran to him. He didn’t make it far because Liam caught him and they fell to the floor as Liam ran paint covered fingers across his cheek.

 

“Yellow is so your colour,” Liam laughed and ran it down across his neck.

 

“I will kill you babe. I will literally kill you,” Zayn panted and tried to push Liam off. The paint was cold on his skin and he could feel it dripping down his shirt. He snuck a hand to the side and grabbed a tray of red paint and dunked his hand in and slapped the hand on Liam’s bicep.

 

“Hey!” Liam shouted.

 

Zayn started to cackle and sang in a teasing tone, “hey now, hey now! This is what dreams are made of!”

 

“What is that?” Liam stared at him in confusion.

 

“It’s Hilary Duff you uncultured Neanderthal!” Zayn yelled and tried to roll away. But Liam was faster and he grabbed the purple paint and poured half of it on Zayn’s shirt.

 

“Li!” Zayn screamed and struggled to get away but Liam had him pinned and then he dipped his finger in the purple paint and drew a smiley face on Zayn’s arm.

 

“It’s a cute look,” Liam said with a grin. Zayn tried to push him off and they ended up wrestling and paint-fighting for a bit.

 

“Ow!” Zayn shouted when his back hit a metal roller.

 

“You okay angel?” Liam moved back and ran a hand down his side in concern.

 

“No. I’m hurt,” Zayn said with a pout.

 

“Where?” Liam asked.

 

“Here,” Zayn said and touched his side. Liam rubbed it gently and leaned down to kiss it,

 

“I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to hurt you. Better now?” Liam asked.

 

“You didn’t hurt me. It was the roller. Although it hurts here too,” Zayn said and tapped his shoulder with a smile. When Liam leaned down and kissed it, Zayn grinned. “And here,” Zayn said and tapped his cheek.

 

Liam caught on and smiled before kissing his cheek. “Maybe here too,” Zayn said and touched his lips. Liam kissed him and Zayn smiled while pushing his body up.

 

“Anywhere else?” Liam asked as he pecked his chin.

 

“Maybe here,” Zayn said and ran his hand down to touch his crotch. Liam laughed and kissed him again before his hand started drifting down Zayn’s body.

 

 

**

 

 

Liam swam a few laps around the pool and felt his body cool down in relief. The summer had been agonizingly hot and their pool was like a place of haven sometimes. He stopped at the edge and grabbed his ice water for a sip as he looked over at Zayn. They had come out here after washing the paint off their bodies. Zayn lay in a pool chair with his t-shirt tied above his stomach and his shorts rolled up high on his thighs in an effort to cool himself. He had his sunglasses on and was reading a book. Liam jumped out of the pool and shook some water off before dabbing himself off with a towel.

 

He then fell onto the same chair as Zayn and placed his head on Zayn’s stomach and closed his eyes. Zayn’s hand drifted down and stroked through his wet hair. Liam hummed in contentment and kissed Zayn’s bare stomach.

 

“Meemz was saying we can’t just be selfish and fly off to celebrate our first wedding anniversary by ourselves and we should throw a big party,” Zayn said.

 

“She’s still annoyed by the fact that I wouldn’t throw the party in Vegas,” Liam chuckled.

 

“Well a party at the house would be nice. We can have the party here on the 10th and then fly out on the 11th so we’re actually in Morocco on the 12th and have that time to ourselves,” Zayn said. “What do you think?”

 

“Sounds fine. I’ll talk to Isabelle so we can start planning the party,” Liam yawned.

 

“I already texted her and she’ll be over tomorrow. We can talk details. I don’t think we need a party planner. Just something nice and simple with friends and family,” Zayn said.

 

“Sounds fine,” Liam replied.

 

“Isn’t Niall planning on proposing when he and Meemz go to Iceland that same week we’ll be gone to Morocco?” Zayn asked.

 

“Yeah,” Liam replied with a grin. “That’s what has Ameera more annoyed. Because she knows me and Niall are keeping a secret from here and she can’t figure it out.”

 

“She probably has a strong feeling anyways. She’s way too intuitive,” Zayn said with a smile. “I’m so happy for them.”

 

“I know. Ni hasn’t even proposed yet and already asked me to be the best man which was obvious but then he got so into it he was choosing between venues,” Liam snickered.

 

“Niall,” Zayn said and laughed. “He told me he keeps the ring in his dad’s safe so Ameera can’t find it.”

 

“I’m happy for those idiots. Took them forever. Now I can help my best friends plan their wedding,” Liam said.

 

“Lou and Haz haven’t even decided on who wants to be the one who proposes to the other so they said they’re going to come up with a mutually good time to get married and get engaged,” Zayn said with a laugh. “But Lou already told me he’ll surprise Harry with a proposal ‘cus Harry really is a sucker for romantic gestures.”

 

Zayn knew for a fact that Louis planned on proposing to Harry by the end of the year, most likely over the holidays. Both their families were going on a joint Christmas trip to England where Louis’ grandparents were and Louis would do it there. Zayn was ecstatic for them. All their friends were finding happiness in their careers and love lives and his heart warmed when he thought of it. Harry and Louis’ little vegan coffee shop was doing so well and they had always wanted to settle down when it was secure and set up so now seemed like a good time for them.

 

“Harry will lose his mind,” Liam said. “Speaking of, won’t they be here in an hour?”

 

“Yeah. We should get the barbecue out,” Zayn said and yawned. “Meemz said her and Niall will be late. Tom and Jane shouldn’t be late.”

 

“Miguel and Zach might be late too,” Liam said and ran his hand up and down Zayn’s thigh.

 

“You’ve gotten me all wet jaan,” Zayn murmured but he slipped down the chair to bury his face in Liam’s chest.

 

“Don’t fall asleep baby. We’re meant to be hosting dinner in an hour,” Liam said and stroked Zayn’s hair.

 

“A cat-nap won’t kill anyone,” Zayn mumbled and rubbed his face in the soft chest hairs on Liam’s body. Liam just laughed fondly and held him close.

 

 

**

 

 

**Two Years Later**

“See, it doesn’t hurt anymore now does it?”

 

“No. It’s better.”

 

Zayn smiled and adjusted the leg of the teary-eyed little girl as he moved back. He adjusted his stethoscope around his neck and made a few notes on his clipboard. “Now I won’t be here for the rest of the night but my very good friend Dr. Ru will be here and she’ll look after you. Okay sweetie?”

 

“Say thank you to Dr. Malik,” the little girl, Amber’s, mom said.

 

“Thank you, Dr. Malik,” Amber said shyly.

 

“You’re welcome,” Zayn said and smiled and turned to the mother. “Dr. Olson will be here to prescribe some medications but she’ll be fine. And the caste should come off in a few weeks.”

 

“Thank you so much,” she said and leaned over to stroke her daughter’s hair.

 

Zayn nodded at her with a smile and asked Amber for a high-five which she gave before he hurried off. It was getting late and he had already been here two hours past his shift. People always said life as a resident doctor was completely insane, but he never realized just how insane until he landed here. He was in his second year as a resident and it never got easier. But one more year and he’d be done. But despite all the sleepless nights and ridiculously long hours at the hospital, he loved what he did and he would never give it up. As a teenager, he had despised hospitals after an unfortunate incident but it had never deterred him from wanting to become a doctor. And now, this was his second home.

 

Zayn went to the locker rooms and tiredly acknowledged his fellow residents before heading over to his locker. He was pulling out his bag and jacket when someone knocked into the locker next to him. He looked over and saw that it was Shalini and smiled. It was amazing how far they’d come together. NYU, Columbia medical school, and now residents in the same hospital. It was a little outside the city and closer to home which was why Zayn had chosen it. But Shalini had moved outside the city too with her fiancé and ended up applying along with Zayn.

 

“I wanted to catch you before you left and say happy birthday,” Shalini said and pulled him into a hug.

 

“It’s not midnight just yet Shaloo,” Zayn said and squeezed her back.

 

“Yes but this is my only chance. I won’t see you tomorrow. I’m in surgery with Dr. Sharma and I know it’s your off day,” Shalini said. “You better save me some cake and we’re gonna go out for dinner the day after and have our own celebration. My baby is old as fuck.”

 

“27 is not that old,” Zayn said although he had been panicking all day as it had struck him that he was officially in his late 20s.

 

“If that’s what you want to believe,” Shalini said with a grin.

 

“Well as much as I love chats in the locker room, I’m desperate to go home, shower, and eat some cold pizza with my husband. So I’ll see you,” Zayn said and kissed her cheek before he walked out the room.

“Goodnight,” Zayn called out as he walked past the nurses’ station.

 

“Happy birthday Zaynie! Your birthday present is already outside,” Paula, one of the older and lovely nurses, yelled and laughed.

 

“What?” Zayn asked suspiciously.

 

“A tall, devastatingly handsome present,” Paula chuckled. “Tara here actually said ‘humna-humna’ when he came in asking for you.” Tara was shaking her head although she had a little smirk on her face.

 

Zayn rolled his eyes when he realized what they were talking about and he turned around with a grin. “Good night!” Zayn walked out the main doors of the hospital and saw a black car parked on the curb. Someone was leaning against the door, their face illuminated by the light of their phone. Zayn smiled as he watched the man rub a hand along his beard.

 

“Hi tall and devastatingly handsome,” Zayn said with a laugh as he walked over to the car.

 

Liam looked up and grinned in confusion. “Is that some strange new nickname?”

 

“Paula,” Zayn snorted and leaned up to kiss Liam as he encircled his arms around Zayn’s waist.

 

“Last week I was ‘fine wine’,” Liam chuckled.

“’Cus you just keep aging like fine wine you sexy bastard,” Zayn murmured and ran his hands along Liam’s face before kissing him.

 

“Me? Darling the way your face keeps getting more and more ridiculously beautiful as the years pass should be illegal. You’re unreal.” Liam pushed a hand through Zayn’s long hair which touched the tops of his shoulders and smiled. Zayn grinned and pecked Liam once more before getting into the car.

 

“I want to sleep for ten years,” Zayn said as they pulled onto the road. “And eat. And shower. God, today was long.”

 

“Your birthday is in fifteen minutes. You can’t sleep just yet,” Liam objected.  

 

“Sorry. I really don’t care about my birthday right now. I just need food and sleep,” Zayn groaned. Liam reached over and rubbed his leg soothingly before taking his hand and squeezing it.

 

“Did you scrub into surgery today?” Liam asked.

 

“Yeah. Dr. Lee asked me to scrub in on a little boy’s appendix surgery. But he was really impressed with me,” Zayn murmured. “Right before I finished today a little girl with a broken leg came in. She was just the sweetest thing.”

 

Zayn’s heart lurched because kids had been something Liam and he had talked about over the years and decided to put off until Zayn was done with residency and was finally practising. There had been a few disagreements over when exactly and how they would do it but recently they had reached a neutral ground where they would rather not decide about that stuff until the time was right and Zayn had at least finished residency. But sometimes when he saw the little kids around him at the hospital, or how Ameera was pregnant, his heart ached. He wanted to start a family. But his brain told him he should be settled into his career first and he knew it was the right thing. He was so, so close to the goals he had dreamed about. He was officially a doctor and soon he could be practising on his own. But he saw how sweet Liam was around Ameera’s pregnancy, how amazing he was with Ruth’s son who was a year old, and Zayn knew Liam wanted it too but he wanted Zayn to accomplish all his goals first. But sometimes it seemed like those goals were taking forever.

 

“I know baby,” Liam murmured and squeezed his hand tighter. Zayn looked over at him and Liam was looking at him softly as if he had read Zayn’s mind. Zayn sighed and leaned his head on Liam’s shoulder as the other man drove them home.

 

Zayn was so tired when they pulled past the gates and onto their long driveway, that it took him a few moments to notice all the other cars. “Jaan… what?”

“Don’t kill me,” Liam said with a small smile. “But it’s a little thing for your birthday.”

 

“Babe,” Zayn groaned and went over to Liam to hug him.

 

“I love you angel,” Liam murmured and kissed his temple. “And happy birthday.” Liam squeezed him tighter and Zayn grinned.

 

“Thank you, husband,” Zayn said and moved back to kiss Liam deeply. Liam smiled and cupped his face to kiss him all over it 27 times and Zayn couldn’t help but start laughing. It was these little things, even after nine years with Liam, that made him realize why and how much he loved the other man.

 

“Before we go in. Come here.” Liam took Zayn’s hand and they walked over to the garage. It had three main automatic doors in it but the inside of the garage was large enough for twenty cars since Liam amassed a collection of cars. Zayn had gotten his license and bought himself a small car a year ago and he had been massively proud of it since it was bought with his hard-earned money. Then two weeks ago he had crashed it, and although he had come out of it okay, he had been a little shaken up and sad about his car. Liam had told him to take any of his cars, which he said belonged to the both of them, but Zayn was still mourning his own car.

 

“I know you miss Rosa, but I thought you deserved to get a new car. You work so hard and I’m so damn proud of you my love. So happy birthday.” Liam kissed him and punched in the code for the garage door. Zayn was staring at him with his brows raised and when the lights automatically turned on he saw a shiny new black Audi stood in the middle with a red bow on it.

 

“Jaan,” Zayn laughed and slapped Liam’s arm before he went forward and touched the door tentatively. “You’re the definition of excessive. Thank you.”

 

“She’s no Rosa but I hope you like driving her,” Liam said and hugged him from behind.

 

“Mmm. Wanna christen it?” Zayn teased and pushed back into Liam’s body.

 

“Later,” Liam chuckled and squeezed his sides. “Our families will be getting impatient inside.”

 

“Boo,” Zayn pouted at Liam and kissed him quickly before they made their way into the house from the garage. He was still in his scrubs and he desperately wanted to shower but as soon as they walked into the living room, everyone was yelling ‘happy birthday’ at him and engulfing him with hugs.

 

“God damn you’re tall now,” Zayn laughed as he hugged Safaa. She was 16 years old now and had grown into a beautiful and smart young woman. Zayn felt nostalgic for the times when Safaa’s favourite thing was to curl in bed with him to hear stories or bake with him, and now she was practically an adult.

 

“Almost tall as you Bhaiya,” she teased and kissed his cheek. Zayn grinned and moved on to hug his parents.

 

“You look exhausted jaan,” Tricia said and rubbed his arm. “Have you not been sleeping?”

 

“Maa, I’m a resident. Sleep is a foreign concept,” Zayn reminded her and hugged Yaser who was shaking his head fondly at Tricia.

 

“Happy birthday beta,” Yaser said and kissed his head. “We’re so proud of you and the man you’ve become. Allah knows all your hard work is paying off.”

 

“Thank you, Baba,” Zayn smiled gratefully and kissed his dad’s cheek before moving over to hug Geoff and Karen.

 

“Are you hungry darling? We’ve got a whole dinner for you,” Karen said.

 

“Starving,” Zayn groaned as his stomach rumbled. Karen laughed and ushered him into the dining room where everyone had already started migrating.

 

“So, how’s Haadi?” Zayn asked Waliyha with a grin as he settled beside her. Her cheeks pinked a little but she smiled and rolled her eyes.

 

“He’s just fine,” Waliyha said. “We’ve been looking at apartments.”

 

“That’s awesome. Found one yet?” Zayn asked.

 

“Not yet. Hopefully though,” Waliyha said.

 

“Let us know if you need help. Remember our old penthouse? The apartment Liam had bought for Mary and Paddy is still there in that building too. They’ve retired and moved to a house they bought on Long Island but Liam still owns the apartment. If you can’t find a place you can rent that. Liam would be cool with it,” Zayn suggested.

 

“Thanks Zee but Haadi wants something in the Village because it’s closer to work. We’ll find one,” Waliyha answered.

 

“Alright everyone. Here’s to Zayn. Baby I love you and I’m so proud of how far you’ve come. This year with the residency showed how hard-working and committed you are and it’s gonna pay off. It already has. You’re Dr. Malik now and just look how far you’ve come. I know you’ll see nothing but success in your life. And I can’t wait to keep celebrating every single one of your birthdays with you. I love you,” Liam smiled at him over his glass of wine. Zayn grinned back at him and blew a kiss.

 

“Dr. Malik- _Payne_ … but you’re good jaan,” Zayn said with a grin and everyone laughed.

 

“Happy birthday Dr. Malik-Payne,” Liam chuckled and came around the table to cup his face and kiss him.

 

 

**

 

 

“Liam Payne’s office can you hold please? Thank you. Liam Payne’s office can you hold please? Thank you.”

 

Zayn walked into the reception area of Liam’s office and saw the receptionists busy taking calls. He walked over to them and one of them, Huma, smiled at him and waved as she talked on the phone.

 

“Hi Zayn,” Daniel, the other receptionist, said.

 

“Hey. Liam in?” Zayn asked as he adjusted the take-out food bag in his hand.

 

“Mr. Payne should be in. He just got back from a meeting,” Daniel replied.

 

“Can I?” Zayn pointed at his phone and smiled. Daniel nodded with a smile and turned it around so Zayn could grab it. He hit the number 1 which was for Liam’s office.

 

“Yes?” Liam answered from the other end.

 

“Good afternoon Mr. Payne. There’s a delivery for you outside,” Zayn said in a low voice.

 

There was a pause and then Zayn heard a soft chuckle. “Is this delivery a handsome dark-haired man?”

 

“Possibly. You need to sign for it,” Zayn grinned and he saw Huma and Daniel smiling although they were being polite and trying to pay attention to their computers.

 

“Come in,” Liam laughed from the other end. Zayn thanked Daniel with a smile and went over to Liam’s office. He pushed inside and Liam looked up at him and grinned as he walked in.

 

“Damn I thought my special delivery would be wearing less clothes,” Liam joked and got up from his desk as Zayn reached him. “Hi baby.”

 

“Hi,” Zayn replied with a smile and leaned up for a kiss. “I could be wearing less clothes in a few minutes but I’m starving. That shift lasted forever.”

 

“You’ve been awake for 24 hours love. Go home and sleep,” Liam said and kissed his head as they settled onto the sofas.

 

“I will. I wanted to surprise you though. These days it seems like we only see each other at home when we get off our respective shifts and after a bite or some TV time we just fall asleep,” Zayn sighed.

 

“I know. It sucks and I hate how we pretty much see each other in passing but it won’t be forever,” Liam replied.

 

“One more year,” Zayn groaned and dropped his head back. “I’m glad I’m not doing a fellowship right away.”

 

“How about this. You have the weekend off so we can go to Vermont and get some time away,” Liam offered.

 

“I like the sound of that,” Zayn said and leaned forward to kiss Liam. “Now eat.” He unpackaged their food and handed Liam the sweet and sour chicken he loved and kissed him once more before digging into his noodles.

 

 

**

 

 

**One Year Later**

“Tea?”

 

Liam looked up from his laptop and saw Zayn standing in the doorway holding two mugs. Liam threw his glasses off and nodded as Zayn came forward. Zayn slipped into his lap and gave him a bright grin as he handed Liam his mug. Liam smiled and kissed his head as he accepted it with a thank you. He had been in his home office working for a few hours and he felt worn out. Plans for a second casino were even harder than the first he had made a decade ago. But it would be bigger and better and it was in LA on top of that.

 

“How’s it going?” Zayn asked and peered at Liam’s laptop. “That is one angry email jaan.”

 

“Don’t even ask,” Liam groaned. “There’s a dispute between the architects and contractors.”

 

“Grown ass business men really do act like toddlers,” Zayn said as he scrolled through the emails and read them.

 

“I know,” Liam sighed and rubbed Zayn’s sides as he leaned his head back tiredly.

 

“Did you want dinner?” Zayn asked and turned around to stroke his jaw.

 

“In a bit,” Liam hummed and hugged Zayn close and dropped his head onto his shoulder. He could do with a long sleep. These days he seemed to be the one with more and more nights away from home and Zayn’s schedule had been swapped. Now done with residency he was officially working just three days a week in a clinic. Zayn wanted to set up his own pediatric clinic and Liam was going to help him do it but it would take a few years.

 

“Stop stressing all the time jaan. You’re only in your 30s but you’ll give yourself a heart attack,” Zayn said and stroked his hair.

 

“Sounds fun,” Liam muttered.

 

“Sorry but you can’t die on me. Come here.” Zayn cupped Liam’s face and kissed him gently and slowly turned it deeper. As Liam felt himself unwinding from the kiss, Zayn started palming him over his sweats. Liam groaned and Zayn slipped off his lap and went to his knees in front of him. He winked at Liam and tugged down his sweats.

 

“Baby,” Liam moaned as Zayn dropped his mouth to start kitten licking.

 

“Relax,” Zayn hummed. He moved his mouth expertly and within a few minutes Liam felt like he was about to come. But Zayn quickly squeezed him and stopped him.

 

“You’re killing me Zaynie,” Liam murmured and stroked his face.

 

“I know. But I want you to fuck me on the desk okay?” Zayn said and moved Liam’s laptop aside before he hopped on the desk. He beckoned Liam forward and pushed his own pants off.

 

“I had to throw out my last desk because we broke it,” Liam said with a laugh as he pulled out lube from his desk and stood up.

 

“Yet you keep lube here. You knew it would happen again babe.” Zayn chuckled as Liam tugged him towards the edge. Liam just replied with cold lubed fingers at Zayn’s entrance which made him gasp and grab the edges of the desk.

 

“I love you,” Liam said and kissed his knee.

 

“Me too jaan. Let’s get a move on yeah?” Zayn said and started stroking himself. Liam batted his hand away and gave him a look which made Zayn whine but his eyes darkened. Liam grinned and opened him up quickly because he was still painfully hard himself.

 

Soon he was fucking Zayn right over the desk and the latter was letting out the most amazing sighs and begging for more. They came almost at the same time and Liam cleaned them up with some tissues before collapsing on top of the desk with Zayn. Zayn curled up in his arms as he caught his breath.

 

“You know, if male pregnancy was possible, I would totally be knocked up right now with the way you fucked me,” Zayn slurred and giggled a little.

 

Liam grinned and ran a hand down Zayn’s stomach before kissing his cheek. “A baby with your eyes and smile could quite possibly be the best thing in this world.”

 

Zayn stilled and slowly turned around to look at Liam. “You really want a baby that looks like me?”

 

“Of course I do. I’ve always said that when we had kids I’d want a baby of our own that looked like you. Naturally we can’t have one that’s one half me and one half you, but a baby with your DNA running through it would be all I want. These beautiful eyes, this smile, your nature…” Liam said and kissed Zayn’s face gently.

 

“But I want a baby that has your ridiculously infectious smile, your eyes, your curly hair,” Zayn murmured and touched his face.

 

“We can have more than one kid love,” Liam said. Zayn sat up and grabbed Liam’s shirt to pull on his body. He smiled softly at Liam and took his hands.

 

“Are you… are you saying we should do surrogacy? And try for one each?” Zayn asked.

 

“We always said we’d wait until you were finally done with the stress of residency and you are now. You’re settled in a job and practising and in two years we’ll have your pediatric practice up and running. I’ve been thinking about it more and more and we’re probably ready,” Liam said.

 

“We are ready,” Zayn breathed and his cheeks were flushed. “Remember before when we discussed options and for surrogacy you said if we choose one of our samples we shouldn’t know whose we use from beforehand? We should still do that. I mean it will be obvious when the baby is born but it doesn’t matter anyways because they will be _our_ babies and we’re going to love them so fucking much.”

 

Zayn’s eyes were filling with tears and Liam tugged him closer to kiss his head. “We should keep the egg donor the same. That way how many ever kids we have, they’ll have the same DNA from one side,” Liam said.

 

“How many do you want at this point?” Zayn asked.

 

“Well remember how before I told you I always thought of having just one kid? But now I think two. Honestly wherever life takes us. Let’s obviously start with one,” Liam said with a laugh.

 

“I’ve always thought two as well. But you’re right. Whatever destiny has in store for us,,” Zayn replied and leaned forward to hug Liam. “So is this… is this happening? Are we going to officially try to have a baby?”

 

“Well we won’t be doing much ourselves but yes, let’s meet with a doctor and talk about egg donors and surrogacy,” Liam said with a smile.

 

“We’ll be parents,” Zayn said with a teary-smile.

 

“We’ll be amazing parents,” Liam replied and pulled Zayn into a kiss.

 

 

 

**

 

**Five Years Later**

The loud sound of beeping ripped rudely through the air. The alarm was the incessant kind that slowly brightened the room and raised the curtains forcing you to wake up. The room filled slowly with bright light as the black-out blinds raised.

 

“Babe turn it off.”

 

Zayn groaned and reached around blindly for his phone to turn the alarm off. He smacked it a few times before it closed and he sighed deeply. He threw his pillow off and slowly sat up. He rubbed a hand over his scratchy stubble and then through his hair. He looked to the side where his husband was still asleep and he adjusted the covers for him before he slipped out of bed. He took a quick shower because he knew he couldn’t take longer than ten minutes. He walked outside and dressed for work before leaving his bedroom. The sound of footsteps was coming from downstairs and it made him smile.

 

“When there’s this many fingers, that’s the number three.”

 

“Are we counting today?” Zayn said with a smile as he walked into the bright and sunny lounge and saw two tiny figures clad in onesie PJs on the carpet.

 

“Salam-kum Baba jaan!” The bright hazel eyed and raven-haired little boy in his batman PJs ran over to him and hugged his legs tightly.

 

“Walaikumsalam jaani,” Zayn said and ducked down to kiss his son’s messy hair. Then he turned and grinned at the chubby little girl in her green onesie hobbling over to him with her pacifier stuck between her lips.

 

“Is Zoheb Bhaiya teaching you to count bunny?” Zayn asked as he scooped up his daughter and kissed her head. She blinked her wide brown eyes at him and tucked her head into his neck.

 

“Laylee can say one and two Baba,” Zoheb explained excitedly.

 

“She has the best brother to teach her that’s why. You guys are becoming more and more sneaky, getting down here every morning without us knowing,” Zayn said with a smile as he walked towards the kitchen with Layla in his arms and Zoheb trailing behind them.

 

“We’re ninjas,” Zoheb giggled and climbed into a chair at the breakfast table as Zayn set Layla into her high chair.

 

“My little ninja.” Zayn grinned and squeezed Zoheb’s face and kissed his forehead as he giggled harder. Zayn turned on the coffee maker and then poured Layla and Zoheb some cereal and cut up a banana into little pieces for them. He was buttering a piece of toast for himself as Zoheb explained how Daisy, their newest puppy, had chewed up his stuffed toy, when Liam walked into the kitchen.

 

“Good morning,” Liam said as he walked in.

 

“Dada!” Zoheb beamed and tripped out of his chair to run over to Liam.

 

“You trip more than your father used to when I first met him,” Liam chuckled and scooped Zoheb up to kiss him. Zayn rolled his eyes fondly and smacked Liam lightly when he leaned over to kiss his cheek. Layla was already bouncing in her seat and squealing so Liam bent down and peppered her with kisses. Zayn smiled softly as he watched them. He knew their kids loved him too but the way they absolutely glowed when Liam was around made something inside Zayn warm up with fond. Since Zoheb had been born four years ago, he and Liam had formed a bond that even Zayn couldn’t get in the middle of. Zayn used to joke that Zoheb loved Liam more but it was just the case of a child getting attached to one more parent more. And he understood it when Layla was born a little over a year ago and she immediately attached to Zayn more.

 

The ironic thing was that when Zoheb had been conceived they had given both their samples and asked for it to be anonymous. But from Zoheb’s thickly lashed hazel eyes and raven hair It was obvious he carried Zayn’s DNA. So, when they decided to have Layla they knowingly used Liam’s sample since they had once discussed they wanted babies with both their blood. And Layla had been born with Liam’s soft brown curls and chocolate eyes and a smile insanely identical to the man’s. Their children had come from the same egg donor who had been a brown haired and brown eyed Iranian woman by her description. Their kids looked exactly like them but little things like the slightest dimples they both had showed their shared DNA from another side as well. It was something that amazed them both daily.

 

“Dada, Daisy ripped my purple teddy,” Zoheb told Liam with a pout.

 

“Did she? I’m sorry sweet-face. But she’s just a little baby like Layla is you know. Maybe we can fix him up,” Liam said as he poured himself some coffee.

 

Daisy was a tiny Pomeranian puppy they had gotten about a week ago. Ray and Arya were much older now and a few years ago they had adopted a big German shepherd and an orange coloured tabby cat from a shelter for homeless animals, and named them Jon and Sansa respectively in keeping with their Game of Thrones theme. But when Daisy came along, Zoheb had been given the opportunity to name her and he chose whatever he wanted. In total, they had five dogs and cats now and not to mention two rabbits in a specially made house in the garden and a horse and a pony which Liam had purchased. Some days Zayn felt like they had started a farm up here. But he loved his life and wouldn’t trade it for the world

 

“Give him to me when I get home from the clinic and I’ll stitch him up,” Zayn said as he picked up Layla to wash her face.

 

“Three today baby?” Liam asked him.

 

“Yes I’ll be back at three. Your meeting is at one right?” Zayn asked as he handed Layla to Liam.

 

“Yeah. I’ll drop the kids at your parents by noon,” Liam replied.

 

“Why do you call Baba ‘baby’?” Zoheb asked Liam with a curious look. “He’s a grown-up not a baby.”

 

Zayn paused and looked between Liam and Zoheb. Liam looked a little surprised and like he was holding back laughter. “Umm… it’s just a word people use for someone they love. It doesn’t mean that I’m calling Baba an actual baby,” Liam explained.

 

“It’s like when I call you, Layla or Dada my jaan,” Zayn added.

 

“Yeah. Or even when I call Baba ‘angel,’ it doesn’t mean he secretly has angel wings,” Liam chuckled. “I love him and he’s like an angel to me. You all are.”

 

“So I can call someone I love baby? I love you and Baba, can I call you baby?” Zoheb asked innocently.

 

“Uh, not exactly,” Zayn said and looked at Liam for support. “When grownups love each other they use baby sometimes but I’m your Baba so you’ll have to use Baba. And Dada is Dada.”

 

“That’s confusing,” Zoheb said and returned to his cereal.

 

“You’ll understand one day bub. Okay I’ll see you all later,” Zayn said and kissed Liam and then the kids cheeks.

 

“Khuda Hafiz Baba jaan,” Zoheb said and hugged him.

 

“ ‘fiz Baba!” Layla called out with a smile.

 

“Khuda Hafiz jaanis,” Zayn said and grabbed his phone and car keys to leave. His pediatric clinic was fifteen minutes from home which was incredibly convenient. He shared half his office space with Shalini who was a general physician and she had her clinic on one side and Zayn had his on the other side but they shared one main reception and waiting area. He loved it because he had one of his best friends working with him and most of their patients were cross-listed.

 

The day passed quickly and it was never hard when all your patients were children and Zayn had always loved children, which made being a pediatrician feel more rewarding. He had decided to wait a few years to do his fellowship for pediatric surgery because he wanted Layla to be in school first which would ease that stress. And right now he was extremely settled and happy in his life.

 

When he was done for the day, Zayn swung by his parents place to pick up the kids. When Zoheb had been one, Tricia and Yaser had moved from Brooklyn to a house Zayn had bought them which was just ten minutes from his and Liam’s house and in a nice neighbourhood. It had been helpful when they needed someone to watch the kids. Safaa was in college, Waliyha was married and working in Manhattan and his parents had no more obligations in Brooklyn considering they had retired. They still provided tutoring services to neighborhood kids for a few days but looked after Layla and Zoheb a few days in the week for a couple of hours. Zayn and Liam had insisted on hiring a nanny and giving them a break but Tricia and Yaser had firmly stated that a nanny was not needed when they, the grandparents, were free and happy to watch the kids any time.

 

“Layla is napping and Zoheb is watching some black and white Bollywood movie with your Baba,” Tricia said as she let him into the house.

 

“Oh man,” Zayn chuckled and walked into the living room.

 

“Why is the lady crying Abu jaan?” Zoheb asked Yaser with wide eyes.

 

“Because she’s all alone,” Yaser explained gently.

 

“Why?” Zoheb asked and sucked his thumb into his mouth.

 

“ZoZo,” Zayn said warningly as he walked into the room and signalled Zoheb to remove his thumb. It was a habit that the boy just couldn’t quit. When he was especially nervous or absorbed in something he unconsciously started sucking his thumb. While Liam was soft for Zoheb and told Zayn not to force him, Zayn knew that it wasn’t the best idea for Zoheb to still have this habit.

 

“Salam Baba jaan,” Zoheb said and climbed off the sofa to come to him. Zayn kissed his cheeks as Zoheb hugged him and then fell onto the sofa beside them.

 

“What are you and Abu jaan up to?” Zayn asked.

 

“I’m getting him into classics,” Yaser chuckled.

 

Zayn smiled and shook his head as Tricia walked into the room with a sleeping Layla bundled in her arms. Zayn took her and pressed a kiss to her sleep-warm head and smiled as Zoheb did the same. It was always so easy with them. They had decided to have the kids close in age so they could grow up together like friends, just like Zayn and Liam had with their siblings. Zoheb had never been jealous of Layla when she came home and had immediately adopted a sweet and protective relationship with her.

 

“We should get going,” Zayn yawned. “I’ve got to start the laundry and today’s my day to make dinner.”

 

“So soon?” Tricia asked.

 

“I know Maa but I’ll come over tomorrow. With Liam going out of town tomorrow I’ll be needing some extra help from you,” Zayn said.

 

“No worries jaan. You know we love to watch our little babies. And not just when you guys are at work. Feel free to leave them here for life,” Tricia said and tickled Zoheb which made him giggle.

 

“Thanks, Maa. I love you,” Zayn said and kissed her cheek. “Shoes Zo,” Zayn said to Zoheb.

 

“When we get home, can we go to the barn to see Carrots?” Zoheb asked.

 

“We can but shoes please and thank you,” Zayn reminded him as he stood up with Layla and picked up her baby bag. Zoheb kissed Yaser and Tricia’s cheeks and yelled ‘Khuda Hafiz’ before he went to put his shoes on.

 

“Khuda Hafiz Maa, Baba,” Zayn said and kissed their cheeks.

 

He went out to the car and buckled in both the kids before driving home. Layla awoke in the car and when they got home he let them off to play with their toys in their playroom while he did a load of laundry and started a salmon dish for himself and Liam and some Mac-n-Cheese for Zoheb and Layla. When Zoheb asked him if they could play outside, Zayn let them out and warned Zoheb to stay away from the pool. They played in the sprinklers for a bit and Zayn watched them from the kitchen window.

 

Dinner was made and he went out to water the garden plants which consisted of flowers and home grown vegetables. They had professionals come out and mow the grass of their massive grounds and take out weeds and plant flowers along the landscape, but there was a specific fenced off garden that Zayn had proudly planted himself years ago and he took care of it himself. The rose bushes and tomato plants were healthy and beautiful and he wouldn’t let anyone near them. Except Zoheb who had taken an interest and helped Zayn occasionally where he handled the plants more gently than anything he had ever touched.

 

Zayn saw Liam walk into the backyard and he held a finger to his lips as he pointed to the kids who were shrieking and running around in the sprinklers along with the dogs (the cats preferring to sun bathe). Liam snuck up behind them and scooped them both up at once which made them shriek.

 

“Dada!” They both yelled at once, Layla’s toothy lisp making it sound like ‘Jaja.’

 

“Are we being naughty and playing in the sprinklers?” Liam asked and threw one kid over each shoulder.

 

“Baba said fifteen minutes!” Zoheb squealed.

 

“Did he?” Liam said and grinned over at Zayn who threw away the hose and came closer to them.

 

“Yes but time’s up. We have to wash up for dinner now,” Zayn said and signalled Liam to put the kids down.

 

Liam set them down and slowly turned to Zayn with a smile. “Li, you better –”

 

Zayn screamed as Liam grabbed him and tugged him into the sprinklers. The cool water splashed him and Zayn coughed. Zoheb and Layla were clapping and Zayn couldn’t help but shake his head and grin. He shoved Liam away who pulled him back for a kiss.

 

“Your hair looks so sexy when its wet,” Liam murmured into his ear and Zayn laughed before shoving him away and picking Layla up.

 

“Zo let’s go. Bath and then dinner,” Zayn said.

 

“I’ll put them into the bath babe don’t worry. You can go shower if you want,” Liam said and took Layla from him.

 

“Thanks jaan. I’m gonna feed the other babies while you do that,” Zayn said and signalled to the pets. Liam kissed him and walked away with the kids. Zayn took his time to pour food for all the animals and feed the rabbits and horses as well before finally going in. He could hear loud squeals and laughter from the kids’ bathroom and he smiled before wandering off to his own shower.

 

**

 

 

“I’m only in Paris for two days because it’s mostly going to be London,” Liam said.

 

“You haven’t gone on any of your longer work trips in a while and Zoheb is not going to handle it well when it hits him,” Zayn sighed and dropped his head onto Liam’s shoulder. Liam hummed and scratched fingers along his scalp as they both watched Zoheb and Layla playing on the ground in front of them. Lilo and Stitch was on per their request but they were too indulged in making a fort of cushions.

 

“He’ll be fine,” Liam reassured Zayn.

 

“You think so?” Zayn snorted. “Right now he thinks you’re just going to work like you usually would. He doesn’t understand the whole not seeing Dada for a week.”

 

“He’s going to Anaya’s birthday party day after tomorrow. He’ll forget all about me,” Liam chuckled and kissed Zayn’s head. “I think I’m more worried about you missing me over the kids.”

 

Zayn smacked his chest weakly. “Li honestly… Zoheb is starting kindergarten in a few weeks. We have to take his attachment issues more seriously.”

 

“He’s just an innocent, sweet little boy who loves more than his heart can hold. It’s hardly attachment issues. Don’t go all pediatrics on him. He’ll be fine when he makes friends in school and forgets all about us,” Liam said gently when he saw the worry in Zayn’s eyes as he watched Zoheb patiently explain to Layla how to pull out a cushion.

 

“I guess…” Zayn sighed and sat up to put his empty mug to a side. “Okay little monkeys, let’s go. Bed time.”

 

“But Baba,” Zoheb began with his lower lip pushed out. “Me and Laylee aren’t finished yet.”

 

“Sweet-face you can finish the fort tomorrow and then you’ll even have time to bring snacks in and have a real sleepover. It’s time for bed,” Liam said.

 

“Okay,” Zoheb said with a sad sigh. “But- but will you come read to me?”

 

“I’ll be there in a few minutes. Go get into your pajamas,” Liam replied.

 

“Okay,” Zoheb was on his way out when he paused and turned around. “It’s dark.”

 

“Zo, just turn the light on,” Zayn said as he scooped Layla into his arms and kissed her head.

 

“It’s scary Baba,” Zoheb said and peered towards the stairs with wide eyes.

 

Liam grabbed the tablet which controlled light, heat, music, security cameras and so much more for the entire house. He tapped a button to turn on the staircase lights. “All good?”

 

“Thank you, Dada!” Zoheb shouted as he ran away. Liam smiled and shook his head at the boy. Since Zoheb had entered their lives four years ago there had never been a dull day with the boy. He had a soft heart and scared easy which made Liam all the more protective over him. And with his hazel eyes and sweet smile that 100% looked like the man he had fallen in love with, he felt even more love for his son. His entire family.

 

“I’m gonna put this little munchkin to bed. Can you make sure Zoheb is actually getting ready to sleep?” Zayn asked him as he balanced Layla in one arm and picked up toys with the other to toss into a big bucket.

 

“Going. Come here baby girl,” Liam said and took Layla from Zayn’s arms. She smiled tiredly at him and nestled into his chest. Liam felt his heart melt and he peppered her soft curls with kisses. “I’m going to miss you so much. Be good for Baba okay? Don’t get into any trouble with your brother which will have your Baba worried. I love you.” Liam pressed kisses all over her face which made her burst into tiny giggles.

 

“Dada?” She simply said and patted his face. Liam grinned and kissed her again before handing her back to Zayn who was smiling at them.

 

“As if these two won’t cause me any trouble,” Zayn laughed and walked off with Layla.

 

Liam smiled and went upstairs after them but went into Zoheb’s room. His room had a double bed in the center all fitted with Spiderman sheets. The walls were lined with shelves full of toys and picture books. A little section in the corner with art supplies and a little table because he couldn’t have Zayn’s blood and not be artistic. The entire wall behind the bed was painted black with stars and planets to look like a galaxy. And in the middle of it was Harry Potter flying a broom which was Zoheb’s biggest obsession. Zayn had done the entire mural himself and it was probably the best part of the house. There was a similar mural in Layla’s room but it had been done when she was a baby and was simply a meadow with woodland creatures in it. Zayn had again outdone himself with that.

 

Zoheb was putting his toys back onto his shelves, already in his pajamas when Liam walked in. Liam grinned at his cleanliness, his toys organized and neat. Liam sat onto the bed and waited patiently as Zoheb finished arranging his stuffed toys around the plastic table.

 

“Shouldn’t they be asleep? It’s much too late for a dinner party,” Liam said.

 

“This is how they sleep,” Zoheb said with a smile. He clutched one worn out yellow teddy which had been the first one they had gotten him when he was born. He was still attached to the poor thing and couldn’t sleep without it.

 

“Oh but Banana gets the special spot with you on the bed?” Liam asked and helped Zoheb onto the bed.

 

“He’s afraid of the dark. He told me so himself. He says he sees monsters,” Zoheb said.

 

Liam raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything. Zayn was sure that Banana was possessed by a demon after all the stories Zoheb told about the stuffed bear supposedly talking to him. Zayn had wanted to get it blessed from the local mosque he went to. But Liam had reassured him that Zoheb was probably just going through his phase of imaginary friends trapped in stuffed toys. As Liam tucked the comforter around him, Zoheb was about to suck his thumb but Liam gently pulled his hand down.

 

“No thumb sweet-face. We talked about it yeah?” Liam said softly and kissed his forehead.

 

“Okay,” Zoheb sighed. He reached under his pillow and pulled out the book they had started reading, Harry Potter and the Philosopher Stone. Zayn had started it randomly one night, not knowing if Zoheb would love it, but he had immediately fallen in love. Every night they read him a bit until he fell asleep entranced.

 

“Okay. Where were we?” Liam said and settled in beside him. At that moment Zayn walked in.

 

“Still up?” Zayn asked and sat down on Zoheb’s bed.

 

“Can’t sleep without Harry Potter, Baba!” Zoheb said with a bright smile.

 

“Of course not!” Zayn said with a grin and settled into the other side.

 

“Here babe. You’re much better at doing voices,” Liam said and handed the book over. Zayn accepted the book and cracked it open to start reading. They were a few pages in when Liam looked down and saw Zoheb looking a little distraught.

 

“What’s up buddy?” Liam asked and stroked his messy hair. Zayn paused and looked down at Zoheb too.

 

“If- if… if Baba and you both go to heaven like Harry’s mom and dad, will I have to live in Doniya Phupo’s closet?” Zoheb asked tearfully.

 

“What? Of course not meri jaan,” Zayn said and pulled Zoheb into his lap. Zoheb buried his face in Zayn’s chest and clutched fistfuls of his shirt in his little fists. Liam leaned over and kissed his head while rubbing his back.

 

“We’re not going anywhere Zo but even if something happened and we went to heaven, you would never live in Phupo’s closet you know she loves you so much,” Zayn murmured and kissed Zoheb’s head. Zoheb nodded without speaking and Zayn stroked his messy dark hair.

 

“But we’re not going to heaven any time soon sweetheart. Not until you’re a big boy yourself, an adult, with your own house so you can live wherever you want,” Liam said gently.

 

“If you go to heaven I want to come too. I don’t want to be alone. We can bring Laylee too,” Zoheb said innocently, not even aware of what going to heaven really meant.

 

“No one is going to heaven for a long, long time beta. We’re going to be here for a while,” Zayn said and moved Zoheb back. He kissed Zoheb’s head again and pulled him against his chest. “I think it’s time you sleep. Enough Harry Potter for today.”

 

Zoheb nodded and stayed in Zayn’s lap while he hummed softly and rocked him to sleep. Liam rubbed the boy’s back gently and watched his eyes flutter until he was completely asleep, but he was still clutching Liam’s hand. They tucked him into bed and then slipped back to their room. Liam checked the child monitors which had camera’s for both the kids’ rooms before he went to the bathroom. He washed up for bed and then Zayn did the same before they slipped into bed. Once they were under the covers Zayn turned over to rest his head on Liam’s chest.

 

“He has such deep thoughts at this age,” Zayn murmured.

 

“He’s an intelligent boy. Not even in kindergarten yet and already thinking beyond simple words and applying literature to real-life. Our boy is smart for his age,” Liam said and stroked Zayn’s hair gently.

 

“Hmm. I’m gonna miss you,” Zayn sighed. “The kids are gonna miss you. Hurry back.”

 

“I will baby. Can’t live a few days without seeing this beautiful face,” Liam said and stroked Zayn’s face and felt him smile. “Or Zoheb and Layla’s smiles.”

 

“If I wasn’t so exhausted I would have wanted a goodbye fuck since we’ll be apart for a week but I’ll just save my energy for your return,” Zayn chuckled.

 

“I can’t resist that kinda charm angel,” Liam laughed and rolled over to kiss Zayn. They kissed for a few minutes, just soft gentle pecks that turned a little more heated until Liam ran his hand down to cup Zayn over his sweats.

 

“Li,” Zayn groaned but pushed into his touch.

 

“I never said I was tired,” Liam said and pushed his hand past Zayn’s waistband to grip him tightly. Zayn kissed him to stifle his moan and Liam took advantage of it to lick inside his mouth filthily while pulling him quickly. Zayn came all over his hand and after catching his breath he tugged off his sweats to clean himself off and Liam’s hand. He tossed them to the ground then fell into Liam’s arms in the nude. He was about to reach for Liam but Liam stopped him.

 

“Go to sleep sweetheart. You’re exhausted,” Liam said. Zayn looked like he wanted to argue but his exhaustion probably won over. Zayn kissed Liam’s cheek and before Liam knew it, Zayn was drifting off to sleep in his arms. Liam held him tightly and let sleep take him over too.

 

 

**

 

 

“But we’re on the list now so hopefully we’ll hear back soon.”

 

Zayn pulled the roast chicken out of the oven and kicked it shut while smiling over at Harry. The curly haired man had probably not aged a day. His smile, dimples and luscious curls were all the same. Even his clothing. The only difference was the multitude of tattoos on his body which told stories of all the places he and Louis had travelled to over the years. Harry was holding Layla in his arms and bouncing her side to side, making her laugh brightly and yell for more.

 

“I’m so happy for you guys,” Zayn said and kissed Harry’s cheek as he passed him. Harry and Louis had decided early in the year to try for adoption but they had kept their hopes low in case it didn’t work out. The amazing thing was that they were looking for a child between the ages of 4-10 so that they could give a family and home to an older child who didn’t have one. Zayn prayed that everything worked out for them. He knew it would.

 

“I saw Doniya and Amir’s new house. It’s gorgeous,” Harry gushed.

 

“It is! Mina and Ali are a little grouchy with the move but they’ll adjust. Mina’s is in her senior year of high school anyways. God how time flies,” Zayn said with a sigh as he tossed the salad. “Haz can you put Layla down and help me set the table or ask Louis or Ameera to pop in?”

 

“I’ll do it,” Harry said and set Layla down so she could dawdle around the kitchen. Zayn pointed at the cupboard for the plates and glasses and Harry took out stacks to take over to the dining room and set it. Once Zayn had put dinner out they called everyone in. Harry and Louis had dropped by for dinner and Zayn had decided to call Niall and Ameera over too so they could all have some nice time together. Liam was away and he could use the company. Zoheb and Niall and Ameera’s son, Azaan, were playing with the dogs and Zayn called them over for dinner.

 

“By the way guys, the day after Liam returns, we’re hosting a barbecue party. It’s an end of summer kinda thing. We thought it’d be a nice since ZoZo is starting kindergarten in two weeks,” Zayn said and smiled down the table at Zoheb who blushed when everyone cooed and Niall gave him a high-five.

 

“My little man is all grown up!” Louis said and gave him a fist bump.

 

“Want me to bring over any salads or sides Zayn?” Ameera asked.

 

“Oh don’t worry about that. I’ve got it handled. Maa will be over early anyways and she’ll probably push me out the kitchen to make everything. And Li’s got the grill under control. Do you know if Miguel is back in town? I’ve tried calling him to invite him over,” Zayn said.

 

“No he’s still in Berlin but he’ll be back in two days,” Niall said.

 

“Great,” Zayn said and leaned over to feed Layla a spoonful of mashed potatoes. “Don’t be late Haz and Lou. You’re notorious for it these days.”

 

“Don’t worry Zay. I’ll sleep over the night before if you want,” Harry joked.

 

“Yay! Sleepover!” Zoheb bounced excitedly in his chair. Zayn shook his head in exasperation at Harry who started laughing.

 

“You know Zoheb. Me and Uncle Lou are your godfathers, yet you haven’t slept over at our house in a year,” Harry said.

 

“I thought Uncle Ni was my godfather?” Zoheb asked confusedly.

 

“Uncle Ni is too. And you have three godmothers, Auntie Ameera, Auntie Ruth and Phupo Waliyha,” Zayn said.

 

“Never seen a kid with these many godparents,” Niall chuckled.

 

“We’ve got lucky kids,” Zayn said with a smile. When Zoheb had been born, it had been extremely difficult to choose godparents since Zayn and Liam both loved their best friends and siblings too much to choose so they had ended up with six informal godparents. And when Layla came, they applied the same but added Safaa in too. He and Liam were Azaan’s godfathers, and Waliyha’s daughter Anaya’s godfathers too. It made him smile to think that all their kids were so loved.

 

 

**

 

Zayn was up late reading his book. His eyes were drooping and he was yawning but he was determined to finish the chapter since he never had a minute in the day to spare for things like reading. Who knew reading books for pleasure would become a luxury when you had kids and a full-time job. He was almost done when his door creaked open slowly. His first thought was to call a handyman to fix the annoying creak in it when he saw a small shadow in the doorway.

 

“Zoheb? Jaani, why are you out of bed so late?” Zayn asked with raised brows.

 

“I- I had a bad dream. I had a bad dream that Dada never came home ever. He got stuck in a big lake,” Zoheb said with a sniff as he slowly walked in.

 

“Meri jaan… come here,” Zayn said softly and pushed his comforter aside. Zoheb crawled onto the bed and fell into Zayn’s lap. Zayn tugged the comforter back up and hugged Zoheb close as he felt tears on his neck. Zayn kissed his head and rubbed his back. “Dada is coming home Zo. He’s not stuck anywhere. I talked to him a little while ago. I promise you he’s not in any lake and he’s definitely coming home.”

 

“I asked Allah Miyan to watch over Dada,” Zoheb whispered. Zayn felt his chest warm at his son’s words and he kissed Zoheb all over his head.

 

“See? So then Dada is definitely safe. Allah Miyan is watching him,” Zayn said.

 

“Baba… when’s Dada coming home. I miss him,” Zoheb said softly.

 

“Dada will be home in three days and he has presents for you and Layla. He told me,” Zayn said.

 

“Can I talk to him?” Zoheb asked.

 

“Dada might still be sleeping love. It’s really early there. How about we go to sleep and call him tomorrow?” Zayn offered.

 

“Please,” Zoheb said, his lower lip trembling. Zayn sighed because who could say no to those big hazel eyes? Now Zayn knew what Liam meant about his own ‘big doe eyes.’ He picked up his phone and hit facetime call and waited.

 

“What’s up sexy?” Liam answered in a rough voice.

 

“PG babe. Zo is here,” Zayn quickly said with a chuckle. “Someone missed you and had a bad dream.”

 

“Hi my little sweet-face,” Liam said with a big grin as Zayn turned the phone to Zoheb who had tear tracks on his cheeks but he brightened visibly. Liam was lying in bed so Zayn knew he hadn’t gotten up for the day yet.

 

“Salam Dada. Are you in a lake?” Zoheb asked.

 

“No bud. I’m not,” Liam said with a confused laugh. “Why?”

 

“I had a bad dream you were stuck in a lake and not coming home,” Zoheb stuttered. One other thing Zoheb had visibly inherited from Zayn was a slight stutter. When the little boy was obviously distressed or nervous he stuttered. Zayn sometimes hated himself for passing on a trait he had grown up struggling with to his son. But he was already trying to help Zoheb and he hoped to God the boy never went through struggles in school because of it.

 

“I’m perfectly fine Zo. See, in a bed, in a room. Totally safe. I could really use some cuddles form you but I’m totally safe. And in three days I’ll be back. I promise,” Liam said.

 

“Okay. Try to make sure your plane flies away from the water. It’s not safe. I hate it,” Zoheb said with a pout.

 

“I promise sweet-face. Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” Liam asked.

 

“Oh. I- I’m going,” Zoheb said with a smile. “Love you.”

 

“Love you my little angel,” Liam said and smiled at him.

 

“You can sleep here,” Zayn said and tucked Zoheb in beside himself.

 

“Okay. Shabh-khair Baba, shabh-khair Dada,” Zoheb called out.

 

Zayn paused for a second and chuckled, wondering where Zoheb had leant such a big Urdu word. He spoke Urdu around the kids a lot, so much so that Liam had learnt a lot over the years too. But big words like this he had never used to his memory. “Where did you learn that?” Zayn asked with a laugh.

 

“Abu Jaan,” Zoheb said and yawned tiredly. “Baba can you blow the Dua on me again?”

 

“One second jaani,” Zayn said and turned back to the phone with a grin.

 

“It means goodnight,” Zayn told Liam. “He’s so intelligent.”

 

“That he is,” Liam replied with a chuckle. “Get some sleep baby. I love you.”

 

“Love you too jaan. Come home soon,” Zayn said and blew Liam a kiss before shutting the phone. He leaned over Zoheb and kissed his forehead before saying the few short prayers he always said over the kids before bed and blew the words over Zoheb just like his dad did to him when he was a kid. Zoheb nestled into him and they fell asleep.

 

 

**

 

 

“Do you know what this is Laylee? It’s a horse. It’s Carrots,” Zoheb explained with a grin.

 

“Car!” Layla shouted with a crayon clutched in her tiny fist. Zoheb nodded and pushed a paper close to her.

 

“How about you? What do you want to draw?” Zoheb asked her. She obviously couldn’t answer coherently but what made Zayn grin was how patiently and seriously Zoheb nodded along as Layla spoke gibberish and smacked a crayon on the paper.

 

Liam was coming home tonight but the kids had been buzzing on energy so Zayn had simmered them down with some paper and crayons while he took care of his own emails. They had already had dinner and the kids were close to their bed-time but of course they wouldn’t sleep without seeing their Dada. There was a beeping sound and both the kids paused. Zoheb with a massive grin on his face and Layla with an ‘O’ face and bright eyes.

 

“Dada!” Zoheb shouted.

 

“Dada!” Layla shrieked excitedly.

 

“Careful!” Zayn shouted as they both ran off towards the front door.

 

“It’s my babies!” Zayn heard Liam exclaim from the front foyer. The kids were screaming excitedly and not making much sense. Zayn walked into the foyer and saw Liam holding them both in his arms as he was kissing them all over.

 

“…and Daisy pooped on the carpet again!” Zoheb was rambling excitedly.

“Dada! Dada! Dada!” Layla shouted simultaneously. Zayn laughed as he noticed Liam trying to keep up with both of them as they tugged and pulled at him for attention.

 

“Guys! Off! Give Dada space he must be tired,” Zayn said with a clap of his hands.

 

Liam let them down with a chuckle and came forward to kiss Zayn. “Hi my love. Are they high on sugar?”

 

“It’s been withdrawal from you,” Zayn said with a shake of his head. “I’ll make you some tea. Zoheb can you please come clean up your crayons and then you can sit down and tell Dada everything you’ve been saving to tell him.”

 

“Okay. Dada can I show you my drawing?” Zoheb asked.

 

“Sure sweet-face. Go grab it,” Liam said as he picked Layla up and went towards the living room where the dogs were having their turn at going nuts over seeing Liam.

 

Zayn went into the kitchen to make tea and Zoheb hastily piled his crayons back into their big plastic box. He then grabbed his drawing and ran towards the living room. Zayn smiled and walked into the room with two mugs. Liam was sat on the sofa and tossing Layla up and catching her, much to her amused squeals. Zoheb was patiently waiting and smiling at them while he vibrated with excitement, practically bouncing on his feet. Zayn handed Liam a mug and nudged him to look over at Zoheb.

 

“What’s my favourite boy got to show me?” Liam asked and patted the spot beside himself.

 

“I drew me and you feeding Carrots because that’s what we like to do,” Zoheb said with pinked cheeks and a wide smile.

 

“Do you see that princess? Bhaiya drew Carrots and he did such a good job!” Liam gasped and pulled Zoheb into his lap too, along with Layla, and looked at the drawing. “My son is an artist.”

 

Zayn watched the three people he loved the most in this world with a soft smile. Liam looked over at him and winked when he caught his eye. Zayn grinned and smiled into his tea. He prayed every day that him and his little family stayed this happy forever. Zoheb launched into a series of stories and gave moments to Layla who said a few comprehensive words in a string of baby-talk and then Zoheb translated it for Liam which made Zayn chuckle. Layla had crawled over to Zayn’s arms to fall asleep a while ago but Zoheb was still clinging to Liam and struggling to keep his eyes open as they watched TV.

 

“Zo, I think it’s time for bed,” Liam said gently. “Let’s go.”

 

Zoheb just nodded and climbed off Liam’s lap to stand up. Zayn switched off the TV and stood up with Layla while Liam took Zoheb’s hand. They settled the kids into bed and Zayn said prayers over them both since they were already knocked out and there wouldn’t be story time. Then he went to his room and began making the bed as Liam went to shower. He was fluffing the comforter when Liam walked out in a towel and immediately came to hug him from behind.

 

“God I missed you,” Liam hummed.

 

“I should be low-key offended that you said Zoheb is your favourite boy, but then I remember that he’s our son and he’s my number one boy too. So it makes me a thousand times more happier,” Zayn said with a smile.

 

“Oh but baby don’t you know?” Liam said and collapsed on the bed while pulling Zayn down too. “You’ll always be my number one. You’re forever my favourite boy, bambi eyes.”

 

Zayn smiled and tickled his fingers across Liam’s beard. “You haven’t called me that in a while,” Zayn said softly.

 

“You’ll always be my bambi eyes. That hazel-eyed angel I fell in love with and continue to love more and more every day. The same man who gave me a family and two more little angels who I wouldn’t trade for the world. You’re my entire world,” Liam murmured and kissed him.

 

“Ten years married, fifteen years together, and you still get me blushing Liam Payne,” Zayn whispered and wrapped his arms around Liam.

 

“Well I love you,” Liam said. “Thank you for being you.”

 

“I love you too,” Zayn replied and pressed his lips to Liam’s again. “Sometimes I think I’m living some dream and I’ll wake up and be 18 again, never having met you and living a completely different life. But that would be a nightmare.”

 

“Totally,” Liam said, shaking his head at the mere idea. “You know you still are and always will be my baby, my heart, my love, my life, my angel, my –”

 

“My everything,” Zayn beat him to it like he always liked to do and grinned when Liam chuckled. “Do you fancy a little…” Zayn tugged Liam’s towel off and smiled mischievously.

 

“You sucking me off?” Liam asked with a smirk.

 

“Was gonna say I’ll ride you since you’re probably tired and I’ll do the work,” Zayn said with a shrug.

 

“That too,” Liam said and leaned forward to bite his lip. Zayn pushed at his chest to get him to roll over and then he straddled Liam with a grin. “You’re quite literally the sexiest human ever my love,” Liam said and ran a hand through his hair which he had kept at a long length for a few years now.

 

“Says you,” Zayn scoffed and trailed his hands down Liam’s eight pack which was frankly ridiculous. Liam got more and more handsome as the days went by. He had the slightest crow’s feet by his eyes and his beard was a little bit of salt and pepper now but it just turned Zayn on even more. Liam had really come into his prime and Zayn was a little embarrassed to admit that even as a father of two he sometimes found himself having filthy thoughts about his husband in the middle of the day. 

 

“Me too baby,” Liam said with a grin as if he had read Zayn’s mind. Zayn smacked him and started kissing his way down Liam’s chest, taking his time to lick every ab that he worshipped.

 

 

**

 

“Layla Raani, my little jaan!”  
  
Yaser scooped Layla into his arms as she ran towards him on her tiny feet squealing ‘Abu.’ Yaser peppered her face with kisses and Zayn smiled as he watched them. If it was up to his parents they would keep the kids 24/7. And nothing made him more happier than the fact that his kids were so close to their grand-parents.

 

The barbecue party was well under way and on one side all the kids at the party were playing in the pool or under the sprinklers in swimsuits. Some were on the trampoline or jungle-gym. And all the adults were scattered across the grounds. The smell of grilled burgers was in the air and Zayn looked over to where Liam was flipping them while Niall and Tom chatted with him. Zayn was setting up the snacks table when he saw Karen come in with a platter of sliced fruit in her hands.

 

“Mom, you didn’t have to bring anything!” Zayn chastised as he hugged her and kissed her cheek.

 

“Don’t be silly darling. This is nothing. Look at everything you and Tricia prepared. I couldn’t come empty-handed. Geoff is bringing in some cupcakes which the little ones will love,” Karen said.

 

“Thank you,” Zayn said and kissed her cheek before they made their way over to the sofas where Zayn’s parents were sat with Doniya and Ameera. Layla was entertaining everyone as she bounced along to the music. Zayn had put her into a little swimsuit in the morning, knowing that she and Zoheb might run in the sprinklers. Right now, she seemed more thrilled with everyone’s attention.

 

“How’s Zo dealing with going to school in a week?” Karen asked.

 

“It hasn’t registered yet. He was super excited buying a new backpack and pencils and a lunchbox, but the idea of being at school, away from us, for half a day has not hit him yet,” Zayn said. It was silly but he was insanely nervous on Zoheb’s behalf because the little boy was so shy and easily anxious that Zayn hoped he didn’t have trouble on his first day.

 

“He’ll be okay, Zayn. You’re freaking out more than him. Although being away from Liam will hit him harder than anything,” Doniya said with a laugh. Zayn smiled and looked over towards the grill where, unsurprisingly, Zoheb had joined Liam. Niall had taken over the grill and Liam had Zoheb in his arms who simply had his arms around Liam’s neck and his head resting on his shoulder while Liam slowly swayed around and talked to Tom.

 

“It’s sweet,” Ameera said with a smile. “I miss the days when Azaan was so clingy. He finds it embarrassing it now. Cherish it. Trust me.”

 

“He really missed Liam when he was gone,” Zayn said. Liam looked over and smiled when he caught his eye. Zayn smiled back and nodded his head at Zoheb as if to ask what was wrong but Liam just shrugged and kissed Zoheb’s head.

 

“Well Laylee, when Bhaiya is at school and Baba and Dada are both at work, it’ll just me, you and Abu jaan,” Tricia cooed and pulled Layla close to kiss her head.

 

“Let me get you guys all food. Maa, please make sure Layla does not wander near the pool,” Zayn said and kissed Layla who automatically raised her arms to be lifted but Zayn pointed her towards Tricia before leaving.

 

 

**

 

 

“Liam. Please… be careful.”

 

Liam adjusted Layla in his arms and gave Zayn a look with his brows raised. Zayn was standing by the edge of the pool and wringing his hands nervously as Liam stepped into the pool with Layla in his arms. It was the day after the party and Liam had decided to take Layla into the pool for her first time. They had tried with Zoheb when he was younger but he had been terrified to death so they never tried again. Right now he had said he was ready to try again when Liam had suggested taking Layla in.

 

“Zayn relax. You should get in too,” Liam suggested. Zayn had learnt swimming over the years and wasn’t terrified of water anymore, but he preferred dry land.

 

“I’m okay,” Zayn sighed and knelt on the edge of the pool with a panicked look as he watched Layla and Liam.

 

“You having fun baby girl?” Liam asked Layla with a grin. She looked absolutely awed. Liam had her out of the water for now but she was looking down at where Liam treaded the water slowly and she looked excited.

 

“Dada wa’?” She asked, pointing at the water.

 

“Yes my love. Water,” Liam said. “Does Laylee want to swim too?” Liam asked and she nodded. Liam smiled and he dipped her halfway into the water while keeping an arm around her to support her.

 

“Kick princess,” Liam said. She understood what kick was from the times she and Zoheb kicked around a ball, and she kicked her legs while staring down at the water in awe. Her chubby little legs were kicking in random directions and when the cold water went everywhere she squealed happily.

 

“Swim! Swim!” Layla screamed happily.

 

“She loves it,” Liam said and looked over at Zayn who looked close to tears but was smiling. “You okay baby?”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine. They just grow up too quickly,” Zayn laughed. Zoheb came out then in his swim trunks and floats on his upper arms. He looked incredibly nervous as he edged closer and stopped beside Zayn.

 

“Zo! Swim!” Layla yelled and kicked happily.

 

“You’re so good Laylee,” Zoheb said with a smile but he clutched on to Zayn.

 

“Want to come in Zo?” Liam asked and swam closer with Layla in his arms.

 

“Umm…” Zoheb stared at them anxiously and chewed on his thumb. “I don’t know.”

 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to jaani. But it might be fun. Look how much fun Layla is having,” Zayn said and kissed his cheek.

 

“Can- can I watch for a bit?” Zoheb asked in a low voice.

 

“Of course, sweet-face,” Liam said and smiled at him. “Take all the time you need. If you don’t want to do it today, that’s okay.”

 

Zayn had tugged Zoheb into his lap and kissed his head. They sat by the pool, their feet dangling in as Liam slowly moved around the pool with Layla and let her kick her legs which she did not seem to get tired of. Zoheb seemed to look more and more sadder as the time went on.

 

“You ready to come in Zo?” Liam asked.

 

“I don’t want to. What if I can’t do it and I get stuck at the bottom? I don’t want to,” Zoheb said, close to tears, and buried his face in Zayn’s chest.

 

“Baby that’s okay,” Zayn reassured him. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. No one can make you do something you’re not ready to do okay? How about we go in and get some popsicles?”

 

Zoheb just nodded and Zayn helped him up before taking his hand to walk inside. Liam swam around with Layla a little more who had never looked this happier. Her wide eyes were sparkling and her dimple deepened whenever she laughed. They stayed out for a bit more before Liam decided it was enough for her and they got out. She started crying as soon as they left the pool.

 

“Laylee we can go back tomorrow,” Liam said as they walked into the house, Layla full on crying now and begging to go back. He found Zayn and Zoheb in the living room watching TV. Zoheb still looking sad from where he lay in Zayn’s lap.

 

“Someone didn’t want to get out,” Liam said with a smile as Zayn looked up in alarm when he heard Layla crying.

 

“Layla,” Zayn said when Liam sat down beside them. She was wrapped in a towel and hiccupping through her tears now. “You can go back tomorrow meri jaan.”

 

“Swim!” Layla yelled.

 

“It’s night-time now Layla. I promise we’ll go back tomorrow. Don’t you want to play with Daisy now?” Liam asked. She stopped crying at the mention of the puppy.

 

“ ‘Sie?” Layla asked and sat up straight.

 

“Daisy,” Liam called and the puppy came bounding into the room, followed by Arya as well. Both dogs jumped excitedly when Layla lowered herself down. They ran circles around her and she squealed and ran off with them. Zoheb quietly got off the sofa and walked away too.

 

“Probably should have changed her wet suit,” Liam said.

 

“Zoheb thinks you’re disappointed in him,” Zayn murmured.

 

“What?” Liam looked over at Zayn in shock. “Why?”

 

“Nothing specific. But he said you looked happy that Layla was brave enough to go in the pool and since he was, as he said, a ‘scaredy-cat,’ that you wouldn’t be happy with him,” Zayn said.

 

“I would never want him to think that. I would much rather he wait until he’s 100% ready and confident to go in the pool and if that happens when he’s 30 years old, so be it. I would never want him to do something to make you or me happy when he’s actually terrified or unhappy. What would give him this impression?” Liam asked.

 

“I don’t know. You did nothing wrong jaan. You said the right thing. He’s just a little sensitive and while I’m not trying to spin this negatively, the truth is that he worships you. He always wants to do things that make you smile and I don’t know… maybe that has upset him,” Zayn sighed and curled closer to Liam.

 

“I don’t want him to think like that. He should be doing things to make himself happy. _That_ is where my happiness lies. In his happiness and safety,” Liam said and dropped his face into Zayn’s hair.

 

“Don’t worry jaan. He’ll be okay. Just talk to him yeah? Maybe before bed? I just… I just hoped that maybe he’d swim today because I know that personally when I avoided water for half of my life it just made me more fearful of it day by day. My anxiety just grew. I don’t want him growing up scared and anxious like I did,” Zayn said in a soft voice.

 

“Baby… there was nothing wrong with you being anxious near water, or learning to swim late. We should never force ourselves to get over fears and phobias by jumping straight into the middle of it. You did it when you were ready and confident about it. Zoheb will too. Don’t stress,” Liam said and tilted Zayn’s face up to kiss him.

 

“Thanks, jaan,” Zayn murmured and wrapped his arms tightly around Liam. “I just worry for him. I see so much of myself in him and I know I went through almost two decades of crippling anxiety and other bullshit like nasty bullies. I don’t want that for our son.”

 

“Zoheb is fine Zayn. Anxiety isn’t a bad thing. You know this yourself. As for bullies and stuff, we can only hope he doesn’t run into that, but we’ve raised an intelligent little boy who knows to talk about things and ask for help if need be. We can’t shield him from everything but we can try our damn hardest. Don’t you remember when we first brought him home and we were constantly on edge and you were crying because we thought maybe we’d made a mistake and we couldn’t handle a baby? But then Zoheb just smiled at us as if he was trying to reassure us, the grown ass men, that everything would be okay. Well I’ve known since then that this boy, he’ll be okay. He’ll always be okay in life,” Liam said in a reassuring tone and kissed Zayn’s head.

 

“I love you,” Zayn said with a smile and pecked his lips. “You always have the right thing to say at the tip of your tongue.”

 

“That’s why I’m here. To reassure you my little worrier,” Liam teased and hugged hum tight.

 

“Jaan.” Zayn grinned and moved into his lap to kiss him. They had barely started to turn the kiss deeper when the kids came shrieking into the living room with Jon chasing them.

 

 

**

 

 

“You know this December is jam-packed? Ramadan and Eid fall in December, Christmas is right after and then Zoheb’s birthday? Why don’t we organise a surprise trip for the family and take everyone somewhere nice instead of having Christmas here like always? And Zo has never had a birthday trip,” Zayn said to Liam who was sitting up in bed working on his laptop. Zayn was dressing Layla after having given her a bath. She tugged on a strand of his hair and Zayn smiled and kissed the sole of her foot.

 

“Sounds good. Fair warning though, Zoheb really wants to go to Disneyland again and that doesn’t sound appropriate for Christmas or Eid,” Liam said.

 

“We’re not going to Disneyland in December. We’ll go next summer. How about somewhere nice with snow and mountains?” Zayn suggested and picked Layla up.

 

“Switzerland?” Liam said and looked up with a smile.

 

“Maybe. We’ve got a few months,” Zayn said and kissed Layla’s head. “Wanna go say goodnight to Bhaiya, Laylee?”

 

Zayn walked out with Layla on his hip and went to Zoheb’s room where he had left the boy to get into his pajamas and brush his teeth. Zoheb’s light was on but he wasn’t in his room. Zayn frowned and peeked into the bathroom but Zoheb wasn’t there either.

 

“Where’s Zo?” Zayn murmured.

 

“Zo?” Layla asked with a furrowed brow.

 

“Zoheb,” Zayn called out. He wandered outside and checked Layla’s room and bathroom. Then he peeked into the guest rooms and his and Liam’s offices. He went downstairs and looked in the living room, library, kitchen and playroom but no sign. He knew Zoheb wouldn’t have gone to the basement alone because he was scared of it. Even when he wanted to go to the home theatre he would only go if Zayn or Liam were there.

 

“Liam,” Zayn said, slightly panicked, when he walked back into their room. “Have you seen Zoheb?”

 

“No,” Liam said with a frown. “Why?”

 

“He’s not in his room or anywhere else in the house,” Zayn said and rubbed Layla’s back as she became agitated in his arms.

 

“Basement?” Liam said and quickly grabbed his iPad from the bedside table.

 

“He never goes there alone,” Zayn said and watched Liam access the security cameras from his iPad. Liam checked every room in the house through the surveillance feed and the basement as well, but Zoheb wasn’t there.

 

“The back doors were opened ten minutes forty seconds ago and the lights turned on by sensor activation,” Liam said with slight alarm in his voice. Zayn felt something in his chest tighten and he looked over Liam’s shoulder as he accessed the cameras for the back grounds. He jumped through different angles and saw nothing. But when he stopped at the one by the pool, they both froze. There was a shadowy shape floating in the water, almost motionless.

 

There was a second where time felt like it wasn’t moving and Zayn and Liam locked eyes. Zayn felt like his heart had stopped beating completely. Liam threw the iPad so quickly that it flew across the room and a loud cracking sound was heard. Liam was off the bed at the speed of light and running down the stairs. When’s Zayn’s brain finally connected back to reality, he ran from the room like his life depended on it. He held Layla tightly, aware of her in his arms, and ran downstairs and out the back door where he could see Liam running towards the pool. When Zayn got closer and the spotlights made things clearer, he saw that the tiny form was in Spiderman pajamas and he screamed.

 

“Zoheb!” Zayn screamed like a mad-man and Layla burst out crying in his arms. Liam was a foot away from the pool and he dove straight in.

 

Zayn could distantly hear himself screaming and crying as he hugged Layla tightly to his chest. Liam was swimming quickly to Zoheb and he scooped him up in his arms. Zoheb still wasn’t moving. Liam reached the edge and pulled himself and Zoheb out and Zayn ran forward.

 

“Zoheb! Jaan!” Zayn yelled through his tears and he knelt beside them and touched Zoheb’s cheek. His dark hair lay wet and limp across his forehead and his long lashes lay still on his cheeks.

 

“He’s unconscious,” Liam said, pale as a sheet. “Zoheb, sweet-face, please open your eyes. I’m begging you sweetheart, open your eyes for Dada.”

 

“Liam take Layla,” Zayn said and handed Layla over before gently laying Zoheb down on the ground. For years he had studied situations like this and hadn’t ever thought that he’d see his own son lying practically lifeless while he attempted to save him. Liam took Layla and Zayn started performing CPR on Zoheb. His own body was shaking but he looked at his son, the tiny body of his son, who had come into their life four and a half years ago and brightened it like the sun. Zayn pinched Zoheb’s nose and blew air into his mouth before alternating with chest compressions.

 

“Meri jaan please. Please open your eyes for Baba,” Zayn cried and continued while praying for Zoheb to open his eyes. At that moment Zoheb’s body shook and he coughed up water before his eyes opened. Zayn cried in relief and helped him up gently as Zoheb still coughed.

 

“Steady jaan,” Zayn whispered and pulled him into his lap to hug him tightly. Liam moved forward and took Zoheb’s hand before kissing all over it.

 

“Zo?” Layla said with wide teary eyes.

 

“Inside,” Liam said. Zayn stood up with Zoheb in his arms and they walked back inside to their bedroom. Zayn lay Zoheb down and Liam set Layla down before going back out the room.

 

“What were you doing beta?” Zayn asked, his tears still running. Zoheb was shaking and looking at him with a pale face.

 

“Did I get stuck in the pool?” Zoheb asked in a frightened tone.

 

“Almost,” Zayn said and kissed his head. “Why were you out there jaani?”

Liam came back with towels and dry clothes for Zoheb. “Can you sit up sweet-face?” Liam asked gently and kissed Zoheb’s head. Zoheb nodded and Liam helped him take his clothes off before towelling him down and putting dry clothes on. Zayn wrapped him in a comforter and then tugged him in his lap.

 

“Should we take him to the hospital?” Liam asked and stroked Zoheb’s wet fringe.

 

“No I don’t think so. It doesn’t look like he hit his head and I’ll stay up to watch him. He’ll probably have more shock and a chance of catching a cold. There wasn’t much water in his lungs and he coughed it all up,” Zayn said and kissed Zoheb’s head. Layla crawled over to touch Zoheb slowly and Zayn pulled her into his lap too.

 

“Zo… why were you out there?” Liam asked softly.

 

“’Cus… ‘cus I didn’t want to be a scaredy-cat,” Zoheb stuttered tearfully. Zayn looked up and when his eyes locked with Liam’s, he saw his own heart-break mirrored there.

 

“Zoheb,” Liam said softly. He carefully picked Zoheb up and put him into his own lap before kissing all over his face. “You are _not_ a scaredy-cat. You are nowhere close. All of us are afraid of a few things in life. That doesn’t mean that we’re weak or we should be embarrassed. That’s what makes us human. I love you more than anything in this world and I don’t care if you don’t like swimming or never want to do it. I don’t care. Whatever makes you happy is all I care about.”

 

“But Laylee is a baby and she’s not scared. Why am I scared?” Zoheb asked and started crying.

 

“Jaani we’re all different people,” Zayn said softly and kissed Zoheb’s tears. “You know I was twenty years old and still scared of water. I wouldn’t swim even if your Dada begged me. I hated it. But it didn’t matter. I wasn’t a scaredy-cat or weak or anything. It was simply something I didn’t like and I didn’t want to force myself. Then one day I felt ready to learn and I did. I was a grown-up when that happened but I didn’t care. We all face our fears when we can and if we don’t, it doesn’t matter. Layla is afraid of spiders but you’re not. Do you think she’s a scaredy-cat because of that?” Zayn asked.

 

“No,” Zoheb replied.

 

“Exactly. So my love it doesn’t matter if you’re afraid of the water. Nobody thinks you’re weak. And if they do, they’re weak-minded,” Zayn said and kissed Zoheb’s head.

 

“I wanted to learn so I could also have fun with Dada,” Zoheb said sadly.

 

“Sweet-face, you and I have a million and one other ways to have fun. When we’re on the canoe, you like that. Or when we ride Carrots and Peanut we have fun. You’re my little sunshine and I don’t care if you never swim. I don’t care one bit,” Liam said and hugged him tightly.

 

“Okay. I’m sorry,” Zoheb stuttered and rubbed his eyes. “I’m sorry I entered the code and went out so late.”

 

“How do you know the code?” Zayn asked.

 

“I saw Dada enter it one night. It’s your birthday Baba,” Zoheb said.

 

“I know jaan,” Zayn said and smiled while he looked over at Liam as if to say ‘this kid.’

 

“Can I sleep here?” Zoheb asked.

 

“I think we all deserve a little sleep-over here,” Liam said with a smile and stroked Layla’s hair as well who was nodding off in Zayn’s lap, unaware of everything.

 

“Can you do the Dua, Baba jaan?” Zoheb asked.

 

“Of course,” Zayn said. Liam put Zoheb on the bed and Zayn set Layla down beside him. Liam got up to change his own wet clothes as well while Zayn said the nightly prayers over the kids who were now knocked out. When Liam came back, he turned the lights off. Zayn was sat up and stroking Zoheb’s hair while holding onto Layla’s hand. He felt tears stinging his eyes again and Liam pressed a kiss to his lips.

 

“He’s okay angel. Don’t worry,” Liam whispered.

 

“We’re putting a tarp over that pool,” Zayn said and grabbed onto Liam’s hand tightly. “Never again do I want to see my baby lying lifeless like that. I thought he died Liam. And in that moment, I wished I’d died instead.”

 

“I know baby, I know,” Liam replied. In his face, Zayn could see that he felt the same way. Liam sat up with him and they both didn’t sleep a wink. A single whimper from Zoheb sending them into worry again.

 

 

**

 

 

It was early morning and Liam walked into the kitchen while covering up a yawn. Him and Zayn had fallen asleep an hour ago after finally realizing Zoheb was okay, but then Liam’s alarm rang and he came down. He had a Skype meeting in an hour and he felt delirious. He turned on the coffee machine and pulled out a water bottle. Usually he worked out before breakfast but today he felt wiped. He put a piece of bread in the toaster and sat down with his laptop to go over a report before the meeting. He was half-way through it when he heard light footsteps. He turned around and saw Zoheb walk in slowly. He smiled when he saw Liam and looked a little nervous.

 

“Morning sweet-face,” Liam said and scooped him up to cover him with messy kisses. “Up so early?”

 

“I heard your alarm,” Zoheb said and buried his face in Liam’s neck.

 

“How are you feeling? Does your head or body hurt?” Liam asked and touched his forehead.

 

“I’m okay,” Zoheb said. “Promise.”

“Good. But you need to tell me when anything is off. Want some breakfast?” Liam asked and sat him down on a bar stool at the island.

 

“Yes please,” Zoheb said. Liam poured him some cereal and cut up a banana how the boy liked and placed it next to his cereal. Liam took his own coffee cup and sat back in his chair beside Zoheb with a kiss to his head.

 

“Do you remember everything we talked about Zo?” Liam asked.

 

“Yes Dada. I promise I won’t do it again,” Zoheb said. He tapped Liam’s arm gently and when he smiled, Liam grinned and pulled him into his own lap. Zoheb balanced his plate of bananas on his lap and watched Liam work.

 

“Dada?” Zoheb said softly.

 

“Yes sweet-face,” Liam said and kissed the top of his head.

 

“I love you,” Zoheb said and looked up with a smile. Liam felt his heart melt and he kissed Zoheb’s forehead gently.

“I love you too Zoheb. I love you more than anything in this entire world,” Liam replied and pinched his chin gently.

 

“Are you going to the office today?” Zoheb asked.

 

“Well I have a meeting over Skype and then I have to go into the city for another meeting but I’ll be home quickly. I promise,” Liam said and squeezed Zoheb in his arms.

 

“You know Dada, you said you make a lot of hotels, but how about you make a really, really big amusement park. So many kids will come,” Zoheb suggested with a smile.

 

“That’s a million-dollar idea my love. I will definitely bring that up at the next meeting,” Liam said and laughed at Zoheb’s keen sense of business. “One day you can take over and make all these intelligent decisions.”

 

“I’m going to work in your office?” Zoheb asked.

 

“Only if you want to sweetheart. You can do anything you want in this world. Be anything you want. There’s so many options and you’re so smart and artistic that you could be anything,” Liam said. “But everything that I have is yours and Layla’s. Now and in the future. Everything I have and make is for you guys.”

 

“That’s a lot of stuff,” Zoheb pondered. “Is that a lot of money?”

 

“It is,” Liam answered.

 

“What if I don’t want a lot of money? Can I give it away to someone who needs it? Baba says there’s a school in Pakistan where he is going to give some money so more kids can go to school and learn. Maybe I’ll do the same. I already have a lot of things but some kids have nothing,” Zoheb said. Liam smiled and felt pride in the fact that their four-year old was already this charitable and big-hearted.

 

“You can do anything you want with it. Just remember, no much how much money you have in the world, it doesn’t matter if people don’t respect you. Using that money for good reasons, like giving it to someone who doesn’t have any, is one way to use that money wisely,” Liam said.

 

“We can also get a really, really big farm and then bring in all the animals who don’t have houses,” Zoheb said excitedly.

 

“You have a very big heart, Zo. Never change,” Liam said and kissed his head. “Now are you done eating?”

 

“Yes,” Zoheb answered.

 

“Good. Now how about we go feed Carrots and Peanut after breakfast?” Liam asked. Feeding the horses was something him and Zoheb shared which the boy loved. Peanut was technically Zoheb’s pony and he had started to learn how to ride him too. Layla was too young to ride a horse but given how adventurous she was as a toddler, Liam was sure she’d pick it up soon.

 

“Yeah!” Zoheb said excitedly. Liam smiled and kissed his head. Zoheb drank his juice hurriedly and when he was finished, Liam helped him put boots on under his pajamas since the barn was muddy, and then he put his own on. They walked hand in hand to the barn, the morning sun just coming up.

 

“Do horses like just grass, Dada?” Zoheb asked.

 

“Mostly. That’s why they love being out on the field to eat the grass. They also like hay and carrots and apples,” Liam held up the bag of carrots.

 

“So they only like vegetables? Not chicken like Jon or Arya… or other animals?” Zoheb asked and stumbled a little. Liam quickly helped him up as they walked down the hill.

 

“Horses are herbivores so they only eat plants. Dogs and many other animals like lions are carnivores so they eat meat. Some animals like humans are omnivores who eat both,” Liam said. He watched Zoheb carefully practice the words.

 

“Can I be a herbi- herbivore? I don’t want to eat other animals,” Zoheb said with a frown.

 

“Of course sweet-face,” Liam said with a small smile. “If that’s what you want.”

 

They reached the barn and Liam unlocked it before they went inside. Zoheb ran over to Peanut’s stall and jumped up and down. “Hi Peanut! Hi Carrots!” Zoheb waved at the horses.

 

Liam picked the boy up and gave him carrots which he could feed the horses. Zoheb’s face was bright with happiness as he held the carrots out and stroked the horses’ manes. He giggled whenever they licked his hand. Liam busied himself with changing the hay and water while Zoheb stood on a stool to brush their manes. When they were done, Liam let the horses out into the fenced off field so they could be out and graze. Then they made their way to the rabbits and fed them and changed their water before walking back to the house. When they walked in, Zayn was pacing frantically in the kitchen with Layla in his arms. When he saw them his face broke into relief.

 

“For the love of God jaan,” Zayn said exasperatedly. “Take your phone with you! I thought something had happened again.”

 

“Sorry baby,” Liam said and kissed Zayn. “I didn’t even realize.” Liam kissed Layla’s head too and went to the sink to wash his hands.

 

“Sorry Baba jaan. We just went to feed the horses and rabbits,” Zoheb said as Zayn bent to kiss him.

 

“Okay jaani?” Zayn asked.

 

“Yes Baba,” Zoheb answered with a smile.

 

“I’ll make some breakfast,” Liam said and pulled some eggs out. Zayn came up to him and leaned against the counter as he watched Zoheb and Layla who were in a huddle with the pets on the kitchen floor. Zoheb was holding Daisy up like a parent would hold a baby and rocking her. She seemed surprisingly mellow by it. Liam smiled and then looked over at Zayn who still looked worried.

 

“Angel,” Liam murmured and stroked Zayn’s jaw which prompted him to look over and smile at Liam. “Zo is fine. He doesn’t even seem shaken up anymore. If he sees you worried he’ll think that something is wrong and he’ll get worried.”

 

“I know, I know,” Zayn mumbled and dropped his head on Liam’s shoulder. “I’m not gonna go into the clinic today though. Just to be sure. I know you have a Skype meeting and then you need to be in the city for a lunch meeting so you should go. I’ll be here.”

 

“You sure?” Liam asked and wrapped his arms around Zayn’s waist.

 

“Positive,” Zayn said and kissed him. “And your eggs are burning babe.” Zayn smiled and walked away to join the kids as Liam quickly turned to the eggs which were indeed burning.

 

**

 

 

“Pencils, notebook, water bottle, lunch. We’re all packed.”

 

Liam put his hand up for a high-five and Zoheb smacked it with a dimpled grin. Zayn was at the breakfast table getting Layla to finish her porridge and Liam smiled at him before turning back to Zoheb.

 

“And how are we doing?” Liam asked Zoheb and fixed his shoelaces.

 

“Umm… is it okay to say that I’m a little bit scared?” Zoheb mumbled and tugged on his t-shirt. It had the Gryffindor house crest on it and Zoheb had chosen it himself this morning for his first day.

 

“Of course it is sweet-face,” Liam said and kissed his forehead. “I was so nervous on my first day of kindergarten that I threw up. Nana and Papa were upset. I had to change my clothes at the last second and then I was late.”

 

“Really?” Zoheb giggled.

 

“And I was so scared that I screamed and cried and wouldn’t let Abu jaan and Ami jaan go. I grabbed on to their legs and cried and cried. Uncle Harry was crying too. The teacher had to pull us in,” Zayn said as he came and knelt by Liam with Layla.

 

“Then what happened?” Zoheb asked with wide eyes.

 

“Well… to tell you the truth I didn’t have much fun on my first day and me and Uncle Haz just sat together the whole time and waited for the bell to ring,” Zayn explained and pushed Zoheb’s hair back. “But on the second day we finally went over to the arts and crafts corner and we had fun. After that I liked going every day. And jaani we met your teacher on orientation, Ms. Ellie seems so lovely.”

 

“I know. What if I can’t make friends?” Zoheb asked in a whisper.

 

“You will my love,” Liam said and pulled Zoheb into his chest. “On the first day, all the little kids are just as scared as you. Don’t feel afraid to introduce yourself and make some friends.”

 

“Exactly. And sometimes it just takes some time,” Zayn said and rubbed Zoheb’s back.

 

“So… so I just say, hi my name is Zoheb James Malik-Payne can I be your friend?” Zoheb asked with confusion swimming in his eyes.

 

“You can say that. Or you can invite someone to play with you or eat lunch with you. If they’re doing something fun you can ask them if it’s okay for you to join,” Zayn suggested with a smile. Liam pinched Zoheb’s nose, endeared by his innocent approach to making friends.

 

“Ready to go Zo?” Liam asked. “I’ll be dropping you off and then Baba will pick you up okay?”

 

Zoheb nodded and held out his arms for Zayn to hug him. Zayn pulled him into a fierce hug and kissed all over the top of his head. He held onto Zoheb for so long that Liam had to gently rub his back. Zayn looked up and his eyes seemed to be filled with tears. Liam pecked his forehead and then moved to the table to grab his own suit jacket and briefcase before turning back to them.

 

“One to keep you smiling,” Zayn said and kissed Zoheb’s cheek, “two to give you a long life,” he said and kissed Zoheb’s other cheek, “three to keep you healthy,” he said and kissed Zoheb’s nose, “four to give you everything you wish for,” he said with a kiss to Zoheb’s chin, “and five because I love you,” he finished with a lingering kiss to Zoheb’s forehead.

 

Zoheb was giggling and Liam grinned to. Zayn had a ritual with these five kisses he gave the kids before they left anywhere and if he ever forgot, Zoheb would always ask for them since he was so used to them. Zoheb kissed Zayn’s cheek and then moved over to Layla and pressed a kiss to her head. Then he kissed every dog and cat and said goodbye before coming over to Liam to take his hand.

 

“Khuda Hafiz Baba jaan. Bye Laylee,” Zoheb said and waved. Zayn blew him a kiss and Layla waved at Zoheb in slight confusion. They had never been separated and she was probably puzzled. Liam blew kisses to Zayn and Layla before he left with Zoheb. Zayn had to drop Layla off at his parents and then be at the clinic by eight, so Liam would drop Zoheb off alone and then Zayn would pick him up. It was Zoheb’s first day but it felt hugely monumental to the both of them more than the boy.

 

Liam buckled Zoheb into the back of his car and then got in the driver’s seat. He looked back and saw that Zoheb looked a little pale as he clutched at his backpack, which looked a little too massive for him. “Okay sweet-face?” Liam asked as he pulled onto the road.

 

Zoheb just nodded and stared out the window. Liam reached back and rubbed his knee soothingly. It was a short ride to the school and Liam pulled onto the side of the road behind other cars before looking back at Zoheb. “Ready?”

 

“I don’t feel good Dada,” Zoheb said as he stared out at the kids who were running around. He looked absolutely pale and Liam thought for one second that maybe he could take his son back home because he hated seeing that look on his face.

 

“ZoZo, I promise you’ll be fine. All the other kids feel just like you. And once you get in there you’ll see that. You’re going to have so much fun,” Liam said with an encouraging smile.

 

“If-if,” Zoheb stuttered and he bit his lip. “If I d- don’t like it, c-can I c- call you t-to p-pick me u-up?”

 

“If you feel really badly then I’ll come get you. I swear. But if you don’t try it how will you know?” Liam said.

 

“I guess,” Zoheb said with a sigh.

 

Liam smiled and got out of his seat to go around to Zoheb’s door and he opened it to help the boy out. When Zoheb was on the ground, Liam helped him put his backpack on and then smiled at him. It was in Zoheb’s big hazel eyes that Liam felt his weakness lay. The eyes that were identical to the man who he had fallen in love with, the man who was his everything. And now this little boy was his everything.

 

“Can I have a smile?” Liam asked and rubbed the spot where Zoheb’s dimple was. The boy was playing with Liam’s tie nervously and his face broke into a smile. “There’s the most beautiful smile in the world,” Liam said and kissed his head. “Ready to go in?”

 

Zoheb nodded and clung to Liam’s hand as they walked towards the school. There were kids from the ages of 4-10 running around. Parents and teachers were mixed in the middle. Liam saw a few curious looks towards from people who possibly recognized him but he kept a protective grip on Zoheb’s hand, the boy already looking freaked by the crowds. They reached the kindergarten lines and it was more obvious by the wailing kids.

 

“Dada,” Zoheb stammered, his chin trembling.

 

“It’s okay sweet-face. Come on,” Liam said gently and walked forward where he recognized Zoheb’s teacher.

 

“Hello Zoheb!” The teacher, Ellie, exclaimed when she saw him. Zoheb waved shyly and buried his face in Liam’s side.

 

“Just a little nervous,” Liam explained and Ellie nodded understandingly.

 

“Well we’re all about to head in. Would you like to hold my hand Zoheb?” She bent down and smiled at him. He looked up at Liam and when Liam smiled encouragingly, he moved forward to take his teacher’s hand.

 

“If anything happens, please feel free to call me or my husband. I’m in the city at my office and my husband is closer by, but I’ll be keeping my phone on all day in case something happens,” Liam said.

 

“Of course. But we’ll be fine. Don’t worry,” Ellie said and smiled. Liam looked down at Zoheb who still looked pale. Liam knelt to the ground and hugged him tightly before kissing his head.

 

“Love you sweet-face. Love you so, so much,” Liam murmured and kissed him again before moving back. Zoheb was smiling nervously, his chin trembling, and Liam blew him a little kiss before walking back to his car. He watched Zoheb’s class walking in, hand in hand, and he felt slightly emotional as he realized that Zoheb was no longer a little baby. The baby who slept more in their bed than his own crib the first six months because they were so nervous whenever he cried. The little baby who used to come running out a like a little penguin whenever Liam came home from work. The little baby he stayed at home with for close to a year when Zayn was busy with his new clinic. His little baby, now officially in school. Liam sighed and got in his car to go off to work.

 

**

 

 

“Ready to see Bhaiya, Laylee?” Zayn asked and looked back at Layla with a grin. She was in her car seat and munching on a cracker. She nodded excitedly and clapped her hands. Zayn smiled and pulled into the line of cars parked on the street where other parents were waiting. Zayn climbed out and helped Layla out too. He kept her balanced on his hip because if he let her down, she’d be off like lightning. Always ready to make friends and discover new things like a social butterfly.

 

“Zo, Baba?” Layla asked curiously.

 

“Zo’s coming bunny,” Zayn said and kissed her head. The bell sounded and at first the older kids came running out, screaming at one another. Zayn remembered himself being awkward and naïve at ten and these kids seemed like mini-adults. They waited until finally the kindergarten teachers came out with their line of kids. Many kids started running excitedly to their parents. Zayn spotted Zoheb holding the teacher’s hand and he looked a little sullen. Zayn’s heart lurched at the sadness on his son’s face.

 

When Zoheb saw him he ran forward. Layla was bouncing at this point so Zayn let her down and she ran to Zoheb. They met in a hug and Zoheb kissed Layla’s head before they walked back to Zayn, hand in hand. “Salam-kum Baba jaan,” Zoheb said. Zayn knelt and wrapped him in a hug.

 

“Walaikumsalam meri jaan,” Zayn said and kissed him all over. “How are you?”

 

“Good. Can we go home?” Zoheb asked. Zayn nodded although he stared at Zoheb in confusion. He put Layla back in her booster seat and then buckled Zoheb in too. He started driving home and looked back at Zoheb in the rear-view mirror.

 

“How was the first day jaani?” Zayn asked.

 

“Okay. We sang some songs, said our names, then we coloured, had lunch and naptime, read some stories, played and home-time,” Zoheb said in a low voice.

 

“What was your favourite part?” Zayn questioned him with a smile.

 

“I liked colouring,” Zoheb answered softly.

 

“Did you make any friends?” Zayn asked. At that, Zoheb became quiet and just shook his head. Zayn looked at him worriedly but the boy was staring out the window. They got home and Zayn made the kids wash-up before they went off to the living room. Layla busied herself with a little game of hide and jump with Jon. She had never been afraid of him despite his intimidating size as a German shepherd. Their relationship was quite endearing. Zoheb on the other hand sat on the ground and sorted out his puzzle from the day before. Zayn came into the room with sandwiches and juice and sat down beside Zoheb.

 

“Hungry?” Zayn asked and rubbed his back. Zoheb nodded but when he looked over at the sandwiches he paused.

 

“Can I have some cheese pizza?” Zoheb asked.

 

“Uh, sure jaani. But these are Nutella, just like you love,” Zayn said with a smile.

 

“I don’t want it today,” Zoheb said and fidgeted with his juice box.

 

“Okay. Since it was your first day and all I think you deserve some pizza. I’ll order it now but it may take time,” Zayn said and pulled out his phone.

 

When the pizza arrived, Zayn went to open the gates to allow the driver through and then went to the front door to pay for it. When he went back to the living room he heard Zoheb talking so he paused outside.

 

“I wish you were also in school Laylee. Then you could be my friend. Everyone was making friends but I don’t know how. If you were there I wouldn’t need anyone because you could be my best friend. And maybe I wouldn’t be alone when those bigger boys were mean to me,” Zoheb said as he and Layla played with Legos

 

Zayn felt like his skin was on fire when he heard Zoheb say the last part. Who the fuck was bullying a four-year-old in this school? Zayn felt like he would be sick. But if he confronted Zoheb now he would freak him out. Zayn took a deep breath and walked in with the pizza.

 

“Here we are,” Zayn said with a smile and set it down. Zoheb grinned and rushed over with Layla on his heels. Zayn brought out plates and more juice and then he sat on the ground beside the kids. Zoheb was eating his piece quietly and Layla was yanking the cheese off hers and licking the sauce from her fingers.

 

“Laylee,” Zayn sighed and broke it into little bites for her. After they finished eating pizza, Zayn did piano lessons with Zoheb who finally perked up after being dejected all day. He loved learning to play the piano and Zayn loved teaching him. They always finished the lessons with Zoheb requesting Zayn to play a song which he did happily. Zoheb asked for ‘the song Dada loves to hear you play’ and Zayn played and sang ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love with You’ while Zoheb sat beside him on the bench and watched with an awed smile. Him and Layla then danced around the room as Zayn played and sang.

 

Zayn was cleaning up in the kitchen later when he heard the front door open and the dogs started barking. “Hello, hello,” Liam was saying in the foyer. Amidst the dogs barking and Layla hurrying out yelling ‘Dada’ Zayn couldn’t hear anything. He was wiping down the counter when Liam walked in with Layla in his arms.

 

“She said bubblegum. That is the most random word to learn,” Liam said with a chuckle.

 

“Yesterday she said pineapple. I have no idea how she picks these long words up but can’t fully say cat yet,” Zayn said with a grin. He leaned over the counter and kissed Liam before turning around to wash his hands.

 

“Where’s Zo? How was his first day?” Liam inquired.

 

“Zoheb is outside on the swings. Umm… we need to talk about something. But you should shower and change first. Maybe have some dinner,” Zayn said.

 

“You sound ominous sweetheart. And you have that look when you’re about to give me bad news,” Liam said with raised brows.

 

“Just… go change and let yourself relax a bit and then we can talk,” Zayn said in a serious tone.

 

“Are you leaving me?” Liam questioned with a gasp and grinned when Layla giggled.

 

“Layla, please tell Daddy to stop being silly and to go change so he can eat,” Zayn said with a roll of his eyes.

 

“Daddy knows what he wants to eat,” Liam murmured and leaned forward to bite Zayn’s ear.

 

“Liam!” Zayn exclaimed and tugged Layla away before giving Liam a shove. “Control yourself. Go.”

 

“Okay, okay,” Liam said with a laugh.

 

“Do you want me to heat some pizza up for you or make you a salad?” Zayn asked.

 

“Pizza’s okay,” Liam said and kissed his and Layla’s cheeks before leaving.

 

“Daddy is so silly,” Zayn said to Layla.

 

“Silly Daddy!” Layla said with a bright laugh

 

 

**

 

 

Liam was sitting by the pool on his phone with one of his employees in London. A year ago, they had launched the third office of RED management in London. Their first office and official headquarters were still in Manhattan, five years ago they had opened one in LA and they had continued to grow. Their largest division after athletes was now models so it made sense to open another one in Europe, and London was the best option. Liam sipped his scotch as he listened to the rundown from the manager in London. He was humming in agreement when Zayn walked up to him and sat down in his lap. Liam smiled and rubbed his chin gently before kissing him. Zayn scratched along his beard and then toyed with the Cartier and angel necklace which still sat around Liam’s neck.

 

“Sounds good Sofia. We need to schedule a meeting for next month so contact my assistant and let him know your dates. Alright. Take care. Bye.” Liam shut his phone and Zayn immediately kissed him as soon as he was done. Liam smiled against his mouth and leaned back in his seat while pulling Zayn closer.

 

“You look kinda hot today. What’s new?” Zayn asked with a grin.

 

“It’s that post long workday glow. Some call it stress glow,” Liam said with a small smirk.

 

“Mmm. Sexy,” Zayn chuckled and licked Liam’s lips before kissing him again. Then he sighed and moved back. “I’m getting distracted. I came out here to grab you because we need to talk. Zoheb has to sleep soon so we have to do it now.”

 

“Sure,” Liam said and stood up. “What happened though?”

 

“Well,” Zayn said and rubbed his face. “I overheard him talking to Layla and saying he wished she were at the school too so they could be friends, and how he wouldn’t be alone, and how… how then some bigger boys wouldn’t be mean to him. What the fuck Liam? Our son is being bullied on his first day?”

 

“What?” Liam asked as red hot anger rose inside him. “Who the fuck is doing this?”

 

“Look,” Zayn said and stopped him. “We’re going to ask Zoheb with our calm faces on. We can’t freak him out.” Liam inhaled deeply as they walked into the living room. Layla was already sleeping, spread out like a starfish, on the sofa. Zoheb was cuddling with Ray on the ground and scratching the old cat’s ears.

 

“Jaani,” Zayn said softly and sat down beside him. Liam settled onto the ground as well and Zoheb sat up.

 

“Yes?” Zoheb said.

 

“Beta… did something happen in school today?” Zayn asked as he ran his fingers through Zoheb’s hair.

 

“N-no. Why?” Zoheb asked as his eyes widened.

 

“Earlier I heard you saying to Layla that some boys were mean to you at school?” Zayn asked gently. “What did they say?”

“You can tell us Zo. You’re not in trouble or anything. Promise,” Liam said and picked up Zoheb’s hand to kiss it.

 

“Umm,” Zoheb said and blinked down at Ray in front of him. “Some b-bigger boys were being mean during r-recess. First, they called me a l-loser for my H-Harry Potter shirt and were poking at it. And then they… then they said I should go back to where I came from. But I was confused because this is where I’m from. What- what did they mean?”

 

Zoheb was staring at them with confused eyes and his hands were shaking. Liam felt like anger was about to burst from his body. He controlled it and looked over at Zayn whose face was tight too. Liam pulled Zoheb forward and kissed his head.

 

“They were being ignorant Zoheb. They are absolutely wrong. You’re right. You are from here, this is your home, you belong here as much as anyone else and no one can question that. Sometimes… sometimes people think they can be mean to others because they look different than them. But that is wrong. Never treat someone badly because of any difference they have from you. In the way they look, or speak or eat or do certain things. Love everyone equally. Sometimes people forget that and they can be mean when someone is different. Like you liking Harry Potter for instance, or the fact that you are Pakistani and American both,” Liam explained while rubbing Zoheb’s back.

 

“Th-they also then made fun of how- how I talk. Why did they do that? One boy today had a Superman lunchbox. I don’t like superman but I didn’t say mean things to him because he likes something different,” Zoheb said with a frown.

 

“And that’s what makes you amazing meri jaan. You are a kind and loving boy. Some people bully others because they think it’s funny. It’s not funny. Never. Hurting someone’s feelings is the meanest thing anyone could ever do. Allah says be kind to everyone around you yeah? We have to be good people to show others what kindness is. And if someone is mean to you, you ignore them and walk away and then tell a grown-up. There’s no need to fight back with them or become just like them. Walk away, and tell a teacher, me or Dada,” Zayn said.

 

“Will I ever have friends?” Zoheb asked tearfully.

 

“Yes sweet-face! You absolutely will! You already have so many friends and cousins that you never have to worry. But you’ll make friends in school too even if it takes time,” Liam said and kissed his head. “As for the mean boys, if you see them again then don’t go ear them. Stay near other kids. And if they bother you again, you tell a teacher or supervisor right away. Okay?”

 

“Okay,” Zoheb said.

 

“Are you feeling better?” Zayn asked.

 

“Yes,” Zoheb answered. “Can you read to me before bed?”

 

“Of course meri jaan. How about you change into your jammies and brush your teeth. We’ll be right there,” Zayn said. Zoheb nodded with a smile and kissed their cheeks before running off.

 

“I swear to God, I will go down to that school, find the parents of these bullies and fuck them up. Hell fuck the parents, I’ll fight those kids. I don’t care how old they are. How dare they come after Zoheb?” Liam said angrily.

 

“Okay, calm down papa bear,” Zayn murmured and squeezed his hand. Liam looked over at him and Zayn looked distressed. His eyes were welling up and Liam stroked his face.

 

“Baby,” Liam said softly.

 

“Liam,” Zayn said in choked voice. “All the things I hated about my myself growing up, things like my stutter and anxiety and being the shy kid who stuck out and got teased for it… these things are now repeating like a sick cycle. Zoheb doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve to have my anxiety genes transferred to him. He gets the stuttering from that. All my life I prayed my children wouldn’t experience that kind of anxiety but no of course I had to transfer my weak genes over.”  
  
“First of all, they were being racist, disgusting little pigs, so how is that your fault or Zoheb’s? It’s their fault for being prejudiced little fucks. As far as the anxiety and stuttering go, I can’t believe you’re saying this. Those things are not weaknesses. They weren’t with you and neither are with our son. Zayn, you started a mental health charity and support group at NYU and regularly speak at conferences about it. How can you say that about Zoheb when I _know_ you believe the opposite,” Liam said and kissed Zayn’s forehead.

 

“I know, I know,” Zayn muttered and wiped his tears. “I’m a 33-year-old man with anxiety about my son’s anxiety,” he said and laughed dryly.

 

“And? There’s nothing wrong with that? It makes you human. It makes you an empathetic and loving father and human in general. You’ve turned all your insecurities and anxieties into strengths and Zoheb looks up to you so much. That is also something he can look up to. Who else to talk to him about these things better than you? You have the raw experience that he can relate to. Zoheb is kind, intelligent, already so artistic, intuitive, sweet, and so much more. Having anxiety or stuttering isn’t dragging him down. It’s part of the rainbow that makes him who he is,” Liam said firmly. “And that goes for you too. You are the single most amazing person I know my love. And our son is and will continue to be as well.”

 

“God, what would I do without you Liam Payne?” Zayn laughed tearfully and hugged him. “Thank you. Thank you for always knowing what to say to me, jaan.”

 

“These same genes you’re blaming are the same genes that gave us our beautiful, incredible little boy. I’m forever grateful to have met you because you made my life what it is and gave me us and Zoheb. So don’t blame those genes or hate them because every single day I am thankful for them,” Liam murmured and kissed him.

 

“You’re something else,” Zayn whispered and kissed him harder. “Whenever I look in Layla’s eyes or see her smile, I feel my heart stumble over itself because the man she inherited them from is my everything. My jaan. And she’s my jaan. Our jaan. My family is my jaan. And you are such a good dad that I can proudly say that one day Layla and Zoheb will be giving the type of beautiful reassuring talks you give me to whomever they love. They’ll get it from their Daddy.”

 

“They’ll get their selfless and pure way of loving from their Baba. I know I fell in love with it. And if our kids turn out to be even a quarter like you, people will have their hearts beating out of their chests with love for them like mine does for you,” Liam said with a smile and stroked Zayn’s face.

 

Zayn’s eyes filled with tears again and he kissed Liam deeply before leaving a few short pecks. Liam picked up Layla and then they walked up to Zoheb’s room to read him another chapter of Harry Potter. Before they went to bed, Zayn told him that he’d be calling Zoheb’s teacher the next day to mention the incident so that she could be on the lookout for whoever the bullies were. Liam would much rather fight whichever idiots raised those kids but Zayn forced him not to. They fell asleep whispering about hopes they had for their kids and their hearts heavy with love.

 

 

**

 

 

“Baba jaan!”

Zayn lifted Zoheb off the ground and kissed his head. “How was today love?”

“I made a friend!” Zoheb beamed. “Her name is Ayesha!”

 

“Really? That’s awesome meri jaan!” Zayn exclaimed and kissed his head again.

 

“Can we invite her over sometime?” Zoheb asked hopefully.

 

“Sure jaani. Tomorrow maybe I can meet her parents and we can talk about it,” Zayn suggested as he helped Zoheb into the car. Zoheb hugged Layla who kissed his cheek in greeting.

 

“She only has a mom. Maybe you can talk to her mom tomorrow,” Zoheb said eagerly.

 

Zayn turned around and smiled at him. “See Zo? I told you that you’d make friends and eventually like kindergarten.”

 

“Sometimes my tummy still gets butterflies and I like to sit by myself until the butterflies leave. But when they do, I like to play with Ayesha. And she like Harry Potter too!” Zoheb was vibrating happily.

 

“See? You made a friend in your second week. Some people don’t make friends until the second month,” Zayn said with a grin. “I told you it would happen.”

 

“I like Ms. Ellie too. She has a really nice voice and can play guitar. I told her my Baba plays piano and my Dada plays guitar and she should come to our house,” Zoheb said.

 

“Jaani, teachers don’t come to students houses but it was still sweet,” Zayn said.

 

“She said so too,” Zoheb replied sadly. “Baba, can we go surprise Dada at work?” Zoheb asked excitedly.

 

“What?” Zayn asked with a laugh, confused at his change of stream.

 

“Can we?” Zoheb asked hopefully.

 

“Not today, jaani. Dada is having a big meeting. But tomorrow is Friday so he’s home all day with you guys,” Zayn offered.

 

“Okay. Are we going to Jummah prayer with Abu jaan tomorrow?” Zoheb asked.

 

“Yes sweetie,” Zayn replied. “Now what should we have for dinner?”

 

 

**

 

 

**Three Months Later**

“Guys. No screaming. Baba is fasting and he has a headache. Let him rest.”

 

Liam ushered Zoheb and Layla into the lounge and turned the TV on. He put on the Disney channel for them and then sat down with his laptop. It was a tiring day. It was freezing cold and the kids were running too high on energy. Zayn was taking a nap because of a headache. He was also fasting so Liam was trying to let him rest in silence by keeping the kids away. Liam had to finish some work which was difficult when the kids kept running around. This would be his last major pile of work before the winter holidays officially began for him. Zoheb’s school had ended today and Zayn had taken off two weeks starting tomorrow. Eid was tomorrow and they were hosting it at their house. Then a few days later they were flying to Switzerland with both sides of the family for the Christmas holidays. Zoheb’s birthday was on the 27th and they would celebrate that and New Year’s too before returning. It would be a good couple of weeks.

 

“Baba said we’re going to Ami jaan and Abu jaan’s house today for if-iftaar dinner. When do we leave?” Zoheb asked.

 

“Not for another hour bud,” Liam replied. “You guys need to take your baths and get changed too. In fifteen minutes, I need you upstairs so we can do that. But in the meantime, we need to stay quiet so Baba can rest. Sound good?”

 

“Sounds good,” Zoheb replied.

 

“Good!” Layla exclaimed and Liam grinned at her. Liam was going through his last email when something came into his inbox with a ping. It was from Ameera. Liam clicked on it and when he read the first few lines his heart stopped. Something strange and sad washed over his body.

 

“No… fuck.”

 

 

**

 

 

“Baba jaan!”

 

“In here,” Zayn called out. Zoheb came running into his bathroom and Zayn looked over at him and grinned. Zoheb was dressed in white shalwar kameez that matched Zayn’s and he looked so adorable. Zayn was styling his hair in front of the mirror and Zoheb stepped onto a stool and sat on the counter.

 

“Abu jaan is here so we can go to the masjid for Eid prayer,” Zoheb announced.

 

“Thanks, jaani. I’ll be a second,” Zayn said and picked up some cologne to spray it on himself.

 

“You- you’re very handsome Baba. Like a Disney prince,” Zoheb said with a wide smile.

 

Zayn smiled and squeezed Zoheb’s face to kiss him all over it. “Thank you meri jaan. But you’re the most handsome boy to exist. More than me or any Disney prince.”

 

Zoheb giggled and shrugged his shoulders and Zayn tickled him before kissing him again. “Can I have some?” Zoheb asked and looked at the cologne.

 

“Just a little,” Zayn said and sprayed Zoheb’s wrist lightly which he dabbed on himself.

 

“Dada always says you smell good and he’s right,” Zoheb said and ran out as Zayn laughed.

 

 

**

 

“Eid Mubarak!”

“Eid Mubarak!” Zayn hugged Doniya and Amir and then hugged Mina and Ali who were tall teenagers now. It still blew Zayn’s mind.

 

“Eid Mubarak, Mamoo,” Mina said and kissed his cheek.

 

“Is Laylee in the lehnga I bought?” Doniya asked as they followed Zayn to the kitchen. Zayn smiled because Layla indeed was and she looked adorable. The red skirt part had caused her to trip a few times but she looked too cute. The red top and dupatta with gold embellishments made the whole thing even better and everyone had been cooing over her all day. She was loving the attention and to Zayn’s amusement, posing for everyone’s photos.

 

“She is,” Zayn said. “I told Liam that Layla may be the youngest model he ever signs to RED.”

 

They walked down to the basement where everyone was in the party room. They had decorated it and even brought in a magician and face paint artist for the kids while the adults were chatting and eating on the side. Zayn spotted Zoheb getting his face painted in the game room and he waved at the boy. Zoheb waved back excitedly and Zayn smiled before going over to join Liam and his mom.

 

“Layla ripped her lehnga already,” Tricia said.

 

“Oh no,” Zayn said sadly and leaned into Liam’s side who wrapped an arm around his waist.

 

“I changed her into the backup. Still cute as fuck,” Liam said with a grin. Zayn smiled and leaned up to kiss him. He looked around and spotted Layla sitting in Safaa’s lap as they watched the magician perform a trick. She was completely absorbed.

 

“We gave the kids their Eid presents this morning and Layla was more excited about the wrapping paper with the giraffes on it, rather than the little convertible car we gave her. Zoheb drove it all day,” Zayn said with a snort.

 

“That’s Layla,” Tricia said and shook her head. “I brought some things you can add to the loot bags for all the kids.”

 

“Maa you didn’t have to,” Zayn said.

 

“I wanted to,” Tricia said. “By the way, Waliyha was asking what time everyone should be at the airport day after tomorrow?”

 

“Try to be there by 7,” Liam said. “Earlier the better when there’s this many people, especially kids involved.”

 

“Sounds good. Zoheb can’t contain himself over the trip,” Tricia said. Someone diverted their attention to get a movie going in the theatre and for food as well so Zayn and Liam dispersed to go take care of things. 

 

 

**

 

 

Zayn was brushing his teeth while Liam took a shower behind him. Zayn could see him through the glass walls around the shower and his brushing slowed slightly as he admired the hard muscles in Liam’s body.

 

“Hear what I said?” Zayn snapped his head up and looked at Liam through the mirror. The man was tying a towel around his waist and giving Zayn a knowing smirk.

 

“Hear what?” Zayn said and spat out his toothpaste and rinsed his mouth. Zayn felt a strong arm wrap around his waist and he grinned and straightened up so he could lock eyes with Liam in the mirror. Zayn was wearing just his briefs and his old NYU jumper which he had never gotten rid of. It was his favourite thing to sleep in. Liam ran a hand under the jumper and rubbed his stomach as he placed kisses on his neck

 

“Remember when I fucked you over this counter and then in the shower on Valentine’s day last year?” Liam murmured.

 

“Mhm. Filthiest and hottest sex of my life,” Zayn whispered and closed his eyes as Liam sucked on his neck. Liam ran his hand through the thick of Zayn’s hair and tugged on it causing sparks to shoot down his spine. Zayn loved his long hair for how it looked but secretly he also loved the sensation that spread through his body when Liam pulled it during sex.

 

 “Really? Filthier and hotter than that time in the pool of that hotel in Mexico on our third wedding anniversary? You were a nasty little thing that night, angel. I swear I saw stars,” Liam chuckled.

 

“Everything was worth it even though those two women saw us,” Zayn said and gasped when Liam started grinding against his ass. “I swear that turned you on more, you’re crazy.”

 

“You turn me on baby. It’s all you.” Liam peeled Zayn’s briefs off and he groaned desperately. Zayn reached back blindly and tugged Liam’s towel off. He locked eyes with Liam in the mirror and pushed back into his hard length. Liam’s eyes darkened and he gripped Zayn more tightly.

 

“Lube is in the drawer,” Zayn said and winked at Liam.

 

“I bet I can make it better than last year,” Liam said with a smirk and pulled the lube out.

 

“I know you can,” Zayn said and pressed his palms flat on the counter before sticking his ass out. “People say married sex gets so boring that eventually you find ways to avoid it. Tired of each other. But with you, I’m continuously amazed. Each time better than the last. I always want you jaan. It’s ridiculous how turned on a single stupid smirk of yours still makes me. In one second I’m that 18-year-old in the library again wondering what your arms can do.”

 

Liam laughed and kissed his neck as he slowly traced his entrance. “Blame these eyes of yours. Your entire face, actually. Fucking beautiful. I see people looking at you appreciatively whenever we’re out and I find myself thinking ‘bitch me too.’ Then I remember, that yeah, I’m the only one who gets that, gets you. And whenever you smile, I want to press you up against the wall and kiss you breathless or fuck you senseless. You do that to me Zayn Malik-Payne.”

 

“Mr. Payne,” Zayn breathed shakily as Liam’s fingers pushed inside him. His legs almost gave out.

 

“Baby,” Liam murmured as he looked at him the mirror. He was gripping Zayn’s hip tightly as he worked his fingers inside and Zayn saw how fucked out he already looked.

 

Zayn bit his lip as he smirked slightly. “Daddy,” he said and winked at Liam in the mirror.

 

 

**

 

 

“Wait… what did you actually want to say to me in the bathroom?” Zayn whispered when they were under the coves an hour later.

 

“Hmm? Oh yeah,” Liam looked at him and stroked his jaw gently. “There’s something I needed to talk to you about.”

 

“What is it?” Zayn asked.

 

“Well,” Liam said and he looked contemplative. “It’s actually better if I show you. I need to take you somewhere tomorrow. Sadie will be here to babysit so don’t worry.”

 

“Okay. Can I get a hint?” Zayn said and kissed Liam gently.

 

“Sorry angel. You’ll see tomorrow,” Liam said.

 

“Boo, you whore,” Zayn mumbled and Liam snorted with laughter before rolling over until he was on top of Zayn. He pressed kisses all over his face until Zayn started fake coughing and pretending he couldn’t breathe so Liam rolled away with a grin. Zayn rolled close to him immediately and settled with his head on Liam’s chest and arm over his stomach. His favourite position.

 

“Trust me. It’s a nice surprise,” Liam said and kissed his head.

 

“You’re a nice surprise,” Zayn mumbled over a yawn as sleep over took him. “Sleep now.”

 

“Good night my love,” Liam said and kissed his forehead.

 

 

**

 

 

_“Hi everyone. Hope you’re having a good time.”_

_There were loud cheers and Zayn grinned at the crowd. One man in a tuxedo at the front caught his attention and Zayn winked at him making the man smile. The two beautiful little children beside the man made him grin harder._

_“I just want to thank you all for coming out to this party. Our tenth wedding anniversary is obviously a huge milestone for us and we wanted to celebrate it with you all. My wonderful husband of ten years and I are glad you could make it. Ten years is usually that point in a marriage when you realize you’ve made it through the biggest chunk of your life with one person who is your partner throughout the crazy jungle we call life. It can be a make it or break it point for many too. But honestly, these ten years have flown by so quickly that I feel like I’m still living in the honeymoon period. Liam, jaan, thank you so much for being the best husband partner, friend and support system to me. And an even better father to our children. I could ask for no other person to spend my life with, grow old with, to create a life and future with, to raise our children with. And I can say with one hundred percent confidence, but my husband is the epitome of the best spouse and partner. Sorry people. I love you so much Liam, you’re my jaan, my everything. Happy ten years and I’m so excited for all the years to come. Here’s a little something.”_

_Zayn smiled at Liam who was smiling back at him as he rocked Layla side to side. The party had been going on for a while and the little girl had fallen asleep. They had contemplated leaving the kids with a babysitter but then decided they wanted their children at the party which celebrated such a huge point in their life. It was a fancy black-tie dinner and the kids looked adorable in their tux and fancy dress. Zayn could see the faces of everyone he loved in the room. Their families and friends and so many more people. People who had witnessed his and Liam’s relationship of fifteen years and marriage of ten from the beginning and some people who had just witnessed the recent years. But regardless, they all seemed so happy for him and Liam that it warmed Zayn’s heart._

_Zayn walked over to the piano on stage and sat down before taking a deep breath. He had gotten much better with public speaking and performing in public, but sometimes he still felt a pang of anxiety. He closed his eyes and a took a deep breath before looking to the side and making eye contact with Liam. He grinned at the man and then hit the keys which he knew better than his own name at this point._

_“Wise men say, only fools rush in,” Zayn started to sing and he heard a few aww’s from people who recognized what it meant to them. He looked over at Liam who was laughing softly and he blew Zayn a kiss. “But I can’t help falling in love with you.”_

_Zoheb, who was hugging Liam’s legs, looked completely enamoured as well. Zayn smiled at his son and watched him get excited and wave at Zayn. He continued to play and sing the song which was woven so deeply into their life at this point. In fact on their first anniversary, Liam had gotten him a framed work of art on which the lyrics were written. It was on the wall above their bed even today._

 

_“Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can’t help falling in love with you. For I can’t help falling in love with you.” Zayn’s voice was choked up when he finished and as applause thundered around the party room, Zayn wiped the tears from his eyes and stood up. When he made his way down the stairs, Liam pulled him into a tight hug and kissed all over his face._

_“I fucking love you so much. You are the best thing to have ever happened to me and I cannot wait to live out the rest of my life with you. These fifteen years have been pretty much a dream baby. You made my dreams come true. You are my dreams. Life will only get better with you in it. I don’t even see it as my life or your life._ Our _life is beautiful and we are some lucky bastards,” Liam said with a laugh. Zayn smiled as tears hit him and he quickly kissed Liam._

_“My heaven and earth are one with you in my life Liam. You are my heart, the other half of my soul. And I meant what I said up there, you’re the best part of my life and I’m lucky to have met you and married you. I love you,” Zayn whispered._

_“I love you too,” Liam murmured and kissed him again._

_“Let’s raise a glass to these two handsome bastards who make marriage look like a piece of cake. You guys seem to constantly and consistently define what love and marriage is about and we are all so happy for you and so excited to be celebrating you. To Liam and Zayn!” Niall raised his champagne glass on stage as he spoke into the mic. Zayn smiled and wrapped his arms around Liam who raised his glass. When everyone yelled ‘Liam and Zayn,’ Liam turned and captured his lips in a kiss._

 

 

**

 

 

“Where are we going Li?” Zayn asked and looked over at Liam who was in the driver’s seat.

 

“I said it was a surprise. But you’ll understand when we’re closer,” Liam said with a smile.

 

Zayn sighed and picked up Liam’s hand and pulled it into his own lap. He ran his finger over the ‘Zoheb’ and ‘Layla’ which were tattooed on the inside part of Liam’s right hand wrist. It was identical to the writing of his ‘Zayn’ tattoo. Zayn had the exact same tattoos of their kids’ names on his right wrist too. They also had their wedding date tattooed under their name tattoos on the left wrist. Those had been done after their wedding but the names of their children they had decided to do last year. Zoheb had been intrigued and started asking if he could ever get a tattoo. They had had to convince him that he needed to be an adult to get one.

 

“Zoheb wants to go to England and look at places where Harry Potter was shot,” Liam told him with a chuckle. “He thinks Switzerland is like next door to England.”

 

“We can take him if we have some time. Although it’s been decades since those movies came out. Who knows if some places are still intact,” Zayn said and ran his finger along Liam’s knuckles.

 

“I was thinking that on your birthday we take a trip. Just you and me. The kids should be fine for a weekend with your parents, right?” Liam asked.

 

“They should. But Liam I don’t need anything extravagant. An evening at home with you and the kids would make me more than happy,” Zayn said and kissed his hand.

 

“Baby, we do that every night. You deserve something special on your birthday. You work so hard,” Liam said and squeezed his thigh.

 

Zayn smiled and kissed Liam’s cheek before he saw something familiar out the window. It had been about five years since he’d been in this neighbourhood and a lot had changed. But he would recognize the streets he grew up on any day. “Li, why are we in my old neighbourhood? Are you buying property in Brooklyn?”

 

“No,” Liam said with a smile as he turned onto a smaller street. Up ahead Zayn could see a larger building that he definitely recognized. He’d spent four years in that building and would know it any day.

 

“Why are we at my old high school?” Zayn asked as Liam pulled into a parking space. Zayn was starting to feel even more suspicious.

 

“I had to call in and ask permission to be here after hours. It took some convincing but I did it. Come on,” Liam said and got out the car. Zayn felt confused and followed Liam out. He tightened his jacket against the cold and took Liam’s out stretched hand before they walked to the main doors.

 

“Over the last summer, on our tenth wedding anniversary, I wanted to come back here with you and reminisce about how far we’d come and what not. But the school was undergoing a massive paint job and we weren’t given permission. It would have been a nice gift though,” Liam said.

 

“You gave me a wonderful gift,” Zayn said and touched the necklace under his shirt which held pictures of both their kids.

 

“I know. And your gift to me was indescribable. It inspired me to do something that I’ve been working for the past few months since our anniversary and I want to give it you,” Liam said.

On their tenth anniversary, Zayn had given Liam a gift he had worked on for years, all in preparation for that big day. It had been a book he had written, more like a long love letter to Liam. Zayn had used his journal entries, memories and the letters he and Liam had written each other to compile a story. Their love story. It was Zayn’s perspective on how he had met Liam, fallen for him, their relationship over the years and especially their big moments like marriage and starting a family.

 

It was like laying his heart naked on paper, more vulnerable than anything he could have said aloud. He had it compiled into a physical book and called it ‘Can’t Help Falling Love with You’ before giving it to Liam. Liam had read it and been covered in tears by the end. It was their life and feelings put onto paper and Zayn had felt a series of emotions, mostly tears, while writing it over the years. Liam had made love to him the night he finished reading it and he spent hours worshipping Zayn’s body while talking about how much the words Zayn had written had touched his heart.

 

“What is it?” Zayn asked, wondering what Liam had for him. Liam just winked as they arrived at the main doors, which hadn’t changed at all in these years. Except maybe a paint job. They pushed them open and walked into the dark and empty hallway.

 

“In all the years I studied in this hellhole, I never came here after hours and now you’ve dragged me back,” Zayn whispered loudly. He felt like something cold had passed though him.

 

“Relax baby,” Liam said and tugged him closer to kiss his head. They walked down the hallways that sounded eerie with their footsteps and stopped in front of the library. Zayn smiled as his heart started thudding faster.

 

“Jaan. Have you brought me to the place we met fifteen years ago?” Zayn asked with a smile.

 

“Everything beautiful in my life began here,” Liam said and held the door open for him. “And unfortunately, they’re about to tear it down.”

 

Zayn’s heart stopped as he walked in and saw a lot of the furniture was removed. The bookshelves were standing but some were already bare. Libraries were dead anyway as books were all pretty much digital now. The rare libraries that existed were just hangout places for teens and the books were never touched.

 

“They’re what?” Zayn whispered, feeling a harsh sense of sadness rip through his heart,

 

“Come on,” Liam said and took his hand. They walked to the back of the library and Zayn smiled because that was where he had hidden out almost every day that he went to this school. The same spot where Liam had stumbled upon him and changed his life.

 

The bookshelves stood in the same position. The sane frayed blue carpeting. The books with the authors who had the last names starting with ‘xyz’ were here and that’s why Zayn had loved it because the books were so few and unused. Now the shelves seemed mostly empty save for a few books.

 

“You know that I still donate to this school and so I get emails about it occasionally. Ameera forwarded one to me the other which had the news about them tearing down the library section. They’re going to build a new student hub here and have sofas, a few study spaces, a foosball table and a coffee bar. It sounds like something else. But the books are all being donated to charity and the shelves are being torn down. Evidently physical books and libraries are extinct so they want to turn it into some new and improved space,” Liam said and sat down on the carpet. Zayn sighed and sat opposite him with his back against the shelf. The same spot where he had seen Liam that summer in 2017.

 

“This spot was my sanctuary all those years ago. When I needed to have an anxiety attack somewhere alone, get away from the nonsense of everyone and everything else, I used to come here. Even to get away from that asshole Drew when he was after me constantly,” Zayn said with a sigh. “Speaking of, that guy works as an assistant manager at a McDonalds in Brooklyn. Harry ran into him. He asked about me and said that it was interesting that I was married to Liam Payne,” Zayn said with a snort. “A lot of my classmates were shocked that I went from winning that internship to dating you to marrying you. But it’s interesting to know that Drew clearly didn’t progress.”

 

“Wow,” Liam said with a snort. “Life did no wonders for that asshole. Speaking of past enemies, did you know that Max Freeman violated his parole by almost killing his drug dealer? He’s back in with more years tacked on.”

 

“What a fucking idiot,” Zayn said and rolled his eyes. “It gives me immense pleasure to know that him and his fucking asshole of a brother are in shambles. Isn’t Jason living out his useless life on his birth dad’s ranch in Texas?”

 

“I think so,” Liam said. “Serves them right. I hope they continue to lead miserable lives. Max’s dad and Jason’s mom moved to some obscure town in Germany years ago to escape the media shit-storm they received. Mom says they’ve vanished. So Jason has nowhere left to go but his birth dad’s place. Fucker deserved it. Anyways. That’s not why we’re here.”

 

 “Why are we here?” Zayn asked and placed his feet in Liam’s lap who rubbed his legs. Liam smiled and pulled out a joint from his pocket. Zayn laughed and kicked his side lightly.

 

“This is a no smoking zone. Don’t you remember?” Zayn teased. Liam just grinned and pulled out a lighter to light it up. One thing that had amazed Zayn more than anything else about Liam was how he had quit smoking cold turkey when Zoheb was born. Zayn had suggested that Liam ease off it slowly because he knew the side effects of nicotine withdrawal. But Liam had been insistent. He had been so strong about it and never let Zayn see his cranky side when the side effects were too much. They had been taking care of a new born. Liam had obviously relapsed once or twice but then after that it had been easy for him. He’d never looked back. Other than the occasional joint when Niall, Tom or Miguel were around.

 

Liam blew out the smoke and smiled at Zayn before holding it out. Zayn decided, why not, since they were back in this place and reliving old memories. Zayn wrapped his lips around it and blew out the smoke after holding it in for a second. When he took another hit, Liam pulled him close and kissed him to shotgun the smoke. When the man bit his lip, Zayn giggled, already starting to feel a little loose.

 

“Remember the first time we shotgunned?” Zayn said and laughed as he remembered the night on Liam’s penthouse roof from years ago.

 

“I could never forget the night you exposed your kinky side,” Liam said with a smirk and Zayn smacked his leg although he was grinning.

 

“God, it feels like ages ago,” Zayn murmured. He was happy in his life. Happier than words could explain. This life was more than he could have dreamed of. And he wasn’t afraid to keep going forward. But sometimes when he thought about how fast time flew by, how it felt like it was literally yesterday when he had been sitting here reading ‘The Great Gatsby’ and heard the deep voice of a man who would become his life, it made him a little nostalgic.

 

Life was a beautiful thing though. The journey he had been on, and was still on, was something extraordinary. That young version of himself who read Fitzgerald and doubted himself constantly would never have thought that he’d be here. As a successful doctor, secure, capable, confident in himself, married to the most amazing man ever and a father of two beautiful children. But he was here. And it was incredible.

 

“Come here sweetheart,” Liam said and patted the spot between his legs. Zayn slid over and settled between the V of Liam’s legs. He leaned back and took the joint from Liam to take another hit.

 

“Remember when I said I was working on something for you after you gave the book me on our anniversary?” Liam said and kissed his ear. Zayn hummed and looked up at Liam curiously. “Well I have two surprises. First, I had to ask around a lot, but they’re allowing us to take these two bookshelves home.”

 

“What? Zayn said and looked at Liam in shock.

 

“It’s so strange, but these bookshelves mean too much to me. The thought of them ending up in the wood chipper was a little harsh. I met the love of my life between these bookshelves so I asked to have them and they said yes, although they thought I was a mad man. We’ll take them home and have them installed in our library,” Liam said with a soft smile.

 

“Jaan,” Zayn whispered and kissed his jaw. “You’re amazing. I couldn’t process the thought of them being destroyed either. These shelves were not only my sanctuary but they mean even more to be because I met you here. Thank you so much.”

 

“You’re welcome my love,” Liam replied and kissed him. “Now the other thing. I was inspired by that book you wrote for me. Can’t Help Falling in Love with You. It’s your perspective on our story. A love letter to me with all your feelings in it. And I wanted to do something similar for you. So I wrote you my version of our story. Everything I felt starting from the day I first saw you, how badly I wanted you, when I realized I loved you, all my feelings over these past years and basically just my love for you on paper. I included the letter I gave you and the vows I said on our wedding. You can think of it as my story about you and for you, or just a part two to your story.”

 

“Jaan,” Zayn whispered and turned around to cup his face. “Why are you- you’re so…. I can’t believe you. You’re fucking incredible.”

 

“You did something so special for me by writing that book. And one day I want our kids to read our stories and see how their dads fell in love. They can read about every little thing we felt, every fear we had, the depths of our love. Everything, happy and sad, that we went through. I hope one day they can take something away from it. About true love and marriage and family. Your words mean so much to me and I hope my words mean the same. When the kids are old enough we can give them these and they can see how much I love you, how much you love me, and how we created our life,” Liam said and kissed Zayn’s forehead.

 

“Well I wrote some pretty explicit poetry about you in the book I gave you where I described what you make me feel when you love me so good that my eyes roll into the back of my head and we can’t let them read that,” Zayn said and laughed into Liam’s neck.

 

“We’ll censor the sexual stuff and give it to them when they’re like 20,” Liam said with a laugh. He hugged Zayn close to his chest and kissed his head. Zayn smiled and felt tears prick his eyes as he thought about all the things Liam did that made him feel like he was bursting with love. And this was one of them. Fifteen years in and man continued to blow him away and put him to tears. Liam’s love wrapped around him like a cloak that had kept him warm, safe and secure over the years. It breathed life into him and he was positive that even after writing an entire book about it, there were still no words explicit enough to describe the love he held for this man. He could only ever come close enough to explaining it.

 

“I don’t know where you came from Liam Payne. But you’re an angel from above,” Zayn whispered.

 

“You’re my angel. My baby, heart, my life, my love, my everything,” Liam said with a smile and kissed him tenderly across his face.

 

“Meri jaan,” Zayn whispered. “Where’s my book?”

 

“In the car. I’ll go grab it. I titled it ‘To My Bambi Eyes’,” Liam said with a chuckle.

 

“I will always be your bambi eyes,” Zayn said with a shaky laugh as tears sprung to his eyes.

 

“My bambi eyes,” Liam murmured and looked at Zayn with his eyes full of love, tenderness and devotion. Zayn felt himself tremble under that gaze. Liam stood up and was about to leave when he cupped Zayn’s face and kissed him so passionately that Zayn gasped as his head hit the shelf behind him. “I had no idea that the day I walked into this library I would meet a pretty hazel-eyed boy who was reading Fitzgerald and he would pull my beating heart from my body and insert himself into it before tenderly putting it back. I met my bambi eyes on this very ground fifteen years ago and I have never stopped sending my gratitude out to the universe.”

 

“I could drown in your words Liam Payne. And this universe has every hand in bringing you into my life, that’s my belief. There’s an old Bollywood song that goes ‘kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal ataa hai, ke jaise tuhjhko banaya ge hai mere liye.’ It means, sometimes this thought creeps into my heart that you have been created solely for me. And that jaan, is exactly what we are to each other,” Zayn whispered.

 

Liam stared at him wordlessly and pressed another long kiss to his mouth that delved deeper until their tongues were tangled. Soon, Zayn pulled away and smiled cheekily. “You know. After that first time we met and you left, I used to come here and day-dream about you returning and kissing me breathless up against these shelves.”

 

“Fifteen years later the fantasy came true,” Liam teased and started to walk away.

 

“Hey, jaan,” Zayn called out and Liam paused and turned back. “I love you,” Zayn said with a smile.

 

Liam grinned and replied, “I love you too angel. I love you so fucking much that I could take the rest of our lives to keep saying those three words but it wouldn’t be enough to explain the depth of my love.” Zayn shook his head with a teary smile as Liam walked away.

 

When the doors closed loudly as Liam exited, Zayn stood up and took a shaky breath. He wiped his tears and walked along the bookshelf, running a hand along the wood. He paused for a second and took out his keys. These shelves were his and Liam’s now so it wouldn’t be wrong to do this. Zayn took one of his keys and carved a few words into the wood. He stepped back and smiled. ‘Zayn and Liam: 2017- beyond absolute.’ He used Liam’s words for describing the infinite kind of love they felt and he knew of no words truer. He didn’t love Liam till death would part them, he loved him beyond that too. Beyond the hereafter and any absolute limits. They were forever.

 

“I could live a thousand lives with you, and a thousand deaths with you, and it still would not be enough. The thirst I have for an eternity of love with you could never be quenched. You exist beyond all realms for me my love,” Zayn whispered. Those were words from his own wedding vows and they were the first words he had written in the book he had given Liam. They had gotten a third set of matching tattoos that said ‘I can’t help falling in love with you’ on their upper arms.

 

Zayn knew now that Liam would forever have all the feelings Zayn had for him written on paper. Their love was now penned down to exist even after they passed. And as Liam said, it was something they would pass on to their kids to show them how they had fallen in love, grown in it, created a life and future in it. If Zoheb and Layla ever wondered how much their dads had loved each other, it was all there. Zayn had pretty much put his beating, naked heart into that book and he was already breathless thinking about Liam’s.

 

A lifetime had passed since he had sat on this very ground and read all kinds of books about love, life and heartbreak. The future had seemed like some far off daunting concept. He had pretty much assumed he would have an average life, hopefully become a doctor, maybe find love. Although he doubted that last one. He had always been a romantic at heart, waiting for someone to come blow him away with love and romance. But he had felt deep down that it would never happen. Then on that hot summer day that very same dream had come sweeping into this library. Dark looks, smirks, teasing brown eyes, and a voice to make his toes curl. That man had then, so quickly, become more than just those physical things. He’d become the arms Zayn found safe space in, the voice that murmured calmly to him when he had panic attacks, the lips that kissed with love and adoration, the hands that held his own and supported him through life, the eyes that constantly told him that they loved him, the strong man who was his best friend, lover, father of his kids and other half throughout life.

 

His entire life had started that very moment he had been sitting here and Liam had turned the corner. It was the smallest catalysts in life that spurred on major future events. Whenever he thought back on his life, it was always small moments like that which were the most significant. The ones that had defined his life. It was crazy to even think about the fact that he could simply not have been sitting in the library that day and instead gone out with Harry. He would never have met Liam and found this incredible love. Or gotten married and had Zoheb and Layla. He could have found love elsewhere, it was entirely possible. But not the wonderful love and life he had now. And every single day when he stood in prayer, he found himself closing his eyes and thanking Allah from the bottom of his heart that he had been sitting in this very library that day and had met the man who had changed his world.

 

“Liam Payne, you walked into my life that day and stole the air from my lungs like whiplash,” Zayn whispered the words from his very first letter to Liam.

 

Zayn smiled to himself as the memories of that day played in his mind, tinged in pink and golden hues. Preserved in his mind and cherished in the corners of his heart as his most precious memories. He turned around when he bumped into a solid shape and quite literally had the air stolen from his lungs like he had just been thinking. Zayn gasped and stabilized himself by grabbing onto the arms of the person who steadied him by grabbing his waist. Zayn looked up and was met with sparkling brown eyes and a smirk. Just like that very first day.

 

“Hello,” Liam said with a grin.

 

Zayn smiled and gripped Liam’s arms while staring into the eyes that held his world. “Hi.”

 

 

**

 

fin.

 

**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i choose to end the fic on the first words they ever said to each other? yes, i did. and im emo. i've got a lot to say so im going to get urdu translations and quick notes over with first before saying the important stuff.
> 
> -zoheb is pronounced zo-hayb. the name means leader/king. it is also spelled like zohaib but i liked the zoheb spelling. also because its 5 letters like layla and i like patterns lol  
> -layla means night or beauty of the night in arabic  
> -yes the kids named start with z and l purposefully because when they decided to have kids zayn wanted their kids to have names starting with the first letters of their own names cus hes cheesy  
> -why did i skip many scenes like the actual wedding vows or ceremony? because i wanted the epilogue to flow in a way where we see the important moments of their life in a simple way. so the vows scene would have been pretty much them telling each other how much they love each other which we see many times in the chapter and they allude to it before and after too. and cus of the length of the ch, many things got chopped.  
> -there was an alternate ending where after this library scene i jump to the future where zoheb and layla are reading the book their dads wrote but i decided not to do it cus this fic has always been about just ziam and it would always end that way :) 
> 
> -  
> Wow. Okay. So I'm feeling A Lot right now. My heart feels super heavy and I may or may not have cried while writing the chapter but that can also be blame on my horrible emotional state these days. But this fic has been my baby for over a year now. It was something I held so, so close in my heart and finally decided to share with people and it grew so much all thanks to your love and appreciation and support. Trust me when I say i wouldnt have gotten far with it if i didnt have your support. writers really need support and love otherwise it feels like you're throwing your work into a void. But thanks to you guys ive gotten here, to the end. Over half a million words, 1200 kudos, 1160 comments, 32k hits. Wow. Thank you so fucking much for EVERYTHING. I wish I could hug all of you. Especially those of you who have supported me from the start and commented on every chapter. I know your usernames by heart but i wont write it down in case i miss people and that offends someone but just know that i have love your detailed reviews so much <3 and even the people who left a short message or kudos, i love you all! i love my friends who message me about the fic and show so so so much support that it melts my heart. Thank you all so fucking much. I'm nothing without you :') This past year was literal hell in this fandom and real life and i was (am) a mess constantly but this fic was my constant and writing it really helped me cope with things. alot of shit may have happened in the past year and i even contemplated quitting the fic but i didnt, i loved it too much and i finished it. im proud of myself. and eternally grateful to you all. i love you <3 and i will write drabbles for this fic but not right away, i need some time off from the stress of updating lol. but i will say on tumblr when im doing one and let you guys vote on options since there's too many. i prob will write another fic that i have an idea for but also not for a little while so pls dont constantly ask me when cus i dont want to pressure myself. 
> 
> Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being on this journey with me! I love you all so fucking much! Please feel free to ask questions about things i may not have mentioned in the chapter here in the comments or on my tumblr. id love to discuss the fic and ziam in their future :)
> 
> *HUGS*KISSES* Thank you for everything! With all your support, I can't help falling in love with you all :')

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: http://zaynsbambieyes.tumblr.com/
> 
> Twitter: @cartierandroses


End file.
